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From: canopus@amdahl.UUCP (Flaming Asteroid)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: How to discipline short of spanking
Message-ID: <859@amdahl.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 4-Jan-85 11:48:17 EST
Article-I.D.: amdahl.859
Posted: Fri Jan  4 11:48:17 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 6-Jan-85 00:04:54 EST
References: <286@ho95b.UUCP> <858@amdahl.UUCP>
Organization: Amdahl Corp, Sunnyvale CA
Lines: 35

> We've been told by many people that a good spanking is what she needs.
> But the couple of times we've reluctantly done so, she tells us,
> "Don't hit me.  You shouldn't hit me!" which is precisely what we tell
> her when she hits us. It's tough to argue with that.

This is a tough one... but in relation to bed/naptime, what we have done
is just cut out the naps.  Makes the kid a little crankier by evening,
but generally willing to go to bed (8 PM at our house for a 5 and a 3
year old).  You might also try taking the kid to a park for an hour or
so for some intense physical exercise (running around, etc).

Discipline is a very tough issue to address, since each child responds
uniquely to it.  Some kids can be reasoned with, some can't.  Punishment
for our kids is confinement to the bedroom for a period of time.  We
handled the inevitable tantrums, screaming, and general property
destruction as follows:  We tell them that if they want to scream and
cry, it's OK as long as they confine it to their room.  We tell them
that we do not tolerate emptying the contents of the dresser onto the
floor, nor the smashing of toys.  This seems to work, though screaming
and crying will carry on for as much as 15 or 20 minutes (which can
seem like an eternity).  It is important to use a tone of voice when
saying this that means business (picture Darth Vader: "You WILL pay
for your lack of vision").

We have never REALLY spanked, although unacceptable behavior is usually
met lightning fast with a single swat on the bottom (and a quick trip
to the bedroom when feasible).  This element of shock/surprise for us
has always worked.  I realize it is negative reinforcement, but my
experience with children has led me to the conclusion that a little
aversion therapy works wonders!
-- 
Frank Dibbell  (408-746-6493)    ...!{ihnp4,hplabs,amd,nsc}!amdahl!canopus
[R.A. 6h 22m 30s  Dec. -52d 36m]

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