Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site mcnc.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!mcnc!bch
From: bch@mcnc.UUCP (Byron Howes)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social
Subject: Re: Meeting the Parents
Message-ID: <2388@mcnc.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 27-Nov-84 22:46:36 EST
Article-I.D.: mcnc.2388
Posted: Tue Nov 27 22:46:36 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 30-Nov-84 07:19:48 EST
References: <614@pucc-k> 
Reply-To: bch@mcnc.UUCP (Byron Howes)
Organization: North Carolina Educational Computing Service
Lines: 41
Summary: 

My wife and I cohabited for about three years before getting married.  My
parents didn't care, so there wasn't any problem there.  October's parents
being much more conservative did care, so we adopted a sort of passive
deception with them.

She sent them her new address and phone number.  We kept two phones, so
as to avoid embarassing phone answering problems (we still do, only one
is now dedicated to the downstairs machine room.)  Nobody asked (as
parent's won't) and we didn't volunteer any information.

When came the time for the great revelation, October had gotten used to
the idea of telling her parents and her parents had accomodated themselves
to hearing it (we know now,) so the projected confrontation was more of
a family gathering.  Never underestimate your parents -- they've been here
longer than you.

As for the sleeping arrangements, we've always observed a single rule.
When your in somebody else's house, you obey their house rules as you
would expect guests to do in your house.  If they say no sleep in the
same room, it's not your place to take a stand on your relationship.
Later, on your own turf, maybe.

This doesn't always work out, however.  Before we were married we took
a trip to Florida to check out my old haunts in Tampa and to visit
my Aunt and Uncle (who tend to the bizarre) in Vero Beach.  On the day
of our arrival, my Aunt and Uncle decided to be liberal and let us
sleep in the same room.  We asked if they were sure and then collapsed.
The next morning, they decided that they couldn't deal with it and
then made such a big issue of it that we sort of sidled out the door
in distinct discomfort.  We still refer to that as "the time Byron's
Uncle threw us out of the house."

A couple of years ago *they* came to visit *us.*  While we're too nice
to do it, we really wanted to enforce *our* house rule -- you visit us,
you sleep in the same bed! (They normally sleep separately.)  Well,
the thought was nice, anyway.

-- 

						Byron C. Howes
				      ...!{decvax,akgua}!mcnc!ecsvax!bch