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From: cassidy@fluke.UUCP (Rion Cassidy)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Just how far can friendship go?
Message-ID: <800@vax2.fluke.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 8-Jul-85 12:21:23 EDT
Article-I.D.: vax2.800
Posted: Mon Jul  8 12:21:23 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 16-Jul-85 04:26:04 EDT
References: <317@azure.UUCP>
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Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc., Everett, WA
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> 
> Recently I posted a query to this newsgroup asking just where the drawing
> line between friendship and SOship lies.  The main purpose behind this was
> to determine just how far some people would consider taking a friendship
> (ie one that remains purely platonic).
> 
> Mainly I'm concerned with the physical aspects of a relationship.  That is,
> just how physical can friends be before they can no longer be considered 
> just friends?  I'll give an example to show what I mean.
> 
> In college this past year, I got to know a female student who hung out at the
> campus radio station like I did.  She already had a boyfriend, so any sort of
> SOship was understandably ruled out.  However, we carried on much like we were
> SOs.  That is, we hugged quite often.  We played (for lack of a better term)
> snugglebunnies on the coach.  But we never did 'The Act' as Ann Landers refers
> to it.  About the most we ever did was just shy of kissing (on the lips).      
> 
> The point I would like to make about this is this:  We never did anything 
> serious, and at this time I had no other SO in my life, yet my RDA of 
> physical and emotional comfort was fulfilled because of my relationship
> to this girl, *despite* the fact that we never, ever did anything that others
> might consider sexually fulfilling.  Now I just want to know why I can't seem
> to have this kind of relationship with others of the opposite sex?  Furthermore,
> I suspect that a few friends of this variety would equal the gratification
> that can come from an SOship.
> 
> Any comments?
> 
> Chris Andersen (aka "The Stranger")

First, I'm a little new to the net.singles group (possibly just naive) and
am really not sure what 'SO' (as in SOship) stands for.  Could someone please
clarify the term? I think its meaning through context is pretty obvious.

This article reminded me of a relationship that was very similar to one I knew
of a few years ago.  A coworker and friend of mine became very friendly with 
the woman who was the receptionist for our company (and also married).  At
first they seemed to be just pretty good friends, then she was asking him(my
friend) out, then they actually started going out occasionally.

What made this seem somewhat unusual to most watching was that this 
relationship was supposedly all above board, that is they weren't hiding
anything from anyone.  Her husband knew of and had met my friend and everyone
who ate lunch in the company cafeteria would see them eating together 
every day, alone.

Most of us who knew either or both of them didn't really condemn them, but
at the same time there was a nagging feeling in the back of our minds that 
this really wasn't okay.  I think this was mainly a result of our social
conditioning, but I still feel these two were a little confused regarding
their own desires since I know that they each were having thoughts of a
sexual nature towards each other, yet doing nothing about them.

My point here is that if you're 'snuggling' and hugging someone of the opposite
sex, yet not having any sexual contact, this isn't just a close friend (like
one of the same sex) and you're probably denying yourself of something you 
really want.