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From: oaf@mit-vax.UUCP (Oded Feingold)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Make vs. Rape
Message-ID: <587@mit-vax.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 9-Aug-85 16:53:48 EDT
Article-I.D.: mit-vax.587
Posted: Fri Aug  9 16:53:48 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 12-Aug-85 23:28:51 EDT
Organization: MIT, Cambridge, MA
Lines: 38
Summary: Maybe there is a difference

I think there's a difference, though they shade  into  each  other  at
some   undefined   point.    The  examples  below  are  tentative  and
idiosyncratic.  They're  intended  to  make  plausible  the  case  for
claiming such a difference exists, not nail it down.

    "Make:"    Wheedling,   begging,  threats  of  withholding  future
attention/affection/support/whatever.  "I'll be so hurt and  my  balls
will  ache  and I won't get any sleep tonight and be miserable all day
tomorrow if you say no."  "If you can't even share your body  with  me
you're  not  worth my time, let alone the price of dinner."  Implies a
continuing relationship, however exploitive.  In fact,  the  aggressor
may  like  (or  think  he  likes) the victim, but dominance and sexual
satisfaction come first.  [Is it okay to  use  "he"  blithely  in  the
preceding sentence?]

    "Rape:"  Threat or actuality of  violence,  humiliation,  physical
force,  etc.  The only continuing relationship implied in such actions
consists of future depredations, with the victim unable to  break  the
cycle.   This  works  especially  well  on  children,  who  might  not
comprehend there exists a justice system which considers  such  things
actionable.

    Where they shade into each other:  Power relationships - "We  fuck
or  you  lose  your  job."   "We  fuck or your husband doesn't get the
job/funding/whatever."  "If you won't sleep with  me  you  can  forget
about  getting a degree from this place."  [Variants: "I'll give you a
better grade."  "I'll give your concert a better  review."]   "If  you
fuck  me  willingly  we're still friends, but if not then I'm going to
take what I want anyway.  So which is it gonna  be?"   Naah,  most  of
those  are  too  crude.   Maybe someone else can find a less clear-cut
example.

Comments?  Here's one:  I find  this  class  of  discussion  ugly  and
depressing, but that's what net.women is for, presumably.  If not, I'm
sure I'll hear about it.
-- 
Oded Feingold	{decvax, harvard, mit-eddie}!mitvax!oaf	    oaf%oz@mit-mc.ARPA
MIT AI Laboratory    545 Tech Square    Cambridge, Mass. 02139    617-253-8598