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From: jlowry@bbnccv.UUCP (John Lowry)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Probably been seen before ...
Message-ID: <211@bbnccv.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 12-Jul-85 16:00:47 EDT
Article-I.D.: bbnccv.211
Posted: Fri Jul 12 16:00:47 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 13-Jul-85 13:21:36 EDT
Reply-To: jlowry@bbnccv.UUCP (John Lowry)
Organization: Bolt Beranek and Newman, Cambridge, MA
Lines: 78


     	     And the Chief Programmer sent his Analysts to the User  and
     said, "Let the Specifications be written." And there were meetings,
     and lunches, and telephone  calls.   And  the  Specifications  were
     written.  And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, one month.

     	     And  the  Chief  Programmer examined the Specifications and
     saw that they were too ambitious.  And he separated  the  mandatory
     features  from  the  optional  features and he called the mandatory
     features  "Requirements",  and  he  called  the  optional  features
     "Deferred",  and  the  Users  called  him  names.   And  the  Chief
     Programmer gave the Specifications to the Analysts and  said,  "Let
     the Requirements be analyzed and let the Files be designed." And it
     was so.  And the Chief Programmer said, "Let  the  Software  Houses
     put  forth  their  Salesmen,  and  let  us  have  a Data Management
     System." And it was so.  The  Software  Houses  brought  forth  all
     manner  of  Salesmen  who  presented  their  packages,  and claimed
     wondrous things for them, each according to his own file structure.
     And it came to pass that a Data Management System was selected; and
     the Chief Programmer saw that it was good.  And there was a  Payday
     and the Happy Hour, a second month.

     	     And  the  Chief Programmer said, "Let the System be divided
     into parts, and let each part be called a 'Module'.   And  let  the
     programming  teams  be  formed  and let each be assigned to write a
     Module." And it was so.   And  the  Chief  Programmer  created  the
     programming  teams  with two levels, a greater and a lesser; and he
     called the greater the "Senior  Programmers",  and  he  called  the
     lesser  the "Junior Programmers".  And he gave the greater dominion
     over the lesser.  And the Chief Programmer saw that  it  was  good.
     And  the  Junior  Programmers  saw it differently.  And there was a
     Payday and the Happy Hour, a third month.

     	     And the Chief Programmer  said,  "Let  the  programming  be
     started  and  let  much overtime be consumed, for there are but two
     months left." And the Programmers, both the Senior and the  Junior,
     were  much  afraid, and they strove to please the Chief Programmer.
     And they flowcharted, and they coded, each in his own fashion.  And
     the  Chief  Programmer  looked upon the work and liked it not.  And
     the Chief Programmer said, "Let there be a Standard", and there was
     a Standard.  And the Programmers looked upon the Standard and liked
     it not.  And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, a fourth month.

     	     And the Chief  Programmer  said,  "Let  there  be  Progress
     Reports,  so  we  can monitor and control", and there were Progress
     Reports.  And the Chief Programmer looked upon the Progress Reports
     and  saw  that  the  Due  Date  was  not  to be met.  And the Chief
     Programmer rose, pressed his suit, shaved his beard, and went  unto
     the Project Manager and groveled.  And the Chief Programmer pointed
     his finger and caused Blame to  issue  forth  upon  all  manner  of
     creatures who sold Hardware and Software.  And the Chief Programmer
     asked for an extension.

     	     And the Project Manager was  exceedingly  angry,  and  cast
     doubts  upon the Chief Programmers ancestry and uttered a multitude
     of threats.  but it came to pass that an extension was granted, and
     the  Chief  Programmer  took  the Extension back to the programming
     teams, and there was much rejoicing.  And the  programming  of  the
     modules  was completed.  And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour,
     a fifth month.

     	     And  the  Chief  Programmer  said,  "Let  the  Modules   be
     integrated,  one  with  another, so that System Testing may begin."
     And it was so.  Two by two the Modules were  integrated,  one  with
     another.  And great difficulties were experienced and many hours of
     overtime were consumed, and many cups of coffee were consumed.  And
     it came to pass that System Testing was completed.  And there was a
     Payday and the Happy Hour, a sixth month.

     	     Then the Chief Programmer did go to the Project Manager and
     said unto him, "Behold, I bring you tidings of great joy which will
     come to all the Users, for on this day, the System  is  completed."
     And  suddenly there was with them a multitude of Users praising the
     Chief Programmer and saying,
     
     		     "Glory be to the System in the highest,
     
     		     but can you make this one small change"?