Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1.chuqui 4/7/84; site nsc.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!hao!hplabs!nsc!chuqui From: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuq Von Rospach) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: pedestalization Message-ID: <1025@nsc.UUCP> Date: Thu, 7-Jun-84 12:34:07 EDT Article-I.D.: nsc.1025 Posted: Thu Jun 7 12:34:07 1984 Date-Received: Sat, 9-Jun-84 08:25:52 EDT References: <751@pucc-h> <20@ut-sally.UUCP> Organization: The Warlocks Cave Lines: 31 >The pedestal syndrome is not limited to men. >Women do it too. I think everyone pedestalizes. It usually happens because you know all of your own faults while you see only the good points of the person you are with. That makes the other person superior, if not perfect, in your eyes. I pedestalize a lot because that happens to be the way I am. Fortunately I can (usually) recognize when it is happening and deal with it so that it (hopefully) doesn't get out of hand. There are definite advantages to putting people on pedestals, but you need a dirty mind to think of them. >The common feeling is expressed by Groucho Marx: >"I would never want to belong to a club that would have someone >like me for a member." > >Unfortunately, that attitude is pretty self-defeating, and the only >hope is to strike a nice balance between a healthy appreciation >of your good qualities, which you can bring to the relationship >and which your SO may not necessarily have, and a humble sense of >where you need to improve (where your SO might help you). Hear, hear, Wendy! Remember that the ONLY thing worse than pedestalizing someone else is putting yourself up there so others can see you better. chuq -- From the closet of anxieties of: Chuq Von Rospach {amd70,fortune,hplabs,ihnp4}!nsc!chuqui (408) 733-2600 x242 I'm sure I have my death ray in here somewhere...