Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1+some 2/3/84; site dual.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!zehntel!dual!hav From: hav@dual.UUCP (Helen Anne Vigneau) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: wearing rings Message-ID: <906@dual.UUCP> Date: Tue, 15-Jan-85 17:48:31 EST Article-I.D.: dual.906 Posted: Tue Jan 15 17:48:31 1985 Date-Received: Wed, 16-Jan-85 21:23:01 EST References: <954@utastro.UUCP> <902@dual.UUCP> <646@utcsrgv.UUCP> Distribution: net Organization: Dual Systems, Berkeley, CA Lines: 151 <*munch*> => I had to leave the entire text of the original posting since => all of it is worth reading I'm glad you found it worthwhile. => and is relevant to the points which I => would now like to raise: Watch it; you're beginning to raise my temper. => 1) How many of you single people out there actually try => to acquaint yourselves with people that you would assume => are married (I'm talking socially, of course)? What's the matter? Married people are pariahs? => I have found very few single people who would not prefer => having single friends as opposed to married ones. Nice, snobbish friends you have, pal. So there *is* something wrong with married people, then? => Given => the situation that Helen discusses (person out socially, => prospective introductor is single and looking for someone => to talk to) I think that it is natural for a single person => to seek out other single people. 1. My name is *Helen Anne*. Please do not call me Helen; I do not like that name. 2. I seek out people I *like*; it does not matter whether they are single or married, black or white, tall or short, et cetera. => Us single types have => more in common with each other than with married people => IN A GENERAL SENSE ONLY. Glad you qualified that one. => 2) Helen states that "A real friend won't be put => off by the probability that the relationship will not => go farther than 'just' a friendship." This is essentially => true. The problem is that she is talking about a situation => where there are two people who do not know each other => and where one of them is thinking of introducing him/herself => to the other. HOW THE HELL CAN YOU DECIDE IF YOU ARE A => "REAL FRIEND" TO SOMEONE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YET???????! The point was that the ring can serve as a "parasite repellent" when someone wants nothing beyond another notch on his bedpost. I'm not saying all men are like that; if they were, I wouldn't have been happily living with the same man for the last two and a half years. Some, however, are exactly like that, and I don't need to waste five minutes listening to asinine pick-up lines to figure this out and realize that *no way* is this person every going to be my friend. I'm out for a little more from people than a good lay, thank you. *And* I've spent enough time in various bars to believe that I've got a pretty good handle on the rules of the game by now. This isn't some naive schoolgirl you're talking to here. BTW, I am not averse to striking up an *intelligent* conversation with a male in a bar, but the sad fact is that these are few and far between. => The raw fact of the situation is that if you are in a => place where the majority of people don't know each other => and people are introducing themselves to others, then they => probably ARE "on the make", looking for a SO, etc, etc, etc. Yup. You're right. I've developed all sorts of meaningful relationships in bars; doesn't everyone? (If you believe that . . . ) I take it, then, that people who are not trying to have an affair have no business in bars. Maybe we should just sit in a corner of the living room with a glass of white wine and a hankie? Besides, there are bars, and then there bars. If you want to talk about raw facts, the fact is that I don't hang out in meat racks. We're talking the neighborhood-type bar here, guy. => If I want to talk to friends, I pick up the phone and call => them. Anyone who claims to frequent social places (especially => bars and discos) and insists that s/he is looking for friends => is either (a) lying, or (b) entitled to the Jesus Christ => award for mortal and spiritual purity. I suppose there is => also (c) and (d) wants a drink or enjoys the atmosphere but => this is not likely to be true of many single people who => FREQUENT such places. At least (c) and/or (d) aren't likely => to be the only reasons. BACK OFF!!! Kindly don't make vast character assessments like that that; you don't even know me!If you bothered to read my original posting, you would have noticed that I specifically stated in my example that I sometimes go to a bar with a female friend. Thus, I have (or she has) already picked up the phone and called. Furthermore, I never said I *frequent* these places. Where in the h*ll did you get that one? I also never said I was looking for friends. Again, where in the h*ll did you get that one? To elucidate for you (you obviously need it), I sometimes want *to go out* for a drink. I do not necessarily like the atmosphere in these places, but then, I don't go for the atmosphere; I go with a companion, for her companionship. I *do not* project an air of availability; on the contrary, I generally turn away from the "action" to concentrate my attentions on the conversation I am having with my friend. It seems to me that someone's preference for privacy at a supposedly private table should be obvious to all who contemplate insinuating themselves into a conversation or situation. I could be wrong though: you don't seem to find this obvious at all; maybe you need to take Remedial Bar Scene 101. :-) => Enough long-windedness. Helen, personally, I think you have a =>terrible attitude towards other people (read: MEN). I'm sure my boyfriend would get a laugh out of that remark! Personally I think you're paranoid. And long-winded. => You should be =>flattered by these "pestering morons" who consider you attractive =>enough to want to get to know you. You're right again. Men are g*d's gift to me and the others of my gender. It certainly is a treat and a privilege to have their attentions bestowed upon lowly me. I shouldn't be bothered that their approach reminds me of a barnyard animal; after all, I'm lucky to be noticed. => (OK OK you probably want to be =>respected for more than your appearance, but what other criteria =>is apparant to people who are in such situations?) After all, what is there to judge my by besides pretty face, nice body, clean hair? Certainly I don't have a mind, sense of humor, or emotions. Especially emotions--what woman with *feelings* could possibly be so callous to reject a man who is offering her something meaningful of himself. If his astrological sign is right, what else is there? Besides, as I clearly stated in my original posting, I'm there for personal amusement with someone whose company I choose; *not* for personal (read sexual) gain. => Try to have =>respect for the imperfections of others. I do. What I have no respect for is the crassness of others. => "You can't get me, I'm hiding behind the terminal" Wimp. Come out here and buy me a drink, like a real man. :-) => Ray Allen => utcsrgv!ray Helen Anne P.S. Ray, if you want to continue in this vein, why don't you meet me in net.flame; I read it regularly.