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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!zehntel!dual!hav
From: hav@dual.UUCP (Helen Anne Vigneau)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: wearing rings
Message-ID: <906@dual.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 15-Jan-85 17:48:31 EST
Article-I.D.: dual.906
Posted: Tue Jan 15 17:48:31 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 16-Jan-85 21:23:01 EST
References: <954@utastro.UUCP> <902@dual.UUCP> <646@utcsrgv.UUCP>
Distribution: net
Organization: Dual Systems, Berkeley, CA
Lines: 151

<*munch*>

=> 	I had to leave the entire text of the original posting since
=> all of it is worth reading

I'm glad you found it worthwhile.

=>                            and is relevant to the points which I
=> would now like to raise:

Watch it; you're beginning to raise my temper.

=>	1)  How many of you single people out there actually try
=>	    to acquaint yourselves with people that you would assume
=>	    are married (I'm talking socially, of course)?

What's the matter?  Married people are pariahs?

=>	    I have found very few single people who would not prefer
=>	    having single friends as opposed to married ones.

Nice, snobbish friends you have, pal.  So there *is* something wrong with
married people, then?

=>                                                          Given
=>	    the situation that Helen discusses (person out socially,
=>	    prospective introductor is single and looking for someone
=>	    to talk to) I think that it is natural for a single person
=>	    to seek out other single people.

1.  My name is *Helen Anne*.  Please do not call me Helen; I do not like that
    name.

2.  I seek out people I *like*; it does not matter whether they are single
    or married, black or white, tall or short, et cetera.

=>                                         Us single types have
=>	    more in common with each other than with married people
=>	    IN A GENERAL SENSE ONLY.

Glad you qualified that one.

=>	2)  Helen states that "A real friend won't be put
=>	    off by the probability that the relationship will not
=>	    go farther than 'just' a friendship."  This is essentially
=>	    true.  The problem is that she is talking about a situation
=>	    where there are two people who do not know each other
=>	    and where one of them is thinking of introducing him/herself
=>	    to the other.  HOW THE HELL CAN YOU DECIDE IF YOU ARE A
=>	    "REAL FRIEND" TO SOMEONE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YET???????!

The point was that the ring can serve as a "parasite repellent" when someone
wants nothing beyond another notch on his bedpost.  I'm not saying all men
are like that; if they were, I wouldn't have been happily living with the
same man for the last two and a half years.  Some, however, are exactly like
that, and I don't need to waste five minutes listening to asinine pick-up
lines to figure this out and realize that *no way* is this person every going
to be my friend.  I'm out for a little more from people than a good lay,
thank you.  *And* I've spent enough time in various bars to believe that I've
got a pretty good handle on the rules of the game by now.  This isn't some
naive schoolgirl you're talking to here.  BTW, I am not averse to striking up
an *intelligent* conversation with a male in a bar, but the sad fact is that
these are few and far between.

=>	    The raw fact of the situation is that if you are in a
=>	    place where the majority of people don't know each other
=>	    and people are introducing themselves to others, then they
=>	    probably ARE "on the make", looking for a SO, etc, etc, etc.

Yup.  You're right.  I've developed all sorts of meaningful relationships in
bars; doesn't everyone?  (If you believe that . . . )  I take it, then, that
people who are not trying to have an affair have no business in bars.  Maybe
we should just sit in a corner of the living room with a glass of white wine
and a hankie?  Besides, there are bars, and then there bars.  If you want to
talk about raw facts, the fact is that I don't hang out in meat racks.  We're
talking the neighborhood-type bar here, guy.

=>	    If I want to talk to friends, I pick up the phone and call
=>	    them.  Anyone who claims to frequent social places (especially
=>	    bars and discos) and insists that s/he is looking for friends
=>	    is either (a) lying, or (b) entitled to the Jesus Christ
=>	    award for mortal and spiritual purity.  I suppose there is
=>	    also (c) and (d) wants a drink or enjoys the atmosphere but
=>	    this is not likely to be true of many single people who
=>	    FREQUENT such places.  At least (c) and/or (d) aren't likely
=>	    to be the only reasons.

BACK OFF!!!  Kindly don't make vast character assessments like that that; you
don't even know me!



If you bothered to read my original posting, you would have noticed that I
specifically stated in my example that I sometimes go to a bar with a female
friend.  Thus, I have (or she has) already picked up the phone and called.
Furthermore, I never said I *frequent* these places.  Where in the h*ll did
you get that one?  I also never said I was looking for friends.  Again, where
in the h*ll did you get that one?  To elucidate for you (you obviously need
it), I sometimes want *to go out* for a drink.  I do not necessarily like the
atmosphere in these places, but then, I don't go for the atmosphere; I go
with a companion, for her companionship.  I *do not* project an air of
availability; on the contrary, I generally turn away from the "action" to
concentrate my attentions on the conversation I am having with my friend.
It seems to me that someone's preference for privacy at a supposedly private
table should be obvious to all who contemplate insinuating themselves into a
conversation or situation.  I could be wrong though:  you don't seem to find
this obvious at all; maybe you need to take Remedial Bar Scene 101.  :-)

=>	Enough long-windedness.  Helen, personally, I think you have a
=>terrible attitude towards other people (read: MEN).

I'm sure my boyfriend would get a laugh out of that remark!  Personally I
think you're paranoid.  And long-winded.

=>                                                     You should be
=>flattered by these "pestering morons" who consider you attractive
=>enough to want to get to know you.

You're right again.  Men are g*d's gift to me and the others of my gender.
It certainly is a treat and a privilege to have their attentions bestowed
upon lowly me.  I shouldn't be bothered that their approach reminds me of a
barnyard animal; after all, I'm lucky to be noticed.

=>                                    (OK OK you probably want to be
=>respected for more than your appearance, but what other criteria
=>is apparant to people who are in such situations?)

After all, what is there to judge my by besides pretty face, nice body,
clean hair?  Certainly I don't have a mind, sense of humor, or emotions.
Especially emotions--what woman with *feelings* could possibly be so callous
to reject a man who is offering her something meaningful of himself.  If his
astrological sign is right, what else is there?  Besides, as I clearly stated
in my original posting, I'm there for personal amusement with someone whose
company I choose; *not* for personal (read sexual) gain.

=>                                                     Try to have
=>respect for the imperfections of others.

I do.  What I have no respect for is the crassness of others.

=>		"You can't get me, I'm hiding behind the terminal"

Wimp.  Come out here and buy me a drink, like a real man.  :-)

=>			Ray Allen
=>			utcsrgv!ray

Helen Anne

P.S.  Ray, if you want to continue in this vein, why don't you meet me in
      net.flame; I read it regularly.