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From: purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: What women want
Message-ID: <1788@reed.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 10-Aug-85 16:56:49 EDT
Article-I.D.: reed.1788
Posted: Sat Aug 10 16:56:49 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 14-Aug-85 00:12:04 EDT
References: <3498@decwrl.UUCP>
Reply-To: purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva)
Organization: Reed College, Portland, Oregon
Lines: 70
Summary: 

In article <3498@decwrl.UUCP> jackson@curium.DEC (Seth Jackson) writes:
>
>>Thank you Chris.  If you want to know
>>what turns women on, ask them.  I know we keep harping on that,

   And from this, it looks like it's time for another harp;

>From my experience, what women say they want
>is not always the same as what they actually want. I spent 2 years
>in business school surrounded by "feminist" women who insisted that
>what they wanted was a man who treat them as an equal. But, what I
>found was that, treating them they way they said they wanted resulted
>in having lots of "good friends". In a romantic relationship, these 
>women still wanted men to hold doors for them, buy them dinner, etc.

    If a man holds a door open for me I don't object. But I don't stand
there waiting for it either. If I'm dating someone with more money than
I am (and since I am a student and I tend to date men in their 30s who
already have a career, this is usually the case) then I appreciate it if
they buy dinner for me. If I'm dating someone with a comperable amount
of money, it's dutch. If I ever get to the place where I have more money
than the person that I'm dating, then I'll pay. I don't know about your
"feminist" friends, but I think that it's unfair of you to say that
women don't want what they actually say they want, just because of some
instances. I've been out with no small number of men who obviously only
wanted to know if everything under my sweater was real, even though they
said that they really liked me and were really interested in me, etc.
But I certainly don't think "that's what all men want, no matter
what they say they want." If I did post something to the net on the order
of "From my experience all men really want is to get women (with a great
figure) into bed even
though they insist that they want a woman who's intelligent, bright,
etc." I imagine most of the men who read this would be rather insulted.

>I have read "The Hite Report" and similar reports, in which women 
>"honestly" discuss their sexual desires. They talk about 
>how they long for more foreplay and afterplay, and how they wish men
>would go slower and take their time. Experience tells me, however,
>that women don't really want those things, even though they say they
>do. Of course, I'm sure there are some who do (are you out there?), 
>but, in general, they are approximately the same way as the men they
>complain about.

   (Yes - I'm out here)
   So, what do women really want in bed, Seth? Just a quick tumble, a
filter cigarette, and then a good night's sleep? Having had no sexual
experiences with women, I'm not an expert on this, at least as far as
experience goes. And I could defend my point (which is - I think that
most women really do want those things, or at least more women than you
seem to think) by going into my own personal opinions on this matter (in
other words - what I like) but I think that it would be infinitely wiser
(and I'm sure that Rick Lindsley will agree with me here) not to do that. 

>I am not saying that this phenomenon is unique to women. I'm just saying
>that you can't always believe what people tell you, because people
>don't always know what they want.
 
   To an extent I'll agree with this. But you seem to think that you
know what women want more than we do, and I don't buy that at all. 

   cheers -

   elizabeth g. purtell

   (Lady Godiva)

"Her upper lip curled a little. It was a long upper lip. I liked long
upper lips."