Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site pyuxc.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!gamma!pyuxww!pyuxc!chris From: chris@pyuxc.UUCP (R. Hollenbeck) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Singles survey Message-ID: <664@pyuxc.UUCP> Date: Tue, 20-Aug-85 09:36:18 EDT Article-I.D.: pyuxc.664 Posted: Tue Aug 20 09:36:18 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 24-Aug-85 13:13:51 EDT References: <3732@decwrl.UUCP> Organization: Bell Communications Research, Piscataway, NJ Lines: 44 > Here's an obvious singles-type question that I don't recall seeing >asked here recently: which of the following best describes the kind of future >you would most *like* to have? > > 1) You meet the MOTAS of your dreams, and live together (married or > otherwise) happily ever after; > 2) Like above, but a series of long-but-not-lifelong relationships of > complete partnership; > 3) You have many serious relationships, but live alone. > 4) You have mostly casual relationships; > 5) Some combination of 1-4 above; > 6) Other (and I know there's a lot of other possibilities - declaim at > will!) I vote for 3 and 4, with an option to live with any number of my casual MOTAS. The reason for this somewhat unconventional choice is that I find it very hard picturing one woman fulfilling all my physical, spritual, emotional, etc. needs (or me fulfilling all of hers). I'm more complicated than that, and I think most people are as well, so why assume that one person can be your lover, friend, confidante, playmate (not the Playboy kind, but the kind kids have), and co-lead guitarist? Why not admit that it takes many people to fill those roles, and that that's OK? Too many times I've met someone and thought "She's the one" only to find that she wasn't (thru no fault of hers or mine). That is, that she wasn't the ideal soul mate, and that someone else met a particular need better than she did. At first I either felt guilty about such feelings, or else thought "Well, I guess I better start looking again." Now I think perhaps the problem was not in the people I found, but in the search itself. Over the years I've met many women who are important to me but who could not be my "one and only" wife. Why not have relationships with all of them, rather than sacrifice those relationships to play Jim and Margaret Anderson. Seems to me the main reason for monogamous relationships is to bear and raise children. Since I don't want children, there's no need for monogamy.