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From: dsn@tove.UUCP (Dana S. Nau)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Recent topics (i.e. XSO's & friendship, "married up", etc.)
Message-ID: <272@tove.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 11-Jul-85 16:33:13 EDT
Article-I.D.: tove.272
Posted: Thu Jul 11 16:33:13 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 17-Jul-85 07:36:41 EDT
References: <225@cuuxa.UUCP>
Reply-To: dsn@tove.UUCP (Dana S. Nau)
Distribution: net
Organization: U of Maryland, Laboratory for Parallel Computation, C.P., MD
Lines: 26

In article <225@cuuxa.UUCP> frye@cuuxa.UUCP (frye) writes:
> ... As to whether I would want to continue
>being friends with an ex-SO, I'd have to say no. I don't want
>to keep up a relationship for a number of seasons but, the
>most important one would have to be something like this: if
>we break up for what ever reason, we'll probably both heal up
>enough to eventually find someone new to go out with. If we
>see each other we are likely to "crowd" each others new SO's
>and make them uncomfortable. ...

I think different people react in different ways.  Staying friends with
ex-SO's hasn't worked for me very often--but that has been due more to
unresolved feelings about each other rather than problems with "crowding"
new SO's.  My current girlfriend has remained friends with most of her
ex-SO's.

One time it worked out wonderfully well.  There was a woman with whom I had
been romantically involved for about a year, and we had been close friends
for about a year before that.  When we broke up, we both wanted to remain
friends.  We did so.  She got involved with someone else, but she and I
still occasionally got together, and sometimes the three of us got together.
When they got married, I went to their wedding.
-- 
Dana S. Nau,  Computer Science Dept.,  U. of Maryland,  College Park, MD 20742
ARPA:  dsn@maryland				CSNet:  dsn@umcp-cs
UUCP:  {seismo,allegra,brl-bmd}!umcp-cs!dsn	Phone:  (301) 454-7932