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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxj!mhuxh!mhuxv!abnji!nyssa
From: nyssa@abnji.UUCP (nyssa of traken)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Your SO's friends and you
Message-ID: <810@abnji.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 17-Aug-85 16:07:59 EDT
Article-I.D.: abnji.810
Posted: Sat Aug 17 16:07:59 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 20-Aug-85 05:44:38 EDT
References: <467@moncol.UUCP>
Organization: Terminus Hospital, Incorporated
Lines: 49

>   Just recently, another netter and I were exchanging e-mail about our
>recent breakups with our respective SO's. Although the cases were very
>different, they did have one thing in common- a dominant friend (or friends)
>of the SO who contributed directly to the breakup.

I am the other bloke.

The breakup with my XSO was precipitated by another person.  (From what
I've been able to conclude; I have no evidence except that of my own
experience.)  My X and my nemesis became friends after we met through
working together (volunteer) at conventions at something I wasn't
trained to do.  (My X has a broadcasting license, and interviewed
the guests.)  The nature of that work requires some security, in
order to protect the privacy of the guests.  Through my nemesis's
urging, I was excluded from that knowledge, as well, even though
I had frequently shown myself as quite trustworthy.  Alas, my X
began to expand this secretiveness to all aspects with which she
dealt with my nemesis, as this covered much of the basis of our
friendship, I soon was getting nothing by way of confidence
from her.

The blow-up occurred just over a month ago.  I planned to take my X to
con in New Orleans so that we could enjoy one together.  Shortly 
after making all the arrangements, my X told me that my nemesis
would be going as well.  As it turns out, in New Orleans my X left
at 9AM the first day and spent much of the first day with my 
nemesis.  By then, I was furious, when I finally saw her in the
lobby at 7PM, I told her that if she was going to spend all her 
time with my nemesis, perhaps she should move out of the room.
Our voices were not civil.  (I have never been that angry before
in my life.)  I haven't heard much of anything from her since.

The basic problem here was one where her friend appeared to 
undermine my X's trust of me.  Why she did that, I don't know.
I've since discovered that my nemesis is in the process of
undermining another local fan group, it would appear to me that
she is out for power.

The one time the three of us were in the same building, the two of
them played a little childish game to try to hurt me.  It failed.

Any other coments?
-- 
James C. Armstrong, Jnr.	{ihnp4,cbosgd,akgua}!abnji!nyssa

"If she doesn't scream, the wedding can take place!" Doctor
"Don't I have a say in the matter?" female companion
"Be quiet" Doctor
Which companion, what story?