Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site moncol.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!whuxlm!whuxl!houxm!vax135!petsd!moncol!john From: john@moncol.UUCP (John Ruschmeyer) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Your SO's friends and you Message-ID: <467@moncol.UUCP> Date: Thu, 15-Aug-85 22:35:34 EDT Article-I.D.: moncol.467 Posted: Thu Aug 15 22:35:34 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 18-Aug-85 04:18:59 EDT Organization: Monmouth College, West Long Branch, NJ 07764 Lines: 52 Just recently, another netter and I were exchanging e-mail about our recent breakups with our respective SO's. Although the cases were very different, they did have one thing in common- a dominant friend (or friends) of the SO who contributed directly to the breakup. In my case, it was mostly a question of who commanded the most of my SO's time. Although we dated for six months, we never went out on a weekend because that was when her friends were home from school, off from work, or whatever. Even weeknights caused difficulties- on more than one occasion she would forget to return a call because one of her friends would call and she would rush out. My favorite was how she could say on Monday that she was too busy to go out because of school, but find the time to go with her friends to a local amusement park on Friday. It was even one of her "friends" that broke us up. She, four of her friends, and I were at a "party" about six weeks ago. She had disappeared for awhile and while she was gone, one of her friend got me to talking about how she and I met, our relationship, etc. I made the mistake of mentioning, in confidence, a few of my petty gripes (including what I said above). (I honestly thought that the answer would help me better understand my SO or that her friends might help her understand me.) Well, after I left, this "friend" told her everything I had said plus a misunderstood or misrepresented version of something that I didn't even say about her. Needless to say, I had to deal with an irate person at 1am on a Sunday morning (thank God I was still awake :-) Now before the flames start, let me say that all this did not happen without much forebearance on my part. I realize that she had known these people for *much* longer and so I had to be understanding- I tried very hard to be. Really! It seems to me, however, that dating a person does carry some responsibilities to that person also. We have had discussions in this newsgroup about dealing with SO's parents, co-workers, and even ex-SO's. I would be very interested in seeing some discussion about dealing with an SO's friends. I assume I am not the only one with these problems. :-) -- Name: John Ruschmeyer US Mail: Monmouth College, W. Long Branch, NJ 07764 Phone: (201) 222-6600 x366 UUCP: ...!vax135!petsd!moncol!john ...!princeton!moncol!john ...!pesnta!moncol!john Disclaimer: Monmouth College is a mecca for diverse opinions. It is, therefore, highly unlikely that the above opinions are those of anyone but me. Silly quote: Around here we don't have cuisine. We have EATS.