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From: ecl@ahuta.UUCP (e.leeper)
Newsgroups: net.social
Subject: Re: friendly (?) kissing
Message-ID: <265@ahuta.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 20-Dec-84 15:35:03 EST
Article-I.D.: ahuta.265
Posted: Thu Dec 20 15:35:03 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 21-Dec-84 02:21:29 EST
References: <2840@ucla-cs.ARPA>
Organization: AT&T Information Systems Labs, Holmdel NJ
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REFERENCES:  <2840@ucla-cs.ARPA>

Friendly kissing should not extend to people that you know from work and
only from work.  (The only hard and fast rule in this posting.)

I was raised in a very "physical" family--a lot of kissing and hugging of
relatives and such.  Lots of people weren't.  This makes life difficult.

An occasional hug should be okay, particularly if you hug people of both sexes.
(That way it's clear that it's a friendship thing and not a sexual
thing--probably.)  A smooch on the cheek--here you get into the gray area.
Best advice I have is to do what feels right (not necessarily good!) at the
time and be ready to explain yourself if the person looks at you like you've
just molested them.  Heavy duty kissing in the back room is above and beyond
the call of friendship.  One kiss at a time should show someone how you feel.
(Twenty will also, but it's not friendship you're showing then!)

Adapting to what others do is fine if you're reasonably comfortable with it.
If everyone is kissing and you don't want to, don't feel you have to join in.
If you tell your friends verbally how much you care for them, it shouldn't be
necessary to get all sorts of physical to prove it.  If you are more physical
than they are, go easy.  If you really care about them, you'll be considerate
of their feelings.

(I've talked with several of my friends before this about physical signs of
affection.  Most express no serious objection, but they're not running out to
kiss each other either.  Talking about it makes whatever happens less of a
crisis.)

					Evelyn C. Leeper
					...{ihnp4, houxm, hocsj}!ahuta!ecl