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From: tim@unisoft.UUCP (Tim Bessie)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Collected Communication 101
Message-ID: <497@unisoft.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 10-Jul-85 18:31:16 EDT
Article-I.D.: unisoft.497
Posted: Wed Jul 10 18:31:16 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 13-Jul-85 16:22:05 EDT
References: <26600132@uiucdcs>
Reply-To: tim@unisoft.UUCP (Tim Bessie)
Organization: UniSoft Systems, Berkeley
Lines: 54
Summary: 

In article <26600132@uiucdcs> you write:
>Hmm.. but my WILL to do something while doing nothing carries me through
>the interaction as if I were balancing on one leg with my eyes closed.
>I can't do it long, and I fall back into the old firmly rooted pattern.
>But I learned a bit more along the way.
>
>
>Dan LaLiberte
>liberte@uiucdcs.Uiuc.ARPA
>ihnp4!uiucdcs!liberte

     These feelings are really hard to get rid of.  I don't even know if I
WANT to get rid of them.  This goes back to the earlier discussion of
wanting to meet someone because they are attractive of beautiful to you.
Let's say you have some fairytail image of the most beautiful woman... for
me, it's long, flaming red hair, piercing green eyes, alabaster skin,
a sort of stern, yet sad expression, playing a lute in a cozy room
someplace... a very story-book image.
     Now, I see someone like this (minus the lute, etc.) every once in awhile.
Someone that fits some image, or set of images I have about the kind of
woman I would die for.  What do you DO in situations like this?  Of course,
there's no reason, other than looks, that I should want to meet this woman
more than any other, and the chances are slim that they'll meet my ideas of
what kind of a person they are.  But one look, and "Oh, catch me!  I'm
swooning!"  Well, those kind of feelings... the quickened heartbeat, the
lump in your throat.  What do you do?  I usually go "Damnit!  Why can't I
just walk up and say hello?" and feel bad for awhile.
     I've thought, what if someone walked up to ME on the street, in a
bookstore, or some other place not very conducive to meeting people, and
said "Hi!  I saw you over here and wanted to meet you!"  I would feel good,
but also a little suspicious, since most people wouldn't do that.  Either
this person is quite special, quite crazy, or quite desperate.  Not to
judge, but it's an awkward situation.  For a woman, its probably even
MORE awkward, given our society.
     The question is, the desire to walk up and meet this person is stronger
in me than if it were someone that held no visual mystique for me.  So, how
much of it is my individual prejudices toward one type of woman, and how
much of it is real longing to meet the person?  Is one more valid than the
other?  Does it matter?  It's probably something not worrying about, and
it would be much more expediant to follow up on my feelings, however socially
unacceptable they are, but again, it's difficult.

					- Tim Bessie
					(unisoft!tim)
					(formerly unisoft!thb)

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     It is, predominantly, fun.  It wasn't always that way, but it is now.
There seems to be no limit to it, this delight.  Vistas are constantly
opening up.  Older generations would have a hard time understanding this,
because of various psychological hang-ups, such as the Protestant Work Ethic
and Freud.  But we don't think about the past, not any more.
				- Thomas Disch
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