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From: ocean@ucbtopaz.CC.Berkeley.ARPA
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Christmas Party Memo
Message-ID: <610@ucbtopaz.CC.Berkeley.ARPA>
Date: Thu, 20-Dec-84 14:33:56 EST
Article-I.D.: ucbtopaz.610
Posted: Thu Dec 20 14:33:56 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 23-Dec-84 07:49:49 EST
Organization: Univ. of Calif., Berkeley CA USA
Lines: 35

To:    All Employees
From:  Your Christmas Chairman

We have been informed by the Office of Health, Education and Welfare in
Washington that a White Christmas would be in violation of title 11 of
the Civil Rights Act of 1964.  Therefore, the following steps are to be 
taken to insure that we comply with the Act during the Christmas season:

1.  All Christmas trees must have at least 23.4% colored bulbs, and they
    must be placed throughout the tree and not segregated in the back of
    the tree.  
2.  Christmas presents cannot be wrapped in white paper.  However, interim 
    approval can be given if colored ribbon is used to tie them.
3.  If a manger scene is used, 20% of the angels and one out of the
    Three Kings must be of a minority race.
4.  If Christmas music is played, "We Shall Overcome" must be given equal
    time.  Under no circumstances is "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas"
    to be played.
5.  Care should be taken in party planning.  For example:
       (a) Use pink champlgne instead of white.
       (b) Turkey may be served but only if the white and dark meat are
           on the same platter.  There will be no separate but equal
           platters permitted.
       (c) Use chocolate swirl ice cream instead of vanilla.
       (d) Both chocolate and white milk must be served.  There will be
           no freedom of choice plan.  Milk will be served without regard
           to color.

A team from HEW will visit us on December 25th to determine our compliance
with the act.  If it snows on Christmas Eve, we are all in trouble.

                             -----
The above, and other wonderful bits of folklore are available in a book:
Urban Folklore from the Paperwork Empire by Alan Dundes and Carl R. Pagter,
available at bookstores everywhere.  Everywhere around here, anyway.