Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: Notesfiles $Revision: 1.7.0.5 $; site uiucme Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!uiucdcs!uiucme!seefromline From: keith@uiucme.uiucme Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: why am I saying this? Message-ID: <500010@uiucme> Date: Wed, 10-Jul-85 14:45:00 EDT Article-I.D.: uiucme.500010 Posted: Wed Jul 10 14:45:00 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 13-Jul-85 08:09:49 EDT Lines: 108 Nf-ID: #N:uiucme:500010:000:3017 Nf-From: uiucme.uiucme!keith Jul 10 13:45:00 1985 A young woman got married a few years back. Her husband was a service respresentative for a well-known computer firm, and was kept out of the house a great deal by equipment that kept breaking, his beeper, and his boss. About a year ago, his brother got back from an expedition in central Australia, collecting sand specimens for his dissertation in comparative soil mechanics. He had no where else to stay and no money, so he moved in with the happy couple. That's when the trouble began. This brother really liked baked ham. But he always remembered the way his father died, choking on a clove bud which had decorated the top of the ham. If there were just a few cloves in the ham, he wouldn't say anything. But if there were more than three, he would get up and storm out of the room. One day the brother came home late from work. He had been making repairs to his triaxial test machine, and boy was he hungry! The problem was that the baked ham had four cloves, and (because he was late) it was too well done. Our intrepid service representative got home later that night, and found his wife making airline reservations to go home to her mother in East Snapbeckon. "What are you making reservations for?" He asked. And she said . . . . . (* obligatory (N! * M! / 14) linefeeds *) "I'm booking over that four-clove leaver, though I've overcooked before!" :r .signature Keith U of Ill Mech Eng uiucdcs!uiucme!keith lanoitnetninu ylerup si daed ro gnivil nosrep yna ot ecnalbmeseR * * * * * * * * ANNOUNCING * * * * * * * * The Similar Punch-Line Contest!! Can you think of a punch line like the one above? If you can, you could win the Grand Prize!!!! (Let's face it, reading the joke is pretty tiresome, so all we want here is the punch lines. We'll all have a good time making up the jokes to fit them.) Examples: "I'm snookered over this four-beaked plover that I'd seen in books before" "I'm hooking, Grover; it's thirty bucks and over, but I'm underage for sure" And the great old classic "I'm looking over a four loaf cleaver that I'd overlooked before" SEND YOUR ENTRIES NOW! Judging will be based entirely on wit and tonal qualities of the entry (it's got to be funny and it's got to sound right). Be sure to use proper punctuation. EVERYBODY WINS ONE OF THESE PRIZES: Grand Prize: you will have the opportunity to avoid reading all the entries First Prize: you will be able to miss reading at least half of the entries Runner-Ups (everybody who doesn't win the Grand or First Prizes): You will read all the entries (Send adverse reactions to /dev/null, my installation doesn't subscribe to net.flames) "But where am I physically located, at the present time?" I persisted. He sighed. "I'm afraid neither physical location nor time have much meaning here." I realized how annoying it was to stand next to someone that was always ruffling the feathers in his wings.