Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site mit-vax.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!harvard!think!mit-eddie!mit-vax!oaf From: oaf@mit-vax.UUCP (Oded Feingold) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: scars - permanent hurt Message-ID: <1065@mit-vax.UUCP> Date: Sat, 2-Nov-85 11:33:24 EST Article-I.D.: mit-vax.1065 Posted: Sat Nov 2 11:33:24 1985 Date-Received: Tue, 5-Nov-85 05:28:37 EST Organization: MIT, Cambridge, MA Lines: 29 In answer to Bill Ingogly's apparent distinctions among Memory, Scars and Permanent Hurt and the advisability (maturity?) of same I have "permanent hurt" over unkind things I did in the past, and though I don't enjoy it I feel it's due me. The recipients of such unpleasantnesses have mainly forgiven or forgotten them, though in the fullness of time some have died or I've lost track of them. So I've squandered my opportunities to make it up to them, or at least acknowledge and apologize for past sins. I don't think that makes me a happier person, though I suspect it makes me more attentive. I try to consider how I might hurt others by word and action, and avoid same. Good for the pride, if nothing else. (Maybe it DOES make me happier.) I would NOT wipe away that "permanent hurt." It's part of my identity, and I operate fairly comfortably within that constraint. I don't think such an attitude is age-dependent, since I've felt it a long time. But I suspect that age brings the wisdom (or memory) to recognize when you've done something unkind, and the guts to (try to) do something about it before the chance slips away. [I didn't dwell on injustices others did me. They hardly matter - the one who hurts me best is me, by a very large margin.] -- Oded Feingold MIT AI Lab. 545 Tech Square Cambridge, Mass. 02139 OAF%OZ@MIT-MC.ARPA {harvard, ihnp4!mit-eddie}!mitvax!oaf 617-253-8598