Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83 based; site homxa.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxj!houxm!homxa!carson
From: carson@homxa.UUCP (P.CARSTENSEN)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: What now?  (Depressed ramblings)
Message-ID: <620@homxa.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 14-Jan-85 17:59:54 EST
Article-I.D.: homxa.620
Posted: Mon Jan 14 17:59:54 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 15-Jan-85 02:27:43 EST
References: <263@boulder.UUCP>, <1328@hao.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ
Lines: 15

Umm, it's ok to talk about just picking oneself up from a long-term
relationship and starting over, giving someone who is currently 
feeling rejected and unloveable a tough talk on quitting feeling
sorry about the past (Note the deft avoidance of he/she *grin*)
But I for one think that jumping over a period of mourning--
ramrodding yourself through that step, whatever--is a mistake that
you pay for in the end....I guess I think of being in love (or love,
I dunno which, for the record I have a VERY hard time saying "I love
you" because I internally equate it with a demanding sort of "I need
you" which I don't much like) is like the pictures they show in
third grade science books of magnetism--with all the little magnetic
particles lined up one way by the being-ness of the beloved....and
if and when the beloved goes away, you should allow yourself time
for all those little particles to return to random order, before you
get them lined up for someone else,