Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83 v7 ucbtopaz-1.8; site ucbtopaz.CC.Berkeley.ARPA Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!ucbvax!ucbtopaz!ocean From: ocean@ucbtopaz.CC.Berkeley.ARPA Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Christmas Party Memo Message-ID: <610@ucbtopaz.CC.Berkeley.ARPA> Date: Thu, 20-Dec-84 14:33:56 EST Article-I.D.: ucbtopaz.610 Posted: Thu Dec 20 14:33:56 1984 Date-Received: Sun, 23-Dec-84 07:49:49 EST Organization: Univ. of Calif., Berkeley CA USA Lines: 35 To: All Employees From: Your Christmas Chairman We have been informed by the Office of Health, Education and Welfare in Washington that a White Christmas would be in violation of title 11 of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Therefore, the following steps are to be taken to insure that we comply with the Act during the Christmas season: 1. All Christmas trees must have at least 23.4% colored bulbs, and they must be placed throughout the tree and not segregated in the back of the tree. 2. Christmas presents cannot be wrapped in white paper. However, interim approval can be given if colored ribbon is used to tie them. 3. If a manger scene is used, 20% of the angels and one out of the Three Kings must be of a minority race. 4. If Christmas music is played, "We Shall Overcome" must be given equal time. Under no circumstances is "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" to be played. 5. Care should be taken in party planning. For example: (a) Use pink champlgne instead of white. (b) Turkey may be served but only if the white and dark meat are on the same platter. There will be no separate but equal platters permitted. (c) Use chocolate swirl ice cream instead of vanilla. (d) Both chocolate and white milk must be served. There will be no freedom of choice plan. Milk will be served without regard to color. A team from HEW will visit us on December 25th to determine our compliance with the act. If it snows on Christmas Eve, we are all in trouble. ----- The above, and other wonderful bits of folklore are available in a book: Urban Folklore from the Paperwork Empire by Alan Dundes and Carl R. Pagter, available at bookstores everywhere. Everywhere around here, anyway.