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From: fsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread
Message-ID: <596@unc.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 13-Jul-85 21:03:54 EDT
Article-I.D.: unc.596
Posted: Sat Jul 13 21:03:54 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 15-Jul-85 01:15:00 EDT
References: <968@peora.UUCP> <1424@mtx5b.UUCP> 
Reply-To: fsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann)
Organization: CS Dept., U. of N. Carolina at Chapel Hill
Lines: 66
Summary: 

In article  jer@peora.UUCP (J. Eric Roskos) writes:
>	One day, I met a person in a sandwich shop named Alison.
>	I thought Alison was the greatest thing since sliced bread,
>	because she seemed just like me, somehow.  Well, I wanted
>	to tell her this, "Hi, I think you are the greatest thing
>	since sliced bread," etc., (well, not quite that way),
>	but this friend of mine always advised me "No, you mustn't
>	do it that way!  Such honesty never works!"

Honesty is not the point.  A woman KNOWS she is only mortal.
If you come on like you're in love and you hardly even know her,
well, what is she to think of you?  Isn't this the essence of
puppy-dogism?

>	Instead, he proposed the sort of approaches towards social
>	interaction which you are often proposing here.

I am not exactly sure what you mean.  I certainly don't advocate
trying to copy some Las Vegas lounge lizard.  Perhaps you're reading
things into my postings that I didn't intend.

>	Well, being a shy person back then, I actually tried neither,
>	and instead one day after many tries just merely gave her a flower.

Excellent idea!  In fact, Eric Weber suggested this in one of his books
(I'm not sure if it was _How_to_Pick_Up_Girls_, he wrote several books).

>	Eventually I discovered that she didn't like the sort of people
>	who acted the way you are describing.  On the other hand,
>	I discovered that most of the female friends of this friend of mine
>	didn't like the sort of people who were all honest and ingenuous
>	the way I was; they felt I didn't have this "class" you referred to.
>	This led me to realize ...  [that different people respond to different
>	approaches].

In her book, _The_Truth_About_What_Women_Want_in_Men_, Susan Eno explains
why some women pair up with tough, superficial, uncaring men.
She says that women really want a man who is both --

	1) tough, confident, and competitive, so he can protect her
		from the world,
and
	2) sensitive, vulnerable and caring so she can feel loved.

It is difficult to find men capable of relating to people in BOTH modes.
So, some women compromise and choose a man who is only 1), while others
settle for a man who is only 2).  But, what women really want is someone
who can go either way, depending upon what is appropriate to the situation.
I, myself, am a 2), trying to tack on some 1) characteristics.

I was discussing women a couple of weeks ago with a friend of mine.
This guy is a "Big Man On Campus".  He'll be president of the senior class
this fall.  He's active in student government and the fraternity system.
He complained that, while he knows hundreds of women, and dates frequently,
he still feels lonely.  He doesn't know how to switch modes from being
the jolly "master of ceremonies" type, so his relationships, though pleasant,
lack intimacy.  Because of his religious beliefs, casual sex is out of
the question.

I responded told him that I have the reverse problem, namely, how
do I get women to notice me in the first place?  Once I know the
woman cares for me a little, I can take it from there.

We agreed that, together, the two of us would make one hell of a guy!

	Frank Silbermann