Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/17/84 chuqui version 1.9 3/12/85; site unisoft.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxn!ihnp4!houxm!mtuxo!mtunh!mtung!mtunf!ariel!vax135!cornell!uw-beaver!tektronix!hplabs!intelca!qantel!dual!unisoft!tim From: tim@unisoft.UUCP (Tim Bessie) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Collected Communication 101 Message-ID: <497@unisoft.UUCP> Date: Wed, 10-Jul-85 18:31:16 EDT Article-I.D.: unisoft.497 Posted: Wed Jul 10 18:31:16 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 13-Jul-85 16:22:05 EDT References: <26600132@uiucdcs> Reply-To: tim@unisoft.UUCP (Tim Bessie) Organization: UniSoft Systems, Berkeley Lines: 54 Summary: In article <26600132@uiucdcs> you write: >Hmm.. but my WILL to do something while doing nothing carries me through >the interaction as if I were balancing on one leg with my eyes closed. >I can't do it long, and I fall back into the old firmly rooted pattern. >But I learned a bit more along the way. > > >Dan LaLiberte >liberte@uiucdcs.Uiuc.ARPA >ihnp4!uiucdcs!liberte These feelings are really hard to get rid of. I don't even know if I WANT to get rid of them. This goes back to the earlier discussion of wanting to meet someone because they are attractive of beautiful to you. Let's say you have some fairytail image of the most beautiful woman... for me, it's long, flaming red hair, piercing green eyes, alabaster skin, a sort of stern, yet sad expression, playing a lute in a cozy room someplace... a very story-book image. Now, I see someone like this (minus the lute, etc.) every once in awhile. Someone that fits some image, or set of images I have about the kind of woman I would die for. What do you DO in situations like this? Of course, there's no reason, other than looks, that I should want to meet this woman more than any other, and the chances are slim that they'll meet my ideas of what kind of a person they are. But one look, and "Oh, catch me! I'm swooning!" Well, those kind of feelings... the quickened heartbeat, the lump in your throat. What do you do? I usually go "Damnit! Why can't I just walk up and say hello?" and feel bad for awhile. I've thought, what if someone walked up to ME on the street, in a bookstore, or some other place not very conducive to meeting people, and said "Hi! I saw you over here and wanted to meet you!" I would feel good, but also a little suspicious, since most people wouldn't do that. Either this person is quite special, quite crazy, or quite desperate. Not to judge, but it's an awkward situation. For a woman, its probably even MORE awkward, given our society. The question is, the desire to walk up and meet this person is stronger in me than if it were someone that held no visual mystique for me. So, how much of it is my individual prejudices toward one type of woman, and how much of it is real longing to meet the person? Is one more valid than the other? Does it matter? It's probably something not worrying about, and it would be much more expediant to follow up on my feelings, however socially unacceptable they are, but again, it's difficult. - Tim Bessie (unisoft!tim) (formerly unisoft!thb) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ It is, predominantly, fun. It wasn't always that way, but it is now. There seems to be no limit to it, this delight. Vistas are constantly opening up. Older generations would have a hard time understanding this, because of various psychological hang-ups, such as the Protestant Work Ethic and Freud. But we don't think about the past, not any more. - Thomas Disch ------------------------------------------------------------------------------