Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site mhuxv.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!floyd!vax135!houxz!houxm!mhuxl!mhuxv!segs From: segs@mhuxv.UUCP (slusky) Newsgroups: net.religion.jewish Subject: Genuine S:abuot Minhagim Message-ID: <122@mhuxv.UUCP> Date: Fri, 8-Jun-84 08:46:54 EDT Article-I.D.: mhuxv.122 Posted: Fri Jun 8 08:46:54 1984 Date-Received: Sat, 9-Jun-84 07:45:41 EDT Distribution: net Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Murray Hill Lines: 50 I thought that Y.S.Martillo might be getting tired of having to hold up his end of all the arguments in this group, so I'm going to fill in just this once. Having just completed our observance of S:abuot, I wanted to inform you Ashkenazim of the normative Jewish minhagim (as practiced in Libya, of course) surrounding the yom tob, which (of course) differ from the Westernized, assimilated practices you are generally familiar with. First of all, we real Jews begin three days before S:abuot with the joyous ceremony of K'liy'at Hanas:im (Locking Up the Women), since, after all, the Torah states that before the revelation at Har Sinai we were commanded, "Heyoo n'honim lis:los:et yamim 'al tigg's:oo 'ees:s:a." (Be ready against the third day; come not near a woman.) Exodus 19:15 All the women in the community are locked up in the largest house in the community until the arrival of the hag. The men in the community take turns standing guard to see that none of the women get out. Meanwhile, inside the women's house, the women are busy preparing the roasted, stewed and braised goats. All this eating of dairy foods on S:abuot is clearly just another empty-headed Western invention. On S:abuot we Jews eat meat just as on any other hag, but not beef or veal since that might be taken to represent the 'egel ha zahab (golden calf) and not lamb since lamb is associated with the qarban pesah. This practice of eating goat on S:abuot is clearly substantiated in the Talmud (S:abuot 555-1212b). Here in this barbaric part of the world you can't even get kosher goat. Typical! Lastly, we decorate the sifrei Torah with rocks on strings hung from the 'aytzim. This is to remind us of the loohot ha'eben (stone tablets) which Moshe Rabbenu brought down from Har Sinai, a beautiful minhag. Any simpering fool who decorates the sifrei Torah with flowers is just drumming up business for their local, assimilated, Westernized, Ashkenazic allergist. A belated Hag Sameach to you all. Estrallita Nassim Hmessa Albez (known in her Ashkenazic state as Susan Slusky) an Equal Opportunity Lampooner (As my great grandfather Hakam Hakam used to say, "She who puts rocks on the Sefer Torah will have rocks and Torah in her head." Only of course he said it in JudeoArabic so it sounded much better.) -- mhuxv!segs