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From: ronbe@tekred.UUCP (Ron Bemis )
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Real Programmers...
Message-ID: <257@tekred.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 26-Feb-85 23:02:03 EST
Article-I.D.: tekred.257
Posted: Tue Feb 26 23:02:03 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 4-Mar-85 04:43:52 EST
Organization: Tektronix, Redmond OR
Lines: 61


	Real Programmers Don't Write Specs

Real programmers don't write specs -- users should
consider themselves lucky to get any programs at all
and take what they get.

Real programmers don't comment their code.  If it was
hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

Real programmers don't write application programs; they
program right down on the bare metal.  Application
programming is for feebs who can't do systems
programming.

Real programmers don't eat quiche.  In fact, real
programmers don't know how to spell quiche.  They eat
Twinkies, and Szechwan food.

Real programmers don't write in COBOL.  COBOL is for
wimpy applications programmers.

Real programmers' programs never work right the first
time.  But if you throw them on the machine they can be
patched into working in "only a few" 30-hour debugging
sessions.

Real programmers don't write in Fortran.  Fortran is
for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies.

Real programmers never work 9 to 5.  If any real
programmers are around at 9 AM, it's because they were
up all night.

Real programmers don't write in BASIC.  Actually, no
programmers write in BASIC, after the age of 12.

Real programmers don't write in PL/1.  PL/1 is for
pgrammers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or
Fortran.

Real programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport
that requires you to change clothes.  Mountain climbing
is OK, and real programmers wear their climbing boots
to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in
the middle of the machine room.

Real programmers don't document.  Documentation is for
simps who can't read the listings or the object deck.

Real programmers don't write in Pascal, or BLISS, or
Ada, or any of those pinko computer science languages.
Strong typing is for people with weak memories.

	Don't know where this came from, the sheet's
been lying around for a long time...
-- 
tektronix!tekred!ronbe  _____      Support Bacteria -
Ron Bemis              / o o \     It's the only
Tektronix             | \___/ |    culture some
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