Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: Notesfiles $Revision: 1.6.2.16 $; site inmet.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!cca!inmet!mazur From: mazur@inmet.UUCP Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Offensive to Jew. aAm. Princesses Message-ID: <4500176@inmet.UUCP> Date: Sun, 27-Oct-85 17:30:00 EST Article-I.D.: inmet.4500176 Posted: Sun Oct 27 17:30:00 1985 Date-Received: Thu, 31-Oct-85 23:38:35 EST Lines: 54 Nf-ID: #N:inmet:4500176:000:1409 Nf-From: inmet!mazur Oct 27 17:30:00 1985 Due to a recent request for JAP (that's Jewish American Princess) jokes in net.jokes.d, here is my collection. Please send (or post) any you know that you don't see here. Thanks, Beth Mazur {ihnp4,ima,harpo}!inmet!mazur How many j.a.p.s does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call Daaaaddy. What does a j.a.p. make for dinner? Reservations. Why does a j.a.p. wear a gold diaphragm? So her boyfriend will think he is coming into money. What is a j.a.p.'s favorite wine? I want to go to Miaaaaammmmmiiiii. What three words will a j.a.p. never hear? "Attention K-mart shoppers" Why does a j.a.p. close her eyes during sex? So she can fantasize about shopping. What is a j.a.p.'s favorite sexual position? Facing Bloomingdale's. How can you tell when a j.a.p. has an orgasm? She drops her nail file. What's the difference between Jell-o and a j.a.p.? Jell-o wiggles when you eat it. What do you call a j.a.p.'s waterbed? The Dead Sea (Lake Placid is also OK). How can you tell if a j.a.p.'s a nymphomaniac? She'll make love the same day she has her hair done. What is foreplay for a j.a.p.? Thirty minutes of begging. What did the j.a.p. say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase? Oh, Daaaaddy, it's ok, I'm not hurt. What's a j.a.p.'s idea of natural childbirth? No makeup. What's the difference between a j.a.p. and a barracuda? Nail polish.