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From: ables@cyb-eng.UUCP (King Ables)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: more on dating co-workers
Message-ID: <485@cyb-eng.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 7-Jan-85 13:43:02 EST
Article-I.D.: cyb-eng.485
Posted: Mon Jan  7 13:43:02 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 11-Jan-85 06:25:03 EST
Organization: Cyb Systems, Austin, TX
Lines: 53



...it's just one of the few times I've had an experience applicable
to the discussion.

I'd try to get to be friends first.  If you get to be close friends,
dates will come up during conversations.  You'll know whether there's
a reason to risk the embarassment/uncomfortableness of dating (& maybe later
not dating) a co-worker.  If you still want to, then damn the rumours
and the talk.  But just going on a date with a co-worker without getting to
know her first could be uncomfortable if you decided nothing was to
come of it from a few dates...you can find that out by being acquaintances.
I think it's a lot easier to get along with a friend than an ex-date
(whom you've never known as anything BUT a date).  If there's fault
with this logic, it could be here, I've always viewed a date as a different
kind of acquaintance than a just a person you meet (here I mean 1st-3rd
date or so).

The woman I'm seeing now started working where I used to work and we
became "good buddies."  We had the same interests, went to lunch all the
time, etc.  After a while, the grapevine started up.  We knew it, but
it didn't bother either of us much, so we didn't actively try to stop
it, the people who knew us well knew the truth and that's all that mattered.
Besides, it just meant that they could tell how well we got along together.
Then they let their imagination run away with them.  I used to say it was
too bad we weren't having as much fun as everybody else thought we were.
After a while, however, the rumours began to subside as our friends began to
straighten out other people.

During all this, however, I was having second (and third and forth)
thoughts about how hard I was having to work to keep the relationship
platonic.  We were both of the opinion that we didn't want to date someone
we worked with (I have since qualified my opinion on this a little).
Fortunately, almost 2 years later, I got another job, and after remaining
just friends a little longer (very close by this time), we decided to change
the relationship.  By this time, I had a real close friend that I hated
to risk for anything more, but there have been so many times in my
life when I didn't take a risk, that I couldn't pass up another one.
So far, everything is great, she's started a new job, too.  My only
regret is that I waited until outside influences made part of the
decision for me.

It sounds like we need an opinion from someone who began and ended
a relationship with a co-worker all while they were co-working.  The
articles I've read so far and mine have fairly happy endings or they
end after the two people are no longer co-workers.  Anybody have a
"worst possible case" they're willing to talk about?

BTW, Greg, whatever you decide to do, good luck.

-King
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