Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: notesfiles Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!floyd!harpo!seismo!hao!hplabs!hp-pcd!uoregon!uo-vax1!keldsen From: keldsen@uo-vax1.UUCP Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Getting attention . . . Message-ID: <34100005@uo-vax1.UUCP> Date: Fri, 2-Mar-84 23:07:00 EST Article-I.D.: uo-vax1.34100005 Posted: Fri Mar 2 23:07:00 1984 Date-Received: Tue, 6-Mar-84 04:09:07 EST Organization: Univ of Oregon - Eugene, OR Lines: 19 Nf-ID: #N:uo-vax1:34100005:000:1001 Nf-From: uo-vax1!keldsen Mar 2 20:07:00 1984 A certain young minister was having trouble keeping the attention of his congregation. Seems that they kept falling asleep. So, he went to visit an old friend of his, who was also a minister, but who was much more successful. His friend told him an attention-getting trick: "When the folks are starting to doze off, I say, rather brazenly, 'Last night I held another man's wife in my arms.' When the gasps die down a bit (and I have their attention) I say, 'It was my own dear mother.'" The first minister agreed to try this during his very next sermon. Next Sunday, the congregation settled down in expectation of yet another dull sermon, and some of them drifted off to sleep. The young minister, noting this, decided to use his newly learned ploy. "Last night, I held another man's wife in my arms." The entire congregation sat BOLT UPRIGHT. The minister, somewhat flustered at receiving such a spectacular response, continued, "and uh, uh, my heavens, I've forgotten who she was!" Dak