Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site rti-sel.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!harvard!talcott!panda!genrad!decvax!mcnc!rti-sel!wfi From: wfi@rti-sel.UUCP (William Ingogly) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: A compromise on emotional self-determinism Message-ID: <349@rti-sel.UUCP> Date: Tue, 13-Aug-85 10:12:18 EDT Article-I.D.: rti-sel.349 Posted: Tue Aug 13 10:12:18 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 19-Aug-85 06:11:05 EDT References: <393@boulder.UUCP> Reply-To: wfi@rti-sel.UUCP (William Ingogly) Organization: Research Triangle Institute, NC Lines: 41 In article <393@boulder.UUCP> jon@boulder.UUCP (Jon Corbet) writes: > ... I once got a net-letter describing this "long term" >state as the "DC state" of one's emotional makeup (Oh, no, EE's on the net!). >However, the shorter-term "oscillations" can be much harder to control. It's interesting to me that several engineers and scientists I've known tended to model their own behavior and the behavior of their friends in similar ways. I suppose we all tend to interpret the world in terms we're familiar with ... >I guess my feeling is that somebody who ... cries for a month > because the SO of their dreams has >just told them to take a leap, is NOT entirely in control of said feelings, >and most certainly should not be told that they are responsible for being >sad and would be happy if they chose to [be happy]. It just does not >work that way. ... I do believe that one has the capability >to prevent a traumatic occurence from ruining one's life. And one can also improve his/her response to traumatic occurrences. If I see someone I care about dwelling on negative feelings or becoming obsessive about something, I may (depending on the circumstances) discuss with him the difficulty he's having in controlling his emotional responses. Which is better: dragging a person who's locked himself in a room with a picture of his dear departed SO out to start interacting with other people, or convincing that person to retake control of his life and engage with other people in a social context? Although the SOURCE of emotions is partly external events, we are rational animals. This means we can make an effort to understand WHY we're falling into certain behavioral patterns and change external events to modify those behavioral patterns/internal states. If sitting in your room feeling sorry for yourself doesn't make you feel any better, get off your tockus and leave the room. And it never hurts to plant a seed if you see a friend in this condition. Too many unhealthy mental states are caused by a feeling of loss of control over events in one's own life, and it can't hurt to try to convince someone that he/she CAN regain control, sometimes by a simple act like walking through a door. -- Cheers, Bill Ingogly