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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!CS-Mordred!Pucc-H:aeq
From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Signals (digression)
Message-ID: <1620@pucc-h>
Date: Fri, 28-Dec-84 03:17:52 EST
Article-I.D.: pucc-h.1620
Posted: Fri Dec 28 03:17:52 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 29-Dec-84 02:43:56 EST
References: <1555@pucc-h>, <1882@sun.uucp> <1591@pucc-h> <241@stat-l>, <1229@bbncca.ARPA>
Organization: my terminal
Lines: 52

> = Steve Dyer (bbncca!dyer)

> Who gave you the corner on being "hurt" or feeling inadequate?  How are
> you so special?  What supreme arrogance you display as you trumpet your
> supposed inadequacies before this readership.  Surely no one else could
> even approach the depths of depravity that you experience daily.  Bah!

I have a very hard time accepting myself given that I do not by a long shot
measure up to Christ and His commandment, "Love one another as I have loved
you" -- and He put up with a lot from those disciples of His, some of whom
were real bozos by nature.  A funny thing I just thought of is that if I
could accept myself, that then I could much more easily obey this commandment
(certainly Christ loved from a base of supreme self-acceptance); the most
loving people I know have obviously been able to accept themselves.  And my
therapist has said more than once that self-acceptance is a decision one has
to make for oneself.  Hmm....  Wish me luck, I've got 29.5 years of habits
and security built around self-rejection; self-acceptance means dynamiting
my whole life.

> You're not yet a fully social being, you don't feel in touch
> with others' signals, you don't yet have all the rules down pat.  And you
> use this sense of awkwardness which you derive from day-to-day life to
> reinforce your own distorted self-image.  Trouble is, you have falsely
> identified this self-image as your Self, and every mistake real or imagined
> you make is an opportunity to further denigrate your Self, thus contributing
> to the "reality" of your self-image.

I'm not sure this is true.  I'm a fairly good actor, so I do tolerably well
in minor social interactions.  I am somewhat reserved and shy, but I get
along all right.

> It might be worth considering a "real-time" group therapy session in
> addition to your current therapy.  If you don't agree, fine, just don't
> respond here with excuses like "Purdue is a dump which doesn't have any
> resources"--I refuse to believe that a university like Purdue does not
> provide any suitable mental-health services.

Purdue (and its containing county, and its containing state) are such
backward places that I'm amazed there's even a department of psychology
at this university.  But in all the stuff I have heard of in terms of
mental-health services available, never have I heard of any therapy groups.

Besides, as you said in a section I didn't reproduce, "Real life doesn't
come with an 'n' key."  I have to be able to trust and accept me before
I could trust a real-time therapy group -- especially if not all the members
were Christians; such a group, where the others would have difficulty
understanding me, might do more harm than good.

-- 
-- Jeff Sargent
{decvax|harpo|ihnp4|inuxc|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq
Proud owner of two Control Data doorstops.