A summary for those that haven’t been keeping up with this series:
I found a number of 5.25″ disks at a thrift store a number of years ago (we are talking late 1990s probably). I finally got around to acquiring a 5.25″ disk drive and extracting the contents a several years back. Since then, I have been occasionally posting the content here.
Based on the contents, at least some of these disks were apparently once owned by someone named Connie who used to run the “Close Encounters” Special Interest Group (SIG) on Delphi in the mid 1980s.
A description of this SIG was found in a document on one of the disks: “This SIG, known as ‘Close Encounters’, is a forum for the discussion of relationships that develop via computer services like the Source, CompuServe, and Delphi. Our primary emphasis is on the sexual aspects of those relationships.”
This service was text based and was accessed via whatever terminal program you used on your computer to dial in to Delphi’s servers. Many of these disks have forum messages, e-mails and chat session logs. All of this is pre-internet stuff and I don’t know if there are any archives in existence today of what was on Delphi in the 1980s. In any case, much of this stuff would have been private at the time and probably wouldn’t be in such archives even if they existed.
This post includes the contents of WHYONLIN.DOC. This appears to have been a capture of a group conference (online chat) nominally about why people go online. As most online chats do, it tends to wander some. Also, given the nature of the Close Encounters group that this chat was held in, reasons tended to be about relationships. The file has a date stamp of September 17th, 1985 so that is probably when this chat occurred.
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WHYONLIN.DOC
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** Conference of 9/14/85 - Topic: "WHY DO YOU COME ON-LINE?"
** Beth just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (2 members now) **
** Connie just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (3 members now) **
** EFK just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (4 members now) **
EFK> Do you usually stick to the topic in this conference?
Myself> well, once we get started.
Myself> we try to hold close to the original topic
Myself> but have been known to stray
EFK> Sounds good.
Myself> if the general discussion moves in another direction which
generates a better discussion.
Myself> well, lets see what we can do
EFK> I'm used to main conf. It can be a zoo.
Myself> I think this tymnet thing is going to keep attendance down.
Myself> well, that is the nice thing about here..
EFK> Been going on for weeks! Aren't they working on it?
Myself> less congestion. more conversation.
Myself> that is what they say they are doing.
Myself> but I don't see any results yet.
EFK> Talk is cheap.
Myself> agreed.
Myself> ok
Myself> lets start this conference....
EFK> I've been curious about something for a long time John...
Myself> yes? what is that?
EFK> Why do you call yourself myself?
** STUART just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (5 members now) **
Connie> <oh - oh!><giggle> you've done it now!
EFK> Hi Stuart.
Myself> well I am <after all> Myself ... but seriously...
EFK> yes?
Myself> I picked it up on another system
Connie> hello Stuart.
Myself> and just kept it.
Beth> Hi Stuart
EFK> Just be yourself. Is that it?
Myself> you see, my name is john <hence johnmyself> and you know how
many of those there are.
Myself> bingo.
EFK> Ok.
Beth> {I always wondered, too}
Myself> now for the subject at hand...
Myself> <it also lends nicely to such comments as "well, here we are again, talking myself">
Myself> why do you come on-line?
Myself> and a very good question as there
Myself> are as many reasons (or excuses) as there are people
getting on-line
** Paul just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (6 members now) **
Paul> hi, all
EFK> Hi.
Connie> <hi paul!>
Beth> [hi Paul]
** PRINCESS just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (7 members now) **
PRINCESS> hi all
EFK> Hi Princess.
Myself> hi princess...
Paul> hi, princess
Peggy hi efk
Myself> anyway...
Myself> some folks come on-line for the various information sources
that they can access
Beth> [hi princess]
Myself> for anything from school reports to business information.
Peggy> cute profile efk <grin>
Myself> others come on looking for 'the fast scene' what with the
ratio of males to females and all.
EFK> Some of us find the fast scene without looking for it too.
Myself> some are here for 'free' computer programs, and others
actually
Peggy hear hear!!
STUART> - signed off -
Myself> try to use these various services to move pirated stuff.
EFK> Not much to steal on Delfi, though.
Myself> true
Myself> which brings us to the question
Myself> Why do you come on-line.
Myself> ga
** Dick just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (7 members now) **
Peggy> hi dick, welcome to why??
EFK> Hi Dick.
** STUART just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (8 members now) **
Connie> hiya Dick.
EFK> Booted off, Stu?
Dick> hi all.
Peggy> rehi stuart
STUART> the system isnt working right
Paul> hi Stuart, Dick
STUART> better neo
Myself> lo dick
Dick> hi John.
Dick> Hi Beth
Beth> Hi Dick
Paul> Hi Beth
Beth> Hi Paul
Myself> any comments?
Peggy> stu send us some california heat ... boston is cooooold
tonight
Dick> same here.
Peggy> to keep in touch with friends via dmail
EFK> To talk to Delphi friends.
Dick> what was question?
Paul> I come on-line because I'm a SIG Manager and Delphi would get
really bummed if I never showed up!
Peggy> check title of group dick <smile>
Myself> <dick =>> why do u come on-line - conference topic>
Peggy> grin paul
Myself> good point paul.
Beth> ?
Connie> Paul, they'd just cancel your sig! <grin>
Dick> I share Paul's reasons <grin>
EFK> I thought it was pretty funny.
Myself> personally I come on-line just because.
Myself> beth ga
Beth> I come online because of the people...
Beth> I live in a small town, and if you've ever lived in a small
southern town, you'd know exactly what I mean.
Beth> The people here are some of the finest on earth. ga
Dick> smaller than Charlotte, NC
EFK> It's very important to like where you live.
Connie> ?
Beth> [yes, Dick]
Myself> <connie>
Myself> connie ga
Beth> [I know, efk..can cause lots of problems if not]
Peggy <can get used to anywhere>
Connie> I come on line because of the people too. They are
fascinating <and sometimes frustrating!> but where else can
you go to meet and chat with people from all walks of life in
so many areas of the world for such little expense!
EFK> I come on line for different reasons each time.
Peggy> <and no drinks to buy?>
STUART> perrier and a twist
EFK> For a couple of months it was like a drug.
