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From: haas@utah-gr.UUCP (Walt Haas)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: When does a friend become an SO?
Message-ID: <1509@utah-gr.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 11-Jul-85 15:58:38 EDT
Article-I.D.: utah-gr.1509
Posted: Thu Jul 11 15:58:38 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 18-Jul-85 00:56:52 EDT
Organization: Univ of Utah CS Dept
Lines: 19

The discussion about when a friend turns into an SO assumes that
there is a clear dividing line.  I used to believe this myself, but
in the last few years my real-world experience hasn't supported
the idea of a clear line.  For example, some women that I am close
to could be described as very close friends, except that we also
have sex occasionally.  This could conceivably hurt a friendship in
which one or both parties had a fair degree of sexual guilt, but in
the cases I'm thinking of there is no such guilt and no such harm
to the friendship has occurred.  Are these women really significant
to me?  Most definitely!  How can I tell?  Well, one way is that
the friendship really IS a friendship, ie. it doesn't depend on the
sexual part of the relationship - if one of us isn't into sex for
some reason or other the friendship doesn't deteriorate.  These
friendships depend more on such things as openness, mutual respect
and shared values than on any expectation of sexual exclusiveness.
Why is this worth mentioning?  Because it happens in the real world,
but nothing in any of my previous experience taught me to expect it.

Cheers  -- Walt Haas   ...{decvax | ihnp4 | seismo}!utah-cs!haas