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From: barry@ames.UUCP (Kenn Barry)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Your SO's friends and you
Message-ID: <1104@ames.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 23-Aug-85 02:16:46 EDT
Article-I.D.: ames.1104
Posted: Fri Aug 23 02:16:46 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 25-Aug-85 01:54:10 EDT
References: <467@moncol.UUCP> <1004@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP>
Organization: NASA-Ames Research Center, Mtn. View, CA
Lines: 32

From Mitch Marks (sphinx!mmar):
>This was quite a few years ago. The problem wasn't either of us getting jealous
>over the time the other spent with her/his friends.  Rather, it was my
>SO not wanting me to really be friends with any of her friends.  These were
>both male and female, and there was no question of flirting or anything like
>that.  Her attitude was just "Hey, get your own friends" -- indeed, she would
>sometimes say literally that.

	I must say I find your XSO's attitude completely bizarre. If
my SO told me to "get my own friends", and meant it, I think that would
be the end of our romance. Maybe I'm overlooking something, but I can't
think of an acceptable reason for such behavior. Am I alone in feeling
this way?

>	To be fair and give you the other side, it's true that I didn't have
>my own friends.  I had moved to live with her, and was more concerned to
>fit in with her group than to, say, invite people from my job over for
>dinner.  So I was being too much of a lame duck and a tag-along; but even
>realizing that now I still think she was being too possessive of her
>friends.

	You are far too kind. It's difficult to believe that she did
not have motivations she didn't tell you about. There are people who
prefer to end a relationship by acting intolerably until the person they're
trying to dump gets tired of it, and ends it for them. Only speculation,
of course, but perhaps it was something like that.

-  From the Crow's Nest  -                      Kenn Barry
                                                NASA-Ames Research Center
                                                Moffett Field, CA
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