Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84 exptools; site ihlpg.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxn!ihnp4!ihlpg!sed408
From: sed408@ihlpg.UUCP (s. dugan)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Your SO's friends and you
Message-ID: <1123@ihlpg.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 23-Aug-85 14:13:26 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihlpg.1123
Posted: Fri Aug 23 14:13:26 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 25-Aug-85 00:26:20 EDT
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories
Lines: 40

> Rick Lindsley writes: 
>
> The point is, that the "responsibilities to the person you are dating"
> are only what you (the two of you [why doesn't English have a plural second
> person?]) make them. While I agree that the bottom line is to be there
> when you say you will be, it means an awful lot to me to know that
> someone has made an occasional sacrifice on my behalf -- skipped a
> night of homework, or told their friends "sorry, I'd like to call Rick
> first and see if he wants to do something". Admittedly, too much of this
> can actually mess things up (it is possible to see TOO much of a person
> too) but done occasionally it adds just the right spark to a relationship.
> 

I think my SO and I have a nice middle ground here.  We both work, so our time
is pretty precious to us.  However, we both realize that we each need our own
quiet time and we also need to see our other friends.  We have two nights a
week set up for this.  One night is our "quiet night" in which each of us
usually stays in our respective apartments and catches up on a good book/
bills/whatever.  The other night we each make plans to see other friends or to
do things that the other doesn't particularly care to do.  For instance, my SO
doesn't really care to XCountry ski in the winter.  I on the other hand, don't
like to watch war movies.  On or night out with friends, we do that sort of
stuff so that we don't get to feeling that the relationship is "keeping" us
from doing the things we want to do.  Let's face it, your SO can't and
shouldn't be your sole source of entertainment and support.

Just thought I'd add my two cents worth.


-- 

Sarah E. Dugan
"Thank God It's Friday."

###########################################################################
# AT&T Bell Labs IH 1D-408                The Forest (home)               #
# Naperville-Wheaton Rd.                  1353 Crab Apple Court  Apt. 101 #
# Naperville, Illinois  60566             Naperville, Illinois  60540     #
# (312) 979 - 5545                        (312) 355 - 0445                #
###########################################################################