Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!laura From: laura@utzoo.UUCP (Laura Creighton) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: asking people "out" Message-ID: <5156@utzoo.UUCP> Date: Sun, 3-Mar-85 13:37:14 EST Article-I.D.: utzoo.5156 Posted: Sun Mar 3 13:37:14 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 3-Mar-85 13:37:14 EST References: <1046@utastro.UUCP> Organization: U of Toronto Zoology Lines: 32 Real honesty takes time. if you don't have time to go out then you don't have time to be real honest with someone who is asking you out. Here is abysmal conversation one: Person: Would you like to go out sometime. Me: [Oh shit, now I have to reject this poor guy. I hope his ego can take it...] No, but thank you very much for asking. Person: Why not? Me: [Panic time, this one isn't going to take no for an answer.] I'm busy now, and just not interested. Person: Is there something wrong with me that makes you not want to go out with me? Me: [Quick, where's the exit!] No, I don't think so, I'm just not interested. Person: Can you tell me why you are not interested? Me: [Damn! This is like typing at Eliza..] I'd rather not... Person: But it would help me to understand why I have so much trouble asking people out. Me: Ah, you may spend too much time talkng to ones who don't want to go out with you? [Gosh that was snide. I hope it doesn't hurt his feelings. Hmm. Maybe I *do* wish It would hurt his feelings -- at least long enough for me to get out of here.] If you do this too often, you will find that it is easier to say ``I'm busy'' than ``No''. You might luck out and he will find someone else and forget about you... This is cheating, yes, but there is no convenient way to say ``I don't want to deal with you at all'' which both keeps sensitive souls from getting crushed and gets the message across to persistent ones. Laura Creighton utzoo!laura