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From: spaf@gatech.UUCP (Gene Spafford)
Newsgroups: net.social,net.singles
Subject: Re: Meeting the Parents - A Parent's View
Message-ID: <11280@gatech.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 12-Dec-84 00:16:28 EST
Article-I.D.: gatech.11280
Posted: Wed Dec 12 00:16:28 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 13-Dec-84 02:30:09 EST
References: <6468@brl-tgr.ARPA>
Reply-To: spaf@gatech.UUCP (Gene Spafford)
Distribution: net
Organization: The Clouds Project, School of ICS, Georgia Tech
Lines: 46
Xref: watmath net.social:350 net.singles:4836

>I can't help but think that the issues discussed on this net aren't the
>real ones.  It may not be "sex, vrginity, and children" at all.  Maybe
>your parents just don't care for your SO.  Should they?
>
>Brint

It isn't necessary, but it sure is to be wished for.  My parents are my
friends in a way that very few people ever will be.  They have forgiven
me incredible blunders and hurts, they have comforted me in times of
trouble and sorrow, they have constantly cheered me on and encouraged
me, and they have sometimes sacrificed things they themselves wanted
because it wasn't the best for us, as a family.  My parents are human
(and I'm Vegan -- figure that one out) -- they aren't always right, and
they aren't always good-natured about things.  Still, they've lived a
lot and developed some real wisdom, and I really care about their
opinion.

I'm taking Kathy home this Christmas to meet my folks -- because I want
them to meet this nifty lady who means so much to me, and I want her to
meet two terrific people I've known all my life. If they don't like
her, I'll be surprised.  It would also give me some pause for thought.
It probably wouldn't change our plans overmuch (I'm meeting her family
too, and we may start the New Year with some interesting resolutions --
film at 11), but it might cause me to pause a while to see if I could
understand their reasoning.  My parents have been right about a lot of
things more often than they have been wrong -- I'd be a fool to ignore
their opinions.  They expressed some reservations about the last one I
brought home to meet them, and they turned out to be right.

My parents and I understand that I'm an adult, free to make my own
choices (and mistakes).  I won't be asking for their approval, and
neither will they offer it (as such), for that would imply a control we
know they don't have.  I am asking them to accept somebody else as
"family," and give them an opportunity to perhaps glimpse the beauty in
that someone for themselves.  They're perceptive -- I think they'll
see.  And if not, well, I still see what I see.

You can't always choose your relatives, so it sure makes things easier
if you like 'em.  And respect them. And vice-versa.

...at least, that's how I answer your question.
-- 
Gene "8 months and counting" Spafford
The Clouds Project, School of ICS, Georgia Tech, Atlanta GA 30332
CSNet:	Spaf @ GATech		ARPA:	Spaf%GATech.CSNet @ CSNet-Relay.ARPA
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