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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!sjuvax!bbanerje
From: bbanerje@sjuvax.UUCP (B. Banerjee)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Violence
Message-ID: <736@sjuvax.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 14-Dec-84 18:46:28 EST
Article-I.D.: sjuvax.736
Posted: Fri Dec 14 18:46:28 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 16-Dec-84 05:16:44 EST
References: <4181@rochester.UUCP> <978@ihuxe.UUCP> <673@pucc-k>
Organization: Saint Josephs Univ. Phila., Pa.
Lines: 66

|> >> So, guys, how often do *you* get really mad? 
|> 
|> >Of course, if we strove to leave this infantile response in the schoolyard,
|> >where it belongs, the problem wouldn't arise.
|> 
|> Of course, we are all imperfect humanoid-types and, as such, have
|> slight tendencies to such uncivilized behavior.  Thus, it can't be
|> ignored nor can it be casually brushed aside with a comment such as
|> "leave this infantile response in the schoolyard."

I'm not sure that this is directly relevant to net.single, but I will
try to work in a connection.

First some background.  My family was EXTREMELY mobile during my
formative years.  Imagine if you will, being the new kid in town
in about 10 towns while still in school.  This led to having to
'prove' myself, in various fashions everywhere.  Primarily this was
scholastically, but often it was through being capable of dishing out
and taking quite a bit of violence.

The last fight I had was 11 years ago, when I was 17.  The other guy
had a knife, and I had a broken bottle.  I still bear the scars from
that encounter, and I am certain that my opponent does as well.

Since then, whenever confronted with a confrontational situation, I
have walked away.  Sometimes this is followed by intense soul searching
as to whether I did the right thing.  The last time this happened was
last year.  I honked at a sh*thead who cut in on me without signalling.
He got out of his car, and broke my antenna - causing approximately
$100 worth of damage.  My first reaction was to go after him with a
tire iron.  However, I did drive away without doing anything.

Now, that I have established my credentials as a non violent (or
reformed violent) type of person :-), I would like to state this.
There is in me, and I suspect, in most people; an atavistic sense
of conflict.  At the lowest level, we never completely rule out
violence as a last means.  When I am in a competitive situation with
another man, professionally or personally; one of the things on the
mental checklist is "Could I take him if I had to?".  I strongly
suspect that I am not alone in thinking this way.  There is a lot of
the Lizard Brain in all of us (refer to net.hunting.flames).

Let me say in my defense, that I have NEVER started a fight, and I
have NEVER hit a woman (shows me to be a closet chauvinist :-).

Well, now comes the connection to net.singles which you have presumably
been reading this far to get to.  I do have a pretty short temper,
and I DO work it off by hitting inanimate objects (or taking my bike
out for a long spin).  Often this causes some consternation in the
people around at the time.

Now for the 64 megabuck question!  Would this be construed as violence
against women?  If you were (are) a woman, would you consider yourself
to be potentially in danger if your SO started punching the walls
during an argument?

Well what do you think? (BTW, I think that overall, I'm quita a nice
person, so don't give me the old "lack of self esteem" runaround).

Regards,

-- 
				Binayak Banerjee
		{allegra | astrovax | bpa | burdvax}!sjuvax!bbanerje
P.S.
	Send Flames, I love mail.