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From: ellen@reed.UUCP (Ellen Eades)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Re: Rape (The nature of Reality)
Message-ID: <2073@reed.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 30-Oct-85 01:22:28 EST
Article-I.D.: reed.2073
Posted: Wed Oct 30 01:22:28 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 2-Nov-85 02:19:16 EST
References: <1073@ubc-vision.UUCP>
Organization: Reed College, Portland, Oregon
Lines: 43

>> It is sad that Ellen feels that way, it is also sad that the 
>> many are
>> damned with the few. But, what is the alternative to suspicion?
>>  
>> Charlie Sorsby
 
> The solution is NOT to mistrust everyone because that would lead to a 
> highly paranoid society... 
> The best measure you usually have is to simply listen to the overall 
> impression of them that you form over time. There is always something 
> behind words and actions of people. If you listen hard enough, it will
> come through.  But before you can hear, you have to quite down the 
> noise inside you.
>    
>    Farzin Mokhtarian
 
While I admire Farzin's optimism about all our detective
abilities, I can't bring myself to agree with him.  I don't
believe that everyone can gain an accurate impression of a
person all the time; people and the pressures upon them change,
and pressures influence behavior among other things.  If I
decide to date a man who, under certain very stressful
conditions, has the potential to hit me, I may not know it till
it happens.  This can certainly happen with men who are
potential rapists.  Also, Farzin's posting does not even address
the problem of rape by a new acquaintance; the guy who walks you
home from a party, or the phone repairman who comes inside to
test the line, or whatever.  And as for my mistrusting everyone
(or at least all men), I refer Farzin to Jeff Lichtman's
well-worded reply to Ray on that subject.  It's not that I go
around my life looking at everyone with a penis and expecting
that at some point it will be used against me; it's just that I
live my life in a way that doesn't discount that possibility.  
And, as Charlie says above, I've found no comfortable alternative. 
Enough said, anyway.  

Ellen Eades
-- 
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	"Who's been repeating all that hard stuff to you?"
	"I read it in a book," said Alice.
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	tektronix!reed!ellen