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From: bdp@ptsfa.UUCP (Barbara Petersen)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Women's preferences
Message-ID: <396@ptsfa.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 7-Dec-84 23:46:03 EST
Article-I.D.: ptsfa.396
Posted: Fri Dec  7 23:46:03 1984
Date-Received: Mon, 10-Dec-84 02:13:28 EST
Distribution: net
Organization: Pacific Bell, San Francisco
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Thus far, the responses to this posting seem to ignore what I would consider
the "other side of the coin"-- guys who'd like to believe that most women prefer
men who are assholes.  In some of the cases mentioned, it does seem clear that
the women involved actually *do* seem to go for jerks (i.e. the woman admits
the man's an asshole).  In general, though, I think that the idea that "women
don't like nice guys, women prefer assholes" is at least partially a convenient
fiction for men. 

How so?  Consider the man who has just been rejected-- his ego is bruised, the 
question of "what's he got that I haven't got?" is starting to raise its ugly 
head.  The realities of the situation might not be so easy to take.  Maybe he's
just not as nice a guy as he thinks he is.  Maybe he'll have to rethink his 
ideas about what type(s) of women are "right" for him.  If, for whatever reason,
he's not willing and/or ready to examine just why the relationship failed-- 
well, he needs another way to put things back together.  So, he reassures
himself-- "the other guy's just some asshole".  And then an ugly little 
stereotype creeps in-- "women like to be abused".  Bingo!  He had nothing to do
with the breakup; he's just a nice guy who can't win.  It's the woman's fault; 
she has an abuse fetish, and found someone who'd abuse her.  The same thing
happens again (it worked well last time!), some of his friends report similar 
experiences, and before long, he believes it too.  Women don't want nice guys, 
nice guys finish last; women prefer men who are assholes.

So-- do women really prefer assholes?  Maybe a few do; I suspect that they're
in the minority.  I think that a little truth got mixed in with a good dose of
"creative thinking", and created a belief that is much more prevalent than it 
is true.

                                            Barbara Petersen
                                            ..!dual!ptsfa!bdp

"When I face life's great computer, let it be said that, though I was spindled
and mutilated, I didn't fold."