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From: raghu@rlgvax.UUCP (Raghu Raghunathan)
Newsgroups: net.nlang.india
Subject: Re: Indian and American culture.
Message-ID: <693@rlgvax.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 11-Jul-85 11:06:20 EDT
Article-I.D.: rlgvax.693
Posted: Thu Jul 11 11:06:20 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 17-Jul-85 03:44:33 EDT
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> >  I do not agree with Mr. Loftus that Indian parents are creating dependence
> >  in their children by supporting them as long as they can.
> >  
> 
>   Good, glad to hear someone does not agree with me, but I never
>   said Indian parents are creating dependence.  I said they use
>   dependence to teach their children how to survive.
> 
	I'd go even a step further and say Indians do foster dependence.
	In India, "getting along with society" and "living as a family
	unit" are stressed more than "individuality" or "being independent".
	In fact, in the upbringing of children (especially girls),
	individuality and creativity are often looked down on, whereas
	sociability and "pleasing one's elders and superiors" is
	encouraged.
> 
> 
>   I think a young person can make a rational decision.
>   At a young age most of the decisions that affect the rest of our
>   life are made.  If we cannot be expected to make rational decisions
>   until we are old, we shouldn't do anything for ourselves.  
> 
	That's true enough but *only* when one is trained to make decisions
	from an early age. In India, all the decisions for a child (say
	till he/she is 18) are made by his/her parents. Under such
	upbringing, it is practically impossible for a young person to
	make a major decision (like choosing a mate) when that decision
	is the first decision he/she will make in life.
> 
>   There is nothing different with an American family.  One of the first
>   things an American male does, is bring his date home for his
>   parents to meet.
> 
	Some American males may bring home their dates for their parents to
	meet, but (in my limited exposure to American culture) I find
	most males live apart from the family and many don't even care
	to inform their parents of their marriage, let alone of their
	dates. I don't know how accurate I am, but in the college I went
	to, most male friends of mine expressly didn't care to have their
	parents opinion or input in the chioce of their mates, maintaining
	that "it was no business of theirs". I found that attitude callous.

>   I my original posting I stated that many of the Indians I have met
>   in this country have never taken a good look at what the USA is
>   really like.

	I agree with that and I think it's a shame. But you should also
	appreciate the difficulties involved. In India, it is very easy
	for a foreigner to learn about the society by studying one family
	since most families follow the rigid social norms very closely
	and most families are "typical Indian families". There is very
	little variance around the average.

	In America, on the other hand, individual variations (among
	individuals and families) are considerable and sometimes radical.
	It is impossible to study the society by studying one or even a few
	American families. There are so many single-parent families,
	"female-head" families, unmarried couples living together raising
	kids, separated but not divorced couples, unwed mothers, unwed
	fathers raising their own children etc... in addition to normal
	two parent families. I mean, how do you determine what is a typical
	family to study?
							- Raghu.