| [MSTing] Harry Potter and the Senshi's Circle [SM/HP/Ronin Warriors/DBZ] - Part 1 [message #44386] |
Fri, 22 March 2013 22:27 |
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[We open with the normal silhouettes of the CT crew walking to the
Riffing Chamber. They're conversing with The Rep, the nameless
liaison.]
THE REP: I can't apologize enough for what happened the last
time...
MARY JO: No, you can't.
THE REP: But I assure you we've taken steps to ensure that at least
you'll get some warning when such... questionable content is
offered up.
FRANK : Seriously, did you guys do no background on what we did?
"Sidehackers" man! "Sidehackers!"
THE REP: Yes, we're aware of the unpleasantness of "Sidehackers"
[aside]Now... But as I said, we're vetting the material now.
Mostly.
JOEL : Mostly?
THE REP: Well, mostly doing searches of the text for trigger
phrases and key words? Granted, a positive wouldn't automatically
disqualify a work...
JOSH : Yeah yeah, can the ass-covering. What've you got for us,
today?
THE REP: It's a fanfic called "Harry Potter and the Senshi Circle?"
TRACE : Oh, goody! A crossover!
FRANK : o/~ Fighting evil by moonlight/Playing Quiddich by
daylight o/~
THE REP: You might want to save that for the chamber. It's kind of
a long one, but I have been assured it's fun... Ish.
JOSH : That's not ominous at all.
THE REP: It's from the same author of some of your previous works:
"Life's Surprises" and "New Beginnings".
MARY JO: Once again - not really us.
TRACE : Though I did read that one on that thing that was kinda
funny.
THE REP: And as always, please insert the nanotated disk into the
time tube at the end of the story.
JOEL : Yeah, We've meaning to ask about that. Just what does
"annotated…"
[The Rep runs off]
JOSH : That's not ominous at all, either.
> (This fic will delve into everybody's favourite book, HARRY
> POTTER!!
MARY JO: And there was much rejoicing.
ALL : Yay.
> I couldn't resist, Ami-chan!! Kobito, stop making those faces, and
> Neko-chan, quit jumping up and down I'll turn the cat orange in
> honour of your hair before I'm done.
JOSH : Guys, the author's talking to the voices in her head!
> You'll see what I'm talking about.
JOEL : After this episode of... Soap!
> On we go!!)
ALL : HUZZAH!
> Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners, and
> special thanks to J.K. Rowling for creating such a schway (yes,
> Kawaiito, SCHWAY!!) universe.
TRACE : We have a severe fangirl warning for Crossover County.
Authorities have spotted a line of Batman Beyond references in the
area.
> Note, here, the idea of Touma burning food in this way was
> concocted not by me, but by the ever-resourceful Mrs. Strata.
FRANK : Questions: "Who?" and "Who?"
MARY JO: Careful - we may find out.
> Madam, we all salute you. Well, maybe except Silverfox's Greenie,
> he'll just sniff you.
JOEL : That sounds kinda dirty.
> Ch. 1
>
> Hogwarts, Hogwarts,
TRACE : Burning bright. Dumbledore flaming in the night.
ALL : *GROAN*
JOSH : For shame, Trace!
TRACE : You're just mad I beat you to that one.
JOSH : Not the point.
> Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,
>
> Teach us something please.
JOEL : "2 + 2," “proper sentence structure,” "why people think
Lady Gaga is original."
FRANK : "Something."
> Whether we be old and bald
MARY JO: Oh, we're going with 1950s school kids!
> Or young with scabby knees.
>
> -Part of the Hogwarts school song.
JOSH : Explains a lot about the wizarding school system,
actually.
> Harry awoke to the sound of shrill shrieking just outside of his
> door.
JOEL : [Harry] Damn fangirls! Can't I get a day to myself?
> Wrenching the curtains on his bed apart, he stumbled out into the
> corridor where he found none other than Hermione shrieking.
FRANK : Mostly because he stepped out naked.
TRACE : Hey now!
MARY JO: [Hermione] Oh my God, is that supposed to look like that!?
> "See here, Hermione, what's all this noise?"
>
> Hermione turned to Harry, her face lit up with glee.
JOSH : [Hermione] You're naked! Perfect!
> "I've just gotten an owl from my parents. They say they've gotten a
> letter that some guest students are coming to Hogwarts next year!"
JOEL : Naturally, they told the parents before they told the
students.
MARY JO: And just as naturally, this made you run all the way to
the boys' dorm and start screaming!
> "Oh?" Ron had joined them, looking not much more awake than Harry
> was. "And who are they?"
>
> "The Sailor Senshi!!"
FRANK : [Ron] I repeat; "And who are they?"
> Touma frowned. "I've never heard of this 'Hogwarts," he said.
TRACE : Hi Yo, Scene Change! AWAY!
> "How are we to know that this offer is legitimate? And how are you
> supposed to get there?"
JOEL : By the magic of "Because The Plot Says So!"
JOSH : The most powerful magic of all!
> Ami rolled her eyes and smiled. "We're taking a plane to London
> next week. Sometime over the summer, we're going to a place called
> Diagon Alley, where we'll buy our school stuff."
