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From: beth@umcp-cs.UUCP (Beth Katz)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social
Subject: Re: Meeting the Parents
Message-ID: <1385@umcp-cs.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 27-Nov-84 08:53:03 EST
Article-I.D.: umcp-cs.1385
Posted: Tue Nov 27 08:53:03 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 30-Nov-84 08:33:26 EST
References: <614@pucc-k> <519@cbosgd.UUCP>
Reply-To: beth@maryland.UUCP (Beth Katz)
Organization: U of Maryland, Computer Science Dept., College Park, MD
Lines: 30

According to Miss Manners and practical experience, you should follow
the dictates of the host and hostess when visiting if at all possible.
That means that you honor your parents values and sleep in separate
rooms if your parents want it that way.  You sleep together the rest
of the time, can't you be apart for a little while?  Miss Manners also
says that meanderings in the night should be ignored.  Haven't you
learned anything about discretion?

Why is it so important to shove your values in your parents' faces?
(I am NOT flaming.  I've gone through this with a number of parents
when I have lived with people.  We tried to be cool about it, and few
problems developed.)  There are probably better things to discuss when
you first meet than your living arrangements.  After they get to know
you better, you will have time to discuss that.  Let them bring up the
subject.  Some parents just don't want to know even though they suspect.
If they haven't been told explicitly, they don't have to condone it.  I
know that this is ignoring the issue, but some people feel more comfortable
not facing those issues.  If you end up discussing the issue, the other
suggestions made in other postings are reasonable.  Eventually you will
tell your parents, but let them determine when they are ready to handle it.

This reminds me of the New Years get-togethers at some friends' house.
They slept in their master bedroom, but there was only one other double
bed.  The couple that was together the least (long distance or whatever)
got the double bed.  We all figured that the married or posslq people
slept together the majority of the time, so they could sleep in twin beds
or in sleeping bags for the few nights of the visit.  It just made sense.

Enjoy the holidays.		Beth Katz
				{seismo,allegra,rlgvax}!umcp-cs!beth