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From: tkoppel@udenva.UUCP (Ted Koppel)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: When are you really free of your X?
Message-ID: <764@udenva.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 1-Aug-85 09:06:03 EDT
Article-I.D.: udenva.764
Posted: Thu Aug  1 09:06:03 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 14-Aug-85 03:19:13 EDT
References: <763@abnji.UUCP>
Reply-To: tkoppel@udenva.UUCP (Ted Koppel)
Organization: Penrose Library -- University of Denver
Lines: 27

-->Also, is it fair to seek a new SO with the other fresh in my mind?  
-->Would I be fair to the new SO, or is she just a crutch to help
-->in recovery from the XSO?
-->James C Armstrong, Jnr.   ihnp4!abnji!nyssa

First, what is 'fair' ? 
I've recently faced the question of XSO (and the memories of such
intruding on current relationships); I have a couple of observations:
  a. Certainly its 'fair' to seek a new SO...but seeking doesn't always
produce results.  My experience is that seeking is probably the least
effective way of developing a relationship; and that serendipity
(Fate, Kismet, et al) does better.  Just as there are a lot of males
who have 'broken up', so too are there an approximately equivalent
number of females.  Those women have XSOs to cloud their minds, too.
  b. [Is the new SO a crutch?] Maybe.  To me, the important question
is : Do you, JC Armstrong, know what you're doing?  Are you in touch
with your emotions and motivations to be able to discern whether this
is a 'rebound relationship' <> or
if this relationship is solidly based.  

I guess the point I'm making is that only through knowing yourself can
you make a judgment about what's 'fair'...

-- 
Ted Koppel : University of Denver Penrose Library : 303-871-3429
	{boulder, cires, cisden, denelcor, hao, nbires}!udenva!tkoppel
	{bilanc, csm9a, elsi, koala}!udenva!tkoppel