Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site ptsfa.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!sdcsvax!sdcrdcf!hplabs!hpda!fortune!amdcad!amd!dual!ptsfa!bdp From: bdp@ptsfa.UUCP (Barbara Petersen) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Women's preferences Message-ID: <396@ptsfa.UUCP> Date: Fri, 7-Dec-84 23:46:03 EST Article-I.D.: ptsfa.396 Posted: Fri Dec 7 23:46:03 1984 Date-Received: Mon, 10-Dec-84 02:13:28 EST Distribution: net Organization: Pacific Bell, San Francisco Lines: 35 Thus far, the responses to this posting seem to ignore what I would consider the "other side of the coin"-- guys who'd like to believe that most women prefer men who are assholes. In some of the cases mentioned, it does seem clear that the women involved actually *do* seem to go for jerks (i.e. the woman admits the man's an asshole). In general, though, I think that the idea that "women don't like nice guys, women prefer assholes" is at least partially a convenient fiction for men. How so? Consider the man who has just been rejected-- his ego is bruised, the question of "what's he got that I haven't got?" is starting to raise its ugly head. The realities of the situation might not be so easy to take. Maybe he's just not as nice a guy as he thinks he is. Maybe he'll have to rethink his ideas about what type(s) of women are "right" for him. If, for whatever reason, he's not willing and/or ready to examine just why the relationship failed-- well, he needs another way to put things back together. So, he reassures himself-- "the other guy's just some asshole". And then an ugly little stereotype creeps in-- "women like to be abused". Bingo! He had nothing to do with the breakup; he's just a nice guy who can't win. It's the woman's fault; she has an abuse fetish, and found someone who'd abuse her. The same thing happens again (it worked well last time!), some of his friends report similar experiences, and before long, he believes it too. Women don't want nice guys, nice guys finish last; women prefer men who are assholes. So-- do women really prefer assholes? Maybe a few do; I suspect that they're in the minority. I think that a little truth got mixed in with a good dose of "creative thinking", and created a belief that is much more prevalent than it is true. Barbara Petersen ..!dual!ptsfa!bdp "When I face life's great computer, let it be said that, though I was spindled and mutilated, I didn't fold."