Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84 SMI; site sun.uucp Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!harvard!talcott!panda!genrad!decvax!decwrl!sun!sunny From: sunny@sun.uucp (Ms. Sunny Kirsten) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: "The Invisible Partners" Message-ID: <2615@sun.uucp> Date: Mon, 12-Aug-85 13:53:56 EDT Article-I.D.: sun.2615 Posted: Mon Aug 12 13:53:56 1985 Date-Received: Wed, 14-Aug-85 08:44:43 EDT References: <1528@utah-gr.UUCP> <1375@pyuxd.UUCP> <100@unc.unc.UUCP> <1443@pyuxd.UUCP> <2602@sun.uucp> <129@unc.unc.UUCP> Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc. Lines: 45 > Frank Silbermann > In article <2602@sun.uucp> sunny@sun.uucp (Ms. Sunny Kirsten) writes: > > > >Will you let yourself be defined by your culture? or will you be a self- > >defined, self motivated, self actualized individual, and enact the behavior > >which you feel is appropriate for you as an individual, and then accept the > >same from those around you, and together constitute a culture? > > The self-defined, self-motivated, self-actualized self-image is an illusion. > Even non-conformists fulfil culturally defined roles. The question to ask > yourself is which of society's roles is best for you, taking into consideration > your ability to play the role, and whether you get from it what you want. > It is not an illusion. Few achieve it, for it takes much effort and a great deal of willingness to rethink your life.. a scary and threatening proposition. Further, few have the intestinal fortitude to stand up against possible or actual rejection from the majority of society in order to live the way they *really* want to, rather than the way which is easiest and which causes the least rejection from the surrounding culture. None of society's roles is best for me. I cannot get from life what I want nor what I need by playing only one of the roles offered to me (with approval) by society. This is why I am a non-conformist. This is why I am self defined. This is why I try NOT to have ANY self image. This is the Zen suppression of ego. By rejecting all the roles, I suffer rejection of my chosen path, and that means that I do not get the approval which I would like. On the other hand, there are times when I pretend to be in a specific role which minimizes the rejection. > >The feminine and masculine gender roles *are* entirely relative to the culture > >in which they are defined. In some cultures a given behavior is classified as > >feminine, in another culture it is classified as masculine, and in yet another > >culture, it is not classified as either. > > So when you leave one culture and join another, it may be advantageous > to change your behavior. > No, it is advantageous to choose which culture you live in to fit the behavior which is natural for you. -- {ucbvax,decvax,ihnp4}!sun!sunny (Ms. Sunny Kirsten)