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From: edh@sun.uucp (Edward Hunter)
Newsgroups: net.suicide
Subject: Re: misc. ramblings
Message-ID: <2805@sun.uucp>
Date: Tue, 17-Sep-85 04:47:21 EDT
Article-I.D.: sun.2805
Posted: Tue Sep 17 04:47:21 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 19-Sep-85 05:22:04 EDT
References: <199@ikonas.UUCP>
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
Lines: 57

> I'd like to know how other people get over the various humps in their lives.
> Currently I'm questioning my reason for being, and haven't found any
> answers I'll accept.  I'm sure other people must occasionly get into
> this state of mind.
> 
> I don't have any dependents, and I never had.  I know at least a half-dozen
> people in this area that could do my job as well or better than I can.
> The only friends I have I made at work, and most of them now work somewhere
> else and I don't see them very often.  I have no social life, because
> I'm always fixing problems to stop customers from screaming.  The customer
> is screaming because some one else sat on the problem for months, and now
> we're way over a deadline.  I gave up a social life long ago when I went
> for 2 degrees in four years while working part time.  My social skills are
> nill, and I doubt that anyone would really want to associate with someone
> whose work is his total life.  Someone called me a nerd at work today,
> and I just realized it must be true.

Mike,
  I haven't noticed anyone respond to you (probably due to the wonders of 
modern mail).  Generally, I just observe what goes on around here
but your note reminds me alot of myself in some sense so I figured I
would throw in my two cents.  Occasionally, I wonder about my own
existence, although I'm still here so I guess that says something.  I
won't spend any time trying to convince you how empty the world
would be without you.  One thing I've learned is that life goes on
no matter what happens.  In the end the only person you have to
prove anything to is yourself.  When I was younger I used to thing
that I had to prove things to other people.  I soon discovered that
everyone else was busy trying to prove things to everyone else and
that seemed to be a waste of time.  Consequently, I recommend
starting to do things to prove to yourself that you should(can) exist from
day to day.  I recommend picking something that you want to do and
going out to do it.  (Not knowing your interests I won't try to
suggest anything.)  If you think you can convince someone else to
join you in whatever it is bring them along, however, don't let not
having someone stop you.  Eventually, either you will become bored
of this and figure I was crazy or you will have a collection of
things to do when you need something to do other than work.  These
will be the things you can do simply because you want to do them and
do not require to approval of anyone else.  A small victory for you
over the rest of the world.
  As far as work being your total life.  True it may fill all your
waking hours and that's fine if you enjoy it.  If you don't enjoy it
then something should change.  Either you can work less (I force
myself to take at least one day a week off) or in the worst case
quit and find a new job (not an easy task but an option).  As for
your nill social skills I can offer no advice (although the people
on net.singles will tell you at length what you should do if you
enjoy reading forty different descriptions of the same thing).  
  So that's it.  I could say more but I hate long replies.  If you
are interested I have more thoughts on the subject of life and why
we keep living it.  Just drop me a line.
-edh
P.S.
  I get over my humps by telling myself I refuse to be beaten.
Therefore each new day is a new challenge and each yesterday is
ancient history to be learned from or forgotten as the mood takes me.