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From: hoff@ihuxa.UUCP (Hoff)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Hurting the other by a "no"
Message-ID: <750@ihuxa.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 16-Jul-85 00:56:56 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihuxa.750
Posted: Tue Jul 16 00:56:56 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 17-Jul-85 07:53:05 EDT
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Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories
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> > Having to reject someone is ALMOST as bad as BEING rejected.
> >
> > 	Frank Silbermann
> 
> Yes!!!  And I still haven't learned how to do it to my satisfaction (ie,
> gently, but clearly--I tend to err on either side, and resulting situations
> are not nice.)  
> I know it's possible--but how?  
> I will bet that someone out 'there' is thinking, 'You're young--you'll learn.'
> To which I reply, how many more people will I hurt before I get my act 
> together?  I'd rather learn from someone else's experience.  There's enough
> pain in the world already--why create more?
> 
> 					AMBAR

I'm a (almost totally) self-actualized individual and I KNOW that my
emotions are my own CHOICE.  Yes, folks, choice.  If I cannot handle
a no from you, it is my own growing that I had best tend to.  I also
bring this into my relationships.  If I say "no thank-you" to someone
and they are hurt, it does move me a bit.  But I realize that to treat
them as any less a person than what I asked to be treated (ie. give
them a chance to choose to be responsible for their emotions) would be
looking down upon them.

			Gypsy (Julie Hoff)  ....!ihnp4!ihuxa!hoff