Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxj!houxm!hogpc!hogpd!keduh From: keduh@hogpd.UUCP (D.HUDEK) Newsgroups: net.flame Subject: SWIMMING flame Message-ID: <404@hogpd.UUCP> Date: Tue, 9-Oct-84 18:27:56 EDT Article-I.D.: hogpd.404 Posted: Tue Oct 9 18:27:56 1984 Date-Received: Wed, 10-Oct-84 06:22:33 EDT Lines: 92 <<||>> This flame will in all probability [does that mean 1.0 ?] be absolutely meaningless to the great majority of you out there, so maybe I'd better offend y'all some first [just so you won't feel left out :-) ] Ahem... Let's see.... you stink !! No... not very original, and not strong enough either... How about... Go snort some molten lead you slimy-faced vacuous cretins !!! Hmmm... still lacks something... Oh f*ck it, I'll work on it and have something for y'all next time. (Hey, where did the vowel in f*ck go ? There! It happened again!) ANYWAY.... Godd*mn it !! What the f*ck is wrong with *ssh*le people who swim slowly in the fast lane !!??!! I'm speaking about lap swimming for exercise here [no, not REALLY here you idiot :-), I mean in a swimming pool... like at the Y], and the totally insensitive imbeciles who complacently thrash around in the wrong f*cking lane !!! Where I swim, the lanes are separated according to swimming ability [e.g., slow swimmers in lanes 1 and 6, med. in 2 and 5, and fast in lanes 3 and 4]. The lanes are CLEARLY marked and yet some moronic durf-balls insist on ignoring the established rules. I just can't figure out what goes through their minds [if they have any!]. After blocking everyone else for a while, you'd think they'd get the message.... especially if they are being lapped once every 4 lengths !! The rest of us must try to pass them, only to be creamed by the person coming the other way. Why don't they go to the lanes where people of the same ability are swimming ?!!? Are they that stupid ?!!? Presumably we're all there to get some exercise. In order to benefit from exercise, one must work a bit and get that heart pumping somewhat faster than it does while one sleeps, no? But when you're stuck behind some anus-face who is barely creeping along, you get nothing but ulcers. You must take your life in your hands and pass them, usually forcing a 3-abreast situation since there's usually someone coming back the other way. At best, you've thrown off you rhythm, gotten a mouth full of water, and almost nailed somebody else. At worst, you get a kick in the mouth followed by a resounding blow to the head as you crash head-on into someone else. By now, if anyone is still reading this [which I doubt... hey if no-one reads this I can put anything here I damn well want to. How about some proprietary stuff like $!@#$%@^$@#!%. Hey, how come that wouldn't print? Let me try again. I know for a fact that !@$#!@%#^^%%$#$%@@#!@@#%$#$@^$%^^%. Sh*t, looks like ATT has some sort of a censoring mechanism installed here. :-) I guess I'd better go on with my flame...], I'm sure you are wondering, "Well, why in hell don't you just stop the offending party and calmly suggest that they go in another lane ?" I have and usually it JUST DOESN'T WORK !! For it to work, the party in question would have to have a functioning brain as well as the ability to understand spoken English. They seem to understand English, but I can't vouch for their brains. First they say something like, "I'm a fantastic swimmer and I'm not getting in anyone's way." After you point out that this is not entirely true, they simply retort that it's not that big a problem and you shouldn't have the audacity to question them! After you point out some new bruises caused by them, they will counter with "I pay just as much to swim here as you do." So f*cking what ?!!?? Is that any reason to ruin it for everyone... if they would just get in the appropriate lane, life would be just grand for all concerned ! Well, I usually then complain to the life-guard who will sometimes get the *ssh*les to move, but why should I have to do that... can't they see what a pain in the *ss they're being to everyone ?!? God, how can someone be so dense ?!!? Oh well.... I've got a new solution. From now on, I'll just swim butterfly for a while and "accidentally-on-purpose" knock them around as I pass... and maybe I could sort of flip-turn onto their heads every once in a while... :-) If I made their life miserable enough, maybe they'd leave. [ well.... maybe not, but I'd sure like to! ] WHEW !!!! Boy, it sure feels good to get that off my chest !!! * * \ / _____ / \ | ` ' | {ihnp4! or pegasus!} hogpd!keduh | > | | _ | \___/