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From: ahearn@convexs.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: Sibling presence at childbirth
Message-ID: <16600003@convexs>
Date: Tue, 6-Aug-85 18:33:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: convexs.16600003
Posted: Tue Aug  6 18:33:00 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 12-Aug-85 03:33:42 EDT
References: <306@luke.UUCP>
Lines: 37
Nf-ID: #R:luke.UUCP:-30600:convexs:16600003:000:1927
Nf-From: convexs.UUCP!ahearn    Aug  6 17:33:00 1985


My daughter Lara was present at the birth of her brother, John, a little
over three years ago, when she was three years old. She has apparently survived
the supposed ``trauma'' very well, with no scars, hysteria, or symptomatic 
behavior. Furthermore, she and her brother have from the beginning been very,
very close. Perhaps her presence at the birth has something to do with their
closeness. Who knows? Seems likely to me.

We had not planned to have Lara around during delivery, but we had done a 
certain amount of ``prep'' work with her, just to satisfy her curiosity about
the pregnancy. Fortunately, when time came for Lara to leave with a friend,
she absolutely refused, then broke into tears when I tried to force the issue.
So, after a brief conference with my wife and the attending midwives (yes,
we were having a home birth; flamers take note), I made Lara a peanut-butter
sandwich, and she stayed through the entire delivery. She was actually pretty
helpful--she took over the job of stroking her mother's head, applying cold
cloths, etc. As I rememember, Lara was as pleased as we were when John was
born.

I don't know if it's a good idea to have children present at births as a 
general rule. I know that in our case, we were blessed with a pretty healthy,
intelligent, secure child, and a relatively calm birth with no complications.
I don't suspect children would benefit from the crisis atmosphere of a hospital
delivery, nor do I suspect that any child would do well in the presence of
hysterical parents.

I know that I value the experience of being a part of the births of my children
as the high points of my life to date. I'm glad that I was able to share this 
experience with Lara, and I'm a little abashed that I took so seriously the 
notion that she couldn't handle the experience _because_ she was a ``kid.''

Good topic.

Regards,

Joe Ahearn
{allegra, ihnp4, uiucds, ctvax}!convex!ahearn