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From: sunny@sun.uucp (Ms. Sunny Kirsten)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: "The Invisible Partners"
Message-ID: <2615@sun.uucp>
Date: Mon, 12-Aug-85 13:53:56 EDT
Article-I.D.: sun.2615
Posted: Mon Aug 12 13:53:56 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 14-Aug-85 08:44:43 EDT
References: <1528@utah-gr.UUCP> <1375@pyuxd.UUCP> <100@unc.unc.UUCP> <1443@pyuxd.UUCP> <2602@sun.uucp> <129@unc.unc.UUCP>
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
Lines: 45

> 	Frank Silbermann
> In article <2602@sun.uucp> sunny@sun.uucp (Ms. Sunny Kirsten) writes:
> >
> >Will you let yourself be defined by your culture?  or will you be a self-
> >defined, self motivated, self actualized individual, and enact the behavior
> >which you feel is appropriate for you as an individual, and then accept the
> >same from those around you, and together constitute a culture?
> 
> The self-defined, self-motivated, self-actualized self-image is an illusion.
> Even non-conformists fulfil culturally defined roles. The question to ask
> yourself is which of society's roles is best for you, taking into consideration
> your ability to play the role, and whether you get from it what you want.
> 

It is not an illusion.  Few achieve it, for it takes much effort and a
great deal of willingness to rethink your life.. a scary and
threatening proposition.  Further, few have the intestinal fortitude to
stand up against possible or actual rejection from the majority of
society in order to live the way they *really* want to, rather than the
way which is easiest and which causes the least rejection from the
surrounding culture.

None of society's roles is best for me.  I cannot get from life what I
want nor what I need by playing only one of the roles offered to me
(with approval) by society.  This is why I am a non-conformist.  This
is why I am self defined.  This is why I try NOT to have ANY self
image.  This is the Zen suppression of ego.  By rejecting all the
roles, I suffer rejection of my chosen path, and that means that I do
not get the approval which I would like.  On the other hand, there are
times when I pretend to be in a specific role which minimizes the
rejection.

> >The feminine and masculine gender roles *are* entirely relative to the culture
> >in which they are defined.  In some cultures a given behavior is classified as
> >feminine, in another culture it is classified as masculine, and in yet another
> >culture, it is not classified as either.
> 
> So when you leave one culture and join another, it may be advantageous
> to change your behavior.
> 

No, it is advantageous to choose which culture you live in to fit the
behavior which is natural for you.
-- 
{ucbvax,decvax,ihnp4}!sun!sunny (Ms. Sunny Kirsten)