Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site amdahl.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!bellcore!decvax!decwrl!sun!amdahl!canopus From: canopus@amdahl.UUCP (Flaming Asteroid) Newsgroups: net.kids Subject: Re: How to discipline short of spanking Message-ID: <859@amdahl.UUCP> Date: Fri, 4-Jan-85 11:48:17 EST Article-I.D.: amdahl.859 Posted: Fri Jan 4 11:48:17 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 6-Jan-85 00:04:54 EST References: <286@ho95b.UUCP> <858@amdahl.UUCP> Organization: Amdahl Corp, Sunnyvale CA Lines: 35 > We've been told by many people that a good spanking is what she needs. > But the couple of times we've reluctantly done so, she tells us, > "Don't hit me. You shouldn't hit me!" which is precisely what we tell > her when she hits us. It's tough to argue with that. This is a tough one... but in relation to bed/naptime, what we have done is just cut out the naps. Makes the kid a little crankier by evening, but generally willing to go to bed (8 PM at our house for a 5 and a 3 year old). You might also try taking the kid to a park for an hour or so for some intense physical exercise (running around, etc). Discipline is a very tough issue to address, since each child responds uniquely to it. Some kids can be reasoned with, some can't. Punishment for our kids is confinement to the bedroom for a period of time. We handled the inevitable tantrums, screaming, and general property destruction as follows: We tell them that if they want to scream and cry, it's OK as long as they confine it to their room. We tell them that we do not tolerate emptying the contents of the dresser onto the floor, nor the smashing of toys. This seems to work, though screaming and crying will carry on for as much as 15 or 20 minutes (which can seem like an eternity). It is important to use a tone of voice when saying this that means business (picture Darth Vader: "You WILL pay for your lack of vision"). We have never REALLY spanked, although unacceptable behavior is usually met lightning fast with a single swat on the bottom (and a quick trip to the bedroom when feasible). This element of shock/surprise for us has always worked. I realize it is negative reinforcement, but my experience with children has led me to the conclusion that a little aversion therapy works wonders! -- Frank Dibbell (408-746-6493) ...!{ihnp4,hplabs,amd,nsc}!amdahl!canopus [R.A. 6h 22m 30s Dec. -52d 36m] [Generic disclaimer...]