Dick> <or expensive dinners>
Paul> I wasn't sure it was such little expense about a year ago,
Connie, when my bill was ovr $500/month!
EFK> Ditto.
Myself> hear hear!!
Connie> I was never able to talk in what I felt was an "intelligent"
way to people in so many varied professions. Being on line
has helped me to gain confidence in dealing with people, in
talking to them, and most importantly, in realizing they are
all people - not something to fear.ga.
Dick> here,here!
Peggy <there there!>
STUART> wasnt from you paul<laugh>
Peggy <ditto connie>
Beth> Me, too, Connie.
Myself> getting on-line can certainly be fun...
Paul> huh, Stuart? <innocent grin>
Myself> I recall when I first got involved in some interesting
Peggy <ha! you innocent paul? - grin>
Myself> message threads...
Paul> as little as possible, princess!
Myself> i would start out by answering a few messages..
Peggy <right>
Myself> then I would usually get up to 15 responses which over the
course of a week would gradually dwindle away to zip.
Peggy> brb forgot to get my sweater ... brrrrr
Myself> then I discovered that people could actually get 'close' this
way. what a change that made in life here.
EFK> Anything specific?
Myself> lots of specific...
Myself> first I discovered new friends..
Myself> then new problems..
Myself> then I discovered <careful now=>...
Myself> compusex!
Peggy> **back**
Myself> I found that with a little thought, one could weave some very
interesting 'spells'
EFK> ?
Myself> <looks good peg>
STUART> back?
Myself> efk ga
EFK> Control R not working. Bummer!
frozen princess> as in i am back
STUART> we missed you
frozen princess> <sure!! <giggle>>
Paul> compusex? <innocently>
frozen princess> nothing you would know about paul
Paul> I'm afraid not, frozen!
Myself> not to you beth
Myself> anyway, ef - your on.
EFK> Like I said, I come on-line for different reasons.
STUART> are sends working?
EFK> Mostly to talk to people I've met here.
Peggy <sen is working one way mostly tho i can sen to john or direct line folks>
EFK> Couldn't send to stuart.
STUART> not to uninet?
Myself> no
Peggy> no not to uninet or anyone else
EFK> Boo hiss!
Peggy> i cannot sen to anyone else not local
Dick> Beth> your mail request has been honored.
Myself> ef, what do you find most attractive to being on-line?
Myself> <lousy wording - oh well>
Peggy <interesting>
EFK> I like meeting people on-line. You can take it as far as you
want.
Myself> or drop it anywhere enroute.
EFK> I've had some very interesting talks with people.
EFK> Some people are just so witty, it's amazing.
Peggy> hey, some of us got it and some of us dont <grin>
EFK> Also, you can see puns in words on the screen that you wouldn't
see when you talk in person.
EFK> That's a lot of fun.
STUART> very punny
Peggy> you can take longer to see them too
EFK> Exactly.
Peggy> boo stu
EFK> These are the jokes.
STUART> 2-4-6-8
Peggy> they are?? <innocent look>
Peggy> <grin>
Myself> no we don't appreciate!
Peggy> racey
STUART> pru-dish
Peggy> is that us who are the jokes.
Myself> terrible.
Myself> meanwhile...
EFK> yes?
Peggy> not us we are not prudish ... but top of the town folks here
Paul> (please let me know when the racy parts are coming so I can
cover my screen)
Myself> now that you are on-line......
STUART> beautiful view
Peggy> ha paul
Myself> have you any favorite people or places?
EFK> Sure. Don't we all?
STUART> sure
Myself> of course, how silly of me to ask
Beth> Yes!
STUART> I love Dallas and Kansas City
Myself> i love women!
Beth> [I thought you meant on-line]
Myself> some more than others.
EFK> How generous, Johm.
Connie> {my favorite place & people: this sig and the people in
it!} [but then I *might* be a little bit prejudice!] <grin>
Myself> i did mean on-line.
Myself> that was the reason for my dumb remark.
dorothy> no place like home
EFK> There aren't a lot of women on-line, though.
Peggy> brb
Myself> dallas and kansas city don't fit the question as valid
answers.
Myself> hi dorothy, how's toto?
Peggy> not so myself, there are folks there who use computers
EFK> Seems to be pretty balanced in this sig, though.
Peggy> are some women, just more men have computers, brb must get
something ...
Myself> I suppose you have a point there peg,
Myself> hadn't thought of it that way.
EFK> Finally had to get 2 computers to solve *that* problem.
Myself> really?
EFK> Yep.
EFK> But I got the modem!
Myself> I had to get two phone lines as I couldn't get incoming calls
while on-line
EFK> That's next.
Paul> want someone to call you, John?
Beth> /who
Paul> /me
Connie> what do you want to call him, Paul?
EFK> /me too
Beth> /oops
EFK> Just don't call him late for dinner.
Paul> /Don't know, Connie, any suggestions?
Myself> not yet paul
Peggy <here i am, back again ...>
Myself> why, you want to 'show your wife some fun'? <ducking quick>
STUART> we missed you again
Peggy> <paul, that is his name!>
EFK> Hi again Peggy.
Peggy> not so ... hi again all ... did i miss much? <saw screen upstairs grin>
Paul> <i know that, princess!>
STUART> how do you know paul?
Myself> those pesky gremlins are in my keyboard again.
Peggy> you do paul?? were you looking?? <hiding behind screen> ...
like my ski sweater?? <grin>
EFK> Has anyone besides me felt the magnetic pull of the terminal?
Paul> spray the keyboard with Raid.
Myself> always ef
Beth> yes, ef
Myself> but I have a fairly high resistance.
EFK> It's a little scary, isn't it?
Paul> good question - have you ever put a magnet right on your
screen? It's neat!
Myself> I am alergic to high bills.
Beth> and expensive
Myself> am also alergic to low bills
Peggy> yes efk, can be hard to take yourself away, was terribly
addicted to it at one time, used to sneak on ...
EFK> Some people are worth the expense.
Myself> and late bills
Myself> and unpaid bills.
Myself> etc.
Myself> I agree.
EFK> Right, Peggy.
Beth> that is true, ef
Connie> EF, I was once very addicted to all this! it should be scary!
EFK> I never felt anything else that was quite like it.
