Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site whuxi.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxj!mhuxn!houxm!whuxl!whuxi!ktw From: ktw@whuxi.UUCP (WOLMAN) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Offensive to Italian Immigrants and Other Haters of Ethnic Humor Message-ID: <150@whuxi.UUCP> Date: Wed, 5-Dec-84 14:24:08 EST Article-I.D.: whuxi.150 Posted: Wed Dec 5 14:24:08 1984 Date-Received: Thu, 6-Dec-84 05:23:22 EST Organization: Bell Labs, Whippany, N.J. Lines: 59 TTTTHHHHEEEE IIIIMMMMMMMMIIIIGGGGRRRRAAAANNNNTTTT:::: AAAA TTTTrrrraaaaggggeeeeddddyyyy ooooffff CCCCoooommmmmmmmuuuunnnniiiiccccaaaattttiiiioooonnnnssss FFFFaaaaiiiilllluuuurrrreeee In 1904, a poor Italian immigrant, just debarked from steerage and quarantine at Ellis Island, arrives on Manhattan Island and decides to get himself a decent meal. He enters a cafe and sits down at one of the tables. Because it is the middle of lunch hour, the waitress is harried beyond belief, and forgets to put a fork at the immigrant's place setting. Very loudly he calls out to her in thickly accented English: "Eh! I wanna fuk onna table! I wanna fuk onna table!" The waitress, misunderstanding his request, flies into a rage and summons the manager, who flings the immigrant bodily into the street. The bemused immigrant dusts himself off and suddenly realizes he hasn't had a decent night's sleep since he left Naples two weeks before. He goes to a nearby hotel and gets a room. When he arrives, the chambermaid is making up his bed. She has not yet found a sheet. The immigrant calls out to her: "Eh! I wanna shit onna bed! I wanna shit onna bed!" The chambermaid, like the waitress before her, misunderstands the immigrant's request. She screams for the house detective, who drags the poor immigrant down the stairs and flings him into the street. The immigrant decides to have a drink. He marches into a saloon, and five minutes later sails through the swinging doors into the street, landing on the curb. A passing police officer witnesses the scene and helps the immigrant to his feet. "And what moyt the trouble be, me man?" the cop enquires. "Eh!" says the immigrant. "I can unnastan' dey getta mad when I say I wanna fuk onna table. I can unnastan' dey getta mad when I say I wanna shit onna bed! But I CANNA unnastan' why dey getta so mad when I singa a good 'Merican song!" "And what moyt you have been singin', me good man?" asks the cop. """"YYYYaaaannnnkkkkaaaa mmmmyyyy ddddooooooooddddlllleeee,,,, iiiitttt''''ssss aaaa ddddaaaannnnddddyyyy!!!!""""