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From: malik@helos.DEC (Karl Malik ZK01-1/F22 1-1440)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: rings
Message-ID: <182@decwrl.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 11-Jan-85 11:49:14 EST
Article-I.D.: decwrl.182
Posted: Fri Jan 11 11:49:14 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 17-Jan-85 13:08:01 EST
Sender: daemon@decwrl.UUCP
Organization: DEC Engineering Network
Lines: 37

Helen Anne said (re; rings) -

>"Sometimes I just want to protect myself from pestering morons who feel 
>the need to obnoxiously "hit" on any available female (e.g., going out 
>for a drink at a bar with a girlfriend).  For these people to see a ring 
>on someone's finger leads them to think something along the lines of "she's 
>already taken; why bother?" and thus eliminates for me the potential for 
>harassment (or at least reduces it)." 

Completely understandable.

>"Second, any man who *won't* talk to me because he thinks I'm married, 
>engaged, or whatever isn't worth my time:  if he cannot see me as a friend, 
>but only as a potential person with whom he can go farther (I decline to 
>specify a degree of "going farther"), I don't need him as a friend, either.  
>A real friend won't be put off by the probability that the relationship will 
>not go farther than "just" a friendship."

Here I disagree. The wearing of rings can mean many things, but the meaning
stated in the first paragraph is generally accepted by most men (morons and
otherwise).

Even if my interest in purely platonic, I would think twice about initiating
a conversation. After all, WHY are you wearing that ring?  You are making
a public statement about your marital status. It didn't just come up in
casual conversation. 

What this actually means in terms of our being friends is unknown. Perhaps,
we could be great friends, go out to lunch occasionally, take in an art
opening, or perhaps I'll say 'hi' and your husband will break my nose. All
I know is that you have your defenses up; it gives me pause for thought.

Summary: I suspect that wearing rings as a defense against unwanted atten-
tion also serves to discourage many potential friends.


							- karl