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From: wfi@rti-sel.UUCP (William Ingogly)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: A compromise on emotional self-determinism
Message-ID: <349@rti-sel.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 13-Aug-85 10:12:18 EDT
Article-I.D.: rti-sel.349
Posted: Tue Aug 13 10:12:18 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 19-Aug-85 06:11:05 EDT
References: <393@boulder.UUCP>
Reply-To: wfi@rti-sel.UUCP (William Ingogly)
Organization: Research Triangle Institute, NC
Lines: 41

In article <393@boulder.UUCP> jon@boulder.UUCP (Jon Corbet) writes:

>        ...  I once got a net-letter describing this "long term"
>state as the "DC state" of one's emotional makeup (Oh, no, EE's on the net!).
>However, the shorter-term "oscillations" can be much harder to control.

It's interesting to me that several engineers and scientists I've
known tended to model their own behavior and the behavior of their
friends in similar ways. I suppose we all tend to interpret the world
in terms we're familiar with ...

>I guess my feeling is that somebody who ... cries for a month 
> because the SO of their dreams has
>just told them to take a leap, is NOT entirely in control of said feelings,
>and most certainly should not be told that they are responsible for being
>sad and would be happy if they chose to [be happy].  It just does not 
>work that way. ...  I do believe that one has the capability
>to prevent a traumatic occurence from ruining one's life.

And one can also improve his/her response to traumatic occurrences. 
If I see someone I care about dwelling on negative feelings or becoming 
obsessive about something, I may (depending on the circumstances) 
discuss with him the difficulty he's having in controlling his emotional
responses. Which is better: dragging a person who's locked himself in
a room with a picture of his dear departed SO out to start interacting
with other people, or convincing that person to retake control of his
life and engage with other people in a social context?

Although the SOURCE of emotions is partly external events, we are
rational animals. This means we can make an effort to understand WHY
we're falling into certain behavioral patterns and change external
events to modify those behavioral patterns/internal states. If sitting
in your room feeling sorry for yourself doesn't make you feel any
better, get off your tockus and leave the room. And it never hurts to
plant a seed if you see a friend in this condition. Too many unhealthy
mental states are caused by a feeling of loss of control over events
in one's own life, and it can't hurt to try to convince someone that
he/she CAN regain control, sometimes by a simple act like walking 
through a door.

                                -- Cheers, Bill Ingogly