FRANK : So basically...
ALL : "Because The Plot Says So."
> She gently packed her henshin stick into the folds of her clothes.
> She'd need something to wear before getting her school robes. Touma
> sighed.
>
> "I would feel better about this if I could come with you."
>
> Ami kissed him on the forehead.
MARY JO: [Ami] Just shut up and be pretty for me, 'k?
> "I know you would, but I'm afraid it simply isn't possible.
TRACE : [Touma] Why is that, exactly?
MARY JO: [Ami] Because shut up.
> You've too much to deal with here with already without worrying
> about potions and spells and all that. Don't worry," she added.
> "We'll be fine."
JOEL : That's almost as bad as saying "What's the worst that
could happen?"
FRANK : Or "How bad can it be?"
TRACE : Or "Oh, look! Shyamalan is directing!"
> Hermione was whispering excitedly about which house which senshi
> would be sorted into.
JOSH : With Harry and Ron fighting the urge to zap her with the
Shutthefuckupus curse.
> "I'm almost certain that Mercury will be in Ravenclaw," she said.
> "After all, she's supposed to be extremely smart…"
JOEL : [Ron] You do realize that we have no bloody clue who these
people are?
MARY JO: [Hermione] Don't you ever...
TRACE : [Harry] If the rest of that sentence is "read the
newspapers", Ron and I start talking Quiddich. *Fantasy* Quiddich.
MARY JO: [Hermione] Shutting up, now!
> Harry speared a sausage. He glanced up at the ceiling of the Great
> Hall, which showed the sky outside to be a clear, balmy blue. He
> stuffed the unfortunate sausage into his mouth and chewed while
> Hermione prattled on.
JOSH : [Harry, thinking] If I shove a sausage down her throat, is
that sex assault or just assault with kinky undertones?
> "…Uranus will probably go into Hufflepuff, she's one of the most
> loyal senshi there are. As for Pluto, I think…"
TRACE : I think she's an adult and would even more out of place
than the rest of our Technicolor heroines.
> Ron rolled his eyes and grinned at Harry. The news had spread like
> wildfire across the school that the nine legendary soldiers were
> coming to Hogwarts for a year, thanks in no small part to Hermione.
FRANK : Which just bring up a raft of questions it would probably
take another story to answer!
> Malfoy, of course, didn't like it.
JOEL : He pushed hard for the girls from W.I.T.C.H.
MARY JO: Luna, of course, wanted The Gummi Bears. People couldn’t
decide if that would be silly or awesome.
> "They're nothing but muggles in sailor costumes," he commented
> loudly at the Slytherin table. "They don't have an iota of real
> magic in them. Why didn't they receive an invitation to Hogwarts
> when they were younger if they did?"
JOSH : What is "Because they're not British," Alex?
> He took a swig from his goblet and turned back to Crabbe and Goyle.
> "I bet they're all at the bottom of the class."
MARY JO: [Hermione] Professor! Malfoy's drunk again!
> Usagi grew increasingly nervous as the plane approached London. She
> and her fellow senshi would be sorted into the school at a
> sixth-year level.
TRACE : Doubly screwed-up because they're not all the same age.
JOEL : [Pluto] Why am I even here? I'm older than the rest of
you put together! [normal voice] Seriously, why is Pluto going
along with this?
FRANK : Four words: "Cougar on the prowl."
MARY JO: Not sure what's more messed up: That you'd think that way
or that it makes as much sense as anything here?
> The kids there were going to have a six year jump on her. She
> swallowed nervously. She was far enough behind in school when she'd
> started on time with everyone else. Now she was being given a six
> year handicap?
>
> She began to pout.
JOSH : [Usagi] Now I'm "developmentally challenged" instead of
"Adorably Dim!"
> "I wonder how we'll get to this Diagon Alley," Minako said at the
> Baggage claim. She peered at the sheet of laminated paper before
> her. "It's not on any of the maps."
TRACE : I wonder why some folks from Hogwarts didn't just go to
Japan and bring you there themselves.
> "Of course not," Makoto said,
FRANK : Don't be reedikulos!
> picking up Usagi's huge case. "It's magical. Professor Dumbledore
> said he'd have someone from the Ministry of Magic waiting for us in
> a car outside. They're supposed to take us to where we'll be
> staying."
MARY JO: They're putting a boatload of trust in a bunch of folks
they've only recently even heard of.
JOEL : But remember these are the same characters who get fooled
by the monster of the week every single time. You'd think the
fourth or fifth "mysterious new store" showing up out of nowhere
would've put them on guard.
> "I hope so," Usagi said, struggling to get a suitcase off of the
> carousel. "You know how horrible I am with directions."
TRACE : [Usagi] Ryoga is Christopher Columbus compared to me!
JOEL : That's a fanboy verbal warning, Trace. I'm gonna have to
give you a technical next time.
TRACE : Aw, man!
> Haruka chuckled and she and Michiru gently lifted the case off of
> the carousel. "You'll always have us to point you back in the right
> direction, Usagi-chan."
JOSH : [Haruka] And to laugh behind your back the entire time!
