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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!ucbvax!decwrl!chabot@miles.DEC (All God's chillun got guns)
From: chabot@miles.DEC (All God's chillun got guns)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: New book for single women
Message-ID: <124@decwrl.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 23-Aug-85 16:27:53 EDT
Article-I.D.: decwrl.124
Posted: Fri Aug 23 16:27:53 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 25-Aug-85 00:44:03 EDT
Sender: daemon@decwrl.UUCP
Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation
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Frank Silberman
> Since this book is the female equivalent of "How to Pick Up Girls",
> I suppose I shouldn't be surprised at the hostile reaction in net.singles.

No, this books isn't the equivalent of "HtPUG"--not by the title: the title
indicates *marriage*.  Does HtPUG advocate marriage?--this isn't a rhetorical
question, I haven't read it, so I don't know.  But at any rate, on the *covers*
these two books are very different: HtPUG says it's for men who want to get 
dating while HtFaHiTD says it's for women who want to end their dating days 
(oh, all right, their *single* dating days) (and there isn't any indication 
*from the titles* that HtPUG isn't for married men, while HtFaHiTD is).

> If a woman doesn't want to grow old alone -- if she wants a family,
> then she's ought to marry.  And to do that, she's got to meet a man.
> What's wrong with that?

Er, your stereotypes are showing.  Gee, I know plenty of women who have 
families and who don't have a husband.  Some never did.  And I know of some
who never had to meet a man to have their family.

That's what's wrong with that.
 
[-: Besides, everybody can learn to pick up "girls": you put your hands under
their arms and lift them over your head (tickling them is fun), but only do it 
while they continue to shriek and giggle--stop if they get scared.  This method
also works for boys.  Of course, to get your own girl or boy to pick up, first
you have to have a family, and for that, if you're a man, you need to meet a 
woman, or maybe an adoption agency.  Other common ways to pick up girls or boys
(your own or your friends') is at the elementary school, with a station wagon,
and then you take them to scouts or dancing lessons or little league or hockey
or piano lessons. :-] 

> For a woman approaching the end of her safe child-bearing years,
> it's critical to meet the right man SOON.

Yes, well, for a woman approaching the beginning of her safe child-bearing
years, it's critical that she not jump the gun!  Purchase of this book
should require proof of date of birth of all who might read it.  :-)

>>	...it *does* work...)
> 
> That, right there, is the best endorsement you could give it.

No, it's not.  Nancy's point was that the book spends all it's time on the
gimmicks of attraction, but none on any discussion of why or what to look for
or whether or not you *should* be rushing into something like this.  By your
own article, you said that the HtPUG does talk about relationships (and like
you said, there are plenty of books that talk about that!).

And anyway, the female equivalent of HtPUG would be HtPUH, but the H would be
for Hunks not Husbands, no? :-) 

Giving this book to a woman friend is very likely to be a bad idea.  The only
case I can think of it being an okay idea is if she has asked explicitly for 
it, and then you'll be doing her a favor by buying it for her so that she
doesn't have to go through the embarassment (and you might do her a bigger
favor by telling her Nancy's review before buying it).  Husband-hunting, for
one thing, is a non-communicative social disease; or at least it's socially
unacceptable to announce, like bed-wetting.  (Would you got to B Daltons and
purchase a copy of _How_to_Stop_Bed-Wetting_in_30_Days?) :-)  It's not
that there's anything inherently icky about it, however, the stereotypical
monomaniacal husband-hunter isn't anything that anyone wants to be taken for.
Husband-hunting isn't a fulfilling career, it won't bring you a meaningful
life.  Giving this book to a friend is risky--if you're very well acquainted
with her and know it will be taken as a joke, okay, but even jokes sometimes
backfire.  Who wants to suspect that their friends have labelled them a 
husband-hunter?  An old maid?  Not that it's bad not to be married, but who 
wants friends that think it's bad?  (Females and males can experience this
kind of pressure from family and friends, especially married friends it seems.)
From Nancy's review, the book also stresses improving your appearance: folks,
unattractive does not imply unmarriageable, and unmarried does not imply
unattractive, not to mention that attractiveness does not reside solely in the 
domain of physical appearance (natural or enhanced).  Do you really want to
give your friend the suspicion that you think she needs a husband or that she's
ugly?

Nancy, thanks for posting that review and satisfying the curiosity of not a
few.

L S Chabot   ...decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-amber!chabot   chabot%amber.dec@decwrl.arpa