Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site rocksvax.UUCP Path: utzoo!utcs!lsuc!pesnta!amd!rocksvax!dw From: dw@rocksvax.UUCP (Don Wegeng) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Getting that first date Message-ID: <1025@rocksvax.UUCP> Date: Wed, 6-Mar-85 09:24:45 EST Article-I.D.: rocksvax.1025 Posted: Wed Mar 6 09:24:45 1985 Date-Received: Wed, 6-Mar-85 14:19:58 EST References: <1363@utah-gr.UUCP> Reply-To: dw@rocksvax.UUCP (Don Wegeng) Organization: Xerox: Henrietta, NY Lines: 38 Summary: In article <1363@utah-gr.UUCP> haas@utah-gr.UUCP (Walt Haas) writes: >My preferred method of getting something started with an >attractive MOTOS is to: first, talk enough to get some idea >on whether she has compatible interests and values, then >say something like "Would you be interested in getting >together for lunch sometime soon?". This has a couple of >advantages: if she really wants to dodge, she can - by >saying something like "I never take a lunch break". That >type of answer to that vague a question can usually be >assumed to mean "no" unless it's followed up with a >counter-suggestion. I totally agree with the general philosophy expressed here: mainly that asking someone out becomes easier if you know the person and have established a friendship with them first. At least this is an indication that there is at least *some* level of compatability (how else could you have even gotten that far?). However, there is a problem with the second part of the quote. It assumes that the person that you are asking out has the presence of mind (or whatever) to think of the dodge, which in my experience is a bad assumption. I have personally found that most people are not very skilled at putting people off in a nice, but obvious way, and that most people also are not very good at reading between the lines when this *does* happen. I wish that I had a solution, but unfortunately I do not. I guess we all have to keep trying until we get it right, sort of. /Don -- "Do you always act normal, or are you just teasing me?" arpa: Wegeng.Henr@Xerox.ARPA uucp: {allegra,princeton,decvax!rochester,amd,sunybcs}!rocksvax!dw || ihnp4!tropix!ritcv!rocksvax!dw