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From: gds@mit-eddie.UUCP (Greg Skinner)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: a new group???
Message-ID: <3450@mit-eddie.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 18-Jan-85 12:18:58 EST
Article-I.D.: mit-eddi.3450
Posted: Fri Jan 18 12:18:58 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 21-Jan-85 01:45:21 EST
References: <1885@inmet.UUCP> <1684@pucc-h>
Organization: MIT Lusers and Hosers Inc., Cambridge, Ma.
Lines: 46

> From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent)

>> From Beth Mazur (inmet!mazur):

>> You may blame your parents or your siblings [I didn't have any, which makes
>> things even worse -- JJS] or your first female friend or your 3rd grade
>> history teacher for screwing up your life, but you are an adult now Jeff.
>> Act like one.  You alone are responsible for your behavior.  

> << FLAME ON >>  Would all you people who are (or think you are) so
> well-adjusted (I am coming to the conclusion that "adjustment" is a synonym
> for complacency or even insensitivity) mind waking up to the fact that this
> is a lot easier said than done??  << Flame Diminishing >>  Sorry, Beth; your
> article isn't really insensitive like the one you were following up; but
> neither is it as realistic as it seems on first reading.  << flame off >>

I'll admit, yes, it's easier said than done, but I think the difference
between you and those who you call "well-adjusted" is that the
"well-adjusted" people have found better ways of coping with their
problems, not that they don't have any problems.

> Obviously there will be those who will point out my Christianity to me and
> state that God can fill that emptiness.  But what I'm really missing is the
> feeling of warmth and safety that I should have had, and didn't much, when
> I was a kid; and everything I read about God suggests that He will lead me
> into less and less safety, rather than more.  Any comments on this from the
> Christian community (by mail or in net.religion.christian, if you don't want
> to risk flames for bringing a religious discussion into this
> newsgroup)?

One thing I have discovered (much to my regret) is that you can't go
back.  Life goes on.  Case in point ... me being up at the 'Tute is not
quite the same as when I was a student here.  I'll always have my
memories but coming back to visit is not really like always having been
here.  In your case Jeff, you need to stop looking back and start
looking at the future.  I know it's difficult but you'll never escape
the ghosts and demons of your past if you don't look to the future.
There are people out there who can, do, and will care about you just as
much as your parents would have had they not separated.  You need to
find those people -- some of them are on the net but an even larger
number can be found at a good fellowship.
-- 
Hug me till you drug me, honey!

Greg Skinner (gregbo)
{decvax!genrad, eagle!mit-vax, allegra, ihnp4}!mit-eddie!gds