Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site ucf-cs.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!unc!mcnc!duke!ucf-cs!yiri From: yiri@ucf-cs.UUCP (Yirmiyahu BenDavid) Newsgroups: net.religion.jewish Subject: Re: Raising jewish children Message-ID: <1511@ucf-cs.UUCP> Date: Thu, 20-Sep-84 10:18:46 EDT Article-I.D.: ucf-cs.1511 Posted: Thu Sep 20 10:18:46 1984 Date-Received: Tue, 25-Sep-84 20:48:14 EDT References: <174@mhuxv.UUCP> Organization: UCF, Orlando, FL Lines: 72 There are many questions which, it seems to me, must be answered before any responsible and meaningful suggestions could be offerred. When she says 'I am Jewish', what does that mean to her? Are we talking about a family with a kosher kitchen who is shomer shabbat? Does she regard herself as Jewish simply because she was born that way or married into it? Does she merely find Christianity repugnant and that is what Jewish means? These questions reflect vastly different environments in which that problem may have arisen - and the solutions would be vastly different for each. It is curious to me why it was posted on net.kids rather than on net.religion.jewish. The Christian world, for the most part at least, will take pride in bringing about such a wonderful thing, and will applaud the babysitter who has done such a commendable job of witnessing the blessed good news. Certainly this is counter-productive. Is she and her family on close terms with an orthodox (or perhaps a conservative) rabbi and observant friends in that congregation? Since this is my advice, I feel responsible to stipulate either orthodox or conservative at the least. I don't feel reform rabbis have anything more than the goyim to offer. Sorry if I offend anyone but I have the right to my opinion and the responsibility when I try to help to do what I feel is really helpful. In point of fact, I think the reform rabbi or synagogue is detrimental in that it disguises assimilation in a cloak of false approval and acceptance and a kind of emasculated Judaism the end result of which is frequently the kind of situation we see here. I recognize that there are those who disagree with me. Let both sides do their best to help her the best they can rather than fight with each other. It seems to me that the best defense is a good offense. If her family were bubbling over with the richness of Judaism then it could have been the gentile babysitter who learned 'heiveinu shalom aleikhem' from the 2-year-old. I've seen this happen, it is not mere theory. Perhaps the most painful question centers around how families get in this kind of situation where they apparently have no close ties with observant rabbis, synagogues and friends? Why aren't their lives bubbling over with the richness of Judaism? It's there. I know because I have it. How does Judaism become reduced to simply not being a Christian? Is this all we have to offer our children? Aren't we extraordinarily moronic to expect children to accept such a premise when they get a little older? If we imitate the goyim (assimilate) we acknowledge that they are right and that Judaism is archaic, etc. Do we not know any better? What kind of legacy are we passing on? If we are aware of this richness shouldn't we be more active than the Christians in teaching our children? Is knowledge not the cornerstone of Judaism? Who is to blame? Who can correct these things? How? There are more vexing questions. Why aren't we who enjoy the riches of Judaism more active in sharing them. They are free. We don't lose them when we share them. In fact, sharing them enhances the richness. Why aren't we reaching out and supporting such families. Why aren't we helping them. Why isn't there someone THERE reaching out and helping that family? How can we - you and I - help? There are increasing numbers of families who have become disenamored with the emphasis on fund-raising and social status in the synagogue - in Judaism and have become unaffiliated families disgusted with the callous attitudes of the formal Jewish communities. How do we rectify that? How do we reach and help them? Certainly not be putting them on the list to call periodically for contributions. Her dillema is my fault... and yours. What shall we do about it? I would be delighted to talk with her, correspond with her, be her friend, and do whatever I can to help. Please do not repost this article on another net. Rather, encourage Jewish readers to look toward Judaism and each of us to try diligently to be really helpful and supportive. Yes, the reform too. I disagree with FELLOW Jews, but they are still fellow Jews whom I care about a great deal.