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From: richl@lumiere.UUCP (Rick Lindsley)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Your SO's friends and you
Message-ID: <1084@lumiere.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 20-Aug-85 03:36:11 EDT
Article-I.D.: lumiere.1084
Posted: Tue Aug 20 03:36:11 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 24-Aug-85 01:23:15 EDT
References: <467@moncol.UUCP> <5608@tektronix.UUCP>
Reply-To: richl@lumiere.UUCP (Rick Lindsley)
Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR
Lines: 27
Summary: 

John Ruschmeyer writes:
It seems to me, however, that dating a person does
carry some responsibilities to that person also.

Moira Mallison writes:
The only responsibility I have to someone I am dating is to keep
appointments I have made.  It sounds to me like the  "significance"
was a little one-sided, and that your expectations came from ideas
of how it "ought to be" rather than what the relationship really
was.
------
While I can't deny that analytically Moira is correct, I would find it
comforting to know I rank high in an SO's plans. To be told that I am
third behind other friends and schoolwork might be a letdown if that
were not made clear at the outset.

The point is, that the "responsibilities to the person you are dating"
are only what you (the two of you [why doesn't English have a plural second
person?]) make them. While I agree that the bottom line is to be there
when you say you will be, it means an awful lot to me to know that
someone has made an occasional sacrifice on my behalf -- skipped a
night of homework, or told their friends "sorry, I'd like to call Rick
first and see if he wants to do something". Admittedly, too much of this
can actually mess things up (it is possible to see TOO much of a person
too) but done occasionally it adds just the right spark to a relationship.

Rick Lindsley