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From: wmartin@brl-tgr.ARPA (Will Martin )
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: trusting men, Ellen & Ray...
Message-ID: <2963@brl-tgr.ARPA>
Date: Thu, 7-Nov-85 13:40:36 EST
Article-I.D.: brl-tgr.2963
Posted: Thu Nov  7 13:40:36 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 9-Nov-85 04:54:50 EST
References: <97@utastro.UUCP> <2062@reed.UUCP> <89@birtch.UUCP>
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In article <89@birtch.UUCP> oleg@birtch.UUCP (Oleg Kiselev x268) writes:
>I use word "RAPE" for a situation in which a participant is taking part
>in a sexual act against her/his will.

I get the impression that the following situation would be described as
or qualify as "rape" by the poster of the above:

Scene = married couple in bed together --
Husband: "Hey, honey, let's..." [puts hand on her arm]
Wife: "Nah, I don't feel like it..."
Husband [whiningly]: "Aw, c'mon..."
Wife [resignedly]: "Oh, OK..."
And they have sex.

There is no physical force; the wife agrees to grant access to sex in
order to avoid later recrimination or argument or just to shut him up
and get it all over with. One could probably characterize this as
"psychological blackmail" or any of a string of pejorative or neutral
terms, depending on what you point you want to make...

Using this sort of criteria, I would guess that EVERY non-virgin of any
sex has been "raped" at least once. Most males wouldn't admit it,
feeling (probably unconsciously) that they have a macho image of "always
being ready for sex" to perpetuate, but I think it works both ways. I
will freely accept that it is much more likely that the woman would be the
one cajoled, though.

I don't think much of this sort of usage of the term "rape". It becomes
overused and therefore loses its impact and seriousness. If you really
DO care about rape, you shouldn't dilute the severity or the
horrendousness of it by applying the term too widely or too generally. I
feel that feminists who toss the term about too readily do just that,
and therefore act in a self-defeating manner. (So, too, does anyone
else doing so, but it seems most publicized [and therefore having the
greatest ill-effect] when done by feminists.)

You certainly can use the language any way you want, but you should take
some thought to avoiding the weakening of your own tenets and position
by being careless with the terminology. Too much of such dilution, and
the reaction to statements about rape will degenerate into "so what?
every woman claims she's been raped these days..." -- and THEN how will
you inspire the emotional committment necessary to fight this? "Rape"
still is a powerful word to the general public; it is much less powerful
to those who have been exposed to it repeatedly (like those of us
reading this newsgroup, or those who read the magazines and books of the
feminist genre). It would be wise to stop this weakening before it
becomes general and reduces the effect on the uninitiated, because what
else will you have to replace it when it loses its impact?

Will