Megalextoria

Continuing to dig through these relics of internet pre-history I found at a thrift store a number of years ago (see the last post here), this particular 5.25″ floppy disk appears to contain various forum messages from a subgrup called “Close Encounters” of a Special Interest Group called “Close Encounters” from Delphi. Sounds pretty confusing to me too but I can’t claim to be an expert on how Delphi was organized in 1985 (or ever).

The disk is labeled “Forum Messages 9/8/85” so I assume all these messages are from 1985. Delphi was an pre-Internet online service similar to Compuserve or GEnie among others. Forum messages then were much the same as they are now, it’s just that you were dealing with messages in a text based terminal and not a web browser. These files appear to be text captured from a terminal program while reading this particular forum. The messages are split into two files: M001-105.DOC and M106-117.DOC. These probably refer to the message numbers. At any rate, these give you some insight into at least one small dark corner of pre-internet online activity…

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M001-105.DOC

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read 2

2 4-JUL-07:47: General Information
Our Sig and other things
From: JOHNMYSELF To: ALL

Please read the What’s new announcements for updates (of course) on what is.
Note that here, messages will be listed under topics already assigned. These
are the same topic headings as are in the databases. If you are reading this,
you already know how to get here so it remains to figure this place out. There
will be help available in the general information section of the databases (as
soon as we get it written). If you need help just ask via mail to one of the
sig managers, or here in the message space. Please note: when posting messages,

please select the topic that most nearly fits the message subject. Thank
you. John – Myself

FORUM>

3 25-JUL 20:01 General Information
Our New Place and the Walls
From: JOHNMYSELF To: ALL

Well, now that we are here, it is time we put something on the walls. I have
some files that Princess wrote which will be here as soon as I figure out
exactly where I hid them on my hard disk.

If there is anything not here that you would like (providing I have it) just let

me know and I will get it out asap.

If you find things here that for some reason aren’t quite right, or working
properly, again let us know and we will see what can be done or fix it if it is
something we can do ourselves.

Don’t forget the sig members open house conference this saturday.

John – Myself

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FORUM>

5 25-JUL 22:30 Fantasies
Fantasies – What are they?
From: JOHNMYSELF To: ALL

Fantasies:
What are they? Are they a product of our imaginations? Are
they secret wishes and/or desires? If we write a certain type of
fantasy does that mean we want to make it a reality? How should we
and others close to us view and handle our fantasies?

Peggay aka Princess

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FORUM>

6 25-JUL 22:31 Play Ground
A Joke
From: JOHNMYSELF To: ALL

This board has been explained to you in a message already,
but I figured I would get into the fun of it with a small
joke someone told me just this morning, so here goes:

What is the difference between ‘erotic’ and ‘kinky’?

‘Erotic’ is when you do it with a feather,
and ‘kinky’ is when you use the whole chicken!

Peggy aka Princess

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FORUM>

7 25-JUL 22:32 Matchmaker
Something About Us
From: JOHNMYSELF To: ALL

Since we are not ready for our own matchmaking service, I
was thinking that maybe what we could do here is to leave
information about ourselves – who we are, what we may be
looking for, what we like to do, etc. – and reply to the
ones who interest us. (not me tho – I am not involved here –
as I am married – sorry guys! )

Well, what do you think?

Peggy

FORUM>

8 25-JUL 22:34 Close Encounters
Close Encounters Group in the Sig
From: JOHNMYSELF To: ALL

Hi All,
Welcome to the New Home of the Sub-Group of Close Encounters.
It might get somewhat confusing to have both the SIG and sub-group
with the same name – but since we are all a part of the whole anyway,
should not be too bad.
I would like some input from you as to what you would like
our group to do. When the original group was set up it was thought
that we might use it as a smaller – more intimate version of the
SIG in general – basically where some things could be discussed
with fewer people or just on a one-to-one basis – the enoounter
group idea. I had originally decided to try to schedule a conference
for this group every other week. The ones we had were not what we
had figured they might be. Actually, this group is not really a
scheduleable type of thing. What I would like it to be would be
somewhere we could go to discuss things that are too hard to
talk about in the larger group. And, not necessarily on a schedule –
more like by contacting me or another member of the group
when you have questions about feelings or fears that might come
up and then scheduling a meeting about it. Sometimes you will be
surprised to find that others you know are experiencing the same
problems, or feelings, or fears that you are. If enough are we can
then set up a time to hold a co among ourselves about it. Generally
it will be sort of an impromptu group more than a scheduled one.
I would like you to post any questions you may have here,
or suggestions, or ideas, or just anything you would like to share
with us. We are all adults and will respect and appreciate anything
you may have to add to our group.
Thanks and a (HUG) in welcome

Peggy aka Princess

FORUM>

9 25-JUL 22:35 Lifestyles
Question About Lifestyles and Change.
From: JOHNMYSELF To: ALL

Lifestyles today:

How are they different from our Parents’ day?
Are they *much* different?
What do we teach our children about them?
How do we deal with them?

Any input will be welcome.

Thank you,

Peggy

FORUM>

10 30-JUL 22:28
RE: (Re: Msg 5389)
From: ALESSAN To: PRINCESS

I think we should handle them ‘VERY CAREFULLY’!!!

Really though, I think they are a combination of all of the things you listed
plus maybe a few more, part of a mood setting, or what we were told to expect
when we were growing up.

They can be a great turn-on and if taken too seriously a danger to a relationsip

and/or friendship. They can be such a turn-off that they scare some away.

John

FORUM>

11 30-JUL 22:30 Play Ground
RE: A Joke (Re: Msg 6)
From: ALESSAN To: PRINCESS

< G R O A N ! ! ! ! ! ! >

’nuff said.

FORUM>

12 3-AUG-14:51: Open Forum
A Flower for Connie
From: RODM To: CABUYS

When two people are in love they often give each other a “flower.” A flower is
something beautiful, delicate, and given in love. The flower may be something
done, something said, or a loving look or glance.

A love affair is when two people take those flowers and make a bouquet. And as
the flowers wilt with age they are replaced with new ones which are fresh and
even more beautiful than the ones before, and thus the bouquet remains fresh and

beautiful.

So give someone you love a “flower” today, and soon you’ll have a bouquet!

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FORUM>

13 3-AUG-14:55: Open Forum
RE: A Flower for Connie (Re: Msg 12)
From: CABUYS To: RODM

That is the most beautiful description of a flower that I’ve ever seen!

If more people would realize how easy it is to have such a “bouquet”, then the
world would be filled with much more love and happiness than it now is.

FORUM>

14 3-AUG-14:59: Open Forum
More about flowers
From: CABUYS To: ALL

Just so all of you will know the story behind the message posted by RODM, I’d
like to fill you in a little.

Rod has told me that he’s not the “romantic” type, that he never thinks to send
cards or flowers, etc., – yet he has consistently proven himself wrong these
past few weeks.

He sent the “flower” message to me via DMAIL and I asked him to repost it here.
He didn’t have time to do so before going on vacation for three weeks but did
allow me access to his account to post it.

I hope that all of you enjoy the true meaning befind his message. It’s the
little things we do for each other that convey our love.

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FORUM>

15 6-AUG-19:21: Open Forum
RE: More about flowers (Re: Msg 14)
From: JOEY To: CABUYS

Maybe you bring out the best in him, Connie.

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FORUM>

16 6-AUG-19:29: Open Forum
RE: More about flowers (Re: Msg 15)
From: CABUYS To: JOEY

I do so hope that’s true, Joey. And I already know he brings out the best in
me.

There’s nothing like the feeling of being in love! But in this case, we have
often asked ourselves why? There seems to be no answer readily available.

I guess we would solve a lot of mysteries if we really knew what attacted people

to each other, wouldn’t we?!?

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FORUM>

17 6-AUG-19:32: Open Forum
RE: More about flowers (Re: Msg 16)
From: JOEY To: CABUYS

Yes, Connie, no truer words were ever spoken. Everyone has their own definition

of what love is. I think it is different in each case. You “love” for different

reasons. True, there is nothing like the feeling of being in love. It will
always be one of the unsolved mysteries.

