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From: paloma@sdcc12.UUCP ({zz1cp)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social
Subject: Re: friendships with SO's
Message-ID: <133@sdcc12.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 18-Dec-84 15:40:47 EST
Article-I.D.: sdcc12.133
Posted: Tue Dec 18 15:40:47 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 21-Dec-84 07:37:54 EST
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Xref: watmath net.singles:5028 net.social:373

> from the keyboard of fritzz the Zebra (sdcc3!fritzz):
> What if your best friend is your SO? 

Well, what if someone whom you used to think was an absolute jerk became 
your SO?  Did you change or did the other person change?  What do you tell 
your friends, or should you drop them all and make a new set of friends?

> Now for the sad part. In the past two or three months I have witnessed
> several breakups. In about 90% of them there is no more contact between
> the two people who were once so close. Is it really possible to break
> off a relationship like that without remebering all the wonderful things
> that happened between two people? Or is it that I'm expecting people to
> develop something deeper than a mere physical attraction when they start
> "going out"?
> Obviously it's possible to continue a relationship after a relationship.
> What I'd like to know is why it is so rare, and why people don't try to
> do it more often.

Frieder, you are a saint, and I am merely a sinner.  You are also an idealist.
Look around at what's happening in the world today!  A lot of people just
get together so they won't be alone, or so that they will have a warm body to
show off to everyone else, or for someone to help them on their homework, or
so that they can relieve their physical urges, etc.  Not everyone CARES about
the "relationship" part of a relationship.  Sad, but true.  And it's these
type of people who don't continue friendships once the romance is over.  These
are the people who go "Oh, I love you, I really care for you, ad nauseum",
and then just look right through you as they walk by when it's all over.  
Real friends will still care even after the passion has turned to cold ashes.
The love just isn't as concentrated, but it's still there.  You know that.

For myself, I would take a known friend over someone who would "look good by my
side" if I were considering a relationship of that sort.  (Of course, flings
are another story entirely, right?  But I tend to not form an immediate 
attraction to anybody while I'm at the buffet line during Happy Hour at Carlos
Murphy's.)  However, I am not, so this has just been a lot of hot air anyway.
I don't feel bad... 98% of net.singles articles are hot air, too!

Cindy