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From: moriarty@fluke.UUCP (The Napoleon of Crime)
Newsgroups: net.comics
Subject: "I'm a surgeon, blast it, not a MORIARTY REVIEWS!" (Part I of II).
Message-ID: <2419@colossus.fluke.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 10-Nov-85 21:44:39 EST
Article-I.D.: colossus.2419
Posted: Sun Nov 10 21:44:39 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 13-Nov-85 08:17:20 EST
Distribution: net
Organization: The Institute for Criminal Masterminds
Lines: 149

REVIEWED IN THIS ARTICLE:

FISH POLICE	NIGHTCRAWLER	CROSSFIRE	MIRACLEMAN
JON SABLE	MEGATON MAN	ECHO OF FUTUREPAST
MR. MONSTER	AQUAMAN		JOHNNY NEMO	THE BOZZ CHRONICLES

------------------------------------------------
"There *are* standards.  If you can't see one, you *make* one and stick to
 it come Hell or high water -- until you see a BETTER one."
						-John Gaunt

        "Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *can*
          you believe?!" 
                                -Bullwinkle J. Moose
****************************************************************************
|==>A< One of the best of the year. Example: ZOT #8                        |
|==>B< A very good issue, one of the best of the month (usually 6/month)   |
|==>C< A well done, entertaining issue.  Satisfying.  Example: Jon Sable   |
|==>D< Boring, but with a few good points.  Example: SQUADRON SUPREME      |
|==>F< Boring AND stupid or childish.  Example: Secret Wars.               |
|==>Z< Actually offensive.  Example: Several of Haney's UNKNOWN SOLDIERs   |
****************************************************************************

'MAZING MAN #2 [C-]:

I'm still not sure I like this enough to take it off Probation status;
I'm waiting to see if any of its initial charm will wear off with
frequent readings.  I do, at least, like their cover blurb "Don't Ask
-- Just Buy!".  Seems as if it would be better applied to Secret
Wars, though...

FISH POLICE #1 [D-]:

If you like very weak Maxwell Smart jokes and characters so thin
that anamorphics cannot improve, read this.  Other than dressing
like Mick Belker, this character has no relation to the Hill Street
character.

NIGHTCRAWLER #4 [C-]:

Still not great, but reminds me of an old Wally Wood gag strip. 
Cockrum even seems to have pointed his drawing towards Wood's
style.

CROSSFIRE #15 [C]:

For those of you who'd like a synopsis of Crossfire's origin, this
story will provide it; but it is also an excellent insight issue into
the background of Jay Endicott, and contains Evanier & Spiegle's
usual comic-strip realism (compounded by cameos of Howard
Hughes, Nixon and Ehrlichmann).  The characters, though, are what
make it here; Jay Endicott comes across as one of the "nicest
people" you can find in comics today without ever looking like a
Good Samaritan (capital letters included).

MIRACLEMAN #2 [B]:

OK, I said I wasn't going to go on about something without backing
it up, but, Hey!  What do you want?  This is a comic where Alan
Moore has done more to shake up the super-hero genre than
anything since Stan Lee started the Marvel super-hero line. 
Amazing stuff -- a plot that can knock me on my ass every time I
go over it.  That would be enough for a 'C', but we also have good
dialogue, excellent scripting, involving characters, and slick art. 
I'm glad to hear that this book is selling out IF it means that lots
of people are buying it; if an artificial shortage is being made,
that would be distressing, because THIS is a comic worth reading. 
And re-reading.

JON SABLE #33 [B]:

Sergio Aragones takes Sable's/B.B. Flemm's leprechaun and turns
them into an animated special.  Of course, this is better than
almost any animated special I've ever seen (The Doonesbury
Special is the only one I can think of which excells this one).  In
short, delightful.

MEGATON MAN #6 [C+]:

Well, I could be wrong, but there is almost no mention of the FF
parody characters in this one -- I expected a much smoother
pull-out due to Marvel's legal vultures.  Still, the Hydra take-off is
somehow hilarious even without dialogue.  Simpson can draw with
an inherently funny style, which only a few people can do (some of
the MAD artists, Wally Wood, Joe Orlando, NOT Keith Giffen (he
depends much on Robert Loring Fleming's words)).

ECHO OF FUTERPAST #6 [C]:

About the only anthology comic series I read, it almost always has
well-done artwork, and the stories are adequate.  As a side note,
probably the best color in any comic today (right, so what?).  This
issue has the last installment of Michael Golden's Bucky O'Hare,
but has added on Alex Toth's classic TORPEDO comic in excellent
color.  I wish Tippie-Toe Jones would get back to its normal brand
of weird humor, and leave its current brand of weird humor on the
doorstep...

MR. MONSTER #3 [D+]:

Probably the weakest MM (and the weakest Alan Moore story) I've
ever read.  Doc Stearns is obviously a lampoon on the two-fisted
scientists of the pulps, but there is just so many times that you
can run his dogmatism by the reader before it gets stale.  Not awful,
just not very entertaining.

AQUAMAN #1 [D]:

Beautiful art and an intriguing opening with the Ocean Master, but
it was slowing down to a halt towards the end of the story.  On the
other hand, I've always found this to be a character who would be
much more interesting if he stayed underwater, and avoided the
usual superhero/Swords & Sorcery-style stories -- which seems
to be what they're heading in for here.

JOHNNY NEMO #1 [C-]:

Like Kelvin Mace, but not as funny, and with better artwork. 
Quality-wise (paper, color, printing, etc.) I think Eclipse does just
about the best job -- their comics always look like they care
(notice, also, that they are the ones publishing reprints of so many
of the comic classics...).

THE BOZZ CHRONICLES [D-]:

Ouch.  Double Ouch.  I have been looking forward to this for a LONG
time, and then to see such a great concept for a comic wasted in
just such a manner... I think Jerry gave an accurate summary of
this comic; let me only add that I am VERY disappointed -- I
believe the concept of this comic could have been brought off with
a better writer.  These characters all seem to be stereotypes, with
very little affection for one another; if something could be done
about that, if we see an alien who is befriended and where an
actual friendship is begun, I would have been very happy with this. 
I keep thinking that Claremont would be right for this (if he could
keep away from bondage/posession/Satanism, which seems to be a
redundant point with him...).  Michilene has always been good with
current humor (his IRON MAN'S come to mind), but this is nothing
more than cliche's & cleavage (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, indeed).

                        "Eddie the Mouth was a vicious animal.  But he was
                         one of the old-time vicious animals and as such had
                         some kind of moral code.  It wasn't much of a moral
                         code, but it was better than nothing..."

                                        Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
ARPA: fluke!moriarty@uw-beaver.ARPA
UUCP: {uw-beaver, sun, allegra, sb6, lbl-csam}!fluke!moriarty
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