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From: lat@leopard.UUCP (Laurie Topor)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: any LDR's out there? (advice needed)
Message-ID: <108@leopard.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 18-Jan-85 15:07:56 EST
Article-I.D.: leopard.108
Posted: Fri Jan 18 15:07:56 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 19-Jan-85 01:42:11 EST
References: <145@ihdev.UUCP>
Organization: Bell Communications Research, NVC, 331 Newman Springs Road, Red Bank, NJ 07701
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> 
> anyone else out there involved in one of those wonderful(?) long distance
> relationships?? (LDR's).  anybody have some good advice or tips on how
> to keep them going?  like i've said before, i've got 1.5 frustrating years
> ahead, and this might be a good place to discuss it.  (i have been 
> privately corresponding with another individual on the net involved in an
> LDR, and the advice i've received has been very helpful).
> 

Yes, there are others out here involved in LDR's, myself included.
Although I don't know how much longer I will be.  It gets to be
extremely frustrating at times, and right now, I am almost ready
to let it go.  I don't want to, because I care very much about the
person I am involved with, and we both want to get to know each
other better, but how the h*ll do you get to know someone when they
are ~500 miles away?  

We were friends for about a year before we started seeing each other.
Three months after that, he moved back to Virginia (he had been here
four years).  We decided to see how things would go before we finally
broke it off.  He's been there six months now, and it seems like the
relationship has gone nowhere, except maybe backwards.  I have given him
a lot of support during his job searches.  I'm not bitching about it,
don't get me wrong.  I just get the feeling he is trying to find himself
instead of finding a job (he is still looking for one).  It's hard for
me right now, because I am trying to decide what the next step in my
life should be.  Should I go back to New England?  Should I go back to
school full-time?  Should I stick it out here for another three years
until I finally get my B.S. (part-time school and full-time job is not
easy)?  Or should I look for a job in Virginia?  The only feedback I
have gotten is along the lines of "I wish you were here", "I miss you",
or "Whatever you do, don't move any further away".  Which really doesn't
help any.

Somehow, I have to try to open up the lines of communication between us.
But I don't know how to do it from ~500 miles away, and I won't be going
down there until March.  He hasn't said anything about coming here to
visit me, only about me seeing if I can go down there before March.  How
can you tell someone so far away what is going on inside your head without
blowing them away?  Or can't it be done?  Any suggestions would be
welcome.

Laurie

{ihnp4, gatech, allegra}!leopard!lat