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From: arleneh%tekecs.tek.com@RELAY.CS.NET (Arlene D. Hills)
Newsgroups: comp.society.women
Subject: giving aid (was Re: Women Wizards)
Message-ID: <11838@agate.BERKELEY.EDU>
Date: 7 Jul 88 22:44:18 GMT
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I'd like to share my reflections on Marcia's comment about giving aid:
as a woman I not only encounter a lot of "Let me do X for you", but
I (used to) expect it... it wasn't until after I had been in industry
a while that I realized that I needed to develop more of a "show me"
attitude, rather than allowing or encouraging others, especially
men, to do something for me.  I've done that somewhat, but it's still
difficult if someone starts to "do something" to change course and
get them to show me.

Some of it has to do with the situation in which I grew up, I think
(middle class WASP family in a small town), and some may be personal
(my own mental block about anything mechanical), but again, did I
learn those or was I born that way (or a little of both)?

Anyway, it's not only the one who gives aid who may unconsciously
respond differently, but a female receiver may unconsciously have 
different expectations than a male receiver.

for what (0.02?) it's worth...

Arlene
--
Arlene D. Hills, Tektronix			Platform Software Sustaining
PO Box 1000, MS 61-215, Wilsonville, OR 97070   Graphics Workstation Division
arleneh@menolly.GWD.TEK.COM  (503) 685-2990