Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site ccice5.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!bellcore!decvax!genrad!teddy!panda!talcott!harvard!seismo!rochester!ritcv!ccice5!tim
From: tim@ccice5.UUCP (Timothy G. Becker)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: discipline
Message-ID: <630@ccice5.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 9-Jan-85 13:31:34 EST
Article-I.D.: ccice5.630
Posted: Wed Jan  9 13:31:34 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 12-Jan-85 07:06:11 EST
References: <116@decwrl.UUCP>
Reply-To: tim@ccice5.UUCP (Timothy G. Becker)
Distribution: net
Organization: CCI Central Engineering, Rochester, NY
Lines: 27

In article <116@decwrl.UUCP> merrill@rex.DEC writes:
	My method that I've used successfully with 4 of 5 kids is this: after
	two or three years of age before which we never spank them, they each
	begin to show their defiance of parental authority.  Often this takes
	the form of delaying tactics or simplying ignoring parental cajoling.
	This can get really agrivating to said parent!  Rather than "bust 'em"
	right then and there, I say "I really mean what I am about to say. If
	I count to three and you have not done ____ ___ ____ then I shall
	spank you."  Now MY word is on the line, so I'm not going to count so
	fast as to make it impossible, but if there is no action, I count!
	** With the first 4 I only EVER got to three ONCE! ** Really! Thereafter
	they know that I mean it and yet will give them a fair chance to comply.

	The thing I like about this approach is that it proves you mean what you
	say; it gives the child/children feedback on How Quickly to move; and it
	keeps me calm!  I can stay calm because I know it works and because I
	know it makes the situation clear. 

I agree.  I use this count-before-spank method with my almost-3 year old.
He usually starts to cry immediately and then does the desired action
(go to bed, pick up toys, etc) before I finish the count.  I occasionally
have to spank, but then usually no "beating" is required, just 1 swat.
(This is certainly no cook-book aproach.  What works this month, may not
the next. Isn't parenting fun...).

Tim Becker.
..!{allegra,seismo,decvax}!rochester!ccice5!tim