Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site decwrl.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!hao!hplabs!intelca!qantel!dual!decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-amber!chabot From: chabot@amber.DEC (l s chabot) Newsgroups: net.women Subject: Re: rape and streetwalking Message-ID: <23@decwrl.UUCP> Date: Mon, 17-Dec-84 14:51:24 EST Article-I.D.: decwrl.23 Posted: Mon Dec 17 14:51:24 1984 Date-Received: Sun, 23-Dec-84 06:27:08 EST Sender: daemon@decwrl.UUCP Organization: DEC Engineering Network Lines: 53 The problem is not that "steetwalking" has unfortunate connotations, it's that it means something different in English than what one might guess by combining the definitions of the component words. It's not a poor choice of words, it's a wrong choice. Approach the problem of crossing the street from the point of view of your grandmother, or another elderly friend or relative. Do you like to think of your grandmother being frightened by a large, strange, younger person with a confident step approaching? Remember, her bones are more fragile, she moves slower, she may have more difficulty with curbs and icy patches and trying to step sideways between parked cars. And she's frightened and nervous. You don't have to be walking in a bad neighborhood to be jumped if you're old--the thugs don't confine themselves to their own habitat. Don't cross the street for me (unless you feel compelled for your own safety): I'm young and healthy enough to feel (probably foolishly sometimes) confident. But look, for a very small amount effort, we could all avoid scaring some older person, maybe somebody's grandparent, maybe somebody lonely. Heck, even I try to cross the street at night anyway for them, or at least put parked cars between us. It doesn't take much; if you catch their eyes and see the fear that I've glimpsed faintly, you may be compelled to cross anyway. Those of you who feel like smiling and waving, smile and wave as you cross; if they need help negotiating some rough ground or something, they'll not be put off by this but will ask anyway. Frankly, I'm usually annoyed at this topic when no one does seem to bring up the topic of going out of your way to help someone not as physically able as most of us are. Learning courtesy isn't a frill--it's a social obligation, and if you don't understand it that way, then you've been brought up improperly. Self-reliance is an imcomplete picture of reality: most will acknowledge the existence of obligations to family and friends, but there also exists a vast set of rules about appropriate behavior to those not as close, and these rules are in a sense obligations--and, if we follow them, they allow us to recognize dangerous or deviant or outsider behavior. The rules aren't strict, and they change gradually due to pressures of societal change and even fashion. By taking the initiative to cross the street, you are marking yourself as not being a thug--remember, to so many senior citizens, anyone young and strong and unfamiliar could be dangerous, since the elderly know they are considered to be easy prey--which you might not be able to do by being recognized (since you're a stranger) or by looking friendly (distracting attention by waving, & even thugs can smile). If you get to go home for your holidays, listen to your grandparents. Even hale and hearty and fit ones get knocked down and rolled. And they talk about these kinds of things even if they haven't happened to them, because it's common knowledge that the elderly are targets. Wouldn't you like it if more people, just people of good intentions and morals (yes, we'd all prefer if our family could be protected from becoming victims of criminals), did your grandparents the courtesy of not scaring them? L S Chabot UUCP: ...decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-amber!chabot ARPA: ...chabot%amber.DEC@decwrl.ARPA