Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site pucc-h Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!mgnetp!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!CS-Mordred!Pucc-H:aeq From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: thoughts on desperation Message-ID: <746@pucc-h> Date: Mon, 4-Jun-84 11:01:37 EDT Article-I.D.: pucc-h.746 Posted: Mon Jun 4 11:01:37 1984 Date-Received: Wed, 6-Jun-84 06:00:16 EDT References: <19573@wivax.UUCP> Organization: Purdue University Computing Center Lines: 46 From Steve Dyer: > And, if your gay friends all demonstrate an "unattractive self-loathing" > or a "streak of meanness", perhaps you need to find new gay friends. > Take a look at the articles in "net.motss"; do the kaleidoscope of people, > ideas and topics evidence "self-loathing"? Meanness? I think some site upstream of us must zap most of net.motss, because rarely do I see articles in it; most of the things I do see are, to speak frankly, boring. I grant (responding to a paragraph not quoted here) that I've never gotten to be really close friends with any of the gays I know. (For one thing, most of them smoke, which I detest.) Thus I don't know how they came to be as they are. Plus, as I implied in my previous article, most of the gays I know have pleasant personalities and considerable talent (my acquaintance with them is through local theatre); the self-dislike (perhaps loathing was too strong a term) is not immediately obvious; but it seems to be there underneath the surface in most cases. I can only repeat what I said -- that when I felt worst about myself, my homosexual feelings became strongest; and when I felt better, more optimistic, about myself, my heterosexual feelings resurfaced; and the cause and effect were in the order listed (i.e. feeling rotten CAUSED the homosexual feelings.) Based on this and on the previous paragraph, I'm not looking for new gay friends, and not even very much for new male friends -- not because of homophobia, but because I'm much more interested in women, and I think it would help me grow as a person to take the risk of becoming closer friends with one or more women, rather than with men. Most of my close friends for most of my life have been male; there's nothing wrong with having male (or, generically, same-sex) friends (it's infinitely better than having no friends -- men are people too!); but I agree with the saying "Vive la difference!" -- women's personalities have some nifty good qualities that aren't there in men (and, apparently, vice versa, since there are numerous heterosexual women), and one whose closest relationship(s) is (are) with MOTSS's is really missing out on some good stuff. Basically, my question is: Why be gay, when there's so much more joy, interest, and wonder in being straight? (No flames please; this is a serious question; if the discussion gets too heavy, it can move to net.motss.) -- -- Jeff Sargent {allegra|decvax|harpo|ihnp4|seismo|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq "...I've got to be where my spirit can run free..."