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From: fsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Yet another new reader. Keywd: GIRLS
Message-ID: <154@unc.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 3-Mar-85 15:10:19 EST
Article-I.D.: unc.154
Posted: Sun Mar  3 15:10:19 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 6-Mar-85 02:45:33 EST
References: 
Reply-To: fsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann)
Distribution: net
Organization: CS Dept., U. of N. Carolina at Chapel Hill
Lines: 37
Summary: 

In article  kramar@sunybcs.UUCP (Chris Kramarczyk) writes:
>Someone posted an article about their problems with meeting nice
>people.
>My problem is not only just having difficulty finding nice people to
>go out with, but that of finding a person to go out with me
>period.
>
>I have now started doing things I never did before, like asking
>girls out in hamburger joints.  Asking girls out who work in the
>library, at the candy counter, information desk.........
>At every occasion, the response has been that they have a boy
>friend (I am not counting the countless that are engaged).
>Now, maybe they don't have boy friends and they just
>don't want to hurt my feelings. I don't know, but something's
>going wrong around here.
>

When meeting a woman without benefit of a third person's introduction,
you are at a disadvantage.  The woman may feel cheap if she allows
herself to be "picked up".  She may wonder if you are secretly a
homocidal rapist.  Having just met you, she may not be sure whether
she is even attracted to you.  If she does agree to go out with you,
will she have to submit to sexual harassment?

For these reasons, always suggest a first date that is SAFE.
Don't ask her for dinner Saturday night.  Ask her out for Monday lunch.
Or a picnic in a crowded park.  Choose a casual date that provides
NO OPPORTUNITIES for you to make unwelcome sexual advances.

If the date you propose is "safe", the woman will be more likely
to take a chance on you.  The "safe" date allows her to build
her trust in you gradually.

What's important in to take things one step at a time.

		Frank Silbermann
		University of North Carolina