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From: alex@ucla-cs.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: Signature Line Awards
Message-ID: <6259@ucla-cs.ARPA>
Date: Sat, 6-Jul-85 18:36:13 EDT
Article-I.D.: ucla-cs.6259
Posted: Sat Jul  6 18:36:13 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 11-Jul-85 05:38:56 EDT
Reply-To: alex@ucla-cs.UUCP (Mud)
Distribution: net
Organization: UCLA Computer Science Department
Lines: 67

[This posting may have already gotten out (in a slightly different form),
 but since there is no record of it on our machine I'll try again.  Flame
 away about that if you want.]

Some people have such STUPID, UNINTERESTING, LENGTHY, or OBNOXIOUS signature
lines that it is clearly time to recognize their accomplishments with:
 
      THE FIRST ANNUAL USENET SIGNATURE LINE AWARDS


While my opinion, of course, is the only one that matters, rather
than pick the winners myself, I'm simply providing the categories and
some nominations, and I'll let you, the dregs of society, that read
net.flame provide additional nominations and select the winners.

Here are the categories:

LONGEST:  Now that Edward Bennett has bowed to intense net pressure
and shortened his wheelchair signature line, it appears that Jeanette
Zobjeck's recent 20 line signature line is the sure winner here.
She not only manages to be both boring and lengthy, but also manages to
include her signature line twice in just about every message she posts.
I guess living in Wisconsin must be rough.

Has anybody seen any longer or more boring signature line?

MOST OFFENSIVE:  This category honors the signature line that manages
to get the most people on the net upset with it's libelous, sexist or
racist comments.  Anyone using Scott Turner's now legendary *thing*
flame as a signature line would win easily.  Perhaps Gordon Moffett
can be the judge of this category, since he apparently knows offensive
material when he sees it!

MOST COMPLETE ADDRESS:  This award is for those lonely usenetters who put
every possible path from any site in the world to their account, and
include their home address and phone number, only to find out that the
reason their mailboxes are empty is not that no one knows where
they are, but is instead that they really aren't liked by anyone.

Any idiot including longitude and lattitude should expect to be
nominated here.

STUPIDEST:  This category is for those signature lines that are 
completely incomprehensible to anyone with an IQ over 10, or contain
a large drawing that could have easily been done by a blindfolded,
lobotomized four year old.  Rob Bernardo's unicorn is a good candidate
here, but it could be a tough battle against Jeanette's unintelligible
scrawl (is that what you think a *thing* should like, Jeanette?), the
imbecilic starship Enterprise drawings that pop up every once
in awhile, and quotes borrowed from the fortune program.

FUNNIEST:  To be nominated in this category,  a signature line must
have made you laugh out loud and immediately run to tell your
friends and co-workers about the incredibly funny signature line
you just saw.  What?  There are no nominations in this category?
Hmmm...

Are there other categories?

Please post your nominations to random groups (as I don't read
net.flame) and I'll summarize by following up to net.abortion and
net.lang.pascal.  Wait Chuqui, I'm only joking.  Put that gun away...
AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH.

Alex

Support Drunk Drivers against Mothers.