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From: ins_aeas@jhunix.UUCP (Earle A .Sugar)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Nominally Single???
Message-ID: <1134@jhunix.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 9-Nov-85 01:40:17 EST
Article-I.D.: jhunix.1134
Posted: Sat Nov  9 01:40:17 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 10-Nov-85 17:05:43 EST
References: <1071@trwrdc.UUCP> <490@rti-sel.UUCP> <1079@trwrdc.UUCP> <515@rti-sel.UUCP> <1091@jhunix.UUCP> <530@rti-sel.UUCP>
Organization: The Johns Hopkins University
Lines: 51

> >    If love is common as dirt, I and most of the people I know must be living 
> >in operating rooms.  People don't just turn relationships on and off like a 
> >light bulb.  ...  Finding a partner that is well-matched enough for the 
> >two of you to stick together for a decent amount of time ...  is rather 
> >hard to do, ...
> 
> Most people in contemporary U. S. society marry for love. The marriage
> of convenience and the arranged marriage are rare. Check your statistics:
> how many people in the U. S. have been married at least once by the
> age of 35? How many have been married more than once? Do you really
> think all these people married for reasons other than love?
>
I checked my statistics, and the divorce rate as far as I know still 
hovers just under the 50% mark.  These people obviously weren't well enough 
matched to stay together for a 'decent amount of time' (which I admit, I
rather vaguely defined).   No, as far as I know, no friend or relative 
of mine has gotten married for reasons other than thinking that he or 
she had found true love.  Unfortunately many people who are in "love" 
don't stop to think about if their partner can be tolerated over a long
period of time.  Admittedly, people change as they get older, and some 
of the divorce rate is probably attributable to those whose personalities 
and other traits have changed since marriage.
     When I made my first posting, I was actually referring more to 
collegiate boy/girlfriend type relationships than marriage.  I should 
have made myself clearer on this point.
> I've known absolutely NO ONE older than 30 years old who hasn't been
> in love at least once and possibly more than once. And I've known a
> lot of people in the 30 to 45 year old age bracket. I've known very
> few people in the 25 to 30 year old age bracket who haven't been in
> love at least once. Although finding a mate may be 'rather hard to
> do,' it happens all the time to all kinds of people. From my own
> experience, love IS common as dirt and as old as humanity.
This depends strictly on your definition of common.  I seem to be expecting 
the same thing in a matter of months that  the rest of the universe seems to 
think of as occuring in years (100km and 100 light-years are both long 
distances, depending on your frame of reference).  I am probably expecting 
too much too soon, so I'll have to rethink my position on the entire matter.

> 
>                             -- Cheers, Bill Ingogly

-- 
______________________________________________________________________________

Earle A. Sugar
Disclaimer:"I doubt anyone else here agrees with me."
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