FORUM>

18 7-AUG-00:40: General Information
RE: Our New Place and the Walls (Re: Msg 3)
From: KRANKY To: JOHNMYSELF

CAN’T SEEM TO GET THE HANG OF THE SYSTEM. HAVE PURCHASED THE MANUEL BUT SEEMS
THERE ARE SO MANY CHANGES IN THE FORMAT THAT I CAN’T KEEP UP WITH THEM, I WILL
KEEP TRING BUT I GUESS THAT I’M NOT SMART ENOUGH TO LEARN THIS SYSTEM SO I’LL
PERM.SIGN OFF
UNTILL I CAN GO TO SCHOOL TO LEARN HOW TO USE THIS SYSTEM AND THEN I’LL TRY TO
COME BACK TO IT. THANKS TO ALL FOR PUTTING UP WITH MY IGNORANCE BUT IT’S THE
BEST I CAN DO. BYE BYE

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FORUM>

19 7-AUG-18:16: General Information
RE: Our New Place and the Walls (Re: Msg 18)
From: CABUYS To: KRANKY

Bill, altho I sent you a separate message via DMAIL, I do hope that you will
return to this sig soon!

We don’t want anyone to go away frustrated as you seem to be. If it helps any,
let me assure you that we are all in the learning stages of this system.

Delphi is growing by leaps and bounds. That sometimes means some people don’t
get the help they need to keep up with the constant, or rather nearly constant,
changes involved.

I, and I am sure others such as JohnMyself and Princess and others members of
this sig, will be more than happy to assist you in any way possible to help you
learn the ins and outs of Delphi.

For starters in the “education” process, the conference Thursday night is on how

to use the forum. Please do try to be there, won’t you?

-Connie, Sig Manager

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FORUM>

20 7-AUG-18:22: General Information
forwarding forum messages via Dmail
From: CABUYS To: ALL

If you have been reading the messages here in the forum, you will see one from
Kranky where he’s frustrated over trying to use Delphi.

When I read that message, I promptly dropped down into DMAIL, using the MAIL
command at the FORUM> prompt and sent him a message.

Then I returned to where I was in the FORUM and posted a message in reply to the

one he left JohnMyself. Since Kranky may not return to this SIG and since I
wanted him to be sure to see that particular message, I then read it and used
the FORWARD command at the FORUM> prompt to send him a copy of it via DMAIL.

Then I returned to FORUM> prompt and posted this message so that you could
all have an idea of how flexiable this system really is.

If *I* can learn it, folks, believe me, *anyone* can learn it!

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FORUM>

21 7-AUG-19:33: Fantasies
RE: Fantasies – What are they? (Re: Msg 5)
From: JOEY To: PRINCESS

Yes, Princess , they are a product of our imagination, they are secret

wishes and/or desires. I think most of us want fantasies to come true,

but, I think if they would, a lot of us would be disappointed. They are

much more vivid and realistic in our imagination. I don’t think anyone

should be judged by what our fantasies are. People are different, therefore

fantasies are different. Fantasies are not a basis for compatability.

Joe

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FORUM>

22 7-AUG-21:08: General Information
Challenge
From: CABUYS To: STUART

Hi Stuart!

I’m sure you will agree that an attorney needs to have a very bright,
inquisitive mind. Yet I’ve heard that you are having problems figuring out how
this forum works.

Well, friend, don’t feel alone. You’re in the best of company.

However, I *challenge* you to tackle this with the gusto I know is within you
and to contribute as much to this forum and sig as you feel comfortable doing
so!

Do you accept my challenge?

-Connie

FORUM>

23 7-AUG-23:54: General Information
RE: forwarding forum messages via Dmail (Re: Msg 20)
From: PETEVO To: CABUYS

WELL, I BELIEVE THAT IS EASY TO LEARN AND COPE WITH, BUT THAT LAST EXPLANANTION
LEFT ME GUESSING. ONE OF THE KEYS TO DOING THIS IS BETTER RESPONSE TIME. I HOPE

THE NEW COMPUTER IS ADDED SOON!!

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FORUM>

24 8-AUG-17:15: General Information
RE: forwarding forum messages via Dmail (Re: Msg 23)
From: CABUYS To: PETEVO

Response time is one of the biggest problems right now and Delphi is working on
it.

Back when this new software was first installed and there were not so many users

on line, those of us who did some testing found that it worked very fast.

Perhaps one day soon, it will again?!?!

Anyway, you said “that last explanation left you guessing”. Was there something

I said that confused you? (I have a terrible tendency to get too wordy when
trying to explain something in writing which often leads to confusion for all so

if that’s the case, yell at me to slow up and say again in English!

-Connie

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FORUM>

25 9-AUG-21:41: General Information
RE: Challenge (Re: Msg 5389)
From: STUART To: CABUYS

Dear Connie
The answer to your question is not an easy one. I appreciate your kind
thoughts,andunderstanding.
I have always accepted challenges in life, be it law school,marathons,or new
events in my life.Priority and time always play a part.
The answer at this time is that I’m not sure if and what I can contribute.
I have the New york marathon in 2 months and its demands besides the trials and
other relationships which take up extreme amounts of pleasurable time.My
thoughts are with you on the sig,but also on the above.

Stu

FORUM>

26 10-AUG 00:19 General Information
RE: forwarding forum messages via Dmail (Re: Msg 24)
From: PETEVO To: CABUYS

THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN, CONNIE. I DON’T HAVE ANY SPECIFIC PROBLEMS WITH USING
THESE FACILITIES. IN GF
FACT, I THINK THEY’RE PRETTY GOOD. I THINK A STERN WARNING TO SLOW DOWN AND KEEP

IT IN ENGLISH WILL SUFFICE. NO NEED TO YELL AND WAKE THE NEIGHBORHOOD !

-PETE

FORUM>

27 10-AUG 00:29 Open Forum
VOICE IN THE WILDERNESS
From: PETEVO To: ANYONE (NR)

IS ANYONE OUT THERE?

I AM ON DELPHI A COUPLE OF TIMES DURING THE WEEK. FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS,
THERE’S ONLY BEEN ONE OTHER CIRCLE MEMBER ON.

ARE THERE OTHER MEMBERS OUT THERE THAT ARE SOMETIMES ON DURING THE WEEK? I
COULD PROBABLY DETERMINE THE POPULATION OF THE GROUP BY THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE ON
AT ANY GIVEN MINUTE USING SEVERAL SAMPLES. . .

BUT I AM GENERALLY ACCUSED OF BEING TOO ANALYLTICAL.

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FORUM>

28 10-AUG 19:52 Open Forum
RE: VOICE IN THE WILDERNESS (Re: Msg 27)
From: PRINCESS To: PETEVO

I am on as well Pete, but not on co much … we are slowly but surely learning
the new system, and time is always a matter of concern here … hope we can get more people
active here but not sure how we will do so, if you have any suggestions …
PLEASE leave them … am trying to come up with topics and questions of interest

… also to dispell the image that this sig is only concerned with Sex – as in
compusex or otherwise – and forgetting the relationships part. We want to
attract members who are able to give of themselves for themselve and others …
to help both

oh well, enough ramblings

we are here …

Princess aka Peggy

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FORUM>

29 12-AUG 22:07 Open Forum
RE: VOICE IN THE WILDERNESS (Re: Msg 28)
From: PETEVO To: PRINCESS

THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO REPLY. I AM GLAD I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE IN THE
FOREST.

I AM ALWAYS HAPPY TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS, AND AM WILLING TO GIVE OF MYSELF TO HELP
OTHERS.

HOPE YOU GET ENOUGH FREE TIME TO ENJOY YOURSELF.

PETE

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FORUM>
30 23-AUG 02:31 Fantasies
RE: Fantasies – What are they? (Re: Msg 21)
From: TIGLON To: JOEY

Joey,

Fantasies are also very heathy for whithout them, we would stagnate wouldn’t you

think?

Gayle

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FORUM>

33 23-AUG 02:48 Close Encounters
This SSIG
From: TIGLON To: ALL

It is true in every ‘groupp’ using the term of “relationship” someone always
jumpes ps to conclusions and assumes the ‘compusexx approach to handindling a
SIG.

