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From: garys@bunker.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: How to discipline short of spanking
Message-ID: <644@bunker.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 3-Jan-85 10:17:05 EST
Article-I.D.: bunker.644
Posted: Thu Jan  3 10:17:05 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 5-Jan-85 01:54:43 EST
References: <286@ho95b.UUCP>
Organization: Bunker Ramo, Trumbull Ct
Lines: 50

Our daughter is 2 years, 1 month old, and we have simlilar
problems getting her to bed.  General discipline we don't
seem to have as much trouble with.

Something that works well for us in getting our daughter to
bed at night is for one of us (almost always my wife, but
I have done it, too) to lie down with her until she goes
to sleep.

The title of your article suggests that you've already decided
on the kind of answer you want to hear.  But I recommend a good
spanking, if nothing else works.  And I don't mean a reluctant
one, where she is able to make you feel ashamed for disciplining
her.  The rules for adults are different from the rules for
children (which gradually change as the child gets older, until
the children become adults and the rules match).

(If anyone argues that the rules for two-year-olds should be
the same as for adults, tell me how the two-year-old you
have in mind earns a living.)

Anecdote:  When the second child of some friends of ours, a girl,
was 2, she started a practice of waking up in the wee hours of the
morning and screaming for an hour or two.  After several nights of
attempting to discover the problem, (Are you hurt? scared? etc.)
one night the mother informed her that if she didn't go back to
bed, she would be spanked with a wooden spoon.  The girl proceeded
to get up; she was spanked, and put back in bed.  Immediately she
got up again and was spanked again.  This process was repeated several
times that one night, before the girl stayed in bed.  The next night
it happened exactly once, and after that it didn't happen again.

Yes, you feel rotten when you have to spank your child.  And the
child knows that, and will exploit the fact to try to make you
feel more rotten so you won't do it again.  But who's training
whom?

In our own case, we haven't had to resort to such severe punishment.
(But if we have to, we will, and I think our daughter knows that,
since we have spanked her before.)

An interesting observation the same friend had was that our daughter
would go to bed without any fuss for her when she wouldn't for us,
so we know that it is simply a matter of asserting her will.

I hope this is helpful; I also hope I don't sound like a know-it-all;
I can only say what seems to work, and why I think it does.

Gary Samuelson
ittvax!bunker!garys