Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version Tektronix Network News Daemon (B 2.10.2 based); site tektronix.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!harvard!talcott!panda!genrad!decvax!tektronix!moiram From: moiram@tektronix.UUCP (Moira Mallison ) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Scheduled Gripe Meetings Message-ID: <5569@tektronix.UUCP> Date: Tue, 6-Aug-85 14:30:29 EDT Article-I.D.: tektroni.5569 Posted: Tue Aug 6 14:30:29 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 10-Aug-85 22:15:43 EDT References: <5557@cbscc.UUCP> <816@ihlpg.UUCP> <190@bcsaic.UUCP> Reply-To: moiram@tektronix.UUCP (Moira Mallison ) Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR Lines: 25 In article <224@steinmetz.UUCP> stern@steinmetz.UUCP (Harold A. Stern) writes: >What's wrong with talking about problems as they come up? I had an XSO >who used to go for weeks without saying a word and then on some given day >tell me everthing that has been bothering her for the past month. Sorry, >but "You know what I don't like about you? a,b,c,d,...z" sounded much >worse than "Please don't do that - I really don't like it" when some >offense had been committed. Unfortunate - at when there are only about >10 females at your entire school (for a ratio of 379:1), it was too bad >that her "gripe sessions" caused us to break up. Nothing is wrong with it, but sometimes I'm too caught up in it to be able to communicate. In fact, many times the more I care about the person/relationship, the harder it is for me to bring it up in the moment. And if the other person is not very good at communicating, the whole damn thing breaks down regardless of how much we care for each other. Setting up a regular time to discuss what's going on sets the stage for open clear communication. If this seems to be a problem in the relationship, better to have it scheduled than to have it all dumped on you a month later, as you say. And as bob mentioned, with practice, the need for meetings may disappear. Moira Mallison tektronix!moiram