Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site pucc-h Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!CS-Mordred!Pucc-H:aeq From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: extra spur Message-ID: <1570@pucc-h> Date: Wed, 19-Dec-84 00:48:56 EST Article-I.D.: pucc-h.1570 Posted: Wed Dec 19 00:48:56 1984 Date-Received: Tue, 18-Dec-84 07:18:55 EST Organization: my terminal Lines: 27 I have discovered one reason why I, and probably a good many other people, have felt such a pressing need for an SO. The reason is that we need to feel that we belong. This gets mixed up with the natural desire for a special one and adds a lot of pain to it that doesn't really belong with it at all. I suspect that if painfully desirous people had a group of friends where they really felt that they belonged, that they were thoroughly accepted, that they didn't have to put up nice fronts for all the time, that they could contact any time they needed to talk, that they could safely share their struggles with, then the cutting edge would be taken off the desire for an SO -- since an SO is the quintessence of all those characteristics. (Unfortunately many of us work not with an SO, but with an OS, which is entirely the opposite! [not really :-)]) I could mention that net.singles used to be a group where I felt, more or less, that I belonged, in the above sense. Someone will undoubtedly say, "You're a Christian; why don't you get involved with a church?" I could also comment that, alas, most churches (as far as I can tell) don't provide this sense of belonging. My above comment about putting up nice fronts was prompted by this idea. It would be nice to find a church where, even on Sunday morning, I wouldn't have to put on a nice expression whether or not I feel nice. I strongly suspect that they are few and far between; anyone have any experience to the contrary? -- -- Jeff Sargent {decvax|harpo|ihnp4|inuxc|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq Jesus has creched the devil's system.