Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/3/84; site mhuxn.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!mhuxr!mhuxn!presley From: presley@mhuxn.UUCP (Joe Presley) Newsgroups: net.misc,net.flame,net.jokes Subject: Psychic [sic] Predictions for 1984 Message-ID: <173@mhuxn.UUCP> Date: Fri, 21-Dec-84 22:15:08 EST Article-I.D.: mhuxn.173 Posted: Fri Dec 21 22:15:08 1984 Date-Received: Sun, 23-Dec-84 00:10:37 EST Expires: Sat, 2-Feb-85 00:00:00 EST Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Murray Hill Lines: 72 Xref: watmath net.misc:7170 net.flame:7347 net.jokes:10061 Well, it's "that time of year" again (my third annual recap on the year that was to have been). Here are the highlights from the January 3, 1984 issue of *National Enquirer*, America's answer to *Pravda*, where America's 10 leading psychics gave us their all in telling us what to expect. Even though 1984 isn't over yet, I feel confident we've no problem with passing judgement. (My parenthetical notes after the psychics' names are from *N.E.* itself. [Dorothy Allison - who has helped police solve crimes]. Unemployment will drop; American factories will have full order books; time of great national pride in American-made products; Monaco's Prince Albert and Brooke Shields wed; Johnny Carson quits; Larry Hagman drops out of "Dallas" and goes to Tibet to study under a guru; gorilla escapes from NYC zoo and terrorizes the city. [Clarisa Bernhardt - who predicted earthquakes]. Economy will go up and up; food and fuel prices will tumble; Sean Connery will be attacked by a gunman in NYC; Joan Rivers and Liz Taylor make up and Liz offers to sit in for Joan as hostess of "The Tonight Show"; [John Catchings - who locates missing people]. Burt Reynolds confesses to being in love with a 16 year old high school girl; Michael Landon will star in a TV show about a gay priest; Ted Kennedy will elope with his secretary; a vaccine against AIDS will be developed. [Shawn Robbins - predicted a major air disaster]. John Lennon's ghost saves Yoko and Sean from fire; two Soviet jumbo jets collide, killing 1000; Congress launches probe into UFO after Jimmy Carter reveals a UFO sighting; Gary Coleman will sprout up. [Florence Vaty - predicted Nixon's resignation]. Commando-style gang of Viet Vets steal crown jewels from the Tower of London; one of Reagan's children will be captured by pro-Arab terrorists; Prince Rainier proposes to Jackie Onassis and she accepts; Pope John Paul is target of assasin when he makes a surprise visit to Poland; Space Shuttle astronauts pick up messages from another planet. [Micki Dahne - predicted Canary Island jumbo jet collision]. Huge earthquake in CA reveals a major new gold vein; Joan Collins moves from "Dallas" to "Dynasty" (to replace Larry Hagman?); Mr. T struck by lightening attracted to his gold jewelry. [Fredrick Davies]. Reagan pushes for major new tax breaks to insure his November victory; gold soars to $1000/oz. [Lou Wright - predicted assassination attempts on Reagan and John Paul]. John Denver buried under avalanche; Shirley MacLaine opens an "occult travel agency"; Cher becomes a born-again Christian and tours as a gospel singer. [Barbara Donchess - predicted Mount St. Helens eruption]. A way to repair heart damage without surgery is discovered; Nancy Reagan is involved in helicopter crash; gunman wounds Presidential candidate Jesse Jackson in Memphis. [Beverly Jaegers - helped St. Louis police solve crimes]. Federal government cracks down on religious cults and deports foreign-born leaders of these cults; Yasir Arafat assassinated; a medical breakthrough in brain implant surgery will occur. ------------- If you've managed to wade through this far, congratulations!! I knew you would do it!! Any guesses when I'll post my recap of the *1985* predictions? -- Joe Presley (ihnp4!j.presley)