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From: tp@ndm20
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: Orphaned Response
Message-ID: <1600008@ndm20>
Date: Fri, 25-Oct-85 12:00:00 EST
Article-I.D.: ndm20.1600008
Posted: Fri Oct 25 12:00:00 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 10-Nov-85 08:16:22 EST
References: <816@nmtvax.UUCP>
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Nf-ID: #R:nmtvax.UUCP:-81600:ndm20:1600008:000:3452
Nf-From: ndm20!tp    Oct 25 07:00:00 1985


I'll take a stab at these.  Warning:  my  first child  is now rapidly
approaching 2 years old, so  I am  not exactly  an old  hand at this.
I'm hoping to benefit from the ensuing discussion myself.  

>Other questions:
>
>If any children I have are gifted, should I allow privileges and rights
>by calendar age or by the age they exhibit themselves as?

This is a toughie.  The seemingly obvious answer is to  give them all
the freedom and responsibility they can handle, thus  giving you more
time to  educate them  in such  things before  they grow  up and stop
listening.  However, a kid with markedly more freedom and
responsibility could have  trouble with  his peers  depending on what
type of person he associates with.  In general, I'd  say calendar age
is not a good way to do it, but watch for any signs that he is having
trouble with peers for being different (children can be very cruel to
a kid who is perceived as different.  

>It is my feeling that the "blackboard jungle" would corrupt any child.
>I don't want my children, should I have any, become John Q. Public,
>easily manipulated by peers, press, and experimental teaching styles.
>Would it be advisable to have a child tutored at home by professionals
>( ie. engineers, scientists, linguists ) and have him/her take the GRE
>early?

Carefully  consider  your  child's  social  education.    Learning to
interact  with  peers  is  one of  school's important  functions.  My
father was  advanced in  grade and  refused to  allow my  to be moved
ahead for precisely that reason.  To this date I think he made a wise
decision.   If  you can  not trust  your local  public school system,
consider moving or sending your children to private  school.  Beware,
with private school, that your children may not have  many friends in
their  neighborhood,  unless  you live  in a  neighborhood where many
children  go to  that same  private school.   See  the above comments
about children perceived as different.  

As an aside, this lack of  social education  may explain  some of the
mental instability in your family.  You say that high intelligence is
a  factor.   I have  heard that  high intelligence  correlates with a
higher incidence of mental illness, but so does difficulty in dealing
with  people.    If  your  intelligent ancestors  have been typically
advance many years in grade, or had tutors, they will have had little
chance  to  interact  socially  with  their  peers, and  may not have
learned to cope with people.  Even  casual relationships  can be very
stressful to such  a person.   Such  stress, and  the loneliness that
ensues from the lack of satisfying relationships,  can easily account
for  mental  instability,  especially  various  forms  of depression,
paranoia, and psychosis (if you think a paranoid is  only someone who
thinks the world is out to get him, look it up).  

I am only an armchair psychologist, but I speak in part from personal
experience.  

>I guess these are silly questions that only exhibit to all that perhaps
>I should wait until my mid-forties until I get married.

The fact that you are thinking of such topics well  before the issues
arise  indicate  that  you  will  probably  be  a responsible parent,
something the world seems sorely lacking in today...  

Terry Poot
Nathan D. Maier Consulting Engineers
(214)739-4741
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