Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site decwrl.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!prls!amdimage!amdcad!decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-curium!jackson From: jackson@curium.DEC (Seth Jackson) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Control of Emotions Message-ID: <3616@decwrl.UUCP> Date: Wed, 14-Aug-85 11:49:52 EDT Article-I.D.: decwrl.3616 Posted: Wed Aug 14 11:49:52 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 19-Aug-85 06:55:56 EDT Sender: daemon@decwrl.UUCP Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation Lines: 26 I think this discussion has realy gotten on the wrong track. The important point is not controlling one's emotions, but rather controlling one's *attitude* towards one's emotions. If your SO rejects you, or if you have some other upsetting experience, it is normal and natural to feel sad, hurt, or whatever. "Controlling your emotions" so that you felt happy in this situation would be neither normal nor healthy. The key is your attitude towards your sadness. This is something that you *do* have a great deal of control over. You could choose the attitude that this sadness is a terrible thing and that you can't handle it and that you'll never get over it, and as a result, you could go into deep depression. Obviously, this is a self-destructive attitude. On the other hand, you can choose the attitude that yes, you feel bad, but these things are a part of life, and you'll accept it, and you'll see what you can do to move forward and overcome it. The "self-actualized" person is not a robot who can turn his feelings on and off. Rather, s/he is a wise person who understands his/her feelings, where they come from, and how to deal with them. __ "Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world" Seth Jackson dec-curium!jackson