Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site eosp1.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!princeton!eosp1!robison From: robison@eosp1.UUCP (Tobias D. Robison) Newsgroups: net.jokes.d Subject: Re: Natural Childbirth by Dave Barry Message-ID: <940@eosp1.UUCP> Date: Thu, 14-Jun-84 18:03:05 EDT Article-I.D.: eosp1.940 Posted: Thu Jun 14 18:03:05 1984 Date-Received: Fri, 15-Jun-84 00:57:29 EDT Organization: Exxon Office Systems, Princeton, NJ Lines: 49 References: I've now received one public and one private comment on my lack of humor; I'm going to comment once more. My wife and I went through three Lamaze births. It was a wonderful experience, full of humor and delight in the preparation, and full of agony and hard work in the event. In general I agree with Don Stanwyck, except that I did not find Dave Barry amusing because: - he was too childish - he was too innacurate Erma Bombeck does his sort of thing ever so much better. A nurse who gave us some of our training warned us to look out for the little critters AFTER they started to grow up. She told us the following story: Once she was ironing clothes, and her youngest of three managed to shove a toy metal fork into an electrical outlet behind the refrigerator. The fork melted, the lights went out, but the kid was ok. Every single socket in their house was either filled by a screwed in plug, or covered with a cover, except this particular one, because neither she nor her husband was small enough to reach it or notice it. By the time she had gotten the circuit breaker back on and taken a quick look at the melted fork, the same child has poured an entire bottle of coca cola into the iron! The Lamaze training included two items among others: - Warning: the prospective mother may become irritabe during labor. - Suggestion: the prospective mother may want to suck ice chips during labor. We kept these in mind, but somehow I failed to anticipate the connection. During labor, many an ice chip was spit expertly at my face; as a target, I was a great comfort to my wife. The first time around, I asked the obstetrician to allow me into the delivery room in advance to take meter readings for photographs. He allowed me in, but only after apologizing for failing to post a comprehensive light meter chart for the entire room. - Toby Robison (not Robinson!) allegra!eosp1!robison decvax!ittvax!eosp1!robison princeton!eosp1!robison