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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!brl-tgr!wmartin
From: wmartin@brl-tgr.ARPA (Will Martin )
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: catching up (being attached)
Message-ID: <2923@brl-tgr.ARPA>
Date: Wed, 6-Nov-85 15:14:59 EST
Article-I.D.: brl-tgr.2923
Posted: Wed Nov  6 15:14:59 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 8-Nov-85 08:26:39 EST
References: <677@ihlts.UUCP>
Distribution: net
Organization: USAMC ALMSA, St. Louis, MO
Lines: 33

In article <677@ihlts.UUCP> rainbow@ihlts.UUCP (Robert) writes:
>Talking about my present status as being attached is awfully presumptious
>and I would find it somewhat rude. Only someone with an oversized ego
>would be so insulting. Nice way to lose a friend or potential friend. 
>How would you feel if you start a conversation with a "hello" and back 
>comes a "sorry, I'm attached"?

Confused, actually, but the example is totally unrealistic. The information is
easily conveyed with no insult or hostility, if you want the other person to
know it. No "presumption" or rudeness is necessary. People either simply use
"we" instead of "I" in a discussion, to indicate they are involved with
someone else, or they use a phrase like "My wife and I" or "my old man
and me" [sic] or work in a reference to spouse or the like. Examples:

Stranger to you in supermarket produce section: "These Jerusalem
Artichokes sure look odd. I wonder if they taste good."

You: "Well, my husband made a really good stir-fry with some a few weeks
ago."       ^^^^^^^^^^

or, at a bar:

"You come here often?" "We usually drop in once a month or so."
                        ^^
In both cases, there is no hostility or termination of the conversation,
but the information is conveyed that the respondee is not [immediately]
available for a relationship/casual sex/a wild weekend in Peoria.

Of course, if you don't want to talk to the person delivering the
opening line, a response of "Crawl off, scumbag!" usually implies an
attitude of discouragement... :-)

Will