Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site pyuxss.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!floyd!vax135!houxz!houxm!mhuxl!ulysses!gamma!pyuxww!pyuxss!sebb From: sebb@pyuxss.UUCP (S Badian) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: pedestalization Message-ID: <342@pyuxss.UUCP> Date: Wed, 20-Jun-84 15:19:18 EDT Article-I.D.: pyuxss.342 Posted: Wed Jun 20 15:19:18 1984 Date-Received: Thu, 21-Jun-84 08:24:20 EDT References: <2082@mit-vax.UUCP>, <778@pucc-h> Organization: Bell Communications Research, Piscataway N.J. Lines: 56 I thought I'd jump into the fray here. I've been watching from the sidelines long enough. I have a few things to say to you, Jeff. This is honest advice; I don't want you to think that this is destructive criticism. You wonder if anyone can get through childhood and adolescence without some scars. I assure you that it is impossible. But that is part of growing up and becoming an adult. If you went through your childhood and everything was peachy keen dandy you'd have an awful hard time with adulthood. This is the real world, the school of hard knocks, and you can't be secluded from it all your life. So just remember that no matter how screwed up you are there are lots of people who are going through the same thing. Don't believe that there aren't other people who came from broken families, who moved all the time, who had it rough. They're out there. They just may not be letting on. You talk about sadistic and masochistic fantasies. You think these are unusual? They're not. I consider myself a well-adjusted person and I have them. The real test is can you tell your fantasies from reality. If you dream about torturing people, you don't go out and do it, do you? Just think about the crazy people in the world who do! I like to think that nasty fantasies are an escape value. They give your imagination a chance to go wild and they get rid of a lot of hostility. Believe me, there have been times I've really wanted to draw and quarter my professors and my boss. The thing that really struck me as interesting is your comment about being the least loving person you know. From your submissions I know that you are deeply religious. From this I infer that you love your God. It seems obvious to me that if you have a very close relationship with your God then you must be capable of loving other people. I would think that your God expects more from you than the people around you. People can be pretty tolerant compared with gods, as far as I can tell. Maybe I should clarify that. Whatever you do wrong your God will see. Then you'll be judged on this action. You must ask forgiveness and repent and all that stuff. Or you will be damned to eternal suffering or the like. Well, I got news for you...other people don't know everything you think and do, and even if they did know, they'd probably keep quiet since they've done the same thing. What I'm trying to say is- if you can love your God, you can certainly find it in your heart to love the rest of us. And I have a feeling that's the way your God wants it. You're probably saying to yourself 'People judge me all the time, and sometimes they're pretty nasty too.' That's part of the rough part of life. It seems the best way is to shrug it off. There are people who are just jerks and you got to live with them. But you have to realize that there are lots of other people who are great individuals, very understanding, and who won't hate you because you're having some problems in your life. They'll want to help you. I think there are a few people on the net with these sterling qualities. This has gone on long enough. If you want me to clarify myself, I'd be more than happy to. As always, I'm open to discussion. Sharon Badian