Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83 based; site houxm.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxn!mhuxj!houxm!gregbo
From: gregbo@houxm.UUCP (Greg Skinner)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: How single is single?
Message-ID: <1035@houxm.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 15-Dec-84 11:31:47 EST
Article-I.D.: houxm.1035
Posted: Sat Dec 15 11:31:47 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 16-Dec-84 05:51:43 EST
References: <138@moncol.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ
Lines: 60

> From: john@moncol.UUCP (John Ruschmeyer)

> In article <2505@ihuxf.UUCP>,  aMAZon (ihnp4!ihuxf!features) asked:

>>	Do you think the experience of being single is different
>>for those with SOs and those without?  If so, how?
>>	I would like to throw this up as a rhetorical question.
>>My position is that yes, it is different.  Just as having/not
>>having a roommate makes apartment living different.  From
>>my experience, being single and without an SO can make one really
>>question one's very existence.  Being single and with an SO can
>>hammer home the point about loneliness creeping in at the
>>oddest times.
>>	Is the grass *really* greener on the other side, or does
>>it just seem to be because of all the bull----?
>>

I imagine that it is a different sort of difficulty having an SO than not
having one.  Perhaps you don't have the loneliness, but you have other things,
like wondering if your SO is seeing someone else on the side, or resolving
differences between the two of you, or just the general difficulties in making
a relationship work.

> I definitely have to agree with you. From my experience, I can try to
> make a few statements:

>	  If you do not have a SO, then, if you're like me, you end
>	up doing a lot of soul searching and self-inspecting. Mostly,
>	you wonder if you ever will find that one, true SO.

I do that a lot.  However, I also ask myself "Well, what if I did meet that SO?
How would she change my life?  Would we get married?  Would I be able to fulfill
all my dreams if we did?"  Having another person in your life can really change
your life.  Sometimes being without an SO can be better as you have a chance
to attend to your own needs.  (No, I'm not being selfish.)

>	  Being without an SO can also leave you sometimes with a
>	sense of powerlessness. Without that other person, you
>	sometimes have to carry so much alone.

I agree.  I went through a lot of changes when I moved to NJ, and it was all
the more difficult because I was alone.  I would have appreciated an SO for
support at that time.
 
>	  Ask yourself this question: Have you ever not seen/done
>	something because you have no one to see/do it with? I find
>	that I tend to avoid certain things without an SO to do them
>	with.

Definitely.  I don't go to movies very much, because I don't like going to mo-
vies by myself.  If I had someone to go to movies with, I'd probably see more
movies.  Other things -- I don't like eating dinner (out) alone (well, I guess
in also), and it would be nice to have someone to take a drive in the country
with.
-- 
			Baby tie your hair back in a long white bow ...
			Meet me in the field, behind the dynamo ...

Greg Skinner (gregbo)
{allegra,cbosgd,ihnp4}!houxm!gregbo