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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!CS-Mordred!Pucc-H:aeq
From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: extra spur
Message-ID: <1570@pucc-h>
Date: Wed, 19-Dec-84 00:48:56 EST
Article-I.D.: pucc-h.1570
Posted: Wed Dec 19 00:48:56 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 18-Dec-84 07:18:55 EST
Organization: my terminal
Lines: 27

I have discovered one reason why I, and probably a good many other people, have
felt such a pressing need for an SO.  The reason is that we need to feel that
we belong.  This gets mixed up with the natural desire for a special one and
adds a lot of pain to it that doesn't really belong with it at all.  I suspect
that if painfully desirous people had a group of friends where they really felt
that they belonged, that they were thoroughly accepted, that they didn't have
to put up nice fronts for all the time, that they could contact any time they
needed to talk, that they could safely share their struggles with, then the
cutting edge would be taken off the desire for an SO -- since an SO is the
quintessence of all those characteristics.  (Unfortunately many of us work not
with an SO, but with an OS, which is entirely the opposite! [not really :-)])

I could mention that net.singles used to be a group where I felt, more or less,
that I belonged, in the above sense.

Someone will undoubtedly say, "You're a Christian; why don't you get involved
with a church?"  I could also comment that, alas, most churches (as far as I
can tell) don't provide this sense of belonging.  My above comment about
putting up nice fronts was prompted by this idea.  It would be nice to find a
church where, even on Sunday morning, I wouldn't have to put on a nice
expression whether or not I feel nice.  I strongly suspect that they are few
and far between; anyone have any experience to the contrary?

-- 
-- Jeff Sargent
{decvax|harpo|ihnp4|inuxc|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq
Jesus has creched the devil's system.