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From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: The end of it
Message-ID: <1649@pucc-h>
Date: Wed, 9-Jan-85 10:17:21 EST
Article-I.D.: pucc-h.1649
Posted: Wed Jan  9 10:17:21 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 11-Jan-85 23:54:41 EST
References: <483@mako.UUCP>
Organization: the PIRATE ship
Lines: 43

From Dave Seifert (mako!seifert):

>>   So many times in the past I have become
>> interested in a woman not because I was really interested in her unique
>> combination of qualities, but because I wanted forgiveness or some sort of
>> healing from her -- a fact which I did not realize until too late.  Thus
>> now I assume that even though I don't see it now, there's probably some
>> such thing lurking under the surface of any desire I might feel now.

> Perhaps, but is it really necessary to always assume the worst?

Yes.  I note now that there are several women I'm attracted to, distributed
from the longitude of New York to that of North Dakota.  In almost all cases,
I find that each woman symbolizes some character quality wherein I am
deficient.  (I think I wrote something like this in an earlier article.)
Thus my attraction is not legitimate.

> Maybe you like her qualities *and* want forgiveness or healing.
> And maybe you really do just like her.

Again, wanting to get total forgiveness & healing from another human being
is cheating.  Thus, if I feel that way, I have no right to act on my
attraction to her (even if I do like her qualities), because I will be
asking from her something that she cannot give.

> And some of us feel that just having an SO would do a lot of healing.
> (whether you're looking for healing or not.)

Perhaps.  But I cannot go to a woman for the purpose of healing.  (Plus, see
my earlier article [a response to Chuq] in which my inability to trust a
woman that closely is discussed.)

I'm sorry, but while I will tell all sorts of things to people (obviously),
I cannot dare to actually, explicitly, give another person the amount of
power over me that an SO would have.  Giving a person that much power is
the surest way to get yourself hurt.  The worst thing is that the hurt may
not come for many years down the line, as my parents found, as the 40/20
club members have found.

-- 
-- Jeff Sargent
{decvax|harpo|ihnp4|inuxc|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq
Proud owner of two Control Data doorstops.