> Ch. 2
ALL : Electric Boogaloo!
> (I'll think up a song later!)
TRACE : Don't rush on our behalf. We're good!
> Rei awoke to a most delicious aroma wafting into her room.
JOEL : [Rei] Mmm... Fried whale blubber in squid ink sauce! Just
like home!
> She yawned sat up, debating the merits of getting up and going
> downstairs to just laying here before she entered a world she knew
> nothing about.
FRANK : She decided to split the difference and spent the whole
day on the internet.
> She then saw Usagi walk past her room on her way downstairs and
> decided to get up and eat before Usagi ate it all.
JOSH : [Rei] And she never gains a pound. By the gods, I hate
her!
> When she got downstairs, she received quite a shock: there was a
> giant sitting at a table! He had a tangled mess of a beard and
> hair.
TRACE : Rubeus Hagrid - half-giant, all annoying!
> Two black eyes glittered out at her, but they were warm and
> friendly. Usagi was sitting by him, talking to ham in broken
> English. Rei smiled.
MARY JO: [Rei] *SIGH* she's talking to the food, again!
> "Hello," she said. The giant smiled at her.
>
> "'Ello! You one o' them Senshi, then?"
>
> Rei nodded. "I'm Sailormars."
JOSH : [Rei] And yes, it's one word. Get it wrong and I gut you
like a giant, bearded fish, capiche?
> The giant stuck out his hand. "Rubeus Hagrid. Everyone just calls
> me Hagrid, tho. I'm goin' t' show yeh around Diagon Alley, help you
> get yer Hogwarts stuff."
JOEL : Great: send the guy half the native speakers can't
understand to show around the foreign exchange students.
MARY JO: Sadly, that's right in character with the way the Ministry
does things in canon.
> Rei grinned. "So we can get to Diagon Alley from here?"
TRACE : [Rei] And can you explain when I learned to speak English?
> "Sure!" Hagrid boomed. "Dumbledore ses yeh're s'posed to get
> everythin' yeh'll be needin': wand, robes, broomstick, th' works.
> Even bin given some Galleons to buy yeh stuff fer yeh. Mind yeh,
> got th' Weasleys commin' up today, too, so yeh'll be doin' yer
> shoppin' wi' them, as well as Hermione and Harry."
FRANK : [Rei] I completely lost you after "Sure!"
> "Who's Harry?"
MARY JO: o/~ She said o/~
ALL : o/~ And smiled in her special way! o/~
> Rei looked up, startled, to see that everyone had risen and come
> into the room.
JOSH : [Onlooker] Hey everybody! Some dumbass doesn't know who
Harry Potter is!
JOEL : [Onlooker] Let’s all crowd around and gawk at them!
> Hagrid smiled at Setsuna, the one who had spoken.
TRACE : [Hagrid] Finally! Someone less up on current events than
me!
> "Yeh're really not from our world, are yeh, not t' know about Harry
> Potter. Why, he's only th' greatest hero that the wizardin' world
> has known.
MARY JO: [Rei] Cool! So what did he do?
FRANK : [Hagrid] Well, mostly not get killed and defeat dark
wizards through determination, dumb luck and the odd deus ex
machina.
MARY JO: [Rei] Wow, that sounds familiar!
TRACE : [Usagi] Bite me, Rei!
> Harry was th' downfall of You-Know-Who."
JOEL : [Pluto] No, I don't know. That's why I asked.
> "No, I'm afraid we don't know who," Ami said, confused.
JOEL : See?
> "I'm sure it'll be in our books but, please, who is you know who?"
TRACE : [Hagrid] It's "You Know Who!"
FRANK : [Usagi] That's what I'm asking!
ALL : THIRD BASE!
> Hagrid frowned. "Don' like to say th' name...he was a wizard that
> went bad, bad as could be. He was killin' everyone and everythin'
> that stood in his way. He killed Harry's parents, an' tried to kill
> Harry. Harry was only a year old, but fer some reason, he couldn't
> kill Harry. Harry got a scar, but tha's all. After that, his power
> broke, an' he's only jus' now commin' back to power."
