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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!floyd!harpo!seismo!hao!hplabs!hp-pcd!uoregon!uo-vax1!keldsen
From: keldsen@uo-vax1.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Getting attention . . .
Message-ID: <34100005@uo-vax1.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 2-Mar-84 23:07:00 EST
Article-I.D.: uo-vax1.34100005
Posted: Fri Mar  2 23:07:00 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 6-Mar-84 04:09:07 EST
Organization: Univ of Oregon - Eugene, OR
Lines: 19
Nf-ID: #N:uo-vax1:34100005:000:1001
Nf-From: uo-vax1!keldsen    Mar  2 20:07:00 1984

A certain young minister was having trouble keeping the attention of his
congregation.  Seems that they kept falling asleep.  So, he went to visit
an old friend of his, who was also a minister, but who was much more
successful.  His friend told him an attention-getting trick:  "When the
folks are starting to doze off, I say, rather brazenly, 'Last night I
held another man's wife in my arms.'  When the gasps die down a bit
(and I have their attention) I say, 'It was my own dear mother.'"

The first minister agreed to try this during his very next sermon.

Next Sunday, the congregation settled down in expectation of yet
another dull sermon, and some of them drifted off to sleep.  The young
minister, noting this, decided to use his newly learned ploy.  "Last
night, I held another man's wife in my arms."  The entire congregation
sat BOLT UPRIGHT.  The minister, somewhat flustered at receiving such a
spectacular response, continued, "and uh, uh, my heavens, I've
forgotten who she was!"

Dak