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From: walt2@ihuxl.UUCP (Walt Kurszewski)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Topic of Anger
Message-ID: <1179@ihuxl.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 18-Jun-84 18:14:25 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihuxl.1179
Posted: Mon Jun 18 18:14:25 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 22-Jun-84 09:25:51 EDT
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL
Lines: 35


I've seen a few articles lately concerning how people from large
families deal with anger directed at a SO.  I feel I may have a
bit to contribute here (I'm from a family of twelve).

I grew up with one brother (he's 36 years old - I'm 22) and ten sisters.
Yes, ten sisters.  I'm number 11.  Number 12 just graduated from Rosholt
High, Rosholt, WI.  Now that I think about it, ten sisters is really
amazing.

Being part of a large family taught me quite a few things.  Like how
to handle interpersonal relationships.  And how to fake being calm and
collective while waiting in long lines (for the bathroom).  And hand
to hand combat...  In our family anger was always vented as soon as
possible.  Otherwise you forgot who you were mad at.  It was understood
that anything said in a burst of anger was not to be taken seriously
because in a week you wouldn't remember what it was that ruffled your
feathers.  I handle anger with SO's the same way.  I don't want any
dirty laundry hanging around and I don't want little things to build
into any misunderstandings.  So if I'm peeved she'll know it.  She'll
also know that it it'll blow over in a week or two at the max.

I can remember one time that this didn't work though.  One morning Mom
yelled in the stairwell to wake me. "Time to wake up!  Do you want me
to make pancakes for breakfast?"  I don't remember why but I was in a
cranky mood that morning and replied, "Nah, your pancakes taste like
shit."  I must have been about seventeen at the time and it wasn't until
this past May (my little sister's graduation) that Mom asked me if I
wanted pancakes for breakfast again.  Not that she held in any anger
all these years.  Every time I asked for breakfast she reminded me
exactly why I could make my own breakfast.  Well this time I didn't
blow it.

			Walt Kurszewski
			ihnp4!ihuxl!walt2