Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site ccice5.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!bellcore!decvax!genrad!teddy!panda!talcott!harvard!seismo!rochester!ritcv!ccice5!tim From: tim@ccice5.UUCP (Timothy G. Becker) Newsgroups: net.kids Subject: Re: discipline Message-ID: <630@ccice5.UUCP> Date: Wed, 9-Jan-85 13:31:34 EST Article-I.D.: ccice5.630 Posted: Wed Jan 9 13:31:34 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 12-Jan-85 07:06:11 EST References: <116@decwrl.UUCP> Reply-To: tim@ccice5.UUCP (Timothy G. Becker) Distribution: net Organization: CCI Central Engineering, Rochester, NY Lines: 27 In article <116@decwrl.UUCP> merrill@rex.DEC writes: My method that I've used successfully with 4 of 5 kids is this: after two or three years of age before which we never spank them, they each begin to show their defiance of parental authority. Often this takes the form of delaying tactics or simplying ignoring parental cajoling. This can get really agrivating to said parent! Rather than "bust 'em" right then and there, I say "I really mean what I am about to say. If I count to three and you have not done ____ ___ ____ then I shall spank you." Now MY word is on the line, so I'm not going to count so fast as to make it impossible, but if there is no action, I count! ** With the first 4 I only EVER got to three ONCE! ** Really! Thereafter they know that I mean it and yet will give them a fair chance to comply. The thing I like about this approach is that it proves you mean what you say; it gives the child/children feedback on How Quickly to move; and it keeps me calm! I can stay calm because I know it works and because I know it makes the situation clear. I agree. I use this count-before-spank method with my almost-3 year old. He usually starts to cry immediately and then does the desired action (go to bed, pick up toys, etc) before I finish the count. I occasionally have to spank, but then usually no "beating" is required, just 1 swat. (This is certainly no cook-book aproach. What works this month, may not the next. Isn't parenting fun...). Tim Becker. ..!{allegra,seismo,decvax}!rochester!ccice5!tim