Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site pucc-h Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!CS-Mordred!Pucc-H:aeq From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Signals (digression) Message-ID: <1620@pucc-h> Date: Fri, 28-Dec-84 03:17:52 EST Article-I.D.: pucc-h.1620 Posted: Fri Dec 28 03:17:52 1984 Date-Received: Sat, 29-Dec-84 02:43:56 EST References: <1555@pucc-h>, <1882@sun.uucp> <1591@pucc-h> <241@stat-l>, <1229@bbncca.ARPA> Organization: my terminal Lines: 52 > = Steve Dyer (bbncca!dyer) > Who gave you the corner on being "hurt" or feeling inadequate? How are > you so special? What supreme arrogance you display as you trumpet your > supposed inadequacies before this readership. Surely no one else could > even approach the depths of depravity that you experience daily. Bah! I have a very hard time accepting myself given that I do not by a long shot measure up to Christ and His commandment, "Love one another as I have loved you" -- and He put up with a lot from those disciples of His, some of whom were real bozos by nature. A funny thing I just thought of is that if I could accept myself, that then I could much more easily obey this commandment (certainly Christ loved from a base of supreme self-acceptance); the most loving people I know have obviously been able to accept themselves. And my therapist has said more than once that self-acceptance is a decision one has to make for oneself. Hmm.... Wish me luck, I've got 29.5 years of habits and security built around self-rejection; self-acceptance means dynamiting my whole life. > You're not yet a fully social being, you don't feel in touch > with others' signals, you don't yet have all the rules down pat. And you > use this sense of awkwardness which you derive from day-to-day life to > reinforce your own distorted self-image. Trouble is, you have falsely > identified this self-image as your Self, and every mistake real or imagined > you make is an opportunity to further denigrate your Self, thus contributing > to the "reality" of your self-image. I'm not sure this is true. I'm a fairly good actor, so I do tolerably well in minor social interactions. I am somewhat reserved and shy, but I get along all right. > It might be worth considering a "real-time" group therapy session in > addition to your current therapy. If you don't agree, fine, just don't > respond here with excuses like "Purdue is a dump which doesn't have any > resources"--I refuse to believe that a university like Purdue does not > provide any suitable mental-health services. Purdue (and its containing county, and its containing state) are such backward places that I'm amazed there's even a department of psychology at this university. But in all the stuff I have heard of in terms of mental-health services available, never have I heard of any therapy groups. Besides, as you said in a section I didn't reproduce, "Real life doesn't come with an 'n' key." I have to be able to trust and accept me before I could trust a real-time therapy group -- especially if not all the members were Christians; such a group, where the others would have difficulty understanding me, might do more harm than good. -- -- Jeff Sargent {decvax|harpo|ihnp4|inuxc|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq Proud owner of two Control Data doorstops.