Beth> how long does it take for the addiction to get under
control--on the average?
Peggy> very true efk especially if the only way to keep in touch is
by keyboard ...
Myself> never on average.
Dick> nite all, got to go to work, mail waiting, enjoy <connie, agape>
EFK> It's like love. It doesn't just go away like a headache or
something.
Dick> - signed off -
Beth> most of you have said you were addicted--do you now have it
under control or what
Peggy> get a few bills, and get to know the people offline, those
both help! <but to be honest the second is real thing>
Myself> but if you really want to, and sometimes if you have trusted
friends, you can
Connie> Beth, not sure about others, but took nme nearly 5 years. in
other words, addiction only came under control around the
first of this year.
Paul> It takes until they threaten to take away your house for unpaid
bills, Beth!
Myself> but there is no hard data on the response time..
Peggy> hehehe paul
Beth> [faint]
EFK> Wow. I'm glad it didn't take me that long.
Beth> how long, ef?
Peggy> shucks
EFK> How long what?
Beth> you said it didn't take you "that long".
Peggy> did it take you?
STUART> shucks?
EFK> A few months.
Peggy> <wanted to say nite dick>
Myself> It took me till my first cis bill.
EFK> I still come on a lot, but not every night.
Paul> it means 'ah, gee', stuart.
Peggy> hehehe
STUART> question of priorities EFK and balance in life
Myself> sure paul
Connie> Beth, price of addiction can be very high. I know of
bankruptcies, divorces, etc. due in a large part to the
addiction.
EFK> Delphi was very high priority for a while.
Myself> that is also true
Myself> well, you can understand though..
Myself> especially when there is so much attention you can get from
others.
EFK> Divorce was almost a possibility, believe it or not, but not
because of the bills.
Myself> too much on-line time to exclusion of family ef?
EFK> Sorta.
Peggy <bills usually is not reason when dealing with computer ... other relationships that ensue>
Myself> right!
Myself> those new and often exciting adventures we call 'other
relationships'
Myself> can work wonders for the domestic scene...
Myself> but can also wreck havoc there as well
EFK> Falling in love is very exciting in the beginning. I love my
husband for life, but you know how the magic can dissipate over
the years.
Peggy> so who needs a havoc anyway?
STUART> there can be other relationships everywhere--at work,after
work,etc
Myself> true
Myself> <cute peg>
Peggy> needs replenishing efk ... is hard to do ...
EFK> Managed, thank goodness.
Myself> especially if you fall into the usual trap of
Peggy> good, am glad for you ... honest
EFK> But not before I almost lost it.
Myself> just letting things go on in 'the usual way' and don't
Beth> what happens if you meet people on-line who you'd like to get
to know, to hear their voice...would you write? call? Out of
the blue or what? Does this happen often?
Myself> keep up on the relationship.
Peggy <so common ... sigh but can be handled if with love>
Myself> is easy to take others for granted.
EFK> I don't know if it happens often, but it happened to me.
Myself> actually beth it happens quite frequently.
Myself> and is a natural extension of getting to know them.
EFK> I'll tell you all something...
EFK> If you're happily married, and let's say your eyes meet
someone's across the room...
EFK> If you're like me, you'd probably look away.
Peggy <strangers in the night ...>
EFK> But on-line, you just *can't*!!
Myself> right
Beth> [yes, but I'd rather not sometimes]
STUART> you cant see their eyes
Myself> and there is a god reason for that...
EFK> Funny that paul said before he'd cover the screen!
Peggy> can ctrl z, but hardly would in some cases
EFK> Not really a possibility.
Paul> (I embarrass easily, princess)
EFK> One thing leads to another, and some "innocent" flirting gets
carried away.
Myself> it is the fact that here, at my terminal, you at yours, we are
safe <relatively speaking>
Myself> or so we think.
STUART> Its been great tonite--have to run--catch you all
later--adios
STUART> - signed off -
EFK> Bye stu. Nice meeting you.
Beth> ["or so we think"--how true]
Myself> because it is here in this 'haven' where we can most easily
be open with others.
Paul> woops, that was to efk! (sorry)
Myself> and that allows for getting close to them
Beth> I have never been so closed or so open here
EFK> Tell you something else. I'm much more careful now.
Peggy> sok paul, gotta check something all, adios
Peggy - signed off -
Paul> bye!
Paul> about what, wf?
Paul> (ef)
EFK> "idle" flirting.
Myself> true
EFK> One of my favorite lines from Star Trek:
Paul> I think idle flirting is fun. Serious flirting might be
something else, tho.
EFK> Fool me once, shame on me.
** Peggy just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (6 members now) **
EFK> Fool me twice, Anyway...
Peggy> just a quickie, going off line now all, take care and seeya
another time
EFK> Bye.
Peggy> nite all and hugs
Paul> night!
Peggy> - signed off -
Myself> quote runs like this - fool me once - shame on you - twice,
shame on me.
EFK> right.
Paul> true.
EFK> Gotta be more careful. It's good for us.
Paul> wanna flirt, ef? <grin>
Myself> but it is also good to get to know folks better here
EFK> Yes, flirting can be fun, and falling in love can be fun, but
you have to decide what's valuable vs. what's just attractive.
Myself> it helps break down those walls we refer to as prejudice.
Myself> you cannot judge from appearances, or voice tone, or any of
the usual things
** JOEY just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (6 members now) **
Myself> which people use to categorize others.
EFK> What do you mean John?
JOEY> Hello
Connie> hi Joey!
EFK> Hi Joey!
Beth> [hi joey!]
Myself> hi joey.
Paul> hi there, joey.
Myself> well like, lets say you meet this interesting person...
JOEY> Sorry I'm late. Node was down.
EFK> Node good.
** SCHONBERGER just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (7 members now) **
Myself> you develope a feel for him or her as the case may be..
JOEY> Hi stever.
Myself> and maybe even an image.
Connie> hello Steve!
JOEY> - signed off -
Myself> but you don't look at the screen and say this person is big,
small, chinese, black or whatever..
** JOEY just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (7 members now) **
Myself> people are just people!
JOEY> grrrrrr
Myself> nothing more or less.
