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From: bandy@lll-crg.ARPA (Andrew Scott Beals)
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: net.flame seems pretty dim to me
Message-ID: <344@lll-crg.ARPA>
Date: Sun, 30-Dec-84 21:15:18 EST
Article-I.D.: lll-crg.344
Posted: Sun Dec 30 21:15:18 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 13-Jan-85 07:59:10 EST
Distribution: net
Organization: Lawrence Livermore Labs, CRG group
Lines: 74

Well, today was the big day - I caught up with all my back netnews.

I was suprised by the lucidness on some groups and greatly disapointed
by others.

This newsgroup is the one that most disapoints me.

I'm sorry folks, but it seems that net.flame would be more appropriately named
"net.ad-hominem-attacks" (please pardon the possible spelling error). Not only
are your flames not too bright, they're not really all that funny. I submit
to you something that I wrote a number of months ago at the end of a very
long night:



Date: Sun 15 Apr 84 10:07:04-EST
From: Andrew Scott Beals 
Subject: Re: "where are all the nice guys?"

In-Reply-To: Message from "Cynthia A. Norman " of Sun 8 Apr 84 00:33:09-EST

    Date: Sunday, 8 April 1984, 00:33-EST
    From: Cynthia A. Norman 

    What is it with you crazy heterosexuals anyway?

    Cyndi

What is it with us crazy heterosexuals? Well, Missy Norman (I don't
know nuttin 'bout birthin babies), let me tell you a thing or two. Why
when I was last down on the farm... (sorry, got carried away) Us crazy
heterosexual >males< have this drive, this drive for unmitigated, 24
hour manly fufillment of our sexual needs. What do we need for for
this? Do we need ``sensitivity''? Do we need ``kindness''? Do we need
``relationships''? No! We need Real Women. Women who won't give us
shit for not giving them an orgasm. Women who won't give us shit for
our dirty fingernails. Women who won't make us eat with knives and
forks when we visit her grandparents. What we need are women who don't
say things like ``Well, Harry Foobar bought HIS wife a 5 caret
DIAMOND! Now, doesn't that give you an idea?'' What we REALLY NEED are
women who say ``Baaaaa''!!! Ahhhh...

Their fleece is soft, their warm bleating mouths never complain, and
best of all, they don't have a brain in their head! Ah yes, the joy of
a good fu*k and then, after the slaughter, a superb leg of lamb! There
is nothing that can compare to the combination of carnal and
carnivorous pleasure. To know that that mouth watering dish once made
your mouth water in quite a different way. Oh joy, oh rapture
unforseen, oh what pleasure satisfying your animalistic urges with an
animal brings! Their eyes so deep, their teeth so bright, their
breasts so many! I am now freed of the bonds that once tied me to an
existence of art galleries, folk music, and bad feminist poetry!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Give me a sheep,
It tastes better than you!

Tongue planted firmly in [ ],
	andy


----------------------------------------------------------------

Standard disclaimer: This has nothing whatsoever to do with anything that
even remotely resembles anyone's opinion. I suspect that it is actually
MIT-OZ's opinion because I don't remember typing it in.

Currently entombed in the wilds of southern "New Hampsha",
	andy beals

BelTel:	(603) 497-2145			ARPA: Bandy@{gluteus,mit-prep}
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