Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/5/84; site reed.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!mtuxo!mtunh!mtung!mtunf!ariel!vax135!cornell!uw-beaver!tektronix!reed!purtell
From: purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Just how far can friendship go?
Message-ID: <1671@reed.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 10-Jul-85 05:37:21 EDT
Article-I.D.: reed.1671
Posted: Wed Jul 10 05:37:21 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 13-Jul-85 09:37:55 EDT
References: <317@azure.UUCP> <800@vax2.fluke.UUCP> <1371@hammer.UUCP>
Reply-To: purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva)
Distribution: net
Organization: Reed College, Portland, Oregon
Lines: 49
Summary: 

In article <1371@hammer.UUCP> seifert@hammer.UUCP (Snoopy) writes:
>In article <800@vax2.fluke.UUCP> cassidy@fluke.UUCP (Rion Cassidy) writes:
 
>[story of two platonic friends]

>>Most of us who knew either or both of them didn't really condemn them, but
>>at the same time there was a nagging feeling in the back of our minds that 
>>this really wasn't okay.  I think this was mainly a result of our social
>>conditioning, but I still feel these two were a little confused regarding
>>their own desires since I know that they each were having thoughts of a
>>sexual nature towards each other, yet doing nothing about them.

    Ok gang - Lady Godiva is back, and I just can't resist this one. To
reiterate what Snoopy said, how do you know that they were having
"thoughts of a sexual nature" towards each other? Did their faces
suddenly break out or did they start to grow hair on their palms?

>>My point here is that if you're 'snuggling' and hugging someone of the 
>>opposite
>>sex, yet not having any sexual contact, this isn't just a close friend (like
>>one of the same sex) and you're probably denying yourself of something you 
>>really want.
(Snoopy:)
>It is quite possible to be close to someone, give them hugs, kisses,
>and cuddles, and *not* have sex with them, and to be quite happy
>with the situation.  You can even sleep with them and not have sex
>with them.

    I definitely agree. I have had (and still have) many friends who I
hug, kiss, cuddle with, give backrubs to, both male and female, married
and single. I have also slept with men when there was no sexual contact
whatsoever. It's really not that difficult. And it's quite enjoyable.
 
>Too many people think the way you do.  It doesn't lead to more sex,
>it leads to less hugging.  :-(  I wish that more people thought the way
>Chris does.  Sex isn't the be-all and end-all that the popular media
>make it out to be.  Wonderful, yes, but there *are* other worthwhile
>things in life.  Affection, caring, trust, these are what really count.

  Yep. And who are we to argue if sex happens to figure in? And who are
we to argue if it doesn't? I have some very good, very attactive, in
some cases VERY attractive male friends whom I never think about
sexually. Not only is it possible to hug, kiss, etc. people of the
opposite sex without having sex, but it is possible to do it without
even thinking about it. 

          elizabeth g. purtell

           (Lady Godiva)