EFK> bzzzzzzzzzzzz
Myself> and by the same token, you are also not being judged.
Myself> this is one place where people can be accepted without the
usual judgements.
EFK> I understand all that, John, but if you're the kind of person to
whom appearance isn't that important....
EFK> then you're meeting someone's SOUL here.
Connie> gotta run - seeya later, everyone!
Connie> - signed off -
Paul> bye, connie!
JOEY> Nite, Conie
EFK> There's something very strange here.
Beth> Yes, ef, you've got a point there: soul. This medium is almost
like telepathy.
Myself> either way. makes no real difference since you are
contacting people
EFK> It's so easy to be open.
Steve> - signed off -
Myself> whom you might or might not otherwise try to meet in the
face to face type situation.
** tim just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (6 members now) **
Myself> <hi all you new arrivals>
EFK> Hi Tim.
Tim> Hello everyone
JOEY> - signed off -
Myself> yes, it is so easy to be open here that many first timers are
truely amazed at the pace with which new and 'close' friends
can be made.
EFK> I walked right into that one.
Tim> Si!
** SCHONBERGER just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (6 members now) **
Myself> indeed.
Tim> (emphatic french)
EFK> Rehi steve.
Steve> back after uninet freezeup
EFK> That's what I meant about being more careful now.
Steve> (aaaarrrgh!)
Myself> exactly.
Tim> There's a certain safety behind the keyboard, if that's what u
mean, myself
Myself> steve==>weather is cold here too. <grin>
EFK> That's what *you* think.
Steve> hehehee john
Myself> the feeling of safety is illusion at best tim.
Tim> You have time to think out what u are saying
Steve> im demonstrating for a local friend... what a start, a
freezup...
Beth> It is as if all the negative traits are stripped away from a
person "on-line", and you are, in fact, looking at the "soul"
ef mentioned.
Paul> well, got to go, folks. See you all later.
EFK> Right, John. It takes concerted effort not to fall into the
trap.
Myself> since you may find yourself telling more than you would have
wanted to without realizing it.
Myself> night paul
Myself> thanx for dropping in
EFK> Bye Paul. Nice meeting you.
Steve> has tiglon been on tonight?
Paul> nice meeting you, ef!
Beth> Bye Paul
EFK> Not yet.
Tim> I just think that psychologically, thjere is a safety about not
seeing the person you are talking with
Myself> haven't seen her yet
Paul> - signed off -
Steve> she ussually on later, eh?
EFK> Unless you want to, that is.
Myself> there is tim, no doubt, but therein lies the potential for
both good friendships and troublses
Tim> boy, that came out a lot more garbled on the boundeback
Beth> so how do you become more careful and avoid "the trap", ef?
EFK> And a lot of hurt.
Myself> <tim - sok, you got your point out>
Beth> **brb**
** JOEY just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (6 members now) **
JOEY> grumble.....
EFK> (A) don't flirt, (B) don't start what you can't finish.
Myself> excellent advice
EFK> Hi again, Joe.
JOEY> Hi liz. What is the multiple choice?
EFK> How to stay out of trouble on Delphi.
Myself> not multiple choice
Myself> two bits of advice.
EFK> Multiple guess?
JOEY> hmmm, could be..
EFK> How do You stay out of trouble, joe <grin>?
JOEY> Here lately, I don;t.
Tim> Well, flirting here has its same hazards as in real life
Myself> the best advice is to watch what kind of meanings can be
implied by what you say.
EFK> I'm too direct, I'm afraid.
Myself> and then be careful about how you do to avoid
mis-interpretation.
Myself> not at all ef.
Myself> your doing just fine. thank you.
Beth> **back*
Steve> hi again beth
EFK> My husband's advice is don't meet the people face to face, but he's prejudiced <grin>
Myself> actually there is nothing wrong with flirting....
Myself> to a point.
EFK> What point?
Myself> but defining that point is not always an easy task.
EFK> One false step, and it's all over.
Myself> basically, you have to be sure in yourself just what you want
to do, how far to go, and
Myself> how serious you want to get. draw a line there and don't
cross it.
EFK> Some of us had to find that out the hard way.
Tim> You have to be sensitive to how the other person is receiving
the flirting,..
Myself> most of us actually.
Steve> what can you folks tell my friend who is here watching also
about this stuff?
EFK> Hooray.
Tim> and that is what is difficult on-line when you have less clues
Myself> true tim.
Myself> steve==>> like anything in particular??
Tim> They may be taking u more seriously than u intend
Myself> that is true.
JOEY> True, Tim.
Tim> or less
EFK> Yeah, but you can also be on the same wavelength.
Steve> (sorry to interrupt serious discussion...have to keep demo
$hort
Myself> no problem steve..
EFK> Well, you can't demonstrate send.
EFK> Not working.
JOEY> Right, Liz. grrrrr
Steve> efk... i noticed that... thing seems to be buggy again
Myself> there is a lot to be learned and experienced on-line....
Tim> Send not working on whole system?
Myself> in part anyway tim;
EFK> Joe: Thanks for the super mail. VHS?
Beth> I have learned so much about myself since I've been on-line;
and I think I have learned quiet a bit about human nature.
JOEY> My part never works, John
Myself> just be aware that the message you send to another in this
medium...
Myself> is not guaranteed to be the one they receive.
EFK> What do you mean, My?
Myself> in line with our previous comments......especially as
regards how seriously they might take you.
EFK> Oh, I thought you meant technical trouble.
Tim> Yes, not having body language and facial language clues makes a
difference
Myself> no, just continuing along previous lines.
Steve> well, gotta go now...nice seeing you aall once again (finally
the system works when i try to log on...)
Tim> you just get text
Myself> for example <here's where i start eating my feet>
JOEY> Nite, Steve.
Myself> nite steve
JOEY> Yuk.
Steve> - signed off -
Myself> suppose I were to 'come on' to you ef, and was just
interested in a little harmless fun...
Myself> but you thought I meant something else and got either upset
or started to take me more seriously than I had intended.
EFK> Wouldn't you know before it went that far?
Myself> that's what I mean about the message not being the same
received as sent.
Myself> maybe, maybe not.
