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From: wpl@burdvax.UUCP (William Loftus)
Newsgroups: net.nlang.india
Subject: Indian and American culture.
Message-ID: <2048@burdvax.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 6-Jul-85 01:38:57 EDT
Article-I.D.: burdvax.2048
Posted: Sat Jul  6 01:38:57 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 15-Jul-85 06:48:19 EDT
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>  I do not agree with Mr. Loftus that Indian parents are creating dependence
>  in their children by supporting them as long as they can.
>  

  Good, glad to hear someone does not agree with me, but I never
  said Indian parents are creating dependence.  I said they use
  dependence to teach their children how to survive.


>  Arranged marriages are based on the criteria of jointly selecting a mate
>  after the family members critically investigate into the matching 
>  characteristics of both mates and their family trees. What I am suggesting
>  here is that a decision is arrived at by comparing the upbringing of
>  the mate with the upbringing of the family and comparing the similarities
>  like food preferences, religious preferences, companies they hang out with,
>  etc. 
>  

  I didn't say they weren't based on the above? I didn't notice
  anything about liking the mate?
  

>  Elders with their experiences direct individuals in the proper direction
>  and indicate why their preferences are one way or other. At an young
>  age a person cannot be expected to make rational decisions, particularly
>  when the person is in a lust. 
>  

  I really hate to disagree here, but..

  I think a young person can make a rational decision.
  At a young age most of the decisions that affect the rest of our
  life are made.  If we cannot be expected to make rational decisions
  until we are old, we shouldn't do anything for ourselves.  

  I understand that when a man and a woman meet, there are lustfully
  intentions.  In India, since there is no dating, when a man meets
  a woman the attraction will be greater.  In the USA, where there is
  dating, lust does not play a big role in marriage.  I am not promoting
  premarital sex, but the companionship of a woman helps teaches
  the young American to make a rational decision. ( by companionship
  I mean the company of a man or woman nothing else ) 


>  In Indian families, decisions are made jointly as a family, just like
>  any corporation does in U.S.A. All pros and cons are evaluated before
>  the decision is made. Children are taught to respect their elders
>  and to take advantage of their knowledge. This is how they are trained
>  to face difficult times in life. It is due to this training that they
>  survive their marital problems which are bound to happen in every one's
>  life.
>  

  There is nothing different with an American family.  One of the first
  things an American male does, is bring his date home for his
  parents to meet.

  I my original posting I stated that many of the Indians I have met
  in this country have never taken a good look at what the USA is
  really like.  I think you are guilty of the same offense.  I hope
  that you do not think Americans do not listen to their parents, we
  most certainly do!	

>  Dependence on experience of this kind is far better than independence
>  of inexperience that my experienced colleague is preaching for.
>  

  Please don't misunderstand what I was trying to say.  I was saying
  that both cultures are trying to teach their children how to
  survive in today's world.  The Indian culture does this by supporting
  their children in every way, whereas an American family does this
  by helping their children support themselves. I think a strong case
  can be made for both sides. 

>  Is this independence the reason why divorce rate is high in U.S. and
>  is it the dependence that is keeping people married for their life?
>  I would prefer the dependence if that helps me keep my sanity.......
>  

  As for the divorce rate in the US, well I am ashamed.  I do not
  think people in this country take the word "promise" to mean forever.
  I am very much against divorce, but I do not think it is American
  culture that produces the high divorce rate.  I do think the
  high divorce rate can be attributed to some people taking advantage
  of the American Ideals. America gives as much freedom as possible,
  unfortunately this relies on trust.  I am sorry to say that some
  Americans take advantage of this trust for their own benefit.  We are
  not perfect, and if someone else thinks there is a better way to
  base a culture please let me know.

  Please try to look into American, not just at America.  If I
  take a quick look at India, I see lots of starving people, but if
  I look into India I see the rich heritage India has.

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