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From: amc@whuts.UUCP (Andy Cohill)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: re sex problem
Message-ID: <239@whuts.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 23-Aug-85 07:46:05 EDT
Article-I.D.: whuts.239
Posted: Fri Aug 23 07:46:05 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 25-Aug-85 06:13:10 EDT
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> 
> 	I know that I posted something about this before, but I'm
> intrigued. Is the general concensus out there that living alone is
> unnatural, or at the very least, not preferable? 
> 
> 	elizabeth g. purtell

*************** Disclaimer*************
The opinions expressed below are those of the author. He would not
possibly try to suggest that they apply to other men, women, cats,
dogs, slugs, former SOs, extraterrestial beings, God, his backyard, 
his tablesaw, his stuffed penguin (Opus), or any other animate or
inanimate object here, there, or anywhere, including other galaxies,
alternate universes, and different time dimensions.
**************************************

First, I do not think that it is unnatural. Preferrable? I have
struggled with that all my life. A little arithmetic shows that
since I left for college, I have spent about half that time living
alone, and the other half with a variety of SOs and room/housemates.

I have always enjoyed the emotional satisfaction of living
with someone else, even just a casual roommate. I have particularly
enjoyed living with my SOs (I live alone right now); there are few
things more comforting that having someone in the bed next to you at
night. But I have discovered that with my SOs, I tended to pay less
attention to myself, and frequently found myself wishing for a few
weeks alone, just to be able to relax completely. 
It seems very difficult to be deeply introspective when someone you
care about is around the house. However, I also
suspect, since these relationships did not last, that that feeling
may be due in part to the person with whom I was living. I do not
think the feeling will ever go away completely, though.

Another thing I've noticed about hanging around with your SO; I tend
to notice my surroundings less (when traveling, for example), and I
think you miss opportunities to meet people because you are
attached. One of the pleasures that I look forward to when traveling
is the chance to hear/exchange stories with fellow travelers. Again,
I think it depends on the SO. You need an SO who trusts you
*completely*. Someone who is will not start feeling insecure and
jealous if you wander off and strike up a conversation with someone
else.

Living alone is sneaky, though. It is appealing, in part, because it
is so easy. You can do anything you want, without having to consider
anyone else. It can make you intolerant. Sharing your life with
someone is much harder, but the potential rewards are much greater,
too, I think.

Best regards,

Andy Cohill
{allegra|ihnp4}houxm!whuxl!whuts!amc