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From: rlr@pyuxd.UUCP (Rich Rosen)
Newsgroups: net.bizarre
Subject: Re: A New Language
Message-ID: <1488@pyuxd.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 12-Aug-85 19:41:43 EDT
Article-I.D.: pyuxd.1488
Posted: Mon Aug 12 19:41:43 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 17-Aug-85 13:25:26 EDT
References: <561@bu-cs.UUCP>
Organization: Whatever we're calling ourselves this week
Lines: 57

> [INSERT YOUR FAVORITE SLAM DANCE MOVE HERE]
> 
> 	How about a net.bizarre group effort to write a new programming
> language?  It should be timely and vogue and offend everyone (sorta like
> the fashion industry).  My proposal is for:
> 
> 		PPL	(Punk Programming Language)

Oh, yeah, toad?  How about a brain-dead yuppie programming language for
geeks who mock punks?

Specifications:

1)	No syntax.  Do whatever you want, real laid back.

2)	No comments.  Yuppies have their heads together (ouch!) and don't
			need documentation.

3)	Special natural language compiler that can understand yuppie
		statements like:

> 3)	There is a 50% chance the compiler will not generating error messages.

4)	Compilation only takes place in presence of whiny yuppie music like
		Kenny Loggins, Rick Springfield, and Rod Stewart.

5)	Every program allocates ALL system resources and then doesn't use them.
		All the resources are purchased on credit using plastic.

6)	Communications is not the responsibility of the programmer.  "I'm
		clear on your feelings, and I'm not responsible for them.
		If you don't understand my message that's your problem."
		Thus most yuppie programs don't produce any useful information.

9)	No arithmetic statements; a prompt is issued for the yuppie to get
		out his printing calculator to do the addition.  (Note also
		that yuppies can't count.)

10)	No logic statements; yuppies do cocaine so they don't have to think.

Instruction Set:  (tell ME what to do, tell me what to buy....)


BOOT 			custom designed by L'Merdio's.
REBOOT				buy another pair with your VISA
BPC				branch and purchase on credit
				(acceptable operands:  microwave, VCR, condo)
BPR				branch and play racquetball
BEQ				branch and eat quiche
SVC				special VISA call, required for yuppie
				purchases over $500
BDT				branch and do what you're told

And so on...
-- 
"There!  I've run rings 'round you logically!"
"Oh, intercourse the penguin!"			Rich Rosen    ihnp4!pyuxd!rlr