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From: moriarty@fluke.UUCP (Jeff Meyer)
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: Hecklers and Other Jerks (A Rokyo Column)
Message-ID: <1405@vax2.fluke.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 28-Sep-84 16:44:59 EDT
Article-I.D.: vax2.1405
Posted: Fri Sep 28 16:44:59 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 4-Oct-84 02:27:24 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: Reading the funnies
Lines: 166

On rare occasions, I find a reason to read The Seattle Times for a reason
other than Bloom County, The Far Side, or the radio stations that play "All
Things Considered".  Mike Rokyo is definately one of them, and yesterday he
wrote something that was so devestatingly accurate that I decided to repeat
it here rather than using my own flame on the subject.

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      Among the bigger jerks in our society are people
      who  attend  a  speech  for  the sole purpose of
      preventing the speaker from being  heard.   They
      are know as hecklers.

      Hecklers are becoming newsworthy because they've
      begun popping up at the campaign stops of Walter
      Mondale  and  Geraldine   Ferraro.    Especially
      Mondale's.

      Their tactics are simple enough.   When  Mondale
      starts  talking,  they  start yelling, chanting,
      taunting, sneering and jeering.

      It's  apparently  not  a  spontaneous  outburst.
      Hecklers  in  California  say  that they've been
      coached in the art of heckling  by  Reagan  cam-
      paign workers.

      Nor do they think there's  anything  wrong  with
      trying  to  prevent  a  political candidate from
      being heard.  As on of  their  heckling  coaches
      solemnly  put  it: "I think it is appropriate to
      have our people there to show their support  for
      Ronald Reagan."

      That's the mark of the true jerk: You  not  only
      do  something  obnoxious, but you try to justify
      it as desirable behavior.

      If all they wanted to do was how that they  sup-
      port Reagan, they could go to one of his rallies
      and cheer.  But that's not what they're  up  to.
      They  don't  care  about being heard.  They just
      want to prevent Mondale from being heard.   It's
      a big difference.

      Even  Reagan  tried  to  justify  the  heckling.
      Although  he  said  he wished people wouldn't do
      it, he added" "I suppose if the  speaker  has  a
      right  to be heard, they've (the hecklers) got a
      right to be heard."

      Reagan  didn't  elaborate  on   his   remarkable
      thought:  that  trying  to prevent somebody else
      from speaking is an exercise  in  the  right  of
      free speech.  George Orwell would have been fas-
      cinated.

      The question is, what do you do about hecklers?

      Some candidates try to win them over with charm,
      wit  or  humor.   But  it's wasted on jerks.  If

      they had any  wit,  they  wouldn't  be  standing
      there braying like jackasses.

      Others try to reason with them, which is also  a
      waste of time.  The political heckler is a first
      cousin of the sports spectator who dumps beer on
      an  outfielder's head.  How do you reason with a
      boob who dumps beer on your head?

      Some, such as Mondale, give them a stern lecture
      on  fairness.  That accomplishes nothing because
      the heckler is also a first cousin to the common
      vandal.   And  if  you tried to lecture somebody
      who sprayed obscenities on your house, he'd sim-
      ply spray them on the front of your shirt.

      The fact is, jerks are  immune  to  charm,  wit,
      reason  or  fairness.  That's why they're jerks.
      You can't explain to a jerk why  it's  wrong  to
      push  into  the  front  of a line or let his dog
      dump on your lawn.  If they weren't jerks,  they
      wouldn't do it in the first place.

      No, history tells us that there is only one  way
      to  deal with a jerk.  And that is with physical
      violence.

      I'm not talking about killing or  maiming  them.
      While  that  might  be  deserved, the ACLU would
      make a fuss.

      But when the  hecklers  appear,  Mondale  should
      first give them a warning.  When they ignore the
      warning -- as jerks inevitably do --  he  should
      leap from the speaker's platform and bash one of
      them in the nose.

      You wonder  if  I'm  serious.   Of  course,  I'm
      always serious.

      By punching them, Mondale would  accomplish  two
      goals.

      First, he's be rid of the hecklers.  Jerks  take
      themselves seriously, but that's hard to do when
      your nose is dripping blood on your  tie.   They
      would slink away.

      Second, and most important, he  would  turn  his
      campaign  around.   He would experience a sudden
      and dramatic surge at the polls.  He might  even
      be elected.

      Why?  Because  Mondale's  biggest  liability  is
      that  he is perceived as being soft.  A wimp, to
      use an unkind word.

      On the other hand, President Reagan  --  because
      he  gives  such  snappy  salutes  to  the Marine
      guards when he gets off an airplane,  and  talks
      so  tough  to unknown terrorists every time they
      succeed in blowing up one of our embassies -- is
      thought of as a "man's man."

      Consider this:  When  John  Wayne  was  heckled,
      what  did  he  do?   Of  course.   He  threw the
      heckler through the barroom window.  Nobody ever
      called the Duke a wimp.

      Sure, those were movies and this is  real  life.
      But  so  what?  Reagan treats real life like the
      movies, so why shouldn't Mondale?

      All Mondale has to do is  just  slug  a  few  of
      them.   Then bark at the TV cameras "Let this be
      a warning to all enemies of free speech --  both
      here  and  abroad!",  and he could start writing
      his inauguration address.

      The worst that  could  happen  is  that  Mondale
      would  lose the sizable jerk vote.  But then, he
      never had it anyway.

				-Mike Rokyo

copied without permission, 9/28/84

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PS Before anyone flames me about printing without permission (the people who
eagle-eye Joe Bob in net.movies), this column has been out two days... there
shouldn't be any loss of profits, and I'm not planning on copying his other
columns.

                        "Are they being mistreated?"
                        "Only by a few fanatics.  Mostly local anchormen."

					Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
					John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc.
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