Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!decvax!microsof!fluke!vax2:kurt From: vax2:kurt@fluke.UUCP Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: 101 USES FOR A DEAD uP Message-ID: <547@vax2.UUCP> Date: Mon, 23-May-83 09:26:20 EDT Article-I.D.: vax2.547 Posted: Mon May 23 09:26:20 1983 Date-Received: Fri, 27-May-83 01:33:39 EDT Lines: 47 It turns out that I have 10 old NEC 8080A chips sitting on my desk that, while fully functional (I think), are not usable because they do not meet some spec or other here. We therefore have inaugurated the first annual 101 Uses For a Dead Microprocessor Contest. Please post entries or mail them to me. {decvax!microsoft,uw-beaver,allegra,lbl-csam}!fluke!kurt 101 USES FOR A DEAD MICROPROCESSOR (We have the following) 1 mustache comb 2 scarecrow for centipedes 3 crampons 4 cat brush 5 doormat to scrape off mud 6 jail for ants 7 paper spindle 8 back scratcher 9 barrettes for hair 10 thumbtacks 11 bed of nails for a fakir 12 cleats 13 booby traps 14 cleaning finger nails 15 aggragate for concrete 16 fishing lure 17 miniature ligntning rods 18 barbed wire for slugs 19 self-piercing earrings 20 Japanese torture instrument (NEC parts) 21 `punk' jewellery 22 trellace for fungus 23 coffins for blown transistors 24 cookies 25 shingles 26 temporary surgical sutures 27 concurrent toothpicks 28 false eyelashes 29 taps for shoes 30 tupee for marines 31 lapel pins 32 self adhesive badges 33 prosthetic cat claws 34 headstones for your dead EPROMS 35 putting vent holes in pie shells 36 poker chips that wont slide off the table 37 dart-like game (thrown at flowcharts on a wall) 38 tire-poppers for terrorists to spread on roads 39 tiny harrow (pulled behind Tonka tractors) 40 g