Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.3 4.3bsd-beta 6/6/85; site unirot.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!caip!topaz!unirot!pooh From: pooh@unirot.UUCP (Pooh) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: The "Reality" of Electronic Communication Message-ID: <186@unirot.UUCP> Date: Sat, 9-Nov-85 11:14:37 EST Article-I.D.: unirot.186 Posted: Sat Nov 9 11:14:37 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 10-Nov-85 16:26:32 EST References: <917@cvl.UUCP> <352@whuts.UUCP> <11@ttidcc.UUCP> <1617@teddy.UUCP> Distribution: net Organization: The Soup Kitchen, Piscataway NJ Lines: 41 Summary: Two things equal to the same thing do not always equal each other. Right on, Larry! As another net.vet (that's veteran, as in electronic wars, not veterinarian, as in GET BACK, YOU ANIMALS!), I believe that electronic relationships DO exist, are valid, are real, etc. etc. However, they cannot be confused with the relationship you have with that person you met in the Schwab's Drug Store. You can achieve a wonderful intellectual and emotional intimacy through sending email messages every day for months. In some ways, it can be more communicative than with someone you "date" and are still too distracted by to put four sentences together. :-) It is very easy to get drawn into feeling that this is The Relationship you've been waiting for, if only you were in the same city, or even on the same side of the country. . . So much for Great Expectations. Once you meet, you're more or less got to start building the relationship from scratch, going through all the conventional stages that everyone else does. Gee, I didn't realize his hair was so. . .curly. Funny, she sounded taller on the phone. . . So, how was your plane trip? Fine, fine. . . What do you do about it? How do you keep from mooning over your terminal and at the same time foster good friendships? Meet each other. Keep in touch, visit when you're in the area, have dinner. Maintain the *actual* elements of the friendships. I've met a lot of people this way, and while some of them were disappointments (mutual or otherwise), I would call the rest of them *real* friendships by all senses of the word. I've gotten SO's this way, friends, a job, and even a housemate. The key, as always, is to keep a tight grip on your perspective. . . Cheers, Pooh topaz!unipress!pooh topaz!unirot!pooh "Never trust a smiling tech writer."