MARY JO: [Ami] Question: What?
> "But, please," Ami pressed. "You haven't told us his name yet."
TRACE : Geez, girl! Take the friggin' hint!
JOSH : Empathy - thy name is Ami.
MARY JO: [Therapist] I know you don't want to talk about where the
bad man touched you. So can you tell me where the bad man touched
you?
> Hagrid sighed. "His name was Voldemort." He shuddered. "Don' make
> me say it again, if yeh please."
>
> Ami was about to ask another question
JOEL : Guess a high INT score gives you +5 vs. Clue-by-Fours.
> when her attention was drawn to the fireplace, which had just
> erupted in bright emerald flames. Hagrid smiled.
>
> "That'll be th' Weasleys and they friends."
FRANK : They friends with who?
ALL : BA-DUM-BUM!
> Sure enough, as the astonished Senshi watched, a redheaded boy came
> whirling out of the fireplace, covered in soot. He looked up and
> grinned.
JOSH : [George] Yes! Zero pieces missing, nothing on fire!
> "Hi."
>
> The Senshi waved dumbly. They watched as another boy came through
> the flames, looking exactly like the one that had come before him.
> Twins, Haruka thought with some unease. She'd never been
> comfortable around two people who looked exactly alike. One reason
> why she'd so avoided the Inner planets in the Silver Millennium.
TRACE : That probably makes sense in context.
JOSH : And we're probably never gonna get that context.
TRACE : Nope.
> The other twin grinned. "Hello. I'm Fred Weasley, and this is my
> brother, George. Our brother and sister will be here soon."
FRANK : [Fred] Along with the people they'll soon be shagging!
MARY JO: [George] What did Mum tell you about reading ahead in the
script?
FRANK : [Fred] "Don't get caught doing it?"
> George stepped aside from the emerald flames as another redheaded
> boy, younger this time, came out of the fireplace. He was younger,
> but taller than either twin, and thinner too. He grinned widely.
>
> "It's really you! My friend, Hermione,
FRANK : [Fred] Missed a syllable on "friend", bro.
JOEL : [Ron] Dammit, shut up!
> will be excited to meet you. But I think Harry's coming next."
TRACE : [Ron] He'll probably be falling for one of you, so you
might want to sort that out before he gets here.
> "Harry Potter??" Chibiusa asked. Already she was eager to meet this
> hero that Hagrid had spoken of with such pride.
TRACE : We have a winner!
> She watched as a boy nearly fell out of the fireplace. He wore
> glasses, had bright green eyes, and untidy black hair. And on his
> foreheadh
MARY JO: ...The mother of all zits!
> Chibiusa stared. She then turned to Hagrid as the boy continued to
> brush soot off of his Muggle clothing.
>
> "On his forehead...is that where..." Hagrid nodded.
JOSH : [Hagrid] Worst AC/DC tattoo ever, yep.
> Chibiusa turned back to Harry with newfound respect in her eyes.
MARY JO: [Chibiusa] A baby who destroyed a villain through the
sacrifice of others. Sounds like family.
FRANK : [Usagi] Screw you!
> Next to come through was a brown-haired girl. She brushed soot off
> of her clothing as well before turning the Senshi and, producing a
> piece of parchment and quill, demanded their autographs. Usagi
> blushed.
JOEL : [Usagi] I'm not sure I'm allowed to sign your chest. But
thanks for asking.
> Her horrible handwriting was a joke throughout the superhero
> community. Hermione, however, treated her signature as if it were
> gold, which, to her, it probably was.
TRACE : She can probably get five galleons for that on Wizard
EBay. [beat] I know the proper currency terms for Harry Potter.
I'm such a nerd...
> As Hermione took autographs of all the Senshi, another redheaded
> person came through the fireplace, obviously, by this time, the
> Weasley daughter.
FRANK : Who's name we won't bother to mention.
> Haruka smiled as a familiar face came into view and Arthur Weasley
> came whirling out of the fireplace, followed by who must have been
> his wife, Molly. Molly smiled.
