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From: bandy@lll-crg.ARPA (Andrew Scott Beals)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: "dead fish" handshakes given by males to females
Message-ID: <698@lll-crg.ARPA>
Date: Mon, 15-Jul-85 00:55:46 EDT
Article-I.D.: lll-crg.698
Posted: Mon Jul 15 00:55:46 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 17-Jul-85 21:05:35 EDT
References: <234@cuuxa.UUCP> <850@ihlpg.UUCP>
Reply-To: bandy@lll-crg.UUCP (Andrew Scott Beals)
Distribution: net
Organization: Lawrence Livermore Labs, CRG group
Lines: 43

In some random article or another, someone female says that she hates
"dead fish" handshakes given by males and goes on to say that they should
leave a "good indication of their presence" (paraphrased) and not treat her
like china. [what annoys me are men who shake my hand like a dead fish...]

Of course, the degree of firmness that can be given without pain varies
widely from person to person (with a good metric being that women can
tolerate a good deal less squeeze (or perhaps the men are all being macho
and just aren't complaining)), and I don't really want to hurt anyone, but
being that I'm not Emily Post, I shall bow to her:

[taken from chapter 3, "How do you do?"--Greetings]

Personality of a handshake

A handshake may create a feeling of liking or of irritation between two
strangers. Who does not dislike a "boneless" hand extended as though it
were a spray of seaweed or a boiled fish? It is equally annoying to
have one's hand clutched aloft in grotesque affectation or shaken
violently, as though it were being used to clean a sport out of the
atmosphere. What woman does not wince at the viselike grasp that cuts
her rings into her flesh and temporarily paralyzes every finger?

The proper handshake is made briefly; but there should be a feeling of
strength and warmth in the clasp, and one should at the same time look
into the countenance of the person whose hand one takes. In giving her
hand to a foreigner, a married woman always relaxes her arm and
fingers, as it is customary for him to lift her hand to his lips.
Except in the movies, than hand of an unmarried girl is /not/ kissed.
But by a relaxed hand is not meant a wet rag; a hand should have life
even though it be passive. A woman should always allow a man who is
only an acquaintance to shake her hand; she should never shake his. To
a very old friend she gives a much firmer clasp, but he shakes her hand
more than she shakes his. Younger women usually shake the hand of the
older; otherwise women merely clasp hands, give them a dropping movement
rather than a shake, and let go.

[this is from the 1955 edition]
-- 
andy beals	bandy@lll-crg.arpa	{sun,gymble,mordor,dual}!lll-crg!bandy

"Have YOU ever been violent? Have YOU ever attacted a man with a BAYONET? HUH?
 Don't knock it until you've tried it!" -B.D.