Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site rayssd.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!rayssd!hxe From: hxe@rayssd.UUCP Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social Subject: Re: Meeting the Parents Message-ID: <608@rayssd.UUCP> Date: Tue, 11-Dec-84 12:30:45 EST Article-I.D.: rayssd.608 Posted: Tue Dec 11 12:30:45 1984 Date-Received: Thu, 13-Dec-84 00:38:48 EST References: <344@hercules.UUCP> Organization: Raytheon Co., Portsmouth RI Lines: 54 Xref: watmath net.singles:4826 net.social:349 > I was wondering about this discussion about meeting the parents. >How old are these people who are having this horribly difficult time? 18? >20? Are there still people out there who are scared of big, bad mom and dad? >Maybe this whole discussion seems rather stupid to me because I'm 28 and >have been on my own for 6 years For the record, I am 28 and have been living away from home since I was 16 and went off to college, and, no, I am not afraid of my parents. >and don't have parents who live in the middle ages. Many of us don't have "parents who live in the middle ages." We do have parents who may or may not agree with us on any number of topics. >Christ, I know getting along with mommy and daddy is important, but if >they can't take reality, why the hell would you want to see them anyway? I >could understand if it was organic (an early case of Alzhiemer's) and you >just wanted to cheer them up, but we're supposedly talking about rational >human beings here. Sheesh! Yes, getting along with your parents *is* very important. Of course, if they disagree with your every basic value and refuse to think of you as an individual then, sure, stop seeing them. But I think most of us are somewhere in between. It matters to me, at any age, what my parents think of my friends because I value my parents opinion and I want the people who define my life (friends & family) to like each other. No, I wouldn't stop seeing someone just because "mommy and daddy" told me so (nor would they ever think of doing such a thing), but I would look closely at any reasons my parents gave me for not liking a friend of mine. I've been wrong before and so have they (which is why we usually wait until afterwards to give our opinions), but I value their input as I would value a comment from any close friend. I don't think I'm alone in this. As far as I can see from most of the comments on the net, this discussion is about respecting other people's wishes when on their turf. Of course I would do that for any friend, why not my parents? And, yes, I'm still nervous when I introduce a new SO to my parents - as nervous as I am when introducing him to my best friend. SOs come and go; best friends and parents are for life. It's valid to be concerned that the people in one part of your life like the people in another part of your life because, like it or not, we are defined by the company we keep. Also, on purely practical terms, it's a lot easier on everyone if people who are going to see each other on a regular basis don't take an active dislike for each other. -- --Heather Emanuel {allegra, decvax!brunix, linus, ccice5} rayssd!hxe -------------------------------------------------------------------- I don't think my company *has* an opinion, so the ones in this article are obviously my own. -------------------------------------------------------------------- "Such a foolish notion, that war is called devotion, when the greatest warriors are the ones who stand for peace."