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From: paulb@hcrvx1.UUCP (Paul Bonneau)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social
Subject: Re: friendships with SO's
Message-ID: <1043@hcrvx1.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 17-Dec-84 20:48:23 EST
Article-I.D.: hcrvx1.1043
Posted: Mon Dec 17 20:48:23 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 18-Dec-84 01:35:36 EST
References: <344@hercules.UUCP> <608@rayssd.UUCP> <2551@sdcc3.UUCP>
Organization: Human Computing Resources, Toronto
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> Now for the sad part. In the past two or three months I have witnessed
> several breakups. In about 90% of them there is no more contact between
> the two people who were once so close. Is it really possible to break
> off a relationship like that without remebering all the wonderful things
> that happened between two people? Or is it that I'm expecting people to
> develop something deeper than a mere physical attraction when they start
> "going out"?

> Obviously it's possible to continue a relationship after a relationship.
> What I'd like to know is why it is so rare, and why people don't try to
> do it more often.

I don't really know if the good memories make any difference or not.  Like you,
my SO and I parted ways recently.  Unlike you, contact between the two of us
has been very infrequent since then.

I can easily remember the good times (I probably do it too much for my own
good); there was much more than just physical attraction.  However, the feeling
between the two of us is that there is NO chance of getting the relationship
back, and seeing each other is simply too painful.  I imagine that this is
quite common in relationships that were originally very close.

I have broken up with SO's before and remained a friend, but that is usually
after the relationship simply looses steam, and our interests drift apart.
When the separation is more tumultuous, the pain is much greater, and it may be
simple (mental) self-preservation which keeps the couple apart afterwards.
-- 
I'm a man!  I'm not a horse!		Paul Bonneau
					{decvax|ihnp4|watmath}!hcr!hcrvax