Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site mcnc.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!mcnc!bch From: bch@mcnc.UUCP (Byron Howes) Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social Subject: Re: Meeting the Parents Message-ID: <2388@mcnc.UUCP> Date: Tue, 27-Nov-84 22:46:36 EST Article-I.D.: mcnc.2388 Posted: Tue Nov 27 22:46:36 1984 Date-Received: Fri, 30-Nov-84 07:19:48 EST References: <614@pucc-k>Reply-To: bch@mcnc.UUCP (Byron Howes) Organization: North Carolina Educational Computing Service Lines: 41 Summary: My wife and I cohabited for about three years before getting married. My parents didn't care, so there wasn't any problem there. October's parents being much more conservative did care, so we adopted a sort of passive deception with them. She sent them her new address and phone number. We kept two phones, so as to avoid embarassing phone answering problems (we still do, only one is now dedicated to the downstairs machine room.) Nobody asked (as parent's won't) and we didn't volunteer any information. When came the time for the great revelation, October had gotten used to the idea of telling her parents and her parents had accomodated themselves to hearing it (we know now,) so the projected confrontation was more of a family gathering. Never underestimate your parents -- they've been here longer than you. As for the sleeping arrangements, we've always observed a single rule. When your in somebody else's house, you obey their house rules as you would expect guests to do in your house. If they say no sleep in the same room, it's not your place to take a stand on your relationship. Later, on your own turf, maybe. This doesn't always work out, however. Before we were married we took a trip to Florida to check out my old haunts in Tampa and to visit my Aunt and Uncle (who tend to the bizarre) in Vero Beach. On the day of our arrival, my Aunt and Uncle decided to be liberal and let us sleep in the same room. We asked if they were sure and then collapsed. The next morning, they decided that they couldn't deal with it and then made such a big issue of it that we sort of sidled out the door in distinct discomfort. We still refer to that as "the time Byron's Uncle threw us out of the house." A couple of years ago *they* came to visit *us.* While we're too nice to do it, we really wanted to enforce *our* house rule -- you visit us, you sleep in the same bed! (They normally sleep separately.) Well, the thought was nice, anyway. -- Byron C. Howes ...!{decvax,akgua}!mcnc!ecsvax!bch