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From: yechiel@aecom.UUCP (Yechiel Corn)
Newsgroups: net.religion.jewish
Subject: Purim Torah ???
Message-ID: <420@aecom.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 16-Mar-84 10:25:12 EST
Article-I.D.: aecom.420
Posted: Fri Mar 16 10:25:12 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 17-Mar-84 07:04:00 EST
Organization: Albert Einstein Coll. of Med., NY
Lines: 112
In going through my old files, I came across this Purim-worthy
manual page developed a couple of years ago. It will be especially
appreciated by all the YU & Stern College alumni out there (and I have
seen a number of them contributing to net.religion.jewish)
Enjoy and Chag Purim Sameach!!
Yechiel Corn
============================================================================
Here is the manual to a new and prosperous program developed
solely on purim or when we were stoned, stewed, or otherwise
influenced (i.e., mind altering substances). Here is the manual
page...
^D(1) Yom revii 15 Adar 5742 ^D(1)
NAME
^D ()
SYNOPSIS
^D [options] [files] [filesystems] [directories]
[uid wanted] [name of current root user]
[stern girls to be notified] ...
DESCRIPTION
^D is a non interactive program to be used only in background
mode. It is used to terminate or creat ghost shells, unkillable processes,
forkathons, fileathons, exceedsathons, and telethons (for Jerry's kids).
It may be used only when there is a fullsave in action or
when there is an incremental save that is bombing.
As a safety feature a new logger appears on the terminal
when ^D is invoked. The program will not slow down the system since
it only uses up next week's cpu time.
The options may be specified in any order or even on different
lines. The meaning of the options are as follows:
^a - takes a string of the form YYMMDD. ^D will then
postpone its usage of the cpu till that date + 7
days unless its February which in case it will
use it 28 days in advance.
^b - balance books. Randomizes the exceeds and charges
data bases. The seed for the rand() is the time()
x-ored with the first 20 locations after the mem
sys error trap vector divided by the number of users
and masked with the number of unused uid's.
^c - crash. As opposed to the maint command shutdown(1m)
this command brings the system down in an inorderly
fashion. It first sends a kill -21 to the scheduler
which means sit on it and rotate to the left 7 bits.
It then overwrites the superblock with sunday's comics,
and proceeds to dump all of core backwards and puts
it in /etc/utmp. It then takes the twelfth 400 bytes
of that dump and overwrites the boot block.
^d - dumps and cleans all of core and puts it in
operator's out basket.
^e - enter the self destruct sequence. The program
will prompt you for the destruct code. Please
unfasten your seatbelts. The no smoking sign
will go on and the stewardess will inform you
to walk to the rear of the disk drives.
^f - creat new born computers. A message of the
form "F@#$" will be typed. This portion
of the program is not supported.
^s - swap user id's with your neighbor's wife.
DIAGNOSTICS
AECOM UNIX
User:
or
WOW!! for the ^s and ^f options.
CAVE MAN
This program was developed on IGOR - the IBM 1130 BCE.
PAC MAN
GRUPPA GRUPPA
BUGS
This program has been known to work.
REVISION LEVEL 0.2
This manual describes versions 2.2 and above.
RESTRICTIONS
Drivers license required.
AUTHORS
Robert Berlinger (naftoli)
Elliott Adler (eadler) currently exceeded so... (who)
Larry Freund (freund)
Charlie Straus (jarnagin), (schertz), (root?)
PUBLISHER
Yechiel Corn (corn), (regis), (root), (hotline), etc.
-32767-