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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!akgua!sb1!mb2c!uofm-cv!jd
From: jd@uofm-cv.UUCP (Joseph B. Douds)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Famous baseball anecdote
Message-ID: <514@uofm-cv.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 7-Mar-84 18:01:42 EST
Article-I.D.: uofm-cv.514
Posted: Wed Mar  7 18:01:42 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 8-Mar-84 19:24:54 EST
Lines: 61


I know there's a name for this style of joke, I can't remember it,
and I don't give a damn, either.

     There was once a great relief pitcher named Mel Famey.  He was not
the usual bullpen ace, because his pitching ability depended on how
many beers he had drunk, but not in direct proportion.  If he was dry,
he was only so-so, but a couple of brews made him the terror of the
league.  Too much of a good thing would then downgrade his pitching.

     Well, the season went on with old Mel as the hero more often than
not.  It came down to the World Series, seventh game, last of the ninth,
bases loaded, and two outs.  The manager knew when it was time to bring
out a relief pitcher. (Unlike Whitey Herzog when he was with Kansas City)

     So old Mel trots out to the mound.  The first two pitches are low,
and Mel calls time and heads over to the dugout for a beer.  He downs a
Schlitz faster than you could imagine, then returns to the mound.

     Mel's next two pitches blow right past the batter, evening the
count at 2-2.  The next pitch is low, so Mel goes for another Schlitz.
The batter knows he's doomed, so he decides to close his eyes and hope
for the best.  Mel starts back to the mound.

     The pitch....a blazing fastball....the swing....FOUL BALL!

     The pitch....a slider......the swing.....FOUL BALL!

     The batter fouls off pitch after pitch until the coach comes to
the mound, with a can of Schlitz.

     "Mel, drink this, fire it past him and let's get out of here."

     "But, I feel good, and I think another brew will do me in."

     "I'm the pitching coach, and I make the decisions, so drink it!"

     Mel drinks about half and staggers a little.  He looks at the
pitching coach, who signals to finish it off.  Mel finishes it off.

     Mel winds up...the pitch....a screwball.....OVER THE BACKSTOP!

     The game is over, Mel walked in the winning run!  The fans storm
storm the field, mobbing the winning team.  Mel throws away his empty
beer can in disgust and starts to head for the showers when he sees
some fans clawing each other for the can.

     Mel turns and says, "What do you want with that old beer can?"

     The two guys grabbed the Schlitz can and replied, "This is gonna
be worth something someday, a real collector's item."

     "Yeah, that Schlitz is the beer that made Mel Famey walk us."



 I can't believe I told that without being sloppy drunk.  -jd

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