Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site opus.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!hou3c!hocda!houxm!houxz!vax135!floyd!cmcl2!seismo!hao!cires!nbires!opus!rcd From: rcd@opus.UUCP (Dick Dunn) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Topic of Anger Message-ID: <531@opus.UUCP> Date: Tue, 5-Jun-84 22:09:59 EDT Article-I.D.: opus.531 Posted: Tue Jun 5 22:09:59 1984 Date-Received: Thu, 7-Jun-84 19:05:05 EDT References: <206@hercules.UUCP> <321@ihuxu.UUCP> Organization: NBI, Boulder Lines: 23 I've found that anger is actually pretty easy to handle 95% of the time. (And it only took me a few years beyond a failed marriage to find out. :-) That's because it's usually only ONE of you who's angry at a time. If you're the one who's angry, let your feelings out [but you don't have to go for blood]. If you're not the one who's angry, try to figure out what's going on as soon as you can and get it straightened out. The only ones that are hard to deal with are where you're both angry, but they don't need to happen very often if you handle the others right. Get your anger out in the open as soon as you can. When you hold it in, you just build up for a big let-go that's going to put your SO in a corner from which it's difficult to come out and apologize without feeling a fool. I'm NOT saying that you have to be running around foaming at the mouth all the time - quite the opposite. Say something while you can keep it at the level of "I'm upset...why did you do that?" instead of "&^$$%#$@!!!!!" Obviously, it helps to be compatible. That reduces the opportunity for conflict. If you're in the habit of fighting, you get good at it; if you're in the habit of getting along, you get good at it. -- Dick Dunn {hao,ucbvax,allegra}!nbires!rcd (303)444-5710 x3086 ...Never offend with style when you can offend with substance.