Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2.fluke 9/24/84; site vax3.fluke.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!whuxlm!harpo!decvax!tektronix!uw-beaver!fluke!schuh From: schuh@fluke.UUCP (Michael Schuh) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: offensive to mathematicians (and engineers too, I suppose) Message-ID: <1451@vax3.fluke.UUCP> Date: Thu, 15-Aug-85 22:06:51 EDT Article-I.D.: vax3.1451 Posted: Thu Aug 15 22:06:51 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 24-Aug-85 02:06:39 EDT Distribution: net Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc., Everett, WA Lines: 46 Keywords: mathematicians physicists engineers fires bed-wetting *** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE *** No! I won't! You can't make me do it! ... No! Not that! Not the Canonical List of Light Bulb Jokes! Arrrrgh!... A few years ago I had the simply *delightful* experience of attending the Colorado School of Mines, from which I eventually graduated. As an entirely engineering school, the students tended to look down on other scholastic pursuits, the pure sciences (chemistry, physics) being considered as merely amusing while other 'useless' and 'irrelevant' disciplines (math) were joked about incessantly. Liberal studies (speeling, wRitgn) were simply ignored. The engineers to-be, however, usually had a good sense of humor about themselves: I learned this joke while at Mines... - * - - * - - * - - * - - * - - * - - * - - * - - * - - * - - * - It came to pass one night that there were in a hotel a physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician, each in a separate room. Fortunately for this joke, a small fire broke out in each room. The physicist woke up, took note of the fire, and quickly made some observations and measurements. Using the back the hotel's wine list, the physicist made a few quick calculations and then, grabbing a fire extinguisher, aimed one short burst at the flames, putting the fire out. The physicist then crawled back into the dry bed and went to sleep. The engineer woke up, took note of the fire, and quickly made some observations and measurements. Using the back a rather seamy magazine, the engineer made a few quick calculations and then, grabbing a fire extinguisher, throughly hosed down the room, putting the fire out. The engineer then crawled back into the wet bed and went to sleep, dreaming about the seamy magazine. The mathematician woke up, took note of the fire, and quickly made some observations and measurements. Using some chalk and the wall of the room, the mathematician made a few quick calculations. Exclaiming "A solution exists!", the mathematician then crawled back into the dry bed and went to sleep. - * - - * - I suppose there is a moral here somewhere, but I wouldn't know - I don't have any morals! Mike Schuh/ms274G/John Fluke Mfg Co/Box C9090/Everett WA 98206 USA/206-356-6241 {{cornell,decvax,ihnp4,sdcsvax,tektronix,utcsrgv}!uw-beaver} \ {allegra,microsoft,gatech!sb1,hplabs!lbl-csam,decwrl!sun,sunup} -- !fluke!schuh {ssc-vax,hplsla,wavetek,physio,uw-vlsi,cae780,tikal,telematic} /