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From: welsch@houxu.UUCP (Larry Welsch)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: RE: Kate Hepburn on sex life of today's college students
Message-ID: <465@houxu.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 20-Oct-84 09:57:42 EDT
Article-I.D.: houxu.465
Posted: Sat Oct 20 09:57:42 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 21-Oct-84 14:47:42 EDT
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ
Lines: 47

This is in response to Sharon Badian's article.  

	Are young men and women jumping into sex too early?

I will interpret "young" as college age, =>17. The answer to this is given
current birth control technology no. What I do not know how to do is draw
a barrier, is 16 too young, is 15 too young, is 14 too young, is 13 too
young, is 12 too young. 12 and 13 to me is definitely too young, while 14,
15 and 16 do not seem as clear, while 17 seems okay. The question is
really one of when can someone take full responsibility for their own
actions and the consequences of those actions. There are some 12 year olds
who can, while there are many adults who cann't. By the way any 12 year
old I have considered responsible would not have sex.

Unfortunately a lot of this depends on up bringing, and is very similar to
alcohol.  Where sex is restricted in the home, as in not discussed or
recognized, I believe that it is very difficult to develop a healthy
responsible attitude about sex.  In homes where a person's sexuality is
accepted from the time of birth as a part of the person, affection is
freely shown, and sex is not a taboo topic, then I believe that the
individual can decide for her/himself when to have sexual activity and
what is appropriate.  The same is true of alcohol, in homes where alcohol
is considered evil people have a hard time dealing with it, where alcohol
consumption is considered part of every day life people have no trouble
dealing with it.

	when is someone emotionally and mentally mature enough to have sex?

Each person must determine this for the themselves, and I do not believe
that there is any sure sign like the development of pubic hair.  First, I
believe a person must know how to care deeply about their friends and this
caring must be active, willing to sacrifice themselves for the good of
others. Second, I believe a person must be able to recognize when she/he
is being taken advantage of, used, or degraded.  Third, I believe a person
must have the ability to know when to end a relationship, when it is no
longer of benefit.  Further, the strength to end a bad relationship.
Fourth, a person must be able to love themselves and others without the
need for sex.  Fifth, a person must have a self identity, and confidence
in that identity. 

	Have some of you out there ever wished you had waited a little longer?
	Started a little earlier?

No.

							Larry Welsch
							houxu!welsch