Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site decwrl.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!zehntel!dual!decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-koala!robins From: robins@koala.DEC (Life is like an analogy) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: SARJokes Monday, Dec 10th, 1984 Message-ID: <194@decwrl.UUCP> Date: Mon, 10-Dec-84 09:35:16 EST Article-I.D.: decwrl.194 Posted: Mon Dec 10 09:35:16 1984 Date-Received: Tue, 11-Dec-84 07:35:35 EST Sender: daemon@decwrl.UUCP Organization: DEC Engineering Network Lines: 56 A yankee was visiting Buckingham palace. He was fortunate enough to get to have dinner with the Royal Family. As the Queen sat down she gave vent to a tremendous fart, upon which, Prince Philip turned red, murmuring "Pardon me". A couple of minutes later another fruity fart rent the air. At which Prince Andrew went red, murmuring "Pardon me". After the first course, the Queen again shifted cheeks and blew a seat- shattering assful out. At which the yank jumped up and said: "Hey there your majesty, have this one on me!!" ---------- Dsylexia means never having to say that you're ysror. ---------- there's this scotsman drinkin' in the pub when he decides to leave... ...when he hits the fresh air it just overcomes him and he promptly passes out. well, now he's completly out laying on the pavement and along comes this young lass, a little bewildered and somewhat curious. she goes over to him and lifts his kilt to see just what is under there. of course his protrusion is just hanging there and she thinks it's just so cute that she takes the ribbon out of her hair and ties it onto him , then she quickly leaves..... ....after a while the scotsman wakes up realizing he needs to relieve himself and walks to the corner and down the alley where he lifts his kilt and sees this blue ribbon tied to his penis... .. a little confused he looks again and says, "well, i don't know where you've been laddie but i'm glad to see you took first place"!!!!! ---------- A city boy was driving around in the country looking at all the sights and "communing" with nature. Along one stretch of road, he approached a farm house with a large front porch and a farmer sitting in his wicker chair, just smoking his pipe. The lad got out of the car and walked towards the farmer. He asks the farmer, "Excuse me mister, but isn't that milkweed you have planted over there?", while he points to the right. The farmer slowly looks over, and says "Ayuh..." The boy asks him, "Would you mind terribly if I got some fresh milk from them?" The farmer gets pensive for a moment, thinking, "This could be fun" and says to the boy, "No sa', go right ahead." The lad runs back to his car, gets a couple of jars and heads toward the milkweed field. After a short time, he comes back with two jars full of milk. The farmer is just a tad amazed at this but tries not to look too shaken. The boy puts the jars back in the car and turns around to face the farmer. He asks "Thank you very much. Tell me, isn't that honeysuckle you have over there?", while pointing off to the left. The farmer again looks over slowly, and says "Ayuh..." The boy asks him, "I know I've been a bother, but would you mind if I got some fresh honey?" Reflecting on what just happened, the farmer wants to see if it was a fluke, so he says "S'all right, get on with ya." The boy runs back to his car, gets two more jars and heads off towards the honeysuckle field. He comes back a little later with two jars full of shining golden honey and he puts these into the car. He again faces the farmer. He says "Thanks a lot, really!" The farmer says, "No problem, glad to oblige." The boy asks, "Uhhh, just one more thing. Aren't those plants along that pond pussywillows?" The farmer says, "Wait for me!" Mon 10-Dec-1984 09:24 Never eat anything bigger than your head