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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!js2j
From: js2j@mhuxt.UUCP (sonntag)
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: Drivers in New Jersey
Message-ID: <490@mhuxt.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 11-Jan-85 14:53:26 EST
Article-I.D.: mhuxt.490
Posted: Fri Jan 11 14:53:26 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 12-Jan-85 06:17:28 EST
Distribution: net
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Murray Hill
Lines: 33


    There aren't very many drivers in New Jersey; there are, however, a whole
lot of %#/&sonsa#~^tches who have managed to learn how to make cars go.  While
driving to work this morning I managed to encounter several of the more common
varieties of New Jersey 'drivers'.
    The first of them was the gentleman who seemed to think that people turning
left at an ordinary traffic light had the right of way.  No one else thought
that, so he ended up stuck in the intersection at a 45 degree angle, blocking
the traffic in the lane I was in.
    Next was the cop who thought that a relatively narrow two-lane street with
people parked on the other side during rush hour was a good place to stop and
give someone a ticket.  Why should he care about the traffic jam he created?
He was already at work.
    Then there was the guy who wanted to pull out onto the street and turn     
left.  But there was too much traffic to get a hole in both directions at the
same time (soon enough for him), but he managed to solve his problem.  He just
waited until there was a space in traffic on his side, pulled halfway out,
waited while a few dozen cars lined up on the street which he was blocking,
and pulled out when a space came from the other direction.
    There was a woman in such a hurry that she had to pull out right in front
of me, causing me to slam on my brakes.  Then she decided that she wasn't in
a hurry any more and drove at 30mph in a 45 zone.
    And one last guy who thought that it was alright to blast through a red
light at full speed as long as it had been yellow recently.  (I fooled him
by slamming on my brakes, causing him to miss me.)
    Would the gun control advocates mind if I mounted a few fully automatic,
large caliber rifles on my fenders?  I'd even promise not to use them on 
anything more intelligent than an empty can of soda.  Maybe they would be
more effective than the wimpy-sounding horn on my Toyota.
-- 
Jeff Sonntag
ihnp4!mhuxt!js2j
    "Aye, Captain, and at warp 11 we're going nowhere mighty fast!"