Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site rayssd.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!rayssd!hxe From: hxe@rayssd.UUCP Newsgroups: net.motss Subject: Re: Biological basis for homosexuality? Message-ID: <606@rayssd.UUCP> Date: Mon, 10-Dec-84 12:36:26 EST Article-I.D.: rayssd.606 Posted: Mon Dec 10 12:36:26 1984 Date-Received: Tue, 11-Dec-84 03:27:48 EST References: <677@amdahl.UUCP> Organization: Raytheon Co., Portsmouth RI Lines: 60 I am replying to Steve Dyer's original posting, not to Gordon Moffett's followups. Steve asked a question that was disturbing to me because, no matter how hard I tried, I could not answer it for myself. His question (paraphrased) was, "What would you do if you found out, while your child was in the womb, that he/she was homosexual?" (Actually, he asked it in a general way and I took it personally because I believe that that's the best way to approach any theoretical problem.) Suppose I'm pregnant and have a routine amnioscentesis (sp?) done for whatever reason. Without my asking, the doctor volunteers the informa- tion that my child is a boy with genetic "homosexual tendencies." (This is in Steve's scenario; I'm not just finding a farfetched story here!) Like it or not, and with all my best *intellectual* intentions over-ridden by gut instinct, you can bet that I'm going to treat him differently. I'm not going to *want* to, mind you, but I'm human. I will have been told that he's 'different' and that will affect me, as I assert that it would affect anyone in that situation. I'm already scared to death of raising a child because I want him/her to be non-sexist, peace-loving, non-racist, non-homophobic, non-anything-bad, etc. (In other words, perfect.) *Now* I'm faced with trying to provide my son a non-heterosexual-stereotypical upbringing and I have no experience. How many words/actions/thoughts/values that we pass on to our children assume that they are heterosexual? All. I would probably turn to all my gay friends and ask them, "What would you like to have heard and how would you like to have been treated when you were growing up? Anything different?" And therein lies the other problem. I don't want to treat my son 'differently'. I want him to be like any other kid, for his sake. I also don't want to make any false assumptions on his behalf about his sexual preference based on some hormonal test performed before he was born. I know a man (my old roommate) who was gay from the age of 14 to the age of 22 and then decided he was straight again. I don't know why he decided to be straight again, but I do know that he decided to be gay because he was told by his gay sister and her gay husband (none of my business why they married) *from the time he was about 5 years old* that he was gay. I'm not making any judgements here and I'm not assuming that he was either "really gay" or "really straight" or somewhere in between. All I know is that he made (what he thought to be) a conscious decision to be gay because he was told he was. He decided later that it wasn't right for him. How did you all decide you were gay? Was it your own decision? All I'm saying here is that I don't think it's the job of a parent to tell a child what his sexual preference is. Then again, don't they really do that already by assuming everyone is heterosexual? See why I'm confused? Of course the problem doesn't exist for me, or for anyone for that matter. Not yet. But Steve is right to bring it up for discussion *now*, not when it's too late. Remember that I'm someone who wouldn't mind (I say now) a gay child; I just don't want to screw up his upbringing. What about the people who would really persecute a child they thought was gay from birth on? No answers, just questions. -- --Heather Emanuel {allegra, decvax!brunix, linus, ccice5} rayssd!hxe -------------------------------------------------------------------- I don't think my company *has* an opinion, so the ones in this article are obviously my own. -------------------------------------------------------------------- "Such a foolish notion, that war is called devotion, when the greatest warriors are the ones who stand for peace."