Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/17/84 chuqui version 1.7 9/23/84; site nsc.UUCP Path: utzoo!decvax!decwrl!sun!idi!nsc!singles-request From: singles-request@nsc.UUCP (anonymous posting) Newsgroups: mod.singles Subject: Ambiguous Signals Message-ID: <1766@nsc.UUCP> Date: Sun, 28-Oct-84 19:02:52 EST Article-I.D.: nsc.1766 Posted: Sun Oct 28 19:02:52 1984 Date-Received: Mon, 29-Oct-84 00:27:11 EST Sender: chuqui@nsc.UUCP Organization: the moderator Lines: 53 Approved: chuqui@nsc.UUCP - - - mod.singles- - - - - - Volume 1, Issue 18 - - - Okay, Chuqui, you had your fling at translating the signals--now it's my turn to interpret them: Let's start with the worst case: she thinks the man in question is a cretin and just can't bring herself to tell him so. In that case, this would explain being back from vacation and not calling, being terse on the phone, etc. However, if she answered an emphatic "Yes" to the question, "do you still want to get together?" then you can safely assume this case does not hold. Even the most timid person can say, "Uh. . .yeah," or "I don't know--I have a lot to do this week," or otherwise hedge. If you get anything OTHER than an emphatic yes, then you have to dig deeper and wonder why she's holding back (for she IS). She might have had her boyfriend in the office at the time and might have felt uncomfortable talking about a date with you. . .:-) She might have the phobias about answering machines, calling you up, being the agressor, etc. I reiterate: leave her plenty of opportunities to say yes, plain and simple--and if you start getting a string of ambiguities, it's time to wonder. Remember, not all of us out here are teeth-kickers!! We are nice people who can appreciate a gentleman when we see one, and therefore can't find a good way to decline gracefully without hurting him at all, and without feeling guilty. Chuq, you're right in that you shouldn't assume that your insecurities are hers, nor that she absolutely does not want to go out with you--but you can't assume that she knows how to decline with thanks, either. Give her room to say "yes" OR "no." (I try to do this myself.) Deevie "Isn't `Amazing Grace' hoogie-boogie enough?" -- Mod.singles postings should be mailed to 'nsc!singles' administrivia should be mailed to 'nsc!singles-request' nsc talks to {cbosgd,decwrl,fortune,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo}