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From: raghu@ut-sally.UUCP (Raghu Ramakrishnan)
Newsgroups: net.nlang.india
Subject: Re: Marriages and Dowry Expires: Refere
Message-ID: <3039@ut-sally.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 29-Sep-85 01:08:46 EDT
Article-I.D.: ut-sally.3039
Posted: Sun Sep 29 01:08:46 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 4-Oct-85 03:55:54 EDT
References: <5585@fortune.UUCP> <51700004@uiucdcsp>
Reply-To: raghu@sally.UUCP (Raghu Ramakrishnan)
Organization: U. Texas CS Dept., Austin, Texas
Lines: 19

> It is even more deplorable that dowry is being *given*.

Well, dowry is a lousy system, and one that has soaked into our culture.
If you had a sister or daughter, given that her marriage would almost 
certainly be an arranged marriage, and given that it would be very
difficult (in some castes, impossible) to find a good match without
offering a substantial dowry, and given the very real possibility of
harassment if she did not bring a good dowry, would YOU refuse to give
dowry? If you did, is it clear that you did the right thing in placing
your principles above her welfare?

Someone must take the first step in eliminating this custom. And it is the
groom. Typically he has the least to lose, and the most leverage to apply.
The worst he has to face is pressure from his own family, and while this
is a non-trivial issue, it is not insuperable.

To me, the most disappointing feature of this dowry mess is the fact that
educated, affluent young men, including many settled in the US, accept
or at the least countenance their family's acceptance of dowry.