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From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Signals (digression)
Message-ID: <1630@pucc-h>
Date: Fri, 4-Jan-85 12:48:27 EST
Article-I.D.: pucc-h.1630
Posted: Fri Jan  4 12:48:27 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 5-Jan-85 07:39:38 EST
References: <242@stat-l>
Organization: 1-800-GO-NORAD
Lines: 45

>> = me
>  = Rich Kulawiec

>> He who saves his life will lose it, and he who loses his life will find it.

> If you insist on surrounding yourself with a impenetrable environment in an
> emotional sense ... then you will suffer the consequences of isolation.  Pure
> and simple; no bullshit christian paradox nonsense is necessary to explain it.

I wasn't using the above paradox as an explanation, merely pointing out the
fact that its truth is borne out by the real world, and that it is thus neither
bullshit nor nonsense.

> If you wish to live like a hermit, and avoid contact with others (in order to
> alleviate the possibility of being hurt), that is fine; if you want to live
> among others, and take the lumps which will inevitably come, that is fine,
> too.

I suspect that what I am still, alas, hoping for is a childhood, where there
are no lumps.  My #1 wish is to escape from pain; but it seems that there is
no way to do that in this world; if one isolates oneself, one is lonely; if
one seeks for people to meet one's needs, one is rejected.

I admit that part of this rejection is because I feel that my needs for warmth
and comfort, including being just gently held, physically, for a long time,
were O.K. when I was younger and didn't know anything about this whole issue.
But now that I am acquainted with the idea of self-acceptance, and the idea
that it is something I have to give to myself, I feel that a need for
acceptance by others is unacceptable.  I ought to be able to give myself
everything I need.  Doesn't that follow?  (Presumably it doesn't.  O.K.,
then, what is the actuality?)

> I find it fairly easy to call up a reasonable amount of sympathy for someone
> who tries and loses,

But nobody *likes* a loser.

> but for he/she who won't even make an effort, I have only contempt.

Maybe it's because you've had more of your efforts crowned with success.

-- 
-- Jeff Sargent
{decvax|harpo|ihnp4|inuxc|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq
Proud owner of two Control Data doorstops.