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From: cs1@oddjob.UUCP (Cheryl Stewart)
Newsgroups: net.women,net.politics,net.social
Subject: Re: Discrimination against women and statistics
Message-ID: <827@oddjob.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 26-Jun-85 19:08:03 EDT
Article-I.D.: oddjob.827
Posted: Wed Jun 26 19:08:03 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 29-Jun-85 00:39:48 EDT
References: <482@ttidcc.UUCP> <8203@ucbvax.ARPA> <8204@ucbvax.ARPA> <581@mtung.UUCP>
Reply-To: cs1@oddjob.UUCP (Cheryl Stewart)
Organization: U. Chicago, Astronomy & Astrophysics
Lines: 92
Xref: watmath net.women:6118 net.politics:9618 net.social:750
Summary: 

In article <581@mtung.UUCP> jdh@mtung.UUCP (Julia Harper) writes:
>>"Actually, many of the factors that contribute to the earnings gap are the
>>result of personal choices made by women themselves, not decisions thrust
>>on them by bosses.  The most important example is marriage."
>
>>"These differences between married women and single women (and between
>>married women and men, for that matter) contribute dramatically to
>>reducing the earnings of married women.  Thus we find, in a comparison of
>>the earnings of never-married women and those of never-married men, that
>>the women's earnings in 1980 were 89 percent of men's.  This figure has
>>been essentially unchanged since the 1960 census.  So if one is looking
>>for a "culprit" for the earnings gap, it is far more plausible to pin the
>>blame on *marital status* than on *gender*."
>
>These statistics about women, income and marriage
>certainly hit home with me!
>"they" say that unmarried women are happier than married women, 
>and vice versa for men.)

1.  There is clearly a great asymmetry between male/female cost/benefit
    upon marraige.  Men gain autonomy, women lose it.  Men are given raises,
    women are fired, or "edged out", or get pregnant.

From my own experience, I can safely say that this phenomenon is not necessarily
due to "personal choices made by the women themselves".  I chose to get 
married under the explicitly stated conditions that my career (at that time,
not much of one--just a degree and some work experience--it took amazing GALL
to defend something that barely existed, but defend it I did) would continue
in the same way that it would have had I not married, and that we would forgo
having children until I was reasonably well-established.  Not only did the
EX chisel and wheedle on every aspect of the agreement after thedamage, I mean
marriage, had been done, but I felt like all my EX's colleagues wives, his
mother, my mother, and all manner of sisters, aunts and girlfriends had
gotten together in some sort of conspiracy to bring me down to their level
of unemployment, domestic enslavement, trivial pursuits, and going-to-seed.
Every time I turned around, some idiotic old biddy was patting me on the knee
telling me in oh-such-a-reassuring-tone that I wouldn't have to go to school
to occupy my time once I started having children, or that I really ought to
own a washing machine to make sure  shirts were clean (no thanks,
we send our shirts OUT), or that by joining the faculty wive's club and 
playing bridge with the old biddies that I could help  get tenure.
And every christmas, it was "so, when are you going to have children", and
"oh, it must be so hard going to school and being married at the same time"
(wheras if I were male it would have been "guess things are easier with the
little woman around, huh?")  I mean, suddenly, I WAS NOTHING BUT THIS IDIOT'S
WIFE.  In everybody else's mind, anything I did for myself (going to school,
working, etc.) was somehow taking something away from him.  I had no idea
how insulting people could be, just to force their idea of what my relationship
with my SO should be like.  And if I hadn't been born such an argumentative,
contrary cuss, these idiots would have succeeded in sucking me into their
limited little world of bridge games and "my husband's smarter than yours"
(I swear, these idiot women have nothing better going for them than who it
is they happened to snag).  Repeatedly, I would get the little hint from
Barb, or the subtle insinuation from Betsy, or the "joking" comment from
 himself that -> without  I would be a nothing in society,
a mere student (gasp!) or discriminated-against-working-woman (shudder!),
that I had made the "right" decision, the decision that showed my humility,
the decision that showed that I considered "helping others [i.e. helping
dumbo get tenure at the big state U] more important than myself.  Not only
THAT, but people just ASSUMED that suddenly my china cabinet was more 
important to me than my studies, that making sure my career plans fit in
with my family plans was more important than making sure my family plans
fit in with my career plans.  I wish heartily that all of these people 
rot in hell.  The most offensive ones were the young, pseudo-feministic
ones who would say asinine things like "oh, you can still HAVE A JOB after
you get married"  and "Isn't it a shame that his career IS more important
than yours?"  (I'd look at them and say, "you know, you're one in a hundred.")

No, it's not "the personal decisions of the women themselves...marraige"
that can screw up a woman's career--it's the culture which interprets what
those decisions mean, and the subtle and not-so-subtle means by which 
that culture enforces itself at the expense of the individual.  
and I got married becuase we were "in love".  Everyone else thought it
was becuase I had decided to give up my education and career in order to 
go to seed.  Even if a few did try to put a thin feministic veneer on on
their assumptions.  I'll admit that the 53c issue is more complex than just
outright discrimination at the hiring level.  It is a statement about a 
whole culture that subordinates men to women on all levels, with men and
women reinforcing that culture with all the little things they say and do.
No wonder so many women just give up the fight...what's there to win,
the prospect of growing old alone with no grandchild or even childto 
shed a tear at your wake?  The knowlege that you've garnered the ill-
will of all around you, just to "accomplish something"?  No, better to
allow yourself to be pushed around by a bunch of stupid old women, so
you can be one yourself someday, and push around young brides the same
way you were pushed around.  


                "You're not getting older...you're getting bitter"


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