Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site decwrl.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!sdcsvax!dcdwest!ittvax!decvax!decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-rex!merrill From: merrill@rex.DEC Newsgroups: net.kids Subject: discipline Message-ID: <116@decwrl.UUCP> Date: Fri, 4-Jan-85 08:34:13 EST Article-I.D.: decwrl.116 Posted: Fri Jan 4 08:34:13 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 7-Jan-85 03:31:21 EST Sender: daemon@decwrl.UUCP Organization: DEC Engineering Network Lines: 30 The word "discipline" comes from "disciple" which is a good guide to parents that "discipling" involves many forms of examples as well as occasional consequences (disciplining). My method that I've used successfully with 4 of 5 kids is this: after two or three years of age before which we never spank them, they each begin to show their defiance of parental authority. Often this takes the form of delaying tactics or simplying ignoring parental cajoling. This can get really agrivating to said parent! Rather than "bust 'em" right then and there, I say "I really mean what I am about to say. If I count to three and you have not done ____ ___ ____ then I shall spank you." Now MY word is on the line, so I'm not going to count so fast as to make it impossible, but if there is no action, I count! ** With the first 4 I only EVER got to three ONCE! ** Really! Thereafter they know that I mean it and yet will give them a fair chance to comply. With the last one however, when I thought her time had come the others wanter to protect her from my (three hard swats -- they made it sound like a federal case) that they Begged her to comply! And she has ever since. Now, realize that this is for "blatant defiance". ( I confess to giving each approx. one more spanking for unsupervised misdeeds. ) And I do have to get as high as "two" on occasion! The thing I like about this approach is that it proves you mean what you say; it gives the child/children feedback on How Quickly to move; and it keeps me calm! I can stay calm because I know it works and because I know it makes the situation clear. [oops! replace numbers "4" and "5" with "3" and "4"! #5 is only 6wks!]