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From: tim@unisoft.UUCP (Tim Bessie)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Re: Nominally single????
Message-ID: <575@unisoft.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 3-Oct-85 16:16:09 EDT
Article-I.D.: unisoft.575
Posted: Thu Oct  3 16:16:09 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 6-Oct-85 05:08:40 EDT
References: <285@whuts.UUCP> <533@oakhill.UUCP> <286@whuts.UUCP> <1919@reed.UUCP> <158@aplvax.UUCP> <1102@rayssd.UUCP>
Reply-To: tim@unisoft.UUCP (Tim Bessie)
Distribution: net
Organization: UniSoft Systems, Berkeley
Lines: 47
Summary: 

In article <1102@rayssd.UUCP> hxe@rayssd.UUCP (Heather Emanuel) writes:
>Oh, please.  Are we all *looking* for an argument?  It seems obvious
>to me, and I think perhaps to the rest of the people who didn't post
>because it was obvious to them also, that the terms are practically
>self explanatory.
>
>Single: Really single; i.e., 'available' if you were to ask them out
>	on a date.  Perhaps dating one or more people, but not involved
>	in an exclusive relationship.
>
>Nominally Single: Look in the dictionary and then figure it out.
>		  "Single In Name Only."
>
     Thank you, thank you, thank you!  I was going to post something like
this awhile ago, but decided to keep out of it.  It seemed so simple,
but people kept bring marriage into it, or complicating the issue.
All they had to see was that it was "I am open to new (sexual)
relationships," vs. "I am not open to new (sexual) relationships."

     I think the problem was caused by people who were not so sure WHAT
their situation was... i.e. life can be very complicated.  Just because
you are seeing someone, it doesn't necessarily mean that you BOTH want
a commitment.  Nor does it mean that, even if you DO have some sort
of commitment, that you wouldn't mind slipping out of it when something
good comes along.  And you might feel guilty about it.  But you might
feel you want to preserve you INDEPENDENCE!  But, but, but... you can't
clasify people.  I might meet someone, and they might say to me "I'm
not interested in a relationship at this time."  Then, the next day,
they'll meet someone else and fall in love, and want a long-term
relationship.  It might be they didn't know until it happened.  It might
be they DID want one, but were hiding it from me so as not to hurt my
feelings, or hiding it from themselves so they wouldn't feel guilty
about not liking me (people, I find, generally WANT to like people).

     Anyway, I'm glad you posted this!

						- Tim

---

	     "Time is for dragonflies and angels.  The former live
	too little and the latter live too long."
	---------------------------------------------------------------

---> Tim Bessie ----- {ucbvax,dual}!unisoft!tim
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