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From: ee163ay@sdccsu3.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: The Defense for Nice Guys
Message-ID: <719@sdccsu3.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 3-Jun-83 01:02:12 EDT
Article-I.D.: sdccsu3.719
Posted: Fri Jun  3 01:02:12 1983
Date-Received: Thu, 9-Jun-83 01:05:40 EDT
Lines: 58


In a previous article on nice guys, I never really posted any spec
sheets.  That's because everybody is going to have their own personal
criteria for defining a "nice guy", and I am not going to be foolish
enough to even attempt to impose an arbitrary standard...I would be
TORCHED ( as opposed to merely flamed ) if I tried.  Let me clarify a
few points from the previous article, though:

1)  In my book, everybody starts out as a nice guy unless he should
    prove otherwise by violating my personal criteria of what I find
    acceptable, for example, kitten strangling.  Those who are offended
    by "being taken for granted" as being nice, well, just let everyone
    know that you are not nice!  ( "No more Mr. Nice Guy!" ) If you are
    obnoxious enough, people will believe you.  ( "He'd be a nice guy
    if he didn't act like such a jerk!" )

2)  The plaid and cords were incidental--at your installation it might
    well be T-shirts and jeans, or 3 piece suits, or some other
    permutation of clothing.  But, just because a person wears this
    "uniform" doesn't mean that he's a nice person, just someone who
    happened have this stuff in his closet and decided to put it on!

3)  Women who are attacted to nice guys may not necessarily be nice
    themselves.  Likewise, nice women may be attracted to not-so-nice
    guys.  They may be trying to compensate for character deficiencies.
    After all, everyone wants to look good.   But, this is not a hard and
    fast rule.  In fact, I doubt that there are any real rules at all.
    A woman who likes a nice guy might also like a "jerk".  It's all
    individual tastes...If you can't determine someone's preferences through
    observation, or second-hand sources, then ask.  Degree of subtlety in
    asking depends on you and whom you ask.

4)  When I said that nice guys are "willing to try anything at least
    once", of course I didn't mean ANYTHING!  If I told someone to
    jump off a cliff, if he did it, I wouldn't think he was nice, I'd
    think he was DUMB.  C'mon, be reasonable, of course personal
    standards are involved here, but at least a nice guy would be
    open-minded and consider the request, and if he refused, then he'd
    give an explanation.  As for scaring the guy off, well, there is
    this big bugaboo that women should not be forward, etc., which is
    one that I'd like to stomp on here and now.  If I said/did something
    which scared a guy, a reasonable fellow would tell me why it scared
    him, leaving me the option of not saying/doing it again.  If he
    hightails it without letting me know why, I am certainly not going
    to feel guilty about it ( of course, that's just me ), and further-
    more, I would probably repeat my mistake.  That would not be a guy
    I could respect.  The hallmark of a really nice guy is someone who
    will criticize you when you need it, without antagonizing you.

    As a friend of mine puts it:

    "How can I know such as much as a good thing if you do not let me
     know?"


Keep those cards and letters coming...

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