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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!ihnp4!nsc!chuqui
From: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuqui Q. Koala)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: What now?  (Depressed ramblings)
Message-ID: <2206@nsc.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 14-Jan-85 12:55:51 EST
Article-I.D.: nsc.2206
Posted: Mon Jan 14 12:55:51 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 15-Jan-85 01:55:45 EST
References: <263@boulder.UUCP> <1328@hao.UUCP> <2447@umcp-cs.UUCP>
Reply-To: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuqui Q. Koala)
Organization: The Warlocks Cave
Lines: 60
Summary: 


 
>Jon writes:
>>>  So here I am.  My best friend is gone, and I have nobody to talk to.  My
>>>  self esteem is crushed; I can't see any woman being interested in me now,
>>>  if Becky isn't after all the love and good times we shared.  
>
>I'd like to second Greg's comments that just because one seemingly fantastic
>relationship did not work, no others will work.  However, I wouldn't just
>drop Becky altogether.  At least stay friends.  Maybe she has a lot of growing
>to do.  Maybe she will come back, but don't dwell on it.  Don't write her off
>altogether.  If you were great friends before, you can still be somewhat
>great friends.  Don't burn your bridges.

I have to add my support to this-- nothing is the end of the world. I'm
sure it hurts, and I can sympathise, but dwelling on pain is masochistic.
Learn to face and deal with the pain, and you'll find (through time) that
it doesn't hurt as much. 

I should point out one thing-- some relationships simply cannot move into
different forms and survive. What could be a very close friendship won't
survive as lovers. People who live together break up being married. There
are different advantages and disadvantages and stresses to all
relationships, and each relationship can survive different stresses better.

>>>  So here I am babbling out my situation to hundreds of strangers, . . .
>
>Well, we're listening and will try to give as much support as we can from
>far away.

Very true. The main reason this group exists is to help all of us become
better people. Most of us have been in a similar situation, and we've all
had friend help us through it. The network limits what we can do in some
ways (but you might be suprised... *grin*) but we're here, and we care
about each other.

>You may not see a lot of women on the net because we are in the minority in
>computer-related fields, but there are some loving, caring MOTAS out there.
>But you have to try to meet them.  Find something you like to do and do it
>with some friends.  (Sex probably shouldn't be the chosen activity. :-) )
>I like to play bridge.  I've met a lot of people while playing bridge.

Hmm... there is a terrible joke in there about bridging your way to a new
life, but I won't use it. You'd be suprised at the people you can meet on
the net, if you want to... The point is, don't sit back and hurt, go out
and find a reason to stop hurting. She may come back someday, but waiting
for her won't hurry that along. Who knows, she may come back, and you'll
find you aren't particulary interested. Or she may come back and you'll
drop everything. But doing nothing, and depending on her coming back, if
she doesn't you have nothing. Never get in a situation where you don't have
options for making your life better. Don't forget that in every US, there
are two ME's, too, and they need just as much nurturing to flourish.

chuq
-- 
From the ministry of silly talks:		Chuq Von Rospach
{allegra,cbosgd,decwrl,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo}!nsc!chuqui  nsc!chuqui@decwrl.ARPA

Do not wait until tomorrow to tell someone you care. Tomorrow doesn't
always come.