Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site pyuxd.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!gamma!pyuxww!pyuxd!rlr From: rlr@pyuxd.UUCP (Rich Rosen) Newsgroups: net.bizarre Subject: Re: A New Language Message-ID: <1488@pyuxd.UUCP> Date: Mon, 12-Aug-85 19:41:43 EDT Article-I.D.: pyuxd.1488 Posted: Mon Aug 12 19:41:43 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 17-Aug-85 13:25:26 EDT References: <561@bu-cs.UUCP> Organization: Whatever we're calling ourselves this week Lines: 57 > [INSERT YOUR FAVORITE SLAM DANCE MOVE HERE] > > How about a net.bizarre group effort to write a new programming > language? It should be timely and vogue and offend everyone (sorta like > the fashion industry). My proposal is for: > > PPL (Punk Programming Language) Oh, yeah, toad? How about a brain-dead yuppie programming language for geeks who mock punks? Specifications: 1) No syntax. Do whatever you want, real laid back. 2) No comments. Yuppies have their heads together (ouch!) and don't need documentation. 3) Special natural language compiler that can understand yuppie statements like: > 3) There is a 50% chance the compiler will not generating error messages. 4) Compilation only takes place in presence of whiny yuppie music like Kenny Loggins, Rick Springfield, and Rod Stewart. 5) Every program allocates ALL system resources and then doesn't use them. All the resources are purchased on credit using plastic. 6) Communications is not the responsibility of the programmer. "I'm clear on your feelings, and I'm not responsible for them. If you don't understand my message that's your problem." Thus most yuppie programs don't produce any useful information. 9) No arithmetic statements; a prompt is issued for the yuppie to get out his printing calculator to do the addition. (Note also that yuppies can't count.) 10) No logic statements; yuppies do cocaine so they don't have to think. Instruction Set: (tell ME what to do, tell me what to buy....) BOOTcustom designed by L'Merdio's. REBOOT buy another pair with your VISA BPC branch and purchase on credit (acceptable operands: microwave, VCR, condo) BPR branch and play racquetball BEQ branch and eat quiche SVC special VISA call, required for yuppie purchases over $500 BDT branch and do what you're told And so on... -- "There! I've run rings 'round you logically!" "Oh, intercourse the penguin!" Rich Rosen ihnp4!pyuxd!rlr