Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/5/84; site sjuvax.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!rochester!cmu-cs-pt!cadre!psuvax1!burdvax!sjuvax!tmoody From: tmoody@sjuvax.UUCP (T. Moody) Newsgroups: net.kids Subject: Re: Re: My first baby Message-ID: <1242@sjuvax.UUCP> Date: Tue, 6-Aug-85 18:19:32 EDT Article-I.D.: sjuvax.1242 Posted: Tue Aug 6 18:19:32 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 11-Aug-85 04:44:18 EDT References: <3484@cornell.UUCP> <472@tymix.UUCP> Organization: St. Joseph's University, Phila. PA. Lines: 39 > In article <3484@cornell.UUCP> martin@cornell.UUCP (Susan Martin) writes: > > > > I have recently learned that I'm going to be a mother! > > Congratulations!! > > > Also, if I marry the baby's father, he'll have the right to tell me what > >to do and how to bring up my child. > > A husband does not have the right to tell his wife what to do or how to > bring up their child! Activites which effect both parents and/or the > children can be resolved by discussion and compromise. If either person > believes they have a right to tell the other what to do, or refuses to > discuss or compromise when differences arise, then the marriage will > have problems. > PKW > hplabs!oliveb!tymix!whitehur [] I agree with everything that Pamela Whitehurst has said, and wish only to add one remark (besides congratulations!). Since you have evidently resolved to have the baby, one of the primary unresolved things is how to define the relationship with the baby's father. As PKW says, he certainly has no right to tell you what to do. It is worth finding out, however, if the two of you have *profound* disagreements about child rearing. Maybe you already know; if not, I should think that it might be a decisive factor. Naturally, it's not necessary for both parents to agree about everything, when it comes to children. I do think that there should be some reasonable amount of agreement, however. Perpetual conflict will undermine whatever advantages (if any) there might be to having both parents around. All the best to you and yours. Todd Moody {allegra|astrovax|bpa|burdvax}!sjuvax!tmoody Philosophy Department St. Joseph's U. Philadelphia, PA 19131