Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site loral.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!sdcsvax!sdcc6!loral!jlh From: jlh@loral.UUCP (Aiken Drum) Newsgroups: net.flame Subject: long live lawyers -:) Message-ID: <748@loral.UUCP> Date: Mon, 14-Jan-85 17:35:38 EST Article-I.D.: loral.748 Posted: Mon Jan 14 17:35:38 1985 Date-Received: Thu, 17-Jan-85 13:14:43 EST Distribution: net Organization: The Many Coloured Cubicle Lines: 105 (use RAID, kills bugs fast) Do we really need lawyers? Following are some examples of where our legal profession is heading today. The opinions expressed below may or may not be my own, I'm making a point about lawyers, not Nuclear power or the death penalty. 1) Nuclear power - The legal profession is bringing the nuclear power industry to it's knees not by winning legal battles, but by filing brief after brief, forcing the companies to spend megabucks to defend themselves. The courts seem to keep deciding in favor of nuclear power, but before a plant can start to generate power lawyers are doing their best to delay it. 2) Capitol punishment - It's next to impoossible to execute a condemmed killer in this country. It makes no difference how many courts and judges say the execution can take place, all the lawyers need to do is find 1 judge to issue a restraining order. Is this right? 3) On 60 minutes last night there was a story about a man whom the IRS decided was selling illegal tax shelters. This man had consulted with a couple of attorneys and they said his shelters were perfectly legal. The man went to court with something like 24 inditements against him, in 1/2 day the judge dismissed all but 1 saying he wasn't breaking any laws. How much did this man spend defending himself? 3.75 MILLION bucks!! Note this man was innocent of all he was accused of from day one, but to prove it cost him his buisness and reputation. 4) A couple of weeks ago a major drug company quit making a vaccine for a disease, I think it was whooping cough, because they were spending more money on lawsuits than they were making selling the vaccine. Note that something like 25% of children will get whooping cough without the vaccine, and around 2 or 3 out of 1000 will suffer side effects from the vaccine. So what do lawyers do? They file suit against the company that made the vaccine on behalf of the 2-3 kids who suffer side effects. Obviously, if a kid gets whooping cough the lawyer can't sue mother nature, but if a kid has a bad reacion to the vaccine they can take the company that made it to the cleaners. There is now 1 company in the US who makes the vaccine, and they are thinking of quitting because they have more money tied up defending themselves against legal suits that they will GROSS selling vaccine. I think all kids who get whooping cough should sue the lawyers who sued the companies that made the vaccine. 5) Stacy Keach (Mike Hammer to you TV addicts) was busted a few months ago smuggling cocaine thru London's Heathrow (sp?) airport. He went to British court a few weeks ago, was found guilty, and immediatly went to prison for 9 months. No appeals, no bail, no plea bargoning, no nothing. If he had been busted in this country he would still be free while his lawyers appealed the conviction, filed breifs, asked for mistrials, etc. Over here he probably never would have gone to jail. In this country, the longer a lawyer can stretch a case out the more money he makes. Thats why lawyers files so many breifs, ask for extensions, file for mistrials, etc. If they were paid a set amount to defend a client, no matter how long the case was, I bet cases would end a lot sooner. 6) There was another story in Sunday's paper about a land developer back east (Maine, I think) who wanted to build a housing development. The local citizens didn't like it so they pressured the committe in charge of approving such things to turn down the developer's permit requests. Well, they won so what does the developer do? He filed suit against all the people who lobbied against him charging them with libel. It was calculated that just to go to court and get the suit thrown out on the first day would cost all the people being sued around $700 each. Just because they didn't like the housing development being proposed in their neighborhood and asked the council not to approve it?? What ever happened to free speach? 7) Bernie Goetz (you know, the "subway vigilante") said that he was mugged a few years ago. The police caught the guilty party and took him to the station, where he was kept 2-3 hours then released. Bernie was kept at the station over 6 hours!! Is this fair? 8) Every year in this country more people pass the bar exams to be a lawyer than there are lawyers in Japan. Is the reason we are fouled up so much due to all these lawyers needing somebody to sue so they can get paid? So there you have it people. Am I alone in thinking lawyers are fouling things up more than they are fixing them? As for what to do with all those lawyers out there, here is my suggestion. +-------x-----+ | | | | | /MMM\ | M x.x M | \ o / | "=" | /^V*V^\ | || || | ||/\/|| | ||===|| | () v () | | | | | | | | | | | | | (###"###) | vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvIvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv Brought to you by the assotiation of retired wombats.