>
> "You must be the Sailor Senshi, I've heard so much about you-"
JOSH : Just not gonna explain how, are you, story?
> "Mostly from Hermione," Ron muttered.
JOSH : I stand corrected.
> Hermione went bright red, but said nothing. Ron turned to Harry.
>
> "We've got to stop by Quality Quidditch Supplies, I've got to pick
> up a twig clipper for my broom."
>
> "Uh...Quidditch?" Makoto asked, a little confused. Arthur turned a
> mock-reproving eye on Hagrid.
>
> "Hagrid, you didn't tell them about Quidditch?"
MARY JO: Why would he? That'd be like telling a bunch of Duke
exchange students about basketball before they see the campus.
> "Didn't have time t', Mr. Weasley. I was only jus' tellin' them
> 'bout Harry here."
JOEL : Because the most important part of Hogwarts is Harry.
> Harry blushed as well. Hagrid got to his huge feet.
>
> "Well, everyone's here, we bes' be off."
>
> Hagrid walked out the back of the Leaky Cauldron, to the trash can
> that sat there. Rei raised an eyebrow.
TRACE : [Rei] You're making a drug drop, aren't you?
> "If this is Diagon Alley," she whispered to Minako in Japanese.
> "I'd hate to see what Hogwarts looks like." Minako grinned. Hagrid,
> meanwhile, was busy by the wall. He grunted, stood up and tapped a
> brick with his umbrella. Immediately an archway large enough for
> even him appeared in the wall. Through it they could see a winding
> street with crooked little shops on it. Hagrid looked at the
> shocked faces of the Senshi and laughed.
>
> "Welcome to
ALL : NARNIA!
> Diagon Alley."
ALL : Oh.
> As the group passed through into Diagon Alley, Minako leaned back
> over to Rei.
>
> "Still reluctant to see Hogwarts?"
MARY JO: [Rei] Even more so now! I'm afraid a Monty Python sketch
is gonna break out!
> Harry glanced at the Senshi. Hermione had told tales of their
> adventures: The Sailor Senshi and the Black Dream Hole, the Sailor
> Senshi and the Ice Queen, the Sailor Senshi and the Dark Kingdom.
TRACE : Again: HOW? Half that stuff took place in other
dimensions.
> She hadn't mentioned that they were so very tall,
FRANK : Aren't Jupiter and Pluto the only actual tall ones?
> all with the possible exception of the pink-haired girl who had to
> be Chibimoon, and even she was tall for her age.
JOEL : Dial it back, Jerry Lee!
> He'd been a bit nervous being with them, but Chibiusa, as she said
> her real name was,
JOSH : But seeing that Chibiusa is a nickname, that shows you
what she thinks of Harry.
MARY JO: Good on her!
> had struck up a conversation almost immediately and the two of
> them were talking comfortably by the time they got to Gringotts.
TRACE : And we already used a "wizard Chris Hanson" joke, damn the
luck!
> Chibiusa now looked up at the big white bank in awe.
>
> "This is the wizard bank?"
>
> Harry nodded. "Yeah. They say there's dragons guarding the
> higher-security vaults."
>
> Chibiusa's big red eyes were wide. What Gohan-chan wouldn't give to
> see this place. He was always complaining that she got all the good
> adventures.
JOSH : Wait - "Gohan?" As in "Dragonball Z” Gohan?
MARY JO: It's Pop Culture Jambalaya!
> Chibiusa ran inside and for a second stood in wonder at the sheer
> number of goblins writing in ledgers, showing people in and out of
> doors...
>
> She noticed that the rest of the Senshi were at a long counter,
> where they seemed to be exchanging Yen for Wizard money. She looked
> at the strange coins.
>
> "What are those?"
TRACE : Money. Try and keep up with your own observations.
> Harry smiled. "The gold ones are Galleons. The silver ones are
> Sickles, the bronze ones Knuts. Twenty-nine Knuts to a Sickle,
> seventeen Sickles to a Galleon. It's easy enough."
FRANK : So's speaking Chinese when you've been around it for
years.
> "Are you kidding me?" Chibiusa said incredulously. "It took me long
> enough to figure out the American money system!"
