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From: pooh@unirot.UUCP (Pooh)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: The "Reality" of Electronic Communication
Message-ID: <186@unirot.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 9-Nov-85 11:14:37 EST
Article-I.D.: unirot.186
Posted: Sat Nov  9 11:14:37 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 10-Nov-85 16:26:32 EST
References: <917@cvl.UUCP> <352@whuts.UUCP> <11@ttidcc.UUCP> <1617@teddy.UUCP>
Distribution: net
Organization: The Soup Kitchen, Piscataway NJ
Lines: 41
Summary: Two things equal to the same thing do not always equal each other.

Right on, Larry!

As another net.vet (that's veteran, as in electronic wars, not
veterinarian, as in GET BACK, YOU ANIMALS!), I believe that electronic
relationships DO exist, are valid, are real, etc. etc.  

However, they cannot be confused with the relationship you have
with that person you met in the Schwab's Drug Store.

You can achieve a wonderful intellectual and emotional intimacy
through sending email messages every day for months.  In some ways,
it can be more communicative than with someone you "date" and are
still too distracted by to put four sentences together. :-)
It is very easy to get drawn into feeling that this is The Relationship
you've been waiting for, if only you were in the same city, or even
on the same side of the country. . .

So much for Great Expectations.  Once you meet, you're more or less got to
start building the relationship from scratch, going through all the 
conventional stages that everyone else does.  Gee, I didn't realize his
hair was so. . .curly.   Funny, she sounded taller on the phone. . .
So, how was your plane trip?  Fine, fine. . .

What do you do about it?  How do you keep from mooning over your terminal
and at the same time foster good friendships?

Meet each other.  Keep in touch, visit when you're in the area,
have dinner.  Maintain the *actual* elements of the friendships.
I've met a lot of people this way, and while some of them were
disappointments (mutual or otherwise), I would call the rest of them
*real* friendships by all senses of the word.  I've gotten SO's this
way, friends, a job, and even a housemate.

The key, as always, is to keep a tight grip on your perspective. . .

Cheers,
Pooh             topaz!unipress!pooh
                 topaz!unirot!pooh


"Never trust a smiling tech writer."