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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!tektronix!teklds!azure!chrisa
From: chrisa@azure.UUCP (Chris Andersen)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: What net.singles is for
Message-ID: <420@azure.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 16-Aug-85 22:03:52 EDT
Article-I.D.: azure.420
Posted: Fri Aug 16 22:03:52 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 19-Aug-85 22:23:10 EDT
References: <97@ssc-vax.UUCP> <3102@nsc.UUCP> <556@leadsv.UUCP> <540@unisoft.UUCP>
Reply-To: chrisa@azure.UUCP (Chris Andersen)
Distribution: net
Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR
Lines: 85
Summary: 

In article <540@unisoft.UUCP> tim@unisoft.UUCP (Tim Bessie) writes:
>
>It seems to me that the subjects that get the most traffic in this
>group are ones that must, by their very nature, end up with this kind of
>concession.  I for one would learn a lot more about PEOPLE (which is why
>I read this group) if people would post their own experiences instead of
>going on for pages and pages about the theoretical implications of their
>personal philosophies.  It is much more interesting to hear about something
>that happened in someone's life -- and how it affected the way they think --
>than to hear someone say "I think it is more useful to think THIS way,"
>or "People are like THIS," or "I think you are wrong when you say that,
>BECAUSE..."  This doesn't get us anywhere, it isn't fun to read (I usually
>skip over 'em when I see 'em), and I don't learn anything new
>from them.


  Okay, you asked for it [evil chuckle]  :-)

  Instead of trying to explain my views on "self-actualization", I'll present
my experiences with controlling ones behaviour.


  I believe I have stated (many times) before on this net that I was one of
those "bullied" individuals in school.  I will not go any farther on that point
because I think we have all heard to much whining in that area (from me and 
from others).

  However, I will tell you how I finally overcame those problems.

  This problem of mine lasted from the 1st grade all the way up until the 8th.
And as each year progressed and as another year followed on the footsteps of
the previous, the treament I was getting from other kids in school got 
steadily worst.  It progressed from name-calling all the way up to physical
abuse.  Near then end, it was so bad that I was getting broken bones over
the matter.

  Needless to say, I was upset over this state of affairs.

  Then, at the beginning of my 8th grade year, it changed.  

  Since the first day of the school year I had been dreading the time when
the first "incident" would happen.  And I knew it would happen eventually.
Well, time passed for a couple of weeks until one day while I was in drafting
class.  During part of the class, I got up from my desk to ask a question of
the teacher.  When I turned around, I saw one of "the bullies" (for lack of
a better term) standing over my desk, about to steal my books.  He saw me
looking at him and called out to me saying, "Hey look Chris, I'm gonna steal
your books!"

  I just looked at him and calmly said, "Go ahead" and turned back to the 
teacher.

  I still to this day do not know why I said that.  But it changed everything.
In one fell swoop I had removed forever any power the bullies had over me.
I had learned what I consider a basic rule in life:

    There is no guarantee of a good return on living a good life.  However,
  when one looks at things calmly, one realizes that IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER.

  So what if the bullies try to steal my books!  Is it worth going through
mental torture over a mass of wood pulp and ink?  

  So what if that beutiful blonde over there doesn't give me the time of day!
  So what if that guy thinks I'm an idiot!
  So what if I don't always get my way!

  You see, the more one sits around bitching and moaning about how the world
doesn't live up to how *YOU* want it to be, the less time you have to actual
acomplish the things *YOU* want to do.


  There, can I have a cookie now?

Life,
  Love,
    Laughter,
      and Hope,

	Chris Andersen
-- 
tektronix!azure!chrisa

SPECIAL NOTE: I have only 3 weeks left on this computer.  I don't know when
	      I will be able to get back on the net after I go back to school.
	      Send me e-mail if you would like to keep in touch.