Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: Notesfiles $Revision: 1.6.2.17 $; site uiucuxc.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxj!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!uiucdcs!uiucuxc!pking From: pking@uiucuxc.UUCP Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: What is sensitivity good for anyway? Message-ID: <35000004@uiucuxc.UUCP> Date: Thu, 11-Oct-84 17:41:00 EDT Article-I.D.: uiucuxc.35000004 Posted: Thu Oct 11 17:41:00 1984 Date-Received: Sat, 13-Oct-84 07:12:57 EDT References: <258@lzmi.UUCP> Lines: 44 Nf-ID: #R:lzmi:-25800:uiucuxc:35000004:000:2275 Nf-From: uiucuxc!pking Oct 11 16:41:00 1984 >if a woman destroys a marial relationship she is still >going to get custody and support, whether she earned it or not. >And generally speaking, her social network's more developed - >so she gets more social support, too. This group of statements a find hard to swallow on any level. From my experience in this state a woman who works is entitled to child support but NOT alimony in a divorce, particularly if she worked prior to the divorce. Certainly a father should be expected to aid in the support of his children. Whether she's earned it? I have trouble with that remark, if the female is question is guilty of some horrible things, adultery in front of the kids, takes drugs etc, perhaps she should be taken to court and not given custody of the kids. ANd maybe in her eyes staying home, cooking, cleaning, etc for x-number of years, qualifies her for some "support" afterwards, I think this is a highly debatable issue however. As far as social network's go, if most of her friends were married couples, she's the odd one out, and often her married friends don't want a newly single woman around. Aren't many of her friends the ones you both made while married? Aren't they in an akward position after the divorce of who to remain friends with? Divorced women are a growing segment of the population and there are often a lot of support groups, etc out there for them, but I will still maintain that life is pretty lonely for her too, it's hard to date or go out if there are childern that have to be taken care of. And even if the marriage break up is her fault (it takes two to make a marriage and two to break one up), she is surely going to experience some regret and remorse and loneliness at the breakup of the relationship- If I misinterpreted any of your comments I am sorry. It makes me very angry when males or people in general feel that a woman gets everything in a divorce, because that just isn't true--certainly if you say she gets the kids and money and the man gets nothing besides his independence, that makes it look as if she gets everything, but that's only the surface and this is a much larger issue than just she gets this, and this, and he get's nothing except footing the bill for the rest of his life. pat king uiucuxc