Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83 based; site houxu.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxj!houxm!houxu!welsch From: welsch@houxu.UUCP (Larry Welsch) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: RE: Kate Hepburn on sex life of today's college students Message-ID: <465@houxu.UUCP> Date: Sat, 20-Oct-84 09:57:42 EDT Article-I.D.: houxu.465 Posted: Sat Oct 20 09:57:42 1984 Date-Received: Sun, 21-Oct-84 14:47:42 EDT Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ Lines: 47 This is in response to Sharon Badian's article. Are young men and women jumping into sex too early? I will interpret "young" as college age, =>17. The answer to this is given current birth control technology no. What I do not know how to do is draw a barrier, is 16 too young, is 15 too young, is 14 too young, is 13 too young, is 12 too young. 12 and 13 to me is definitely too young, while 14, 15 and 16 do not seem as clear, while 17 seems okay. The question is really one of when can someone take full responsibility for their own actions and the consequences of those actions. There are some 12 year olds who can, while there are many adults who cann't. By the way any 12 year old I have considered responsible would not have sex. Unfortunately a lot of this depends on up bringing, and is very similar to alcohol. Where sex is restricted in the home, as in not discussed or recognized, I believe that it is very difficult to develop a healthy responsible attitude about sex. In homes where a person's sexuality is accepted from the time of birth as a part of the person, affection is freely shown, and sex is not a taboo topic, then I believe that the individual can decide for her/himself when to have sexual activity and what is appropriate. The same is true of alcohol, in homes where alcohol is considered evil people have a hard time dealing with it, where alcohol consumption is considered part of every day life people have no trouble dealing with it. when is someone emotionally and mentally mature enough to have sex? Each person must determine this for the themselves, and I do not believe that there is any sure sign like the development of pubic hair. First, I believe a person must know how to care deeply about their friends and this caring must be active, willing to sacrifice themselves for the good of others. Second, I believe a person must be able to recognize when she/he is being taken advantage of, used, or degraded. Third, I believe a person must have the ability to know when to end a relationship, when it is no longer of benefit. Further, the strength to end a bad relationship. Fourth, a person must be able to love themselves and others without the need for sex. Fifth, a person must have a self identity, and confidence in that identity. Have some of you out there ever wished you had waited a little longer? Started a little earlier? No. Larry Welsch houxu!welsch