Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: Notesfiles $Revision: 1.7.0.10 $; site ndm20 Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!uiucdcs!convex!ndm20!tp From: tp@ndm20 Newsgroups: net.kids Subject: Re: Orphaned Response Message-ID: <1600008@ndm20> Date: Fri, 25-Oct-85 12:00:00 EST Article-I.D.: ndm20.1600008 Posted: Fri Oct 25 12:00:00 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 10-Nov-85 08:16:22 EST References: <816@nmtvax.UUCP> Lines: 68 Nf-ID: #R:nmtvax.UUCP:-81600:ndm20:1600008:000:3452 Nf-From: ndm20!tp Oct 25 07:00:00 1985 I'll take a stab at these. Warning: my first child is now rapidly approaching 2 years old, so I am not exactly an old hand at this. I'm hoping to benefit from the ensuing discussion myself. >Other questions: > >If any children I have are gifted, should I allow privileges and rights >by calendar age or by the age they exhibit themselves as? This is a toughie. The seemingly obvious answer is to give them all the freedom and responsibility they can handle, thus giving you more time to educate them in such things before they grow up and stop listening. However, a kid with markedly more freedom and responsibility could have trouble with his peers depending on what type of person he associates with. In general, I'd say calendar age is not a good way to do it, but watch for any signs that he is having trouble with peers for being different (children can be very cruel to a kid who is perceived as different. >It is my feeling that the "blackboard jungle" would corrupt any child. >I don't want my children, should I have any, become John Q. Public, >easily manipulated by peers, press, and experimental teaching styles. >Would it be advisable to have a child tutored at home by professionals >( ie. engineers, scientists, linguists ) and have him/her take the GRE >early? Carefully consider your child's social education. Learning to interact with peers is one of school's important functions. My father was advanced in grade and refused to allow my to be moved ahead for precisely that reason. To this date I think he made a wise decision. If you can not trust your local public school system, consider moving or sending your children to private school. Beware, with private school, that your children may not have many friends in their neighborhood, unless you live in a neighborhood where many children go to that same private school. See the above comments about children perceived as different. As an aside, this lack of social education may explain some of the mental instability in your family. You say that high intelligence is a factor. I have heard that high intelligence correlates with a higher incidence of mental illness, but so does difficulty in dealing with people. If your intelligent ancestors have been typically advance many years in grade, or had tutors, they will have had little chance to interact socially with their peers, and may not have learned to cope with people. Even casual relationships can be very stressful to such a person. Such stress, and the loneliness that ensues from the lack of satisfying relationships, can easily account for mental instability, especially various forms of depression, paranoia, and psychosis (if you think a paranoid is only someone who thinks the world is out to get him, look it up). I am only an armchair psychologist, but I speak in part from personal experience. >I guess these are silly questions that only exhibit to all that perhaps >I should wait until my mid-forties until I get married. The fact that you are thinking of such topics well before the issues arise indicate that you will probably be a responsible parent, something the world seems sorely lacking in today... Terry Poot Nathan D. Maier Consulting Engineers (214)739-4741 Usenet: ...!{allegra|ihnp4}!convex!smu!ndm20!tp CSNET: ndm20!tp@smu ARPA: ndm20!tp%smu@csnet-relay.ARPA