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From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: pedestalization
Message-ID: <751@pucc-h>
Date: Mon, 4-Jun-84 18:02:43 EDT
Article-I.D.: pucc-h.751
Posted: Mon Jun  4 18:02:43 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 6-Jun-84 06:01:32 EDT
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Lines: 27

I seem to find myself indulging in that habit common to many men of many eras,
i.e. perceiving myself as a real low-life, leprous scumbag compared with the
women I find attractive.  I have a lot of characteristics that are not any too
nice (though some of them are socially acceptable, e.g. cynicism); many of the
women I know seem to lack these unpleasant characteristics.  They seem to be
just incredibly pure compared to me.  I'm not the first man to feel this way;
I have read that Theodore Roosevelt wrote in his diary about his wife-to-be
something like:  "How she, so sweet and pure [and a few other similar
adjectives], can even think of marrying me, is beyond my comprehension."
Obviously I'm not at the marrying stage.  I find myself afraid that if a
really nice woman really knew me, and saw all the sins I have that she lacks,
she would want no more to do with me -- at least she certainly would not want
to get romantically involved; she might remain a friend, though even that's
doubtful, because I'm not sure a lot of the nice women I know could even
understand me, having not gone through the background I have which has
nurtured so much negative stuff within me.  I agree with the answer to the
title of the book Rsk and I recommended: Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?
Because if I tell you who I am, you may not like who I am, and it's all I have.
Anyone have any comments on the pedestal syndrome?  Particularly this is
addressed to the female readers of this group, to whom my question is:	Do
you really deserve the pedestals you often get?  If not, why not? (You don't
have to go into harrowing detail, just enough for me to generalize from.)

-- 
-- Jeff Sargent
{allegra|decvax|harpo|ihnp4|seismo|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq
"...I've got to be where my spirit can run free..."