Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83 based; site hou2g.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxj!houxm!hou2g!js3471 From: js3471@hou2g.UUCP (J.SCRIPTUNAS) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: what is love? Message-ID: <383@hou2g.UUCP> Date: Fri, 4-Jan-85 09:43:42 EST Article-I.D.: hou2g.383 Posted: Fri Jan 4 09:43:42 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 5-Jan-85 02:42:33 EST References: <2139@nsc.UUCP>, <1911@sun.uucp> Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ Lines: 27 Sunny: You wrote: > Love is doing what's best for the other person even if doing >so hurts you, or isn't the best thing for you. Why do you say this? My position is along the lines of 'love is caring for another person's feelings as if they were your own.' In addition, though, I think there is some selfishness involved with love since two people and their feelings are involved. How can you love someone if you place their needs/wants above your own? That sounds like you are being overdependent and insecure. (That's what the excerpted statement above seems to be saying.) Along another idea: The distinction made between 'love' and 'being in love' is interesting. I've heard others say that they 'loved' someone, but didn't feel close enough to that person to say they were 'in love' with the other. Seems like that perspective is the reverse of yours. I like your position that loving is more desirable than being in love as you explained it. I believe that love is something that grows, versus love is a state that you are in or out of. Jerome Scriptunas ihnp4!hou2g!js3471 (I tried to reply directly, but was unsuccessful in the past.)