Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: Notesfiles $Revision: 1.7.0.8 $; site convexs Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!lll-crg!dual!qantel!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!uiucdcs!convex!convexs!ahearn From: ahearn@convexs.UUCP Newsgroups: net.kids Subject: Re: Sibling presence at childbirth Message-ID: <16600003@convexs> Date: Tue, 6-Aug-85 18:33:00 EDT Article-I.D.: convexs.16600003 Posted: Tue Aug 6 18:33:00 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 12-Aug-85 03:33:42 EDT References: <306@luke.UUCP> Lines: 37 Nf-ID: #R:luke.UUCP:-30600:convexs:16600003:000:1927 Nf-From: convexs.UUCP!ahearn Aug 6 17:33:00 1985 My daughter Lara was present at the birth of her brother, John, a little over three years ago, when she was three years old. She has apparently survived the supposed ``trauma'' very well, with no scars, hysteria, or symptomatic behavior. Furthermore, she and her brother have from the beginning been very, very close. Perhaps her presence at the birth has something to do with their closeness. Who knows? Seems likely to me. We had not planned to have Lara around during delivery, but we had done a certain amount of ``prep'' work with her, just to satisfy her curiosity about the pregnancy. Fortunately, when time came for Lara to leave with a friend, she absolutely refused, then broke into tears when I tried to force the issue. So, after a brief conference with my wife and the attending midwives (yes, we were having a home birth; flamers take note), I made Lara a peanut-butter sandwich, and she stayed through the entire delivery. She was actually pretty helpful--she took over the job of stroking her mother's head, applying cold cloths, etc. As I rememember, Lara was as pleased as we were when John was born. I don't know if it's a good idea to have children present at births as a general rule. I know that in our case, we were blessed with a pretty healthy, intelligent, secure child, and a relatively calm birth with no complications. I don't suspect children would benefit from the crisis atmosphere of a hospital delivery, nor do I suspect that any child would do well in the presence of hysterical parents. I know that I value the experience of being a part of the births of my children as the high points of my life to date. I'm glad that I was able to share this experience with Lara, and I'm a little abashed that I took so seriously the notion that she couldn't handle the experience _because_ she was a ``kid.'' Good topic. Regards, Joe Ahearn {allegra, ihnp4, uiucds, ctvax}!convex!ahearn