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From: jackson@curium.DEC (Seth Jackson)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Control of Emotions
Message-ID: <3616@decwrl.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 14-Aug-85 11:49:52 EDT
Article-I.D.: decwrl.3616
Posted: Wed Aug 14 11:49:52 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 19-Aug-85 06:55:56 EDT
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I think this discussion has realy gotten on the wrong track. The 
important point is not controlling one's emotions, but rather controlling
one's *attitude* towards one's emotions. If your SO rejects you, or if
you have some other upsetting experience, it is normal and natural to
feel sad, hurt, or whatever. "Controlling your emotions" so that you felt
happy in this situation would be neither normal nor healthy.

The key is your attitude towards your sadness. This is something that
you *do* have a great deal of control over. You could choose the attitude
that this sadness is a terrible thing and that you can't handle it and
that you'll never get over it, and as a result, you could go into deep
depression. Obviously, this is a self-destructive attitude. On the other
hand, you can choose the attitude that yes, you feel bad, but these
things are a part of life, and you'll accept it, and you'll see what 
you can do to move forward and overcome it.

The "self-actualized" person is not a robot who can turn his feelings
on and off. Rather, s/he is a wise person who understands his/her
feelings, where they come from, and how to deal with them.
__

"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world" 

				Seth Jackson
				dec-curium!jackson