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From: barry@ames.UUCP (Kenn Barry)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Nominally Single??? (scars)
Message-ID: <1221@ames.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 25-Oct-85 01:05:58 EST
Article-I.D.: ames.1221
Posted: Fri Oct 25 01:05:58 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 27-Oct-85 10:34:58 EST
References: <1071@trwrdc.UUCP> <490@rti-sel.UUCP>
Organization: NASA-Ames Research Center, Mtn. View, CA
Lines: 30

From Bill Ingogly (rti-sel!wfi):
> In article <1071@trwrdc.UUCP> frith@trwatf.UUCP (Lord Frith) writes:
>>Each person and
>>relationship is unique.  Once finished....  that relationship is ended
>>forever.  When something this precious is lost it should come as no
>>surprise that there is an extended period of morning or even scars that
>>cannot be forgotten.
>
>When the mourning period starts interfering with the rest of your
>life, you've got a problem. Period. Scars that cannot be forgotten are
>going to affect the way you relate to other people, the way you view
>life, and the way you perform your everyday tasks. This is a problem.
>Saying a scar can't be forgotten is surrendering your life to despair
>and/or pain. That's abdicating responsibility for your actions.

	I wonder if using a strong word like "scar" doesn't distort the
situation a little. That we should learn from our mistakes is a commonplace.
That not all lessons are pleasant is equally obvious. I have learned
from romances that did not end happily, and some of the lessons were
painful ones, but I value the insights I've gained the more for being
hard-won. I wouldn't call these "scars".
	I understand Bill Ingogly is talking about something more extreme,
but I am not sure the other side is, and this may be exaggerating the
amount of real disagreement that exists.

-  From the Crow's Nest  -                      Kenn Barry
                                                NASA-Ames Research Center
                                                Moffett Field, CA
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