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From: swc@cbscc.UUCP (Scott W. Collins)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Aggressiveness
Message-ID: <5575@cbscc.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 12-Jul-85 17:03:47 EDT
Article-I.D.: cbscc.5575
Posted: Fri Jul 12 17:03:47 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 13-Jul-85 14:42:16 EDT
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories , Columbus
Lines: 53

~
(>>) : Scott
(>)  : AMBAR

>>                                                            Fortunately,
>> things ARE still changing: role playing is going down the tubes, eq-
>> uality in situation/opportunities is on the increase.  I was very fortunate
>> as to have a nice young lady ask me out to a movie recently.  I would
>> have gotten around to it (or was it a matter of mustering the courage?),
>> but she took the initiative.  
>> 		Scott
>Perhaps this has been hashed to death before, but I'm going to ask anyway:
>What reactions do the netters here have to aggressiveness/lack of same in 
>women?
>

What aspect of aggressiveness to you ask about?  Showing personal interest?
Showing physical desire? I personally have no problem with the kind of
aggressiveness (assertiveness?) that the young lady (in >>) displayed.
However, there was another woman whom I met that was aggressive about
wanting sexual intimacy.  Now, my particular beliefs are to abstain and so
that kind of forwardness was unwelcome.  Even after discussing our differences
on the subject, she made it quite clear that she would not see me exclusively
unless we slept together at some point. Mind you, I do indeed have desires,
and this one was not easy to say goodbye to as we got along so well in other
facets.  I am sure that I'm not the only guy that has been in this reversal
of roles. If it hadn't been so difficult to part company I could laugh at the
comedy of it...
In the past, however, when I have "partaken", I did enjoy the aggressiveness
of a woman.  Rather than feeling inhibited by it, I felt that it was out of
a desire for me and took as a compliment (to put it mildly). Hence, I look
forward to a wife that effectively communicates what's on her mind!

>I tend to be rather aggressive and straightforward in everything I do.
>Reactions I have gotten range from total fascination (my current SO, who
>is perfectly happy to have me initiate EVERYTHING) to polite distaste 
>(these are generally the guys I know who make a religion of holding
>doors, to reference another current discussion).  I would guess that they
>look on female aggressiveness as impinging on their masculinity.  Or
>something.  
>

I admire aggressive/assertive women over timid ones.  They won't let anyone
push them around and they take a stand on what's important to them.  However,
if a/a implies bull-headedness or bitchiness, then count me out. An open mind
and an assertive nature is a winning combination.

Scott

(Aside:
People wanting to write and tell me what a jerk I am for parting company with
the aforementioned "aggressive" woman: do the network load a favor and
save it...)