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From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: The end of it
Message-ID: <1625@pucc-h>
Date: Fri, 28-Dec-84 08:59:27 EST
Article-I.D.: pucc-h.1625
Posted: Fri Dec 28 08:59:27 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 30-Dec-84 00:44:50 EST
References: <127@decwrl.UUCP>, <1839@sun.uucp> <1554@pucc-h>, <1881@sun.uucp> <1590@pucc-h>, <52@rti-sel.UUCP>
Organization: my terminal
Lines: 32

From Randy Buckland (rti-sel!rcb):

> The essence of the emotion known as "love" as I see it is a caring for
> and a desire to help another person. It is not impossible for someone to
> love you even though you have problems. It is more probable that someone
> will love you for other reasons and will have a desire to help with those
> problems you do have. But this implies that there are desireable aspects
> of you personality as well as the undesireable (i.e. the problems).
> Of course, if all you do is whine about your problems, I can understand
> that no one finds you desireable. Oh well, I've got my own problems to 
> deal with (and people who care enough to help me). That's all.

There is some truth to this.  Certainly I have been loved when I had much
bigger problems than I have now.  And certainly there are desirable aspects
about my personality.  But I look at love from the standpoint of one friend
of mine who has known me for 9 years, and who says that when she first knew
me, she loved me even though she didn't like me much.  This ties in with the
definition of love that I posted some time back, which began, "Love is not
being attracted to the good in another person; love is giving *to* another
person from one's own store of good" -- i.e. that love means giving to
someone even if you can't stand them.  Jesus asks us to love our enemies,
and if I can't do that (yet), how can I deserve any favor or acceptance?
(Christians reading this, don't bother telling me that God accepts me as
I am; He agrees not to throw me out, but I question whether He likes me and
will say "well done" given that I am not much like Christ and do not act
much like Him.  Acceptance is given, but praise and liking must be earned.
Anyone [especially from the Christian community] wish to address this point?)

-- 
-- Jeff Sargent
{decvax|harpo|ihnp4|inuxc|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq
Proud owner of two Control Data doorstops.