Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site unc.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!mcnc!unc!fsks
From: fsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social
Subject: Re: Salemanship (Warning: long, but entertaining!)
Message-ID: <594@unc.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 13-Jul-85 20:00:12 EDT
Article-I.D.: unc.594
Posted: Sat Jul 13 20:00:12 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 15-Jul-85 01:12:52 EDT
References: <968@peora.UUCP> <1424@mtx5b.UUCP> 
Reply-To: fsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann)
Organization: CS Dept., U. of N. Carolina at Chapel Hill
Lines: 54
Xref: linus net.singles:6841 net.social:774
Summary: 


In article  jer@peora.UUCP (J. Eric Roskos) writes:
>Well, Frank, I was a little annoyed that you reposted my entire article.

Sorry about that.  I just couldn't figure out which part to cut out.
I'll try harder from now on.

>I must admit I sympathize some with this "evil eye" notion.  I think it
>may be more of an Eastern European tradition than just a Yiddish one,
>since my Eastern European ancestors apparently had the same idea,
>and they are all Lutherans.  However, I don't see what this has to do
>with my original observation.

You were bothered by the way a salesman tends to emphasize the advantages
of his product, while ignoring the disadvantages and weaknesses.  Similarly,
some people are good at putting on a good front, making themselves seem better
than they really are.  I believe you expressed annoyance at the success
of this (dishonest?) tactic.

I have no sympathy for the guy who just plain _lies_ about his accomplishments.
But I believe you should try to emphasize your most attractive qualities
and distract attention from your faults as much as possible.  These will
come out soon enough anyway.  But why expose them to someone before
that person has first had a chance to appreciate your good points?

To connect this to the evil-eye business -- The person afraid of the evil
eye will dwell his disatisfactions.  He is overly modest, feeling that
pride not only goeth before a fall, but actually causeth the fall.
Focusing so much attention on his faults, such a person begins to create
a self-image based on them.  This makes it doubly difficult to improve,
since any new behavior will be seen as phony and unnatural.

The Positive-Thinker, on the other hand, focuses his attention upon what is
good (or improving) about himself, not because he is completely satisfied
with what he sees, but because a positive self-image is necessary for proper
growth.

In other words, if you tell yourself that you are stupid, you will lose
confidence in yourself, and the resulting anxiety will cause you to make
stupid mistakes, thus confirming your self-image.  If you tell yourself
that you are intelligent, you will not be afraid to use your mind.
The result is that, effectively, you will conduct your life in a more
intelligent fashion.  Similarly, if you tell yourself that you're a really
sexy guy (in your own way), you will begin to behave in a manner consistent
with your self-image.  The result is that you WILL become sexier.

So, when a person you know well seems to be promoting himself in a biased
way, he is not necessarily dishonest.  He may be merely focusing on
the bright side.  And let's face it.  A person who often puts himself down
in public is likely to do the same thing to his spouse, children,
friends or employer, once he begins to strongly identify with them.
Who wants to have someone like that around?

	Frank  Silbermann