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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!rayssd!hxe
From: hxe@rayssd.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social
Subject: Re: Meeting the Parents
Message-ID: <608@rayssd.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 11-Dec-84 12:30:45 EST
Article-I.D.: rayssd.608
Posted: Tue Dec 11 12:30:45 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 13-Dec-84 00:38:48 EST
References: <344@hercules.UUCP>
Organization: Raytheon Co., Portsmouth RI
Lines: 54
Xref: watmath net.singles:4826 net.social:349


>	I was wondering about this discussion about meeting the parents.
>How old are these people who are having this horribly difficult time? 18?
>20? Are there still people out there who are scared of big, bad mom and dad?
>Maybe this whole discussion seems rather stupid to me because I'm 28 and
>have been on my own for 6 years

For the record, I am 28 and have been living away from home since I was
16 and went off to college, and, no, I am not afraid of my parents.

>and don't have parents who live in the middle ages.

Many of us don't have "parents who live in the middle ages."  We do
have parents who may or may not agree with us on any number of topics.

>Christ, I know getting along with mommy and daddy is important, but if
>they can't take reality, why the hell would you want to see them anyway? I
>could understand if it was organic (an early case of Alzhiemer's) and you
>just wanted to cheer them up, but we're supposedly talking about rational
>human beings here. Sheesh!

Yes, getting along with your parents *is* very important.  Of course, if
they disagree with your every basic value and refuse to think of you as
an individual then, sure, stop seeing them.  But I think most of us are
somewhere in between.  It matters to me, at any age, what my parents think
of my friends because I value my parents opinion and I want the people who
define my life (friends & family) to like each other.  No, I wouldn't stop
seeing someone just because "mommy and daddy" told me so (nor would they
ever think of doing such a thing), but I would look closely at any reasons
my parents gave me for not liking a friend of mine.  I've been wrong before
and so have they (which is why we usually wait until afterwards to give
our opinions), but I value their input as I would value a comment from any
close friend.

I don't think I'm alone in this.  As far as I can see from most of the
comments on the net, this discussion is about respecting other people's
wishes when on their turf.  Of course I would do that for any friend, why
not my parents?  And, yes, I'm still nervous when I introduce a new SO
to my parents - as nervous as I am when introducing him to my best friend.
SOs come and go; best friends and parents are for life.  It's valid to
be concerned that the people in one part of your life like the people in
another part of your life because, like it or not, we are defined by the
company we keep.  Also, on purely practical terms, it's a lot easier on
everyone if people who are going to see each other on a regular basis
don't take an active dislike for each other.

-- 
--Heather Emanuel {allegra, decvax!brunix, linus, ccice5} rayssd!hxe
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   I don't think my company *has* an opinion, so the ones in this
                  article are obviously my own.
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"Such a foolish notion, that war is called devotion,
 when the greatest warriors are the ones who stand for peace."