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From: presley@mhuxn.UUCP (Joe Presley)
Newsgroups: net.misc,net.flame,net.jokes
Subject: Psychic [sic] Predictions for 1984
Message-ID: <173@mhuxn.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 21-Dec-84 22:15:08 EST
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Posted: Fri Dec 21 22:15:08 1984
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Well, it's "that time of year" again (my third annual recap on the year
that was to have been). 

Here are the highlights from the January 3, 1984 issue of *National
Enquirer*, America's answer to *Pravda*, where America's 10 leading
psychics gave us their all in telling us what to expect. 

Even though 1984 isn't over yet, I feel confident we've no problem with
passing judgement.  (My parenthetical notes after the psychics' names
are from *N.E.* itself. 

[Dorothy Allison - who has helped police solve crimes].  Unemployment
will drop; American factories will have full order books; time of great
national pride in American-made products; Monaco's Prince Albert and
Brooke Shields wed; Johnny Carson quits; Larry Hagman drops out of
"Dallas" and goes to Tibet to study under a guru; gorilla escapes from
NYC zoo and terrorizes the city. 

[Clarisa Bernhardt - who predicted earthquakes].  Economy will go up
and up; food and fuel prices will tumble; Sean Connery will be attacked
by a gunman in NYC; Joan Rivers and Liz Taylor make up and Liz offers
to sit in for Joan as hostess of "The Tonight Show";

[John Catchings - who locates missing people].  Burt Reynolds confesses
to being in love with a 16 year old high school girl; Michael Landon
will star in a TV show about a gay priest; Ted Kennedy will elope with
his secretary; a vaccine against AIDS will be developed. 

[Shawn Robbins - predicted a major air disaster].  John Lennon's ghost
saves Yoko and Sean from fire; two Soviet jumbo jets collide, killing
1000; Congress launches probe into UFO after Jimmy Carter reveals a UFO
sighting; Gary Coleman will sprout up. 

[Florence Vaty - predicted Nixon's resignation].  Commando-style gang
of Viet Vets steal crown jewels from the Tower of London; one of
Reagan's children will be captured by pro-Arab terrorists; Prince
Rainier proposes to Jackie Onassis and she accepts; Pope John Paul is
target of assasin when he makes a surprise visit to Poland; Space
Shuttle astronauts pick up messages from another planet. 

[Micki Dahne - predicted Canary Island jumbo jet collision].  Huge
earthquake in CA reveals a major new gold vein; Joan Collins moves from
"Dallas" to "Dynasty" (to replace Larry Hagman?); Mr. T struck by
lightening attracted to his gold jewelry. 

[Fredrick Davies].  Reagan pushes for major new tax breaks to insure
his November victory; gold soars to $1000/oz. 

[Lou Wright - predicted assassination attempts on Reagan and John
Paul].  John Denver buried under avalanche; Shirley MacLaine opens an
"occult travel agency"; Cher becomes a born-again Christian and tours
as a gospel singer. 

[Barbara Donchess - predicted Mount St. Helens eruption].  A way to
repair heart damage without surgery is discovered; Nancy Reagan is
involved in helicopter crash; gunman wounds Presidential candidate
Jesse Jackson in Memphis. 

[Beverly Jaegers - helped St. Louis police solve crimes].  Federal
government cracks down on religious cults and deports foreign-born
leaders of these cults; Yasir Arafat assassinated; a medical
breakthrough in brain implant surgery will occur. 

-------------

If you've managed to wade through this far, congratulations!!  I knew
you would do it!! 

Any guesses when I'll post my recap of the *1985* predictions?
-- 

Joe Presley (ihnp4!j.presley)