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From: 3215rfs@mtuxo.UUCP (r.soyack)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Request for information
Message-ID: <915@mtuxo.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 23-Aug-85 17:35:17 EDT
Article-I.D.: mtuxo.915
Posted: Fri Aug 23 17:35:17 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 25-Aug-85 05:40:49 EDT
Organization: AT&T Information Systems Labs, Holmdel NJ
Lines: 50

I recently posted an article to net.kids that asked for information about
the poster.  I did not mean to insult anyone but I got a lot of mail like
the following:

> In-Reply-To: your article <875@mtuxo.UUCP>
> 
> I  resent  the  insinuation  that the opinions of those who have no kids
> should be less valued than those who do.  I  myself,  without  children,
> have  a  greater  sensitivity  to  children  than  many  parents, and my
> girl-friend, who has two (ages 3 1/2 and almost 6), would confirm  this.
> This  is  not  to  say  that  my feedback, perceptions, ideas, etc., are
> always appropriate or correct, but it is to say that the feedback, etc.,
> of those with children may not be.

I tried to send the following message to the person who mail me the above msg
but was unsuccessful.  After rereading my reply I decided to post it to
net.kids as an answer to those who sent me the mail and an explanation of
what I meant.

> What insinuation?
> 
> I simply asked for information.  If you want to know why I am requesting
> the information then why don't you ask that question?  I am interested in
> knowing whether I am getting information from a theorist or from a person
> who has actually been on the firing line.  If you feel inferior for not
> being on the firing line then deal with that yourself and not through me.
> I have been married for ten years.  My wife had two children from a previous
> marrige (now 17 and 14) and we have one child together (now 5.5 years old).
> I consider all of these children to be our children but realize that my 
> experiences with the older two are incomplete because I did not have the
> opportunity to know them from the beginning.  I love them all.  I was going
> to say equally but that would be a lie.  I think all parents develop favorities.
> The trick is to keep from showing that you have a favorite (we all probably
> fail in this).  I asked for the information about whether you had children
> so I could compare experiences and theories.  I am sure that you are a very
> sensitive person, and, having been there myself, I know what you mean about
> seeing you girlfriend's (this word is an indication of age and not chauvanism)
> children from a different perspective.

And now, upon further reflection I realize that there are times that I do
value the opinions of people with children over those of people without
children.  In the recent discussion of what to to with a baby that does not
want to make the transition from human milk to bottle milk I would rather
hear the opinion of a health professional or a parent who experienced the 
problem then of someone who has discussed the problem with a friend or has
expressed their reasoned opinions on the subject.  I guess I look at this
news group as a source of information and not speculation.

						Rich Soyack
						mtuxo!3215rfs