Things happen like that on other syystems and BBS’s, but it doesn’t have to
happen here.

Sex is wonderful, but I think it needs to fit into a relationship. Without it,
why would we bother witho someone when we could probabluy satisfy ourselves?

Oh well…

Gayle

FORUM>

36 23-AUG 22:30 Fantasies
RE: Fantasies – What are they? (Re: Msg 30)
From: JOEY To: TIGLON

Gayle,

Yes, we probably would stagnate. It is like the man who had enough money

where he could buy anything he wanted. He was very unhappypy because he had

no desires. I think if peopl someone ever stopped desiring experiences and/or

situations, they would surely stagnate and be of no use to anyone.

Joe

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FORUM>

37 23-AUG 23:30 Fantasies
RE: Fantasies – What are they? (Re: Msg 36)
From: TIGLON To: JOEY

Joe,

Yes see I am not totally mysterious am I?

I also agree with what you said. Without desires we have nothing to look forward

to or nothing to strive for.

I will fill out the profile after a while ok?

Gayle

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FORUM>

38 24-AUG 18:35 Noteworthy News
Link-Up Magazine
From: CABUYS To: ALL

In the July/August 1985 issue of Link-Up Magazine, there is an article titled
“Dipping into Delphi” by Elizabeth M. Ferrarini.

She tells of the origin of Delphi, what it has to offer and talks of the games
and conferencing facilities. She even mentioned Delphi’s old SIGs and I quote:

“If you look hard enough, you might see the remains of Delphi’s first SIGs.
Connie A. Buys’ Circle of Friends is a group of subscribers who discuss lusting
electronically. If you’re having trouble with the real thing, you can try Ron
Mazur’s American Sexology.”

Generally, her article presented a rather poor impression of Delphi. I have to
give her credit, tho. She did something very few people do – she got my name
spelled correctly! Too bad she got the old SIG name wrong!

And as for this “lusting electronically”, I’ve been looking all over for it! Can

anyone tell me where it’s hiding????

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FORUM>

39 24-AUG 21:36 Noteworthy News
RE: Link-Up Magazine (Re: Msg 38)
From: JOEY To: CABUYS

Connie,

Elizabeth Ferrarini also wrote a book titled “Confessions of an Infomaniac”. It
is a hilarious account of her first computer, modem, etc and mostly about her
experiences on cis. It is worth reading. Joe

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FORUM>

40 24-AUG 22:07 Noteworthy News
RE: Link-Up Magazine (Re: Msg 38)
From: PETEVO To: CABUYS

SORRY TO HEAR THAT THE ARTICLE PRESENTED A POOR IMPRESSION. I HOPE YOU WEREN’T
TOO DISAPPOINTED. BUT I THINK YOU DID HIT THE PERTINENT POINTS:
YOUR NAME WAS SPELLED CORRECTLY!! I KNOW WHAT THATS LIKE. YOU’D THINK VAN
OPENS WAS EASY TO SPELL, BUT YOU SHOULD SEE THE VARIATIONS. ISN’T ELECTRONIC
LUST LIKE YOUR MODEM HUNGERING TO BE CLOSER TO YOUR PRINTER INTERFACE CARD? I
PREFER CONVENTIONAL LUST! . HAVE A GOOD ONE, CONNIE.

PETE

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FORUM>

41 25-AUG 03:06 General Information
RE: Our New Place and the Walls (Re: Msg 18)
From: LOUSCHNEIDER To: KRANKY

Check out the HELP files in * in Flagship Commomodore on the GROUPS menu. They
have some excellent documentation o n the various forum and CO commands. Or
maybe wi we could get the SYSOPS to post some of them here? -Lou

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42 25-AUG 03:11 Noteworthy News
RE: Link-Up Magazine (Re: Msg 38)
From: TIGLON To: ALL

Oh yes….electronic lust

Few have it Few never had it Few cant find it Most cant handle it

Hehehe I have found some of the most interesting and wonderful people online
that i have ever met in person.

Funny…maybe people are most open on a CRT than in the bar at Brother Oliver’s
huh

Tiggy

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43 25-AUG 10:13 General Information
RE: Our New Place and the Walls (Re: Msg 41)
From: CABUYS To: LOUSCHNEIDER

We have posted many of the HELP files from *Flagship Commodore*, thanks to Deb’s

offer of them via Insider’s SIG.

But if there are any we overlooked that you think would be helpful to our
members here, please shout loudly about ’em so I can hear you!

FORUM>

44 25-AUG 19:33 Noteworthy News
RE: Link-Up Magazine (Re: Msg 42)
From: JOEY To: TIGLON

Electronic lust is ok, but I prefer the real thing.
BIG GRIN Joe

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45 25-AUG 20:04 Noteworthy News
RE: Link-Up Magazine (Re: Msg 44)
From: TIGLON To: JOEY

Joe,

The real thing is wonderful, but I have to admit, the computer is a better place

to meet someone than our local single bar or the local motel (hehehe)

And some of the best frenchmen are scattered all over the place….so most don’t

cometo Sacramento much

(ha) Gayle

FORUM>

46 26-AUG 18:12 Fantasies
RE: Fantasies – What are they? (Re: Msg 30)
From: PRINCESS To: TIGLON

agree that we would stagnate without fantasies .. and dreams they are what make
life worthwhile Peggy

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47 26-AUG 19:28 Fantasies
RE: Fantasies – What are they? (Re: Msg 46)
From: DAVIDBR To: PRINCESS

FANTASIES ARE THOSE THINGS THAT ALLOW US TO BRE BREAK THE EVERYDAY TEDIUM OF
LIFE,ADDING COLOR TO EVERYDAY SAMENESS. DREAMS ARETHO THOSE THINGS THAT ONE
HOLDS DEAR.OUACHINGOUR ULTIMATE GOALS.THERE IS NO POWER IN THE UNIVERSE GREATER

THAN HOPE,& A PERSON’S DREAMS SHOULD EC ULD EXCEED THEIR REACH, OTHERWISE WHAT

IS HEAVEN FOR?

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FORUM>

49 26-AUG 21:55 Fantasies
B&D
From: JOHNP To: ALL

Is anyone here into B&D, either with actual experiences or thru fantasies or
conversations?

Maybe we could begin an interesting coversation.

FORUM>

50 29-AUG 18:08 Noteworthy News
A Kiss
From: CABUYS To: ALL

This quote is from the September, 1985, issue of Cosmopolitan magazine:

“The act of kissing may transmit a special chemical substance that induces love,

according to a report in the ‘British Journal of Dermatology.’ Sebum, a
sebaceous gland secretion transferred between partners as they kiss, seems to
stimulate bonding behavior. Sebaceous glands are found in highly kissable
areas: neck, face, lips and female nipples.”

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51 29-AUG 19:18 Noteworthy News
RE: A Kiss (Re: Msg 50)
From: JOEY To: CABUYS

Hmmm, thanks Connie. Now I know the areas where I need to concentrate.(smile)

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52 29-AUG 22:00 Noteworthy News
RE: A Kiss (Re: Msg 51)
From: CABUYS To: JOEY

Joey, if you had to choose only *one* area, which would it be?

(I’d like to see everyone answer that question!)

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FORUM>

53 30-AUG 07:49 Noteworthy News
RE: A Kiss (Re: Msg 52)
From: JOEY To: CABUYS

Connie : The Face.

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FORUM>

54 30-AUG 21:18 Fantasies
RE: Fantasies – What are they? (Re: Msg 5)
From: POPE To: PRINCESS

Fantasies are the way that we reward ourselves for the nice things we feel about

who we are, and what we are capable of. When people fantacize they are
describing to themselves good things that they feel that they should have or
desr serve to have… Through fantacy, a person becomes in touch with their
deepest needs they learn about what they would like to recieve, and hopefuly
descover within themselves how nice it is to give…Personally, if
I had not discovered how nice it is to recieve certain types of sexual
stimulation through imagination, I would never have learned to give my best
during sexual encounters. I my early years much of my success as a sexual
partner came fr om the self confidence I built through fantacy and imagination,
and imagination is so important in an active and successful sex life….

