Path: utzoo!attcan!uunet!lll-winken!lll-tis!ames!pasteur!agate!sri-unix!maslak@decwrl.dec.com From: sri-unix!maslak@decwrl.dec.com (Valerie Maslak) Newsgroups: comp.society.women Subject: Re: giving aid (was Re: Women Wizards) Message-ID: <12004@agate.BERKELEY.EDU> Date: 11 Jul 88 18:54:11 GMT References: <11734@agate.BERKELEY.EDU> <11838@agate.BERKELEY.EDU> Sender: usenet@agate.BERKELEY.EDU Organization: SRI, Menlo Park, CA. Lines: 30 Approved: skyler@violet.berkeley.edu (Moderator -- Trish Roberts) Comments-to: comp-women-request@cs.purdue.edu Submissions-to: comp-women@cs.purdue.edu In article <11838@agate.BERKELEY.EDU> arleneh%tekecs.tek.com@RELAY.CS.NET (Arlene D. Hills) writes: >Anyway, it's not only the one who gives aid who may unconsciously >respond differently, but a female receiver may unconsciously have >different expectations than a male receiver. Arlene has hit the nail right on the head. Several years ago, my now-ex sister-in-law went to work for IBM in Poughkeepsie, as a manager, in a technical area. She had a master's in CS and was VERY bright, which was why they hired her, of course. But things were, as manager, she was the only woman in her area. That didn't bother her; she'd been in classes with mostly men, and always had men bosses in her other jobs anyway. Anyway, she was telling me about her first few months on the job, and said that everything was wonderful, all the men in her group (her subordinates) had been so helpful, they always were so willing to take time to help her, give her advice, tell her how things should be done. I took a deep breath and asked her how it went when SHE was the one giving the advice or telling THEM how things should be done. She was quiet for a long time. As Ms. Magazine used to say, "Click." Valerie Maslak