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From: pat@ih1ap.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Divorce and Middle Aged Women
Message-ID: <171@ih1ap.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 30-Jun-83 14:47:11 EDT
Article-I.D.: ih1ap.171
Posted: Thu Jun 30 14:47:11 1983
Date-Received: Fri, 1-Jul-83 05:35:20 EDT
Lines: 48

Recently I have found out about two couples getting divorced which are
very similar to my own experience and many other examples in the last
5 years. I have a theory which explains what is happening but might
cause a few women to flame at me. My observations are in no way meant
to blame all divorces on women, but just explain the 2 or 3 divorces that
I was closely related to.

The American value system as taught to us by the WWII parents that created
us is based on two or three principles:

	1). Get married
	2). Get a good job
	3). Buy a house
	4). Have children

Because of the war, many of our parents (probably most) never achieved these
goals until later in life. Remember later means 40's because the average
life span was something like 62 in the 40's. The media, the war, the music,
and all culture was based on EMPHASIZING the value of the family and
indirectly these values.

Today, our culture is based on do your own thing, selfishness, and sex.
We achieve these values when we are 30 years old and ask ourselves whar
remains in life. There is but one answer to this question. DO IT AGAIN!
So we give up all that our parents charished to get divorced and
find a new one to do it all again with.

Women have another driving reason to give it all up. Please understand these
comment as my observations. Most women fear growing old and losing their
beauty. The entire culture shows YOUNG women doing YOUNG things. Examples
are shows like, "The Young and the Restless", hair coloring, the ivory
commercial which you pick the mother, etc.. When a women reaches the 30's
after having children, owning a house,boat, and whatever there is noting
left to attain. Some are lucky and begin careers which satisfy there new
needs. But most find only the same feeling between them and their
friends and loose the married image. They picture themselves young
and single moving on the Richard Geere types in some singles bar. The
lure of romance and the newness of being loved appeals to them until
they finally form a mental image of this thing. The same principle to
buying a car. Your car is fine until you SIT behind the wheel of the
new car. Then you must have it!

Well, this is getting alittle long, but I have so much to cover. I
am interested as to examples you might have that demonstrate the
correlation or lack of to these ideas from your own acquaintances.

Patrick A. Fargo (On the second time around!)
BTL - IH (ih1ap!fargo)