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From: stuart@ssc-vax.UUCP (Stuart Lewis)
Newsgroups: net.auto
Subject: My final word on muscle cars! (line feed)
Message-ID: <188@ssc-vax.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 7-Jun-84 12:12:12 EDT
Article-I.D.: ssc-vax.188
Posted: Thu Jun  7 12:12:12 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 9-Jun-84 08:06:31 EDT
Organization: Boeing Aerospace, Seattle
Lines: 64

First, my greatest kudus to Jeff Buchanan and Rick Bensene for their articles
on muscle cars.  I know I get tired of reading all these criticisms on cars
that people have never driven.  I am reminded of the lyrics from a Jimmy Buffet
song : "...don't try to describe a KISS concert if you've never seen it.  Don't
ever forget that you just may wind up being wrong!"  One quick note to Rick 
Bensene before I start my tirade.  My mail must not be getting through to you
or you haven't been answering.  Any guesses?

Now European and Eastern Pacific afficianados (and anyone else reading that for
that matter!), let me give you an example of muscle car.  I've got one sitting
behind my house.

She's a real fine '63, four-speed, 4.11 posi-, Four OH 9!!  This baby cranks
over 400 horses and will blast darn near EVERYTHING off the road.  My only
competition comes from Rat Chevelles, 428/429 Mustangs (but when was the last
time you saw one of these?), and Hemi cars.  And as far as the Rat Chevelles go
I'd rather admire a fellow Chevy than compete against it.  This gentlemen is a
muscle car.  Period.  The American muscle cars have always, and will always 
rule the streets.  Yes, fellow Americans, the streets.  Because that's where
muscle is born - on the streets, highways and byways of this great nation (up
music!).  It's not found at Laguna-Seca.  It's not found at Sears Point.  It's
not found at Elkhart Lake.  NO!  It's found on the corner of 1st and Main.  
It's found at the corner of Cherry and Smith.  Come on all you RX-7's.  Come
on all you 280-Z's.  And YES!  Come on all you Porche 911's!  Right now!  
Let's go toe-to-toe on Main Street U.S.A!!  I've got the pure, raw power to
suck you right up my exhaust pipes!!  Corners?  What corners?!  Who's corners?!
WE DON'T NEED NO STEENKING CORNERS!!!  By the time we get to a corner, you'll
be a dot in my rear view mirror!!!  When the traffic light turns green, it'll
be nothing but the scream of my 8 cylinders and clouds of pulverized rubber
smothering you with its stench!!  ALL RIGHT!!!  LET'S GO!!!  LET'S DO IT!!!
GAS!!!  TIRES!!!  30 WEIGHT MOTOR OIL!!!  IT'S AMERICA!!!  IT'S MOM!!!  IT'S
APPLE PIE!!! IT'S CHEVROLET!!!!!  I'M... I'M GOING TO......I'M GOING OVER THE
EDGE.....OH NO!!, I'M ABOUT TO .....AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!


















Please do not adjust your terminal.  The problem is not in your set.  We re-
gret to inform you that our operator was electrocuted attempting to speed shift his RETURN key!  :-)

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