Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/12/84; site desint.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!zehntel!hplabs!sdcrdcf!trwrb!desint!geoff From: geoff@desint.UUCP (Geoff Kuenning) Newsgroups: net.kids Subject: Re: How to discipline short of spanking Message-ID: <312@desint.UUCP> Date: Thu, 17-Jan-85 01:10:39 EST Article-I.D.: desint.312 Posted: Thu Jan 17 01:10:39 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 21-Jan-85 03:54:36 EST References: <286@ho95b.UUCP> <296@desint.UUCP> <110@spp3.UUCP> Organization: his home computer, Manhattan Beach, CA Lines: 29 In article <110@spp3.UUCP> robbin@spp3.UUCP writes: >I haven't gotten to the age of reason but my sister has a son 5 and her >husband (second, therefore not the boys father) shares in the discipline. > >He does not believe in spanking but Jason does push too far. His way of >dealing with it, which I have not seen or hear of, is to have Jason get on >his knees on the floor and hold his hands out straight for some length of >time until he says he is sorry or won't do whatever again. Have you ever tried this position yourself? Especially for a child with partially-developed muscles, it becomes painful very quickly. In that sense, it is no different than spanking. But it's actually far worse than spanking, because it is slow, growing torture. Spanking is quick; it is a sudden and definite punishment that is over with. I think that this approach is quite cruel. I also feel that it is unfair, since you are basically torturing the child until he breaks, as opposed to delivering a swift (painful!) and fair consequence of misbehavior. But probably the worst aspect of the approach is that it teaches the child to be able to deal with the pain and endure it. I bet that the more your sister uses this technique, the longer Jason will be able to stand it. This is a route to uncontrollability. (Think about it: how would you go about teaching a child to be able to stand any punishment and still be willing to defy you? Gradually increasing dosages of pain are a very effective way). -- Geoff Kuenning ...!ihnp4!trwrb!desint!geoff