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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!harvard!bu-cs!jts
From: jts@bu-cs.UUCP (Joe Szep)
Newsgroups: net.bizarre
Subject: A New Language
Message-ID: <561@bu-cs.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 10-Aug-85 18:43:21 EDT
Article-I.D.: bu-cs.561
Posted: Sat Aug 10 18:43:21 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 12-Aug-85 08:28:30 EDT
Organization: Boston Univ Comp. Sci.
Lines: 71
[INSERT YOUR FAVORITE SLAM DANCE MOVE HERE]
How about a net.bizarre group effort to write a new programming
language? It should be timely and vogue and offend everyone (sorta like
the fashion industry). My proposal is for:
PPL (Punk Programming Language)
Specifications:
1) No syntax. Do whatever you want, who cares? It won't work anyway.
2) No comments. Punks can't read.
3) There is a 50% chance the compiler will not generating error messages.
4) The instruction set makes it impossible to write a working program.
5) Every program allocates ALL system resources and then doesn't use them.
6) All communications occur at 25 M-bits and 120 dB.
7) If a program fails well enough, it is automatically overwrites /vmunix
and then crash the system.
8) No labels; you aren't going anywhere anyway.
9) No arithmetic statements; punks can't add.
10) No logic statements; punks can't think.
11 - N) *** Now it's YOUR TURN!!!!
Instruction Set: (don't tell ME what to do....)
BOOT kick the cpu
REBOOT kick it again
BREAK disk, memory, neck
DON'T exact opposite of traditional DO
DDD required at top of each program to set mood,
(short for Death, Doom, and Destruction)
JUMP off-the-stage
NOT used with DON'T
POKE