Tim> I guess you have to work harder at conveying meaning in words,
then
EFK> Someone once sent me mail asking if I were married & did I want
to flirt.
Myself> it is amazing to me
Tim> than if it was face to face
EFK> I didn't answer, that's all.
Beth> That happens off-line, too, Myself; so I can imagine how much
easier mixed signals could happen here.
JOEY> ssshhhh, Liz
Myself> how dense I can be when i think it is all so clear 'to me'.
** SASSY just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (6 members now) **
EFK> What'd I do?
JOEY> You weren't supposed to tell anybody.
JOEY> Hi Sassy.
SASSY> HI
EFK> It wasn't you, silly!
Myself> hi sass
EFK> Hi sass.
Beth> Hi Sassy
JOEY> It wasn't?
EFK> no!
JOEY> Shucks.
EFK> You never asked!
Myself> huh??
EFK> <giggle>
Beth> i did: huh??
JOEY> ahem.
Beth> i bid
EFK> We're playing old Beatle records here. It's WONDERFUL!
JOEY> I am jealous, Liz.
Myself> i stepped on an old beatle once.
EFK> Keep offa my records!
Myself> probably not the same as the ones ur listening too.
Beth> makes an awful crunch, doesn't it, MYself?
Myself> well, it had stepped on me first.
Tim> well, mccartney ususally lets out a loud squeal
SASSY> WHATS UP GOYS?
JOEY> Not me.
Beth> wonder if the bugs in delphi belong to the beatle family?
Myself> we were just talking about being on-line and why we do it.
SASSY> OPPS THAT SHOULD READ GUYS
JOEY> Cockroach family.
Myself> i doubt it very much beth.
Myself> more likely related to gremlins.
Beth> (smile) No doubt.
** Connie just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (7 members now) **
Tim> Well, I come on line to meet all these wonderful people,...
Myself> hi connie - wlcm bck
JOEY> rehi connie.
Connie> Hi again everyone.
Myself> <where are they? <grin> >
Tim> so i can be depressed when I realize I'll probably never meet
them in reallife
Myself> ok
Myself> to each his/her own
Tim> (grin)
EFK> If you say so, Tim.
Beth> [hi connie!]
Myself> actually, there is considerable probability that you will
meet at least
EFK> Rehi Connie.
Myself> one on-line friend face to face in the for-seeable future.
SASSY> NO WONDER YOU NEVER MEET ANYONE LIVING IN KANAS..
Myself> right
EFK> for see-able. I like that.
Tim> no one else lives in kansas, i think!
JOEY> So
Myself> but if you've seen the 'Wizard' you have met the people of
kansas <ducking behind door>
EFK> I fantasize a big Delphi party where we all get together.
Tim> and logs onto delphi, anyway
JOEY> Sometimes, you have better friends here than offline.
Connie> EF, we have a poll question about such a possibility!
Beth> Kansas; the land of ahhs
EFK> We'd probably never go home!
Myself> true there joey
SYLVIA> WELL I HAVE THE POOL AND SPA.. LETS PLAN ONE
EFK> First night in this sig. Will check it out.
Tim> Anyone else here from Kansas anyway?
Myself> ef==>>no doubt i spelled it wrong but sok.
Myself> where u at sylvia?
Tim> Where is everyone from?
SYLVIA> NEAR LA
EFK> NYC
JOEY> Louisiana
Connie> Jacksonville, Fl.
Myself> i never heard of alta loma - where is it?
SYLVIA> ABOUT 50 MILES EAST OF LA
Tim> Well, I've definitely met at least one person on-line that..
Myself> bet your belly is in good shape <grin>
Tim> has made me consider scheduling a vaction to a faraway place
JOEY> You too tim?
EFK> My cousin Richard lives in Alta Loma.
Myself> I have been to a faraway place and the next time i go there i
refuse to
SYLVIA> EYS IT CAN FLIP QUARTERS.. TRY IT SOMETIME
Myself> set up any more computer equipment so i can properly enjoy it
all.
JOEY> Talented stomach.
Beth> so being on-line can follow one, eh?
Connie> <no comment, john!>
SYLVIA> SO COME TO ALTA LOMA AND WE'LL HAVE THE PARTY HALF
STARTED
Myself> mine just sorta hangs there sylvia, but I'd be willing to
watch a demo.
Tim> And I've heard of several stories of people marrying after
meeting on-line
EFK> Not this year, Syl.
EFK> The stories are pretty well documented.
Myself> right, this year is out
SYLVIA> OH WELL NO PARTY SPIRT HUH
EFK> Going to Florida (yuk)
JOEY> Spirit is there. Money is not.
Myself> bad year for partying.
EFK> No offense, Connie
JOEY> Florida?
Connie> why yuk, EF?
EFK> Actually, I just didn't like Miami.
EFK> Going to Orlando this time.
JOEY> Oh, I hate Miami.
EFK> Early November.
Tim> Am I in heaven, or am i in miami?
EFK> I hate it more.
Connie> Miami isn't part of Florida anymore! <grin>
Tim> (martin mull tune)
Connie> Orlando is great!
Myself> right
EFK> Thanks Con!
JOEY> I don't blame you Connie.
JOEY> I spent a year in Miami one week.
EFK> When you gotta go, you gotta go!
Connie> you see, we were trying to finish this Cross Florida Barge
Canal so we could make that part of the state an island!
<grin>
EFK> Great one Joe!
EFK> Joey: 10
JOEY> <bowing>
Myself> joey: 7 1/2
JOEY> 10? WOW. A record.
EFK> From the Yugoslavian judge, Myself?
JOEY> John, you shouldn't be so critical with your jokes!
Myself> that wasn't me - that $##%%@! GREMLIN did it to me.
EFK> Sure, sure.
Myself> <sheepish grin>
JOEY> Right, I have this bridge I need to sell.......
EFK> Not buying.
Myself> I can get you a good deal in poland
JOEY> Watch it, John....
EFK> /watching
JOEY> (grin)
JOEY> Whatcha see?
Myself> there is this real nice real estate where your bridge would
fit nicely
** Tiggeroo just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (8 members now) **
JOEY> Hi Gayle.
