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From: hollombe@ttidcc.UUCP (Jerry Hollombe)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Suggestion for dealing with Jeff
Message-ID: <183@ttidcc.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 14-Jan-85 14:46:34 EST
Article-I.D.: ttidcc.183
Posted: Mon Jan 14 14:46:34 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 20-Jan-85 00:40:58 EST
Organization: TTI, Santa Monica, CA.
Lines: 47

[]

I was going to stay out of this mess, but when someone  quoted  one  of  my
postings and attributed it to Jeff (with my name on the source line, yet) I
decided enough was enough.

All the flap about Jeff Sargent  distracting  the  net  reminds  me  of  my
experiences  while  working  for  the  local  suicide  prevention  hotline.
Statistical analysis of our callers there revealed that 60%  of  the  calls
came from 20% of the callers.  Repeat callers were a major problem and most
of them sounded a lot like Jeff.  (This  is  not  to  imply  that  Jeff  is
suicidal,  though  who  knows?)  Understand,  these  people were calling us
because they had no one else to talk to, having long since burned  out  the
tolerance of their friends and acquaintances, if any.

Anyway, a general rule of thumb I used to teach trainees for the hot  lines
was  "No  more  than  three yes-buts allowed.".  If you offer someone three
suggestions and they respond with "Yes, but  ..."  to  each  one  then  you
politely apologize for having nothing to help them and HANG UP.  Continuing
to talk to them after that point (and they can go  on  for  *hours*)  is  a
waste  of your time and damaging to their psychological health.  You're not
helping them and you're encouraging their dependency  on  an  inappropriate
resource.

Several articles have suggested that Jeff is treating the net as an  SO  or
enjoying the yes-but games on the net.  I think a better way to describe it
is that Jeff is ADDICTED to  the  net.  We  have  become  an  inappropriate
resource  for  him.  (Actually,  I'm not sure that this sort of "therapy by
consensus"  is  appropriate  for  anyone,  but  that's  another   subject.)
Certainly  he's had far more than his three yes-buts.  I'm afraid it's time
to hang up.

Jeff, if you're reading this, I'm sorry, but it's apparent that no one here
has  a solution for you.  Maybe your problems really are as hopeless as you
think.  Unless you have any positive suggestions I'm going  to  'n'  on  to
other things and I suggest that everyone else do the same.

-- 
==============================================================================
   ... sitting in a pile of junk on the runway, wondering what happened ...

The Polymath (Jerry Hollombe)
Citicorp TTI                               If thy CRT offend thee, pluck
3100 Ocean Park Blvd.                      it out and cast it from thee.
Santa Monica, California  90405
(213) 450-9111, ext. 2483
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