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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxj!houxm!vax135!petsd!moncol!john
From: john@moncol.UUCP (John Ruschmeyer)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: How single is single?
Message-ID: <138@moncol.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 11-Dec-84 17:42:04 EST
Article-I.D.: moncol.138
Posted: Tue Dec 11 17:42:04 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 13-Dec-84 00:55:54 EST
References: <2505@ihuxf.UUCP>
Organization: Monmouth College, Long Branch, NJ
Lines: 49

In article <2505@ihuxf.UUCP>,  aMAZon (ihnp4!ihuxf!features) asked:

>	Do you think the experience of being single is different
>for those with SOs and those without?  If so, how?
>	I would like to throw this up as a rhetorical question.
>My position is that yes, it is different.  Just as having/not
>having a roommate makes apartment living different.  From
>my experience, being single and without an SO can make one really
>question one's very existence.  Being single and with an SO can
>hammer home the point about loneliness creeping in at the
>oddest times.
>	Is the grass *really* greener on the other side, or does
>it just seem to be because of all the bull----?
>

I definitely have to agree with you. From my experience, I can try to
make a few statements:

	  If you have any kind of reasonable relationship with your
	SO, then most concerns within the relationship are, at worst,
	about differences to be reconciled (tastes, habits, etc.)

	  If you do not have a SO, then, if you're like me, you end
	up doing a lot of soul searching and self-inspecting. Mostly,
	you wonder if you ever will find that one, true SO.

	  Being without an SO can also leave you sometimes with a
	sense of powerlessness. Without that other person, you
	sometimes have to carry so much alone.

	  Ask yourself this question: Have you ever not seen/done
	something because you have no one to see/do it with? I find
	that I tend to avoid certain things without an SO to do them
	with.

	  If a good thing can be said about being without an SO, it is
	that it seem to bring out the caring and concern in yourself
	sometimes. When I don't have a SO, I tend to think of the
	people I meet as potential ones. I think this allows (makes)
	me get more interested and involved than I would be if that
	potential did not exist.  (Do you smell brimstone? -))


-- 
	John Ruschmeyer		...!vax135!petsd!moncol!john
	Monmouth College
	W. Long Branch, NJ 07764

"The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain."