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From: druid@ncsu.UUCP (druid)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: independence-dependence cycles
Message-ID: <2769@ncsu.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 15-Jan-85 00:26:07 EST
Article-I.D.: ncsu.2769
Posted: Tue Jan 15 00:26:07 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 16-Jan-85 16:16:05 EST
Organization: N.C. State University, Raleigh
Lines: 45

Subject: independence-dependence cycles
<<>>
> In reading others' ruminations about their current emotional state
> (usually bad), it occurred to me that my own emotional state over time
> seems to best be described as a cycle.
>	[description of cycle...]
> So, now for the point of all this:  Is this sort of cycle common?  How
> can the cycle be broken?  (I don't much enjoy the "lower" part of the
> cycle.)
> 
> Don't tell me to just avoid people and stay in the "stable" part of
> the cycle.  I like people too much for that, and the way I can talk to
> at least a few people is one of the things I like most about life and
> about myself.
>	Dave Martindale

	I certainly wouldn't tell you to avoid people just to stay in a
supposedly "stable" state of life!  Actually I *have* experienced cycles
somewhat similar to this one.  I find that even the closest of friends
eventually (but not always) draw apart for a large variety of reasons,
most especially marriage/SO, or moving away (due to graduation, or job).
	One way to help break this cycle is to keep on meeting people
and gaining new friends, once you have started.  You don't have to pursue
new friends actively, but why restrict yourself to a very few friends
exclusively?  This last is something that I have had trouble with, due
to the fact that I usually spend the largest amount of my time with a
only a few of my closest friends.  And in fact usually spend most of that
time with just one or two of my closest friends (or current-SO).  I have
found that the person with whom I spend the most time generally changes
several times during the year, cycling through that group of closest
friends, depending on how our individual lives happen to match up at the
time.
	Even though there are few friends that I consider truly close, I
always have lots of good friends;  Friends that I can call and do things
with.  When one of my closer friends goes away for whatever reason, I 
eventually end up including one or more of my other friends in that close
circle of best-friends.  Note that this is not really a conscious act.  I
simply prefer quality-friendship to quantity.
	Responses are welcome; Indeed, encouraged.

   dave	        /\                  -- druid / daveh --
hesselberth     \/      -- decvax!mcnc!ncsu!druid / ncsu!ievax!daveh --
         The Druid of NC         aka: the Arch-Druid Kadok

[there's never enough time; there's time enough never]