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From: slerner@sesame.UUCP (Simcha-Yitzchak Lerner)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: 2 lawyer jokes
Message-ID: <385@sesame.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 23-Oct-85 17:20:48 EDT
Article-I.D.: sesame.385
Posted: Wed Oct 23 17:20:48 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 26-Oct-85 07:47:20 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: Lotus Development Corp
Lines: 71

***

Two lawyer jokes from the Lotus joke network:

From:	YOGI::DSUITOR
To:	@ML:JOKES
Subj:	joke heard on radio

Three men were traveling in rural America when their car came to grief,
whereupon they sought shelter at the nearest farmhouse.

The farmer had two spare beds, and, of course, his daughters's, but since he
had heard all of those stories he informed the men that one of them would
have to sleep in the barn.  One of them, a very polite Hindu mathematician,
immediately volunteered and went out to the barn.  A short time later there
was a knock on the door, and, sure enough, there was the Hindu, very
apologetically explaining that there were cows in the barn, and because of
his religious convictions, he didn't think he could remain there.

A second man, a conservative rabbi, now volunteered and went.  But a short
time later, there was a knock on the door.  Sure enough, he too was back,
explaining that since there was a pig in the barn, he too would be quite
uncomfortable out there.

Whereupon the third man, a practicing lawyer, agreeably proceeded out to the
barn.

In a little while, there was a knock on the door.  And when they went to
answer it, sure enough, there were the cows and the pig.



From:	YOGI::RROTHENBERG  
To:	@ML:JOKES,RROTHENBERG 
Subj:	More razzing on lawyers

A lawyer died.  At the same moment, the Pope also died.  They arrived at the
gates of heaven at the same moment.  They spend the day in orientation, and
as they're getting their heavenly vestments, the Pope gets a plain white toga
and wings, like everyone else, and the lawyer gets much finer apparel, made
of gold thread, and Gucci shoes.  

Then, they get to see where they're going to live(?).  The Pope gets what
everyone else gets, a replica of a Holiday Inn room, and the lawyer gets an
18 room mansion with servants and a swimming pool.

At dinnertime, the Pope receives the standard meal, a Manischewitz kosher TV
dinner, and the lawyer receives a fine and tasty meal, served on silver
platters.

By this time, the lawyer is beginning to suspect that an error has been made,
so he asks one of the angels in charge, "Has there been some kind of mistake?
This guy was the Pope, and he gets what everyone else gets, and I'm just a
lawyer and I'm getting the finest of everything?"

The angel replied, "No mistake, sir.  We've had lots of popes here, but
you're the first lawyer we've ever had."

-rsr-


-- 
Opinions expressed are public domain, and do not belong to Lotus
Development Corp.
----------------------------------------------------------------

Simcha-Yitzchak Lerner

              {genrad|ihnp4|ima}!wjh12!talcott!sesame!slerner
                      {cbosgd|harvard}!talcott!sesame!slerner
                       talcott!sesame!slerner@harvard.ARPA