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From: hua@cmu-cs-gandalf.ARPA (Ernest Hua)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: translation
Message-ID: <242@cmu-cs-gandalf.ARPA>
Date: Mon, 11-Mar-85 14:12:46 EST
Article-I.D.: cmu-cs-g.242
Posted: Mon Mar 11 14:12:46 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 12-Mar-85 21:34:39 EST
Organization: Carnegie-Mellon University, CS/RI
Lines: 57

__________________________________________________________________________

           A GUIDE TO THE TRANSLATION OF TECHNICAL PUBLICATIONS


   o  "It is believed that ..."
       (I think.)

   o  "It is generally believed that ..."
       (A couple of my friends think so too.)

   o  "It has long been know that ..."
       (I didn't bother to look up the original reference.)

   o  "While I have not found definite answers to these questions ..."
       (The data made no sense, but I'm publishing them anyway.)

   o  "It might be argued that ..."
       (I can answer this objection so well that I shall now raise it.)

   o  "Of great theoretical and practical importance ..."
       (Somewhat interesting to me.)

   o  "Of extreme purity, ultrapure ..."
       (Composition unknown.)

   o  "Qualitatively correct ... correct within an order of magnitude."
       (Wrong.)

   o  "Three samples were chosen for detailed study ..."
       (The others didn't make sense.)

   o  "Typical results are shown in Fig. 2"
       (The best results are shown in Fig. 2.)

   o  "The most reliable values are given by Smith ..."
       (Smith is a friend of mine.)

   o  "Subjected to controlled stress during the experiment ..."
       (Accidentally dropped on the floor.)

   o  "Handled with extreme care during the experiment ..."
       (Not dropped on the floor.)

   o  "A discussion of the remaining data will be forthcoming ..."
       (Some of my results don't make sense.)

   o  "A complete understanding clearly requires much more work ..."
       (None of my results make sense.)

   o  "I would be remiss not to thank Archibald Thankery for assistance
      with the experimental aspects of this investigation, and Dr. Samuel
      Hirschfeld for helpful comments during the analytical phase ..."
       (Archie did all the work, and then Sam explained it to me.)
__________________________________________________________________________

Keebler { hua@cmu-cs-gandalf.arpa }