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From: daver@hp-pcd.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Re: In defense of marriage (thoughts
Message-ID: <10400008@hp-pcd.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 17-Jun-84 21:59:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: hp-pcd.10400008
Posted: Sun Jun 17 21:59:00 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 5-Jun-84 20:18:53 EDT
References: <981@nsc.UUCP>
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Portable Computer Division - Corvallis, OR
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Nf-ID: #R:nsc:-98100:hpcvrd:10400008:000:1379
Nf-From: hpcvrd!daver    Jun  1 17:59:00 1984

I'm afraid I have to disagree with chuqie's analysis of the reasons to get or
to stay married.  Traditionally marriages have been arranged, often without
the prospective participants even meeting each other until the ceremony.
Amazingly enough, such marriages actually lasted.  The thing that makes a 
marriage last is the commitment to the marriage by the participants.  Notice
that I said commitment to the marriage, not to the other person!  Such a
commitment requires acceptance of imperfections ("for better or worse"),
problems ("in sickness and health") and changes in personal interests or tastes
("till death do us part").  Most of all it takes patience.  A serious
commitment makes one more likely to try to adapt to changes and trade-off one's
personal desires for the couple's shared goals.  We live in a society where
we are taught to seek instant gratification of our most trivial desires and
follow the latest fads (whose name is on the back of your jeans?) without 
thinking, and this is not conducive to keeping long term commitments.  Once you
start bucking this trend (make a commitment to yourself to never buy anything 
on the day you first see it - come back a week later and if you still want it
then buy it; you'll be amazed at how many things you end up not buying) life 
actually becomes easier and more meaningful.

Dave Rabinowitz
hplabs!hp-pcd!daver