Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2.fluke 9/24/84; site tpvax.fluke.UUCP Path: utzoo!decvax!tektronix!uw-beaver!fluke!inc From: inc@fluke.UUCP (Pritchard Z. Malevolence) Newsgroups: net.bizarre Subject: Dear Judge Wapner Message-ID: <640@tpvax.fluke.UUCP> Date: Tue, 9-Jul-85 13:22:23 EDT Article-I.D.: tpvax.640 Posted: Tue Jul 9 13:22:23 1985 Date-Received: Thu, 11-Jul-85 00:13:19 EDT References: <802@vax2.fluke.UUCP> Distribution: na Organization: Ace Trucking and Bugle Works Lines: 45 Xref: tektronix net.bizarre:00000 Dear Judge Moriarty Wapner, I'm sending this to see if I have a case that I can bring to Stupid People's Court, and to find out how the whole thing works. Here's the story: An AI project with whom I have until now been good friends, recently started making snide comments about the family of hamsters I'm raising in my upper left desk drawer. Then last week, I found one of the little buggers completely DEAD, rigor mortised even. That was one of the new litter, so I didn't mind so much, but when I found the grandfather in the same sorry state, I became suspicious and performed an autopsy. I found that it had been slowly poisoned over several weeks time by a combination of strychnine and peanut butter. Now all the strychnine and peanut butter we have here at ACE T&B is in storage, and only AI projects have access to the vault. Now here are my questions: -Can I get this case tried in SPC? -Do I have to appear in person, or can I send an actor? -If I lose, can I give the wimp my own list of questions, or will I have to answer the ones your writers make up? - What is a reasonable amount for your bribe? Thank you ever so sincerely, -- /s/ Pritchard Z. Malevolence, Assistant Dispatcher, Ace Trucking and Bugle