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From: hammond@steinmetz.UUCP (Steve Hammond)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: staying friends after a breakup
Message-ID: <149@steinmetz.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 1-Jul-85 10:47:33 EDT
Article-I.D.: steinmet.149
Posted: Mon Jul  1 10:47:33 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 5-Jul-85 06:34:24 EDT
References: <2014@bigburd.UUCP> <90600002@hpcnoa.UUCP>
Organization: GE CRD, Schenectady, NY
Lines: 30

> 
> 	On a related subject, I have always been amazed at how
> people throw away friends when they break up a relationship.  It
> just doesn't make sense to me - you've invested a lot of time and
> effort (not to mention money and heartache!) into getting to know
> that person really well, and letting them know you really well, 
> yet if you decide to terminate the intimacy for whatever reason
> you become blood enemies.  What a waste.
> 

I recently (like a couple of weeks ago) went through a heart-felt
breakup.  I still love her, too much to become just friends.  The
type of feelings that I have make it an awkward friendship.  In the
same way that she felt that she could not continue to be my lover,
I don't think that I can be *just* her friend.  I don't know
how to act, and "act" would be what I would be doing.  Perhaps it
is too soon to think clearly.  Where does one draw the line?
Can/should we still hold hands?  Is a hug ok as a greeting?  These
things were so natural to me.  I still want that.  It is not fair
to either of "us" to deny that.

I certainly don't hate her or have any regrets about the time we spent 
together.  I just have grown to feel stronger than she has.  I would 
dearly love to be her friend because we a extremely compatible.  I only
*hope* that I can.  Time will tell.


	Steve Hammond (GE corporate R&D center)
	hammond@ge.arpa
	edison!steinmetz!hammond