Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site sdcc3.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!bellcore!decvax!ittvax!dcdwest!sdcsvax!sdcc3!fritzz From: fritzz@sdcc3.UUCP Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social Subject: Friendship after SOship Message-ID: <2569@sdcc3.UUCP> Date: Wed, 19-Dec-84 13:32:28 EST Article-I.D.: sdcc3.2569 Posted: Wed Dec 19 13:32:28 1984 Date-Received: Fri, 21-Dec-84 00:50:43 EST References: <344@hercules.UUCP> <608@rayssd.UUCP> <2551@sdcc3.UUCP> <133@sdcc12.UUCP> Reply-To: fritzz@sdcc3.UUCP (Flippin' fritzz) Organization: UCSD Brain Damage Control Lines: 54 Xref: watmath net.singles:5016 net.social:370 Summary: > Well, what if someone whom you used to think was an absolute jerk became >your SO? Did you change or did the other person change? What do you tell >your friends, or should you drop them all and make a new set of friends? This isn't what I meant... A lot of times people don't break up because the other person is a jerk (I know, a lot of times they do, but I'm picking a specific case). Nevertheless, they end up treating each other like they never existed. I have gotten a bit of mail in response to my earlier article, and it seems the primary explanation is pain: most people are hurt so much by the presence of their earlier SO that they can't stand being around them. It also seems that a lot of people managed to get over their pain and reestablish the friendship. (Most of these people felt they were the exception, though.) I guess I already knew the answer to the question, it was actually rather rhetorical on my part. I just find it very sad that so much caring can go down the tubes so quickly. > >Frieder, you are a saint, and I am merely a sinner. You are also an idealist. Hee hee. Idealist, yes. Everything else is hogwash. If I was a saint, I wouldn't be working here =). Seriously, everybody's sarcasm aside, I screw up just as well as anybody else I know, sometimes intentionally. It's just that I always want people to be happy, and it hurts me when they aren't. >Look around at what's happening in the world today! A lot of people just >get together so they won't be alone, or so that they will have a warm body to >show off to everyone else, or for someone to help them on their homework, or >so that they can relieve their physical urges, etc. Not everyone CARES about >the "relationship" part of a relationship. Sad, but true. And it's these >type of people who don't continue friendships once the romance is over. These >are the people who go "Oh, I love you, I really care for you, ad nauseum", >and then just look right through you as they walk by when it's all over. >Real friends will still care even after the passion has turned to cold ashes. >The love just isn't as concentrated, but it's still there. You know that. Bullseye. >For myself, I would take a known friend over someone who would "look good by my >side" if I were considering a relationship of that sort. (Of course, flings >are another story entirely, right? But I tend to not form an immediate >attraction to anybody while I'm at the buffet line during Happy Hour at Carlos >Murphy's.) However, I am not, so this has just been a lot of hot air anyway. Oh yeah? I've seen you at work at Carlos Murphy's =) Back to seriousness, if everybody preferred a good friendship over someone that would improve their public image, I think this world would be a much nicer place to live. Now that I've provided enough hot air of my own I think I'll just get in the balloon and float away...... -- ihnp4--\ fritzz the Zebra decvax--\ akgua----\ "What else do you do for fun?" dcdwest---\ "I go to funerals." kgbvax-----\ ucbvax-------- sdcsvax -- sdcc3 -- fritzz