John Paul

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55 30-AUG 22:16 Noteworthy News
RE: A Kiss (Re: Msg 51)
From: TIGLON To: JOEY

Who are you going to concentrate on huh?

Tiggy

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FORUM>

56 30-AUG 22:17 Noteworthy News
RE: A Kiss (Re: Msg 52)
From: TIGLON To: CABUYS

Connie,

I love the neck on my men….ok?

Tiggy (so what is your answer?)

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FORUM>

57 31-AUG 10:18 Noteworthy News
RE: A Kiss (Re: Msg 56)
From: CABUYS To: TIGLON

I love the neck, too, from just a little below and behind the ear, down to the
shoulder, across the front to almost the center. Then there’s a small but very
sensitive place on the side of the face, below the cheek but more towards the
ear that I simply *LOVE* to kiss!

I love to be kissed on the back of the neck over to just below the ear. This is
the quickest most pleasurable way to turn me on! Tho I have a tendency, once my
lover starts doing that, not to want him to stop

58 31-AUG 18:47 Noteworthy News
RE: A Kiss (Re: Msg 57)
From: TIGLON To: CABUYS

Connie,

Who IS this guy? Do you have a phone number? (kidding)

Anyway…that seems to be one of the places that turns me on…I still am
waiting to find a few more…(grin)

Tiggy

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59 31-AUG 20:20 Noteworthy News
RE: A Kiss (Re: Msg 58)
From: CABUYS To: TIGLON

Believe it or not, this guy really exists! And he’s a member of this sig.

Since I met him, he’s taken me on quite an adventurous journey of learning about

myself – about what turns me on, about feelings and sensations I never knew
could exist! I’ve never in my life had anyone so loving, so caring, so
sensitive, who treats me as tho I’m the most important person in his life.

Before this particular person entered my life, I met someone else who I still
see as often as financially possible. That person is so very special to me too
and he is the one, who, after my divorce, made me feel like a wonderful, loving
person who could be loved. This was after 15 years in a marriage where things
went from bad to worse, where feelings were buried as far as possible deep
inside because they were simply *not allowed.*

Oh well. Enough of my story. I hope that by sharing as much as I possibly can
with others here, they in turn will open up.

We are all human with very similar experiences and often it’s wonderful to know
someone out there feels like we do!

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60 31-AUG 20:30 Noteworthy News
RE: A Kiss (Re: Msg 59)
From: TIGLON To: CABUYS

Connie,

I loved your message..in fact I got to read it twice before I hit the no on the
more? hehe

Anway..yea I have met a few people on this system that I have grown quite fond
of..and one in particular that I just recently met…..he is so sweet and
wonderful and caring…which is easy to see even over a computer terminal.

He lives a ways away, but things will come together sooner or later.. more
sooner than later tho..hhhe

I’ll let you know what h
appens, and then we can compare notes! (big grin)

See ya in CO tonight!

Tiggy

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61 31-AUG 20:57 Noteworthy News
RE: A Kiss (Re: Msg 60)
From: CABUYS To: TIGLON

Gayle,

I wish you both the best of happiness and hope that you do get a chance to meet
soon!

Isn’t comparing notes always fun?

-Connie

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62 1-SEP-20:31: Noteworthy News
RE: A Kiss (Re: Msg 52)
From: JOHNMYSELF To: CABUYS

I generally start with the face and lips. from there, the whole body is open
territory.

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63 2-SEP-02:15: Poetry
I’m glad we talked..
From: TIGLON To: JOEY

Joe,

I am glad you told me about your poems earlier..I am off to read them now..

I’ll let you now if I ever get inspired to write one..I’m trying to get inspired

now to write an article…and it isn’t working … sigh

Take care hon! Tiggy

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64 2-SEP-03:57: Noteworthy News
KISSES
From: RODM To: CABUYS

I am uncertain of the use of the forum but would like to comment on ‘A Kiss

A kiss can be anything from a from of greeting to a ‘feverish’ expression of
passion.

Greeting – usually a light kiss or even just a ‘peck’ on the lips, cheek, or
forehead

Caring – a light but slightly sustained kiss to the lips, cheek, or even to
the eyelids followed by a kiss to the forehead

Loving – this is the first of the more ‘serious’ kisses and one where an
awareness of the response of the person being kissed becomes an
important factor.

the loving kiss is a kiss to the lips and hopefully while in each
others arms.

this kiss is often the prelude to more passionate kisses but at this
point the kiss is metered by the response of your partner as to the
length and intensity of the kisses.

Passion – now comes a time of passionate exchanges where the two partners or
lovers are in fact conveying strong messages of passion in an unbroken
exchange of kisses.

the passion kiss may take several forms or levels of intensity varying
a simple but strong ‘closed mouth’ to a ‘lip kiss’ where the upper or lower lip
is kissed seperately, to a consuming ‘open mouth’ or
‘french’ kiss.

the main characteristic is the sustained exchange of passion between
and on the part of both partners.

Love Making – the love making kiss can only be described or limited by the
thoughts,
memories, or imaginations of two lovers for this is a kiss made as
a part of ‘unleashed’ passion one that is in no way limited to any
particular duration, intensity, or location.

the love making kiss begins at the mouth where the passion kiss

seems to need further response or passion and a break in the kiss is
immediately followed by rapid short kisses to the lips, cheeks, forehead, then
moving to the neck where the pace is slowed but the intensity increased and
moving to the base and back of the neck and moving occassionally to the side of
the neck and to the bottom tip of the earlobe as well.

as the responses increase I move to the shoulder, the front of the neck,
cleavage, breasts, nipples etc.

Obviously at this point the kiss has become a part of the actual ‘Love Making’
and most probably the begining of ‘the ultimate kiss’

I used first person descriptions of the love making kiss because I dare not
define such a personal and passionate thing for anyone other than how I
personally perceive it.

I often have trouble communicating and if this is uncertain or not clear I would

be glad to clarify it for you !!!

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65 2-SEP-07:25: Noteworthy News
RE: A Kiss (Re: Msg 64)
From: CABUYS To: RODM

One comment for now: You obviously don’t have as much trouble communicating as
your last line would indicate!

I’ll be back later with more comments about the rest of your message!

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66 2-SEP-07:27: Poetry
RE: I’m glad we talked.. (Re: Msg 63)
From: CABUYS To: TIGLON

What is the subject of your article? Perhaps we can inspire you in some way….
if it’s sig-related!

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67 2-SEP-16:36: Poetry
RE: I’m glad we talked.. (Re: Msg 66)
From: TIGLON To: CABUYS

Connie,

Well this article is stuck in third gear with a title of ‘Medical Computerized
Studies…’ boring huh?

Yes that is what I think..

But if you have an idea or several, I always have an outlet for the selling and
such!

Tiggy

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68 2-SEP-21:05: Noteworthy News
RE: A Kiss (Re: Msg 61)
From: RODM To: TIGLON

Dear Tiggy,

I hope you don’t mind me dropping my two cents worth in

It sound like you may be about to find a whole extension of LIVING and I hope it

is that for you.

I can tell you that it is possible to find an unimagined beauty of living just
the other side of that screen.

Good luck and a wish for more of life and afterall AIN’T
LIFE GREAT !!!

Rodm

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69 3-SEP-02:59: Noteworthy News
RE: A Kiss (Re: Msg 68)
From: TIGLON To: RODM

Rodm,

Yes, I I know all about the life on the other sideof the screen.. and what I
dont know..I have a good teacher!

See ya!

Tiggy

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71 5-SEP-19:11: General Information
This Sig & Sharing
From: CABUYS To: ALL

One the purposes of this sig is to learn to share your thoughts and feelings
about relationships with other adults who are interested.

I’ve posted some messages in the forum tonight in an effort to get some of this
sharing going. Please read and respond to as many of them as you feel
comfortable in doing so. You never know but that someone might read something
you’ve written that will be of help to them and if you didn’t post your thoughts

in the forum, that would be a loss! Please share! Thank you.

