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From: stj@calmasd.UUCP (Shirley Joe)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: Learning about Life
Message-ID: <570@calmasd.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 17-Sep-85 20:33:34 EDT
Article-I.D.: calmasd.570
Posted: Tue Sep 17 20:33:34 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 23-Sep-85 00:19:44 EDT
References: <29700001@ISM780.UUCP>
Reply-To: stj@calmasd.UUCP (Shirley Joe)
Organization: Calma Company, San Diego, CA
Lines: 78
Keywords: childbirth

In article <29700001@ISM780.UUCP> Joan Alexander writes:
>
>  	. . .  I decided recently that I would like to get
>  into some kind of a childbirth class (or even beter, an
>  ongoing discussion group) where I could talk to experienced
>  people and ask questions.

What kind of experienced people are you looking for?  Experienced
medical people?  Or experienced pregnant people?  The problem with a
non-pregnant person attending a childbirth class is that much of the
class is spent is spent learning and doing breathing and prenatal
exercises.  This kind of detail is only necessary on a need-to-know
basis.  Another purpose of such a class is to provide moral support to
the participants, you know, bound together by a common bond and all
that.

If you are determined to take a class, you can say that you are in the
early stages of pregnancy.  They will probably suggest that you wait
until the 6th month, though, because you have to keep practicing what
you learn, and doing breathing exercises for 8 months or more is not
exactly something that most people want to do.

>     I've been calling around trying to find such a class.  So
>  far I haven't found anyone who accepts non-pregnant people.
>  Some of the people I've talked to have been very nice but seem
>  slightly confused at my request.  Others seem to be annoyed,
>  the implication being that I have no business wanting to study
>  about childbirth without being pregnant myself.

I don't know about most classes, but the common bond was especially
strong in our class because the instructor was also pregnant.  So she
was not merely going through the motions.  She knew exactly how we
felt, and she could really sympathize.

Also, most people that take childbirth classes are in the later stages
of pregnancy.  During this period, most women feel tired, fat,
ungainly, achy, and not very attractive.  I would have felt threatened
by the presence of young, slim, attractive, non-pregnant participants.
And especially so because most coaches are husbands who have seen their
wives go through this incredible physical and tempermental
transformation (Wait a minute!  That's not the girl I married!).

>      Yet another example of how our society tries to
>  separate the experience of childbirth from "normal everyday"
>  life.  This attitude does little to remove the ignorance and
>  fear of childbirth that many people have.

Childbirth is not a "normal everyday event" in life.  If it were, I
might have chosen to depart this dear earth awhile back (This is your
9th baby?  You poor dear!).  It is a special time in a woman's life
where she has to call up all her strength and courage to do something
far beyond the ken of normal everyday living.  (Incidentally, sometimes
the spouse has to too.)  And yes, I think women are very special to be
able to deal with it.

>        2) I want to know how all of you feel about the way we
>           treat childbirth in America.  Is it good that most of
>           us have never seen a woman go through labor?  Is it
>           good that most of us have never touched a just-born
>           baby?

Two persons attended the birth of my son (other than the medical staff).
They were my husband and a good friend of ours who was a medical
student at UCLA (she is now a doctor in the Bay area).  It was not an
easy labor and delivery.  There were complications.  I can emphatically
say that I would not have wanted anyone else there watching me suffer
(except maybe mom).  It was already a tough decision to ask Peggy to
attend (she is my husband's ex-SO).  I certainly would not have wanted
any strangers attending or touching my baby.

>		      Joan "the VMS group is moving mountains" Alexander

By the way, how many of use have ever seen surgery performed?  I
understand that quite a few vasectomies are performed every day. :-)

-- 

Spike
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