Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 Fluke 8/7/84; site fluke.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxj!houxm!vax135!cornell!uw-beaver!ssc-vax!fluke!moriarty From: moriarty@fluke.UUCP (Jeff Meyer) Newsgroups: net.flame Subject: Hecklers and Other Jerks (A Rokyo Column) Message-ID: <1405@vax2.fluke.UUCP> Date: Fri, 28-Sep-84 16:44:59 EDT Article-I.D.: vax2.1405 Posted: Fri Sep 28 16:44:59 1984 Date-Received: Thu, 4-Oct-84 02:27:24 EDT Distribution: net Organization: Reading the funnies Lines: 166 On rare occasions, I find a reason to read The Seattle Times for a reason other than Bloom County, The Far Side, or the radio stations that play "All Things Considered". Mike Rokyo is definately one of them, and yesterday he wrote something that was so devestatingly accurate that I decided to repeat it here rather than using my own flame on the subject. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Among the bigger jerks in our society are people who attend a speech for the sole purpose of preventing the speaker from being heard. They are know as hecklers. Hecklers are becoming newsworthy because they've begun popping up at the campaign stops of Walter Mondale and Geraldine Ferraro. Especially Mondale's. Their tactics are simple enough. When Mondale starts talking, they start yelling, chanting, taunting, sneering and jeering. It's apparently not a spontaneous outburst. Hecklers in California say that they've been coached in the art of heckling by Reagan cam- paign workers. Nor do they think there's anything wrong with trying to prevent a political candidate from being heard. As on of their heckling coaches solemnly put it: "I think it is appropriate to have our people there to show their support for Ronald Reagan." That's the mark of the true jerk: You not only do something obnoxious, but you try to justify it as desirable behavior. If all they wanted to do was how that they sup- port Reagan, they could go to one of his rallies and cheer. But that's not what they're up to. They don't care about being heard. They just want to prevent Mondale from being heard. It's a big difference. Even Reagan tried to justify the heckling. Although he said he wished people wouldn't do it, he added" "I suppose if the speaker has a right to be heard, they've (the hecklers) got a right to be heard." Reagan didn't elaborate on his remarkable thought: that trying to prevent somebody else from speaking is an exercise in the right of free speech. George Orwell would have been fas- cinated. The question is, what do you do about hecklers? Some candidates try to win them over with charm, wit or humor. But it's wasted on jerks. If they had any wit, they wouldn't be standing there braying like jackasses. Others try to reason with them, which is also a waste of time. The political heckler is a first cousin of the sports spectator who dumps beer on an outfielder's head. How do you reason with a boob who dumps beer on your head? Some, such as Mondale, give them a stern lecture on fairness. That accomplishes nothing because the heckler is also a first cousin to the common vandal. And if you tried to lecture somebody who sprayed obscenities on your house, he'd sim- ply spray them on the front of your shirt. The fact is, jerks are immune to charm, wit, reason or fairness. That's why they're jerks. You can't explain to a jerk why it's wrong to push into the front of a line or let his dog dump on your lawn. If they weren't jerks, they wouldn't do it in the first place. No, history tells us that there is only one way to deal with a jerk. And that is with physical violence. I'm not talking about killing or maiming them. While that might be deserved, the ACLU would make a fuss. But when the hecklers appear, Mondale should first give them a warning. When they ignore the warning -- as jerks inevitably do -- he should leap from the speaker's platform and bash one of them in the nose. You wonder if I'm serious. Of course, I'm always serious. By punching them, Mondale would accomplish two goals. First, he's be rid of the hecklers. Jerks take themselves seriously, but that's hard to do when your nose is dripping blood on your tie. They would slink away. Second, and most important, he would turn his campaign around. He would experience a sudden and dramatic surge at the polls. He might even be elected. Why? Because Mondale's biggest liability is that he is perceived as being soft. A wimp, to use an unkind word. On the other hand, President Reagan -- because he gives such snappy salutes to the Marine guards when he gets off an airplane, and talks so tough to unknown terrorists every time they succeed in blowing up one of our embassies -- is thought of as a "man's man." Consider this: When John Wayne was heckled, what did he do? Of course. He threw the heckler through the barroom window. Nobody ever called the Duke a wimp. Sure, those were movies and this is real life. But so what? Reagan treats real life like the movies, so why shouldn't Mondale? All Mondale has to do is just slug a few of them. Then bark at the TV cameras "Let this be a warning to all enemies of free speech -- both here and abroad!", and he could start writing his inauguration address. The worst that could happen is that Mondale would lose the sizable jerk vote. But then, he never had it anyway. -Mike Rokyo copied without permission, 9/28/84 ------------------------------------------------------------------------- PS Before anyone flames me about printing without permission (the people who eagle-eye Joe Bob in net.movies), this column has been out two days... there shouldn't be any loss of profits, and I'm not planning on copying his other columns. "Are they being mistreated?" "Only by a few fanatics. Mostly local anchormen." Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc. UUCP: {cornell,decvax,ihnp4,sdcsvax,tektronix,utcsrgv}!uw-beaver \ {allegra,gatech!sb1,hplabs!lbl-csam,decwrl!sun,ssc-vax} -- !fluke!moriarty ARPA: fluke!moriarty@uw-beaver.ARPA