Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site umcp-cs.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!houxm!houxz!vax135!floyd!cmcl2!seismo!rlgvax!cvl!umcp-cs!israel From: israel@umcp-cs.UUCP Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Lifespring (a graduate's experience, long) Message-ID: <7330@umcp-cs.UUCP> Date: Sat, 2-Jun-84 19:44:59 EDT Article-I.D.: umcp-cs.7330 Posted: Sat Jun 2 19:44:59 1984 Date-Received: Tue, 5-Jun-84 08:12:20 EDT References: <235@ihu1h.UUCP> Organization: Univ. of Maryland, Computer Science Dept. Lines: 220 From: woods@hao.UUCP I have been in contact with a company called "Lifespring" which is in the psychology "business". They run a 5-day, 50-hour course, again for $400, that is supposed to do all the things that these training sessions are supposed to do (get in touch with your feelings, build self-confidence, and all the other cliches). I was introduced to the Lifespring program about three years ago by a friend. I took the Basic course then (which was $350 at that time). I also took the second course (the Advanced course/Interpersonal Experience) as well as the third program (the Leadership program) and a few of their weekend courses. I will start out by saying that found it extremely worthwhile, and have had friends do the course because of it. I'll try not to make this into a sales pitch or do any prosyletizing (Oh no, I can hear them screaming "No prosyletizing on net.singles!" :-) ), but I will try to give you the information that you asked for. The Lifespring course is what is called an experiential course. The difference between an experiential and a non-experiential course is like the difference between being taught tennis on the courts. In other words, what goes on in the training room are a set of exercises designed to let you experience the way you handle various aspects of your life. The basic philosophy behind these courses is that all of us have a system of beliefs that control much of what we do. For example, one of mine is that if someone learns what feelings are going on inside of me, (primarily negative, but both), then I'm going to look foolish and they will have some power over me. I've gotten over this one a great deal, but haven't excised it yet. Now you can see how this belief can get in the way of relationships. The exercises in the courses are designed to elicit natural reactions from you so that you can look at your reactions and notice patterns that will indicate what some of these beliefs of yours are. The key to this, and something I must really compliment the Lifespring trainers and staff on, is non-judgemental behavior. What this means is best represented by the statement "It's alright to feel that way, as long as those are your true feelings". The training room has the most non-judgemental atmosphere that I've ever experienced. With that atmosphere, people slowly start to trust the other people in the room enough to share some some of their deep, dark secrets. I think that it is somewhat similar to what goes on here on net.singles, for example take a look at how much Jeff Sargent is willing to reveal about himself. However, there is also some judgemental behavior here, as well. The training is divided into three parts, lecturing (20 %), exercises (60 %), and sharing (20 %). The lecturing is the trainer discussing an alternate point of view on some area of life. For example, one point of view which is put out in the course with a great deal of time spent on it, is the idea that we should consider ourselfs responsible or accountable for much more of our lives that we have previously considered ourselves accountable for. You are not required to adopt any of these points of view put out by the trainer, but you won't benefit without at least having an open mind to consider them during the course. The exercises are of many different types. One type is called closed-eye processes, but they are commonly called creative visualization. The idea is to be in a relaxed state with your eyes closed, while the trainer takes you through some type of scenario. You visualize the scenario, and various portions of it will call for some participation by you (which you also visualize), but what you do in the scenario is up to you. There are also two person exercises, called dyads, in which the two of you interact in some fashion. Some of the exercises are in the form of games also. The sharing can best be compared to what goes on in net.singles. People in the training voluntarily stand up and share with the rest of the group things about themselves that they noticed or learned. Sharing is concentrated on people's experiences, not on facts or stories. Advice is not a part of it since it is what you want to do that is important, not what someone else wants you to do. The sharing helps you in two ways. When you are sharing it is sort of a relief to put into words or to tell people these things that you've kept bottled up inside. When you are listening to someone else, there will be times that you will sit up and say "Oh my god, I thought I was the only person in the world that felt that way!" Or someone will point out something about themselves that is as, if not more, applicable to you too. At the request of a very old and close friend of mine, I went to what they call a "guest event". The graduates, who were all there voluntarily and have no official connection with Lifespring, all seem very happy, hug and kiss each other a lot, etc., and all swear that they were varying degrees of basket cases prior to going through the BC. I wasn't a basket case before Basic, but I'm in a HELL of a lot better shape emotionally now. I also feel that I'm in better shape now than I was immediately afterwards, since part of it is about learning to observe what you do and why you do it, and not just learning about yourself for that week. I can explain the hugging and kissing by saying that what goes