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Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/17/84 chuqui version 1.7 9/23/84; site nsc.UUCP
Path: utzoo!utcs!lsuc!pesnta!amd!nsc!chuqui
From: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (The Phantom)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: asking people out
Message-ID: <2411@nsc.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 3-Mar-85 13:55:58 EST
Article-I.D.: nsc.2411
Posted: Sun Mar  3 13:55:58 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 4-Mar-85 19:18:53 EST
References: <831@decwrl.UUCP>
Reply-To: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (The Phantom)
Organization: The Paradise
Lines: 28
Summary: 

The 'system' that worked best for me was simply having personal card
printed up-- name and phone number and perhaps address (Of course some
comment that indivdualized them as well-- it is always best to give them
something to remember you by). When talking with someone, if you don't get
into a situation where there is a date set easily (you can tell when the
stress level rises...) hand over a card, express your interest, suggest
they call, and get out of there. I got a reasonable call rate (I know
people who even handed out dimes, but that seems an unconcious weakening of
your own self worth-- if it isn't worth her time to spend a dime on you,
why should she bother? *grin*) and more important, it gives her back some
control on her life-- she can now deal with the relationship the way she
feels comfortable, and as long as you have an answering machine you aren't
waiting for HER to call, either.

Being forced to reject someone, even a stranger, is a very stressful thing
for both parties-- I don't blame people for trying to avoid it. Would you
like to say 'no' to someone who is right on the edge, only to find out
later that they snap and end up on top of the student union building with
an M16? On second thought, would you have wanted to say yes to that person?
*smirk*

chuq

-- 
From behind the eight ball:                       Chuq Von Rospach
{cbosgd,fortune,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo}!nsc!chuqui   nsc!chuqui@decwrl.ARPA

We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.