Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/17/84; site hao.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!ihnp4!houxm!whuxl!whuxlm!akgua!sdcsvax!sdcrdcf!trwrb!trwrba!cepu!hao!woods From: woods@hao.UUCP (Greg Woods) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Recommendations on asking a person out on a date Message-ID: <1383@hao.UUCP> Date: Wed, 6-Mar-85 11:08:06 EST Article-I.D.: hao.1383 Posted: Wed Mar 6 11:08:06 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 10-Mar-85 05:26:31 EST References: <>, <218@lasspvax.UUCP> <343@usl.UUCP> Organization: High Altitude Obs./NCAR, Boulder CO Lines: 29 > What's the reason for all this? If the person likes you, they (will XOR should) > respond affirmatively when you approach them. If not, then negatively. Why > is it so frequent to encounter responses such as "Well, not this week, but..." > and the like? > But what I really suspect is that we are (mostly/all) brought up to believe > that playing these little games is the right thing to do. I have attempted > to develop reasons to justify this behavior (as I do it too, sometimes...) but > mostly I think it's mouse excrement... > > Comments? While I tend to agree with this, you seem to be ignoring the fact that "Well not this week, but.." might really be an honest response! What if that person really does already have plans this week? What is required here is to really *listen* to that response. If you listen to the feeling instead of the words in their communication, you should be able to tell if they are interested. What is needed is to have your focus totally on *them* and not on what you want to hear, your fears of rejection, etc. If you do this, then any response they make is really a "I'm interested" or "I'm not interested". --Greg -- {ucbvax!hplabs | allegra!nbires | decvax!noao | harpo!seismo | ihnp4!noao} !hao!woods CSNET: woods@NCAR ARPA: woods%ncar@CSNET-RELAY "Please don't dominate the rap Jack, if you got nothing new to say..."