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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!uwmcsd1!dave
From: dave@uwmcsd1.UUCP (Dave Rasmussen)
Newsgroups: net.bicycle,net.jokes,net.legal
Subject: Typical Monday Morning?
Message-ID: <578@uwmcsd1.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 29-Oct-85 16:51:00 EST
Article-I.D.: uwmcsd1.578
Posted: Tue Oct 29 16:51:00 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 30-Oct-85 07:35:42 EST
Distribution: net
Organization: U of Wi-Milwaukee, Computing Services Div
Lines: 41
Xref: watmath net.bicycle:1809 net.jokes:14668 net.legal:2510

*** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR stolen property **

Yesterday, a Monday when everything is supposed to go wrong anyway, I
wandered in to work late in the afternoon (hoping it was closer to tuesday
when things would get better, fer shur). I'm a commuter and usually park
the car and ride a cheap but functional 3-speed bike the rest of the way,
which I just haul in the back of my van. The bike is a junker 3-speed that I
bought for $15 at a police auction, unclaimed stolen property.

This week I had left it locked outside the building, and as I approached it
yesterday an attached note said: "If you want your bike back give us a call.
UW Police Dept." And I notice that not only is my Master U lock on it, but
they have one on it as well. ($15 bike with $50 worth of locks on it).

Wondering whether I should just take my lock and forget the bike, I call the
cops and 5 minutes later two BIG cops are outside my office with all my
co-workers peeking around the office dividers.

COPS: "Are you Dave Rasmussen?"
Me:(dumbshit): "Yea"
COPS: "Where did you buy this bike?"
Me:(getting a bit worried): "From the City Police Dept."
COPS: (Now thinking I'm some sort of smart ass) "Do you have a receipt?"
Me:(thinking about police brutality cases): "I paid $15 cash for it".

Well, I guess cops have some sense. Why would a modestly employed student
steal a piece of junk bike and park it where everyone could see it. So
they escorted me around campus (so everyone could see what a dangerous
person I am) and took the bike as evidence.

I guess the City cops had some record of where I got it, and gave the bike
back to me, cause the owner didn't want the piece of junk.

The moral of this story is: Don't buy anything from the cops, and if you
do make damn sure you have a record of it, that is if it's a legit purchase.

-- 
AT&T: (414) 963-5133                       {The views above may or may}  `O_o'
ARPA: uwmcsd1!dave@wisc-rsch.ARPA          {not reflect the views of any} ( )
UUCP: ..!{ihnp4,uwvax!uwmacc}!uwmcsd1!dave {other person or group at UWM}  U
Usnail: Dave Rasmussen, UW-Milw CSD, Box413, Milwaukee WI 53201. :-)  Ack Phft!