Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/17/84 chuqui version 1.7 9/23/84; site nsc.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!nsc!chuqui From: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Zonker T. Chuqui) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: friends and intimacy Message-ID: <1567@nsc.UUCP> Date: Thu, 11-Oct-84 18:38:51 EDT Article-I.D.: nsc.1567 Posted: Thu Oct 11 18:38:51 1984 Date-Received: Sat, 13-Oct-84 01:43:01 EDT References: <584@pucc-i> <183@tellab2.UUCP> <1202@hao.UUCP> Organization: The Warlocks Cave, Castrovalva Lines: 33 > platonic relationships with > women are very difficult to maintain when my sexual needs are not being met > elsewhere. I think this is a generic problem-- we've had brains for thousands of years, but we've had hormones for millions and they have all sorts of tricks to get you to stop listening to your brain. Regardless of what your brain says, the physical instincts can be quite overwhelming at times... > I've been told that I'm somewhat > abnormal in this regard, because for me sexual attraction has almost nothing > to do with *physical* attractiveness; for me it is primarily emotional. I've always considered this to be enlightened, not abnormal. Maybe unusual is appropriate-- > This causes me lots and lots of problems, for it is precisely when I *don't* > have a lover that I *need* my close friends the most. It is a vicious circle. > It is almost impossible for me to "cry on her shoulder" without feeling sexually > attracted. This is a "bad thing", I can see, because a certain class of > relationships is totally out of my reach, unless I have a current lover. Trust me, this is a **common** problem... About the only way out of it is to learn to either ignore or reroute your sexual feelings. Neither is easy. Some people seem to be able to redirect the frustrated energy into things like work, for example. Others have figured out the secret of telling their hormones to take a hike for a few months. Some simply aren't that lucky. At best, it ain't easy. At worst, it's downright hard..... chuq -- From the Department of Bistromatics: Chuq Von Rospach {cbosgd,decwrl,fortune,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo}!nsc!chuqui nsc!chuqui@decwrl.ARPA How about 'reason for living?'