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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!pucc-j!pucc-i!agy
From: agy@pucc-i (Roscoe)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Hacker's Guide to the Net
Message-ID: <1197@pucc-i>
Date: Mon, 11-Nov-85 14:03:25 EST
Article-I.D.: pucc-i.1197
Posted: Mon Nov 11 14:03:25 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 12-Nov-85 04:57:49 EST
Organization: Somewhere out of mind
Lines: 169



Here are some entries from that net wide hit "The Hacker's Guide to the Net"
Any comments, and/or additional entries would/will be appreciated. 


			    Somewhere, Somehow, Sometimes, 

					Roscoe Rush

                            {harpo,ihnp4,allegra,decvax}!pur-ee!pucc-i!agy  
                            {decwrl}purdue!pur-ee!pucc-i!agy  
                                                 !pucc-k!krs  
                            		         !rush       

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------






 LD(1)		Hacker's Guide					LD(1)

 NAME 
     LD - (abb) Later Days

 SYNOPSIS
    LD

 DESCRIPTION
             commonly used to abbreviate the phrase 'later days'
	     which is used most often as a fare well, or sign off in
	     electronic communication. (i.e. talk, write, ...)
	     It is interesting to note though that the people 
	     found using this phrase most often expect and usually do
	     meet, communicate, and/or offend the party they are speaking 
	     with at least once more before the current day is over. 
	     This is further highlighted by the fact that those people
	     bidding a fare well for a period of time longer than a 
	     day most commonly use the phrase 'goodbye'.
							-RMR

 SEE ALSO
    DL(1), LSD(1), HUNG(1), HANG(1)





 DL(1)		Hacker's Guide					DL(1)

 NAME 
     DL - (abb) Days Later

 SYNOPSIS
    DL

 DESCRIPTION
             commonly used to abbreviate 'Days later' used 
	     most frequently in reponse to LD (see above)
	     The why and hows of this phrase have never been 
	     fully or compleatly explained.  All though some 
	     of the more unusual psychologists of this world 
	     and others are of the opinion that those 
	     bidded a fare well with LD realize that they will
	     in fact meet the offending party much earlier than
	     the implied length of time and being rather narrow 
	     minded and simple they create for themselves the 
	     required time elapse, hence the phrase 'Days Later'.
							-RMR


 SEE ALSO
    LD(1), LSD(1), HUNG(1), HANG(1)






 HANG(1)         Hacker's guide                       HANG(1)

 NAME
     hang - to temporaily place a hold on communications
	  - The action of a period of inactivity
	  - Inquiry

 SYNOPSIS
     hang
     hanging

 DESCRIPTION
     Used quite frequently to denote the action of inactivity 
     over a period of time. as in "The damn program keeps hanging 
     itself".  Of course this is paradoxical as in that the action
     of inactivity is an activity and therefore can not be considered 
     to be in the inactive state. The explanation for this is simple.
     The program/device that is in the process of hanging itself is
     in fact experiencing an acute case a paranoia (for reasons unknown)
     and refuses to finish its assigned task by creating an 
     infinite loop or pause. Naturally the human element involved in
     all of this, takes the whole situation quite personally and blames 
     the deranged program/device for everything from his/her's
     lack of a social life to the communist overthrow of Utah.

     An alternate meaning of HANG is the temporary suspension of 
     of an ongoing conversation/communication. This makes HANG 
     the equivalent to "I am busy at the moment will you hold?" 
     The Party being Hanged usually responds with HUNG (see HUNG(1))
     and then procceeds to reach the point of impatience at a rate 
     exponetial to the amount of time they have currently been hung.
     At this point the Hung party begins taking the whole situation
     personally and starts blaming the hanging party for his/her's 
     lack of a social life and the Communist overthrow of Utah.
     (Note: The editor is not quite sure why the Communist overthrew 
     Utah or exactly when, but believes it to be of some importance
     as everyone seems to mention it alot. )

     A third use of HANG is in the form of an inquiry, i.e. as in
     "How's it hanging?" The usual reponse is "a little to the 
     Left(right)" or the less common response "Its not".
							-RMR

 SEE ALSO
    LD(1), DL(1), LSD(1), HUNG(1)







 HUNG(1)        Hacker's guide                        HUNG(1)

 NAME
     hung - acknowledgement response to hang (see hang(1))

 SYNOPSIS
     hung

 DESCRIPTION
     The most common usage of HUNG is in reponse to HANG
     (see HANG(1)) An equivalant phrase for this would be
     "Yes, I understand that you are busy and really couldn't
     care less, but I will still wait on your sniveling, 
     disgusting self."  It has also been observed that some 
     indivivuals become extremely pleased with themselves to 
     use this phrase in the following context; "I'm HUNG". 
     (Note: The editor believes that this might be a sexually 
     related comment, but couldn't be able to say for sure, 
     being one of those individuals who blame HANGING 
     programs/devices for his lack of a Social life and the 
     Communist overthrow of Utah.)

     Another use of HUNG is in connection with program/devices
     that are in the process of HANGING themselves (see HANG(1))
     the usual usage is "my terminal just hung itself".
     Current theorists beleive that the paranoia of devices/programs
     attempting to HANG themselves becomes so acute that they 
     can acutally succeed and that when they do, they receive an
     almost sadistic pleasure from screwing up their human 
     counterpart/operator as much as is nonhumanly possible. 
     Research into this area of computing has become ever more 
     unpopular and mentally  deranging.
  							-RMR   

  SEE ALSO
     LD(1), DL(1), LSD(1), HANG(1)