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From: marie@harvard.ARPA (Marie Desjardins)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social
Subject: Re: Meeting the Parents
Message-ID: <177@harvard.ARPA>
Date: Thu, 29-Nov-84 16:41:01 EST
Article-I.D.: harvard.177
Posted: Thu Nov 29 16:41:01 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 2-Dec-84 04:51:53 EST
References: <614@pucc-k>, <519@cbosgd.UUCP> <10005@watmath.UUCP>
Organization: Aiken Computation Laboratory, Harvard
Lines: 35

Re: telling your parents you will be living with your SO.

I am currently living with my fiance (wedding planned for June, right
after I graduate from college).  We were engaged last summer, and I told
my parents that we were planning on getting married in a few years.
Their immediate reaction was "I hope you're planning to wait for a long
time!".  As far as telling them that we were living together, it
happened very gradually:  last summer (1983) I went to Europe for the
first few months of the summer, and stayed with John at the end of the
summer (I was working in Boston).  My mother was a little concerned
about this, but since I was moving back into university housing and it
would only be for a few weeks...  Anyway, when she started having to
sometimes call me at John's late at night or early in the morning I
think she got the hint that we were spending our nights together.  This
year I decided to move into to John's apartment because (a) we wanted to
try it out (although we were really already quite confident, and rightly
so, of our ability to put up with each other constantly :-) and (b) I
was very unhappy living on-campus for a number of reasons (which my
parents were aware of).  So it was quite easy for me to tell my parents.
John's parents are another matter (he is Korean, and his parents are
fairly traditional.  He hasn't even managed to really tell them that 
we're planning to get married!).  

In October, I went home (to Maryland, where I live with my mother -- my
parents are divorced) to go to a friend's wedding.  John was with me.
My mother was at my sister's parents weekend (at Yale -- boo, hiss :-)
so we had the house to ourselves.  We have slept together at home
before, but this time my mother left a note saying 'you can use my room
if you want' (!!).  When we went home for Thanksgiving, as my mother was
going up to bed (we were still watching TV), she said "Do you guys want
to use my bed?"  I mean, I knew my mother was fairly modern, liberal,
hip, etc. but this was ridiculous!  John and I almost died...

	Marie desJardins
	marie@harvard