Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site sjuvax.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!princeton!astrovax!sjuvax!jss From: jss@sjuvax.UUCP (J. Shapiro) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Responsibility for birth control Message-ID: <924@sjuvax.UUCP> Date: Tue, 5-Mar-85 02:18:47 EST Article-I.D.: sjuvax.924 Posted: Tue Mar 5 02:18:47 1985 Date-Received: Wed, 6-Mar-85 02:47:37 EST References: <3850001@csd2.UUCP> <8283@watarts.UUCP> <1635@ittvax.UUCP> Organization: Saint Josephs Univ. Phila., Pa. Lines: 39 [Pacman's revenge...] >From my experience, and I don't ask, if the woman uses no contraception >she will bring it up; then it is *both* our responsibility to deal with >precautions, even if that implies abstinence. It is a matter of >etiquette rather than insensitivity. The issue is far too important, to my mind, to be relegated to a matter of etiquette. Far too much stands to be lost by people who aren't raised with the same awareness of the "proper" etiquette as you have. Indeed I feel that etiquette is largely a function of showing conern for others, and as such would demand that I ask to insure that neither of us is hurt in a long term way. >As it is customary for men to ask women out, it is customary for women to >bring up birth control before sex if necessary. Where have I been - this custom is new to me. From what my female friends tell me, when they bring up the issue of birth control it is self preservation, not custom. Undoubtedly many will disagree with me, but in reality, there is only one means (not counting abstention, which begs the issue) of birth control available for the male - the condom. In my opinion, and thus far without fail, in the opinion of all of the women I have gotten an answer from, the condom is esthetically unappealing and deprives both parties of sensitivity, not to mention the fact that when used as a last minute option, lack of other preparation can leave both parties physically sore. For this reason and others (such as effectiveness), I find the pill or the diaphragm (in that order) to be better options. I am more than willing to do my part in paying for such things (though "etiquette" seems to preclude this in practice - the offer has never been accepted), but I can hardly take the pills for the person. Between the combination of esthetics and chemical reality, for many couples the responsibility for birth control does fall to the female. I don't like it either... Jon Shapiro