Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site pyuxd.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!gamma!pyuxww!pyuxd!rlr From: rlr@pyuxd.UUCP (Rich Rosen) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: what is a yuppie Message-ID: <2017@pyuxd.UUCP> Date: Sat, 2-Nov-85 16:04:43 EST Article-I.D.: pyuxd.2017 Posted: Sat Nov 2 16:04:43 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 3-Nov-85 08:55:52 EST References: <1454@hound.UUCP> Organization: Whatever we're calling ourselves this week Lines: 82 At this time, it seems appropriate to re-post an article about a NEW classification. Not yuppies (not even guppies). Gruppies. (Especially in light of Rich Ganns' words: > A "yuppie" is someone who.... > > 1. has pissed off all his/her counter-culture school buddies > (who are now washing cars and picking daffodils for a living) > by copping out and "going straight"--I mean, it's like, > IMMORAL to make ALL THAT MONEY (and what's worse, to have > FUN doing it); ------------------------------------------------------------------ > No, no no. Gay yuppies are referred to as "guppies". > Richard Johnson Apple Computer, Inc. Which leads into yet another new classification: the GRUPPIES. What are gruppies, you ask? Well, if a large percentage of the yuppie population consists of slightly overaged ex-hippies who have discarded the college days hippie value system in favor of a more middle-class variety, then the gruppies are the ones who want both the middle-class life AND the old days of their misspent youth. Examples of contrasts: Yuppies own BMWs, Volvos, etc. Gruppies still own the same beat-up VW Bug. Yuppies listen to Fleetwood Mac, Lionel Ritchie, Kenny Rogers, etc. Gruppies still listen to the Grateful Dead. Yuppies do cocaine. Gruppies are still doing whatever it was they were doing 15 years ago. (Even if they've abstained, they still have the flashbacks) Yuppie stereo systems contain the finest audiophile components in sleekly designed rack-mounted cabinets. Gruppies may have the same sorts of systems, but they are mounted on wooden boards supported by cinder blocks. (Under which they keep their Grateful Dead albums.) Yuppie residences contain all sorts of modern furniture. Gruppie residences contain the same furniture used back when they were in school, loaned (?) to them by their parents. Yuppies eat Le Menu's cooked in their microwaves. Gruppies eat only that which is "organic". Like Fritos. Yuppie bookshelves are stocked with tomes like "Megatrends", "In Search of Excellence", "The One Minute Manager", and "How to Make a Killing in the Stock Market" Gruppie bookshelves (also consisting of wooden boards supported by cinder blocks) contain books like "Sun Signs", "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance", "Steal This Book". And "How to Make a Killing in the Stock Market". Yuppies live in condos or townhouses, or they rent apartments. Gruppies rent houses. Yuppies play Trivial Pursuit. Gruppies meditate. Yuppies play racquetball. Gruppies meditate. Yuppies sometimes light candles at dinnertime. Gruppies burn incense. An important yuppie life decision might be "Should I get a microwave oven or a VCR?" An important gruppie life decision might be "Should I go to work?" --- So where do I fit into my own classifications, you may ask? Well, I own a VCR, but it sits on a wooden board supported by cinder blocks. And I don't own a microwave. Which means that, in my conventional oven, it takes a lot longer for the Le Menu's to cook. -- "I was walking down the street. A man came up to me and asked me what was the capital of Bolivia. I hesitated. Three sailors jumped me. The next thing I knew I was making chicken salad." "I don't believe that for a minute. Everyone knows the capital of Bolivia is La Paz." Rich Rosen pyuxd!rlr