Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84 SMI; site sun.uucp Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!bellcore!decvax!decwrl!sun!sunny From: sunny@sun.uucp Newsgroups: net.women,net.singles Subject: Re: recent (beastly) articles Message-ID: <1913@sun.uucp> Date: Thu, 3-Jan-85 00:33:52 EST Article-I.D.: sun.1913 Posted: Thu Jan 3 00:33:52 1985 Date-Received: Fri, 4-Jan-85 08:06:07 EST References: <282@sftri.UUCP> <1894@sun.uucp> <2215@randvax.UUCP> Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc. Lines: 83 Xref: watmath net.women:3957 net.singles:5182 > I think [the problem] is the [] self-concious nature of the > American psyche: our intense obsession with ``self-image'', and with such > self-centered emotions as guilt, greed, and vengence. > I think that a ``crisis of the will'' exists in both sexes. > Yes, there is too much focus on "self-image" (how we manipulate how others see us) rather than focus on self (postive, life-enhancing vs guilt, greed...) I think the crisis is in knowing self in the first place, the power base needed to have a will to assert. > > It isn't so much that people need to ``get in touch'' with a particular > part of themselves--such inward direction is already over-indulged in. > Are we really overindulging in self awareness, or merely in making the motions of pretending to become self aware? > > Perceptions and actions are already far too colored by self-expectations > and rationalizations. We insist on being ``in control'' (a good part of > the evil side of the male role manifests itself here) so that our selves > can be pushed and manipulated into what we think they should be. > I think the point would be to become a new person, rather than to be the old person continually aware of what the person wants to be instead. Again, this evidences making the motions of self awareness/ self actualization, without really accomplishing a real and lasting change of self, merely a veneer of "supposed to" laid on top of another reality. > > If we now start thinking there is a ``hairy beast'' inside, we're sure to > find it--or create it. We've objectified ourselves: we've become objects. > And objects are meant to be manipulated. > A standard die has six sides. We can look only at the "face" on top, and conclude it is an object which represents that number. Or we may look around it and see a total of 5 sides, and conclude it represents 5 numbers, or 5 pieces of a whole. Or we can look under it and find another face alltogether. The point is not to objectify our pieces, but to use the techniques of extraction and synthesis in an evolutionary process of change. Having seen all six sides of a die we may conclude it represents the integers from 1 to 6. Knowing why one would want to represent those integers is yet another level of understanding when one examines a die. Knowing oneself is equally a complicated puzzle, and so easily distracted by not having seen all the sides, or by accepting other peoples "knowledge" as the truth, and external definition of what one is, or ought to be. > > What is the result of all this, of this self-divided-against-itself? > Paralysis of the will. If I spend all my effort trying to will myself > into that person I ``know'' I am, how much is left to will action > outside of myself? Especially if that action is so strongly inter- > twined with my self-image. And since my reign on my actions and > perceptions is only so strong, what happens when they get away from > me? Self-restraint has all been concentrated in one place. > I agree that it is a waste of time and energy to be divided. But that was not the goal I had in mind. The point is to know all facets of oneself, and to change the substance of oneself, rather than to cover it up with an unreal self-image projected outward, and trying to make others believe in that. Then there will be no self divided into "is" vs "should-be", but instead a new person, whose self image is merely having looked in the mirror, rather than a madison-ave projection. The trick is to find the mirror which will show you all your sides, and the realities you don't want to see. Other people can give you some feedback, but only true introspection will help you find yourself. There is very little time for that in modern life. Holidays and vacations are too often filled with other people, escape, and entertainment, rather than isolation and true introspection. Anyone can go to a "drive-thru" mirror (workshop, etc) and convince themselves they've actually accomplished some introspection for their money, but true self realization is a life-long process of evolution, not a set of new-years resolutions which suddenly make you better just because December became January. The kind of awareness of the hairy beast I spoke of is that born of true introspection and work, not the self-divided-against-self new-years-resolution. It's a lot like dieting. You can "go on a diet" until you lose 10 lbs, and then go back to normal life and wonder why the extra pounds keep finding your midriff. Or you can work on a long term change in your eating habits until you are a new person, with new eating habits. Then you lose the weight and keep it off. Getting the hairy beast under control in a manner which channels its energy into positive constructive society enhancing activity is like the long term change in eating habits, it's a long term change in life/ social habits, not a superficial, "I'll try to be good" attitude such as the one you mentioned. You're right, the kind you mentioned won't work. never has. Sunny -- {ucbvax,decvax,ihnp4}!sun!sunny