Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 (Tek) 9/28/84 based on 9/17/84; site azure.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!tektronix!teklds!azure!chrisa From: chrisa@azure.UUCP (Chris Andersen) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: A compromise on emotional self-determinism Message-ID: <417@azure.UUCP> Date: Fri, 16-Aug-85 21:20:50 EDT Article-I.D.: azure.417 Posted: Fri Aug 16 21:20:50 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 19-Aug-85 22:22:02 EDT References: <393@boulder.UUCP> <1692@hao.UUCP> Reply-To: chrisa@azure.UUCP (Chris Andersen) Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR Lines: 28 Summary: In article <1692@hao.UUCP> woods@hao.UUCP (Greg Woods) writes: > >A very sad lesson that I HAVE learned is >that you are quite right when you say the people should not be told that they >are responsible for being sad, even if I believe that that is true. In practice >it doesn't get the result you want (making your friend feel better). I've found that a better way to approach it is to draw examples from your own life. That is, tell the person about a bad time in your life and then tell them how you overcame it (this applies whether one is "self-actualized" or not). This has two benifits: 1) the person will come to trust you for your opinions because you were honest enough to share you personal (and sometimes painful) experiences with them, and 2) the person will gain confidence from knowing that others have faced (if not similar) just as tough a situation as they have and that they got through it. Life, Love, Laughter, and Hope, Chris Andersen -- tektronix!azure!chrisa SPECIAL NOTE: I have only 3 weeks left on this computer. I don't know when I will be able to get back on the net after I go back to school. Send me e-mail if you would like to keep in touch.