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From: goodrum@unc.UUCP (Cloyd Goodrum)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Can friendship go to HUGGING?
Message-ID: <208@unc.unc.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 22-Aug-85 20:29:35 EDT
Article-I.D.: unc.208
Posted: Thu Aug 22 20:29:35 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 25-Aug-85 06:18:28 EDT
References: <406@mit-vax.UUCP> <229@steinmetz.UUCP> <2040@bigburd.UUCP>
Reply-To: goodrum@unc.UUCP (Cloyd Goodrum)
Organization: CS Dept, U. of N. Carolina, Chapel Hill
Lines: 27
Summary: 

In article Karen Wieckert writes:
>
>Also, often people mistake your intentions.  I moved from communal living in
>Oregon to life as a graduate student at MIT.  West coast versus east coast
>differences are great enough when it comes to closeness, but you can imagine
>the even greater differences because of my experiences in a commune.  It
>didn't take long for me to realize that my behavior was being read all wrong.
>When I met people (male and female) I hugged them.  When I talked with people
>I often put my hand on their arm.  When I met people in social situations or
>on special occasions, I often gave them a kiss.  The misreading of my
>intentions by some had tremendous reprecussions.  I was blamed and I suffered
>because of this behavior.  It didn't help to say that they should understand
>my intentions and my method of greeting others.  Of course at MIT and most 
>places with a majority of men, women's  behavior cannot be as open and warm
>as men's since the reprecussions are much greater.
>
	These "misreadings" happen a lot. I think a lot of it has to do with
the fact that women tend to show physical affection in a variety of situations,
where is men are traditionally only physically affectionate in sexual and
romantic encounters. I don't want to start a debate about which one is      
preferrable (being a member of one of the sexes, I am rather biased). But
a lot of misunderstanding could be avoided if people kept this difference
in mind.

>ka:ren

Cloyd Goodrum III