Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site ucla-cs.ARPA Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!mtuxo!mtunh!mtung!mtunf!ariel!vax135!cornell!uw-beaver!tektronix!hplabs!sdcrdcf!trwrb!trwrba!cepu!ucla-cs!alex From: alex@ucla-cs.UUCP Newsgroups: net.flame Subject: Signature Line Awards Message-ID: <6259@ucla-cs.ARPA> Date: Sat, 6-Jul-85 18:36:13 EDT Article-I.D.: ucla-cs.6259 Posted: Sat Jul 6 18:36:13 1985 Date-Received: Thu, 11-Jul-85 05:38:56 EDT Reply-To: alex@ucla-cs.UUCP (Mud) Distribution: net Organization: UCLA Computer Science Department Lines: 67 [This posting may have already gotten out (in a slightly different form), but since there is no record of it on our machine I'll try again. Flame away about that if you want.] Some people have such STUPID, UNINTERESTING, LENGTHY, or OBNOXIOUS signature lines that it is clearly time to recognize their accomplishments with: THE FIRST ANNUAL USENET SIGNATURE LINE AWARDS While my opinion, of course, is the only one that matters, rather than pick the winners myself, I'm simply providing the categories and some nominations, and I'll let you, the dregs of society, that read net.flame provide additional nominations and select the winners. Here are the categories: LONGEST: Now that Edward Bennett has bowed to intense net pressure and shortened his wheelchair signature line, it appears that Jeanette Zobjeck's recent 20 line signature line is the sure winner here. She not only manages to be both boring and lengthy, but also manages to include her signature line twice in just about every message she posts. I guess living in Wisconsin must be rough. Has anybody seen any longer or more boring signature line? MOST OFFENSIVE: This category honors the signature line that manages to get the most people on the net upset with it's libelous, sexist or racist comments. Anyone using Scott Turner's now legendary *thing* flame as a signature line would win easily. Perhaps Gordon Moffett can be the judge of this category, since he apparently knows offensive material when he sees it! MOST COMPLETE ADDRESS: This award is for those lonely usenetters who put every possible path from any site in the world to their account, and include their home address and phone number, only to find out that the reason their mailboxes are empty is not that no one knows where they are, but is instead that they really aren't liked by anyone. Any idiot including longitude and lattitude should expect to be nominated here. STUPIDEST: This category is for those signature lines that are completely incomprehensible to anyone with an IQ over 10, or contain a large drawing that could have easily been done by a blindfolded, lobotomized four year old. Rob Bernardo's unicorn is a good candidate here, but it could be a tough battle against Jeanette's unintelligible scrawl (is that what you think a *thing* should like, Jeanette?), the imbecilic starship Enterprise drawings that pop up every once in awhile, and quotes borrowed from the fortune program. FUNNIEST: To be nominated in this category, a signature line must have made you laugh out loud and immediately run to tell your friends and co-workers about the incredibly funny signature line you just saw. What? There are no nominations in this category? Hmmm... Are there other categories? Please post your nominations to random groups (as I don't read net.flame) and I'll summarize by following up to net.abortion and net.lang.pascal. Wait Chuqui, I'm only joking. Put that gun away... AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH. Alex Support Drunk Drivers against Mothers.