Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: Notesfiles $Revision: 1.7.0.5 $; site uiucdcs Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!uiucdcs!seefromline From: blanken@uiucdcs.Uiuc.ARPA Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Offensive to Armless... Message-ID: <9900369@uiucdcs> Date: Fri, 12-Jul-85 21:02:00 EDT Article-I.D.: uiucdcs.9900369 Posted: Fri Jul 12 21:02:00 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 13-Jul-85 15:16:46 EDT Lines: 89 Nf-ID: #N:uiucdcs:9900369:000:2694 Nf-From: uiucdcs.Uiuc.ARPA!blanken Jul 12 20:02:00 1985 ###### from fritz at the the bike shop ####### A parish had an ad in the local newspaper for the job of bell ringer. Included in the ad was the fact that the parish was an equal oppurtunity employer. Well, on the day of the interview, only one person showed up for the job. The parishoner noticed that the applicant didn't have any arms, but still, he adhered to the truthfulness of the ad and started the interview in spite of the obvious handicap. "Well, I guess the first question to ask" the parishoner said "is how do you propose to ring the bell?" "Let's go up the belltower and I'll show you." replied the man. So, up the tower they went and when they reached the top, the man said "Here's how I'll ring it." and he backed up a few paces and ran headlong into the bell, face first! Sure enough, the bell rang loud and clear. The parishoner then said "You know, we ring that bell three times a day. One of those three times is at noon. Do you think you can do that twelve times?" "Sure." replied the man, and with that he backed up to show him again. Running headfirst, he slammed into the bell so hard that he rebounded off of it and staggered all the way back to ledge and flipped right over the edge and fell to his death. The parishoner ran down the tower and called the paramedics. After the ambulance arrived, one of the paramedics asked "Do you know this man's name?" The parishoner said "Well, no, we never exchanged names during the interview. Do you know him?" And the paramedic said "Well, you know...his face rings a bell." (Wait!...there's more. ) Well, the parishoner still didn't have a bellringer, so he ran the ad for an additional week. To prove that irony exsists, the only applicant to show up was another man with no arms. The parishoner was dumbfounded, but he asked, holding his head in his hands, "How are you going to ring the bell?" The said "Let's go up the tower and I'll show you." So up the tower they went and when they got there the man said "Here's how I'll ring it." and with that he backed a couple of paces and ran headlong into the bell, face first!! He hit it so hard that he rebounded back to the ledge and flipped right over the edge and fell to his death. "Oh, Lord!" he said and ran down the tower to call the paramedics. When the paramedics arrived, it was the same pair as before. The parishoner asked immediately "Do you know this one also?" And the paramedic said "Nope, but he's a dead ringer for the other guy." ************************************************************************ "No regrets, no regards" ************************************************************************