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From: sunny@sun.uucp
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: The Start of Something New (I hope)
Message-ID: <1889@sun.uucp>
Date: Wed, 19-Dec-84 19:14:06 EST
Article-I.D.: sun.1889
Posted: Wed Dec 19 19:14:06 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 21-Dec-84 01:00:22 EST
References: <2743@ncsu.UUCP> <1567@pucc-h>
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
Lines: 27

> I have long since learned NOT to rely on myself; I mess up too often.  (At
> least in matters of relating to other people, particularly unattached women.)
> Particularly do I not dare to rely on my feelings, except to use them as
> clues to finding out what really ails me.  Many times have I found, too late,
> that my attraction to a particular woman had some other, usually pretty mucked
> up, feelings mixed up with it; usually it was obvious to the woman that
> something was wrong with this guy, and she bounced me quick -- and it was not
> till I analyzed the wreckage that I realized what I had really wanted.  Common
> sense dictates the opposite of what everyone in this newsgroup will say; i.e.
> while the consensus of this newsgroup is "Go for it" in almost any situation,
> my common-sense approach is "Once burned, twice shy" -- i.e. better to be
> bearably lonely than to risk yet another such rejection and be unbearably
> lonely -- especially since I'm near the dividing line already.

Perhaps what you "Go for" is the problem.  I obviously don't know what you're
going for, but an example:  If you approach a woman and ask her to go to bed,
you may rarely get what you want, and otherwise will find near total rejection
and total loneliness.  If, on the other hand, you approach her not as a sex
object but as a person, who also might be lonely, and simply try to share with
her the joy in your life, you may find a friend, and not be lonely.  If you
approach with needs, you're more likely to be rejected than if you approach
with something to offer, like evidence that you enjoy life, and that being
with you is likely to be an enjoyable time.

				Sunny
-- 
{ucbvax,decvax,ihnp4}!sun!sunny