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From: jss@sjuvax.UUCP (J. Shapiro)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Responsibility for birth control
Message-ID: <924@sjuvax.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 5-Mar-85 02:18:47 EST
Article-I.D.: sjuvax.924
Posted: Tue Mar  5 02:18:47 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 6-Mar-85 02:47:37 EST
References: <3850001@csd2.UUCP> <8283@watarts.UUCP> <1635@ittvax.UUCP>
Organization: Saint Josephs Univ. Phila., Pa.
Lines: 39

[Pacman's revenge...]

>From my experience, and I don't ask, if the woman uses no contraception
>she will bring it up; then it is *both* our responsibility to deal with
>precautions, even if that implies abstinence. It is a matter of
>etiquette rather than insensitivity. 

	The issue is far too important, to my mind, to be relegated to a matter
of etiquette.  Far too much stands to be lost by people who aren't raised
with the same awareness of the "proper" etiquette as you have.  Indeed I
feel that etiquette is largely a function of showing conern for others, and
as such would demand that I ask to insure that neither of us is hurt in a
long term way.

>As it is customary for men to ask women out, it is customary for women to 
>bring up birth control before sex if necessary.

Where have I been - this custom is new to me. From what my female friends
tell me, when they bring up the issue of birth control it is self
preservation, not custom.

Undoubtedly many will disagree with me, but in reality, there is only one
means (not counting abstention, which begs the issue) of birth control 
available for the male - the condom. In my opinion, and thus far without
fail, in the opinion of all of the women I have gotten an answer from, the
condom is esthetically unappealing and deprives both parties of
sensitivity, not to mention the fact that when used as a last minute
option, lack of other preparation can leave both parties physically sore.
For this reason and others (such as effectiveness), I find the pill or the
diaphragm (in that order) to be better options. I am more than willing to
do my part in paying for such things (though "etiquette" seems to preclude
this in practice - the offer has never been accepted), but I can hardly
take the pills for the person.

Between the combination of esthetics and chemical reality, for many couples
the responsibility for birth control does fall to the female. I don't like
it either...

Jon Shapiro