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From: lonetto@phri.UUCP (Michael Lonetto)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Emotions & choice, a comment by an observer
Message-ID: <385@phri.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 7-Aug-85 13:56:53 EDT
Article-I.D.: phri.385
Posted: Wed Aug  7 13:56:53 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 13-Aug-85 01:08:29 EDT
References: <5557@cbscc.UUCP>  <591@unc.UUCP>
Organization: Public Health Research Inst. (NY, NY)
Lines: 30

> Example:  You
> agree to do something for a friend.  You don't do it, just because you
> choose not to do it, without letting your friend know.  The friend is
> naturally upset, but this doesn't affect you, because YOU aren't responsible
> for his/her feelings.  But since a lot of people either just aren't that
> assertive when it comes to this sort of thing, or because they fear they'll
> lose your friendship if they make a fuss, or because they figure such small
> stuff shouldn't affect friendships, you "get off scot free".  Even with
> "repeated offenses".  This new insight enables such people to do things they
> were never able to do before, like taking advantage of their friends without
> feeling guilty about it.  After all, YOU aren't responsible for ...
> 

I have not heard the people on the net who feel  responsible  for  their
emotions deny responsibility for their behavior.  In the same way that a
mature responsible person  would  not  put  up  with  the  behavior  you
describe  from a "friend," they would not expect their friends to put up
with it from them.  The childish behavior you describe actually goes off
in  the other direction (I'm ONLY responsible for no. 1, let the rest of
the suckers watch out  for  ME).   While  someone  like  this  may  have
"friends"  s/he would be ill advised to trust them any further than s/he
could throw them.
-- 
____________________

Michael Lonetto  Public Health Research Institute,
455 1st Ave, NY, NY 10016  
(allegra!phri!lonetto)

"BUY ART, NOT COCAINE"