Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site pucc-h
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!CS-Mordred!Pucc-H:aeq
From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: The end of it
Message-ID: <1623@pucc-h>
Date: Fri, 28-Dec-84 05:14:23 EST
Article-I.D.: pucc-h.1623
Posted: Fri Dec 28 05:14:23 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 29-Dec-84 02:47:34 EST
References: <127@decwrl.UUCP> <1839@sun.uucp> <1554@pucc-h> <1881@sun.uucp> <1590@pucc-h>, <473@mako.UUCP>
Organization: my terminal
Lines: 43

Reply to Dave Seifert (mako!seifert):

>>       The reason I sighed so wistfully for that is my assumption
>> (which I know will be widely challenged, but which I have yet to see
>> disproved) that I must get all my problems and struggles taken care of,
>> cleaned up, put utterly behind me, before I'll be tolerable (let alone
>> desirable) to a woman whom I would find desirable.  

>	OK, go back and read that bit about the "fruit of knowledge"
> and then come back and tell me how you are planning on taking care
> of all your problems and struggles.  It is our lot in life as humans
> to have problems and struggles, each and every one of us is going to
> have problems until we die.  And we all have out own unique set.
> (kind of like snowflakes  :-)  )  Haven't you ever met anyone who
> doesn't seem to get their share of problems?  Wasn't it hard to relate
> to them?  Didn't it seem like there was something wrong?

I have known people who were wonderfully accepting people.  The fact that I'm
not is the central problem/struggle that I'm dealing with.  Those people were
easy to relate to.  I didn't think there was something wrong with them; quite
the contrary.  But I still feel that I ought not to, and indeed cannot, burden
someone else with my problems (even if I do manage to get the acceptance bit
down pat) and expect them to still like me.  On this net, where most of the
people are many miles away, it doesn't make so much difference if I am
universally disliked.

>> Thus I assume that even now, when I actually seem to be in fairly good shape
>> emotionally, that any desire for a woman actually arises out of some deep, as
>> yet undiagnosed problem.

> huh?

Simple.  (Here we go again.)  So many times in the past I have become
interested in a woman not because I was really interested in her unique
combination of qualities, but because I wanted forgiveness or some sort of
healing from her -- a fact which I did not realize until too late.  Thus
now I assume that even though I don't see it now, there's probably some
such thing lurking under the surface of any desire I might feel now.

-- 
-- Jeff Sargent
{decvax|harpo|ihnp4|inuxc|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq
Proud owner of two Control Data doorstops.