Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/17/84 chuqui version 1.7 9/23/84; site nsc.UUCP Path: utzoo!utcs!lsuc!pesnta!amd!nsc!chuqui From: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (The Phantom) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: asking people out Message-ID: <2411@nsc.UUCP> Date: Sun, 3-Mar-85 13:55:58 EST Article-I.D.: nsc.2411 Posted: Sun Mar 3 13:55:58 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 4-Mar-85 19:18:53 EST References: <831@decwrl.UUCP> Reply-To: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (The Phantom) Organization: The Paradise Lines: 28 Summary: The 'system' that worked best for me was simply having personal card printed up-- name and phone number and perhaps address (Of course some comment that indivdualized them as well-- it is always best to give them something to remember you by). When talking with someone, if you don't get into a situation where there is a date set easily (you can tell when the stress level rises...) hand over a card, express your interest, suggest they call, and get out of there. I got a reasonable call rate (I know people who even handed out dimes, but that seems an unconcious weakening of your own self worth-- if it isn't worth her time to spend a dime on you, why should she bother? *grin*) and more important, it gives her back some control on her life-- she can now deal with the relationship the way she feels comfortable, and as long as you have an answering machine you aren't waiting for HER to call, either. Being forced to reject someone, even a stranger, is a very stressful thing for both parties-- I don't blame people for trying to avoid it. Would you like to say 'no' to someone who is right on the edge, only to find out later that they snap and end up on top of the student union building with an M16? On second thought, would you have wanted to say yes to that person? *smirk* chuq -- From behind the eight ball: Chuq Von Rospach {cbosgd,fortune,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo}!nsc!chuqui nsc!chuqui@decwrl.ARPA We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.