on is an intense emotional experience, and as a result you feel very close to the people you shared that with (just like any other experience, e.g. college or a camping trip). What you say does turn a lot of people off, and look cultish (I have been called a Moonie, though I've never sold flowers at the airport :-) ). I would like to counter any claims you may have heard that after taking the Lifespring Basic course you will be happy, life will be hunky/dory, and you will live the rest of your life happily ever after. (Lifespring also cures bad breath and hangnails). It just ain't so. There ain't no such thing as perfection or complete happiness. You can't trap the bluebird of happiness, but you can pet it occasionally (Hmmm, I like the sound of that. How about that for a good .signature line?). What the training does give you is an atmosphere where you can examine your life, what you like and don't like about it, and look at what you want to do about it. Participation is the key point here. The answers won't be given to you, but if you participate fully, you can find some of them yourself. One thing that I find fascinating about the whole process is that everyone learns something different. I have come out of the training room at the end of an excercise watching everyone else jump up and down for joy, while I want to go into the corner and cry (No exaggeration either, it happened Saturday afternoon of Basic, but that is another story). Now to address your GOOD/BAD points: GOOD BAD Everyone who has been through it It is like an Amway seems so happy and says it is largely meeting with lots of due to the BC. hype. G: This is because the people who go to guest events and talk about Lifespring do so because they found it very beneficial. I've known people who ranged from thinking of it as worthless, to indifferent, to pretty good and also to absolutely fantastic, though the percentage of the first two is fairly low. B: I agree. This is something that a lot of the graduates dislike. Here I'd like to make a distinction between the Lifespring organization and the Lifespring courses. It is the organization that is doing this hype, and I've know plenty of graduates who loved the courses, but won't get involved at all with the organization. Part of the reason for the hype is that Lifespring is ONLY found out about through word of mouth. There is no advertising. People get involved with it because someone that they know and trust told them about it. My dear friend, whose judgment I trust, $400 and 5 days is a says I would greatly benefit from it. very large investment of time and money. G: What can I say? You know your friend and I don't. You have to go on your own instincts on that one. B: It is a lot of time and money. Personally, I found it worth it on the basis of the large improvement in the quality of my life. The time wasn't a big issue for me, but, being a student, the money was. I finally decided on it on the basis of the money-back guarantee (to be discussed below). If you complete the course and are not satisfied, you can fill out a form and They were a bit too they will refund your money (they said secretive about what at the guest event that about 5% of those actually goes on in who complete the BC ask for their money back). the BC. They did show some clips of real sessions, but not enough to give me a real feel for what it is like. They claim that too much detail will ruin the course. G: I can tell you that its true. I've known a number of people who have gotten their money back with absolutely no hassles whatsoever. This includes a girl that I did Basic with who was the sister of the person who told me about Lifespring. I think that the percentage is reasonably accurate, though I can't check it. B: This does sound lousy, but I mostly do agree with it. The reason for it is that, being an experiential course, the basic things you have to study are your reactions to things in the exercises. If you knew about some of the exercises in advance, you could (and would, to an extent) formulate your response ahead of time. This response wouldn't be based on your emotions and beliefs (the things you are trying to watch), but instead would be based on your intellect (something that is pretty much ignored throughout the course). This response would also be something that you either feel is expected of you, or something that you feel is a "safe" response. I re-audited the Basic course two years ago. (All graduates are allowed to re-take the Basic course for free anytime they want to, though this is subject to space limitations). My first Basic was a really overwhelming experience, but when I re-audited it was just relaxed and fun, but not a really big thing. I think that this is to a good extent because I knew the course and what was coming. In fact, there was one exercise during the week that re-audits were not even allowed to take part in, because they knew it, but instead had to watch. Opinions welcome, but please, no personal flames like "boy are you screwed up". I'm aware of that and I'm trying to do something about it, especially in light of the fact that it looks like I'm going to be breaking up with my SO, placing a further emotional strain on an already-damaged ego. Lifespring is only one of the options I'm considering, but it is the one I know the least about that also seems to have the most potential. What I really want is first or second hand information, not "it sounds like a crock". GREG Well, I hope that I gave you what you wanted. I tried to avoid sounding like a salesman for Lifespring, but I am basically very positive about my whole experience. If I didn't make myself clear at points, or you have other questions about it, please feel free to send mail or post them. Good luck, and let me know what you decide. Bruce -- Bruce Israel University of Maryland, Computer Science {rlgvax,seismo}!umcp-cs!israel (Usenet) israel@Maryland (Arpanet)