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72 5-SEP-19:13: Open Forum
‘old married folks’
From: CABUYS To: ALL

Recently I was discussing sexual relationships with a friend of mine. He made
the comment during this discussion that it is very easy in a sexual relationship

to start acting like “old married folks.”

When such a relationship is just beginning, there is an eagerness to seek out
what is exciting or to explore each other to learn as much as you can about the
other person. This can run at quite a fevered pitch for some time!

But over time (which can be weeks or months), the desire to do this can
gradually diminish or cease entirely. Usually at the point where it ceases, the

relationship is very likely to end.

How can you keep that special excitement in a relationship? What things do you
do now to make that person feel special and
to keep his/her interest alive?

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73 5-SEP-19:14: Open Forum
Working on Relationships
From: CABUYS To: ALL

Until a few years ago, I was very unaware that a good relationship requires a
lot of work to be successful!

And it requires that all parties involved participate! This was very much
opposed to the way my parents taught me as I grew up.

Do you feel that the majority of people in this country work on their
relationships? Do you, yourself, consciously work on your relationships or do
you just let them happen? If you are aware that you
work on them, in what ways
do you do so?

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74 5-SEP-19:15: Open Forum
Complete Honesty
From: CABUYS To: ALL

Do you feel that complete honesty helps or hinders a relationship?

For instance, my lover and I are frequently asking each other “what are you
thinking or feeling right now?” We’ve made a promise to each other not to hold
back even if pain might result. I would always prefer to know what’s going on
with him than to imagine something that isn’t

Sometimes this pain does happen. When that occurs, the only thing we can do is
help each other thru it, by holding on to each other, and talking and sometimes
even crying together.

We both feel that our relationship has become stronger and better because of our

agreement.

What do you think of total honesty in a relationship?

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75 5-SEP-19:16: Open Forum
Infidelity
From: CABUYS To: ALL

Infidelity is defined by Webster as “disloyalty; unfaithfulness, especially in a

husband or wife.”

In this age of computer telecommunications, many people are finding themselves
involved ‘sexually’ (in the form of “compusex” or “hot chats”) with someone on
line .

If one or both parties involved in an on-line relationship happen to also be
married or otherwise committed to another off-line, is there infidelity
involved? If so, why?

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76 5-SEP-19:27: Play Ground
Sexual Trivia
From: CABUYS To: ALL

If you have any of these items, please leave a reply to this message as soon as
possible:

Sexual Trivia
Sexual Trivia II
Love, Sex, & Romance Trivia Card Set by Axlon Games
Illustrated Sexual Trivia by Rick Detorie published by RGA Publishing Group.

Thank you.

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77 5-SEP-19:30: Play Ground
RE: Sexual Trivia (Re: Msg 76)
From: CABUYS To: ALL

Believe me! I’m not all that much into sexual trivia, but I have played the game

and found it lots of fun (after I got over being nervous and embarassed!) In
fact, I think I even won one game, if my memory is correct!

We are contemplating some ideas for the sig involving some or all of these items

and need to know just how “available” they are to sig members.

Please do take the few minutes involved to reply to this!

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78 5-SEP-20:11: Open Forum
RE: Complete Honesty (Re: Msg 74)
From: KRANKY To: CABUYS

EVERYTHING SHOULD BE IN MODERATION. YOU CAN’T GENERALIZE FOR ALL SITUATIONS.
TAKE EACH ONE AS AN INSTANCE AND SEE IF ALL OUT HONESTY IS THE CORRECT THING TO
DO IT DOESN’T ALLWAYS WORK

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79 6-SEP-00:14: Open Forum
RE: ‘old married folks’ (Re: Msg 72)
From: RODM To: CABUYS

The “old married folks” attitude occurs when either or both partners in a
relationship PRESUMES instead of ASSUMES the feelings , wants , or desires of
the other and sometimes quits trying to “win” the affection of the other

I guess the preventing of this is part of the working, efforts, and habits
usually necessary to keep a relationship “alive”.

The two things I think of that I TRY to do to keep love and warmth in a
relationship is (1) evaluate what I do or say to make sure that it is motivated
by or at least NEVER in contridiction of my love for that person and the desire
for the good and happiness of that person and then (2) a “novelity” of mine is
to make sure that whenever possible that I do something or say something that
totally and pleasantly surprises the other person as perhaps show a new or
deeper “glimpse” at the loving side of me or my love of that person. I TRY to do

this often enough enough as to cause the other person to never know what to
expect but just infrequently enough that something is not always expected.

This is only a part of what is NECESSARY to ensure length and happiness of
loving relationship but after all isn’t a true and loving relationship worth
WHATEVER it takes. Where else can one find such beauty in life at such a bargin
price!

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80 6-SEP-00:22: Open Forum
RE: Complete Honesty (Re: Msg 74)
From: TIGLON To: ALL

I have a dear friend of mine back east and we are ther close enough to need the
sense of honesty in our relationship to the point of asking the same question
that Connie and her lover do….even thought *we* aren’t lovers….

When this question comes up and we both usually answer honestly. I know I do,
and I trust him enough to know he does also. We both have been hurt or upset.

but we always talk it out and everything always works out. Anything is better
than wondering and *NOT* knowing for sure if something you said or didd was
wrong or misplaced.

I hope this helps somewhere or someone!

Tiggy

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81 6-SEP-02:43: Open Forum
RE: Working on Relationships (Re: Msg 73)
From: JOEY To: CABUYS

Connie,

I think most people take relationships and the person in it for granted after
awhile. No, they don’t “work” on them. I think after some people get into a
realtionship, they feel they “have” the other person and then they can be
themselves. It doesn’t work folks. The other person got involved with you on
their impression of you and what they were looking for in a lover or friend. If
that changes drastically, which happens often, and I think men change more often

than women, then the other person puts distance between you and withdraws. Can
you blame them? Yes, I work on my relationships. If the other person was
worthwhile to persue before, why not keep persuing? How many couples do you know

where the man sent her flowers and candy before the marriage or the consumate
relationship, and then afterwards, she did good to get any recognition at all
from him, or vice versa. You get what you put into it.

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82 6-SEP-12:41: Open Forum
RE: Infidelity (Re: Msg 75)
From: FSF To: CABUYS

Regarding message/question #75 on infidelity, my opinion is that NO, the
fidelity aspect of your “real” relationship with a spouse is not compromised. I
feel that a “hot chat” can be likened to nothing more than reading a sexually
oriented magazine that can arouse you. Though I admit the conversation is
“live” and very stimulating, in many ways this can enhance the real relationship

that you have with your lover, and parts of a “hot chat” are used to advantage
when it comes to the “imagination” aspect of a relationship, which is generally
agreed to act as in a mostly positive way on a relationship. Comments on my
viewpoint are sincerely appreciated by any members of the SIG.

Dan

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83 6-SEP-18:13: Noteworthy News
Dr Ruth’s Good Sex Game
From: CABUYS To: ALL

Quote from the Sept. 7-13 issue of TV Guide magazine:

“In her distinctive-and often explicit-style, Dr. Ruth Westheimer has counseled
on sexuality in books, on radio and on her Lifetime TV series. Now, she’s come
up with an informative, question-and-answer board game – Dr. Ruth’s Game of Good

Sex (for two to four couples).

Why a game? ‘We have all this scientifically validated data. If it’s only in
universities, it isn’t helping anyone,’ she says. ‘If a game can provide some
interaction between a couple, some thought-provoking information, it’s good.
There’s a need in society for this kind of information.’

Well, it does sound like it would be more fun than Trivial Pursuit. We just
wonder what you have to do to win.”

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84 6-SEP-19:22: Open Forum
RE: Complete Honesty (Re: Msg 74)
From: JOHNP To: CABUYS

Honesty, I believe, is always a good thing.

However, sometimes not saying something is better then telling the absolute
truth. For example, say that you are engaging in a sexual encounter, and for
some reason you have a short image of someone else, and that image really turns
you on. Is it necessary to explain to your lover that you were, in part, turned

on by thinking of someone/something else?

