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From: sebb@pyuxss.UUCP (S Badian)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: pedestalization
Message-ID: <342@pyuxss.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 20-Jun-84 15:19:18 EDT
Article-I.D.: pyuxss.342
Posted: Wed Jun 20 15:19:18 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 21-Jun-84 08:24:20 EDT
References: <2082@mit-vax.UUCP>, <778@pucc-h>
Organization: Bell Communications Research, Piscataway N.J.
Lines: 56


	I thought I'd jump into the fray here. I've been watching
from the sidelines long enough.
	I have a few things to say to you, Jeff. This is honest
advice; I don't want you to think that this is destructive
criticism.
	You wonder if anyone can get through childhood and adolescence
without some scars. I assure you that it is impossible. But that is
part of growing up and becoming an adult. If you went through your
childhood and everything was peachy keen dandy you'd have an awful
hard time with adulthood. This is the real world, the school of
hard knocks, and you can't be secluded from it all your life.
So just remember that no matter how screwed up you are there are
lots of people who are going through the same thing. Don't believe
that there aren't other people who came from broken families, who
moved all the time, who had it rough. They're out there. They just
may not be letting on.
	You talk about sadistic and masochistic fantasies. You think
these are unusual? They're not. I consider myself a well-adjusted
person and I have them. The real test is can you tell your fantasies
from reality. If you dream about torturing people, you don't go
out and do it, do you? Just think about the crazy people in the 
world who do! I like to think that nasty fantasies are an escape
value. They give your imagination a chance to go wild and they
get rid of a lot of hostility. Believe me, there have been times
I've really wanted to draw and quarter my professors and my boss.
	The thing that really struck me as interesting is your
comment about being the least loving person you know. From your
submissions I know that you are deeply religious. From this I infer
that you love your God. It seems obvious to me that if you have
a very close relationship with your God then you must be capable
of loving other people. I would think that your God expects more
from you than the people around you. People can be pretty tolerant
compared with gods, as far as I can tell. Maybe I should clarify
that. Whatever you do wrong your God will see. Then you'll be
judged on this action. You must ask forgiveness and repent and all
that stuff. Or you will be damned to eternal suffering or the like.
Well, I got news for you...other people don't know everything you
think and do, and even if they did know, they'd probably keep
quiet since they've done the same thing. 
	What I'm trying to say is- if you can love your God, you
can certainly find it in your heart to love the rest of us. And
I have a feeling that's the way your God wants it.
	You're probably saying to yourself 'People judge me all 
the time, and sometimes they're pretty nasty too.' That's part
of the rough part of life. It seems the best way is to shrug it
off. There are people who are just jerks and you got to live
with them. But you have to realize that there are lots of other
people who are great individuals, very understanding, and who
won't hate you because you're having some problems in your life.
They'll want to help you. I think there are a few people on the
net with these sterling qualities.
	This has gone on long enough. If you want me to clarify
myself, I'd be more than happy to. As always, I'm open to discussion.
					Sharon Badian