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From: dubois@uwmacc.UUCP (Paul DuBois)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: Spanking
Message-ID: <666@uwmacc.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 14-Jan-85 17:41:33 EST
Article-I.D.: uwmacc.666
Posted: Mon Jan 14 17:41:33 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 17-Jan-85 03:43:43 EST
References: <112@decwrl.UUCP>
Organization: UW-Madison Primate Center
Lines: 30

> [Ken Arndt]
> I can only tell you what has worked for me.  I have spanked upon occasion
> so that they know that I WILL if needed.  It is the kiss of death to SAY
> you will and then don't.  And kids will call you!  Try (I can't always)

Right you are.  Kids want consistency.  They don't want baloney.
Which is what we as parents are giving them if we say we're going
to do something and then don't do it.  We're not doing them any
favors by giving them such a bad example.  We might think we're
being nice to them, but we're training them that they can say one
thing and do another (and we expect them to keep *their* word,
right?).

> not to spank when angry.  Set the pace of the escalation yourself.  Spank
> up front BEFORE you get all out of sorts with the kid.  (It's hard!)

Right again.  One thing that's important is not to get to the state
where you're threatening the child with a spanking if they don't obey.
Disobedience should be met with discipline immediately.  Why?
Because if the child obeys only after receiving a threat, you're
training him to obey THREATS, and not to recognize your authority.
There's a difference.  Discipline is a method for enforcement of
authority (yours), not a bargaining tool.  Otherwise, they'll drag
it out longer and longer, to see how long before you break.
-- 
Paul DuBois	  {allegra,ihnp4,seismo}!uwvax!uwmacc!dubois
								    |
"And the streets shall be full of boys and girls playing	  --+--
in the streets thereof..."					    |
				Zechariah 8:5			    |