Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site eosp1.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!princeton!eosp1!robison
From: robison@eosp1.UUCP (Tobias D. Robison)
Newsgroups: net.jokes.d
Subject: Re: Natural Childbirth by Dave Barry
Message-ID: <940@eosp1.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 14-Jun-84 18:03:05 EDT
Article-I.D.: eosp1.940
Posted: Thu Jun 14 18:03:05 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 15-Jun-84 00:57:29 EDT
Organization: Exxon Office Systems, Princeton, NJ
Lines: 49

References:

I've now received one public and one private comment on my lack of
humor;  I'm going to comment once more.  My wife and I went through
three Lamaze births.  It was a wonderful experience, full of humor and
delight in the preparation, and full of agony and hard work in the
event.  In general I agree with Don Stanwyck, except that I did not
find Dave Barry amusing because:

	- he was too childish
	- he was too innacurate

Erma Bombeck does his sort of thing ever so much better.

A nurse who gave us some of our training warned us to look out for
the little critters AFTER they started to grow up.  She told us the
following story:

Once she was ironing clothes, and her youngest of three managed to
shove a toy metal fork into an electrical outlet behind the
refrigerator.  The fork melted, the lights went out, but the kid was
ok.  Every single socket in their house was either filled by a screwed
in plug, or covered with a cover, except this particular one, because
neither she nor her husband was small enough to reach it or notice it.
By the time she had gotten the circuit breaker back on and taken a
quick look at the melted fork, the same child has poured an entire
bottle of coca cola into the iron!

The Lamaze training included two items among others:

	- Warning: the prospective mother may become irritabe during
	  labor.

	- Suggestion: the prospective mother may want to suck ice chips
	  during labor.

We kept these in mind, but somehow I failed to anticipate the
connection.  During labor, many an ice chip was spit expertly at
my face;  as a target, I was a great comfort to my wife.

The first time around, I asked the obstetrician to allow me into
the delivery room in advance to take meter readings for photographs.
He allowed me in, but only after apologizing for failing to post
a comprehensive light meter chart for the entire room.

					- Toby Robison (not Robinson!)
					allegra!eosp1!robison
					decvax!ittvax!eosp1!robison
					princeton!eosp1!robison