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Path: utzoo!laura
From: laura@utzoo.UUCP (Laura Creighton)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: asking people "out"
Message-ID: <5156@utzoo.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 3-Mar-85 13:37:14 EST
Article-I.D.: utzoo.5156
Posted: Sun Mar  3 13:37:14 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 3-Mar-85 13:37:14 EST
References: <1046@utastro.UUCP>
Organization: U of Toronto Zoology
Lines: 32

Real honesty takes time. if you don't have time to go out then you don't
have time to be real honest with someone who is asking you out. Here is
abysmal conversation one:

Person:	Would you like to go out sometime.
Me:     [Oh shit, now I have to reject this poor guy. I hope his ego
	can take it...] No, but thank you very much for asking.
Person: Why not?
Me:	[Panic time, this one isn't going to take no for an answer.]
	I'm busy now, and just not interested.
Person:	Is there something wrong with me that makes you not want to
	go out with me?
Me:	[Quick, where's the exit!] No, I don't think so, I'm just not
	interested.
Person: Can you tell me why you are not interested?
Me:	[Damn! This is like typing at Eliza..] I'd rather not...
Person:	But it would help me to understand why I have so much trouble
	asking people out.
Me:	Ah, you may spend too much time talkng to ones who don't want
	to go out with you? [Gosh that was snide. I hope it doesn't
	hurt his feelings. Hmm. Maybe I *do* wish It would hurt his
	feelings -- at least long enough for me to get out of here.]

If you do this too often, you will find that it is easier to say ``I'm
busy'' than ``No''. You might luck out and he will find someone else
and forget about you... This is cheating, yes, but there is no
convenient way to say ``I don't want to deal with you at all'' which
both keeps sensitive souls from getting crushed and gets the message
across to persistent ones.

Laura Creighton
utzoo!laura