Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site cmu-cs-cad.ARPA Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!whuxlm!harpo!decvax!genrad!mit-eddie!think!harvard!seismo!rochester!cmu-cs-pt!cmu-cs-cad!dave From: dave@cmu-cs-cad.ARPA (Bharat Dave) Newsgroups: net.nlang.india Subject: Re:Re: Parents and arranged marriages Message-ID: <344@cmu-cs-cad.ARPA> Date: Wed, 26-Jun-85 20:07:13 EDT Article-I.D.: cmu-cs-c.344 Posted: Wed Jun 26 20:07:13 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 1-Jul-85 06:24:55 EDT Organization: Carnegie-Mellon University, CS/RI Lines: 27 ... > Does that mean that if someone wanted to get married, his/her parents saying > no would mean he/she won't? That seems a little odd to me. Yes and no... I think it boils down to what may be called: emotional dependence- on family, relatives, friends, whatever. It provides a kind of role-model and something to cling to. In itself it is not a bad thing, but unarticulated allegiance to it (like inheriting without understanding what it entails) can cause a lot of pain, specially when it does not stand up to your expectations. Most people weave this emotional dependence into their lives- by choice or without ever noticing; it may work very well for them. Some others notice it, but can't quite decide if it is worth anything- they end up either accepting it or bottling up with a trace of bitterness. Still some others strike a balance between what is its worth and how much they are willing to pay for it- either totally opting out of it or accepting it partially. And I think, everyone of those will have their own versions of being happy ! None of them are wrong, just different ! So there is no one answer. In the end, it all depends on what attitude he/she happens to possess. Personally, I would go ahead and get married...To each his/her own. -Bharat Dave dave@cmu-cs-cad.arpa