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From: carnes@gargoyle.UUCP (Richard Carnes)
Newsgroups: net.politics,net.flame
Subject: Re: We're next (Communist takeover of U.S.)
Message-ID: <151@gargoyle.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 14-Aug-85 14:32:44 EDT
Article-I.D.: gargoyle.151
Posted: Wed Aug 14 14:32:44 1985
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Don Black, the un-Nazi, writes:

> We, the Good Ol' U. S. of A., are next on the Hit List.  Once South
> Africa is securely in the Soviet Bloc, rest assured that the
> Communist/Nazi/Internationalists will start the final assault
> against us.  The Order of Battle is already written.
>
> Sleep well tonight.  We don't have too many more [nights] left.

I have recently learned from my contacts in the KGB that the
Communist takeover of the US has been postponed until the end of the
Reagan Administration or the end of the world whichever comes first,
so Don can relax his eternal vigilance for a while at least.
Frankly, the Kremlin leaders have no stomach for the encounter as
long as a real man is in the White House (or on his ranch) and they
are waiting until the likes of Fritz or Teddy occupies the Oval
Office.

In a spirit of fraternity and patriotism (and the possibility of
making a lot of money), I'd like to offer the following advice to
Don, for whatever it's worth.  During the coming takeover attempt,
the people who are likely to cause the most damage are left-wing
types like myself, who are likely to turn quisling and give aid and
comfort to the wrong side.  It is extremely important to keep an eye
on such people, so some kind of surveillance and/or preventive
detention should be initiated.  And if the government won't do it,
then it's up to you and your friends, Don -- after all, what is more
important, obeying the letter of the law or preserving American
liberties?  In any case, I'd be happy to give you a list of the names
and addresses of my left-wing friends in return for a suitably large
sum of money (since after all I am well paid by the KGB) and safe
conduct to a secure location in Latin America.  Betraying friends, of
course, is all in a day's work for us leftists.

One of the most insidious ways in which we try to weaken America's
will to resist is through propaganda and disinformation (Usenet, of
course, is of great value in this regard).  There is now an
organization, Accuracy in Academia (an offshoot of Accuracy in
Media), that is trying to combat the lies, distortions, and other
filth with which leftist professors attempt to enlist American
students in the cause of Marxism.  Members of AIA sit in on classes
taught by known leftists and, if they believe that the course is
slanted towards the left or subversive of traditional American
values, they publish their findings and perhaps bring other forms of
pressure to bear on the professor.  It's refreshing to learn of a
group that has understood the true nature of scholarship in our
universities (particularly my university, a well-known Communist
front).  If anyone has any more information on AIA, I would like to
hear from you.  To sum up, my advice to Don and his fellow
freedom-lovers is to keep a close watch on those who think
un-American thoughts or advocate un-American activities.

Some of you may be wondering what the Soviets hope to gain by taking
over the US.  I wondered about this myself for a long time until one
of my KGB friends told me that AMERICAN WOMEN HAVE LARGER BREASTS
THAN SOVIET WOMEN.  There is no Soviet Dolly Partonova; Soviet men's
mags have centerfolds of tractors and backhoes.  Just imagine your
wife, girlfriend, or sister in the embrace of a Communist, whenever
your will to resist begins to weaken.

Finally, if you care about our precious bodily fluids, don't forget
fluoridation.  Is one of our plots, comrade.

Richard Carnes, ihnp4!gargoyle!carnes