Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site utcsrgv.UUCP
Path: utzoo!utcsrgv!ray
From: ray@utcsrgv.UUCP (Raymond Allen)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: wearing rings
Message-ID: <646@utcsrgv.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 9-Jan-85 17:00:19 EST
Article-I.D.: utcsrgv.646
Posted: Wed Jan  9 17:00:19 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 9-Jan-85 17:16:36 EST
References: <954@utastro.UUCP> <902@dual.UUCP>
Distribution: net
Organization: CSRI, University of Toronto
Lines: 79

> <*munch*>
> 
> I go through cycles of wearing/not wearing rings.  When I do wear them, it's
> mainly for fun (exceptions below); when I don't, it's usually at a time when
> I'm at the keyboard a lot, and the rings tend to slide around on my fingers
> (due to minor fluctuations in the size of my fingers because of swelling,
> etc.) which is very distracting when I'm typing all day.
> 
> I have a star sapphire with four tiny diamonds which I wear on my left ring
> finger when I wear rings at all.  It was a birthday present from my
> grandfather when I turned 20, but most people don't know that, and it looks
> like it may well have been put there by an SO.  Which brings me to the real
> answer to your question.  Sometimes I just want to protect myself from
> pestering morons who feel the need to obnoxiously "hit" on any available
> female (e.g., going out for a drink at a bar with a girlfriend).  For these
> people to see a ring on someone's finger leads them to think something along
> the lines of "she's already taken; why bother?" and thus eliminates for me
> the potential for harassment (or at least reduces it).  Second, any man who
> *won't* talk to me because he thinks I'm married, engaged, or whatever isn't
> worth my time:  if he cannot see me as a friend, but only as a potential
> person with whom he can go farther (I decline to specify a degree of "going
> farther"), I don't need him as a friend, either.  A real friend won't be put
> off by the probability that the relationship will not go farther than "just"
> a friendship.
> 
> Helen Anne

	I had to leave the entire text of the original posting since
all of it is worth reading and is relevant to the points which I
would now like to raise:

	1)  How many of you single people out there actually try
	    to acquaint yourselves with people that you would assume
	    are married (I'm talking socially, of course)?

	    I have found very few single people who would not prefer
	    having single friends as opposed to married ones.  Given
	    the situation that Helen discusses (person out socially,
	    prospective introductor is single and looking for someone
	    to talk to) I think that it is natural for a single person
	    to seek out other single people.  Us single types have
	    more in common with each other than with married people
	    IN A GENERAL SENSE ONLY.

	2)  Helen states that "A real friend won't be put
	    off by the probability that the relationship will not
	    go farther than 'just' a friendship."  This is essentially
	    true.  The problem is that she is talking about a situation
	    where there are two people who do not know each other
	    and where one of them is thinking of introducing him/herself
	    to the other.  HOW THE HELL CAN YOU DECIDE IF YOU ARE A
	    "REAL FRIEND" TO SOMEONE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YET???????!
	    The raw fact of the situation is that if you are in a
	    place where the majority of people don't know each other
	    and people are introducing themselves to others, then they
	    probably ARE "on the make", looking for a SO, etc, etc, etc.

	    If I want to talk to friends, I pick up the phone and call
	    them.  Anyone who claims to frequent social places (especially
	    bars and discos) and insists that s/he is looking for friends
	    is either (a) lying, or (b) entitled to the Jesus Christ
	    award for mortal and spiritual purity.  I suppose there is
	    also (c) and (d) wants a drink or enjoys the atmosphere but
	    this is not likely to be true of many single people who
	    FREQUENT such places.  At least (c) and/or (d) aren't likely
	    to be the only reasons.

	Enough long-windedness.  Helen, personally, I think you have a
terrible attitude towards other people (read: MEN).  You should be
flattered by these "pestering morons" who consider you attractive
enough to want to get to know you.  (OK OK you probably want to be
respected for more than your appearance, but what other criteria
is apparant to people who are in such situations?)  Try to have
respect for the imperfections of others.

		"You can't get me, I'm hiding behind the terminal"

			Ray Allen
			utcsrgv!ray