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From: jer@peora.UUCP (J. Eric Roskos)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social
Subject: Re: Salemanship (Warning: long, but entertaining!)
Message-ID: <1257@peora.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 10-Jul-85 15:07:48 EDT
Article-I.D.: peora.1257
Posted: Wed Jul 10 15:07:48 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 13-Jul-85 09:39:00 EDT
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Organization: Perkin-Elmer SDC, Orlando, Fl.
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Xref: watmath net.singles:7773 net.social:813

Well, Frank, although I was a little annoyed that you reposted my entire
article, and glad I was on a 19200 baud terminal instead of my 1200 baud Mac,
I must admit I sympathize some with this "evil eye" notion.  I think it
may be more of an Eastern European tradition than just a Yiddish one, since
my Eastern European ancestors apparently had the same idea, and they are
all Lutherans.

However, I don't see what this has to do with my original observation.  Let
me explain it more by an anecdote.

Back when I was much younger, I believed there were things to be "learned"
from "wiser" people about social interactions, since I was always basically
a shy person and never felt very socially polished.  I had a friend who also
had this idea, and was always trying to advise me.  He had many female
friends, so I tended to believe him at the time.

Now, one day, I met a person in a sandwich shop named Alison. I thought
Alison was the greatest thing since sliced bread, because she seemed just
like me, somehow.  Well, I wanted to tell her this, "Hi, I think you are
the greatest thing since sliced bread," etc., (well, not quite that way),
but this friend of mine always advised me "No, you mustn't do it that way!
Such honesty never works!"  Instead, he proposed the sort of approaches
towards social interaction which you are often proposing here.

Well, being a shy person back then, I actually tried neither, and instead
one day after many tries just merely gave her a flower.  Eventually I
discovered that she didn't like the sort of people who acted the way you
are describing.  On the other hand, I discovered that most of the female
friends of this friend of mine didn't like the sort of people who were
all honest and ingenuous the way I was; they felt I didn't have this "class"
you have referred to.

This led me to realize the existence of these different viewpoints on
social interaction, which I have described in response to your comments.
I suspect that is why some people agree with you and some don't.  I tend
not to agree with you many times, but then, I suspect many people like
the sort of socially polished image you seem to advocate, whereas I myself
are more like a painting by Andrew Wyeth.  That's just the nature of human
variability, as I said before.

[What became of Alison? you are wondering.  Well, she graduated and moved
away.]
-- 
Shyy-Anzr:  J. Eric Roskos
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