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From: pking@uiucuxc.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: What is sensitivity good for anyway?
Message-ID: <35000004@uiucuxc.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 11-Oct-84 17:41:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: uiucuxc.35000004
Posted: Thu Oct 11 17:41:00 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 13-Oct-84 07:12:57 EDT
References: <258@lzmi.UUCP>
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Nf-ID: #R:lzmi:-25800:uiucuxc:35000004:000:2275
Nf-From: uiucuxc!pking    Oct 11 16:41:00 1984

>if a woman destroys a marial relationship she is still
>going to get custody and support, whether she earned it or not.
>And generally speaking, her social network's more developed - 
>so she gets more social support, too.

This group of statements a find hard to swallow on any level.
From my experience in this state a woman who works is entitled
to child support but NOT alimony in a divorce, particularly if
she worked prior to the divorce.  Certainly a father should 
be expected to aid in the support of his children.  Whether 
she's earned it? I have trouble with that remark, if the female
is question is guilty of some horrible things, adultery in front
of the kids, takes drugs etc, perhaps she should be taken to court
and not given custody of the kids.  ANd maybe in her eyes staying
home, cooking, cleaning, etc for x-number of years, qualifies her
for some "support" afterwards, I think this is a highly debatable
issue however.

As far as social network's go, if most of her friends were married
couples, she's the odd one out, and often her married friends don't
want a newly single woman around.  Aren't many of her friends the
ones you both made while married?  Aren't they in an akward position
after the divorce of who to remain friends with?  
Divorced women are a growing segment of the population and there
are often a lot of support groups, etc out there for them, but 
I will still maintain that life is pretty lonely for her too,
it's hard to date or go out if there are childern that have
to be taken care of.  And even if the marriage break up is 
her fault (it takes two to make a marriage and two to break one
up), she is surely going to experience some regret and remorse
and loneliness at the breakup of the relationship-

If I misinterpreted any of your comments I am sorry.  It 
makes me very angry when males or people in general feel that
a woman gets everything in a divorce, because that just isn't
true--certainly if you say she gets the kids and money and the
man gets nothing besides his independence, that makes it look as
if she gets everything, but that's only the surface and this is
a much larger issue than just she gets this, and this, and he
get's nothing except footing the bill for the rest of his life.

pat king 
uiucuxc