Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!sdcsvax!sdccsu3!ee163cz
From: ee163cz@sdccsu3.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: Smokers (a subject to flame about)
Message-ID: <741@sdccsu3.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 12-Jun-83 13:14:26 EDT
Article-I.D.: sdccsu3.741
Posted: Sun Jun 12 13:14:26 1983
Date-Received: Mon, 13-Jun-83 19:41:18 EDT
Lines: 40


   We shouldn't really have to discuss whether second-hand smoke is
hazardous--IT'S ANNOYING!  Smoking is a disgusting practice which
provides, at no extra cost, a considerable nuisance for anyone with
a functional nose who has the misfortune to be downwind of the smoker.
Smokers pollute not only the air but also the sidewalks--just look at
the ground near any bus stop!  This could provide considerable extra
income for cities: most cities have laws against littering, and anyone
who smokes in public without benefit of an ashtray is clearly littering,
and should be fined.
   The world is full of clods who insist on smoking, playing radios loudly,
etc., without regard for the rights of others NOT to participate. (Speaking
of radios, have you noticed that those 'personal stereos' are often audible
from the far side of a busy street?)
   As for Tim Marony's line about smokers going to jail if smoking were
illegal: rubbish!  The penalty would most likely be a fine.  Actually, the
penalty will most likely be nothing at all.  The tobacco lobby is
powerful.  San Diego has three separate laws prohibiting certain common
activities on buses: radio or tape playing ($500/6 months), eating
($500/6 months), and smoking ($15).  Yes, folks, down here you can
go to jail for eating, but never for smoking.  (The penalties mentioned
are approximate--I'm not on the bus right now, so I don't have the signs
in front of me.)

   Creative suggestion time: smokers might be encouraged to quit in the same
way that Tylenol users were.  If an army of deranged anti-smokers were
to start tampering with cigarettes and returning them to shelves... hmmm...
cyanide wouldn't work; it burns (see, however, British patent 11419/1902).
A trace of nickel mixed with the tobacco might have interesting results
(nickel, hot carbon monoxide, ... nickel carbonyl...), but might not
be promptly linked to the cigarettes.  Organophosphorus pesticides,
arsenical weed-killers, selenium (from old rectifiers?)... the possibilities
are endless.  Please *don't* write to me about this... I'll wait to
read about it in the papers, and besides, I was only joking, and it's
not my fault if some lunatic didn't realize that....


                  Randomly,
                  F. J. Gumby
                  sdcsvax!sdccsu3!ee163cz until ~6/17