Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 Fluke 8/7/84; site fluke.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxj!mhuxn!houxm!vax135!cornell!uw-beaver!microsoft!fluke!dbb From: dbb@fluke.UUCP (Dave Bartley) Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social Subject: Re: Meeting the Parents Message-ID: <815@vax1.fluke.UUCP> Date: Mon, 3-Dec-84 13:57:43 EST Article-I.D.: vax1.815 Posted: Mon Dec 3 13:57:43 1984 Date-Received: Tue, 4-Dec-84 23:50:08 EST References: <614@pucc-k>Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Everett, WA Lines: 44 Xref: watmath net.singles:4747 net.social:335 Wait a couple of days to reply to something and you're too late already. However, having just completed part 2 of Meet The Parents, I intend to duplicate some of the advice from several of the postings, hopefully in a different order. My fiancee and I have been cohabiting since mid-June (and virtually cohabiting for a few months before). The decision to do so was somewhat precipitate, but that's another story. Neither of our parental sets "approves" of living together out of wedlock nor would they start a full-scale nuclear confrontation over the matter. Having older siblings who have done the same prior to marriage, I had no problem with my parents. She was treated as a member of the family from the moment they met (OK, so I'm lucky to have parents like these...). With hers it was a more delicate matter, but they were basically neutral about it: "Well, it's your life." Well, she'd been through this sort of announcement some years previous, so it was easier this time. We just spent Thanksgiving with her parents. Having become engaged in September, and having announced said fact to her parents, improved their attitude toward our relationship, if not our present living arrangements. We decided well before going down there to make it clear to them that we didn't mind sleeping separately. After all, it's their home -- I'd do the same for my parents. We sleep together the rest of the time -- not that it was easy to adjust to sleeping alone (and not even in a waterbed! :-)). All went smoothly. I prefer keeping things open with the parents, within the limits of reason -- but it depends on your parents' disposition. However, I don't see any point in trying to get some moral point across to them or to assert one's adulthood by insisting on sleeping together under their roof, any more than I would allow them to dictate what I do under my own. That would be more difficult to insist upon if I were still financially dependent on my parents. Well, there it is. -- Dave Bartley UUCP: {decvax,ihnp4}!uw-beaver! John Fluke Mfg Co. {sun,allegra}! fluke!dbb Everett, WA USA {ucbvax,hplabs}!lbl-csam!