MARY JO: [condescendingly] That's because you're very slow, dear.
> Harry laughed, then turned as his sleeve was tugged on by a goblin.
> Hagrid frowned.
>
> "We don' have t' take those infernal carts, do we?"
JOEL : He's just mad because they charge him double for two
seats.
> Hagrid exited Gringotts some time later with everyone else, looking
> slightly green around the gills.
>
> "If y' don' mind," he said. "I think I'll stop fer a drink..."
>
> Hagrid lumbered off and Molly smiled.
MARY JO: [Molly] That's my big lush!
> "I think you could all do with some refitting for robes, and the
> Senshi need to get theirs. So how about Madam Malkin's robe shop?"
>
> Harry smiled a bit, then frowned remembering that the robe shop was
> the first place he'd met Malfoy. Ami clapped her hands excitedly.
>
> "Hang on a minute," She said. "We're going as the Sailorsenshi, so
> we've got to be in our fukus before we're fitted.
>
> She turned to everyone.
FRANK : [Ami] Alright, girls! Time for our big number!
> "Minna," she said grinning. "Henshin yo!" (Everyone, transform!)
ALL : Yo!
> Haruka, Michiru and Setsuna nodded.
>
> "Uranus Planet Power,"
>
> "Neptune Planet Power,"
>
> "Pluto Planet Power,"
>
> "Make Up!" they chorused.
>
> The inners grinned.
>
> "Venus Crystal Power,"
>
> "Mars Crystal Power,"
>
> "Mercury Crystal Power,"
>
> "Jupiter Crystal Power,"
>
> "Make up!" they yelled.
>
> Finally Usagi and Chibiusa nodded and held up their henshin
> brooches.
>
> "Moon Crisis Make Up!" the said in unison.
ALL : STOCK FOOTAGE TRANSFORMATION POWER!
> Sailormercury noticed for the first time that quite a few witches
> and warlocks had stopped to stare as the girls had transformed.
> They'd now burst into applause, the Weasleys, Harry and Hermione
> included.
JOEL : [Harry] We're easily impressed!
ALL : HUZZAH!
> The senshi flushed. Mercury turned to Molly.
>
> "You were showing us the way to Madam Malkin's?"
>
> Madam Malkin's robe shop was just was it was when Harry had last
> seen it. A witch came bustling up to them.
MARY JO: [Madam Malkin] Didn't know the circus was in town. Well,
I'll do what I can!
> "The Sailor Senshi, I presume. Yes, I was expecting you, Dumbledore
> sent an owl to let me know you were coming."
>
> "Sent an owl?" Chibimoon asked curiously. Harry smiled.
>
> "It's how wizards communicate. I have one myself, her name's
> Hedwig."
JOSH : [Harry] She has an angry inch!
> Chibiusa smiled. The witch showed them to the back of the shop,
> where someone else was being fitted. Harry frowned, then scowled.
> He recognised that head of pale blond hair. The boy turned around
> and confirmed Harry's suspicions.
ALL : Hello, Neumann...
> "Potter," the boy said in a drawling voice that was barely masked
> with politeness.
TRACE : [Draco] I see the circus...
FRANK : [Harry] Madame Malkin already made that joke.
TRACE : [Draco] Blast!
> "Didn't expect to see you here. Or you either, Weasley," the boy
> added, glancing coldly at Ron. Harry forced a polite smile.
JOEL : For someone on the wrong end of a beating that much, he
sure likes inviting them.
> "Malfoy," he said stiffly. Malfoy's pale eyes flicked over the rest
> of the group as Chibimoon stepped up to be fitted. Her red eyes
> already showed an initial dislike of Draco Malfoy. Draco, however,
> showed more interest in the younger senshi than he'd even shown
> Harry.
TRACE : You back off, too, Polanski!
> "You must be Sailorchibimoon," he said, suddenly flashing a
> gracious smile.
MARY JO: [Chibiusa] Depends on who's doing the translating.
> "My name is Draco Malfoy,
FRANK : [Draco] My friends call me "Ferret Boy!"
