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From: regard@ttidcc.UUCP (Adrienne Regard)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Men who (don't) make more money
Message-ID: <517@ttidcc.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 1-Jul-85 16:12:07 EDT
Article-I.D.: ttidcc.517
Posted: Mon Jul  1 16:12:07 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 5-Jul-85 04:43:49 EDT
Organization: TTI, Santa Monica, CA.
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>Does this mean you're willing to marry a man who makes less money than you?
>That you're willing to "marry below your class"? I would suspect many women
>are not. I'd be happy to hear if I'm wrong.
> Phil Ngai +1 408 749 5720


O.K., Phil, I'll take you up on that.  You're wrong.  I refuse to marry
a man who makes less money that I, and who is "below my class" whatever
that means, but that is only because I refuse to marry.

However, the man with whom I bought a home, and who is the father of my
children does in fact make less money than I do, and I can't say it makes
a hell of a lot of difference to us.

This subject was touched upon in a recent talk show that he and I were
discussing recently, though, where "career women" in their late thirties
were concerned about their biological clock, and finding a man to have kids
with, etc., etc., and one of the factors that plays a part is that educated
women (like many educated men now, reference net.singles) would not "love"
a man who was less educated/intelligent than they, which in our society
usually means makes more money.  These women have spent 20 years bucking
the system, and discover it is difficult to respect a man who hasn't clawed
his way up there, too.  Misguided? Probably, but operative.

They also deal with the double bind where, if they become attached to a
lower-paid male, their co-workers (of both sexes) and friends subtly
ridicule them for taking on a "basket case".  Men don't find themselves
ridiculed (to the extent.  I think this is changing somewhat) for marrying
a "featherbrain" or even a perfectly sane woman who doesn't make as much
money.

Yeh, so flame me for oversimplification -- I'm just bringing up another
topic, o.k.?  It takes some determination to face up to social prejudice
when persons-whose-business-it-is-not venture opinions on anyone's choice
in a mate.  I've been there and generally said "phooey", but I've been
through a lot worse than many people and thus have a thicker skin.  I
doubt this is an easy thing for people who are still sensitive.

Adrienne Regard