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From: rooter@well.UUCP (Brian Mavrogeorge)
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: Feelings and discrimination
Message-ID: <138@well.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 18-Aug-85 21:56:36 EDT
Article-I.D.: well.138
Posted: Sun Aug 18 21:56:36 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 24-Aug-85 00:05:00 EDT
Organization: Whole Earth 'Lectronic Link, Sausalito, CA
Lines: 43

A lot of different topics all at once but I think my response to
one makes sense of how I react to the rest.  First, the question was
posed how do we feel about the need to come out.  I have strong feelings
about it from the perspective of having done it and having been fired
twice for being gay.  In my opinion, I would do it again without 
hesitation.  Harvey Milk (the slain gay Supervisor in San Fran) said
that if he was ever assasinated he hoped that the bullet would rip open
the closet doors across the nation.  One of our big problems is the
gay stereotype held by heterosexuals.  Remember the television commercials
by the National Gay Task Force?  The message was simple "we are everywhere".
Only when everyone comes out does the message come through.  Only then does
"gay" become real to our heterosexual brothers and sisters.  Only then
is it clear that they are not discriminating against some drag queen who
dresses up like a nun in San Francisco - they are discriminating against
their best friend, the guy they served in the Army with, the busboy in
the cafeteria, their wife's gynecologist, their boss, etc. etc.
   The freedom to be who you are is exhilirating!  No one defines for
me who Iam.  I do that.  Iam a whole person, loved by God, and doing what
I can with what I've got.  Not coming out means you are forever defining
yourself by someone else's stereotype.  You are buying into that stereotype.
Sure your jobs are at very real risk - others have lost jobs.  Others have
lost children.  Have lost spouses.  They felt it was better to live as
themselves to live as someone else's stereotype.
   Having said that I must admit Iam uncomfortable with bi-sexuals.  As
one person said - they are an enemy in both camps.  In the past I have
experienced the bi-sexual's ambivalence towards the struggle for gay rights.
The bi-sexual's readiness to merge back into the heterosexual society when
the going got rough.  However Iam realistic enough to understand that there
are few 100% homosexuals or heterosexuals.. there is a continuum.  I still
working through my distrust of the bi-sexual.
   And finally some brief comments about living a life whose values etc 
are so different from that of a heterosexual.  I come from a family of 5
sons.  My brothers' lives and my life are very similar.  We have the same
values.  We were brought with a strong Protestant work ethic.  We have
middle class values and believe in our religion.  We thought that the
answer to all ills was to work hard, produce more, and get ahead.  We all
wanted children.  We are all married.  We all had religious ceremonies
celebrating our relationships.  One brother is a liberal Democrat and
marched in Selma.  One is a middle-of-the-road Republican on fiscal
issues but a social liberal.  The others are Democrats.  My point here,
and yes I have rambled, is that again - we are everywhere.  We are from
all persuasions, all walks of life.  There is only small difference
between me and my brothers.  Their spouses are all women.  Mine is a man.