Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site sdcc12.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!bellcore!decvax!ittvax!dcdwest!sdcsvax!sdcc12!paloma From: paloma@sdcc12.UUCP Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social Subject: Re: Friendship after SOship Message-ID: <135@sdcc12.UUCP> Date: Thu, 20-Dec-84 15:45:51 EST Article-I.D.: sdcc12.135 Posted: Thu Dec 20 15:45:51 1984 Date-Received: Sat, 22-Dec-84 02:03:20 EST References: <344@hercules.UUCP> <608@rayssd.UUCP> <2551@sdcc3.UUCP> <133@sdcc12.UUCP> <2569@sdcc3.UUCP> Organization: UCSD Academic Computer Center Lines: 30 Xref: watmath net.singles:5036 net.social:374 > > Well, what if someone whom you used to think was an absolute jerk became > >your SO? Did you change or did the other person change? What do you tell > >your friends, or should you drop them all and make a new set of friends? > > This isn't what I meant... A lot of times people don't break up because > the other person is a jerk. I was just playing devil's advocate here... But the question begs an answer. Haven't you gone out with someone you didn't think you liked all THAT much, and became seriously interested in this person afterwards? It's partly a matter of getting the larger perspective of the other person, sure, but moving emotionally away from one's other friends and spending all one's time with this new person (who was initially considered a "jerk") shows a lack of confidence in oneself and in one's ability to choose companions. This happens to be a pretty negative view. (SOship as SOSHip, or "Being rude to others because you're in love/lust/whatever".) In the ideal world, we'd all be friends before/during/after SOship. Sounds like your kind of place, Frieder. Let me know when you find it. > >I tend to not form an immediate attraction to anybody while I'm at the > >buffet line during Happy Hour at Carlos Murphy's. > > Oh yeah? I've seen you at work at Carlos Murphy's =) You've got to learn to differentiate between WORK and PLAY. And you've never seen me at Diego's... Cindy