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From: gmm@bunker.UUCP (Gregory M. Mandas)
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: Re: Dueling A**holes
Message-ID: <571@bunker.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 11-Oct-84 15:24:26 EDT
Article-I.D.: bunker.571
Posted: Thu Oct 11 15:24:26 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 13-Oct-84 01:53:15 EDT
References: <869@ihuxe.UUCP> <> <207@zinfandel.UUCP> <408@amd.UUCP> <5170@brl-tgr.ARPA>
Organization: Bunker Ramo, Trumbull Ct
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[]

Are you sure?


> 5) Dueling Assholes - This is when several cars are driving side by side,
>    effectively blocking the entire road so that no one can get by, and are
>    driving too slow.  These are usually the types that have bumper stickers
>    saying "55 saves lives".  Something needs to be done.

I always considered this the "55 mile per hour road block" or, in the
days of the two lane country roads, the "Two car syndrome" where the second
car in line refuses to pass the first and you end up with a line of ten
to twenty cars. In the mid-west smokies would set up "rolling road blocks"
to keep traffic at a safe speed on holiday weekends.

In my book:

Dueling Assholes  -  Two or more drivers that decide to travel at least 10
mph faster than the flow of traffic, switching lanes and being a general
nusence in medium to heavy traffic. Usually these drivers do not know
each other. Typically, a lone speeder will pass some psudo-fast-car
and hurt his feelings, so he speeds up thinking he needs to prove a 
point. The idea of this game is to take the best advantage of the traffic  
to keep yourself in front of the other driver. Points are made for 
each mile in the lead and any daring manuvers needed to take or keep 
the lead. Points are lost for extending the lead. The object is to keep 
in as close contact with other driver as possible and still maintain
the lead.

The last time this happened to me, I was traveling south on Connecticut 
I-95 and three VW GTIs threaded their way through the traffic at 80mph. 
The flow of traffic was heavy and traveling at 70 mph.  I guess they had 
seen to many TV comercials where the GTI passes the BMW on the autobahn.

Well, by the time we got to NYC I had collected 156 points. All vaules
were trippled since I fended for the rights of BMW owners against
three GTIs.  [ONLY KIDDING :-)]

A variation on Dueling Assholes is:

Pin the Tail on the Donkey - Where a lone speeder passes a closet
speeder. The closet speeder thinks it's safe to speed now that the
other guy,  or the "donkey", is in the lead. Points are gathered for 
the number of tickets awarded to the "donkey" and "tail" car. 
(My record is 10 for the donkey and 0 for the tail, with me the tail.)
This works like a charm when played with a trucker. Tailers beware!!
If the donkey knows what you are doing and has an Escort, he may speed
into a radar trap and manuver you into the lead at the last moment.
If successfull this is worth 500 points for the "donkey" and $70+ for
the state.

And people wonder how to pass the time while driving.

Greg Mandas
Ittvax!bunker!gmm

PS. If anyone has collected all of these gems please sent them to
    me.