Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site bbnccv.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxn!ihnp4!bbnccv!jlowry From: jlowry@bbnccv.UUCP (John Lowry) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Probably been seen before ... Message-ID: <211@bbnccv.UUCP> Date: Fri, 12-Jul-85 16:00:47 EDT Article-I.D.: bbnccv.211 Posted: Fri Jul 12 16:00:47 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 13-Jul-85 13:21:36 EDT Reply-To: jlowry@bbnccv.UUCP (John Lowry) Organization: Bolt Beranek and Newman, Cambridge, MA Lines: 78 And the Chief Programmer sent his Analysts to the User and said, "Let the Specifications be written." And there were meetings, and lunches, and telephone calls. And the Specifications were written. And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, one month. And the Chief Programmer examined the Specifications and saw that they were too ambitious. And he separated the mandatory features from the optional features and he called the mandatory features "Requirements", and he called the optional features "Deferred", and the Users called him names. And the Chief Programmer gave the Specifications to the Analysts and said, "Let the Requirements be analyzed and let the Files be designed." And it was so. And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the Software Houses put forth their Salesmen, and let us have a Data Management System." And it was so. The Software Houses brought forth all manner of Salesmen who presented their packages, and claimed wondrous things for them, each according to his own file structure. And it came to pass that a Data Management System was selected; and the Chief Programmer saw that it was good. And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, a second month. And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the System be divided into parts, and let each part be called a 'Module'. And let the programming teams be formed and let each be assigned to write a Module." And it was so. And the Chief Programmer created the programming teams with two levels, a greater and a lesser; and he called the greater the "Senior Programmers", and he called the lesser the "Junior Programmers". And he gave the greater dominion over the lesser. And the Chief Programmer saw that it was good. And the Junior Programmers saw it differently. And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, a third month. And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the programming be started and let much overtime be consumed, for there are but two months left." And the Programmers, both the Senior and the Junior, were much afraid, and they strove to please the Chief Programmer. And they flowcharted, and they coded, each in his own fashion. And the Chief Programmer looked upon the work and liked it not. And the Chief Programmer said, "Let there be a Standard", and there was a Standard. And the Programmers looked upon the Standard and liked it not. And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, a fourth month. And the Chief Programmer said, "Let there be Progress Reports, so we can monitor and control", and there were Progress Reports. And the Chief Programmer looked upon the Progress Reports and saw that the Due Date was not to be met. And the Chief Programmer rose, pressed his suit, shaved his beard, and went unto the Project Manager and groveled. And the Chief Programmer pointed his finger and caused Blame to issue forth upon all manner of creatures who sold Hardware and Software. And the Chief Programmer asked for an extension. And the Project Manager was exceedingly angry, and cast doubts upon the Chief Programmers ancestry and uttered a multitude of threats. but it came to pass that an extension was granted, and the Chief Programmer took the Extension back to the programming teams, and there was much rejoicing. And the programming of the modules was completed. And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, a fifth month. And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the Modules be integrated, one with another, so that System Testing may begin." And it was so. Two by two the Modules were integrated, one with another. And great difficulties were experienced and many hours of overtime were consumed, and many cups of coffee were consumed. And it came to pass that System Testing was completed. And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, a sixth month. Then the Chief Programmer did go to the Project Manager and said unto him, "Behold, I bring you tidings of great joy which will come to all the Users, for on this day, the System is completed." And suddenly there was with them a multitude of Users praising the Chief Programmer and saying, "Glory be to the System in the highest, but can you make this one small change"?