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From: leman@uiucuxc.Uiuc.ARPA
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Katush Maker
Message-ID: <104100030@uiucuxc>
Date: Wed, 21-Aug-85 00:44:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: uiucuxc.104100030
Posted: Wed Aug 21 00:44:00 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 24-Aug-85 15:48:40 EDT
Lines: 86
Nf-ID: #N:uiucuxc:104100030:000:3565
Nf-From: uiucuxc.Uiuc.ARPA!leman    Aug 20 23:44:00 1985


     There once was this fellow who really wanted to join up with ol' Uncle
Sam.  He decided to go to his Army recruiter and do his civic duty.
     He filled out all the forms, and then the recruiting officer interviewed
him.
     "Well son, it's real fine that you want to join up.  Just what is it that
you would like to do in this man's Army?"
               
     "Well sir, I'm a katush maker."
    
     This sort of threw the old man, and since he didn't want to appear stupid
he decided to just get rid of the problem.
      "I'm real sorry son, but the Army has all the katush makers it needs.
I guess you'll have to try somewhere else."
 
     This really disappointed the guy, but he decided he would try the Air
Force.  There he had to fill out the usual forms, and was then interviewed by
the recruiting officer in charge there.
  
     "So, you want to join the flying fighters, bravest men on land, sea, and
air.?"
   
     "Yes sir."

     "Well, just what would you like to do in the United States Air Force?"
  
     "Well sir, I'm a katush maker."

     Now the Air Force man had no living idea what a katush maker did, but
decided that he would act like he did, but get rid of the guy before he
found out the truth.
 
     "I'm feel real bad to have to tell you this, youngster, but the Air
Force has all the katush's it needs right now.  Why not try the Navy?"
 
     Feeling dejected, but willing to try one last time, the fellow tried the
Navy.  Again the papers, and again the interview.

     "Please sir, I tried the Army and the Air Force, but they said that
they didn't need me, and I do so want to help out my beloved country."

     "This kind of stirred the Navy boy up, and so he decided to listen to 
the young man sitting there.

     "What is it you'd like to do in the Navy, son."

     "Well sir, I'm a katush maker, and a good one, too."

     This Navy man had no more idea than the other two what a 'katush' did, 
but he knew that the Army and the Air Force didn't have one, so he thought
that if he caught this kid, maybe this 'katush' would make the Navy famous, and
MAYBE make *HIM* an admiral!  With these thoughts in mind, he turned to the 
young man and said:
   
     "Son, you've got a job! Now what exactly do you need to build your katush?"
    
     "I need 300 steel I-beams, 900 rivets, 500 sacks of concrete, and      
3 Twinkies.  I also need a battleship to build it on."

     "Done!"

     Fifteen months later, the great unveiling and trial run of Project Katush
was scheduled to take place.  The recruiter had invited EVERYONE, from the
lowliest galley boy, to the top brass, and even the President!!!  Finally the
great moment came.  Five giant helicopters lifted the katush from the hold, and
a
up into the bright blue sky.  On simultaneous command, and five lines were  
aborted and less than a heartbeat later, a huge, monstrous, deafening, tidal-
wave producing,....


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                      "The Happy Hacker"
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                    uiucuxc!leman@uiuc.ARPA
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