Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site ttidcc.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!whuxlm!harpo!decvax!genrad!panda!talcott!harvard!seismo!cmcl2!philabs!ttidca!ttidcc!regard From: regard@ttidcc.UUCP (Adrienne Regard) Newsgroups: net.women Subject: Men who (don't) make more money Message-ID: <517@ttidcc.UUCP> Date: Mon, 1-Jul-85 16:12:07 EDT Article-I.D.: ttidcc.517 Posted: Mon Jul 1 16:12:07 1985 Date-Received: Fri, 5-Jul-85 04:43:49 EDT Organization: TTI, Santa Monica, CA. Lines: 41 >Does this mean you're willing to marry a man who makes less money than you? >That you're willing to "marry below your class"? I would suspect many women >are not. I'd be happy to hear if I'm wrong. > Phil Ngai +1 408 749 5720 O.K., Phil, I'll take you up on that. You're wrong. I refuse to marry a man who makes less money that I, and who is "below my class" whatever that means, but that is only because I refuse to marry. However, the man with whom I bought a home, and who is the father of my children does in fact make less money than I do, and I can't say it makes a hell of a lot of difference to us. This subject was touched upon in a recent talk show that he and I were discussing recently, though, where "career women" in their late thirties were concerned about their biological clock, and finding a man to have kids with, etc., etc., and one of the factors that plays a part is that educated women (like many educated men now, reference net.singles) would not "love" a man who was less educated/intelligent than they, which in our society usually means makes more money. These women have spent 20 years bucking the system, and discover it is difficult to respect a man who hasn't clawed his way up there, too. Misguided? Probably, but operative. They also deal with the double bind where, if they become attached to a lower-paid male, their co-workers (of both sexes) and friends subtly ridicule them for taking on a "basket case". Men don't find themselves ridiculed (to the extent. I think this is changing somewhat) for marrying a "featherbrain" or even a perfectly sane woman who doesn't make as much money. Yeh, so flame me for oversimplification -- I'm just bringing up another topic, o.k.? It takes some determination to face up to social prejudice when persons-whose-business-it-is-not venture opinions on anyone's choice in a mate. I've been there and generally said "phooey", but I've been through a lot worse than many people and thus have a thicker skin. I doubt this is an easy thing for people who are still sensitive. Adrienne Regard