SYLVIA> WELL TIM IT APPEARS THAT THE EAST COAST PARTY WILL BE IN
FLORIDA.. SHALL WE SET UP A WEST COAST ONE
Connie> hi Gayle!
Tiggeroo> <sneaking in unnoticed late as usual>
Beth> Hi Tiggeroo
Tim> Hi Tiggy!
EFK> Hi
Tim> Ok, but i'm more midwest
Tiggeroo> Hi Tim, JOEY, My, Connie!!, Beth and EFK
Myself> how about we set up the west coast party in florida too, that
way we can co-incide and meet everyone there.
Tiggeroo> west coast party can be at *my* house
Myself> <nod>
EFK> <no nod>
EFK> Not crazy about CA either.
Tiggeroo> nothing *wrong* with CA
EFK> We New Yorkers are very chauvinistic.
SYLVIA> BUT I WAS PLNNING ON A COUPLE OF FRIENDS FROM ARGENTINA
COMING
Tim> When tiggeroo ?
JOEY> California=long way
Tiggeroo> but worth the drive Joey!
EFK> CA = pink tofu.
Tiggeroo> excuse me?
JOEY> Drive? hehe
JOEY> Pick me up at the airport.
Tim> Yes, their names are Arge and Tina
Myself> <groan>
EFK> I'll pick u up anyplace you choose.
Tiggeroo> sends arent working..
EFK> No kidding!
JOEY> Falling out of chair....
Tiggeroo> efk--* youre that nice ?
Myself> <u bet>
SYLVIA> I WAS FROM N.Y. ONCE.. NEVER WENT BACK ONCE I GOT OUT
Tiggeroo> i should go to new york one day soon
EFK> Trying to appologize for CA putdown, not succeeding.
Tim> Well, did they stamp your hand, sylvia?
EFK> Just her passport.
Tiggeroo> so, was the CO enlightening?
EFK> Where in NY SYlvia?
SYLVIA> was born in the land of the dead(n.y.)
EFK> Did I die?
Tim> Was? you mean it's over?
Myself> no
JOEY> Not yet, Liz.
Tiggeroo> ok then IS the CO Enlightening?
EFK> /pinch
JOEY> Yes, tig.
Tiggeroo> who ya pinching EFK?
Myself> hey, anyone with enough sense to get out of new york and stay
there is ok by me <grin>
SYLVIA> nearcause
Tiggeroo> joey--* fill me in later ok!
EFK> I don't know about enlightening, but it sure was agreeable.
JOEY> Ok. Sounds good to me.
Tiggeroo> about the CO i mean..parts I missed and all
JOEY> Awww, heck.
Tiggeroo> >> grin <<
SYLVIA> opps data loss syrcause
JOEY> There are some parts I miss, too.
Tiggeroo> <reading letter>
EFK> Syracause isn't like the real New York!
Connie> but who's going to fill Joey in....on the parts he missed!?!
<grin>
EFK> I can see leaving there!
Myself> NOT ME !!!
EFK> You do it, Con.
Tiggeroo> Only *I* can Connie...eat your heart out (hehehehehhehe
sure Gaylee sure)
Tim> i missed a lot of parts, too, but then..
JOEY> It would take a long time.
Connie> but then someone has to fill me in on the parts I missed!
Beth> You suggested it, Connie!
Tim> parts is parts!
SYLVIA> my ex is from the bronx.. he's a good proof of the statement
that no intelligent life exists in n.y.
Myself> <hmmm>
Tiggeroo> <taking pars order>
Tiggeroo> er parts...
JOEY> <licking pencil point>
EFK> I was pinching myself to see if I dies.
Tiggeroo> My My Myself..hows it going hon?
Myself> yes.
EFK> Don't lick the pencil, Joe. Not good for ya.
JOEY> Pinch an inch?
Connie> Tim, parts may be parts, but it's what you do with the parts
that really count!
EFK> Not telling.
Beth> Lead, you know...
EFK> Even graphite. Not a good idea.
Tim> Hey, I'm all in favor of doing things with parts!
** POPE just joined CLE - WHY COME ON-LINE? (9 members now) **
EFK> Lick it metaphorically.
Myself> i am so far behind beth, i couldn't lead if i knew where i
was going.
EFK> Hi John P.
JOEY> <kneeling>
Beth> You're not far behind!
Myself> oh? where am I ?
Beth> (ducking head, waiting for pun)
POPE> sorry couldn't be here earlier, but wanted to say hi.
Tim> Myself, go ahead, we're listening
Myself> lo jp
EFK> If you thought of the pun, Beth, it's too late to duck.
Tim> and we're hearing 'lo jp'
Tim> oh, wait a minute i think i decoded that as a greeting
Tiggeroo> - signed off -
EFK> Tim: -1
Myself> <repeat> Tim> and we're hearing 'lo jp'
Tim> hey, my statement really wasn't worh repeating
JOEY> Tim, you're in trouble. -1, hmmm
POPE> hi Myself...Tim..
Translator> "Hello John Paul"
SYLVIA> well i'm going back to the real world..have a hot date
waiting in regular conf.
Tim> thank u, translator
EFK> Have a hot one.
JOEY> Nite, Sassy.
EFK> Or two.
EFK> And have one for me.
Myself> <maybe, maybe not> Tim> hey, my statement really wasn't worh
repeating
Tim> How come i get minus 1, anyway? I figured it out,...
JOEY> You only have to ask, Liz.
EFK> And she calls conf the *real* world!
SYLVIA> - signed off -
Tim> A little slow, sure, but..
Myself> by sylvia - thanks for coming.
EFK> ok already. I'm sooooooooo sorrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy.
Tim> gimme a break, these messages have to make it all the way to
Kansas!
Myself> ef ==>> sorry for what?
EFK> Oh yes,
HELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOKKKKAAAAAANNNNNSSSSSAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
Tim> efk, i forgive you
EFK> tks
Tim> was that simulated 50 baud, efk?
EFK> Your messages have to make it all the way to NY too, you know!
EFK> I'm only doing 300 b.
Tim> Or maybe full-duplex-and-then-some
Myself> I enjoy a good 'full duplex'.
Tim> Yeah, but they don't get jet lag going east
Tim> that sounded kinky, myself
EFK> No stop
JOEY> John, kinky?
