Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site pucc-h
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!CS-Mordred!Pucc-H:aeq
From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Signals
Message-ID: <1624@pucc-h>
Date: Fri, 28-Dec-84 08:49:27 EST
Article-I.D.: pucc-h.1624
Posted: Fri Dec 28 08:49:27 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 29-Dec-84 05:48:30 EST
References: <283@sftri.UUCP>
Organization: my terminal
Lines: 44

From Mark Modig (sftri!mom -- poor guy, what a login for a man!):

>>> When in doubt, ASK!  There is NO substitute for openness and honesty.  If
>>> you give these, and presume the same, you won't be wrong.  [Sunny Kirsten]

>> Just hurt.  [Jeff Sargent]

> .... If you're expecting the woman of your dreams to knock on your door
> one day, good luck.  You have to ask, and be prepared to get turned down,
> becuase chances are you will some time.  If you don't ask you may have
> missed a great opportunity.

I suppose I am beginning to reconcile myself to the conclusion that the woman
I should marry will not be instantaneously obvious when I first meet her.
Odd that people should think that one's mate is instantly obvious; it is not
instantly obvious who would make a good friend or SO, let alone life-mate.

> Yeah, it hurts, but you've got no corner on the market.  I've been
> hurt, too, but after a time of pain and (sometimes) anger, I realised
> that it was time to get on with things.  Being hurt over being
> turned down is natural, but you can't let it grow out of proportion,
> and you've got to try to remain optimistic.

What does one do if one has been hurt out of proportion?  It's not easy to
get on with things when you have nearly 3 decades of almost uniform hurt --
with a very few shining, but short-lived (often due to my own klutziness),
exceptions.  I've had more than my share already of pain and anger; that's
why I'm sometimes amazed to look in the mirror and see that the lines on my
face are nowhere near a centimeter deep, and the hair is still there and has
all its color; I feel that I ought to be much more aged.  Not mature,
unfortunately; just aged.  But anyway, one comes to the point when one is
determined not to get hurt again; and how does one get away from that?

> So don't sweat it.  Be prepared for the worst and hope for the best;
> sooner or later things will work out!  Never give up!

The trouble is that hoping for the best diminishes one's preparedness for
the worst.  If you assume the worst from the beginning, it won't hurt quite
so much when it comes.

-- 
-- Jeff Sargent
{decvax|harpo|ihnp4|inuxc|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq
Proud owner of two Control Data doorstops.