Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/17/84; site aluxe.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!rduxb!aluxe!bobhic From: bobhic@aluxe.UUCP (ADOLT) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: an oldie but a goodie Message-ID: <769@aluxe.UUCP> Date: Wed, 10-Jul-85 11:36:30 EDT Article-I.D.: aluxe.769 Posted: Wed Jul 10 11:36:30 1985 Date-Received: Fri, 12-Jul-85 00:38:51 EDT Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Allentown, PA Lines: 54 A group of soldiers were being prepared for a practice landing on a tropical island. They were told that when the LST stopped, they were to get into the water quickly, wade ashore, run up the beach to the edge of the jungle, hit the ground, crawl 100 yards into the jungle, and dig a foxhole (three men to a foxhole, as assigned). They were also warned that the major danger they might encounter was a poisonous snake. This snake is so deadly that it has no natural enemies and , therefore, will not run when encountered. It is easily identifiable by its alternating orange and black bands. The soldiers were instructed that if thy should come upon one of these snakes they should: a) grab the tail end of the snake with the left hand b) place the right hand around the snake in front of the left hand with the right thumb pointed toward the snake's head c) while holding the tail end firmly with the left hand, quickly slide the right hand up the body of the snake until the right thumb is directly over the snakes head d) forcefully bend the right thumb downward to break the snake's spine where it attaches to the head. This will kill the snake instantly. All went well for the landing, the charge up the beach, and the movement into the jungle. At one foxhole site, two men were starting to dig a foxhole and wondering what had happened to their other partner. Off to their left they heard - screaming, thrashing of the underbrush, groans ------ but, before they could move out to investigate, their partner came staggering towards them. His uniform was in shreds. He was covered with blood. His eyes were glazed. When he got to the foxhole he fell to the ground and stared in the direction he had come from. His partners were so shocked they could only blurt out -- "What happened ?" The bloody soldier took a deep breath and said: "I hit the beach, ran to the edge of the jungle, hit the ground, and started crawling into the jungle. After about 10 yards I saw an orange and black striped snake right in front of me. I grabbed its tail end with my left hand. I placed my right hand above my left hand. I held firmly with my left hand and slid my right hand up the body of the snake. When I reached the head of the snake I flicked my right thumb down to break the snake's spine ......... (--long sigh--)..................... did you ever goose a tiger ?" ------------------------------------------------