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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxj!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!uiucdcs!smu!mike
From: mike@smu.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.startrek
Subject: Phaser Functions
Message-ID: <18200019@smu.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 6-Nov-84 17:48:00 EST
Article-I.D.: smu.18200019
Posted: Tue Nov  6 17:48:00 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 9-Nov-84 06:20:11 EST
Lines: 31
Nf-ID: #N:smu:18200019:000:1126
Nf-From: smu!mike    Nov  6 16:48:00 1984

Please pardon me if this topic has popped up before.

Let's face it: the phaser is the ultimate intelligent weapon.  It only
affects axactly that chunk of matter which the wielder desires
affected.  Here's my list of phaser functions:

1.	Stun.  Not used nearly as often as you would think.  Seems to me
that this would give everybody a weapon like Spock's shoulder pinch.

2.  Make-object-turn-blue-and-go-away.  Frequently used.

3.  Make-object-explode.  I saw this in "Private Little War".  In this
episode, we also learn that communicators, when applied correctly, can
make huge rocks come tumbling down a hillside.

4.  Make-object-get-real-hot.  Can't remember the episode,; Zulu and
some guys heat up a rock in an attempt to get warm.

5.  Supply-power-for-shuttlecraft.  Happens in "Galileo 7".

6.  Kill-people-but-don't-remove-bodies.  Seems to me that the beam is
red when this happens.

7.  Overload-and-cause-vast-destruction.  The ultimate effect.

I'm sure there are many, many more.  How can the federation loose when
every serviceman carries this kind of destructive force?

Mike McNally
...convex!smu!mike