Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: notesfiles - hp internal release 1.2; site hp-pcd.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!houxm!houxz!vax135!floyd!cmcl2!seismo!hao!hplabs!hp-pcd!daver From: daver@hp-pcd.UUCP Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Re: In defense of marriage (thoughts Message-ID: <10400008@hp-pcd.UUCP> Date: Sun, 17-Jun-84 21:59:00 EDT Article-I.D.: hp-pcd.10400008 Posted: Sun Jun 17 21:59:00 1984 Date-Received: Tue, 5-Jun-84 20:18:53 EDT References: <981@nsc.UUCP> Organization: Hewlett-Packard Portable Computer Division - Corvallis, OR Lines: 21 Nf-ID: #R:nsc:-98100:hpcvrd:10400008:000:1379 Nf-From: hpcvrd!daver Jun 1 17:59:00 1984 I'm afraid I have to disagree with chuqie's analysis of the reasons to get or to stay married. Traditionally marriages have been arranged, often without the prospective participants even meeting each other until the ceremony. Amazingly enough, such marriages actually lasted. The thing that makes a marriage last is the commitment to the marriage by the participants. Notice that I said commitment to the marriage, not to the other person! Such a commitment requires acceptance of imperfections ("for better or worse"), problems ("in sickness and health") and changes in personal interests or tastes ("till death do us part"). Most of all it takes patience. A serious commitment makes one more likely to try to adapt to changes and trade-off one's personal desires for the couple's shared goals. We live in a society where we are taught to seek instant gratification of our most trivial desires and follow the latest fads (whose name is on the back of your jeans?) without thinking, and this is not conducive to keeping long term commitments. Once you start bucking this trend (make a commitment to yourself to never buy anything on the day you first see it - come back a week later and if you still want it then buy it; you'll be amazed at how many things you end up not buying) life actually becomes easier and more meaningful. Dave Rabinowitz hplabs!hp-pcd!daver