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From: hedrick@topaz.ARPA (Chuck Hedrick)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: Truth
Message-ID: <923@topaz.ARPA>
Date: Sat, 9-Mar-85 22:44:03 EST
Article-I.D.: topaz.923
Posted: Sat Mar  9 22:44:03 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 10-Mar-85 08:02:54 EST
References:  <166@unc.UUCP>
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.
Lines: 36

There are two separate, but related issues here: (1) is it appropriate to
lie about your age to save money; (2) if it is, is doing so in front of your
kid going to cause an extra problem.  If believe that the answers to these
questions are, repectively no and yes.  If you are seriously interested in
the ethics of truth, there are several books by Sisela Bok.  The first has
some obvious title like "Lying".  The author is a philosopher, with
experience working with doctors, lawyers, etc., on the ethical implications
of their professions.  After a bit of experience at this, it becomes very
clear that no one wants to be lied to, but everyone believes that their
particular profession has a privileged position which means that it does not
always owe the truth to the rest of the world.  She analyses the
consequences of this.  They are serious and pervasive.  Among them: you can
never trust what anyone says to you if there is any chance that he thinks he
is in one of these privileged groups.  Politicians believe that they know
best, and so they do not tell you the full probable consequences of the war
they are engaged in.  Doctors are sure that they should decide what
treatment is appropriate, even if it bankrupts you and your family.  Once
people find out what is going on (and they always do), they end up feeling
manipulated.  What is in fact just what has happened.  Her conclusion is
that we must think of lying as an act of violence.  Indeed in some ways it
is more insidious and therefore more dangerous than violence.  Thus we
should apply to it the same requirements that we would for using violence.
It is very hard to imagine that your situation would justify lying.

Now, as to the effect on the child.  It is true that parents have a special
role.  You may think that it is reasonable for you to try to teach the child
that he/she owes the truth to you, but not to the rest of the world.
However a child is a human being, and as such participates in many different
relationships, including those with friends and teachers.  Most of the
relationships in which a child is engaged are ones in which truth is
important, and in which there are serious temptations for a child to lie.  I
think it very unlikely that you will be able to make a distinction that will
not also result in lying to teachers, friends, and even you, which doing so
seems to be convenient.  You also have to consider whether your child is
going to wonder what you are going to do when lying to him or her would 
save you money.