Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!decvax!wivax!linus!allegra!eagle!harpo!floyd!vax135!ariel!houti!hogpc!houxm!ihnp4!ixn5c!inuxc!pur-ee!iuvax!isrnix!tim From: tim@isrnix.UUCP Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Asking Men Out Message-ID: <231@isrnix.UUCP> Date: Thu, 2-Jun-83 02:12:59 EDT Article-I.D.: isrnix.231 Posted: Thu Jun 2 02:12:59 1983 Date-Received: Wed, 8-Jun-83 11:29:02 EDT References: hou5f.275 Lines: 35 To my mind the problem of being asked out by a woman that you may or may not find particularly desirable is one of the most important lessons in trying to gain equality of the sexes. Men and women will only be able to understand each other when they have taken the other's role-eventually the whole concept of different rigid roles for men and women will to a great extent probably break down. Learning how a woman feels when she is approached by a man who she may not be all that attracted to helps to understand that position-vice versa when the women start taking the risk of putting themselves on the line maybe they will begin to understand why men do certain things better. My own opinion is that the stereotypical sex roles and mating roles of men and women have a lot to do with generating personality differences. Women learn to be coy and subtle because they have to be-in the traditional role they are not allowed to be direct. They also have to make themselves as attractive as possible in physical appearance since they have to WAIT for some guy to ask them out-besides that in the traditional role all they are allowed is to make it plain through body language and other subtle means that they are interested in a guy. Men on the other hand had better learn to take risks and face rejection -they are forced to be direct by being the one to ask the woman out. This has all sorts of reverberations in terms of an active vs passive approach to the world,etc. It also has innumerable implications in terms of the history of relationships (e.g. it is easier for the man to be faithful in a long-term relationship than a woman because he has to take an active role to go out with other women-all the women has to do on the other hand is accept the advances of men who find her attractive and are not deterred by her existing relationship) But with this major barrier between the sexes broken down these sorts of generalizations about men and women will also break down. But it is also one of the hardest barriers to break as witnessed by the angst of the women in the net who are not at all sure how to ask men out. I have found it amusing that I have known some VERY vocal feminists who still had NEVER asked a man out!! (or maybe asked ONE guy out in their life!) This shows that the risk of rejection is a high price to pay in these things- but progress is being made slowly but surely....... Tim Sevener decvax!pur-ee!iuvax!isrnix!tim