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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxj!ihnp4!nsc!chuqui
From: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuqles)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: What is sensitivity good for anyway?
Message-ID: <1508@nsc.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 24-Sep-84 13:08:06 EDT
Article-I.D.: nsc.1508
Posted: Mon Sep 24 13:08:06 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 26-Sep-84 05:55:51 EDT
References: <2647@mit-eddie.UUCP>, <1318@browngr.UUCP> <9649@brunix.UUCP>
Organization: Clown Alley
Lines: 49

> Oh Ed, you are a sensitive, caring soul!  

He is, actually... I've known Ed for many years and have a lot of respect
for him. 

> Naturally, its his own fault
> if he gets his teeth kicked in and he deserves what he gets.

No, sometimes you get your teeth kicked in and it's nobody's fault. Sometimes
it is your fault. Usually it is simply easier to blame someone else.

> The fact of the matter is, that people don't start out with that kind of
> attitude.  It is certainly not something which is popular in society and
> therefore not one which is embraced lightly.  I can truly empathize.
> I have had my teeth kicked in enough times, but it took several hard
> kicks to make *me* that cynical.  And I've watched the same metamorphosis
> in multiple friends of mine, as well.  The fact is that you can only
> get kicked so many times before you lose the ability to bounce back with
> a bright, cheery smile and say "oh, it will be better next time!".

I disagree completely. The only time you lose the ability to bounce back is
when you GIVE UP. When you give up or lose faith then you definitely
deserve what you get, and what you tend to end up with is someone like 
yourself-- angry, cynical, defensive. If you don't think it's going to get
better, it won't folks... Nobody, not even God, will change that one.

> I have no explanation for it (I've searched in vain), but my observations
> have been that it is usually the men who get kicked.  It has certainly
> been true of both me and my friends, and there is consistantly *no*
> correlation between the person's initial attitude and whether they get
> kicked or not.  There are, of course, obvious exceptions to this rule.
> But the only times I've ever seen a man kicking in a womans teeth in
> a relationship is when the man is just a complete asshole, overall, and is
> as likely to kick in the teeth of his male companions as well.

It may simply be that your sample is biased. I think that men kick women
just as much as men. Part of the difference in perception is that women
tend to show their bruises differently and it takes some understanding of
them (and trust from them) to see it. If most of your friends are male,
most of the pain you will see is male based. If most of your friends are
female, most of the pain you will see is female based (that's so logical
there has to be a problem with it). I think in the long run each genders
pain evens out. Unfortunately it evens out at a rather high level. sigh.

chuq
-- 
From the Department of Bistromatics:			Chuq Von Rospach
{amd,decwrl,fortune,hplabs,ihnp4}!nsc!chuqui	nsc!chuqui@decwrl.ARPA

Flying is the art of throwing yourself at the ground and missing.