Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/5/84; site philabs.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!gamma!epsilon!zeta!sabre!bellcore!decvax!linus!philabs!fft From: fft@philabs.UUCP (Fryderyk Tyra) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Puppy-dog-ism Message-ID: <372@philabs.UUCP> Date: Tue, 25-Jun-85 14:48:06 EDT Article-I.D.: philabs.372 Posted: Tue Jun 25 14:48:06 1985 Date-Received: Fri, 28-Jun-85 00:37:34 EDT References: <2175@ut-sally.UUCP> Distribution: net Organization: Philips Labs, Briarcliff Manor, NY Lines: 63 > > One person's "puppy-dog-ism" is another's sincere devotion. > > It all depends upon whether you really > WANT the attention. > > > > Pooh > > pooh@purdue-ecn-cb.ARPA pooh@ut-sally.ARPA > pur-ee!pooh ut-sally!pooh > > Just remember the words of Abraham Lincoln: > "Why is Andrew Johnson always following me around?" I have to admit that my first relationship with an MTOS was a classic case of puppy-dogism. I followed around and had that longing-look in my eyes all the time. I would tend to think that most people's first relationship would happen this way (puppy love). Unfortunately I had my first relationship when I was 20 because of my overprotected upbringing. It was a very one sided love that dragged out for two and half years. I really had no comparisons to go by except for my friends', but I was too much in love to listen to their warnings. This puppy-dogism phenomena is also related to the pedestal phenomena. When you're so blinded by your own love for an MTOS you tend to see only through a white mist. The cherished MTOS, which is is considered to be perfect, is "put on a pedestal" so to speak. This way, the relationship runs away without any checks and balances and just blows up in the end. In the two serious relationships that I've had, both of the MTOS's warned me of this pedestal effect. In my first relationship I didn't take heed, but in the second I was fully aware of the possible problem. It's hard to detect when puppy-dogism/on-the-pedestal phenomena occur. Basically one has to decide when to stop trying so hard when the MTOS is not returning the attention. When you're young and new at the game of love it's very hard to know what's wrong or right. This puppy-dogism is unavoidable and a good lesson in certain respects. But, when it's taken too far it can become devastating to the person on the giving end. It can leave a scar that will take a long time to heal. The MTOS on the receiving end should be very tactful and try to help the person afflicted with this puppy-dogism -- Sometimes it's cruel to be kind. In the case of puppy-dogism it's better to turn down this offer of attention no matter how much the MTOS says they don't mind that the attention is not returned. Most of the time, a puppy-dog relationship never turns into a real sharing relationship and winds up in a mess. It's better to hurt a little now than to take on the battle scars that are inevitable and more severe at a later date. Learning the hard way, Fritter ********************************************************************* **** Whoever said looking is half the fun?????? ******************** ********************************************************************* P.S. - What does SO stand for?