Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site ccice5.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!bellcore!decvax!genrad!teddy!panda!talcott!harvard!seismo!rochester!ritcv!ccice5!tim From: tim@ccice5.UUCP (Timothy G. Becker) Newsgroups: net.kids Subject: Re: Spanking, good vs bad Message-ID: <637@ccice5.UUCP> Date: Wed, 16-Jan-85 17:07:05 EST Article-I.D.: ccice5.637 Posted: Wed Jan 16 17:07:05 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 20-Jan-85 06:12:39 EST References: <322@aesat.UUCP> Reply-To: tim@ccice5.UUCP (Timothy G. Becker) Organization: CCI Central Engineering, Rochester, NY Lines: 37 Summary: In article <322@aesat.UUCP> rwh@aesat.UUCP (Russ Herman) writes: I too am somewhat surprised at the generally pro-spanking position of the net. I can't speak for other people's kids, but my little guy has never been physically (I agree with whoever posted the comment about non-physical) spanked. Ever since he was about two, all I had to do is look at him in an angry tone and he'd cry. Russ, why does he cry with a look? What does THE LOOK communicate to your son? Because a young child isn't real good at reasoning, disciplining must mean something "unpleasant" (ie. spank, go to room, etc.) When I give my 3 year old THE LOOK, he knows it means a spanking if he doesn't stop the wrong behavior. The look needs to be associated with some action in the childs mind. What thought of action invokes your child to cry when he gets THE LOOK? I'm not sure whether he's more sensitive than some kids, or if it's *because* we've never spanked. Why would it be *because* you've never spanked? That is saved for things like defiantly running out into traffic, sticking fingers in wall sockets, and reaching for things on the stove. While each of these has happenned once or twice, they have never been done defiantly, and training was successful without this last-resort measure. I agree with your distinction for defiant behavior. To all the nonspankers: How do you ultimately get your child to go to his room, sit on a chair, etc? I'm asking honestly (no threats intended). My son gets right off the chair, opens the door to his room, etc. when he's especially defiant. What do you do then? I spank. Tim Becker. ...!{decvax,allegra,seismo}!rochester!ccice5!tim