Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site ut-sally.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!gatech!ut-sally!raghu From: raghu@ut-sally.UUCP (Raghu Ramakrishnan) Newsgroups: net.nlang.india Subject: Re: Marriages and Dowry Expires: Refere Message-ID: <3039@ut-sally.UUCP> Date: Sun, 29-Sep-85 01:08:46 EDT Article-I.D.: ut-sally.3039 Posted: Sun Sep 29 01:08:46 1985 Date-Received: Fri, 4-Oct-85 03:55:54 EDT References: <5585@fortune.UUCP> <51700004@uiucdcsp> Reply-To: raghu@sally.UUCP (Raghu Ramakrishnan) Organization: U. Texas CS Dept., Austin, Texas Lines: 19 > It is even more deplorable that dowry is being *given*. Well, dowry is a lousy system, and one that has soaked into our culture. If you had a sister or daughter, given that her marriage would almost certainly be an arranged marriage, and given that it would be very difficult (in some castes, impossible) to find a good match without offering a substantial dowry, and given the very real possibility of harassment if she did not bring a good dowry, would YOU refuse to give dowry? If you did, is it clear that you did the right thing in placing your principles above her welfare? Someone must take the first step in eliminating this custom. And it is the groom. Typically he has the least to lose, and the most leverage to apply. The worst he has to face is pressure from his own family, and while this is a non-trivial issue, it is not insuperable. To me, the most disappointing feature of this dowry mess is the fact that educated, affluent young men, including many settled in the US, accept or at the least countenance their family's acceptance of dowry.