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From: fritzz@sdcc3.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social
Subject: Friendship after SOship
Message-ID: <2569@sdcc3.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 19-Dec-84 13:32:28 EST
Article-I.D.: sdcc3.2569
Posted: Wed Dec 19 13:32:28 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 21-Dec-84 00:50:43 EST
References: <344@hercules.UUCP> <608@rayssd.UUCP> <2551@sdcc3.UUCP> <133@sdcc12.UUCP>
Reply-To: fritzz@sdcc3.UUCP (Flippin' fritzz)
Organization: UCSD Brain Damage Control
Lines: 54
Xref: watmath net.singles:5016 net.social:370
Summary: 

> Well, what if someone whom you used to think was an absolute jerk became 
>your SO?  Did you change or did the other person change?  What do you tell 
>your friends, or should you drop them all and make a new set of friends?

This isn't what I meant... A lot of times people don't break up because
the other person is a jerk (I know, a lot of times they do, but I'm
picking a specific case). Nevertheless, they end up treating each other
like they never existed. I have gotten a bit of mail in response to my
earlier article, and it seems the primary explanation is pain: most
people are hurt so much by the presence of their earlier SO that they
can't stand being around them. It also seems that a lot of people
managed to get over their pain and reestablish the friendship. (Most of
these people felt they were the exception, though.) I guess I already
knew the answer to the question, it was actually rather rhetorical on my
part. I just find it very sad that so much caring can go down the tubes
so quickly.
>
>Frieder, you are a saint, and I am merely a sinner.  You are also an idealist.
Hee hee. Idealist, yes. Everything else is hogwash. If I was a saint,
I wouldn't be working here =). Seriously, everybody's sarcasm aside, 
I screw up just as well as anybody else I know, sometimes intentionally. 
It's just that I always want people to be happy, and it hurts me when
they aren't.
>Look around at what's happening in the world today!  A lot of people just
>get together so they won't be alone, or so that they will have a warm body to
>show off to everyone else, or for someone to help them on their homework, or
>so that they can relieve their physical urges, etc.  Not everyone CARES about
>the "relationship" part of a relationship.  Sad, but true.  And it's these
>type of people who don't continue friendships once the romance is over.  These
>are the people who go "Oh, I love you, I really care for you, ad nauseum",
>and then just look right through you as they walk by when it's all over.  
>Real friends will still care even after the passion has turned to cold ashes.
>The love just isn't as concentrated, but it's still there.  You know that.

Bullseye.

>For myself, I would take a known friend over someone who would "look good by my
>side" if I were considering a relationship of that sort.  (Of course, flings
>are another story entirely, right?  But I tend to not form an immediate 
>attraction to anybody while I'm at the buffet line during Happy Hour at Carlos
>Murphy's.)  However, I am not, so this has just been a lot of hot air anyway.

Oh yeah? I've seen you at work at Carlos Murphy's =)
Back to seriousness, if everybody preferred a good friendship over
someone that would improve their public image, I think this world would
be a much nicer place to live. Now that I've provided enough hot air of
my own I think I'll just get in the balloon and float away......
-- 
ihnp4--\                                        fritzz the Zebra
decvax--\	
akgua----\	"What else do you do for fun?"
dcdwest---\	"I go to funerals."
kgbvax-----\	
ucbvax-------- sdcsvax -- sdcc3 -- fritzz