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From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: extra spur
Message-ID: <1619@pucc-h>
Date: Fri, 28-Dec-84 02:04:30 EST
Article-I.D.: pucc-h.1619
Posted: Fri Dec 28 02:04:30 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 29-Dec-84 01:43:24 EST
References: <28@azure.UUCP>
Organization: my terminal
Lines: 44

>> = Jeff Sargent
>  = Annadiana Beaver (azure!annab):

>> I could mention that net.singles used to be a group where I felt, more or
>> less that I belonged, in the above sense.
>> 
>> Someone will undoubtedly say, "You're a Christian; why don't you get involved
>> with a church?"  I could also comment that, alas, most churches (as far as I
>> can tell) don't provide this sense of belonging.  My above comment about
>> putting up nice fronts was prompted by this idea.  It would be nice to find a
>> church where, even on Sunday morning, I wouldn't have to put on a nice
>> expression whether or not I feel nice....

>	What has changed on net.singles ?
>	From the stuff I've seen mostly, it appears to be a rather open and
> inviting group. But as I said I'm almost new in town.

I guess it varies.  I have been notably flamed in the past at times when that
was not what I needed.  Nowadays things seem to have quieted down, though I
imagine that I am again trying the patience of the membership.  (One comment
I would make is that I am trying to not only deal with my own problems but
help others who may have similar difficulties to face and deal with theirs,
by letting them watch me deal with mine and read the advice others give to
me.  I'm not spending this group entirely on myself.)
  
>	Going through life putting up fronts gets to be quite confusing.
>	When you DO decide to be yourself you have nothing to go on.

There's a lot of truth to that second statement, though I reach it from a
different direction.  When I decide to be myself, I find that myself is
just about nothing.  I lack most of the qualities that ought to be displayed
by a Christian.  If I am myself, I'm likely to mess up relationships.  I did,
royally, this fall; though that was partially because I was not fully honest
in the earlier stages, because I did not at all want the woman to have to
experience rejection -- since she would hurt, and also since she would proceed
to reject me; so when I finally was honest and indicated that I really did not
want to be involved, I hurt her a lot worse than I should have.  I probably
could not have done a better job of hurting her if I'd deliberately set out
to do so.  How can I accept a self that does things like that?

-- 
-- Jeff Sargent
{decvax|harpo|ihnp4|inuxc|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq
Proud owner of two Control Data doorstops.