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Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/17/84 chuqui version 1.7 9/23/84; site nsc.UUCP
Path: utzoo!decvax!decwrl!sun!idi!nsc!singles-request
From: singles-request@nsc.UUCP (anonymous posting)
Newsgroups: mod.singles
Subject: Ambiguous Signals
Message-ID: <1766@nsc.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 28-Oct-84 19:02:52 EST
Article-I.D.: nsc.1766
Posted: Sun Oct 28 19:02:52 1984
Date-Received: Mon, 29-Oct-84 00:27:11 EST
Sender: chuqui@nsc.UUCP
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Approved: chuqui@nsc.UUCP

- - - mod.singles- - -          - - - Volume 1, Issue 18 - - -

Okay, Chuqui, you had your fling at translating
the signals--now it's my turn to interpret them:

Let's start with the worst case:  she thinks
the man in question is a cretin and just can't bring herself
to tell him so.  In that case, this would explain
being back from vacation and not calling, being
terse on the phone, etc.

However, if she answered an emphatic "Yes" to
the question, "do you still want to get together?"
then you can safely assume this case does not hold.
Even the most timid person can say, "Uh. . .yeah,"
or "I don't know--I have a lot to do this week,"
or otherwise hedge.  If you get anything OTHER
than an emphatic yes, then you have to dig deeper
and wonder why she's holding back (for she IS).

She might have had her boyfriend in the office
at the time and might have felt uncomfortable
talking about a date with you. . .:-)

She might have the phobias about answering
machines, calling you up, being the agressor,
etc.

I reiterate:  leave her plenty of opportunities
to say yes, plain and simple--and if you start getting
a string of ambiguities, it's time to wonder.

Remember, not all of us out here are teeth-kickers!!
We are nice people who can appreciate a gentleman
when we see one, and therefore can't find a good
way to decline gracefully without hurting him at all,
and without feeling guilty.

Chuq, you're right in that you shouldn't assume
that your insecurities are hers, nor that she absolutely
does not want to go out with you--but you can't assume
that she knows how to decline with thanks, either.
Give her room to say "yes" OR "no."
(I try to do this myself.)

Deevie

"Isn't `Amazing Grace' hoogie-boogie enough?"

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