Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site amdahl.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!bellcore!decvax!decwrl!sun!amdahl!dwl10 From: dwl10@amdahl.UUCP (Dave Lowrey) Newsgroups: net.kids Subject: Re: How to discipline short of spanking Message-ID: <858@amdahl.UUCP> Date: Fri, 4-Jan-85 09:53:34 EST Article-I.D.: amdahl.858 Posted: Fri Jan 4 09:53:34 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 6-Jan-85 00:04:21 EST References: <286@ho95b.UUCP> Organization: Amdahl Corporation, Columbia MD Lines: 54 > > We've been told by many people that a good spanking is what she needs. > But the couple of times we've reluctantly done so, she tells us, > "Don't hit me. You shouldn't hit me!" which is precisely what we tell > her when she hits us. It's tough to argue with that. > When my wife and I had our son, Adam, we had two things we were NEVER going to do. One was to use a pacifier(sp?) and the other was to spank him. Well, we didn't use the pacifier. Adam borders on the hyperactive. He started the "terrible twos" at age 1&1/2 and is now just starting to get "under controll" at age four. We finally have to break down and spank him on occasions. When we do, we try to let him know that he is being punished, and why. I think this only serves to relieve our guilt, but it also gives us time to think before we hit him. After a while, the threat of a spanking was usually enough to get the desired results. We say "If you dont XXXXX by the count of three, I will have to punish you ONE (he ignores us), TWO (he starts to try to justify his actions, or to start begging), THREE! (8 times out of 10, he will go do, or stop doing whatever it was we wanted). I often wonder if I am doing the right thing, as when I was a child, I lied alot to avoid being spanked. But this has been the only method of controlling him at times. Your other problem seems to be that you are trying to reason with a two year old. This only works in favor of the child! An example: Me: Do good boys do XXXXX? Adam: No. Me: Did you do XXXXX? Adam: Yes. Me: Are you a good boy? Adam: Yes. On the nap and sleeping situation...We finally had to give up on naps. It became so much work and screaming and fighting to get him to nap, that we just said forget it. He still needs one alot of times, so my wife will do her shopping, etc in the afternoon and Adam will often fall asleep in the car (hopefully on the way home). All I can say is hang in there! It does get better. -- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Dave Lowrey "GORT...Klatu borada niktow" ...!{nsc,sun,hplabs,ihnp4}!amdahl!dwl10 [ The opinions expressedbe those of the author and not necessarily those of his most eminent employer. ]