Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site ttidcc.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!bellcore!decvax!mcnc!philabs!ttidca!ttidcc!hollombe From: hollombe@ttidcc.UUCP (Jerry Hollombe) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: what is love? Message-ID: <177@ttidcc.UUCP> Date: Wed, 2-Jan-85 14:30:32 EST Article-I.D.: ttidcc.177 Posted: Wed Jan 2 14:30:32 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 7-Jan-85 01:47:47 EST Organization: TTI, Santa Monica, CA. Lines: 52 >From: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuqui Q. Koala) >Subject: what is love? >Message-ID: <2139@nsc.UUCP> > >Here is an interesting question for the people of the net: 'What is love?' >What does 'being in love' mean to you, if there is any difference at all? >How do you tell if you are in love? What does 'love' mean to you? Hmmm ... Not a simple question, but I'll take a crack at it. For years now, I've made a strong distinction between "loving" (a human necessity) and "being in love" (a disease of the mind). There are a number of people in the world who I love, i.e.: care about, enjoy their company, miss when they're not around. At the moment, as for some years past, there is no one I'm in love with, i.e.: losing sleep over, making a fool of myself over, attempting to reshape my life or self for, or any of the other damnfool things one does when in love and later wonders at from the perspective of regained sanity. "Being in love" occasionally seems to work for others, for a time, if two people happen to be in love with each other. My experience (from observation) is these relationships frequently break up acrimoniously when one or the other party falls out of love and there is nothing else to sustain them. Notice I've made no mention of sex in any of the above definitions. I don't equate sex with any form of love. Presence or absence of love may influence the quality of sex (and vice versa), but they are definitely separate phenomena. The main problem I've had with distinguishing types of love is getting others to understand what I'm talking about. This seems especially true with women. (No offense meant, ladies. Perhaps some of you have had similar problems with men?) Not surprisingly, if a woman is in love with me, she usually doesn't want to hear about how I love her but I'm not "in love with" her -- a sticky situation at best. By and large, I've found it best to avoid the use of the word "love" in a relationship where this might be the case. It may not make it any less sticky, but at least my conscience knows I've said nothing to give a false impression. The misuse of the word "love" has probably caused almost as much grief in the world as the belief in telepathy. -- The Polymath (Jerry Hollombe) Opinions expressed here are my own Transaction Technology, Inc. and unrelated to anyone else's. 3100 Ocean Park Blvd. Santa Monica, CA 90405 United States (213) 450-9111, ext. 2483 ...{garfield,lasspvax,linus,cmcl2,seismo}!philabs!ttidca!ttidcc!hollombe