Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site decwrl.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!ucbvax!decwrl!jackson@curium.DEC (Seth Jackson) From: jackson@curium.DEC (Seth Jackson) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: What People Want Message-ID: <3730@decwrl.UUCP> Date: Sun, 18-Aug-85 20:38:54 EDT Article-I.D.: decwrl.3730 Posted: Sun Aug 18 20:38:54 1985 Date-Received: Tue, 20-Aug-85 21:16:32 EDT Sender: daemon@decwrl.UUCP Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation Lines: 55 >>I'm sorry that I gave you that impression. I'm not trying to say that >>I know what women want better than women do. I'm just saying that women >>(and men, too) often think that they want something and insist that they >>want something, but their actions indicate otherwise. > Ok. Sorry if I flamed a bit too much. I think I possibly did get >carried away a bit. Forgive me - it's been a bad week. And I agree, a >lot of people do do that. But rest assured - there are those of us who >do want what we say we want, at least most of the time. I'm sure most people say what they want -- when they *know* what they want!>>I agree with the person who wrote that my article should really have >>been called "What People Want". The only reason I picked on women in >>particular are 1) Being a heterosexual man, what women want is a topic >>of particular interest to me; and 2) Women seem to be a lot more vocal >>than men about not being treated the way they want by the opposite sex. >>This second point becomes a source of frustration to men like me who >>try to please their women by giving them what they ask for, only to have >>it backfire. > I can see where one would get tired of hearing people complain about >how they were being treated when one is doing one's best. People are >funny. I think that a big part of the problem is that sometimes (often) >people want two things that conflict. I have that problem sometimes. One >moment one of the desires is stronger, then later on the other one is. >I'm learning to recognise this and to think things out before I say that >I want either one. But I still make rash decisions sometimes. > > cheers - > > elizabeth g. purtell > > (Lady Godiva) I think you hit the proverbial nail right on its proverbial head! Since people are complex beings, there is usually no "one thing" that they want in a given situation. They could want several, sometimes conflicting, things. A common occurence seems to be wanting one thing on an intellectual level, but wanting something entirely incompatible on an emotional level. The best we can do is to be aware of our conflicts, and use this knowledge to help us make better decisions and to help us give others more accurate messages. __ "Trouble with you is the trouble with me, You got two good eyes, but you still don't see" Seth Jackson dec-curium!jackson