Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/5/84; site mcc-db.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!gamma!epsilon!zeta!sabre!bellcore!decvax!genrad!mit-eddie!think!harvard!seismo!ut-sally!mcc-db!ables From: ables@mcc-db.UUCP (King Ables) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Re: Just how far can friendship go? - deviding line submitted Message-ID: <239@mcc-db.UUCP> Date: Tue, 9-Jul-85 17:23:15 EDT Article-I.D.: mcc-db.239 Posted: Tue Jul 9 17:23:15 1985 Date-Received: Fri, 12-Jul-85 04:31:13 EDT References: <317@azure.UUCP> <2910@cornell.UUCP> <226@uwvax.UUCP> Distribution: net Organization: MCC (Austin, TX) Lines: 47 > I think that for most people, the SO-ship begins when the > cloths start to come off or "Private Parts" are fondled. I get the impression that this is what most people think. Maybe I'm a little old-fashioned, but isn't it possible to think of someone as an SO BEFORE this happens?? I have certainly thought about girls/women (no, I don't want to start THAT discussion again!) as SOs some finite amount of time before jumping into bed. I can't just jump into bed, it take some serious consideration on my part (and hopefully on hers, too) and THEN I jump :-). My most recent(ly ended) relationship started out as friends and eventually veered into the SO realm (in both our views) before any of these alledged "lines" were crossed. I think you become SOs when that person means more to you than any of your other friends. YOU ARE SOs WHEN YOU BOTH FEEL LIKE YOU ARE SOs (i.e. have some definable amount of committment to each other). If it takes jumping into bed to make you feel that way, then that's what it takes. > Also, pls. note that I said that SO-ship begins, & not friendship ends. > I am a firm believer that to have a REAL relationship, you must be friends > AND lovers. Amen. My above-mentioned relationship was the most fulfilling to date simply because it started out as a friendship (a quite long one) before the situation changed. I had never known anyone else I went out with as anything but a date/possible SO/SO before. Asking your best friend out for the first time is tough, but not as tough as asking a perfect stranger. I think to really have a successful relationship you almost have to be best friends as well as lovers. I am reminded of Burt Reynolds' and Goldie Hawn's movie "Best Friends" which I only saw a few months ago on cable. When they decided to split up (at least for a while) one of the things they both found hard about it was not having their best friend around. Now, admittedly, the characters didn't have too many other friends besides each other which would have helped them some, but I liked the importance the writers placed on being friends with your lover as well as lovers. In short (which I should have been in the first place, right?), this whole discussion (about friendship ending and SOship beginning) is fairly pointless since every person is going to have his or her own definition of it. There is no big thick black line that you can cross and say "Aha, now we're SOs!" Life ain't that easy. -King ARPA: ables@mcc UUCP: {ihnp4,seismo,ctvax}!ut-sally!mcc-db!ables "Today my jurisdiction ends here." --John Cleese, Silverado