JOEY> Never.
Tim> are there any meals on the flight?
Myself> ** New group name "SATURDAY NIGHT 'FLIGHT'" selected **
Tim> smoking or nonsmoking?
Myself> non-smoking thank you.
Tim> same here
Myself> I have this thing about breathing. Its good for my sex life.
POPE> can't stay ... have a good week all. .....
Tim> Just follow the arrows to the gate
Beth> non-smoking
JOEY> Princess couldn't make it, John?
Myself> nite jp
POPE> - signed off -
Connie> goodnight jp! take care!
Myself> she has been and gone joey
Tim> hey, maybe i'll try that, myself!
JOEY> Oh.
Tim> my sex life could use a boost
EFK> Smoking
JOEY> Smoking
EFK> Kansas too far to boost.
Tim> efk, all the way to the back, please
Tim> you too, joey
EFK> Safer there <grin>
Tim> watch yourselves back there
JOEY> Alright! Alone with Liz.
Myself> now, where is the 'Captn'?
Beth> That's true....put me in the back!
EFK> You know, the tail section is the safest part of a plane in a
crash.
Myself> beth, hows about I take you there <wink>
EFK> And they say smoking will shorten your life!!
Beth> Yes, and from now on I'm going to beg for it.
JOEY> Liz: 9
Tim> Well, one is more likely to get lung cancer thatn to be in a
plane wreck
EFK> Beg? Sounds kinky to me.
Beth> Ok, Myself
JOEY> I beg for it, but no luck.
Beth> Beg to sit in the tail section, efk
EFK> Yes, sit up and beg.
Tim> So i'll take my chances, thank you very much
Myself> right, that's the place for it <hahaha>
Myself> in the 'tail' section
Beth> Last time I flew, it was on Delta to Atlanta--and they put me
in the tail section. A non-smoker. Most uncomfortable ride.
Tim> groan
Myself> <walking back with beth>
Myself> exactly
JOEY> Noisy Beth?
Tim> Well, I really hate it when they strap me to the wing
EFK> Actually I don't like sitting in the smoking section. Too
smoky.
Myself> have i ever been to atlanta?
Tim> i'm beginning to feel they don't like me
Myself> hmmmmm
EFK> I like you Tim.
EFK> Even if you don't smoke.
Myself> ur ok i guess tim
Beth> Noisy! There was some sort of crack and explosion. The pilot
came on and said, "Well, folks...no need to panic. That sound
was just air racing across the engines. haha."
Tim> thanks, efk.
EFK> I've been to Atlanta. Great airport!
JOEY> Really comforted you, huh?
Beth> Huge airport. Seems larger than O'Hare.
EFK> Pilots all talk like that. They went to the Chuck Yaeger school
of dictin.
EFK> diction, that is.
Beth> I agree!
Myself> so, on the flight over from england, the plane lost an
engine.
Beth> NO!!
EFK> Tom Wolfe says it best in The Right Stuff.
Tim> efk went to the Chuck Yeager school of typing, i see (grin)
Myself> the capn announced that we would be an hour late getting into
new york.
Beth> I would have been sick.
EFK> I would've retreated to the smoking sectin.
Myself> a bit later another engine died and the capn announced that
the delay would be two hours.
Beth> I would have had a panic attack
EFK> Is this a joke?
JOEY> This a joke?
Tim> uh oh, i think i've heard this
EFK> Me too.
Myself> when the third engine died, the capn announced that we would
be four hours late.
Tim> (bearing with it)
Myself> then this italian guy next to me said...
Myself> i hope the other one doesn't die or we'll be up here all day.
Myself> <hiding under table>
Beth> (giggle0
JOEY> John doesn't like Italians.
EFK> I've heard that one, but it's still funny.
Beth> (that's so funny)
JOEY> Ahhh, dirty movie coming on.
EFK> He should've said "Martian?"
Myself> clean it up, this is a family show.
Beth> I've been watching Clint Eastwood
Tim> and the funny thing is, the italian was right!
EFK> What movie, Joe?
JOEY> Hollywood Hot Tubs.
EFK> Oh, you're kidding!
JOEY> No. On Showtime.
Myself> how many software engineers does it take to put up a ladder?
EFK> How many?
Beth> ?>>
Myself> none.
Tim> we're dying to know, myself
EFK> Why?
Myself> it's a hardware problem
EFK> Good
JOEY> Sounds like Delphi's explanation when I call complaining.
Tim> How many zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
EFK> They obviously don't have any hardware engineers.
JOEY> 4?
Myself> how many?
EFK> Two? One to change it and one not to change it?
Beth> one to turn the bulb and three to turn the ladder?
Tim> It takes ... never mind
EFK> Yes?
Tim> EFK wins the prize for tonite!
EFK> How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Myself> zen we assign someone else to take care of the light bulbs is
all.
EFK> Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
Tim> Hmm.. let me analyuze why u said that.
Beth> (giggle)
JOEY> Good Liz.
EFK> Old, but not bad.
Beth> I've never heard it
Tim> How many Californians does it atake to change a lightbulb? (now
that gayle is gone)
JOEY> I'm not that old, I guess.
EFK> One to hold the tofu...
Tim> It takes seven..
Tim> One to change the bulb, and six to share the experience
JOEY> hehehe
EFK> Thank you for sharing that.
Beth> How can you tell if an Iranian has kidney trouble?
EFK> How?
Tim> it's like , you know, my pleasure, efk
Beth> By his rusty zipper
EFK> Oh NO!
JOEY> <checking zipper>
Tim> ok, that's one way
JOEY> Whew!
Myself> so there was this jewish fellow on his knees praying....
EFK> You're no Iranian Joe!
EFK> and?
JOEY> Hey, you're right, Liz.
Myself> "God, I never asked you for anything, please this once...
Myself> let me win the NY state lottery?"
Myself> a week goes by and nothing.
Myself> so he goes back and prays some more
Myself> "God, I don't even care about the money, just let me win.
I'll give the money to charity."
Myself> <flashing lightning, thunder>
Myself> ""Hymie""
Tim> (waiting pateintely for punchline)
Myself> "God, is that you?"
