Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site rlgvax.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!whuxlm!harpo!decvax!genrad!mit-eddie!think!harvard!seismo!trwatf!rlgvax!raghu From: raghu@rlgvax.UUCP (Raghu Raghunathan) Newsgroups: net.nlang.india Subject: Re: Indian and American culture. Message-ID: <693@rlgvax.UUCP> Date: Thu, 11-Jul-85 11:06:20 EDT Article-I.D.: rlgvax.693 Posted: Thu Jul 11 11:06:20 1985 Date-Received: Wed, 17-Jul-85 03:44:33 EDT References: <2032@burdvax.UUCP> <645@homxb.UUCP> <2048@burdvax.UUCP> Distribution: net Organization: CCI Office Systems Group, Reston, VA Lines: 63 > > I do not agree with Mr. Loftus that Indian parents are creating dependence > > in their children by supporting them as long as they can. > > > > Good, glad to hear someone does not agree with me, but I never > said Indian parents are creating dependence. I said they use > dependence to teach their children how to survive. > I'd go even a step further and say Indians do foster dependence. In India, "getting along with society" and "living as a family unit" are stressed more than "individuality" or "being independent". In fact, in the upbringing of children (especially girls), individuality and creativity are often looked down on, whereas sociability and "pleasing one's elders and superiors" is encouraged. > > > I think a young person can make a rational decision. > At a young age most of the decisions that affect the rest of our > life are made. If we cannot be expected to make rational decisions > until we are old, we shouldn't do anything for ourselves. > That's true enough but *only* when one is trained to make decisions from an early age. In India, all the decisions for a child (say till he/she is 18) are made by his/her parents. Under such upbringing, it is practically impossible for a young person to make a major decision (like choosing a mate) when that decision is the first decision he/she will make in life. > > There is nothing different with an American family. One of the first > things an American male does, is bring his date home for his > parents to meet. > Some American males may bring home their dates for their parents to meet, but (in my limited exposure to American culture) I find most males live apart from the family and many don't even care to inform their parents of their marriage, let alone of their dates. I don't know how accurate I am, but in the college I went to, most male friends of mine expressly didn't care to have their parents opinion or input in the chioce of their mates, maintaining that "it was no business of theirs". I found that attitude callous. > I my original posting I stated that many of the Indians I have met > in this country have never taken a good look at what the USA is > really like. I agree with that and I think it's a shame. But you should also appreciate the difficulties involved. In India, it is very easy for a foreigner to learn about the society by studying one family since most families follow the rigid social norms very closely and most families are "typical Indian families". There is very little variance around the average. In America, on the other hand, individual variations (among individuals and families) are considerable and sometimes radical. It is impossible to study the society by studying one or even a few American families. There are so many single-parent families, "female-head" families, unmarried couples living together raising kids, separated but not divorced couples, unwed mothers, unwed fathers raising their own children etc... in addition to normal two parent families. I mean, how do you determine what is a typical family to study? - Raghu.