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From: kpm@homxb.UUCP (P.MEHTA)
Newsgroups: net.nlang.india
Subject: Re: reply to william loftus
Message-ID: <645@homxb.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 3-Jul-85 13:27:05 EDT
Article-I.D.: homxb.645
Posted: Wed Jul  3 13:27:05 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 4-Jul-85 05:31:49 EDT
References: <2032@burdvax.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ
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I do not agree with Mr. Loftus that Indian parents are creating dependence
in their children by supporting them as long as they can.

Arranged marriages are based on the criteria of jointly selecting a mate
after the family memebers critically investigate into the matching 
characteristics of both mates and their family trees. What I am suggesting
here is that a decision is arrived at by comparing the upbringing of
the mate with the upbringing of the family and comparing the similarities
like food preferences, religious preferences, companies they hang out with,
etc. 

Elders with their experiences direct individuals in the proper direction
and indicate why their preferences are one way or other. At an young
age a person cannot be expected to make rational decisions, particularly
when the person is in a lust. 

In Indian families, decisions are made jointly as a family, just like
any corporation does in U.S.A. All pros and cons are evaluated before
the decesion is made. Children are taught to respect their elders
and to take advantage of their knowledge. This is how they are trained
to face difficult times in life. It is due to this training that they
survive their marital problems which are bound to happen in every one's
life.

Dependence on experience of this kind is far better than independence
of inexperience that my experienced collegue is preaching for.

Is this independence the reason why divorce rate is high in U.S. and
is it the dependence that is keeping people married for their life?
I would prefer the dependence if that helps me keep my sanity.......