Myself> ""Hymie, yes, I have tried to answer your prayer but you have
to meet me half way""
Myself> ""you have to buy a lottery ticket""
EFK> <ha>
JOEY> I have one.
JOEY> Superman was telling Batman one day
Tim> Is it over yet?
Myself> keep it for your old age <grigggle>
JOEY> I sure had a weird thing happen today.
Tim> Oh, I get it, he has to buy one first (grin)
JOEY> I was flying around Metropolis and saw Wonder Woman
Myself> <give tim a woopee pie>
JOEY> lying on her patio nude with her hip undulating
JOEY> hips. in an inviting fashion, and I couldn't control myself
JOEY> I swooped down on her
Myself> <no one can>
JOEY> Batman said "Ibet she was surprised"
Tim> (these jokes are great at 300 baud)
JOEY> Superman said "Not as surprised as the Invisible Man!"
EFK> Funny!
EFK> I have one.
Myself> hahahahahahaha
Tim> I'll give it a slight chuckle
Tim> on a scale of one to guffaw
Beth> (giggle)
EFK> A Frenchman, a Japanese man and an American were facing a firing
squad.
EFK> As is customary, they were asked their last requests.
EFK> The Frenchman said, I want to sing the Marseillaise.
EFK> The Japanese man said, I want to give one more lecture on
Japanese management.
EFK> The American said Shoot me first, I don't want to live through
another lecture on Japanese management!
JOEY> hehehe
Beth> (giggle)
EFK> You had to be there.
JOEY> Must have been a manager.
EFK> You'd appreciate that, Joey.
JOEY> I get lectured all the time.
EFK> Not by me, I assure you.
JOEY> No, not you.
Myself> ok....
Tim> I think I was there, maybe
Tim> Ok, myself?
Myself> never mind, I forgot how the punch line sould read.
JOEY> Know what the height of laziness is?
EFK> I'm almost here 3 hours. Too much! I should go.
Myself> nite ef
Myself> come again.
JOEY> Adoption.
Beth> Night ef
EFK> I'll wait for Joey to finish his joke.
JOEY> Nite liz.
JOEY> I DID.
EFK> Pout.
Myself> on a scale of 1 to 1
Myself> -1
JOEY> I need to go, too. Have to get up at 5.
EFK> That's sad, Joey.
Myself> nite joey
Beth> Ouch! That must be painful.
Tim> i think adoption was the punchline
JOEY> Very, so some people can go to a ball game.
Connie> goodnight JOey and EFK
EFK> Goodnight all. I will definitely come again.
EFK> Bye all.
Tim> but i'm not sure on these things
JOEY> But, I get a 4 day weekend next week.
Tim> bye efk
EFK> - signed off -
Myself> and good night from nbc news.
Beth> That should be nice.
JOEY> Very, I hope.
Beth> Goodnight Chet
JOEY> Goodnight David.
Myself> good night david
Tim> Good night, dick
JOEY> Nite all.
Myself> <goodnight lucy>
Beth> Goodnight America--you know, there should be a "Goodnight
America"
Tim> say goodnight dick
Myself> goodnight dick
JOEY> - signed off -
Beth> would be a nice balance
Tim> please one is enough, beth
Myself> how about that, we have two pair
Myself> beth, tim, connie and myself
Tim> beats a flush, doesn't it?
Beth> sure does
Tim> two pair of jokers, myself?
Myself> yeah, wanna play 'poker' <ie: poke her> <grin>
Tim> do these things always end in orgies (grin back)
Connie> myself, you been reading 'Truly Tasteless Jokes' again?
Myself> no, but it can be fun to make allusions etc.
Beth> sure can
Myself> sorry connie
Myself> they were truely tasteless weren't they.
Beth> my best jokes are not fit for this keyboard
Tim> Let's hear them anyway, Beth
Connie> actually they were a little tastier than usual, myself!
<grin>
Beth> I've heard them in nursing school, in the O.R.
Myself> tell us anyway.. i can make to conference private.
Beth> (I'd die of embarrassment)
Tim> wait a minute folks be back in a sec
Tim> back
Myself> its 11:54 do u know what i am up to?
Tim> getting some background on beth from whois
Tim> to prepare myself for this
Tim> okay, no we know all about you, go ahead, beth
Beth> I just don't know if I can go through with it! Ha
Myself> do it do it
Beth> Ok. You convinced me.
Beth> Two drunk guys stopped on a bridge to go to the bathroom...
Beth> the first one said, "Boy, this water sure is cold!"
Beth> The second one said, "Deep, too."
Tim> (oh god not this one)
Tim> Yes, ever since I said that, everyone has used that as a joke!
Tim> I really wasn't drunk that nite though
Beth> Oh, well, I guess I am losing my touch! I need to take another
nursing job to hear the best jokes.
Tim> no, on the contrary, it was a good joke
Beth> I know a real oldie.
Tim> ok, go ahead, beth
Beth> My parents used to have a jokes for the john, and I found
it...here goes..
Beth> An astronaut landed on a lush, green planet and saw a beautiful
girl stirring in a big cauldron
Myself> <just waking up no doubt>
Beth> and the astronaut said, "Hey, what are you doing, stirring in
that big old pot?"
Beth> The girl replied, "Making babies."
Beth> The spaceman said, "That's not how we make babies on Earth!"
Beth> The girl said, "Oh?" And the astronaut proceeded to tell her,
to which the girl said, "Please demonstrate."
Beth> The astronaut proceeded to demonstrate.
Beth> Afterward, the girl said, "Where's the baby?"
Beth> The guy said, "OH, that takes about 9 months."
Beth> The girl said, "Oh, why'd you quit stirring?"
Beth> Can you believe MY PARENTS had such TRASH in their bathroom
cabinet???!!!
Tim> Unbelievable!
Myself> i can't believe you repeated it here! <hahaha>
Beth> Well, folks, on that terribly trashy note, I must say goodbye.
Tim> But parents have been known to do such things
Myself> night beth
Myself> nite tim
Myself> nite connie
Connie> goodnight Beth and take care!
Beth> Nite Connie, myself, tim
Tim> nite beth!
Beth> - signed off -
Connie> Goodnight John and Tim.
Connie> - signed off -
.el
