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From: avsdT:mac@avsdS.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: New Unix Commands
Message-ID: <471@avsdT.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 22-Jun-83 12:45:05 EDT
Article-I.D.: avsdT.471
Posted: Wed Jun 22 12:45:05 1983
Date-Received: Fri, 24-Jun-83 12:56:38 EDT
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FLOG(10)              UNIX Programmer's Manual               FLOG(10)



NAME
	flog - speed up a process

SYNOPSIS
	flog [ ] [ ] [ -u ] process-id ...

DESCRIPTION
	Flog is used to cause an improvement in the performance of a
	process which is already in execution.
	
	     The process-id is the process  number  of  the  process
	which is to be disciplined.
	
	     The  value  n  of  the  l  keyletter  argument  is  the
	flagellation-constant,  or the number of lashes to be admin-
	istered per  minute.   If  this  argument  is  omitted,  the
	default is 17, which is the most random number.
	
	     The value m of the a keyletter argument is  the  number
	of  times  the inducement to speed up is to be If this argu-
	ment is omitted, the default is one, which is based  on  the
	possibility  that  after  that  the process will rectify its
	behavior by its own volition.
	
	     The presence of the u keyletter argument indicates that
	flog is to be unmerciful in its actions.  This nullifies the
	effects of the other keyletter arguments.  It is recommended
	that   this  option  be  used  only  on  extremely  stubborn
	processes, as its overuse may have detrimental effects.
	
	Flog will read the file /have/mercy for any entry containing
	the  process-id  of the process being sped up.  The file can
	contain whatever supplications are deemed necessary, but, of
	course  these  will  be  totally  ignored if the u keyletter
	argument is supplied.
	
	Improving Process Performance by Administration  of  Correc-
	tive Stimulation, CACM, vol 4, 1657, pp. 356-654.
	
	If a named process does not exist, flog replies  "flog  you"
	on  the  standard  output.  If flog kills the process, which
	usually happens when the u keyletter argument  is  supplied,
	it   writes  "amen",  followed  by  the  process-id  of  the
	deceased, on the standard output.
	
	Spurious  supplications  for  mercy  by  the  process  being
	flogged  sometimes  wind  up  on the standard output, rather
	than  in  !Funky!Stuff!   echo  x   -   tm.13   cat   >tm.13
	<<'!Funky!Stuff!'
	
SEE ALSO
	tm (10)
BUGS
	Works only on fridays, which are followed by a tues-
	day, on which corporate layoffs are announced.