Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site pucc-h Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!mgnetp!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!CS-Mordred!Pucc-H:aeq From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: pedestalization Message-ID: <751@pucc-h> Date: Mon, 4-Jun-84 18:02:43 EDT Article-I.D.: pucc-h.751 Posted: Mon Jun 4 18:02:43 1984 Date-Received: Wed, 6-Jun-84 06:01:32 EDT Organization: Purdue University Computing Center Lines: 27 I seem to find myself indulging in that habit common to many men of many eras, i.e. perceiving myself as a real low-life, leprous scumbag compared with the women I find attractive. I have a lot of characteristics that are not any too nice (though some of them are socially acceptable, e.g. cynicism); many of the women I know seem to lack these unpleasant characteristics. They seem to be just incredibly pure compared to me. I'm not the first man to feel this way; I have read that Theodore Roosevelt wrote in his diary about his wife-to-be something like: "How she, so sweet and pure [and a few other similar adjectives], can even think of marrying me, is beyond my comprehension." Obviously I'm not at the marrying stage. I find myself afraid that if a really nice woman really knew me, and saw all the sins I have that she lacks, she would want no more to do with me -- at least she certainly would not want to get romantically involved; she might remain a friend, though even that's doubtful, because I'm not sure a lot of the nice women I know could even understand me, having not gone through the background I have which has nurtured so much negative stuff within me. I agree with the answer to the title of the book Rsk and I recommended: Why am I afraid to tell you who I am? Because if I tell you who I am, you may not like who I am, and it's all I have. Anyone have any comments on the pedestal syndrome? Particularly this is addressed to the female readers of this group, to whom my question is: Do you really deserve the pedestals you often get? If not, why not? (You don't have to go into harrowing detail, just enough for me to generalize from.) -- -- Jeff Sargent {allegra|decvax|harpo|ihnp4|seismo|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq "...I've got to be where my spirit can run free..."