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From: 68579647@sdccsu3.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: more of the long adventures w/ some 1st-person narrative by Pierre
Message-ID: <1645@sdccsu3.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 10-Mar-84 15:14:16 EST
Article-I.D.: sdccsu3.1645
Posted: Sat Mar 10 15:14:16 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 13-Mar-84 19:48:49 EST
Organization: U.C. San Diego, Computer Center
Lines: 228


                                  IX
             The interior of the building and of a new world



We examined the big wooden door which had a dragon and a man etched
into it. Winn touched the door, but nothing happened, so he started to
rub it. Still nothing happened so he rubbed it violently (it was
very smooth), accomplishing nothing. mouse touched an engraved sword and
it came out of the door, turning into a three-dimensional weapon. Winn
touched the man, who was very confused. He claimed to have been at a
wild party and lost consciousness. Warth doesn't believe this, but says
nothing. Thoron asked who the dragon-creature was, and the man said he
didn't know. A few minutes later, however, he said that it was his
companion who had been changed from human into reptilian shape by an
evil warlock or something. The human-type person wants his sword back so
mouse had to oblige. We told this person that we would like to find
Mhoram and he agrees to help us look for him. Inside the building we
find some floating hoops that reveal unearthly things on the other
sides. beyond one of them lay a great white expanse of nothing, and the
one who went into it found he could not get anywhere because he was not
touching anything. The hoop behind him was getting smaller and smaller,
so he ended up spitting. This propelled him backwards thru the door just
as it closed. There were many boring things behind a lot of these doors
(doubtless this is boring you, of course), so I will not go into detail
about those doors, as nothing eventful happened. Beyond one door,
however, was an alien landscape that had three moons and glass cities.
This lay one hundred feet below the hoop. There was also a river. We
thought Mhoram, if still alive, might be in this place, so we tried to
think of a way to get down. Winn asked the stranger if his lizard friend
objected to his riding on his back. The man said, "Yes, but if you want,
he'll carry you in his mouth." It grinned hugely then, showing a bunch
of stainless steel ivories. 
   I forget how we got down, but as it turned out finally, the stranger
was a devil or demon, as was his friend. We learned this when he
attacked Mhoram (who we found). 
   
  We decided to investigate the city, which was inhabited by geometrical
  objects. These things had no tentacles, arms, or anything, even eyes.
  There were a great many of spheres floating around and talking to one
  another. Pierre called them slobs and made a sketch of them.

Pierre, priding himself on being socialistic but most of all
anti-society, wanted to vandalize or something just as bad. He went
across the river on a bridge, tip-toed carefully to a door, and put his
ear to it for about a minute or so. Then, he cried,
  
  "What do I do now?"

to everyone else. 

Naturally we get in trouble with the citizens.


                               X

          The description speeds up a lot here, and is
          not as boring (in my opinion) as other parts.

                           NARRATIVE


The following is a
narrative given mostly by Pierre from talking:

"Um, mnn. So what happens, you see, is that we slaughter -well, it ends
 up that we get, get hite pretty bad, and we, we end up slaughtering
 this guy, okay? And then, we kinda work our way out, um, but what
 happens is the whole place was under siege from another race of these
 people, these kind of things. An' anyway, these guys, are-- these guys
 that were running the show before, that we totally nailed, were totally
 totalitarianistic, and the new guys that replaced them were for anarchy.
 So anyway, we, uh, we befriended one of the anarchist cubicles. It's
 something like this "(shows picture)", but it's cubist. So what we did
 was, we befriended him, and he says," (changing his voice to nasal)
 " 'Oh, well, I wanna go home'. So we said, 'Tha's all right, cool. Take
 us home. Ok. So he takes us to this, this wizard, I suppose, that's
 way, away. We had to hike for, uh, a day, which is equivalent ah, is
 equivalent to their time, is equivalent to seven days. "

 Eric: "Six days. "

 (everybody: "Six days.")

 Pierre again: "In the meantime we encountered an earthworm"
 (giant crustacean and not actually a worm at all)
 "...And two were swallowed, I think-"

 Thoron: (smiling) "I jumped in."

