Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site unc.unc.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!mcnc!unc!goodrum From: goodrum@unc.UUCP (Cloyd Goodrum) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Can friendship go to HUGGING? Message-ID: <208@unc.unc.UUCP> Date: Thu, 22-Aug-85 20:29:35 EDT Article-I.D.: unc.208 Posted: Thu Aug 22 20:29:35 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 25-Aug-85 06:18:28 EDT References: <406@mit-vax.UUCP> <229@steinmetz.UUCP> <2040@bigburd.UUCP> Reply-To: goodrum@unc.UUCP (Cloyd Goodrum) Organization: CS Dept, U. of N. Carolina, Chapel Hill Lines: 27 Summary: In article Karen Wieckert writes: > >Also, often people mistake your intentions. I moved from communal living in >Oregon to life as a graduate student at MIT. West coast versus east coast >differences are great enough when it comes to closeness, but you can imagine >the even greater differences because of my experiences in a commune. It >didn't take long for me to realize that my behavior was being read all wrong. >When I met people (male and female) I hugged them. When I talked with people >I often put my hand on their arm. When I met people in social situations or >on special occasions, I often gave them a kiss. The misreading of my >intentions by some had tremendous reprecussions. I was blamed and I suffered >because of this behavior. It didn't help to say that they should understand >my intentions and my method of greeting others. Of course at MIT and most >places with a majority of men, women's behavior cannot be as open and warm >as men's since the reprecussions are much greater. > These "misreadings" happen a lot. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that women tend to show physical affection in a variety of situations, where is men are traditionally only physically affectionate in sexual and romantic encounters. I don't want to start a debate about which one is preferrable (being a member of one of the sexes, I am rather biased). But a lot of misunderstanding could be avoided if people kept this difference in mind. >ka:ren Cloyd Goodrum III