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From: woods@hao.UUCP (Greg Woods)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Recommendations on asking a person out on a date
Message-ID: <1383@hao.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 6-Mar-85 11:08:06 EST
Article-I.D.: hao.1383
Posted: Wed Mar  6 11:08:06 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 10-Mar-85 05:26:31 EST
References: <>, <218@lasspvax.UUCP> <343@usl.UUCP>
Organization: High Altitude Obs./NCAR, Boulder CO
Lines: 29

> What's the reason for all this?  If the person likes you, they (will XOR should)
> respond affirmatively when you approach them.  If not, then negatively.  Why
> is it so frequent to encounter responses such as "Well, not this week, but..."
> and the like?

> But what I really suspect is that we are (mostly/all) brought up to believe
> that playing these little games is the right thing to do.  I have attempted
> to develop reasons to justify this behavior (as I do it too, sometimes...) but
> mostly I think it's mouse excrement...
> 
> Comments?

  While I tend to agree with this, you seem to be ignoring the fact that
"Well not this week, but.." might really be an honest response! What if that
person really does already have plans this week? What is required here is to
really *listen* to that response. If you listen to the feeling instead of the
words in their communication, you should be able to tell if they are interested.
What is needed is to have your focus totally on *them* and not on what you
want to hear, your fears of rejection, etc. If you do this, then any response
they make is really a "I'm interested" or "I'm not interested".

--Greg
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