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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!floyd!harpo!decvax!ucbvax!ucbcad!tektronix!uw-beaver!ssc-vax!fluke!dan
From: dan@fluke.UUCP (Dan Everhart)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: canonical collection of oxymorons
Message-ID: <977@vax2.fluke.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 19-Mar-84 13:46:58 EST
Article-I.D.: vax2.977
Posted: Mon Mar 19 13:46:58 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 22-Mar-84 00:44:50 EST
Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Everett, WA
Lines: 162

Well, I see that oxymorons have decided to make a comeback.  Over a year ago
I posted an article requesting oxymorons and made a collection of all of the
ones that were posted or mailed to me.

The canonical collection of oxymorons follows.  (146 of them.)  If you want
to post an oxymoron please check first to see if its on the list.  (They are
alphabetized.)  This will save wear and tear on the 'n' keys of the oxymoron
haters and will save time for those who have already seen them.

Dan Everhart
John Fluke Mfg. Co.
{ decvax!microsof, uw-beaver, allegra, lbl-csam, ssc-vax } !fluke!dan


	THE CANONICAL COLLECTION OF OXYMORONS

"structured programming with goto statements."  (book title)
Group Health medical coverage
Justice Berger
a little big
a twin
advanced cobol
almost perfect
almost totally
alone together
american cheese
approximately less than or equal to
arbitrary fixed constant
assembly language
astrological forecast		
autistic behavior
awful pretty
baby grand piano
beauty bark
benevolent dictatorship
black light
british humor
business ethics
buy now and save
c program
cherry tart
civil engineer
civil servant
civil war
civilized world
classical novel
computer science
computer security
continental breakfast
data base consistency
death benefits
dorm food
drastic improvement
duplicate original
easy credit
easy to revise
educational television
effective management
elementary differential equations
excess profit
extreme moderation
fast, cheap, and good
fault tollerant systems
final draft
first annual
foamsteel
free society			
fresh frozen
fun run
funny oxymoron
genteel snob
genuine imitation
good landlord.
good lightbulb joke
great regular flavor
greatly reduced
green oranges
guest host
gun safety
happily married
heights of depravity
holy war
homo sapiens
hopelessly optimistic
hot water heater
human compassion
humorous oxymoron
idle gossip
job fulfillment
jumbo shrimp
last train
lean pork
life insurance
live recording
live television
low cost 
magnificent desolation
management decision
management potential
marijuana initiative
marital aids
marketing person
military budget
military intelligence
minor disaster
moral duty
mormon theology
most unique (or very unique)
negative feedback (?)
non-stop flight
nuclear safety
od -x
open loop
opportunities at 
original copy
peace offensive
plain chocolate
plastic glass
plastic silverware		
political courtesy
political science
popular science
postal service
practically useless
pretty ugly
professional sports
progressive conservatives
proposed standard
purdue football
quite a few
random logic
real numbers
recorded live
rehabilitated criminal
reputable salesman
rock 'n roll music
rock music
rules of war
safe medication
safe risk
safety strap	(on skis)
sanitary sewer	
scientific creationism
silent 700	(a TI printing terminal)
simple harmonic motion
simple interest loan
slow death
software documentation
software reliability
soviet republic/ people's republic
steadfast flexibility
sweet and sour
sweet sorrow
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thunderous silence		
timely and economical revisions
unacceptable solution
unix performance
vacuum filled
western civilization
wet snow
wonder bread