> I'm a student at Hogwarts. I'm in P-Harry's class," he corrected
> himself quickly, nodding towards Harry. Venus grinned at Chibimoon.
>
> "Watch out, Chibiusa," she said in Japanese. "Gohan-kun may have
> company."
>
> Chibimoon grinned,
TRACE : [Chibiusa] I have no idea what you meant by that!
> then turned to Draco.
>
> "I'm Sailorchibimoon," she said very stiffly and politely. "I don't
> suppose you happen to know anything about racing brooms, do you?"
JOEL : [Chibiusa] Like "Why?" Seriously, you guys have magic and
you choose to fly around on brooms? At least break out the magic
carpets!
> She caught Harry's eyes and grinned. Harry had already told her all
> about Gryffindor's Quidditch matches against Slytherin, and about
> Malfoy's results as Seeker. Malfoy, however, grinned.
>
> "Or course I do," he said smiling. "And what would you like to
> know?"
>
> "I would like to know," Chibimoon said. "By just how much a
> Firebolt outstrips a Nimbus 2001."
JOSH : I think it's less of an insult when the other person can
tell you have no idea what it means.
> Ron clapped his hands over his mouth in order to avoid bursting out
> laughing right there and then. Harry had a sort of odd amused grin
> on his face, and Hermione looked absolutely scandalised that her
> hero would sink to such a tactic so quickly.
MARY JO: I'm disappointed she'd go straight for a "His is bigger
than yours" crack.
> Malfoy's smile faded quickly, and was just as quickly replaced.
>
> "Not by much I assure you," he said. "It's really not worth it to
> buy a Firebolt, as it's all extra varnish and lettering, anyway,"
> he said, casting a sharp sideways look at Harry. Hermione now
> grinned.
JOSH : It's like watching someone try to convince you his
Corvette is just as good, if not better, than that Porsche: If you
cared, you'd probably already know the truth.
> "Gee, Malfoy," she said. "I don't know, in that last Quidditch
> match, Harry did get to that Golden Snitch pretty fa-"
>
> "Not by much," Malfoy interrupted, shooting Hermione another brief
> look. "I'd be more than happy to give you a ride on mine to show
> you once term starts."
TRACE : That was sort of a one-and-a-half entendre, wasn't it?
> Chibimoon seemed to think about it. The witch who was fitting
> Malfoy stood and let him down. He gazed up at Chibimoon. "Think
> about it."
JOEL : How old is she supposed to be here, anyway?
FRANK : Guess the Wizarding AOC is a lot lower than the rest of
Britain.
> With that, he walked out. Chibimoon turned to Venus.
>
> "It's he who should watch out," she said. "If I fall off of that
> broom, Gohan-chan will come here and Kamehameha him five ways to
> Sunday."
>
> The Senshi laughed.
ALL : [flatly] Ha ha ha ha ha.
> "I want a 5th Avenue bar," Sailormoon wailed. Hermione smiled.
>
> "They don't sell 5th Avenues in the wizarding world.
JOSH : [Harry] Though I'm sure the twins could whip you up some
exploding pocky.
FRANK : Don't think they sell them in Regular Britain *or* Japan,
either.
JOEL : Butterfingers rule, 5th Avenues drool! Wooo!
> How about a bag of Every flavour beans?"
>
> Harry grinned. "I could go for that."
TRACE : [Harry] Come on "lukewarm beans-in-a-can" flavor!
> "Then it's settled," Molly Weasley said smiling. Venus frowned.
>
> "Every flavour beans?"
>
> Ron nodded. "Yeah. There's the normal ones like cherry and
> chocolate. But then there's liver and tripe. They mean every
> flavour."
FRANK : [Usagi] Oooh, do they have "spicy octopus ball" flavor?
JOEL : [Harry] Not sure, but I'd guess they show up in the "What
the hell is this?" section.
> Uranus smiled wryly. "This ought to be interesting."
>
> Hermione ran off to buy them a bag. Arthur looked at his list.
>
> "We ought to stop by Flourish and Blotts to get your books. But
> first we'll need to get your cauldron."
