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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!mhuxj!houxm!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!CS-Mordred!Pucc-H:aeq
From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: The end of it
Message-ID: <1554@pucc-h>
Date: Wed, 12-Dec-84 23:11:15 EST
Article-I.D.: pucc-h.1554
Posted: Wed Dec 12 23:11:15 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 14-Dec-84 06:47:30 EST
References: <127@decwrl.UUCP>, <1839@sun.uucp>
Organization: my terminal
Lines: 58

From sun!sunny (Sunny Kirsten):

>	As I recall it, Jeff started getting advice to seek therapy
> after several attempts of several net.singles subscribers to stop
> him from trying to ram religion down the throats of net.singles readers.

I wasn't exactly ramming religion down anyone's throats so much as being open
about the struggles one Christian has in trying to relate to people.  Granted,
one thing I hoped for was that I would show that Christians are human too.

As to the therapy, I have begun seeing regularly a man who now works as a
minister, but who previously worked full-time as a therapist; I'm not sure how
much he's helping, though, since I still refuse to trust myself to take any
risk (e.g. seeking a closer relationship with a particular woman) without an
unmistakable leading from God.

> I also recall a great deal of tolerance applied to him.

I realize this now, and I appreciate it.

> It's not that his opinion was inconsistent, it's that it had little place in
> net.singles.  I recall him being asked to move to net.religion.

Do only the standard secular opinions have a place here?  Why?

> [Therapy] may have it's fun moments, but mostly it's work.  And if you
> expect to accomplish anything from that work, it's probably going to
> be painful also, as you find yourself looking at aspects of yourself
> you'd rather believe aren't.

What do you think I've been doing all this time, even before I started seeing
my current counselor?  You've probably seen my references to honest, open
prayer as the ultimate psychotherapy.

BTW, my thanks to those (e.g. John Williams, who wrote the article whose
followup by Sunny I quoted here) who have written articles asking the members
of this group to be gentle to me....  Let me just comment on one point by
John Williams.

> Jeff is a nonconformist. If he wants to stay that way, he should be prepared
> to accept the fact that he is going to have trouble relating to people. He
> should be with people who will not be so critical of his beliefs, blaming
> them on something that is supposedly wrong with him, but with those who show
> stronger similarities. If he finds these people rare, he will have to choose
> for himself which he finds more important.

This I have, to some extent, been doing (note that my postings to this group
have been light in the last week or two, and not just because I'm short on
time).  I would prefer a few "quality", deep relationships with persons with
whom I have much in common than many more superficial relationships with
persons who have major disagreements with me.

Sigh....  Maybe one of these days I'll be human....

-- 
-- Jeff Sargent
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Clearing /tmp