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From: jer@peora.UUCP (J. Eric Roskos)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Re: Just how far can friendship go? - deviding line submitted
Message-ID: <1272@peora.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 12-Jul-85 10:53:05 EDT
Article-I.D.: peora.1272
Posted: Fri Jul 12 10:53:05 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 13-Jul-85 13:59:05 EDT
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Organization: Perkin-Elmer SDC, Orlando, Fl.
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> YOU ARE SOs WHEN YOU BOTH FEEL LIKE YOU ARE SOs (i.e. have some definable
> amount of committment to each other).

Here we are with that funny word starting to appear again and again.  I
didn't grumble particularly when it was used by an engaged-person, since I
figured he meant "marriage committment," but now it is starting to appear
in vague contexts.  Now "committment" means "feeling like you are an SO".

Long ago in here I asked one of those dozens of questions I've asked that
have found no answer (though this one is harder than "Bach's Eyesight,"
I'll admit), "What does this word `committment' mean to you?"

I have always felt that "committment" is a word used to evade defining
troubled aspects of a relationship in a clearer way (since I have seen it
most often used to complain of deficiencies in a relationship: "We just
don't seem to have a mutual committment," etc.).  Sometimes it seems to mean
"wish to remain together for life," sometimes it means "agreement not to
date anybody else," and sometimes it just implies some sort of higher-
than-average bonding.  And sometimes it is just an euphemistic way of
saying "Actually I don't think of you as my SO any more, there is someone
else who fills that role." (Cf. Women-more-often-than-men discussion.)

Rather than say again "what does this mean, anyway?" which would probably
just produce a rather unintersting philosophical discussion, I will just
utter a sort of metagrumble instead... I wish people wouldn't use the word
"committment" unless they modify it with some adjective!  It is like using
the word "experience"... "John Doe doesn't have any experience."  A vague
word, and vaguely irritating.
-- 
Shyy-Anzr:  J. Eric Roskos
UUCP:       ..!{decvax,ucbvax,ihnp4}!vax135!petsd!peora!jer
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