Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site endot.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!bellcore!decvax!cwruecmp!endot!labuda From: labuda@endot.UUCP (Dave Labuda) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Obnoxious Sign-Offs.... (and Teddy Bears) Message-ID: <117@endot.UUCP> Date: Mon, 4-Mar-85 03:11:45 EST Article-I.D.: endot.117 Posted: Mon Mar 4 03:11:45 1985 Date-Received: Thu, 7-Mar-85 05:35:21 EST References: <484@hou2e.UUCP> Organization: ENDOT Inc., Cleveland, Ohio Lines: 81 DISCLAIMER : The opinions expressed within are jointly those of my Teddy Bear and myself - They in no way reflect the mentality of anyone else here in Cleveland, though I suspect there are others who agree.... SECOND DISCLAIMER : I realize that admitting I own a Teddy Bear probably ruins my chances of being considered a REAL man by everyone in net land. However, I am not embarrassed by it in any way, and if people can't accept people for what they are, that's too bad. I do know that several of the women I have been close to are quite amused by my Teddy Bear, and seem to feel less threatened when they discover that I am as insecure as they are. NOW FOR THE MESSAGE : We disagree entirely with your flame on stupid signoffs. For one thing, whether a sign-off is stupid or witty is a matter of taste. We have accumulated a vast collection of snappy one-liners from the net sign-offs. Also, if you are complaining about the treatment of Teddy Bears as tangible, lovable beings, we disagree even more emphatically. I realize it is not very macho to own a Teddy Bear, but I (the human) have found it (the bear) quite helpful (along with a cat, though it is less portable). I believe the feeling is also mutual. My bear was given to me by the most special friend I have ever had. She now lives several hundred miles away, and gave me the bear to keep me company since she no longer could. Having my bear in my office has really helped me deal with the all-nighters alone at work. He brings back alot of very fond memories, and re-kindles my spirit when I need it most. So, please leave the Teddy Bears of the world alone, and remember that not one Teddy Bear has EVER betrayed a friend! Dave Labuda and his Bear decvax!cwruecmp!labuda ******************************************************************************** I realize this sign-off is long, but we found it amusing : UNIFIED FIELD THEORY by Tim Joseph In the beginning there was Aristotle, And objects at rest tended to remain at rest, And objects in motion tended to come to rest, And soon everything was at rest, And God saw that it was boring. Then God created Newton, And objects at rest tended to remain at rest, But objects in motion tended to remain in motion, And energy was conserved and momentum was conserved and matter was conserved, And God saw that it was conservative. Then God created Einstein, And everything was relative, And fast things became short, And straight things became curved, And the universe was filled with inertial frames, And God saw that it was relatively general, but some of it was especially relative. Then God created Bohr, And there was the principle, And the principle was quantum, And all things were quantified, But some things were still relative, And God saw that it was confusing. Then God was going to create Furgeson, And Furgeson would have unified, And he would have fielded a theory, And all would have been one, But it was the seventh day, And God rested, And objects at rest tend to remain at rest. (reprinted without permission from a several year old New York Times (shhhh)) ********************************************************************************