Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site wateng.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!wateng!jamcmullan From: jamcmullan@wateng.UUCP (Judy McMullan) Newsgroups: net.women Subject: crossing the street Message-ID: <1760@wateng.UUCP> Date: Thu, 13-Dec-84 18:35:06 EST Article-I.D.: wateng.1760 Posted: Thu Dec 13 18:35:06 1984 Date-Received: Fri, 14-Dec-84 05:08:52 EST Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario Lines: 35 Comments on bits of a couple of articles: >One point about Julia's posting. I am sorry if my being a man and walking >down the street at night is seen as threatening to a woman walking towards >me. However, I adamantly refuse to cross the street because my presence >may bother her. If she is sufficently bothered by me to cross the street, >so be it. I cannot let the (possibility of hurting the) feelings of others >rule my actions or I would be nothing but a marionette (like the farmer and >the donkey in the children's story of old). Life is tough enough without >that onus. I was in on a conversation about this very topic, a few weeks ago. I am struck by how very different this response is from the kind response of a caring woman who suggested that we might do the same small courtesy (cross the street) when coming up behind an elderly woman. They are such vulnerable targets for assaults by anyone, that either men or women can elicit the same feelings of fear for an elderly woman. The idea may not appeal to you. However, it is a good suggestion for those who wish to be kind. > If you (a man) are walking alone at night (or with other men) > and see a woman walking alone toward you, then cross the street > and let her walk in peace. > > I'd rather smile at her when I pass. That way she'll have a tremendous > feeling of relief, rather than feeling that all men are either rapists or > simply avoiding her. A nice thought but I have found that a strange man who smiles at me WITHOUT trying to pick me up is rare. I feel much safer when men ignore me, in public. It took me a few years to learn this. I learned it the hard way. --from the sssstickkky keyboard of JAM ...!{ihnp4|clyde|decvax}!watmath!wateng!jamcmullan