Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10 beta 3/9/83; site fluke.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!microsoft!uw-beaver!ssc-vax!fluke!kurt
From: kurt@fluke.UUCP (Kurt Guntheroth)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: 101 uses for a dead uP
Message-ID: <632@vax2.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 3-Aug-83 19:55:28 EDT
Article-I.D.: vax2.632
Posted: Wed Aug  3 19:55:28 1983
Date-Received: Thu, 4-Aug-83 16:58:24 EDT
Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Everett, Wash
Lines: 81

This is the result of a previous survey.  I would love to see a few more of
these as I have only gotten to 65 and I really want 101.

{decvax!microsoft,ucbvax!blb-csam,allegra,sb1,uw-beaver}!fluke!kurt


101 USES FOR A DEAD MICROPROCESSOR (We have the following)

1  mustache comb
2  scarecrow for centipedes
3  crampons
4  cat brush
5  doormat to scrape off mud
6  jail for ants
7  paper spindle
8  back scratcher
9  barrettes for hair
10 thumbtacks	
11 bed of nails for a fakir
12 cleats	
13 booby traps	
14 cleaning finger nails
15 aggragate for concrete
16 fishing lure
17 miniature ligntning rods
18 barbed wire for slugs
19 self-piercing earrings
20 Japanese torture instrument (NEC parts)
21 `punk' jewellery
22 trellace for fungus
23 coffins for blown transistors
24 cookies
25 shingles
26 temporary surgical sutures
27 concurrent toothpicks
28 false eyelashes
29 taps for shoes
30 tupee for marines
31 lapel pins
32 self adhesive badges
33 prosthetic cat claws
34 headstones for your dead EPROMS
35 putting vent holes in pie shells
36 poker chips that wont slide off the table
37 dart-like game (thrown at flowcharts on a wall)
38 tire-poppers for terrorists to spread on roads
39 tiny harrow (pulled behind Tonka tractors)
40 guards to keep potatoes and round fruit from rolling off a table
41 a warning (Chief programmer wakes to find a dead uP in a pool of solder
   at the foot of his bed)
42 space shuttle tiles (ceramic packages only)
43 currency (change that stays in your pocket)
44 trading trinkets (sort of a high-tech nose bone)
45 buttons
46 killer velcro

>From ...!floyd!trb

47 symmetric multi bloodsamplers
48 pool table shims
49 multinib pens
50 blindfold
51 gag
52 two-pan balance weights
53 tire-balancing weights
54 gag candy
55 mini prop creatures from Star Wars
56 anti-static-foam holders
57 tatooing tool
58 universal antidote to induce vomiting
59 dominoes
60 little monorail trains

>From: ...!seismo!rlgvax!oz

61 Party snacks (serve with broken DIP switches...chips and dips)
62 shoe or boot laces
63 snaps for a parka
64 heating elements
65 cobblestone paving