Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site sdcc3.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!ittvax!dcdwest!sdcsvax!sdcc3!arwen From: arwen@sdcc3.UUCP (arwen) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: teases Message-ID: <2350@sdcc3.UUCP> Date: Wed, 10-Oct-84 21:19:14 EDT Article-I.D.: sdcc3.2350 Posted: Wed Oct 10 21:19:14 1984 Date-Received: Sat, 13-Oct-84 02:55:46 EDT References: <3836@decwrl.UUCP> Organization: U.C. San Diego, Computer Center Lines: 45 [] All right, I'm going to post this. I've been arguing with myself about it for awhile, it's pretty personal, but ... Anyone who doesn't like reading unpleasant personal analyses should hit delete right now... I guess you might call me a tease. I'm getting over it now, I fervently hope, but in the past I've been in the habit of dressing sexy, paying a lot of attention to a guy I found attractive and trying to get him interested in me. For some reason this generally succeeded and the two of us would end up kissing passionately; then I'd explain awkwardly that I had a boyfriend, and that while I had a rather unusual and somewhat open relationship with him I couldn't consider a "relationship" with someone else. I was looking for one-night stands, I guess. Or more exactly, I wanted to share a neat physical experience with the person, then go back to being the same kind of friends we had been before. (Wanted to have my cake and eat it too -- no responsibilities -- I guess) I don't fit the full sense of the word, because I *was* willing to get involved physically a certain amount (sometimes more than the guy was ready for) but I didn't want to turn what was usually a casual friendship into anything more than that (unless maybe they were willing to consider a casual friendship plus some friendly necking now and then, which nobody ever was), and that's where I was teasing. God, I feel like a cad writing this. I can't believe I'm posting this. I've been trying to cure myself, because this is so cruel to people, and I still don't understand why I'm able to "hook" so many in the first place, except maybe that I'm aggressive in a relationship and the guys I'm attracted to are generally shy (oh god, the worst kind to hurt!). I'm rambling. Maybe someone out there has an explanation as to why I do this? I really wish I knew, then I could stop. It's only happened 4 times in the last 3 years, but that's more than enough people hurt. Ick. The reason I'm posting this is that a lot of people out there seem to like me, kind of, and thus this is either going to change their perspective on teases or change their perspective on me...and if it does the latter, guess I deserve it. I've been "good" for the last 8 months, maybe I'm cured for good this time... Very, very quietly, -- -=< Lady Arwen >=- ...sdcsvax!sdcc3!arwen ...tea in the Sahara with you...