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Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site genrad.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!harvard!wjh12!genrad!carlton
From: carlton@genrad.UUCP (Carl Hommel)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Dead Cat joke (not offensive)
Message-ID: <402@genrad.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 10-Oct-84 14:52:18 EDT
Article-I.D.: genrad.402
Posted: Wed Oct 10 14:52:18 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 12-Oct-84 04:52:03 EDT
Organization: GenRad, Bolton, Mass.
Lines: 31

When my roommate from college got married, I was his best man.  One of the
duties and obligations I faced was taking care of his cat while he and
his wife were on their honeymoon.  We had the following conversation
during his idyllic romp:

    "Hello, Carl.  Any interesting news from the real world?"
    "Why, yes, now that you mention it.  Your cat died."
    "My cat died!?  Oh, no.  God, Carl, couldn't you have broken it to me
gently?  Have you no compassion?  Where is your sense of decency?  It is bad
form to give such disturbing news to newlyweds on their honeymoon!"
    "Ah..."
    "You should have broke it to me over a few days!  Today, you call, and in
response to my question, you say
	'Why, yes, now that you mention it.  Your cat is on the roof.'
Then, the next time we talk, you say,
	'Bad news, Jon - your cat fell off the roof and hurt its back.  The
    vets are giving it emergency care even as we speak.'
Later, after I have had time to realize the situation, and have come to
accept that all flesh is as grass, you call in the middle of the night to say,
	'I'm sorry, Jon.  your cat died.'
That way, the emotional jolt is spread over several days.  Have you got that?"
    "Yes, Jon."
    "Good!  Who knows, maybe you will be fit for polite society sometime this
century.  Any other news?"
    "Why, yes, now that you mentioned it.  Your mother is on the roof."


		Carl Hommel
Husband: Yeeowwumph!
Wife: Dear, you shouldn't let the kittens do that.  They might hurt their
    claws on your kneecaps.