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From: dbb@fluke.UUCP (Dave Bartley)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social
Subject: Re: Meeting the Parents
Message-ID: <815@vax1.fluke.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 3-Dec-84 13:57:43 EST
Article-I.D.: vax1.815
Posted: Mon Dec  3 13:57:43 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 4-Dec-84 23:50:08 EST
References: <614@pucc-k> 
Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Everett, WA
Lines: 44
Xref: watmath net.singles:4747 net.social:335

Wait a couple of days to reply to something and you're too late
already.  However, having just completed part 2 of Meet The Parents,
I intend to duplicate some of the advice from several of the
postings, hopefully in a different order.

My fiancee and I have been cohabiting since mid-June (and virtually
cohabiting for a few months before).  The decision to do so was
somewhat precipitate, but that's another story.

Neither of our parental sets "approves" of living together out of
wedlock nor would they start a full-scale nuclear confrontation over
the matter.  Having older siblings who have done the same prior to
marriage, I had no problem with my parents.  She was treated as a
member of the family from the moment they met (OK, so I'm lucky to
have parents like these...).  With hers it was a more delicate
matter, but they were basically neutral about it:  "Well, it's your
life."  Well, she'd been through this sort of announcement some
years previous, so it was easier this time.

We just spent Thanksgiving with her parents.  Having become engaged
in September, and having announced said fact to her parents, improved
their attitude toward our relationship, if not our present living
arrangements.  We decided well before going down there to make it
clear to them that we didn't mind sleeping separately.  After all,
it's their home -- I'd do the same for my parents.  We sleep
together the rest of the time -- not that it was easy to adjust to
sleeping alone (and not even in a waterbed! :-)).  All went
smoothly.

I prefer keeping things open with the parents, within the limits of
reason -- but it depends on your parents' disposition.  However, I
don't see any point in trying to get some moral point across to them
or to assert one's adulthood by insisting on sleeping together under
their roof, any more than I would allow them to dictate what I do
under my own.  That would be more difficult to insist upon if I were
still financially dependent on my parents.

Well, there it is.

-- 

Dave Bartley	  UUCP:	{decvax,ihnp4}!uw-beaver!
John Fluke Mfg Co.		   {sun,allegra}! fluke!dbb
Everett, WA  USA	{ucbvax,hplabs}!lbl-csam!