Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site rocksvax.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!princeton!rocksvax!dw From: dw@rocksvax.UUCP (Don Wegeng) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Te: teases Message-ID: <507@rocksvax.UUCP> Date: Sun, 7-Oct-84 18:00:35 EDT Article-I.D.: rocksvax.507 Posted: Sun Oct 7 18:00:35 1984 Date-Received: Mon, 8-Oct-84 04:18:44 EDT References:Reply-To: dw@rocksvax.UUCP (Don Wegeng) Organization: Xerox Lines: 52 Summary: In article chabot@amber.DEC (Lisa S. Chabot) writes: > >I'll admit I may have missed some of this discussion about teases in which >the agreed upon definition of a tease, but, well, let me try something: >teasing is (partially) in the eye of the beholder? Let's define teasing before we go very far with this. My definition of teasing is to encourage a partner to make imtimate advances, but then stop them when they actually make the advance. Usually this is accompanied by a statement such as "I'm not that kind of girl/guy". Is teasing in the eye of the beholder? In the most general sense yes, but so is every other impression that you make in life. >But >isn't there something in the tendency to believe that a person's mere >attractiveness can be considered part of a come-on? Being attractive in itself is not part of the come-on. However, a person can certainly use their attractiveness for this purpose by wearing clothes which send the message, etc. >...here's another issue. Young women >are indoctrinated to want to be attractive (included in this are looks, >clothing, and charm), and yet are discouraged from facing their sexuality. >We're all supposed to be pretty and get the attention of men, but sex is a >Bad Thing, and sometimes the unmentionability of S** is so much that one >doesn't know what do when It looms (causing a panic reaction). > >I imagine something similar could happen to men--the stress on being attractive >and charming, combined with the spookiness created about Sex. I would describe it a bit differently, but I think that we're saying the same basic thing. The words "attractive" and "charming" don't sound quite right to me. Maybe "interesting" would be better. And don't forget that young men are also taught to be interesting, but in different ways. I don't believe that all teasing is done on purpose (but would you argue that some of it isn't?). However, one would think that after being in the "real world" for a few years people would have figured out how to deal with the pressures of male/female relationships. Then again, maybe I'm not being realistic. -- /Don Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig. arpa: Wegeng.Henr@Xerox.ARPA uucp: {allegra,princeton,decvax!rochester,amd,sunybcs}!rocksvax!dw || ihnp4!tropix!ritcv!rocksvax!dw