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From: carnes@gargoyle.UChicago.UUCP (Richard Carnes)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Birth Control Responsibility
Message-ID: <365@gargoyle.UChicago.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 11-Mar-85 14:34:38 EST
Article-I.D.: gargoyle.365
Posted: Mon Mar 11 14:34:38 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 12-Mar-85 22:16:16 EST
Organization: U. Chicago - Computer Science
Lines: 35

>     Consider the situation where the
>   man does take some precaution.  I have made an effort to have
>   condoms handy.  This has had two different results.
>
>      Usually, the fact that I have been properly prepared has
>   allowed things to proceed smoothly.  So much the better.
>   Unfortunately, there are times when there are problems.
>   The woman will become upset when she finds out that I had
>   the condoms ready.  It was as if I was EXPECTING to sleep
>   with her.  That is considered an outrage, and things fall
>   apart.  Fear of this reaction in women could encourage men
>   to not bring anything, particularly the first time.

Why should any man fear this reaction in women unless his objective
is merely to score as often as possible?  What kind of woman
indicates her willingness to go to bed with you and then is outraged
because you came prepared for this very eventuality (she's probably
wearing her diaphragm)?  Answer:  A very immature woman -- one who
can't understand that your bringing condoms along does not mean that
you were counting on using them.  Do you really want to have a
relationship with this type of person?  It is wonderful how people
indicate that they are unsuitable for you to get involved with.  

>     Finally, there is often a certain stigma attached to guys
>   who are known to carry condoms around.  Remarks are made about
>   how they expect to "score" anywhere, anytime, etc.  

Well, if the stigma really bothers a guy, he should stop carrying
them around, but this type of stigma is best ignored.  A silly
prejudice need not deter one from behaving responsibly.  In many
neighborhoods in Chicago, a stigma is attached to befriending
individuals of a different race.  It's a choice one has to make,
consistent with maintaining one's self-respect.  

Richard Carnes