Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site decwrl.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!hao!hplabs!intelca!qantel!dual!decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-koala!robins From: robins@koala.DEC (Life is like an analogy) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: SARJokes Monday, Dec 17th, 1984 Message-ID: <16@decwrl.UUCP> Date: Mon, 17-Dec-84 11:48:37 EST Article-I.D.: decwrl.16 Posted: Mon Dec 17 11:48:37 1984 Date-Received: Sun, 23-Dec-84 06:24:59 EST Sender: daemon@decwrl.UUCP Organization: DEC Engineering Network Lines: 54 The five-alarm fire had been raging out of control for hours, pouring thick, black smoke over the street. At last the blaze was under control and the fire chief began accounting for his men. Two were missing, so he ordered a search. Captain Kelly finally rounded a fire truck parked in an alley and found, to his shock, one fireman with his trousers down leaning over a garbage can and another fireman screwing him in the ass. "What's the meaning of this?" the captain roared. "Jones here had passed out from smoke inhalation," the fireman doing the fucking panted. "You're supposed to give mouth to mouth resuscitation for that," the captain said. "I know. That's what started this," the fireman replied. ---------- A flea had oiled up his little flea legs and his little flea arms, had spread out his blanket, and was proceeding to soak up the Miami sun when who should stumble by on the beach but an old flea friend of his. "Oscar, what happened to you?" asked the flea, because Oscar looked pretty terrible, wrapped up in a blanket, his nose running, his eyes red, and his teeth chattering. "I got a ride down here in some guy's mustache....and he came down by motorcycle. I nearly froze my nuts off," wheezed Oscar. "Let me give you a tip, old pal," said the first flea, spreading some more suntan oil on his shoulders. "You go to the stewardesses' lounge at the airport, see, and you get up on a toilet seat, and when an Air Florida stew comes in to take a leak, you hop on for a nice, warm ride. Got it?" So you can imagine the flea's surprise when, a month or so later, while stretched out all warm and comfortable on the beach, whom should he see but Oscar - looking more chilled and miserable then before. "Listen," said Oscar before the other flea could say a word, "I did everything you said. I made it to the stew- ardesses' lounge and waited till a really cute one came in, made a perfect landing, and got so warm and cozy that I dozed right off." "And so?" asked the flea. "And so the next thing i know I'm on some guy's mustache..." ---------- There is a kindergarten classroom of 5 and 6 year olds. The teacher blindfolded Suzie and gave her a tootsie roll. Suzie was to chew the tootsie roll and tell the tacher what it was. Suzie said, "That's easy, this is a tootsie roll." Then the teacher blindfolded Mark and gave him and M & M. He chewed it, and said, "O that's good, that's an M & M." The teacher said, "Very good, Mark," and went to the next little girl named Linda. She blindfolded Linda and gave her a chocolate candy kiss. Linda chewed it, and said, "I can't tell what this is, teacher." "I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your mother gives your father every night before they go to bed." Little Johnny, from the back of the class, gets up and yells out, "Spit it out, it's a piece of ass!" Mon 17-Dec-1984 11:34 I'm never to sick to send out the jokes.