Of course not. That serves only to hurt your partner, and serves no useful
purpose. Discretion, at times, is the better part of valor.

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85 6-SEP-19:48: Open Forum
RE: ‘old married folks’ (Re: Msg 72)
From: TJH To: ALL

Re ‘the old married folks’ syndrome:

I think that the reason that special excitement might diminish is because
oftentimes there may be nothing but sex in the relationship. If you take the
time and effort to choose a partner who not only excites you physically but is
also one who appeals to you in other ways (intellectually, personality-wise,
etc.) that you will find new and exciting things to do together that do not
necessarily involve sex. I’m not trying to downplay sex, I’m just saying that a

large part of sexual excitement derives from the fact that you’re sharing
something intimate with someone who you value on many different levels , someone

whom you admire and respect.

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86 6-SEP-21:29: Open Forum
RE: ‘old married folks’ (Re: Msg 72)
From: JOHNMYSELF To: CABUYS

In a way, it is good to let the ‘fever’ die down. All to often though, we tend
to take each other for granted which is a prime cause of ‘loss of interest’. We

tend to feel that the other party will always be there and we actually get
‘lazy’ as far as the over all relationship runs.

Over time, all relationships will change and it is the way of things that some
of those will end while others continue in various states.

However, it need not necessarily lack excitement or interest if you attend to
some fairly simple facts.

Everyone needs to feel needed, wanted, or somehow special and just your still
being there isn’t enough assurance that you still need that person. You must
express yourself in that regard. That turns out to be a fairly simple task. A
card, or letter, (so what – you live together), the words ‘I Love You’ (not too
rarely or too often), and a little thoughtful ‘unpredictability’ can do wonders.

Also, try to re receptive to mood and attitude changes. With practice, you can
learn what your partner’s moods mean (maybe not exactly – but close enough) and
also learn to respond appropriately.

Some things I do include not doing. I let my wife/lover (she is both) have
needed privacy rather than insist I have her attention. Common sense you say?
Sure, but how often we forget! Sometimes, just holding her when I sense distress

over some personal problem. Giving her room to be herself even when I may be
upset by things she might do. These all show her I care.

As for my lover, well, I try to be there when she needs someone to listen or
just to talk to. Time, distance, and money all prevent us brom being together
in person. Still, she knows that I am there should she need me.

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87 6-SEP-21:34: Open Forum
RE: Working on Relationships (Re: Msg 73)
From: JOHNMYSELF To: CABUYS

As noted in my other comment there was I time when I
lost track of things in that regard. A variety of important events made it
quite clear to me that I would have to work at this relationship if it was to
remain intact much longer. It reminds me of a quote I like; the author’s name
escapes me just now; but it seems to fit and really does apply to our more
intimate relations with others as well as with our friends. It reads like this:

“A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.”

Disregarding that this is from a conversation between two men, it says it all.
Failure to follow this simple maxim could find one short a friend or lover or
two.

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88 6-SEP-21:42: Open Forum
RE: Complete Honesty (Re: Msg 74)
From: JOHNMYSELF To: CABUYS

I think some else mentioned this already, but even honesty should be indulged in

in moderation. One need not know everything about another, in fact, it might
not even be desirable to do so.

However, having said that let me say this also; In a marriage, if one or the
other partner gets involved in ‘outside’ activity, the amount of information
exchanged (if any) should be based on the following considerations:
If your mate is very to extremely jealous – try not to get caught.
If your relationship has typically been an open one in which few
important secrets are kept between you, then a lack of honesty
might be a signal that you don’t trust your partner to receive
the information without trouble. Of course, there are all kinds of
trouble; but the worst is deceit. I realize that not everyone is open
to the idea of their mate ‘going to bed’ with another person, or even
just ‘going out’ (not necessarily dating) but you could do worse than
not discuss the other relationship. If the initial contact goes well
enough, perhaps there is room for you both to develope a closer
relationship. The other one may or may not continue, but honest
communication is a must here.

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89 6-SEP-21:46: Open Forum
RE: Infidelity (Re: Msg 75)
From: JOHNMYSELF To: CABUYS

Maybe I am a bit simplistic on this one, but I look at infidelity as being a
condition of involvement where the parties have to ‘sneak around’ and/or where
the ‘intruder’ effectively replaces your husband or wife by becoming much more
important to you. Other than that, I don’t think that non-physical involvement
is a bad thing. In fact, it can do wonders for ones sex life.

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90 6-SEP-21:57: Fantasies
RE: Fantasies – What are they? (Re: Msg 21)
From: PRINCESS To: JOEY

I think you are right about wanting fantasies to come true and the possible
outcome if they did. I have made some of my fantasies come true ,with help,
and in about half the cases it was just not as good. I guess it is because
fantasies are more flexible than real life. Oh well. also, we should not be
judged by our fantasies. What one person thinks is ‘weird’ is quite ok to
someone else. viva la difference!!

Peggy

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91 6-SEP-22:03: Fantasies
RE: Fantasies – What are they? (Re: Msg 47)
From: PRINCESS To: DAVIDBR (NR)

David,
as you said, without dreams to reach for … what or where would we be??
bored!!!!! thanks peggy

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92 6-SEP-22:05: Noteworthy News
RE: A Kiss (Re: Msg 50)
From: PRINCESS To: ALL

sounds like kisses have something in them like chocolate …

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93 6-SEP-22:12: Noteworthy News
RE: KISSES (Re: Msg 64)
From: PRINCESS To: RODM

rod,
by putting it that way you could almost spoil the art of kissing by making it
sound clinical , but sok … we understand … I guess I never thought
about it tho I knew there are different types of kisses … all with different
meanings … friendly kiss Peggy

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94 6-SEP-22:19: Open Forum
RE: Complete Honesty (Re: Msg 78)
From: PRINCESS To: KRANKY (NR)

you could be right about moderation … or at least in thinking first whether or

not complete honesty is necessary. for example … in a relationship where one
is somewhat on the heavy side … would you really feel it necessary to tell
them they look ‘too big’ if they asked … just think about whether or not total

honesty is the kindest thing to do … oh well, other examples might be better
… but this one is safest

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95 6-SEP-22:24: Open Forum
RE: Infidelity (Re: Msg 82)
From: PRINCESS To: FSF (NR)

dan … comments … i think hot chats are more enjoyable than magazines
and have found in the past that they can add excitement to my activities at home

… they can certainly give new ideas never thought of before, or be a good
place to try out new ideas … I do not feel it is being unfaithful to engage in

compusex … but also would not indulge if my partner were to
feel it were, or would ask me not to

Peggy

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96 6-SEP-22:29: Open Forum
RE: ‘old married folks’ (Re: Msg 85)
From: PRINCESS To: TJH

just a quick comment thanks for saying what you did … I agree that if a
relationship is based on more than sex then the sexual excitement derives partly

from sharing … sharing between a couple something intimate may not have
anything to do with sex but be as enjoyable … for example sharing the vision
of a sunset or sunrise, or a first experience shared like a first driving lesson

… or horseride … or what I enjoyed with my husband … the births of our 5
children and the last 3 shared more intimately because he was there … Peggy

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97 6-SEP-22:33: Open Forum
RE: ‘old married folks’ (Re: Msg 86)
From: PRINCESS To: JOHNMYSELF

is hard always to show love … and to give attention … we do tend to take
advantage of ones who are always there… and neglect the romantic needs of our
partners … I love you … we are lucky too … I know noone else who is as
understanding as you are … some come close, but noone else knows me as well as

you do … a love letter to a spouse is as important as in any other romantic
relationship folks … or we could always try to remember to give Rod’s “flower”

a day … old married folks … us???

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99 7-SEP-04:23: Open Forum
RE: Complete Honesty (Re: Msg 74)
From: RODM To: CABUYS

I like the idea of complete honesty like you described but am sometimes at a
loss when harm or pain results and at least for me “pain caused becomes a pain
felt”

Some of my need for this strong an openness is a desire and even “drive” to
share every aspect of my life past and present to the exclusion of NOTHING with
my lover

Rod

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100 7-SEP-04:50: Open Forum
RE: Working on Relationships (Re: Msg 73)
From: RODM To: CABUYS

In response to whether a majority of people in this country work on their
relationships? I think they work on them but RARELY hard enough to prevent an
erosion.

