Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site brl-tgr.ARPA Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!brl-tgr!wmartin From: wmartin@brl-tgr.ARPA (Will Martin ) Newsgroups: net.women Subject: Re: trusting men, Ellen & Ray... Message-ID: <2963@brl-tgr.ARPA> Date: Thu, 7-Nov-85 13:40:36 EST Article-I.D.: brl-tgr.2963 Posted: Thu Nov 7 13:40:36 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 9-Nov-85 04:54:50 EST References: <97@utastro.UUCP> <2062@reed.UUCP> <89@birtch.UUCP> Distribution: net Organization: USAMC ALMSA, St. Louis, MO Lines: 50 In article <89@birtch.UUCP> oleg@birtch.UUCP (Oleg Kiselev x268) writes: >I use word "RAPE" for a situation in which a participant is taking part >in a sexual act against her/his will. I get the impression that the following situation would be described as or qualify as "rape" by the poster of the above: Scene = married couple in bed together -- Husband: "Hey, honey, let's..." [puts hand on her arm] Wife: "Nah, I don't feel like it..." Husband [whiningly]: "Aw, c'mon..." Wife [resignedly]: "Oh, OK..." And they have sex. There is no physical force; the wife agrees to grant access to sex in order to avoid later recrimination or argument or just to shut him up and get it all over with. One could probably characterize this as "psychological blackmail" or any of a string of pejorative or neutral terms, depending on what you point you want to make... Using this sort of criteria, I would guess that EVERY non-virgin of any sex has been "raped" at least once. Most males wouldn't admit it, feeling (probably unconsciously) that they have a macho image of "always being ready for sex" to perpetuate, but I think it works both ways. I will freely accept that it is much more likely that the woman would be the one cajoled, though. I don't think much of this sort of usage of the term "rape". It becomes overused and therefore loses its impact and seriousness. If you really DO care about rape, you shouldn't dilute the severity or the horrendousness of it by applying the term too widely or too generally. I feel that feminists who toss the term about too readily do just that, and therefore act in a self-defeating manner. (So, too, does anyone else doing so, but it seems most publicized [and therefore having the greatest ill-effect] when done by feminists.) You certainly can use the language any way you want, but you should take some thought to avoiding the weakening of your own tenets and position by being careless with the terminology. Too much of such dilution, and the reaction to statements about rape will degenerate into "so what? every woman claims she's been raped these days..." -- and THEN how will you inspire the emotional committment necessary to fight this? "Rape" still is a powerful word to the general public; it is much less powerful to those who have been exposed to it repeatedly (like those of us reading this newsgroup, or those who read the magazines and books of the feminist genre). It would be wise to stop this weakening before it becomes general and reduces the effect on the uninitiated, because what else will you have to replace it when it loses its impact? Will