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From: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuqles)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: 'Loving Each Other' review/recommendation
Message-ID: <1479@nsc.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 19-Sep-84 19:37:15 EDT
Article-I.D.: nsc.1479
Posted: Wed Sep 19 19:37:15 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 25-Sep-84 06:15:49 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: Clown Alley
Lines: 52

I've just finished a book that I think many out there are (or should be)
interested in. The Book is 'Loving Each Other' by Dr. Leo Buscaglia (Slack,
$13.95). For those that don't already know, Dr. Buscaglia is a professor of
education at the University of Spoiled Children, uh, University of Southern
California. 

This book feels much differently to me than his previous books. It's tone
is much more somber than 'Living, Loving, and Learning' was and includes a
lot more firm data (and a lot less Buscaglia rhetoric that some people find
disconcerting). It is a very serious discussion of relationships (romantic
and otherwise), what they mean and what they require. The basis of the book
is a survey of people where he asked questions about what they felt
relationships were and what was important to them. What I found interesting
was that the audience he surveyed seems to be VERY similar to the
net.singles readership-- high education (1/6th had masters or more) and a
large interest in relationships and making them work. He uses the
information culled from these questionaires (600 in all) to define various
parts of relationships and discuss how to improve these areas and how to
make them work. There is a fairly large bibliography in the back and he
refers to other works when appropriate. 

I found a lot of material of interest in the book and I plan on working
with the material in more detail when I re-read it. I think that this book
doesn't hold some of the disadvantages of other Buscaglia books (some
people are turned off when he starts frothing like he tends to) and has a
lot to say. Track it down and read it with someone you love-- it can't
hurt, and it will probably open avenues to explore than can make things
much better. Highly recommended.

Excerpt:
    Happiness and true freedom come only when we assume full responsibility
    for who and what we are. As long as we feel comfortable putting blame
    on others, we will never be required to evaluate and change our own
    behaviors. We blame parents for lack of love, response, nurturing. We
    blame society for keeping us from total freedom. We blame friends,
    lovers, teachers, even life. As long as we can pass the blame, we feel
    no neccessity to change our own lives. After all, we are victims. There
    are those who even blame God for their misfortune and unhappiness. I
    have heard people say "I'll never forgive God for doing that to me!".
    What egos! These people see themselves as helpless and hopeless and a
    part of an existence in which they have no control. they confortably
    sit back in self-pity-- waiting for lovers, family, or God to "put it
    all right" for them. Sadly, many of them waste a valuable lifetime
    waiting!


-- 
From the spotlight of the center ring:		Chuqles Von Rospach
{amd,decwrl,fortune,hplabs,ihnp4}!nsc!chuqui	nsc!chuqui@decwrl.ARPA

Never force anyone to do anything for you 'in the
name of love.' Love is not to be bargained for.