Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site opus.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!hou3c!hocda!houxm!houxz!vax135!floyd!cmcl2!seismo!hao!cires!nbires!opus!rcd From: rcd@opus.UUCP (Dick Dunn) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: pedestalization Message-ID: <536@opus.UUCP> Date: Wed, 6-Jun-84 02:27:43 EDT Article-I.D.: opus.536 Posted: Wed Jun 6 02:27:43 1984 Date-Received: Thu, 7-Jun-84 19:03:32 EDT References: <751@pucc-h> Organization: NBI, Boulder Lines: 36>I seem to find myself indulging in that habit common to many men of many eras, >i.e. perceiving myself as a real low-life, leprous scumbag compared with the >women I find attractive. I have a lot of characteristics that are not any too >nice (though some of them are socially acceptable, e.g. cynicism);... Cynicism can be nice or not, depending on how you handle it...but read on >I find myself afraid that if a >really nice woman really knew me, and saw all the sins I have that she lacks, >she would want no more to do with me... I seriously doubt that this would happen. Jeff, she sees HER sins (or shortcomings, or whatever) as you see YOURS. >Anyone have any comments on the pedestal syndrome? Particularly this is >addressed to the female readers of this group, to whom my question is: Do >you really deserve the pedestals you often get? If not, why not?... OK, I'm not a female - but look: It's not really up to the females to deserve (or not) the pedestals they get. Those pedestals are more the invention of the men who create them (although certain sorts of women seek them). But let's not go showering adulation on someone and then turn around to ask if it was deserved. The bottom line on this issue, as I see it, is that the only serious matter for concern for Jeff and other men who feel this way is the lack of self- esteem. THAT is something that a MOTAS WILL sense. Don't go around feeling ashamed of yourself. Other people have their faults, and they know it; they live with them without feeling ashamed all the time. Take the time you'd spend feeling guilty/ashamed/etc. and spend it working to correct those faults. Better yet, spend it having fun. -- Dick Dunn {hao,ucbvax,allegra}!nbires!rcd (303)444-5710 x3086 ...Never offend with style when you can offend with substance.