Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84 exptools; site whuts.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!whuxl!whuts!amc From: amc@whuts.UUCP (Andy Cohill) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: re sex problem Message-ID: <239@whuts.UUCP> Date: Fri, 23-Aug-85 07:46:05 EDT Article-I.D.: whuts.239 Posted: Fri Aug 23 07:46:05 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 25-Aug-85 06:13:10 EDT References: <1296@hound.UUCP> <5290001@acf4.UUCP> <140@unc.unc.UUCP> <256@gymble.UUCP> <1828@reed.UUCP> Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories Lines: 54 > > I know that I posted something about this before, but I'm > intrigued. Is the general concensus out there that living alone is > unnatural, or at the very least, not preferable? > > elizabeth g. purtell *************** Disclaimer************* The opinions expressed below are those of the author. He would not possibly try to suggest that they apply to other men, women, cats, dogs, slugs, former SOs, extraterrestial beings, God, his backyard, his tablesaw, his stuffed penguin (Opus), or any other animate or inanimate object here, there, or anywhere, including other galaxies, alternate universes, and different time dimensions. ************************************** First, I do not think that it is unnatural. Preferrable? I have struggled with that all my life. A little arithmetic shows that since I left for college, I have spent about half that time living alone, and the other half with a variety of SOs and room/housemates. I have always enjoyed the emotional satisfaction of living with someone else, even just a casual roommate. I have particularly enjoyed living with my SOs (I live alone right now); there are few things more comforting that having someone in the bed next to you at night. But I have discovered that with my SOs, I tended to pay less attention to myself, and frequently found myself wishing for a few weeks alone, just to be able to relax completely. It seems very difficult to be deeply introspective when someone you care about is around the house. However, I also suspect, since these relationships did not last, that that feeling may be due in part to the person with whom I was living. I do not think the feeling will ever go away completely, though. Another thing I've noticed about hanging around with your SO; I tend to notice my surroundings less (when traveling, for example), and I think you miss opportunities to meet people because you are attached. One of the pleasures that I look forward to when traveling is the chance to hear/exchange stories with fellow travelers. Again, I think it depends on the SO. You need an SO who trusts you *completely*. Someone who is will not start feeling insecure and jealous if you wander off and strike up a conversation with someone else. Living alone is sneaky, though. It is appealing, in part, because it is so easy. You can do anything you want, without having to consider anyone else. It can make you intolerant. Sharing your life with someone is much harder, but the potential rewards are much greater, too, I think. Best regards, Andy Cohill {allegra|ihnp4}houxm!whuxl!whuts!amc