Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site sdccsu3.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!houxm!houxz!vax135!floyd!cmcl2!seismo!hao!hplabs!sdcrdcf!sdcsvax!sdccsu3!referee From: referee@sdccsu3.UUCP (Cindy the Referee) Newsgroups: net.women.only Subject: Re: friendships among women Message-ID: <1910@sdccsu3.UUCP> Date: Sat, 9-Jun-84 13:58:54 EDT Article-I.D.: sdccsu3.1910 Posted: Sat Jun 9 13:58:54 1984 Date-Received: Tue, 12-Jun-84 00:29:38 EDT References: <7838@watmath.UUCP>, <385@drutx.UUCP> Organization: UCSD Computer Center Consulting Office Lines: 33 >>A: ...the bonds of female friendship in America are not very strong. >>JAM: ...friendships among girls/women [are] much closer than those that men seem to have. Comparison of Men's and Women's Friendships Men Women -------------------------- -------------------------- Group-oriented Individually-oriented Competitive Supportive Information conversations Emotional conversations Harder to make new friends Easier to make new friends NOTE: These are by no means absolute criteria, just general tendencies. The reason that women's friendships deteriorate when one acquires an SO may be the popular belief that "you can only have ONE best friend", as JAM says. If you believe that... Men's friendships, being group-oriented, are able to survive the arrival of a new SO, but look at the built-in conflicts of men's friendships! I think the reason why ANY friendship falls apart is because at least one person changes, and the two people can't resolve the conflict by accepting the changes. Now, if you are concerned about meeting other women professionals who understand the problems of being in a male-dominated occupation, perhaps your employer has a women's support group, and there is also SWE--the Society of Women Engineers, an organization where I've made a lot of friends. Or if you have other special interests, join an appropriate special interest group. Involvement is the key. -- Cindy [...]sdcsvax!sdccsu3!referee