Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83 based; site homxb.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!homxb!kpm From: kpm@homxb.UUCP (P.MEHTA) Newsgroups: net.nlang.india Subject: Re: reply to william loftus Message-ID: <645@homxb.UUCP> Date: Wed, 3-Jul-85 13:27:05 EDT Article-I.D.: homxb.645 Posted: Wed Jul 3 13:27:05 1985 Date-Received: Thu, 4-Jul-85 05:31:49 EDT References: <2032@burdvax.UUCP> Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ Lines: 30 I do not agree with Mr. Loftus that Indian parents are creating dependence in their children by supporting them as long as they can. Arranged marriages are based on the criteria of jointly selecting a mate after the family memebers critically investigate into the matching characteristics of both mates and their family trees. What I am suggesting here is that a decision is arrived at by comparing the upbringing of the mate with the upbringing of the family and comparing the similarities like food preferences, religious preferences, companies they hang out with, etc. Elders with their experiences direct individuals in the proper direction and indicate why their preferences are one way or other. At an young age a person cannot be expected to make rational decisions, particularly when the person is in a lust. In Indian families, decisions are made jointly as a family, just like any corporation does in U.S.A. All pros and cons are evaluated before the decesion is made. Children are taught to respect their elders and to take advantage of their knowledge. This is how they are trained to face difficult times in life. It is due to this training that they survive their marital problems which are bound to happen in every one's life. Dependence on experience of this kind is far better than independence of inexperience that my experienced collegue is preaching for. Is this independence the reason why divorce rate is high in U.S. and is it the dependence that is keeping people married for their life? I would prefer the dependence if that helps me keep my sanity.......