Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Path: utzoo!decvax!microsof!fluke!vax2:kurt
From: vax2:kurt@fluke.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: 101 USES FOR A DEAD uP
Message-ID: <547@vax2.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 23-May-83 09:26:20 EDT
Article-I.D.: vax2.547
Posted: Mon May 23 09:26:20 1983
Date-Received: Fri, 27-May-83 01:33:39 EDT
Lines: 47

It turns out that I have 10 old NEC 8080A chips sitting on my desk that,
while fully functional (I think), are not usable because they do not meet
some spec or other here.  We therefore have inaugurated the first annual
101 Uses For a Dead Microprocessor Contest.  Please post entries or mail
them to me. {decvax!microsoft,uw-beaver,allegra,lbl-csam}!fluke!kurt

101 USES FOR A DEAD MICROPROCESSOR (We have the following)

1  mustache comb
2  scarecrow for centipedes
3  crampons
4  cat brush
5  doormat to scrape off mud
6  jail for ants
7  paper spindle
8  back scratcher
9  barrettes for hair
10 thumbtacks	
11 bed of nails for a fakir
12 cleats	
13 booby traps	
14 cleaning finger nails
15 aggragate for concrete
16 fishing lure
17 miniature ligntning rods
18 barbed wire for slugs
19 self-piercing earrings
20 Japanese torture instrument (NEC parts)
21 `punk' jewellery
22 trellace for fungus
23 coffins for blown transistors
24 cookies
25 shingles
26 temporary surgical sutures
27 concurrent toothpicks
28 false eyelashes
29 taps for shoes
30 tupee for marines
31 lapel pins
32 self adhesive badges
33 prosthetic cat claws
34 headstones for your dead EPROMS
35 putting vent holes in pie shells
36 poker chips that wont slide off the table
37 dart-like game (thrown at flowcharts on a wall)
38 tire-poppers for terrorists to spread on roads
39 tiny harrow (pulled behind Tonka tractors)
40 g