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From: holt@parsec.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Re: Your a nice guy but... - (nf)
Message-ID: <2357@uiucdcs.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 1-Jul-83 23:47:47 EDT
Article-I.D.: uiucdcs.2357
Posted: Fri Jul  1 23:47:47 1983
Date-Received: Thu, 7-Jul-83 19:49:22 EDT
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#R:ihuxp:-44200:parsec:42200001:000:1484
parsec!holt    Jun 30 16:02:00 1983


     This may sound a bit unusual, however, here goes....

     It seems to me that the best way to end a relationship as friends
is to have entered the relationship as friends.  In todays hurry, hurry,
rush, rush society, the push seems to be go to bed now, get to know each
other later.  I may be unusual, but, i prefer to become friends with 
someone, discovering the common ground and potential compatibility, before
getting more deeply involved.  Thus, when the relationship starts, there
is a base for it to stand upon.  And if for some reason (or many) things
don't work out (as they never seem to), there is still that base of
commonality and friendship to draw upon.  I'm not saying it isn't difficult
to end a relationship.  It is.  Sometimes it's very difficult.  But, if
the two people have been friends all along, it isn't ending because one
person now dislikes the other, but because of discovered incompatabilities.
And for the typical ego (be it male or female), incompatabilities are much
easier to accept than outright rejection.  This leads to a good line in
discouraging an overly zealous member of the opposite (same?) sex -
simply point out the obvious differences, and state that one or more is
very important to you.  It is always much better to be upfront when
discouraging a potential suiter.  "i've got to wash my hair tonight" will
usually just result in another call the next day.  

    Any comments?

			dave holt
			!{allegra,ihnp4,ctvax}!parsec!holt