Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/5/84; site reed.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!houxm!vax135!cornell!uw-beaver!tektronix!reed!ellen From: ellen@reed.UUCP (Ellen Eades) Newsgroups: net.women Subject: Re: Re: Rape (The nature of Reality) Message-ID: <2073@reed.UUCP> Date: Wed, 30-Oct-85 01:22:28 EST Article-I.D.: reed.2073 Posted: Wed Oct 30 01:22:28 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 2-Nov-85 02:19:16 EST References: <1073@ubc-vision.UUCP> Organization: Reed College, Portland, Oregon Lines: 43 >> It is sad that Ellen feels that way, it is also sad that the >> many are >> damned with the few. But, what is the alternative to suspicion? >> >> Charlie Sorsby > The solution is NOT to mistrust everyone because that would lead to a > highly paranoid society... > The best measure you usually have is to simply listen to the overall > impression of them that you form over time. There is always something > behind words and actions of people. If you listen hard enough, it will > come through. But before you can hear, you have to quite down the > noise inside you. > > Farzin Mokhtarian While I admire Farzin's optimism about all our detective abilities, I can't bring myself to agree with him. I don't believe that everyone can gain an accurate impression of a person all the time; people and the pressures upon them change, and pressures influence behavior among other things. If I decide to date a man who, under certain very stressful conditions, has the potential to hit me, I may not know it till it happens. This can certainly happen with men who are potential rapists. Also, Farzin's posting does not even address the problem of rape by a new acquaintance; the guy who walks you home from a party, or the phone repairman who comes inside to test the line, or whatever. And as for my mistrusting everyone (or at least all men), I refer Farzin to Jeff Lichtman's well-worded reply to Ray on that subject. It's not that I go around my life looking at everyone with a penis and expecting that at some point it will be used against me; it's just that I live my life in a way that doesn't discount that possibility. And, as Charlie says above, I've found no comfortable alternative. Enough said, anyway. Ellen Eades -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - "Who's been repeating all that hard stuff to you?" "I read it in a book," said Alice. - - - - - - - - - - - - - tektronix!reed!ellen