Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 8/28/84; site lll-crg.ARPA Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!whuxlm!whuxl!houxm!ihnp4!qantel!dual!lll-crg!bandy From: bandy@lll-crg.ARPA (Andrew Scott Beals) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: "dead fish" handshakes given by males to females Message-ID: <698@lll-crg.ARPA> Date: Mon, 15-Jul-85 00:55:46 EDT Article-I.D.: lll-crg.698 Posted: Mon Jul 15 00:55:46 1985 Date-Received: Wed, 17-Jul-85 21:05:35 EDT References: <234@cuuxa.UUCP> <850@ihlpg.UUCP> Reply-To: bandy@lll-crg.UUCP (Andrew Scott Beals) Distribution: net Organization: Lawrence Livermore Labs, CRG group Lines: 43 In some random article or another, someone female says that she hates "dead fish" handshakes given by males and goes on to say that they should leave a "good indication of their presence" (paraphrased) and not treat her like china. [what annoys me are men who shake my hand like a dead fish...] Of course, the degree of firmness that can be given without pain varies widely from person to person (with a good metric being that women can tolerate a good deal less squeeze (or perhaps the men are all being macho and just aren't complaining)), and I don't really want to hurt anyone, but being that I'm not Emily Post, I shall bow to her: [taken from chapter 3, "How do you do?"--Greetings] Personality of a handshake A handshake may create a feeling of liking or of irritation between two strangers. Who does not dislike a "boneless" hand extended as though it were a spray of seaweed or a boiled fish? It is equally annoying to have one's hand clutched aloft in grotesque affectation or shaken violently, as though it were being used to clean a sport out of the atmosphere. What woman does not wince at the viselike grasp that cuts her rings into her flesh and temporarily paralyzes every finger? The proper handshake is made briefly; but there should be a feeling of strength and warmth in the clasp, and one should at the same time look into the countenance of the person whose hand one takes. In giving her hand to a foreigner, a married woman always relaxes her arm and fingers, as it is customary for him to lift her hand to his lips. Except in the movies, than hand of an unmarried girl is /not/ kissed. But by a relaxed hand is not meant a wet rag; a hand should have life even though it be passive. A woman should always allow a man who is only an acquaintance to shake her hand; she should never shake his. To a very old friend she gives a much firmer clasp, but he shakes her hand more than she shakes his. Younger women usually shake the hand of the older; otherwise women merely clasp hands, give them a dropping movement rather than a shake, and let go. [this is from the 1955 edition] -- andy beals bandy@lll-crg.arpa {sun,gymble,mordor,dual}!lll-crg!bandy "Have YOU ever been violent? Have YOU ever attacted a man with a BAYONET? HUH? Don't knock it until you've tried it!" -B.D.