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From: joy@mit-vax.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: pedestalization
Message-ID: <2082@mit-vax.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 7-Jun-84 14:35:15 EDT
Article-I.D.: mit-vax.2082
Posted: Thu Jun  7 14:35:15 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 10-Jun-84 01:57:40 EDT
Organization: MIT, Cambridge, MA
Lines: 32

Jeffie, Jeffie, Jeffie.....  

*Nobody* deserves a pedestal.  Sophie Quigley's right.  So's Pooh.

Putting someone on a pedestal is the wrong thing to do:  people aren't
statues.  Everyone is human (even computer science types :-) ) and
has human failings as well as good traits.  You really should try not to
idolize women.  For one thing, it makes lots of us angry.  I've been
subjected to pedestalization once or twice.  The first time, I was expected
to be perfect all the time, as Sophie states.  That's really hard for
anyone and impossible for most people.  The second time was equally trying:
I did not feel the same way about the person, but since I was on this lofty
pedestal, I had a very hard time making him tactfully go away.  Both were
*very* frustrating experiences for me.  Heck, I know I'm not perfect.
But I think enough of myself to know that I'm not pond slime either....

I am not sure, as Sophie suggests, that all those who pedestalize don't
ever want to change their self-image.  I've met some who genuinely do and
some who don't.  I hope you are one of the former, Jeff.  Pooh has a
very good point:  did you ever think that some woman might be looking at
you and dwelling only upon her not-so-attractive traits?  People are frail
beings with even more frail egos.  We all fear that others will notice
and dislike us for our least attractive traits.  So try to remember that
when next you meet a MOTOS, and treat her accordingly.

						Joy
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joy@mit-vax