> A balding man with red hair wearing a patched suit came up to them
> once they exited the airport.
FRANK : And let there be Weasley!
ALL : HUZZAH!
> "Are you the Senshi?"
MARY JO: [Usagi] No, we're the friggin' Spice Girls! Of course,
we're the Senshi!
TRACE : [Arthur] Splendid! We can start off by explaining to me
what the bloody hell a "senshi" is!
> Minako smiled. "We are. You must be the person from the Ministry of
> Magic."
>
> The man smiled and nodded. "I'm Arthur Weasley, I work in the
> Misuse of Muggle artefacts department. I've been instructed to give
> you all a ride to the Leaky Cauldron."
JOEL : Why is he taking them to a tavern, first?
FRANK : Someone call British Chris Hansen!
> He opened the door of the rather small car. Chibiusa peered in
> dubiously.
JOSH : [Chibiusa] You couldn't spring for a limo? An Escalade?
A shined-up mini-van? We get stuck with Mr. Bean's car? Way to
treat honored guests, Britain!
> "Will we all fit?"
>
> Arthur smiled and nodded.
TRACE : [Arthur] Once I've had you all butcher-DAAAAAA, I MEAN....
> "I've had the car-er-enhanced. This is the family car, so would you
> mind not mentioning this to my wife, Molly?"
>
> Setsuna smiled. "Of course."
MARY JO: [Pluto] Still don't know why I'm here, but whatever.
Sixteen is the AOC in Britain, right?
> Harry was having a perfectly horrible Dursley holiday, as per
> usual. They didn't lock him in his room, not with the fear that
> Sirius might come and turn them all into toads at Harry's wish, but
> they did their best to otherwise make Harry's life horrid.
FRANK : Of course, once Harry turns legal, they are so very very
fucked!
> Harry rose one morning in July , shortly before his sixteenth
> birthday. He yawned and looked up, realising that Hedwig was
> waiting on top of her cage with a letter in her beak. Harry took
> the letter and, giving Hedwig a grateful pat, put her in her cage.
> He recognised Hermione's neat handwriting immediately. He opened
> the piece of parchment. It had only two words on it.
JOEL : [Harry] "It's blue?" What does that me... OHSHI~!
> "They're here!"
TRACE : And having no idea who "they" are, he went back to sleep.
> Harry smiled. Maybe this year at Hogwarts wouldn't be so bad.
JOSH : "Tempting Fate" for 1000, Alex!
> Rei looked up at the small pub.
>
> "This is the Leaky Cauldron?"
MARY JO: [Rei] I've taken dumps on the floor of better dives than
this.
> She turned to Arthur. "It doesn't look at all out of the ordinary."
>
> Arthur smiled. "Step inside."
JOEL : [Arthur] And never mind the smell.
> The nine or so girls stepped inside and they were immediately
> bombarded with witches and wizards coming up and shaking their
> hands.
FRANK : So a bunch of people who probably couldn't find Japan on a
map all know who Sailor friggin’ Moon is?
TRACE : What can you say? They're big in the British Isles!
> The Leaky Cauldron hadn't seen such excitement since the first
> time Harry Potter himself had stepped into it.
JOSH : The child hero of the first big Wizarding war, bunch of
Technicolor bims from Japan: Totally the same thing!
> After a few moments, the keeper waded through the excited throng
> and guided the girls up to their respective rooms. He smiled.
MARY JO: [Keeper] Oh, yes! The spy cams will be busy tonight!
> "Rubeus Hagrid will be here in the morning to show you around
> Diagon Alley."
JOEL : [Keeper] Arthur will be there to explain what the hell
Hagrid is talking about.
> Usagi involuntarily shuddered. This Hagrid, whoever he was, had a
> name that reminded her a little too much of a certain red-headed
> Dark Kingdom agent back home.
JOSH : Oh, "Rubeus". Right. ...Which one was he again?
TRACE : He was the one with the brightly colored hair who wanted
to destroy and/or screw Sailor Moon.
JOSH : Oh, thanks. That narrows it down.
> The keeper told them when supper would be ready and advised them to
> get much sleep: they'd all need it. Arthur grinned.
FRANK : [Arthur] We are taking you girls to the mat, tomorrow!
> "I daresay my sons and daughter will all be by to meet you, not to
> mention their friends."
MARY JO: [Arthur] Of course, they think you're Puffy Ami Yumi, so
expect some confusion.
> "How many people are we talking about?" Makoto asked nervously.
> Arthur smiled reassuringly. "Six people, tops; my twin sons, Fred
> and George, my other son Ron, my daughter Ginny, and Ron's friends,
> Harry and Hermione."
TRACE : You just guaranteed that "six" will turn into "a busload."
> Minako smiled as well. "That will be fine."
>
> Arthur sighed and looked at the clock. "Time for me to go. My wife
> will be expecting me."
>
> He waved goodbye and disappeared down the stairs-literally.
> Everyone blinked a few times.
>
> "Wow!" Chibiusa said.
MARY JO: [Chibiusa] Why the hell couldn't he have done that with
us? Asshole!
> "When will we learn to do that??"
JOEL : On the 31st of Never, I believe.
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