Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/17/84 chuqui version 1.7 9/23/84; site nsc.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!ihnp4!nsc!chuqui From: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuqui Q. Koala) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: any LDR's out there??? (long distance relationships) Message-ID: <2240@nsc.UUCP> Date: Sat, 19-Jan-85 19:42:47 EST Article-I.D.: nsc.2240 Posted: Sat Jan 19 19:42:47 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 21-Jan-85 00:46:09 EST References: <145@ihdev.UUCP> Reply-To: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuqui Q. Koala) Organization: The Warlocks Cave Lines: 47 Summary: Hmm... we trying to start a new acronym? *grin* > >anyone else out there involved in one of those wonderful(?) long distance >relationships?? (LDR's). anybody have some good advice or tips on how >to keep them going? like i've said before, i've got 1.5 frustrating years >ahead, and this might be a good place to discuss it. (i have been >privately corresponding with another individual on the net involved in an >LDR, and the advice i've received has been very helpful). Yes, buy fortunately my LDR will terminate in May when she graduates and gets out of the snow belt. Right, Laurie? As to advice, LDR's are extremely nasty things that I wouldn't wish on anybody. Unfortunately, it seems that the people involved in them certainly weren't looking for them. I certainly wasn't. They take a lot of work, a lot of energy, and they are very hard to sustain. You need to be very close to your SO to help deal with the attenuation that the distance forces upon you. Communication is a key. It is more important than ever to make sure the two of you stay in sync with your thoughts and feelings. You need to make sure you set aside times to talk-- phone, mail, e-mail, usenet postings, whatever (roses are nice, too-- occasionally!). Basically, you do whatever needs to be done to keep it alive until the distance can be remedied. I have yet to see a relationship flourish with distance, and there are many relationships that survive the distance but never survive the closeness. The odds are against it (I love the underdog, though) but if it is important to the two of you, it can be done. The key, I think, is communication-- fill the physical gaps between you with words and feelings. The phone bill (the Amex plane ticket bill.. *whimper*) and the postage costs are nothing compared to the bill that comes due when your heart is empty again. Gives reach out and touch someone a whole new meaning... >oops. forgot to mention, the 14-0 vote i mentioned in net.flame a few Hmm... if it is worth anything, I'm against net.singles.js. Of course, I won't hold it against YOU that you're pouring your heart out to us.. I'll answer your questions, too... Here's to remembering we're all people, with the feelings people have. chuq -- From the ministry of silly talks: Chuq Von Rospach {allegra,cbosgd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo}!nsc!chuqui nsc!chuqui@decwrl.ARPA National Semiconductor does not require useless disclaimers on posted material that is obviously not posted by company spokesmen...