Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site brl-tgr.ARPA Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!mit-eddie!think!harvard!seismo!brl-tgr!wmartin From: wmartin@brl-tgr.ARPA (Will Martin ) Newsgroups: net.garden,net.consumers Subject: Grass Message-ID: <11461@brl-tgr.ARPA> Date: Wed, 10-Jul-85 16:49:13 EDT Article-I.D.: brl-tgr.11461 Posted: Wed Jul 10 16:49:13 1985 Date-Received: Fri, 12-Jul-85 04:46:50 EDT Distribution: net Organization: USAMC ALMSA Lines: 48 Xref: watmath net.garden:587 net.consumers:2564 As I walked down the street from the bus stop yesterday, looking at all the front lawns on the block, this thought occurred to me: Grass is *terrible* stuff, unless you can eat it. It needs mowing, watering, de-weeding, etc., or it turns into a real mess. So why on earth does every house have a front lawn and a back yard that are full of *grass*? Why haven't we long ago realized that grass is the wrong stuff to put around our houses, and chosen instead some nice low-growing, no-maintenance ground cover that will force out weeds on its own and let people enjoy their little plots of land instead of having to slave over them to keep them looking "nice", by an arbitrary social standard? [Note: "every house" in the above is poetic license; I know it really means 99.9999% of suburban and midwest urban houses, plus some large percentage of others, considering rowhouses and townhouses with no yards in various urban areas, OK? (This is known as "CYA" in the trade...)] Possible reasons: 1) There is a vast conspiracy by the grass trust to force all homeowners into being servants of the entrenched interests. 2) There really is *no* other plant variety/species/type other than grass that will fit the characteristics needed. 3) We have been brainwashed by the golf and croquet cartels to believe that "lawn" = "grass-covered" instead of just "plant-covered" patch of earth, and this has been going on for centuries (reference the stately homes of England, set admidst rolling grassy stretches). [Hmmm... what were these golf and croquet people into before there were golf & croquet?...] 4) Grass is a holdover, like windows that need washing, from the days when people had servants to do the work for them. We lost the servants, but retained the stuff that needs servants to keep up... 5) This is all a bad dream. Well, 1 and 3 seem unlikely, because not enough money is made to support the conspiracies. 2 seems unlikely, given the diversity of plant species on this planet -- anyone care to name some contenders for the "grass replacement"? 4 & 5 seem pretty likely... Comments, anyone? Will Martin USENET: seismo!brl-bmd!wmartin or ARPA/MILNET: wmartin@almsa-1.ARPA