Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!ittvax!bunker!bunkerb!mat
From: mat@bunkerb.UUCP (Mat Frontera)
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: 55mph
Message-ID: <212@bunkerb.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 14-Jul-83 13:30:55 EDT
Article-I.D.: bunkerb.212
Posted: Thu Jul 14 13:30:55 1983
Date-Received: Thu, 14-Jul-83 19:57:58 EDT
Lines: 30


You know what really kills me......

Old, crusty, senile, farty Grandma and Grandpa, in their shiny 1972 Plymouth
Valiant, clogging up the left-most lane of Interstate 95 by going 4 miles per
hour, when I'm late for work.
Why oh why can't Grandma use the side roads? Really, why must she leave the
house at all, and go getting in the way of the regular people?
When you ask old Grandma where she's going, she says, "I'm not sure...".
When you ask her what her name is, she needs three tries to get it right.

She complains that the social security check is too small to pay the heating
bill, but there's always plenty to buy gas for the car, so she can go 
"cruisin' on the Interstate" during rush hour (well, I almost forgot, the
soap operas aren't on yet, so there's nothing else to do).

I think we should designate specific "senior citizens hours" for all major
highways. Maybe between 2:00 and 4:00 in the morning only. Any time Grandma
is caught on the road other than during these hours, the car is immediately
crushed and melted.

As for Grandma driving a big car as opposed to a small one, what's the
difference? She can't see out past the hood anyway, no matter how short it
is. Well, you go until you feel something hit. Then, back up a little, and
try again.

Wouldn't it be a reasonable idea to force Grandma to take a road test, BEFORE
renewing her license? It would certainly make for safer roads.

MATT.