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From: mjs@utastro.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: getting hurt (for Jeff S.)
Message-ID: <959@utastro.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 24-Dec-84 19:16:17 EST
Article-I.D.: utastro.959
Posted: Mon Dec 24 19:16:17 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 5-Jan-85 02:02:01 EST
Distribution: net
Organization: UTexas Astronomy Dept., Austin, Texas
Lines: 33

Jeff, I haven't read about a lot of your problems
that I can even offer advice on, but here's one thing
I do know:

A relationship really IS kind of like riding a bicycle.
When you first start, you spend all your time being so
terrified that you're going to fall down that you eventually
DO.  It hurts and you wonder why you ever decided to ride
a bike in the first place.

But after that, the falling down gets easier.  It still
hurts some, but at least it becomes familiar, something
you can deal with.  

The point is, the hardest part is starting, and that's
what you're facing now. It will get easier if you get
more practice.  Ask yourself this:

Are you more concerned with riding that bicycle, or
are you more concerned with not falling down?

I think you're putting so much emphasis on the details--
getting hurt, dealing with physical desires, wanting both
of you to be perfect--that you're totally missing the
real reason you're striving: to get close with someone
and have a relationship with her.  Just worry about
riding the bicycle, Jeff.  Plenty of time to worry
about the rest later.

Pooh

"L, I, V, E,  LIVE!  . . .Otherwise, you've got nothing to
	     talk about in the locker room."