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From: reza@ihuxb.UUCP (Reza Taheri)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: How to discipline short of spanking
Message-ID: <911@ihuxb.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 3-Jan-85 13:56:18 EST
Article-I.D.: ihuxb.911
Posted: Thu Jan  3 13:56:18 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 4-Jan-85 00:59:10 EST
References: <286@ho95b.UUCP>
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   My daughter is younger than yours (19-months old), so I don't want
this to sound like the definitive voice of experience.  The thing that
seems to work with her is consistency.  We had problems with putting
her to bed for about six months, starting at when she was 9-months old.
She would gladly go to bed some nights, and stay up crying for over an
hour other nights.  This went on until I decided I had had enough.  She
was put to bed exactly at 8 pm every night, even if she was being a "good
girl."  After about one week she adjusted to the new schedule and we
haven't had any problems ever since.  She may even stay up as late as
9 pm if she is obviously not tired; but as long as it does not become
a habit.

   The same goes for a method of discipline.  You need a form of
discipline that you use very rarely and every time you have used it
you have made sure your wishes have been fully carried out.  Then that
will be your ultimate weapon.  The problem is that people overuse
the punishment that works to the extent that it becomes useless.  If
you tell your kid to go to his/her room 50 times a day, then the phrase
has been heard so much that it loses its effects.  You want a form of
discipline that the child knows you use only when you are very serious and
every time it has been used, you (the parents) have won.  Unfortunately,
spanking perfectly fits this scenario, that's why it works.

   Try a new kind of discipline and the first few times that you use it,
see to it that it gives positive results.  Then only re-use it on special 
occasions.  It does not have to be a harsh punishment.  For example,
instead of sending the kid to her room when she does something bad,
force her to sit WITH you.  That is, she has to sit next to her parents
while they are reading a book and aren't talking.  She'll be bored out
of her mind.

H. Reza Taheri
...!ihnp4!ihuxb!reza
(312)-979-7473