Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!decvax!microsof!uw-beaver!cornell!vax135!ariel!hou5f!hou5b!hou5c!hou5e!hou5a!hou5d!hogpc!houxm!mhuxa!mhuxi!mhuxt!eagle!allegra!linus!genrad!noah From: noah@genrad.UUCP Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: nice guys finish last and how to attract a woman Message-ID: <3278@genrad.UUCP> Date: Wed, 25-May-83 14:47:22 EDT Article-I.D.: genrad.3278 Posted: Wed May 25 14:47:22 1983 Date-Received: Sun, 29-May-83 06:25:29 EDT Lines: 72 I posted this article a few weeks ago, but it seems that it never made it. Here it is again for those of you who didn't get it. I've been watching the discussion of "nice guys finish last", and my experiences seem to indicate that this is true most of the time. For a long time I was what you would call a really nice guy, that is truly concerned about other peoples feelings and would avoid hurting anyone. Let me tell you that being nice didn't work. Not only did I get hurt alot myself, most women had little interest. Lately, I have tried being less nice (but not crude or rude) and it does produces more results. Being less nice also increases the woman's perception of your self-confidence, the single most important quality women look for in men (all of my investigation of what women like lead me to this conclusion). Women want excitement in their men, and want to be treated like someone very special. They want to be romanced, and they want men to pursue them. Men, on the other hand, have difficulty understanding what women want, because men want different things. Men want love and affection, sex, and fun & excitement. Now I know someone is going to ask: "Since you know so much about women, are you happy with your women?". Well, no. Underneath I'm still too nice and detest having to be uncaring. It takes a long time to change oneself. For those of you who are interested here are my pointers for attracting female partners for relationships: 1. Give her compliments. Don't over do it, but do tell her she looks nice (women spend a lot of time and energy to look nice. They want their efforts to be appreciated), tell her what you like about her (her eyes, face, her personality, handwriting, etc. Don't restrict your compliments to her body -- she wants you to be interested in HER), and tell her that you feel comfortable around her. Don't lie, (she can perceive your truthfulness from your body language and your eyes) but do let her know she's been noticed. 2. Look at her when you talk to her. It has been said that the eyes are mirrors of the soul, and direct friendly eye contact is an excellent aid to communication. Romantic eye contact also seems to be one item in womans' romantic fantasies. Don't leer, as the woman will probably become defensive. 3. Be yourself. Don't act like someone else. Its too much work and it frustrates women who are trying to get to know you. 4. Let women know some of your weaknesses or touchy spots. Don't spill everything, but let a few human weaknesses out. (small ones if you don't know them well). If you are invulnerable, women will have difficulty identifying with you. Many women love to talk about feelings, and if you are with one who does, give her something to be interested in. 5. Leave sexual comments to body language, don't say them. The man who says "hi beautiful. You have a beautiful set of knockers" will most likely be left alone. Do use body language, but keep it subtle. While we are on the subject, I've been watching the discussion on "pawing". I have found that touching a woman in order to attract her will never work, unless she already wants you to touch her. If she doesn't want to be petted before you start, then you blew it. Most women will become defensive when pawed before they want it. So the rule of thumb is: Don't touch unless you know through reading her body language that she wants you to. Holding hands is an exception though. Most women won't feel too defensive if you reach for her hand. If they object, they will just take their hand back. You wont get slapped, and you wont build up a wall of caution. Naturally, these are just my opinions. I hope some of you find it interesting. I'll bet someone out there in netland will notice my "scientific" approach in figuring out women. This was the only approach I knew, and my social skills had to be learned. They were not natural. So dont flame! Single and looking, Noah Morgan