Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site burdvax.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!whuxlm!harpo!decvax!genrad!panda!talcott!harvard!seismo!rochester!cmu-cs-pt!cadre!psuvax1!burdvax!wpl From: wpl@burdvax.UUCP (William Loftus) Newsgroups: net.nlang.india Subject: Indian and American culture. Message-ID: <2048@burdvax.UUCP> Date: Sat, 6-Jul-85 01:38:57 EDT Article-I.D.: burdvax.2048 Posted: Sat Jul 6 01:38:57 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 15-Jul-85 06:48:19 EDT References: <2032@burdvax.UUCP> <645@homxb.UUCP> Distribution: net Organization: System Development Corporation, Paoli PA Lines: 102 > I do not agree with Mr. Loftus that Indian parents are creating dependence > in their children by supporting them as long as they can. > Good, glad to hear someone does not agree with me, but I never said Indian parents are creating dependence. I said they use dependence to teach their children how to survive. > Arranged marriages are based on the criteria of jointly selecting a mate > after the family members critically investigate into the matching > characteristics of both mates and their family trees. What I am suggesting > here is that a decision is arrived at by comparing the upbringing of > the mate with the upbringing of the family and comparing the similarities > like food preferences, religious preferences, companies they hang out with, > etc. > I didn't say they weren't based on the above? I didn't notice anything about liking the mate? > Elders with their experiences direct individuals in the proper direction > and indicate why their preferences are one way or other. At an young > age a person cannot be expected to make rational decisions, particularly > when the person is in a lust. > I really hate to disagree here, but.. I think a young person can make a rational decision. At a young age most of the decisions that affect the rest of our life are made. If we cannot be expected to make rational decisions until we are old, we shouldn't do anything for ourselves. I understand that when a man and a woman meet, there are lustfully intentions. In India, since there is no dating, when a man meets a woman the attraction will be greater. In the USA, where there is dating, lust does not play a big role in marriage. I am not promoting premarital sex, but the companionship of a woman helps teaches the young American to make a rational decision. ( by companionship I mean the company of a man or woman nothing else ) > In Indian families, decisions are made jointly as a family, just like > any corporation does in U.S.A. All pros and cons are evaluated before > the decision is made. Children are taught to respect their elders > and to take advantage of their knowledge. This is how they are trained > to face difficult times in life. It is due to this training that they > survive their marital problems which are bound to happen in every one's > life. > There is nothing different with an American family. One of the first things an American male does, is bring his date home for his parents to meet. I my original posting I stated that many of the Indians I have met in this country have never taken a good look at what the USA is really like. I think you are guilty of the same offense. I hope that you do not think Americans do not listen to their parents, we most certainly do! > Dependence on experience of this kind is far better than independence > of inexperience that my experienced colleague is preaching for. > Please don't misunderstand what I was trying to say. I was saying that both cultures are trying to teach their children how to survive in today's world. The Indian culture does this by supporting their children in every way, whereas an American family does this by helping their children support themselves. I think a strong case can be made for both sides. > Is this independence the reason why divorce rate is high in U.S. and > is it the dependence that is keeping people married for their life? > I would prefer the dependence if that helps me keep my sanity....... > As for the divorce rate in the US, well I am ashamed. I do not think people in this country take the word "promise" to mean forever. I am very much against divorce, but I do not think it is American culture that produces the high divorce rate. I do think the high divorce rate can be attributed to some people taking advantage of the American Ideals. America gives as much freedom as possible, unfortunately this relies on trust. I am sorry to say that some Americans take advantage of this trust for their own benefit. We are not perfect, and if someone else thinks there is a better way to base a culture please let me know. Please try to look into American, not just at America. If I take a quick look at India, I see lots of starving people, but if I look into India I see the rich heritage India has. -- / / /======/ Ronin ..!burdvax!wpl ======= / / / / / /======/ ====== / / / /======/ /