Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 beta 3/9/83; site tellab2.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxj!ihnp4!tellab1!tellab2!thoth From: thoth@tellab2.UUCP (Marcus Hall) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: friends and intimacy Message-ID: <183@tellab2.UUCP> Date: Mon, 8-Oct-84 17:44:42 EDT Article-I.D.: tellab2.183 Posted: Mon Oct 8 17:44:42 1984 Date-Received: Tue, 9-Oct-84 04:08:43 EDT References: <584@pucc-i> Reply-To: thoth@tellab2.UUCP (Marcus Hall) Organization: Tellabs, Inc., Lisle, Ill. Lines: 30 Summary: In article <584@pucc-i> aaz@pucc-i (Marc Mengel) writes: > Why is it that people can't be intimate and still be friends?? >I have heard this from female friends of mine who I have had an interest >in being 'more than friends' with. I think *I* could still be friends with >someone and be intimate. Any comments? I don't quite understand this limitation either. I am assuming that you mean 'sexual' by 'intimate', if not then I *really* don't understand. There are a few friends that I care alot about. It would seem perfectly natural to me for any of these relationships to become sexual, although of course I would not force it. If it is to be, it will be. When someone wants to be "just friends" with me (and they use that phrase), I interpret it to mean that they don't want to be very involved with me. I interpret it as "I don't really like you that much, but I will tolerate you enough to say Hello when/if I see you." If this is the case, the relationship will never be anything more than that. To me, it is sometimes difficult to find a reason for a distinction between close friends and lovers, other than perhaps the frequency of the times of being really close (both physically and mentally/emotionally). Of course, a close friendship doesn't imply sex, but being close and understanding the other, and sharing each other's feelings for a while can be wounderful. I don't think that many people would consider it out of line for me to kiss a close friend, even though I am living with a very close MOTOS. What I don't understand is why many people would get upset if the kiss were to become sexual. Both are just a way of showing caring, closeness, etc. marcus ..!ihnp4!tellab1!tellab2!thoth