Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/17/84 chuqui version 1.7 9/23/84; site nsc.UUCP Path: utzoo!decvax!harpo!whuxlm!spuxll!abnjh!mhuxv!mhuxt!mhuxj!ihnp4!nsc!hplabs!tektronix!moiram From: moiram@tektronix.UUCP Newsgroups: mod.singles,net.singles Subject: unconditional love Message-ID: <1923@nsc.UUCP> Date: Fri, 30-Nov-84 02:32:20 EST Article-I.D.: nsc.1923 Posted: Fri Nov 30 02:32:20 1984 Date-Received: Fri, 30-Nov-84 17:45:22 EST Sender: chuqui@nsc.UUCP Lines: 47 Approved: chuqui@nsc.UUCP {moderators note: because of distribution problems with moderated groups in general I am cross posting mod.singles postings to net.singles. As soon as I can track down the sites that have forgotten to forward mod.all we can do away with that again. If you get a message in net.singles that doesn't show up in mod.singles, please drop me a note to help me track these things down! -- chuq] - - - mod.singles- - - - - - Volume 1, Issue 25 - - - > llfe@hound: > Some of the conditions I deal with are "I love you, but I need some > peace and quiet/sleep/time alone" and "I love you, so I'm going to > ruin your life/make you go to school/insert your own phrase for your > own good." These are not conditions. Remember your if...then...else? The part that comes after the "if" is the condition. IF you will be such and such, THEN I will love you. See, we all have these expectations about how others ought to be. The more importance we attach to the relationship with a person, the more importance we attach to those expectations. The problem with expectations of SOs is that generally the expectations (read fantasies) are built early in the relationship, based on a few clues and a lot of hope. >> The concept does not deny that there is always "stuff" to be worked >> out in the relationship. But it takes that working-out to a more >> conscious level of asking for what you want, not blackmailing for it. > Instead of advocating/expecting infinite acceptance of both yourself and > the person you deal with, I would recommend communication. Both of the > "let's sit down and discuss this" type, and the "yell, scream, jump-up- > and-down" type. BOTH are positive influences if you are careful. I thought my paragraph indicated that acceptance and communication are not mutally exclusive. Moira Mallison tektronix!moiram -- From the center of a Plaid pentagram: Chuq Von Rospach {cbosgd,decwrl,fortune,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo}!nsc!chuqui nsc!chuqui@decwrl.ARPA ~But you know, monsieur, that as long as she wears the claw of the dragon upon her breast you can do nothing-- her soul belongs to me!~