Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site topaz.ARPA Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!cbdkc1!desoto!packard!topaz!hedrick From: hedrick@topaz.ARPA (Chuck Hedrick) Newsgroups: net.kids Subject: Re: Truth Message-ID: <923@topaz.ARPA> Date: Sat, 9-Mar-85 22:44:03 EST Article-I.D.: topaz.923 Posted: Sat Mar 9 22:44:03 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 10-Mar-85 08:02:54 EST References:<166@unc.UUCP> Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J. Lines: 36 There are two separate, but related issues here: (1) is it appropriate to lie about your age to save money; (2) if it is, is doing so in front of your kid going to cause an extra problem. If believe that the answers to these questions are, repectively no and yes. If you are seriously interested in the ethics of truth, there are several books by Sisela Bok. The first has some obvious title like "Lying". The author is a philosopher, with experience working with doctors, lawyers, etc., on the ethical implications of their professions. After a bit of experience at this, it becomes very clear that no one wants to be lied to, but everyone believes that their particular profession has a privileged position which means that it does not always owe the truth to the rest of the world. She analyses the consequences of this. They are serious and pervasive. Among them: you can never trust what anyone says to you if there is any chance that he thinks he is in one of these privileged groups. Politicians believe that they know best, and so they do not tell you the full probable consequences of the war they are engaged in. Doctors are sure that they should decide what treatment is appropriate, even if it bankrupts you and your family. Once people find out what is going on (and they always do), they end up feeling manipulated. What is in fact just what has happened. Her conclusion is that we must think of lying as an act of violence. Indeed in some ways it is more insidious and therefore more dangerous than violence. Thus we should apply to it the same requirements that we would for using violence. It is very hard to imagine that your situation would justify lying. Now, as to the effect on the child. It is true that parents have a special role. You may think that it is reasonable for you to try to teach the child that he/she owes the truth to you, but not to the rest of the world. However a child is a human being, and as such participates in many different relationships, including those with friends and teachers. Most of the relationships in which a child is engaged are ones in which truth is important, and in which there are serious temptations for a child to lie. I think it very unlikely that you will be able to make a distinction that will not also result in lying to teachers, friends, and even you, which doing so seems to be convenient. You also have to consider whether your child is going to wonder what you are going to do when lying to him or her would save you money.