Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site cylixd.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!akgub!cylixd!dave
From: dave@cylixd.UUCP (Dave Kirby)
Newsgroups: net.movies
Subject: More on Totally Bad Movies
Message-ID: <333@cylixd.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 1-Oct-85 11:38:03 EDT
Article-I.D.: cylixd.333
Posted: Tue Oct  1 11:38:03 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 3-Oct-85 07:26:50 EDT
Reply-To: dave@cylixd.UUCP (Dave Kirby)
Organization: RCA Cylix Communications , Memphis, TN
Lines: 111


Thanks to all who have mailed me their opinions and nominations for the
list of Totally Bad Movies.  Keep those bits and characters coming, 
folks. This discussion is nowhere near through yet.


The list, in order of badness, now stands at:

*(1) Felicity
 (2) Silent Night, Deadly Night
*(3) Glen or Glenda
*(4) Star Crush
*(5) First Family
 (6) Sheena of the Jungle (on the "doubtful" list, however; see below)

* Asterisk means new entry.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Comments on new entries, from the people who nominated them:

Felicity ("Did you see the scene in "Batchelor Party" where Tom Hanks'
    fiancee mutilated their porno movies? You'd be watching some guy
    and girl take their clothes off, and the next thing you knew, they
    were putting their clothes back on. Well, that's exactly what happens
    in Felicity! I think this was an X-rated movie that was later turned
    into an R. There isn't even any good T&A. The acting is uniformly bad...
    They can't even show an occasional nipple without bad lighting...
    They re-used one panorama of Hong Kong FIVE times! ...They would
    typically have one scene where some people were walking down the
    street shopping, having a conversation (not correctly lip-synched,
    either); they would later repeat the scene, but instead of dialog,
    they would have lush porno music... Bad acting, bad direction, bad
    cinematography, bad music, no plot, bad continuity, repeated footage,
    and bad film quality. What more could you want?" -Hank Walker)

Glen or Glenda ("This gem stars Boris Karloff(?) as a 1950's transvestite.
    I taped it off the TV late one night and now use it to drive unwanted
    guests out of my house! ... GoG is truly RANK!" -Dan Reynolds)

Star Crush ("[Had a] hand-shaped starship that would actually grab
    and crush other ships, Godzilla-like-metal-robot-woman, and more
    that I have conveniently forgotten." - Kris Kozminski)

First Family ("Funniest part of the movie was during the credits when
    a Presidential speech is heard that contains the line '... be they
    white or black or any of the equally attractive shades in between.'
    From then on it was all downhill." - Joe Nunes)


----------------------------------------------------------------------

Movies eliminated from the list, and the reasons:

"The Big Bus" was taken off the list because Spitzer found its satire
of the disaster-movie genre to be above mediocre. "I thought the fight
scene at the bar ... was very clever. To see one of the characters
pick up a milk carton and smash it on the bar (like they used to do with
bottles in the old westerns) just broke me up. ... I especially liked
the scene where the pickup truck crashed into the side of the bus (a la
one of the many "Airport" movies)."

Mike Browne suggested that "Sheena" be taken off the list because of the
scene where Ted Wass meets Sheena ("Who are you?" "I... (tossing her head
back) am Sheena!"). But I will continue to carry the movie on the list
until I get further supporting evidence that others found this scene
as hilarious as Mike did.

I have gotten a lot of mail about my adding "Plan 9 From Outer Space"
to the list of Totally Bad Movies. I haven't seen the film, but after
reading the various comments on it, this is definitely a "must see"
for me. Following is a summary of the comments I have received on this
film.

"... if a movie is bad enough, it often becomes a good comedy.  For
example, the classic "Plan 9 From Outer Space" combines bad acting,
inane dialog, terrible directing, and 5 minutes of Bela Lugosi in a
cemetery repeated over and over.  This movie has no redeeming features
except that it is incredibly funny.  (The scenery is great!  The plane
cockpit, the spaceship, and several other locations are the same room!
Movie lights are visible in the cemetery! A woman runs from the cemetery
at night and winds up on the highway during the day!)" -Mike Browne

"I think that Plan 9 should be dropped from the list because it's so
humurous that people STILL watch it after all these years." -David Herron

"Plan 9 does not qualify as totally bad because it is incredibly funny,
unintentionally so.  I mean, can you keep a straight face as a pie
plate suspended by a string with burning gasoline on it moves across the
screen?" -Hank Walker

"I have not yet had the opportunity to see all of "Plan 9" yet. However,
I feel that the one thing that movie has in its favor is the very fact
that it is so bad. It takes a special talent to produce something that
is universally regarded as the worst of its kind. I think that this
movie, too, should be taken off the list." -The Spitzer

-----

"Plan 9" appears to be the best of the Totally Bad Movies; however,
since it has attained a cult following, it now has a redeeming feature
that disqualifies it from the list of Totally Bad Movies. Reluctantly,
I have dropped it from the list. A Totally Bad Movie should be offensive
to anyone who watches it; it must be a total waste of time. "Plan 9" is
neither. I shall have to watch for it. It sounds like a true classic.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Dave Kirby    ( ...!ihnp4!akgub!cylixd!dave)

(The views expressed herein are the exclusive property of Dave Kirby.
Any person, living or dead, found with the same or similar opinions
will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of law.)