Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 Fluke 1/4/84; site fluke.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!floyd!harpo!decvax!ucbvax!ucbcad!tektronix!uw-beaver!ssc-vax!fluke!dan From: dan@fluke.UUCP (Dan Everhart) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: canonical collection of oxymorons Message-ID: <977@vax2.fluke.UUCP> Date: Mon, 19-Mar-84 13:46:58 EST Article-I.D.: vax2.977 Posted: Mon Mar 19 13:46:58 1984 Date-Received: Thu, 22-Mar-84 00:44:50 EST Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Everett, WA Lines: 162 Well, I see that oxymorons have decided to make a comeback. Over a year ago I posted an article requesting oxymorons and made a collection of all of the ones that were posted or mailed to me. The canonical collection of oxymorons follows. (146 of them.) If you want to post an oxymoron please check first to see if its on the list. (They are alphabetized.) This will save wear and tear on the 'n' keys of the oxymoron haters and will save time for those who have already seen them. Dan Everhart John Fluke Mfg. Co. { decvax!microsof, uw-beaver, allegra, lbl-csam, ssc-vax } !fluke!dan THE CANONICAL COLLECTION OF OXYMORONS "structured programming with goto statements." (book title) Group Health medical coverage Justice Berger a little big a twin advanced cobol almost perfect almost totally alone together american cheese approximately less than or equal to arbitrary fixed constant assembly language astrological forecast autistic behavior awful pretty baby grand piano beauty bark benevolent dictatorship black light british humor business ethics buy now and save c program cherry tart civil engineer civil servant civil war civilized world classical novel computer science computer security continental breakfast data base consistency death benefits dorm food drastic improvement duplicate original easy credit easy to revise educational television effective management elementary differential equations excess profit extreme moderation fast, cheap, and good fault tollerant systems final draft first annual foamsteel free society fresh frozen fun run funny oxymoron genteel snob genuine imitation good landlord. good lightbulb joke great regular flavor greatly reduced green oranges guest host gun safety happily married heights of depravity holy war homo sapiens hopelessly optimistic hot water heater human compassion humorous oxymoron idle gossip job fulfillment jumbo shrimp last train lean pork life insurance live recording live television low costmagnificent desolation management decision management potential marijuana initiative marital aids marketing person military budget military intelligence minor disaster moral duty mormon theology most unique (or very unique) negative feedback (?) non-stop flight nuclear safety od -x open loop opportunities at original copy peace offensive plain chocolate plastic glass plastic silverware political courtesy political science popular science postal service practically useless pretty ugly professional sports progressive conservatives proposed standard purdue football quite a few random logic real numbers recorded live rehabilitated criminal reputable salesman rock 'n roll music rock music rules of war safe medication safe risk safety strap (on skis) sanitary sewer scientific creationism silent 700 (a TI printing terminal) simple harmonic motion simple interest loan slow death software documentation software reliability soviet republic/ people's republic steadfast flexibility sweet and sour sweet sorrow this page intentionally left blank thunderous silence timely and economical revisions unacceptable solution unix performance vacuum filled western civilization wet snow wonder bread