Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version Tektronix Network News Daemon (B 2.10.2 based); site lumiere.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!vax135!cornell!uw-beaver!tektronix!lumiere!richl From: richl@lumiere.UUCP (Rick Lindsley) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Your SO's friends and you Message-ID: <1084@lumiere.UUCP> Date: Tue, 20-Aug-85 03:36:11 EDT Article-I.D.: lumiere.1084 Posted: Tue Aug 20 03:36:11 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 24-Aug-85 01:23:15 EDT References: <467@moncol.UUCP> <5608@tektronix.UUCP> Reply-To: richl@lumiere.UUCP (Rick Lindsley) Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR Lines: 27 Summary: John Ruschmeyer writes: It seems to me, however, that dating a person does carry some responsibilities to that person also. Moira Mallison writes: The only responsibility I have to someone I am dating is to keep appointments I have made. It sounds to me like the "significance" was a little one-sided, and that your expectations came from ideas of how it "ought to be" rather than what the relationship really was. ------ While I can't deny that analytically Moira is correct, I would find it comforting to know I rank high in an SO's plans. To be told that I am third behind other friends and schoolwork might be a letdown if that were not made clear at the outset. The point is, that the "responsibilities to the person you are dating" are only what you (the two of you [why doesn't English have a plural second person?]) make them. While I agree that the bottom line is to be there when you say you will be, it means an awful lot to me to know that someone has made an occasional sacrifice on my behalf -- skipped a night of homework, or told their friends "sorry, I'd like to call Rick first and see if he wants to do something". Admittedly, too much of this can actually mess things up (it is possible to see TOO much of a person too) but done occasionally it adds just the right spark to a relationship. Rick Lindsley