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Path: utzoo!nonh
From: nonh@utzoo.UUCP (Chris Robertson)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: friends and intimacy
Message-ID: <4435@utzoo.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 9-Oct-84 21:46:44 EDT
Article-I.D.: utzoo.4435
Posted: Tue Oct  9 21:46:44 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 9-Oct-84 21:46:44 EDT
References: <584@pucc-i>
Organization: U of Toronto Zoology
Lines: 20

>	Why is it that people can't be intimate and still be friends??
>I have heard this from female friends of mine who I have had an interest
>in being 'more than friends' with.  I think *I* could still be friends with
>someone and be intimate.  Any comments?

I don't think the problem arises so much while the relationship still
involves intimacy, it's what happens if you try to go back to being
just friends again.  If both agree, it will probably work out.  If one
doesn't, chances are good the disagreement will sink the friendship --
sexual relationships tend to haul in unexpectedly strong feelings.
If the couple isn't "in love", but simply add sex onto friendship,
it can work very well indeed (I speak from experience here).  Of course,
the sex part may not produce the heights of ecstasy that love gives,
but it can still be a very warm and caring relationship, without some
of the tensions involved in a more passionate situation.

--Chris

"If you step on my stomach one more time, cat, I'll get right up and, and,
... and sleep on the couch ...?"