Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 exptools 1/6/84; site ihuxb.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!ihnp4!ihuxb!reza From: reza@ihuxb.UUCP (Reza Taheri) Newsgroups: net.kids Subject: Re: How to discipline short of spanking Message-ID: <911@ihuxb.UUCP> Date: Thu, 3-Jan-85 13:56:18 EST Article-I.D.: ihuxb.911 Posted: Thu Jan 3 13:56:18 1985 Date-Received: Fri, 4-Jan-85 00:59:10 EST References: <286@ho95b.UUCP> Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL Lines: 35 My daughter is younger than yours (19-months old), so I don't want this to sound like the definitive voice of experience. The thing that seems to work with her is consistency. We had problems with putting her to bed for about six months, starting at when she was 9-months old. She would gladly go to bed some nights, and stay up crying for over an hour other nights. This went on until I decided I had had enough. She was put to bed exactly at 8 pm every night, even if she was being a "good girl." After about one week she adjusted to the new schedule and we haven't had any problems ever since. She may even stay up as late as 9 pm if she is obviously not tired; but as long as it does not become a habit. The same goes for a method of discipline. You need a form of discipline that you use very rarely and every time you have used it you have made sure your wishes have been fully carried out. Then that will be your ultimate weapon. The problem is that people overuse the punishment that works to the extent that it becomes useless. If you tell your kid to go to his/her room 50 times a day, then the phrase has been heard so much that it loses its effects. You want a form of discipline that the child knows you use only when you are very serious and every time it has been used, you (the parents) have won. Unfortunately, spanking perfectly fits this scenario, that's why it works. Try a new kind of discipline and the first few times that you use it, see to it that it gives positive results. Then only re-use it on special occasions. It does not have to be a harsh punishment. For example, instead of sending the kid to her room when she does something bad, force her to sit WITH you. That is, she has to sit next to her parents while they are reading a book and aren't talking. She'll be bored out of her mind. H. Reza Taheri ...!ihnp4!ihuxb!reza (312)-979-7473