Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 beta 3/9/83; site fluke.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!microsoft!uw-beaver!ssc-vax!fluke!kurt From: kurt@fluke.UUCP (Kurt Guntheroth) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: 101 uses for a dead uP Message-ID: <632@vax2.UUCP> Date: Wed, 3-Aug-83 19:55:28 EDT Article-I.D.: vax2.632 Posted: Wed Aug 3 19:55:28 1983 Date-Received: Thu, 4-Aug-83 16:58:24 EDT Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Everett, Wash Lines: 81 This is the result of a previous survey. I would love to see a few more of these as I have only gotten to 65 and I really want 101. {decvax!microsoft,ucbvax!blb-csam,allegra,sb1,uw-beaver}!fluke!kurt 101 USES FOR A DEAD MICROPROCESSOR (We have the following) 1 mustache comb 2 scarecrow for centipedes 3 crampons 4 cat brush 5 doormat to scrape off mud 6 jail for ants 7 paper spindle 8 back scratcher 9 barrettes for hair 10 thumbtacks 11 bed of nails for a fakir 12 cleats 13 booby traps 14 cleaning finger nails 15 aggragate for concrete 16 fishing lure 17 miniature ligntning rods 18 barbed wire for slugs 19 self-piercing earrings 20 Japanese torture instrument (NEC parts) 21 `punk' jewellery 22 trellace for fungus 23 coffins for blown transistors 24 cookies 25 shingles 26 temporary surgical sutures 27 concurrent toothpicks 28 false eyelashes 29 taps for shoes 30 tupee for marines 31 lapel pins 32 self adhesive badges 33 prosthetic cat claws 34 headstones for your dead EPROMS 35 putting vent holes in pie shells 36 poker chips that wont slide off the table 37 dart-like game (thrown at flowcharts on a wall) 38 tire-poppers for terrorists to spread on roads 39 tiny harrow (pulled behind Tonka tractors) 40 guards to keep potatoes and round fruit from rolling off a table 41 a warning (Chief programmer wakes to find a dead uP in a pool of solder at the foot of his bed) 42 space shuttle tiles (ceramic packages only) 43 currency (change that stays in your pocket) 44 trading trinkets (sort of a high-tech nose bone) 45 buttons 46 killer velcro >From ...!floyd!trb 47 symmetric multi bloodsamplers 48 pool table shims 49 multinib pens 50 blindfold 51 gag 52 two-pan balance weights 53 tire-balancing weights 54 gag candy 55 mini prop creatures from Star Wars 56 anti-static-foam holders 57 tatooing tool 58 universal antidote to induce vomiting 59 dominoes 60 little monorail trains >From: ...!seismo!rlgvax!oz 61 Party snacks (serve with broken DIP switches...chips and dips) 62 shoe or boot laces 63 snaps for a parka 64 heating elements 65 cobblestone paving