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From: jdh@hou5g.UUCP (Julia Harper)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: crre: crossing streets
Message-ID: <477@hou5g.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 14-Dec-84 10:26:13 EST
Article-I.D.: hou5g.477
Posted: Fri Dec 14 10:26:13 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 15-Dec-84 02:39:59 EST
Organization: AT&T Information Systems Laboratories, Holmdel, NJ
Lines: 70

>
>	It's impractical to expect men in general to cater to your fears.
>I have a better suggestion; better because it's practical, and within
>your power to carry out without cooperation from others: *you* cross
>the street to avoid *him* (wasn't that easy?).

I'm shocked at the responses I've seen to the suggestion of men doing
something to alleviate apprehension in women.  I'm sure we women all
know the option of crossing the street is open to us.  So also is the
option of not going out in the street, or walking angrily toward our
potential assailant/harasser.  These are things we women can do to
protect themselves from harm/harassment on the streets.

But I am suggesting something that you, a man, can do to make the world a
nicer place for a woman -- even a woman you don't know.  This suggestion
was made in good faith.  I don't think it's difficult, I do think it is
a gift that men can give women.  Yet every (just about) response by 
a man has been to tell women that he will do nothing, and that all 
responsibility should lie in her hands.  In the reponses I've seen, men 
are so offended/angered by the suggestion that their presence ever makes a 
woman uncomfortable, that they (revengefully) end up suggesting that women 
must be paranoid...   Remember, this is a street we're talking about.

I can't believe that there aren't any men out there that, knowing
the apprehension women feel about man(men) coming toward them, want to
do something to alleviate that fear.  This is a chance for you, a man,
to do something concrete.  Do this instead of opening doors for women.

>	Constant anger is not much fun, and hard on the body, as well.
>Anger in an actual attack can be helpful, but using anger to ward off
>potential attacks is really just a variant of the "stay indoors"
>solution for rape. It advises you to build walls that reduce your contact
>with a dangerous world. I await better solutions.

You're right, constant anger is NOT much fun, but it's more fun than fear.
Anger DOES ward off potential attacks.  I also await better solutions to
the problems faced by women.  But in the meantime, we must come up with
solutions that we, personally, can implement.  As noted by you earlier,
you are not willing to alleviate our apprehension by even so simple
an action as crossing the street.

I get the feeling you think this apprehension is totally unrealistic,
hysterical, typical of the emotional overreaction to a situation so
typical of women.  You don't seem to understand that the streets are
threatening and dangerous.  Constant cat calls by men to women don't 
improve the situation.  We women are tossed between two lines of 
attack regarding our recognition of this danger.  First, we are told 
that we are paranoid, that our fear is unreasonalbe.  Then, if something
happens, we are told that it was our own fault, that it was something we 
did or didn't do right.  

The way for us women to overcome our fear is NOT to deny it, but to admit
it, confront it, and confront men who make us fearful in situations that
are not life-threatening.  We should bind together.  I am not hysterical.
I am sometimes fearful.  I am not ashamed of being fearful.  I have ways
of dealing with my fear.  I have concrete actions I take to help alleviate
my fear.

It is right and good that women look to themselves for support and actions
to control their own lives.

But my suggestion HERE is something that a MAN can do to improve the 
situation for WOMEN.  If you have a different suggestion about what 
a man can do, please make it.

Again, if you (anyone) has other concrete suggestions as to how a typical
man (a friend of yours) could help make women in general less apprehensive,
please feel free to suggest it.

Julia Harper