As for myself I TRY to direct energy possible toward my relationship and lover

the principle driving force is the greatest possible happiness, pleasure, and
general well being of my partner.

Rod

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101 7-SEP-16:35: Open Forum
RE: Infidelity (Re: Msg 75)
From: RH To: CABUYS

SUBJECT: HOT CHAT: Infidelity?

It seems to me that free, open, close (and sometimes exciting) conversations on-

line) has nothing to do with infidelity. In fact, to me infidelity only On-line

(or even telephone) chats are a wonderful fantasy outlet which can, in fact,
improve a relationship with one’s partner. Even if on-line chat leads to off
line meetings, I think that I think that

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102 7-SEP-19:03: Open Forum
Offense to Womanhood?
From: CABUYS To: ALL

In the Jacksonville area, a large petroleum company posts messages up on a
company headquarters sign. A local female resident opposes the content of these

messages saying they are an offense to womanhood.

“Latest messages she cited included: ‘The most dangerous food is wedding cake.’

‘I like younger girls – their stories are shorter.’ And most recently ‘Goodbye
Elena, you little tramp. You left us warm and damp.’

The resident had reported her complaint once before to the local papers, saying
that the sign that finally clinched her decision was one that said: ‘Woman was
God’s second mistake.'”

The petroleum company employee who composes the signs said: “The only purpose
of the signs is to, hopefully, show a little humor in an otherwise drab life
and, perhaps, shorten the trip home for commuters.”

The complaining resident said ‘it is only serving to shorten her temper. “This
man is making me nervous,” she said.

What is your opinion of the content of these messages?

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102 7-SEP-19:03: Open Forum
Offense to Womanhood?
From: CABUYS To: ALL

In the Jacksonville area, a large petroleum company posts messages up on a
company headquarters sign. A local female resident opposes the content of these

messages saying they are an offense to womanhood.

“Latest messages she cited included: ‘The most dangerous food is wedding cake.’

‘I like younger girls – their stories are shorter.’ And most recently ‘Goodbye
Elena, you little tramp. You left us warm and damp.’

The resident had reported her complaint once before to the local papers, saying
that the sign that finally clinched her decision was one that said: ‘Woman was
God’s second mistake.'”

The petroleum company employee who composes the signs said: “The only purpose
of the signs is to, hopefully, show a little humor in an otherwise drab life
and, perhaps, shorten the trip home for commuters.”

The complaining resident said ‘it is only serving to shorten her temper. “This
man is making me nervous,” she said.

What is your opinion of the content of these messages?

FORUM>
103 7-SEP-19:22: Play Ground
“Cathy” Cartoon
From: CABUYS To: ALL

Altho the “Cathy” cartoon is one of my favorites, I get a kick out of any
cartoon that makes some reference to computers and how they affect our lives.

Today’s “Cathy” and her mom where discussing a friend’s wedding and the lines
read as follows:

Cathy’s Mom: “If this isn’t going to be a weird wedding, why is the maid of
honor wearing a sweatsuit?”

Cath: “Mom, there will be no parachutes, no gurus, no tribal dances, no
chantes….

Cath: …Just a nice normal ceremony in a paste emporium with the bridesmaids
in sweatsuits and many of the guests on the computer screens.”

Cathy’s Mom: “Every generation finds a new way to offend the relatives.”

FORUM>
105 7-SEP-19:25: Play Ground

From: CABUYS To: ALL

What do you call a man who relies on the ‘rhythm’ method of birth control?

DADDY!

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M106-117.DOC

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read 106

106 7-SEP-20:07: Open Forum
RE: Offense to Womanhood? (Re: Msg 102)
From: JOEY To: CABUYS

Connie,

I think this guy is perverted, sexist, and a bad humorist.

Enter FOLLOW for related Message(s).

FORUM>

107 7-SEP-22:44: Play Ground
RE: “Cathy” Cartoon (Re: Msg 103)
From: PETEVO To: CABUYS

MY FAVORITE CARTOON, AS A MEMBER OF THE DATA PROCESSING COMMUNITY, IS “ON THE
FAST TRACK”. THE AUTHOR HAS A GOOD UNDERSTANDING OF HOW THE INFORMATION SYSTEMS
STAFF WORKS (OR DOESN’T) IN A MAJOR ORGANIZATION.

PETE

FORUM>

108 7-SEP-22:55: Open Forum
RE: Infidelity (Re: Msg 75)
From: PETEVO To: CABUYS

AFTER PONDERING THIS TOPIC FOR MINUTES, AND READING ALL THE FOLLOWING MESSAGES,
I’D LIKE TO TAKE A NICE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD POSITION: IT DEPENDS ON IF YOU (THE
PERSON INVOLVED) THINKS IT IS.

NOW THIS MAY SOUND PRETTY WISHY-WASHY, BUT FIRST, I’M NOT A JUDGENENTAL PERSON
(TYPIST EITHER), AND SECOND, SO MUCH OF YOUR VIEWPOINT DEPENDS UPON THE CULTURE
THAT YOU ARE, AND HAVE BEEN, A PART OF.

I HAVE FRIENDS THAT CONSIDER MAGAZINE VIEWING TO BE INFIDELITY, YET I HAVE OTHER

FRIENDS WITH OPEN RELATIONSHIPS WHO DON’T CONSIDER MULTIPLE LOVERS IN ADDTION TO

THEIR SPOUSES, TO BE INFIDELITY.

I THINK A KEY INGREDIENT IN CONSIDERING THIS IS “COMMITTMENT”. IF COMPUSEX OR
WHATEVER BREAKS YOUR COMMITTMENT TO ANOTHER, THEN IT’S PROBABLY INFIDELITY. AT
LEAST THAT’S THE BEST ANALYSIS THAT I CAN COME UP WITH. HOPE YOU FOUND SOME
VALUE IN ALL THESE WORDS.

PETE

Enter FOLLOW for related Message(s).

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109 7-SEP-22:59: Open Forum
RE: Offense to Womanhood? (Re: Msg 102)
From: PETEVO To: CABUYS

WELL, THIS GUY MAY BE A STANDARD DEVIATION OR SO AWAY FROM THE MEAN IN THE
NORMAL DISTRIBUTION OF LIFE, BUT WHILE IN POOR TASTE, THERE ARE CERTAINLY MORE
THINGS THAT I COULD FIND TO GET EXCITED ABOUT.

BESIDES, IT WOULD SEEM TO SHORTEN A COMMUTER’S RIDE HOME AS HE/SHE PONDERED AN
APPROPRIATE RESPONSE. (LAUGHTER OR PREMEDIATED MURDER).

PETE

Enter FOLLOW for related Message(s).

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110 7-SEP-23:06: Open Forum
RE: Complete Honesty (Re: Msg 74)
From: PETEVO To: CABUYS

I BELIEVE IN HONESTY AND WILL ALWAYS ANSWER A QUESTION HONESTLY, (FROM ANYONE).
IF AN HONEST ANSWER CHANGES SOMEONE’S OPINION OF ME, THEN ITS BETTER TO KNOW
THAT INFORMATION SOONER THAN LATER.

I BELIEVE, HOWEVER, IN ANSWERING THE QUESTION ASKED BEARING IN MIND THE
SENSITIVITY OF THE OTHER. THERE ARE MAY WORDS THAT CAN SHAPE THE TRUTH INTO
SOMETHING HARD OR SOFT. I ALWAYS TRY TO BE SPECIFIC, YET GENTLE.

ONE MOTTO I USE WHEN SEEKING INFORMATION FROM OTHERS IS “DON’T ASK QUESTIONS YOU

DON’T WANT THE ANSWERS TO!”

PETE

FORUM>

111 7-SEP-23:19: Open Forum
RE: Working on Relationships (Re: Msg 73)
From: PETEVO To: CABUYS

AFTER CAREFUL DELIBERATION ON ALL OF THE FOLLOWING MESSAGES, I GUESS I AM IN
GENERAL AGREEMENT WITH THE SENTIMENT EXPRESSED.

