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From: wfi@unc.UUCP (William F. Ingogly)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Dividing Line
Message-ID: <171@unc.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 7-Mar-85 15:48:34 EST
Article-I.D.: unc.171
Posted: Thu Mar  7 15:48:34 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 10-Mar-85 04:48:37 EST
References: <731@decwrl.UUCP> <745@amdcad.UUCP> <627@mhuxt.UUCP> 
Reply-To: wfi@unc.UUCP (William F. Ingogly)
Organization: CS Dept., U. of N. Carolina at Chapel Hill
Lines: 37
Summary: 


> Therefore I don't, in general, have any problems with persons 19 or 20 years
> old being called boys or girls.  However it only seems fair to refer to a
> person in the manner that they prefer... 
> What is the answer?

It seems to me that the problem arises when someone refers to 'men and 
girls' in the middle of a conversation, implying a difference in the way 
the speaker views the maturity or competence of each sex. I'm sure few 
people would object to a reference to 'boys and girls' since it implies 
immaturity (usually in a joking sense) on the part of both sexes. 

On Friday nights, my grandfather would get out his Meerschaum pipe and
cane and loudly announce that he was "going down to the tavern to
visit the boys." Similarly, my grandmother would "have the girls over
for tea on Saturday afternoon." Neither usage necessarily implies a 
lack of competence on the part of one sex or the other; it seems to me 
that this kind of joking reference to immaturity has to do with behavior
that's perceived by some members of society as being less than mature,
and in some way is meant to be a mild excuse for having a good time in
a society that views good times and less-than-adult behavior as
somewhat suspect.

But when someone writes "...I'm a man who's having a lot of trouble
meeting girls..." he's going to offend many people, because the
man/girls dichotomy says the speaker regards MOTOS as either being
less mature than males or less competent in some way than males.
Referring to a 24-year-old white male as 'one of the boys' is clearly
acceptable, but referring to a 24-year-old black male as 'one of the
boys' is at least ambiguous and may be racist, depending on the
speaker's intentions.

There's nothing inherently wrong with the words 'boy' or 'girl,' you
see; it's all a matter of context and intention.

                                    -- W. F. Ingogly
                                       University of North Carolina