Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site decwrl.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!sdcsvax!dcdwest!ittvax!decvax!decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-koala!robins From: robins@koala.DEC (Life is like an analogy) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: SARJokes Thursday, Dec 13th, 1984 Message-ID: <257@decwrl.UUCP> Date: Thu, 13-Dec-84 17:09:33 EST Article-I.D.: decwrl.257 Posted: Thu Dec 13 17:09:33 1984 Date-Received: Sat, 15-Dec-84 03:03:35 EST Sender: daemon@decwrl.UUCP Organization: DEC Engineering Network Lines: 58 These two polish wineos were walking down the street. One of them looks down and sees a dollar bill, picks it up and says, "Com' on, let's go to the soup kitchen , fill up on a good home cooked meal and then spend the rest of the money on a good bottle of wine ! " His friend rips the dollar out of his hand and says, "I' ll be in charge of this dollar. I'm going to make it stretch for everything we can get. We're going to have a great time. I'll be like we're on vacation !!" So these guys walk down the street a bit and finally they get to a drug store. The finance manager says, "You wait here, I'll be right out." He later comes out with a big smile and holds out a bag for his friends approval. His friend looks in the bag and says, "What the hell are we going to do with TAMPONS !!" To which the other replied, "Are you kidding ?? Just read on the box, you can go Horseback riding, play tennis, go swiming........ ---------- another variation on the meaning of aids... ass is diseased, sorry! ---------- During a marriage guidance session the wife suddenly becomes angry. "That's just not true," she snaps at the husband, "I do enjoy sex." Then turning to the counsellor, she complains: "It's just that this maniac here wants it three or four times a year!" ---------- A couple are interrupted in the middle of a passionate session by the telephone ringing. The woman sighs, gets out of bed, answers the phone, and returns a couple of minutes later. "That was my husband," she mubbles, snuggling up against the man. "Oh God,"groans the lover, "he's not coming back early is he ?" "Oh no," says the woman, "he'll be out late playing poker with you and a couple of other blokes." ---------- Mr. and Mrs. Wong rushed to the hospital where Mrs. Wong was delivered of a 9-pound totally white baby. Mr. Wong stood outside the nursery window, shaking his head sadly. "It must have been the milkman," he concluded. "Two Wongs don't make a white." ---------- Harry, who grew up in Philadelphia, was making his first visit to England. One night he spotted a ravishing young redhead in a pub, walked over to her and stated conversationally, "You know, I come from the other side..." "Let's go right to my flat," she exclaimed, "this I gotta see." ---------- Did you hear about the French girl who came to the United States but soon returned home? She missed her native tongue. ---------- Hilda was very worried because she had two green spots between her legs. She became so upset she finally went to a doctor who examined her thoroughly. "Madam," said the physician, "it is obvious you are married to a gypsy." "That's right, "replied the woman. "Well," said the doctor, "you'd better tell your husband his earrings aren't made of gold. ---------- A street corner violinist heard a grunt and turned to see two dogs screwing. The one on top turned said to him, "Well, don't just stand there - play BOLERO." ---------- Is poon tangy? Does a proctologist use a rear-view mirror? Does a gynecologist spread old wives' tails? Thu 13-Dec-1984 16:56 Never eat anything bigger than your head