RELATIONSHIPS (REAL, LONG-TERM ONES) DON’T JUST HAPPEN. SHORT ONES, MAYBE.
THERE MUST BE SOME COMMON GROUND BASIS FOR A RELATIONSHIP. THIS COMMON GROUND
MUST BE CULTIVATED, WEEDED, FERTILIZED, AND SEEDED WITH NEW INTERESTS OR T HE
GROUND AND ALL THERE GETS HARD AND BARREN.

AN EASY TASK!! IN ADDITION, DEPENDING ON THE PEOPLE INVOLVED THIS CAN BE A
FULL-TIME JOB. IT DEPENDS ON THE NEEDS OF EACH PERSON.

IN MY OWN PERSONAL CASE, I DON’T REQUIRE MUCH FROM A RELATIONSHIP; I’M BASICALLY

INDEPENDENT, I GUESS (OR MAYBE JUST HARDENED). I HAVE A NUMBER OF FRIENDS, BUT
NO REAL RELATIONSHIPS. I JUST CANNOT SPEND THE AMOUNT OF ENERGY NEEDED TO TURN
A FRIENDSHIP INTO A RELATIONSHIP. AFTER LONG ANALYSIS, I THINK THIS MAY BE DUE
TO THE R ATHER DEMANDING NATURE OF MY FRIENDS.

MY RELATIONSHIPS TO DATE, HAVE GONE FOR A WHILE THEN INTERESTS CHANGED, WE
DIDN’T WANT TO PLANT THE SAME CROPS ON THE COMMON GROUND, AND THE RELATIONSHIPS
FIZZLED.

THIS EXPLANATION OF MY LIFE IS MUCH TOO SIMPLISTIC TO GIVE YOU A FAIR IMPRESSION

OF ME–CONSIDER IT JUST A SMALL INSIGHT.

SOMEDAY, IF YOU HAVE LOTS OF TIME, I’LL EXPLAIN MY VIEW OF RELATIONSHIPS AND
PEOPLE AS SHAPES IN A SPACIAL UNIVERSE. A GOOD BEDTIME STORY (BORING, THAT IS)
TO BE SURE.

PETE

FORUM>

112 7-SEP-23:34: Open Forum
RE: Offense to Womanhood? (Re: Msg 102)
From: RODM To: CABUYS

I have to say that, judgeing by the comments given that the only person with a
problem in this case is the woman doing all the complaining and frankly she
seems to be creating the negative image of womanhood in HER mind. In fact the
comment about the wedding cake was neutral as to gender and she seems to have
decided in her own mind who is greatest at risk by a wedding cake!

Enter FOLLOW for related Message(s).

FORUM>

113 7-SEP-23:39: Open Forum
THE WEEKLY CONFERENCE
From: PETEVO To: CABUYS

WHAT A BUNCH OF PARTY-POOPERS! I FINALLY GET A SATURDAY TO BOOGIE WITH YOU
CRAZY GUYS AND YOU ALL TURN IN EARLY, JUST BECAUSE NO ONE’S ON.

NOW I WILL CONCEDE THAT I TRIED TO GET ONTO DELPHI FROM 8:15CDT UNTIL 9:00 CDT
AND GOT “MAX USERS ON” MESSAGES, AND PRESUMABLY SO DID ANYONE ELSE WHO TRIED TO
GET ON, BUT HEY(!) I’M A PARTY ANIMAL, I KEP TRYI T TRYING.

SO LIKE, YA KNOW, I HADDA READ ALL THE FORUM MESSAGES, AND I WAS LIKE 40 BEHIND
SO WOW AM I CAUGHT UP NOW, OR WHAT!? EVEN THO ITS 90 HERE BY MY COMPUTER AND
THE DEW POINT IS 80, I STUCK IT OUT, SWEAT DRIPPING INTO THE KEYBOARD AND
EVERYTHING (WHAT A MARTYR, HUH. . .MAYBE NOT–MARTYRS DIE!!).

WELL, I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A GOOD WEEK, AND YA KNOW KEEP COOL AND ALL THAT. I’M
OUTTA TOWN NEXT SAT, AND DOING A HOME IMPROVEMENT FOR A FRIEND THE 21ST, AND I
GOT PROGRAMS LEFT TO DEBUG TONIGHT, SO I GUESS I’LL JUST BE SEEING ALL YOU
LADIES
AND GENTS. . . .

PETE

FORUM>

114 8-SEP-07:19: Open Forum
RE: Offense to Womanhood? (Re: Msg 102)
From: JOHNP To: CABUYS

I think those messages have absolutely no place on a public sign. They make me

wonder what the company owners are thinking.

Some things are better left distributed/shared among those who are known to want

to see or hear them.

FORUM>

115 8-SEP-12:33: Open Forum
RE: Infidelity (Re: Msg 75)
From: GUSTAVE To: ALL

This has to do with the posts on honesty, infidelity and working on
relationships. It’s less than a printed page long, but I hope you’ll take the
time. Please read this with an ear towards personal relationships – this is no
great moral treatise, but rather the lesson of the past year or so. It is
personal and above all, an opinion which may or may not hold for others. I am
greatful for your comments and additions.

I’ve come to realize recently that honesty is the only way to go in a
relationship that is based on Love. I’m not speaking of other things, of mutual

casual sex, open marriages, etc., but of a commitment that is based on a
professed love for the other person.

My former lover, it turns out, had three other lovers while professing her
“eternal” love for me and even speaking of marriage. I at times thought
something else was going on, and when asked, she denied everything vehemently.
I am a gentle person, and she could not have felt any danger from admission of
what was going on. Add to this the fact of her outrage at such things as my
innocent dinners with old female college friends and professional work with
other females, it was all quite a shock.

No matter how liberated we may claim to be, infidelity hurts. Maybe a little,
maybe a lot, but in some way, it hurts. The honest revelation of infidelity is
the best way to deal with it. As every liar learns, sooner or later people will

be found out. We all have an uncanny ability to leave fresh tracks despite our
best conscious efforts to deceive.

Personally, I would rather have infidelity admitted and dealt with. It may
develop into many things; a lifestyle, a lesson, an experiment; but it is better

dealt with and resolved. Deceit becomes chronic — especially if it is
initially successful. It is a wound which may fester if not treated, and can
become the basis for one’s dealing with another. And then it’s no longer a
loving relationship, but a constant engineering of actions to maintain what one
is unwilling to resolve. Infidelity may be a single urge – an understandable
return to our more basic drives (marriage is, after all, a social institution –
a vow – designed to keep us honest, for no primate is monogamous) but unresolved

dishonesty becomes part of everyday life and can change us in ways we never
thought possible.

You need not fear a true lover. Someone who really loves you will forgive your
indiscretions.

I read a helpful book recently: “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?”
by Jordan & Margaret Paul. It runs on the premise that successful relationships

are besed on openness and honesty – that growth cannot take place when people
are closed to change and adaptation – and provides a set of working explanations

on how to keep relationships open, growing and honest.

I hope that this provides some basis for some more insights on these topics.

Thanks for listening!

FORUM>

116 8-SEP-13:43: Open Forum
msg 102
From: MADONNA To: CABUYS

I think it is only fair for the signs o give both genders equal time. The
wedding cake comment, as Rod pointed out, could be directed at either sex–and
that’s the way I initially interpreted it.

Enter FOLLOW for related Message(s).

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117 8-SEP-15:54: Open Forum
RE: msg 102 (Re: Msg 116)
From: RODM To: CABUYS

I should finish my comments from before which I had to cut short!

I still hold that the woman making has the deeper of the problems but I must
also say that anyone that deals with public relations or advertising should know

better than make comments of bad taste and some of those ads seem to be in bad
taste!

In summary I think the woman has an attitude problem and the ad person is just
not qualified for the responsibility he has in advertising!

I can’t imagine someone telling those kind of jokes to a client and in this case

the public is the client.

There is adult humor or special humor that is VERY funny in the right setting
but is rude and in poor taste in the wrong setting!

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