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From: dave@cmu-cs-cad.ARPA (Bharat Dave)
Newsgroups: net.nlang.india
Subject: Re:Re: Parents and arranged marriages
Message-ID: <344@cmu-cs-cad.ARPA>
Date: Wed, 26-Jun-85 20:07:13 EDT
Article-I.D.: cmu-cs-c.344
Posted: Wed Jun 26 20:07:13 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 1-Jul-85 06:24:55 EDT
Organization: Carnegie-Mellon University, CS/RI
Lines: 27

...
> Does that mean that if someone wanted to get married, his/her parents saying
> no would mean he/she won't? That seems a little odd to me. 

Yes and no...
I think it boils down to what may be called: emotional dependence- on family,
relatives, friends, whatever. It provides a kind of role-model and something 
to cling to. In itself it is not a bad thing, but unarticulated allegiance to
it (like inheriting without understanding what it entails) can cause a lot of
pain, specially when it does not stand up to your expectations.

Most people weave this emotional dependence into their lives- by choice 
or without ever noticing; it may work very well for them. 
Some others notice it, but can't quite decide if it is worth anything- they 
end up either accepting it or bottling up with a trace of bitterness. 
Still some others strike a balance between what is its worth and how much 
they are willing to pay for it- either totally opting out of it or accepting 
it partially. And I think, everyone of those will have their own versions of
being happy ! None of them are wrong, just different !

So there is no one answer. In the end, it all depends on what attitude he/she 
happens to possess. 

Personally, I would go ahead and get married...To each his/her own. 

					-Bharat Dave
					dave@cmu-cs-cad.arpa