Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/17/84; site hplabsb.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!oliveb!hplabsb!pc From: pc@hplabsb.UUCP Newsgroups: net.women Subject: Re: opportunities, women (anecdotal) Message-ID: <2998@hplabsb.UUCP> Date: Tue, 16-Jul-85 16:02:35 EDT Article-I.D.: hplabsb.2998 Posted: Tue Jul 16 16:02:35 1985 Date-Received: Thu, 18-Jul-85 06:15:19 EDT References: <893@mnetor.UUCP> <5642@utzoo.UUCP> <896@mnetor.UUCP> Organization: Hewlett Packard Labs, Palo Alto CA Lines: 53 There has been much in this group lately about "men taking care of women" and the place of women in the paid workforce. Based on my experiences, it is both naive and irresponsible for a person to become unable to support herself (& family), regardless of any contractual agreement she might have with her spouse/sugar_daddy/mate/relatives to "be taken care of." The headlines in this week's _Newsweek_ claim that over 50% of family households will be headed by a single parent by 1990 (excuse any small errors in my recollection of the cover figures). The huge majority of those household heads will be women. Now, while it may be that the missing dads are kicking in childsupport (or even alimony), those women need to be able to support their families. Anecdote #1: My aunt stayed home after marriage to raise children & keep the nest in shape. At 42 yrs old, my uncle had a severe stroke that left him permanently disabled. He could live a very long life, but will have extra- ordinary expenses. My aunt will have to be the "provider" if they are to have more than the poverty existence the government provides as assistance. Anecdote #2: My cousin stayed home after marriage to raise children & to make a picture-perfect nest. Her husband wanted a bridge partner, party planner, and fashion model, and in exchange provided the $$ for that lifestyle. It apparently was too much for him. He left her, lost a series of jobs, and is in need of psychiatric care. She now must raise two children (both with exceptional academic "potential") and will have no childsupport (since her ex is unable to hold a job). She won't have the luxury of being able to go back to school to prepare for a career. She's lost her home as well, which means pouring money into apartments. Anecdote #3: My mom & dad had an agreement that she would take care of homemaking and he would earn the money. She was forced back into the job market when finances required extra income (due to need to support their parents). Later, dad lost half his stomach to ulcers & the surgeon's blade, then fought with skin cancer. Due to health problems, he can't work much now. Mom has shown an exceptional business skill and has made it from keypunch operator to Personnel Director. Her pension and acquired benefits will be all they have at retirement time (5 yrs away). All of these women are very angry. They didn't ask for these new responsibilities and were lulled by lifetime vows and Cinderella stories. Ironically, in the case of my mom, she is obviously the one who had the business skills in the family. She's had to push for the recognition of her contributions, but her company is now looking at their women employees as good potential for filling management positions. ALSO, for the first time in my mom's life, she is beginning to believe that she has good ideas and can contribute in many domains. Her self-image has improved greatly and with that she is trying more new things. Except for still feeling she didn't ask for the stress of corporate life, she thoroughly enjoys being more "worldly" and being involved with a diverse group of people. Patricia Collins -- {ucbvax|duke|hao|allegra}!hplabs!pc