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From: thoth@tellab2.UUCP (Marcus Hall)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: friends and intimacy
Message-ID: <183@tellab2.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 8-Oct-84 17:44:42 EDT
Article-I.D.: tellab2.183
Posted: Mon Oct  8 17:44:42 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 9-Oct-84 04:08:43 EDT
References: <584@pucc-i>
Reply-To: thoth@tellab2.UUCP (Marcus Hall)
Organization: Tellabs, Inc., Lisle, Ill.
Lines: 30
Summary: 

In article <584@pucc-i> aaz@pucc-i (Marc Mengel) writes:
>	Why is it that people can't be intimate and still be friends??
>I have heard this from female friends of mine who I have had an interest
>in being 'more than friends' with.  I think *I* could still be friends with
>someone and be intimate.  Any comments?

I don't quite understand this limitation either.  I am assuming that you mean
'sexual' by 'intimate', if not then I *really* don't understand.  There are a
few friends that I care alot about.  It would seem perfectly natural to me for
any of these relationships to become sexual, although of course I would not
force it.  If it is to be, it will be.

When someone wants to be "just friends" with me (and they use that phrase),
I interpret it to mean that they don't want to be very involved with me.  I
interpret it as "I don't really like you that much, but I will tolerate you
enough to say Hello when/if I see you."  If this is the case, the
relationship will never be anything more than that.

To me, it is sometimes difficult to find a reason for a distinction between
close friends and lovers, other than perhaps the frequency of the times of
being really close (both physically and mentally/emotionally).  Of course, a
close friendship doesn't imply sex, but being close and understanding the
other, and sharing each other's feelings for a while can be wounderful.  I
don't think that many people would consider it out of line for me to kiss
a close friend, even though I am living with a very close MOTOS.  What I don't
understand is why many people would get upset if the kiss were to become
sexual.  Both are just a way of showing caring, closeness, etc.

marcus
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