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From: ktw@whuxi.UUCP (WOLMAN)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: spanking
Message-ID: <247@whuxi.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 7-Jan-85 09:06:50 EST
Article-I.D.: whuxi.247
Posted: Mon Jan  7 09:06:50 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 9-Jan-85 05:51:33 EST
References: <286@ho95b.UUCP> <858@amdahl.UUCP>, <859@amdahl.UUCP>
Organization: Bell Labs, Whippany, N.J.
Lines: 29

There are things far worse than the occasional open palm applied
to the rear end.  In my house, spankings are rare, and are 
delivered for only two reasons: 1) impressing on our sons that
a physical danger attaches to certain activities, e.g., putting
one's fingers in a light socket, stepping off the curb into 
traffic without looking, etc.  (I know, cover the sockets, and
we did that, but there are tons of household dangers you can't
protect against except to warn); and 2) outright verbal and/or
physical disrespect of our persons by our children.  The latter
these days is far more likely to generate a swat that the former.

When I am forced to spank, I do so quickly.  I do not yell at the
kids at that point, and try not to express or show anger in such a
way that their SELF-WORTH is compromised.  I grew up in a home in
which the chief weapon of discipline was contempt; it was far more
wounding than a spanking.  Thus, immediately afterwards I try to
hug the child in question and explain--if he's listening at that
point--why he "got it."  I have never had a situation where a
grudge was carried for more than five minutes.  Spanking is a 
"last resort."  But it is one that can be effective is used
judiciously, without spiritual malice, and at the right time.

Obviously, there is much more that can be said, and I'm sure it
will be.


Ken Wolman
Bellcore @ Livingston
[now at] lcuxc!kenw