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From: lute@abnjh.UUCP (J. Collymore)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Are BEAUTIFUL women insecure?
Message-ID: <694@abnjh.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 20-Jun-84 09:44:53 EDT
Article-I.D.: abnjh.694
Posted: Wed Jun 20 09:44:53 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 21-Jun-84 07:16:15 EDT
Organization: ATTIS, NJ
Lines: 50

Over a year ago I asked the same question:  "Why do attractive women go 
out with"JERKS?"  I had found an interesting explanation for this, so for the
benefit of those who didn't see it, here's a re-posting of my earlier article.


"A few months ago I read a letter in a magazine from a man that was confused
about why many of the women he found attractive went out with guys that
were real (to put it nicely)  JERKS!  To be honest, when I was an undergrad
(8+ years ago)  I found that to be a disturbingly common happening.  Even
today in the "real world"  I see this situation more times than I like.
In college, (and even today at the verge of turning 30) it always seems
you're damned if the woman you are interested in calls you a: nice guy,
good friend, gentleman, etc.  Although you may then become that woman's
confidant, brother, counselor, etc. you can be pretty sure that you will
NOT be all that passionately intimate (this assumes that you, as the guy,
wanted passion in the first place).

Now don't anyone misconstrue my position to be that I am against men and
women being friends, that is NOT TRUE!  I merely pose the point that
(as someone who has for years been called a "nice guy") it is confusing
that a number of women choose to have "nice guys" as platonic friends,
and not-so-nice guys as lovers.

Well, to get back to my original point, in the above person's letter
he posed the reason for this mismatching on something he called the
"Principle of Less Interest."  This principle states that:  The person with
less interest in the relationship dictates the terms of the relationship.
This implies, that acting like a JERK is a position of showing less interest
in the relationship.  The person having more interest in turn puts up
with a lot of garbage in an attempt to raise the other person's level of
interest.  This, in turn, can cause the latter person to invest so much
emotional energy that they become reluctant to drop the relationship
even though they know they are getting a raw deal.

This can also suggest that the "nice guy" that comes along doesn't offer
the same level of emotional stimulation as the current (or previous) JERK,
and therefore seems comparatively boring.  (Most people want to date someone
stimulating, NOT boring!)

How does this sound to the rest of you net.singles readers?  Any other
opinions out there?"



I, too, would be interested in getting the views of the female net.singles
readers on this subject.



					Jim Collymore