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From: brian@sdcc3.UUCP (Brian Kantor)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: more on dating co-workers
Message-ID: <2630@sdcc3.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 15-Jan-85 08:32:03 EST
Article-I.D.: sdcc3.2630
Posted: Tue Jan 15 08:32:03 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 18-Jan-85 00:47:48 EST
References: <485@cyb-eng.UUCP> <611@homxa.UUCP>
Organization: UCSD wombat breeding society
Lines: 48

I must agree with those who advise against becoming involved with
co-workers --- although I have to admit it is difficult to be fully
rational when emotions are involved.

Not so very long ago I fell in love with someone I worked with --- more
than I have ever loved anyone ever before.

Not only did we work together, but were sharing a house too (with
a third person - college students just can't afford single housing in
California).  Although we never slept together --- never even touched
each other --- I fell for her completely.

But she didn't feel the same for me, and moved out to ease what had
become for her (and me!) a very uncomfortable situation.

I had a lot of sleepless nights, crying, swearing, breaking things,
being mean to my cat.  Friends helped, my doctor gave me something for
one particularly bad time, my school and job work went to shit, and for
a while I contemplated suicide.

I've gotten over most of it now, but we still work near each other.  And
when my duties force me to interact with her, I'm civil and try to be
pleasant - after all, a good portion of the problem is not her fault, if
it is anyone's fault at all.

But I can't be social with her yet.  The memory of the pain and hurt is
still there --- and it comes back to some degree every time I see her.
Its especially bad when I see her together with her new lover.  My hurt
will fade with time, as most wounds heal, but its much more difficult
and will take much longer because we keep running into each other at
work.

Someday maybe we can go back to being friends.  But for me, now, I have
to avoid her for my own good --- and that is difficult to do because we
do work together.  I'm not sure she even understands how I felt then and
still feel now.
---
I'm told that other couples have met at work and gone on to a rewarding
life together.  But for me, I am seriously taking the advice of the old
adage about avoiding ``Dipping one's pen in the office inkwell''.

	Brian Kantor	UC San Diego

	decvax\ 	brian@ucsd.arpa
	akgua  >---  sdcsvax  --- brian
	ucbvax/		Kantor@Nosc 

``You unlock this door with the key of imagination...''