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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!cca!inmet!mazur
From: mazur@inmet.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Offensive to Jew. aAm. Princesses
Message-ID: <4500176@inmet.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 27-Oct-85 17:30:00 EST
Article-I.D.: inmet.4500176
Posted: Sun Oct 27 17:30:00 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 31-Oct-85 23:38:35 EST
Lines: 54
Nf-ID: #N:inmet:4500176:000:1409
Nf-From: inmet!mazur    Oct 27 17:30:00 1985


Due to a recent request for JAP (that's Jewish American Princess) jokes
in net.jokes.d, here is my collection.  Please send (or post) any you
know that you don't see here.  Thanks,

Beth Mazur
{ihnp4,ima,harpo}!inmet!mazur



How many j.a.p.s does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two, one to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call Daaaaddy.

What does a j.a.p. make for dinner?
Reservations.

Why does a j.a.p. wear a gold diaphragm?
So her boyfriend will think he is coming into money.

What is a j.a.p.'s favorite wine? 
I want to go to Miaaaaammmmmiiiii.

What three words will a j.a.p. never hear?
"Attention K-mart shoppers"

Why does a j.a.p. close her eyes during sex?
So she can fantasize about shopping.

What is a j.a.p.'s favorite sexual position?
Facing Bloomingdale's.

How can you tell when a j.a.p. has an orgasm?
She drops her nail file.

What's the difference between Jell-o and a j.a.p.?
Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.

What do you call a j.a.p.'s waterbed?
The Dead Sea (Lake Placid is also OK).

How can you tell if a j.a.p.'s a nymphomaniac?
She'll make love the same day she has her hair done.

What is foreplay for a j.a.p.?
Thirty minutes of begging.

What did the j.a.p. say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase?
Oh, Daaaaddy, it's ok, I'm not hurt.

What's a j.a.p.'s idea of natural childbirth?
No makeup.

What's the difference between a j.a.p. and a barracuda?
Nail polish.