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Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site sdcrdcf.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!hao!hplabs!sdcrdcf!sue
From: sue@sdcrdcf.UUCP (Susan Haseltine)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: teases
Message-ID: <1378@sdcrdcf.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 11-Oct-84 19:12:40 EDT
Article-I.D.: sdcrdcf.1378
Posted: Thu Oct 11 19:12:40 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 13-Oct-84 03:41:18 EDT
References: <3836@decwrl.UUCP> <2350@sdcc3.UUCP>
Reply-To: sue@sdcrdcf.UUCP (Susan Haseltine)
Organization: System Development Corp. R+D, Santa Monica
Lines: 48
Summary: Teasees vs Teases

[  bug screen ]

When the subject of male teases was first brought up 
it seemed to me that there was the possibility of a 
real misunderstanding going on.  Now that Lady Arwen has
revealed her dark secret it seems that there are at least 
two misconceptions loose in net.singles with which I would 
like to battle.

To the original poster - Laurie Sefton

There are always two parties to the teasing experience, the teasee
and the teaser.  I grant the existence of "the tease".  Mind you,
I don't recall ever having met this creature in the male form,
and that I'm not willing to give final judgement on any woman
I have been told is a tease.  What I know exists from most personal
experience is the TEASEE.  To wit, needing emotional and
physical exercise and seeing an attractive MOTOS, I start a flirtation.
This individual, perceiving a friendly MOTOS flirting with him
flirts back.  Note, mostly this man is responding to my signals -
I talk bawdy, he replies in kind.  Now it is my guess that guys
in general don't necessarily expect that every woman who flirts
with them wants to bed them, so that they might feel safer in this
scenario than a woman who knows "what he's after".  So I invite
the fellow to a movie, or to diner or on a hike with the intention
of getting him in bed.  Maybe he knows, but chances are he doesn't
and finds himself in a very embarrassing situation.  In any case,
I have got my emotions very stirred up, and boy am I pissed at
him!  Of course, as you might guess, I eventually look at things
a bit more reasonably, and I hope you will too.

Ah, Lady Arwen, you truly are one of the most reasonable sorts
on this net.  Even if you seem to blow my theory that there are
no teases only teasees.  I see the experiences you describe as
being a result of wanting both to be in control of the situation
and to have sexual/emotional gratification.  This is not a "natural"
for us women as it seems to be for men, at least not theoretically.
If the poor shy victims of your sirens song were hurt, I do not
think that they were in more pain than you were in, when they revealed
their sufferings to you.  And I bet they got over it a lot faster too,
from the time frame you have mentioned.  I do not believe that,
by in large, we CAN deceive eachother.  I believe we can only
deceive ourselves, so broad is the bandwidth of our communications.

I'm not saying we shouldn't make an effort to be honest.  In fact,
unless we do, and make some effort to make sure we have been understood,
there is no telling what those other self-deceiving fools out 
there might think.