>
> "Why?" Mercury asked with avid curiosity. Arthur grinned ruefully.
TRACE : [Arthur] Did they tell these nobs anything besides "Come
to our magic school?"
> "Because you'll have so many books, you'll need to keep them in the
> cauldron until we can get them into a trunk, that is."
>
> Sailormoon paled. "There's that many??" she asked incredulously.
> Mars grinned.
MARY JO: [Rei] You're a dumbass! Teehee!
> "Looks like you'll have to study, Usagi-chan," she said in
> Japanese. "I'm sure Ami-chan can show you how."
>
> Sailormoon flushed. "Maybe you ought to go back to Ryo, Rei," she
> spat venomously. "Otherwise once I've learned a really good curse,
> I'm using it on you."
>
> "No you won't," Mars shot back with a smirk. "You know I'm better
> than you at everything anyway."
FRANK : ME-YOW!
> Sailormoon would have launched herself at Mars had Uranus not
> stepped directly between them. She gave Moon a hard look, then Mars
> an even fiercer one. Mercury smiled. No matter how bad things got,
> Uranus could always quell the most explosive of fights between
> those two. She blinked as they had stopped. She looked up at the
> book store. Flourish and Blotts. She shrugged and went inside. Then
> she gasped. So many different books! And such strange titles. She
> was used to seeing books like "The idiot's guide to RPG games" and
> stuff like that. Not to see a bunch of books in a cage tearing at
> each other. She frowned.
JOEL : [Ami] None of these are the Necronomicon, right?
JOSH : [Arthur] No, that's been out of print since the Zombie
Outbreak of 1983.
> "We won't be needing one of those, will we?"
>
> "The Monster book of monsters." Harry sighed. "Yeah, you'll need it
> for your Care of Magical Creatures class."
>
> Pluto gulped. Just what were they getting themselves into??
MARY JO: “Fangirl Fruit Salad,” that's what.
> About a half-hour (and numerous bites for the clerk) later, Hagrid
> had returned with their cauldrons, and Mercury had to admit she was
> grateful for it as she tipped her books into it. She dusted her
> hands and blew out her breath through her bangs. She opened her
> mouth to ask where to next when a high-pitched beeping cut her
> short.
FRANK : [Ami] AAAAH! AIR RAID!
> Her communicator! She quickly whipped it out, nothing the worried
> expressions of everyone else. She frowned as Touma's face filled
> the screen.
>
> "Nani desu ka?" she asked. (What is it?)
TRACE : [Touma] Ummm... You have a spare mom, right?
> Touma flushed. "Um...you wouldn't know where the fire extinguisher
> is, would you?"
>
> Mercury nodded. "Under the basement steps. Why?"
>
> "Well," here Touma flushed more. "I was cooking and-"
>
> Jupiter had snatched the communicator away from Mercury.
>
> "If you've burned down my kitchen, Touma-kun, I swear I'm never
> going to forgive you!! Never! Never! Never!"
MARY JO: [Makoto] And why the hell are you in my house anyway?
> Touma was now totally red. "Shin-kun just gave me the same
> speech...no, the roast is burning. See, I had turned it up high, so
> that we'd eat on time but the outside burned and the inside isn't
> cooked yet."
JOEL : [Touma] And that's when I put everything in the microwave.
Twenty minutes on high sounded like a good idea!
> "Tell Raja-kun to order Chinese!" Venus suggested, her voice tinged
> with amusement. Mercury sighed.
>
> "Tou-chan, you know I don't mean anything by this, but we're rather
> busy buying our school equipment."
JOSH : [Ami] And not listening to you be a sitcom cliché.
> Touma grinned. "Send me an e-mail when you get there!"
>
> Mercury smiled.
>
> "You'll hear from me, that's for sure. Just do me one favour?"
>
> Touma smiled. "Anything."
FRANK : [Ami] Never talk to me again.
> "Keep the windows open. Ja ne!"
ALL : Sushi!
> She cut off the connection and several Senshi burst out laughing.
TRACE : [Ami, laughing] Oh, our menfolk are morons!
