Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site phri.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!lll-crg!dual!qantel!ihnp4!drutx!mtuxo!mtunh!mtung!mtunf!ariel!vax135!timeinc!phri!lonetto From: lonetto@phri.UUCP (Michael Lonetto) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Emotions & choice, a comment by an observer Message-ID: <385@phri.UUCP> Date: Wed, 7-Aug-85 13:56:53 EDT Article-I.D.: phri.385 Posted: Wed Aug 7 13:56:53 1985 Date-Received: Tue, 13-Aug-85 01:08:29 EDT References: <5557@cbscc.UUCP><591@unc.UUCP> Organization: Public Health Research Inst. (NY, NY) Lines: 30 > Example: You > agree to do something for a friend. You don't do it, just because you > choose not to do it, without letting your friend know. The friend is > naturally upset, but this doesn't affect you, because YOU aren't responsible > for his/her feelings. But since a lot of people either just aren't that > assertive when it comes to this sort of thing, or because they fear they'll > lose your friendship if they make a fuss, or because they figure such small > stuff shouldn't affect friendships, you "get off scot free". Even with > "repeated offenses". This new insight enables such people to do things they > were never able to do before, like taking advantage of their friends without > feeling guilty about it. After all, YOU aren't responsible for ... > I have not heard the people on the net who feel responsible for their emotions deny responsibility for their behavior. In the same way that a mature responsible person would not put up with the behavior you describe from a "friend," they would not expect their friends to put up with it from them. The childish behavior you describe actually goes off in the other direction (I'm ONLY responsible for no. 1, let the rest of the suckers watch out for ME). While someone like this may have "friends" s/he would be ill advised to trust them any further than s/he could throw them. -- ____________________ Michael Lonetto Public Health Research Institute, 455 1st Ave, NY, NY 10016 (allegra!phri!lonetto) "BUY ART, NOT COCAINE"