Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: Notesfiles $Revision: 1.7.0.8 $; site fthood Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!harvard!talcott!panda!genrad!decvax!harpo!whuxlm!whuxl!houxm!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!uiucdcs!uiucuxc!fthood!jrife From: jrife@fthood Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: OSHA,EPA,the oil co, and the moose Message-ID: <600003@fthood> Date: Thu, 8-Aug-85 13:17:00 EDT Article-I.D.: fthood.600003 Posted: Thu Aug 8 13:17:00 1985 Date-Received: Thu, 15-Aug-85 21:55:12 EDT Lines: 41 Nf-ID: #N:fthood:600003:000:2573 Nf-From: fthood!jrife Aug 8 12:17:00 1985 Has anyone heard about the clash a while back between the EPA, OSHA, and the oil companies? It seems that the country needed more oil, so that the oil companies got together to build this pipeline to bring oil down from the North Slope of Alaska. During the building of the line, the Environmental Protection Agency watched very closely what the oil companies were doing, since most of Alaska was part of some nationall protected land. One of the stipulations that the EPA made was that the pipeline could not in any way interfere with the wildlife. In this vein, the moose caused a great many problems for the oil companies. Since the moose are migratory animals, and the pipeline lay between where they were, and where they were going, the EPA told the oil companies that they had to make provisions for the moose getting past the pipeline. They raised the pipeline in some locations so that the migrating moose could pass under it. The oil companies were happy, the EPA was happy, and the moose were happy. But the oil flowing through the pipeline was warmer than the surrounding ground, and the support structures for the pipeline heated up the ground and melted the (formerally) perma-frost. This caused the pipeline to settle. The oil companies did not mind, as the line had been designed to take some stress, and the breaks that occured were minor. But the EPA was angry, because now the moose could not get through under the elevated pipeline, so their migratory pattern was disrupted, which was a no-no. The oil companies solved this problem by throwing dirt against the pipeline, and building up a ramp over the pipeline. This was again OK'd by the EPA, who also appreciated the fact that the ramps were landscaped naturally. But now OSHA, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, was upset. It seems they have a rule about elevated structures around oil producing facilities, and that such structures have to have handrails. The oil companies thought it was silly, but they agreed to build handrails for the moose. This upset the EPA, who thought the moose would not use the ramp with the handrails present. Eventually, the EPA agreed, and the oil companies built handrails for the moose. Which left them with another problem... OSHA says that all handrails must be painted in a color scheme that depends on the use of the handrail. (i.e. Handrails on stairs are red, those on the edge of drilling platforms are black and yellow, etc.) So, WHAT COLOR DO YOU PAINT HANDRAILS FOR MIGRATORY MOOSE?? ihnp4!uiucuxc!fthood!jrife