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From: dwl10@amdahl.UUCP (Dave Lowrey)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: How to discipline short of spanking
Message-ID: <858@amdahl.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 4-Jan-85 09:53:34 EST
Article-I.D.: amdahl.858
Posted: Fri Jan  4 09:53:34 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 6-Jan-85 00:04:21 EST
References: <286@ho95b.UUCP>
Organization: Amdahl Corporation, Columbia MD
Lines: 54

> 
> We've been told by many people that a good spanking is what she needs.
> But the couple of times we've reluctantly done so, she tells us,
> "Don't hit me.  You shouldn't hit me!" which is precisely what we tell
> her when she hits us. It's tough to argue with that.
> 
When my wife and I had our son, Adam, we had two things we were NEVER
going to do. One was to use a pacifier(sp?) and the other was to
spank him. Well, we didn't use the pacifier.

Adam borders on the hyperactive. He started the "terrible twos" at
age 1&1/2 and is now just starting to get "under controll" at age
four. We finally have to break down and spank him on occasions.
When we do, we try to let him know that he is being punished, and
why. I think this only serves to relieve our guilt, but it also
gives us time to think before we hit him. After a while, the threat
of a spanking was usually enough to get the desired results. We say
"If you dont XXXXX by the count of three, I will have to punish you
 ONE (he ignores us), TWO (he starts to try to justify his actions,
 or to start begging), THREE! (8 times out of 10, he will go do, or
stop doing whatever it was we wanted). I often wonder if I am
doing the right thing, as when I was a child, I lied alot to avoid
being spanked. But this has been the only method of controlling
him at times.

Your other problem seems to be that you are trying to reason with
a two year old. This only works in favor of the child!
An example:
                  Me: Do good boys do XXXXX?
                Adam: No.
                  Me: Did you do XXXXX?
                Adam: Yes.
                  Me: Are you a good boy?
                Adam: Yes.

On the nap and sleeping situation...We finally had to give up on
naps. It became so much work and screaming and fighting to get
him to nap, that we just said forget it. He still needs one alot
of times, so my wife will do her shopping, etc in the afternoon
and Adam will often fall asleep in the car (hopefully on the
way home).

All I can say is hang in there! It does get better.

-- 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
                               Dave Lowrey

"GORT...Klatu borada niktow"

                                   ...!{nsc,sun,hplabs,ihnp4}!amdahl!dwl10

[ The opinions expressed  be those of the author and not necessarily
  those of his most eminent employer. ]