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From: segs@mhuxv.UUCP (slusky)
Newsgroups: net.religion.jewish
Subject: Genuine S:abuot Minhagim
Message-ID: <122@mhuxv.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 8-Jun-84 08:46:54 EDT
Article-I.D.: mhuxv.122
Posted: Fri Jun  8 08:46:54 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 9-Jun-84 07:45:41 EDT
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Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Murray Hill
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I thought that Y.S.Martillo might be getting tired of
having to hold up his end of all the arguments in this
group, so I'm going to fill in just this once.

Having just completed our observance of S:abuot, I wanted to
inform you Ashkenazim of the normative Jewish minhagim (as
practiced in Libya, of course) surrounding the yom tob,
which (of course) differ from the Westernized, assimilated
practices you are generally familiar with.

First of all, we real Jews begin three days before S:abuot
with the joyous ceremony of K'liy'at Hanas:im (Locking Up
the Women), since, after all, the Torah states that before
the revelation at Har Sinai we were commanded, "Heyoo n'honim
lis:los:et yamim 'al tigg's:oo 'ees:s:a." (Be ready against
the third day; come not near a woman.) Exodus 19:15
All the women in the community are locked up in the largest house in the
community until the arrival of the hag. The men in the community
take turns standing guard to see that none of the women get out.

Meanwhile, inside the women's house, the women are busy preparing
the roasted, stewed and braised goats. All this eating of dairy
foods on S:abuot is clearly just another empty-headed Western invention.
On S:abuot we Jews eat meat just as on any other hag, but not beef or
veal since that might be taken to represent the 'egel ha zahab (golden
calf) and not lamb since lamb is associated with the qarban pesah.
This practice of eating goat on S:abuot is clearly substantiated
in the Talmud (S:abuot 555-1212b). Here in this barbaric part of the
world you can't even get kosher goat. Typical!

Lastly, we decorate the sifrei Torah with rocks on strings hung
from the 'aytzim. This is to remind us of the loohot ha'eben (stone
tablets) which Moshe Rabbenu brought down from Har Sinai, a beautiful
minhag. Any simpering fool who decorates the sifrei Torah with flowers
is just drumming up business for their local, assimilated, Westernized,
Ashkenazic allergist.

A belated Hag Sameach to you all.

				Estrallita Nassim Hmessa Albez	
				(known in her Ashkenazic state as Susan Slusky)

				an Equal Opportunity Lampooner

(As my great grandfather Hakam Hakam used to say, "She who puts rocks on 
the Sefer Torah will have rocks and Torah in her head." Only of course he
said it in JudeoArabic so it sounded much better.)

-- 
mhuxv!segs