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Path: utzoo!utcs!lsuc!pesnta!amd!rocksvax!dw
From: dw@rocksvax.UUCP (Don Wegeng)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Getting that first date
Message-ID: <1025@rocksvax.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 6-Mar-85 09:24:45 EST
Article-I.D.: rocksvax.1025
Posted: Wed Mar  6 09:24:45 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 6-Mar-85 14:19:58 EST
References: <1363@utah-gr.UUCP>
Reply-To: dw@rocksvax.UUCP (Don Wegeng)
Organization: Xerox: Henrietta, NY
Lines: 38
Summary: 

In article <1363@utah-gr.UUCP> haas@utah-gr.UUCP (Walt Haas) writes:
>My preferred method of getting something started with an
>attractive MOTOS is to: first, talk enough to get some idea
>on whether she has compatible interests and values, then
>say something like "Would you be interested in getting
>together for lunch sometime soon?".  This has a couple of
>advantages:  if she really wants to dodge, she can - by
>saying something like "I never take a lunch break".  That
>type of answer to that vague a question can usually be
>assumed to mean "no" unless it's followed up with a
>counter-suggestion.  

I totally agree with the general philosophy expressed here: mainly
that asking someone out becomes easier if you know the person and
have established a friendship with them first.  At least this is
an indication that there is at least *some* level of compatability
(how else could you have even gotten that far?).  

However, there is a problem with the second part of the quote.  It
assumes that the person that you are asking out has the presence
of mind (or whatever) to think of the dodge, which in my experience
is a bad assumption.  I have personally found that most people are
not very skilled at putting people off in a nice, but obvious way,
and that most people also are not very good at reading between the
lines when this *does* happen.

I wish that I had a solution, but unfortunately I do not.  I guess
we all have to keep trying until we get it right, sort of.

/Don

-- 

"Do you always act normal, or are you just teasing me?"

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