> "What was that all about?" Hermione asked. The Senshi quickly
> explained it to them. Harry chuckled.
>
> "He'll get a shock when your first letter arrives by Owl Post."
>
> Mercury giggled. "Where to now?"
JOEL : [Harry] I thought we'd meander through more of the story
being silly. Any objections?
> Arthur consulted the list.
JOSH : [Arthur] The last item for the day is "Strip naked..."
Dammit, boys!
FRANK & TRACE : [Weasley Twins, innocently] It wasn't us!
> "I do believe that our last stop is Mr. Ollivander's Wand shop."
>
> The Senshi tingled with excitement.
TRACE : Or maybe it was the questionable food. They weren’t sure.
> Getting a wand was the fun part! Or...so they thought.
ALL : DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN!!!
> Mr. Ollivander's eyes were like an owl's.
MARY JO: He had them installed fresh that morning.
> He looked at the Senshi.
>
> "Ah, yes. Dumbledore wrote to say you'd be coming. I suppose I'll
> start with you, Sailormoon. Which is your wand arm?"
JOEL : [Usagi] Depends: What's a "wand arm?"
> Sailormoon held out her right arm and Mr. Ollivander's tape measure
> began to do it's work. Mr. Ollivander began flitting about the
> shelves, pulling down a few boxes.
>
> "Here," he said. "Maple, Unicorn Hair, 8 1/2 inches. Very supple."
JOSH : You're just tossing out random words aren't you?
FRANK : [Improv comedian] Alright, I'll need a type of tree, a
fictional animal part, a random measurement and a description of a
woman's breasts!
> Sailormoon gave it a wave, but it was snatched out of her hand
> almost at once.
TRACE : [Olivander] NO! WRONG! AGAIN!
> "Try this," he said, thrusting another wand into her hand. "Oak,
> Dragon Heartstring. 10 inches."
MARY JO: Firm, yet yielding to the touch!
> Sailormoon waved this wand too, and had it too taken from her.
TRACE : [Olivander] Give me that, you stupid, useless... OOOOH!
> So it continued, until Sailormoon never wanted to see another wand
> again. The more wands she tried, the happier Mr. Ollivander got. He
> pulled out one.
>
> "Hmmm. Elder. Phoenix Feather. 14 inches."
MARY JO: Nice curve, perky tip.
FRANK : Mary Jo! You are perving out over there!
MARY JO: I don't get many chances to let my freak flag fly!
JOSH : That sounds suspiciously familiar...
> Sailormoon took it, and felt a warm tingling in her fingers.
MARY JO: It fit perfectly in her palm.
> She gave it a wave and a shower of beautiful silver sparks cascaded
> from the end.
ALL : OOOH! AAAAAH!
> The other Senshi cheered as Sailormoon's wand was wrapped. Mr.
> Ollivander looked at the other Senshi, eyes sparkling.
JOEL :[Olivander] NEXT VICTIM!
> "Ms. Mercury? I believe you're up. Here. Ash. Unicorn Hair. 9
> inches."
MARY JO: ...Aaaaand, I got nothin'.
TRACE : Good run, though!
> Sailorvenus collapsed into her bed that night, clutching her "Oak,
> Unicorn Hair, 9 3/4 inches" to her chest. In a few weeks, she would
> be off to Hogwarts.
TRACE : I thought they were going straight to Hogwarts from there?
FRANK : [nervously] I just don't know anymore!
> In the mean time, she was going to be pouring over her books,
> learning new spells. And given how much she truly did not like to
> Study,
JOSH : Let me emphasize that with capital letters.
> that was saying a lot. She had no doubt that Ami-chan, of course,
> had already by now learned ten spells by heart and had practised
> them to perfection. She fell asleep, her wand in hand, yet wishing
> Seiji were there to share the moment with her.
MARY JO: And then she remembered how nice and long her wand was...
FRANK : And she slips a jab in before the bell!
MARY JO: I found my perv-o second wind!
--
My name is Freezer and my anti-drug is porn.
http://freezer.livejournal.com/
http://mst3kfreezer.livejournal.com/
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