Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site ucla-cs.ARPA Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!bellcore!decvax!ittvax!dcdwest!sdcsvax!sdcrdcf!trwrb!trwrba!cepu!ucla-cs!phil From: phil@ucla-cs.UUCP Newsgroups: net.kids Subject: Re: Siblings during birth Message-ID: <3060@ucla-cs.ARPA> Date: Fri, 4-Jan-85 08:33:58 EST Article-I.D.: ucla-cs.3060 Posted: Fri Jan 4 08:33:58 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 7-Jan-85 02:39:35 EST References: <1216@linus.UUCP> <77@tove.UUCP> Reply-To: phil@ucla-cs.UUCP (Phil Gartenberg) Organization: UCLA Computer Science Department Lines: 49 Keywords: home birth, siblings at birth Summary: Concerning children at home births, I have experince and a couple of comments. Having helped delivered two of my three children at home, we have also had the opportunity to have our older child(ren) present at out younger children's births. We were definitely in favor of having Shiri-li, who was 2 years old at the time of Zeev's birth, present at Zeev's birth. We were told that this was a very good experience for siblings, and even though a bit scary, it was possible to prepare children for the birth experience. We followed all the advice we were given, talking about the birth, taking her to see slides and movies of births and everything seemed very good. We had a special friend, whom she felt very comfortable with, present so she could have his undivided attention. Everything went very well through the first stage. She gave her mother ice chips and wandered in and out very excited about what was going on. However, when my wife went into transition and very active labor, she got very frightened. Our friend was with her all the time and she insisted on being next to her mother, which she was able to do (it was very crowded, my wife, a midwife, an assitant, Shiri-li, and our friend all crowded about a bed). I do feel she was traumatized by the exprience. The reason I am writing this message is because I felt we were misled into thinking it was no problem for a two year old to observe her mother in labor. I have been at a number of other births where older siblings were present and very invovled. It was a beautiful experience for all. In fact, I also know of another two year old who observed her sister's birth and she didn't have any of the overt expressions of fear and anxiety that my daughter exhibited. At the second home birth, Shiri-li and Zeev (aged 4 and 2) were asleep during most of the labor. My parents came over to take them to their house at 8:30 am, which was about an hour or less before the birth. Before they left, they came to our room and spoke with their mother about the baby. They saw her going through a relatively mild contraction and Zeev was very excited. Shiri-li seemed to still be asleep (I wouldn't doubt that it was intentional). They came back an hour and a half later and were both full of excitement. They were able to touch the baby and sit next to their mother. They really loved that. To sum it up, we have found that having young siblings actually observing the birth is an issue that one must consider very seriously. However, being able to see mom and the new baby soon after made them feel secure that mom was alright and that the baby was safe. I felt that was definitely worthwhile. Mom certainly loved it! Phil (Pinchas) No Longer Tenured Graduate Student Mathematics Department UCLA ARPA: phil @ ucla-cs.arpa UUCP: {cepu,ihnp4,randvax,sdcrdcf,trwspp,ucbvax,ucivax,muddcs}!ucla-cs!phil