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From: ron@trsvax.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Car Insurance - (nf)
Message-ID: <53100041@trsvax.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 14-Jun-84 22:22:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: trsvax.53100041
Posted: Thu Jun 14 22:22:00 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 22-Jun-84 03:22:58 EDT
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Nf-ID: #N:trsvax:53100041:000:2457
Nf-From: trsvax!ron    Jun 14 21:22:00 1984

#N:trsvax:53100041:000:2457
trsvax!ron    Jun 14 21:22:00 1984


     The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where
car drivers attempted to summarize the details on an accident in the
fewest possible words.  The instances of faulty writing serve to confirm
that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining.

 1)	Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a
	tree I didn't have.

 2)	The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its
	intentions.

 3)	I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my
	head through it.

 4)	I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

 5)	A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

 6)	A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

 7)	The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times
	before I hit him.

 8)	I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law
	and headed over the embankment.

 9)	In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

10)	I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.  As I
	reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I
	did not see the other car.

11)	I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and
	had an accident.

12)	I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal
	joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

13)	The telephone pole was approaching.  I was attempting to swerve out of
	its way when I struck the front end.

14)	As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place
	where no stop sign had ever appeared before.  I was unable to stop in
	time to avoid the accident.

15)	To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian

16)	My car was legally parked and it backed into the other vehicle.

17)	An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

18)	I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my had, found
	that I had a fractured skull.

19)	I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the
	road when I struck him.

20)	The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

21)	I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the roof
	of my car.

22)	The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with
	a big mouth.

23)	I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a
	ditch by some stray cows.


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