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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxn!ihnp4!ihlpm!mcb
From: mcb@ihlpm.UUCP (m. baker)
Newsgroups: net.bizarre
Subject: Re: Turtle time
Message-ID: <449@ihlpm.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 24-Aug-85 11:25:28 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihlpm.449
Posted: Sat Aug 24 11:25:28 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 25-Aug-85 12:44:36 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories
Lines: 60

> In article <153@rtp47.UUCP> vollum@rtp47.UUCP (Rob Vollum) writes:
> >>>	ARE YOU A TURTLE?

You bet your sweet ass I am.

> >>Does anyone remember the rest of the TURTLE test??

I happen to still have my membership card.  It reads as follows:

FRONT:

                                International Association of
                                         TURTLES

                                  Date   3/4/80
This is to certify that

       Mark C Baker

is a member in good standing and will remain so as
long as he continues to give the password when
asked by a fellow turtle.

    OFFICIAL                     Imperial Turtle
   MEMBERSHIP             
      CARD                    S P Turtle


BACK:

   As a member in good standing you can subcribe new Turtles
as follows:

I.  We assume all prospective turtles own a Jack Ass.  On this
    assumption is the reason for the password.
    This password must be given if you are ever asked by a fellow
    member, "Are you a Turtle?"  You must then reply, "You bet your
    sweet ass I am." If you do not give the password in full because
    of embarassment or some other reason, you forfeit a beverage of
    his choice.  So always remember the password.

II. To become an official Turtle you must first solve the following
    riddles:
    1. What is it a man can do standing up, a woman sitting down,
       and a dog on three legs? (Answer: Shake Hands)
    2. What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only 
       two of? (Answer: Legs)
    3. What is a four letter word ending in K that means the same
       as intercourse? (Answer: Talk)
    4. What is it on a man that is round, hard, and sticks so far
       out of his pajamas you can hang a hat on it? (Answer: His
       Head)

III. You are now a member of the Turtle club.  Govern yourself
     accordingly and procure new members.


-- 

-- Mark