Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/3/84; site mhuxv.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!whuxlm!whuxl!houxm!mhuxj!mhuxr!mhuxv!segs From: segs@mhuxv.UUCP (slusky) Newsgroups: net.religion.jewish Subject: Who is a Jew (Mr. Martillo bites the worst bark) Message-ID: <186@mhuxv.UUCP> Date: Wed, 10-Oct-84 16:05:14 EDT Article-I.D.: mhuxv.186 Posted: Wed Oct 10 16:05:14 1984 Date-Received: Thu, 11-Oct-84 08:18:42 EDT Distribution: net Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Murray Hill Lines: 65 Now all you VusVusim, let's stop beating around the bush about this "Who is a Jew" business. Yaqim won't tell you this because of his natural reserve, good breeding, and politesse, so I'll just have to. To be a real Jew you have to be 1. Sefardi (bet you guessed that already) However, just being Sefardi is insufficient. We don't mean descendants of any of the garbage who hung around Spain too long or became Maranos we mean 2.Separdi tahor (pure) i.e. out of Spain before the inquisition really got going. But then also it's important that one fully understand the breadth of Jewish experience. Therefore, one must be descended from several branches or Sefardi culture for example 3. Of Libyan-Turkish-Italian descent In addition, in order to really grasp the depths of depravity to which VusVusim have sunk, one should be 4. Of Ashkenazi descent in some small fraction This is an unfortunate but true requirement for being really Jewish. In a similar vein, to really be Jewish one should have been 5. Educated at some of the best secular schools in America and have been 6. Employed for some time at the crown jewel of the Bell System ('alev has:alom) These are necessary to truly come to grips with the enemy and its ways. Also, both #'s 5 and 6 are effective at honing one's sense of self importance and arrogance, as anyone who's worked here can tell you. In addition, it is important not only to know a lot about Judaism and anti-Judaism (read westernized Judaism) but also to be involved in educating the world about J and anti J. Therefore, one should be an 7. Active publisher of normative Jewish thought. Publication in net.religion.jewish will, of course, suffice. A last but very important requirement is that one be 8. A real person. which lets me out. Unfortunately, the Jewish population in the world today has dwindled to such a small group that it is impossible to forsee how it will continue into the next generation without incest or cloning. Now that you have been properly informed, I hope that you VusVusim will go away and form net.religion.vusvus and leave this news group to the Jews. Estrallita Nassim Hmessa Albez -- mhuxv!segs