 (laughter)

 Pierre: "He jumped in--"

 Thoron: "I did."

 Xstarrael: "Why?"

 Eric: "Because it was about to swallow him anyway!"

 Thoron: "Because it was about to bite me so I just--Geronimo!"

 Pierre: "And that way he..."
 (time passes)
 Pierre: "I, of course, did it at long range and fired bows"
 [note: as you can see, the proper word should be 'arrows', but this was
 not changed from what he originally said.]
 Pierre: "I shot four."

 Mhoram: "And I jumped in."

 mouse: "What about me? I didn't jump in! I was all by myself!"

 (laughter)

 Winn: "I can't even remember what happened to me."
								   
 Pierre: "You were, like, conjuring one spell and you missed. "

 (laughter)

 Pierre: "You didn't do very much. Then what happened was the cubicle
 had gone on, and, see, the cubicle had to take a rest, so we went on
 ahead, and we met these birds, see, and we started flying."
 (The birds were really some sort of plated creatures. It is illogical
 to assume that they were giant insects, as there exoskeleton wouldn't
 support their bulk in mid-air.)
 "Yeah, now what was this new guy like? I wasn't sure. He look like a
 wizard or something? "

 Mhoram: "Sartar, you mean? "

 Pierre: "Yeah, Sartar. "

 Mhoram: "He was just...."

 Pierre: "Another one of those big blobs. "

 Winn: "Was it a person? "

 Mhoram: "No, it was just some weird creature, it was like a..a head
 sticking off and its ears down here and all kinds of tentacles around..."
 
 Pierre again: "Well anyway..."

 Xstarrael: "Are you communistic?"(To Mhoram)

 Mhoram: "Socialistic."

 Warth: "You used to be Capitalistic, or for monarchy. Odin is not
 Socialistic. I'm in trouble. I'm the only one who believes in monarchy!"

 Winn: "You're not in trouble because"(cupping his hands over his mouth
        and breathing heavily) "THE FORCE IS STRONG IN THIS ONE!"
 (there is no explanation to this)

 Pierre: "So, so after we meet this guy, he cast a kind of hex....hex,
 on all of us. Like, us, a couple of us were immune...I wasn't, of
 course. And so anyway, I got hexed, where I had to complete some, we
 had to complete some sort of quest..So we were geased, and we had to
 go on this quest. And the quest is what? I mean, what was the quest?"

 Winn: "We had to kill some lepoard thing or something."

 Mhoram: "Yeah, and it's hiding in the forest. "

 Pierre: "Yeah, well, after we kill that, then we have to go back and, "
 (unable to transcribe)

 Winn: "So right then we were in the midst of trying to kill this thing,
 and we were wandering aimlessly thru the woods. "

 Pierre: "Oh, Randal and some of his friends got abducted by some
 snake-things. So we had to get rid of some scum that were bothering
 us...Matthias always brings his stupid friends along when he pops up
 suddenly. I don't know how he got around. So, when they abducted them,
 they left you behind. "

 Winn: "Yeah, they said, 'We don't want you.'"

 (laughter)

                               XI
			     FOREST

We are now in a forest. Unless an important part of plot, will leave
matter-of-fact boring sundry stuff out, like what they had for
breakfast, etc.

A mist arose from the ground, and people began to fear the trees, which
seemed more and more menacing.

Then a tree steps into front of the path and says, "Who are you?"
Mhoram: "I am Mhoram, great worshipper of Odin."

The tree laughs, hahahahahaaa.

Thoron: "I'm Thoron, goblin-slayer, woman-layer. "

(Entire forest laughs)

Wraith and Winn express their heartfelt (?) admiration for trees. Winn
kisses one as Pierre humorously thinks it may be the tree's wife.

"What brings you here?" It said, changing into a lizard type creature.

"We are admiring your trees."

"---what *really* bring you here?--" it asked telepathically to Wraith.

"Two feet."

"Ah! Puny!"

Mhoram covers his eyes with his hand. Maybe he has mind-reading
capabilities. 

We tell the tree about what we want to do, and he would like to help us.
He is leading us now to a village. Nothing else is known as of yet.