Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84 exptools; site whuts.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!whuxl!whuts!amc
From: amc@whuts.UUCP (Andy Cohill)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: The "Reality" of Electronic Communication
Message-ID: <369@whuts.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 12-Nov-85 08:29:36 EST
Article-I.D.: whuts.369
Posted: Tue Nov 12 08:29:36 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 13-Nov-85 21:06:16 EST
References: <917@cvl.UUCP> <352@whuts.UUCP> <11@ttidcc.UUCP> <1617@teddy.UUCP>
Distribution: net
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories
Lines: 35

> there is little threat of immediate negative feedback, it is also
> possible to say things via writing that you would find very difficult
> to say face-to-face.
> ...  I think that an important part of building a
> real relationship is the development of a reflexive feeling a trust
> between the two people.  That's not an intellectual trust, but a deep
> seated emotional trust.  This sort of trust is not built thru
> intellectual processes, but thru low level emotional ones, the kind
> that are only activated thru personal contact.
> ...The social skills of the net DO NOT CARRY OVER.

> Larry Kolodney     (INTERNET) lkk@mit-mc.arpa

Hear, hear. I think that the net is a terrific thing, but I see as
mostly a good place to be exposed to new ideas, not as a place to
meet people (although that does happen). Call me old-fashioned, but
I communicate with my close friends by hand, with a piece of paper
and a pen. The physical act of writing is a wonderful filter--the
work involved in writing makes me thing a lot longer about what I
want to say and how I want to say it. Also, it tends to make you
concentrate more on the things that really important to you.

Lest anyone wonder, I am a touch typist, so it is not that I write
things out longhand because I can't type.

Even the telephone is better than email. I can learn so much more
about someone by *listening* to them than I can by reading their
email. I particularly pay attention to their laughter and the sound
of their smile, and the wretched email smiley face is no substitute.

Email certainly expands the potential for communication, but I will
writing to *my* friends in longhand as long as I am able...

Best regards,
Andy Cohill    {allegra|ihnp4}houxm!whuxl!whuts!amc