Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site rtp47.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!mcnc!rti-sel!rtp47!throopw From: throopw@rtp47.UUCP (Wayne Throop) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: YAEMP Message-ID: <154@rtp47.UUCP> Date: Wed, 21-Aug-85 12:27:54 EDT Article-I.D.: rtp47.154 Posted: Wed Aug 21 12:27:54 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 24-Aug-85 15:09:06 EDT References: <1451@vax3.fluke.UUCP> Organization: Data General, RTP, NC Lines: 63 > It came to pass one night that there were in a hotel a physicist, an > engineer, and a mathematician, each in a separate room. Fortunately for > this joke, a small fire broke out in each room. AHA! Engineer, Mathematician and Physicist jokes! (I heard this one a tad differently, but I won't quibble.... Well, OK I will. The order should be engineer, physicist, mathematician, since they are then ordered in decreasing severity of reaction to the blaze.) In any event, I happen to have a modest stock of EMP jokes here... -- An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist were abducted by Space Aliens for phychological experimentation. The three are placed in a long corridor with a spectacularly endowed nude person of the female persuasion at the far end. The three are told that they can advance half the remaining distance to the other end of the corridor at the sound of a gong, which would sound every five seconds. If anyone moves before the gong, the offender would be disintegrated. The mathematician and the physicist discuss the situation, while the engineer rushes for each half-way point in time with the gongs. The mathematician and the physicist agree that (regretably) it is impossible to ever reach the young lady, and say as much to the engineer, now on the third stop. The engineer replies "Well, yes... but eventually I'll be CLOSE ENOUGH!" -- A simple intelligence test was given to applicants for a certain job. It so happened that an engineer, a mathematician and a physicist applied. The test had two parts. The applicant was first placed in a room with a hotplate, a sink, and an empty kettle, and asked to make hot water. Then the applicant was placed in a room with a hotplate, a sink, and a kettle full of cold water, and again asked to make hot water. The engineer and the physicist both performed in an exemplary fashion. In the first case, they filled the kettle, and heated the water. In the second case they simply boiled the water. The mathematician, on the other hand, thought carefully in the first case, and eventually filled the kettle and heated the water. In the second case, after even more thought, he emptied the kettle, reducing the problem to one he had already solved.... -- An engineer, a mathematician and a physicist were each asked if all odd numbers are prime. The mathematician replied, "Well, nine is odd, yet not prime, so not all odd numbers are prime." The physicist said "Well, three's prime, five's prime, and seven's prime... I think that's enough data... they must all be prime!" The engineer said "Well, three's prime, five's prime, seven's prime, nine's prime, eleven's prime, thirteen's prime...." -- I regret to admit that these four jokes (Fire, Space Aliens, IQ test, and Odd Primes) are all the EMP jokes I can remember. Ideally, more are needed that make the E or P the object of the joke, since two of the four feature the M in this roll. Ah well, I suppose there will now be a flood of YAEMP postings, and I can select a more balanced set to memorize and use to bore the unwary at parties... -- Wayne Throop at Data General, RTP, NC!mcnc!rti-sel!rtp47!throopw