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Path: utzoo!watmath!saquigley
From: saquigley@watmath.UUCP (Sophie Quigley)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: pedestalization
Message-ID: <7959@watmath.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 6-Jun-84 00:11:09 EDT
Article-I.D.: watmath.7959
Posted: Wed Jun  6 00:11:09 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 6-Jun-84 07:01:16 EDT
References: <751@pucc-h>, <20@ut-sally.UUCP>
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 37

GRRRRR!!!!  I hate self-defeatism and pedestalisation.

There is nothing more boring than listening to someone tell
you they are worthless.  Having been in two relationships
where my lover was the self-defeating type, I know that I
don't want to have anything to do with those people any
more.  What I found quite amazing in those two people I
knew is how self-centered they became because of their
self-defeatist attitudes.  Even though they thought they
were a pile of crap they didn't act like one (i.e crawl
under the ground and tried not to be noticed) but instead
dwelled on and on about how worthless they were, monopolising
all my attention and asking for constant positive reinforcement
that no, they were not worthless.

Even though I originally believed these people were sincere and
tried to help them build up a better self-image, I found out later
on that they were not interested in changing the romantic idea they
had of themselves as worthless people.  Along with that romantic
idea of their badness, came the romantic idea of my perfectness;
I was the angel of salvation, to be put on a pedestal and adored.
I was loved for that role and consequently not allowed to stray.
They got very angry when I didn't behave as someone worthy of being
on a pedestal, but rather as a normal human being.  They were allowed
to be worthless, but I was not allowed any human failings. Believe me
people, there is nothing more tiring than having to live up to
someone's completely distorted image of yourself as the embodiment of
perfection.

My conclusion in hindsight has been that these were very egotistical
people who were out using me to satisfy their perverted masochistic
urges to put themselves down without any regards whatsoever to the
person I really am.  Thanks but no thanks.  I want nothing to do with
those types of people anymore.

Sophie Quigley
...!{clyde,ihnp4,decvax}!watmath!saquigley