Path: utzoo!attcan!uunet!lll-winken!lll-tis!helios.ee.lbl.gov!pasteur!agate!arleneh%tekecs.tek.com@RELAY.CS.NET From: arleneh%tekecs.tek.com@RELAY.CS.NET (Arlene D. Hills) Newsgroups: comp.society.women Subject: giving aid (was Re: Women Wizards) Message-ID: <11838@agate.BERKELEY.EDU> Date: 7 Jul 88 22:44:18 GMT References: <11734@agate.BERKELEY.EDU> Sender: usenet@agate.BERKELEY.EDU Organization: Tektronix, Inc. Wilsonville, OR Lines: 26 Approved: skyler@violet.berkeley.edu (Moderator -- Trish Roberts) Comments-to: comp-women-request@cs.purdue.edu Submissions-to: comp-women@cs.purdue.edu I'd like to share my reflections on Marcia's comment about giving aid: as a woman I not only encounter a lot of "Let me do X for you", but I (used to) expect it... it wasn't until after I had been in industry a while that I realized that I needed to develop more of a "show me" attitude, rather than allowing or encouraging others, especially men, to do something for me. I've done that somewhat, but it's still difficult if someone starts to "do something" to change course and get them to show me. Some of it has to do with the situation in which I grew up, I think (middle class WASP family in a small town), and some may be personal (my own mental block about anything mechanical), but again, did I learn those or was I born that way (or a little of both)? Anyway, it's not only the one who gives aid who may unconsciously respond differently, but a female receiver may unconsciously have different expectations than a male receiver. for what (0.02?) it's worth... Arlene -- Arlene D. Hills, Tektronix Platform Software Sustaining PO Box 1000, MS 61-215, Wilsonville, OR 97070 Graphics Workstation Division arleneh@menolly.GWD.TEK.COM (503) 685-2990