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From: ugdomino@sunybcs.UUCP (Michael Domino)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: marriage = commitment
Message-ID: <2070@sunybcs.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 13-Aug-85 14:17:31 EDT
Article-I.D.: sunybcs.2070
Posted: Tue Aug 13 14:17:31 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 15-Aug-85 00:42:52 EDT
References: <1044@ames.UUCP> <165@plx.UUCP> <203@steinmetz.UUCP> <3039@nsc.UUCP>
Reply-To: ugdomino@gort.UUCP (Michael Domino)
Organization: SUNY/Buffalo Computer Science
Lines: 56
Keywords: urp, ignorance
Summary: keep your name, ladies

In article <3039@nsc.UUCP> chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuq Von Rospach) writes:
>
>Society throws a lot of subtle pressures on a married couple that set any
>balance out of line. Women lose their last name, which is a traditional
>implication of ownership. Even if the woman keeps her own name, many
>segments of society still make that assumption. It may not seem like a big
>deal to you, but then you've never gotten mail addressed to 'Mrs. John
>Smith'. Very subtle, but it is there. And waiters STILL insist on giving
>the check to the man, right? All these little subtleties add up over time...
>

This business of women taking their husband's name is really a little
silly.  A few cases in point:

--My wife keeps getting notices from this university that assume that
  since I am a student she is my MOTHER.  This drives her up a wall.
  Repeated requests to the parties responsible for it do no good.
  ("We can't change that, it's in the computer!")  Even telephone
  calls from fund raisers assume this.

--When she was hospitalized for a tonsilectomy, even though the in-
  surance is in her name and through her job, I GOT THE BILL.  It
  took weeks to straighten that one out.

--The mortgage has both our names on it but all correspondence from
  banks and lawyers comes to me.  This is a great joke because while
  I'm in school SHE PAYS THE MORTGAGE.

I could go on, but you get the idea.  Thank the Lord she had her own
credit established before we got married, but wait that reminds me of
another one:

--When she changed her last name to mine, her full name became exactly
  the same as another completely unrelated person in the city.  Shortly
  after we were married, we applied for a personal loan, and were as-
  tonished when we were turned down for no apparent reason.  After
  several unproductive visits to our local TRW office, we finally
  discovered that this unknown person's credit record had been MERGED 
  with my wife's ("Golly, the computer must have made a mistake!!") 
  Don't ask me why they didn't compare SS numbers.  They couldn't say.
  This unknown person had defaulted on a $17,000 loan for a Winnebago 
  and had disappeared. (With the Winnebago!)  The bank holding the
  loan was ready to come after us for payment!

The moral, female readers, is to put an end to this quaint custom and
MAINTAIN YOUR OWN IDENTITY.  My wife had a perfectly good name before
she ever met me, and when we find a spare week for all the paperwork
she will get it back!!


-- 

Michael Domino
SUNY/Buffalo Computer Science
uucp:[bbncca,decvax,dual,rocksanne,watmath]!sunybcs!ugdomino
csnet:ugdomino@buffalo