Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site whuxi.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!whuxlm!whuxl!whuxi!ktw From: ktw@whuxi.UUCP (WOLMAN) Newsgroups: net.kids Subject: Re: spanking Message-ID: <247@whuxi.UUCP> Date: Mon, 7-Jan-85 09:06:50 EST Article-I.D.: whuxi.247 Posted: Mon Jan 7 09:06:50 1985 Date-Received: Wed, 9-Jan-85 05:51:33 EST References: <286@ho95b.UUCP> <858@amdahl.UUCP>, <859@amdahl.UUCP> Organization: Bell Labs, Whippany, N.J. Lines: 29 There are things far worse than the occasional open palm applied to the rear end. In my house, spankings are rare, and are delivered for only two reasons: 1) impressing on our sons that a physical danger attaches to certain activities, e.g., putting one's fingers in a light socket, stepping off the curb into traffic without looking, etc. (I know, cover the sockets, and we did that, but there are tons of household dangers you can't protect against except to warn); and 2) outright verbal and/or physical disrespect of our persons by our children. The latter these days is far more likely to generate a swat that the former. When I am forced to spank, I do so quickly. I do not yell at the kids at that point, and try not to express or show anger in such a way that their SELF-WORTH is compromised. I grew up in a home in which the chief weapon of discipline was contempt; it was far more wounding than a spanking. Thus, immediately afterwards I try to hug the child in question and explain--if he's listening at that point--why he "got it." I have never had a situation where a grudge was carried for more than five minutes. Spanking is a "last resort." But it is one that can be effective is used judiciously, without spiritual malice, and at the right time. Obviously, there is much more that can be said, and I'm sure it will be. Ken Wolman Bellcore @ Livingston [now at] lcuxc!kenw