Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site pucc-h Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!CS-Mordred!Pucc-H:aeq From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: The Start of Something New (I hope) Message-ID: <1617@pucc-h> Date: Fri, 28-Dec-84 01:42:26 EST Article-I.D.: pucc-h.1617 Posted: Fri Dec 28 01:42:26 1984 Date-Received: Sat, 29-Dec-84 01:42:38 EST References: <2743@ncsu.UUCP> <1567@pucc-h>, <1889@sun.uucp> Organization: my terminal Lines: 28 From Sunny Kirsten (sun!sunny): > Perhaps what you "Go for" is the problem. I obviously don't know what you're > going for, but an example: If you approach a woman and ask her to go to bed, > you may rarely get what you want, and otherwise will find near total rejection > and total loneliness. If, on the other hand, you approach her not as a sex > object but as a person, who also might be lonely, and simply try to share with > her the joy in your life, you may find a friend, and not be lonely. If you > approach with needs, you're more likely to be rejected than if you approach > with something to offer, like evidence that you enjoy life, and that being > with you is likely to be an enjoyable time. I know better than to ask a woman to go to bed right off the bat (even though that may be what I want). On the other hand, I have had in the past a tendency to approach women not as persons but as goddesses, seeking their forgiveness and acceptance. (Believe it or not, I've also been on the flip side of that situation twice -- i.e. the woman apparently seeking all that from me.) I have indeed wanted to go to bed with women, but not just to get my rocks off, not just viewing them as sex objects; rather, it was because I can think of no more powerful demonstration of acceptance to a man than a woman's opening herself to sex with him. Don't bother with followups telling me that this is the wrong approach to women and relationships with them; I know that now; but I'm not sure how well I could handle relating as you describe. -- -- Jeff Sargent {decvax|harpo|ihnp4|inuxc|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq Proud owner of two Control Data doorstops.