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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!seismo!rlgvax!keith
From: keith@rlgvax.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: more bad guys getting girls
Message-ID: <826@rlgvax.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 15-Jul-83 11:34:35 EDT
Article-I.D.: rlgvax.826
Posted: Fri Jul 15 11:34:35 1983
Date-Received: Fri, 15-Jul-83 18:39:35 EDT
Organization: CCI Office Systems Group, Reston, VA
Lines: 57


							15 June 83
	We've had an on again, off again discussion here for quite awhile
on the fact that the bad guys get the girls.  Just recently, someone brought
up the fact that some men tend to be derogatory towards women, but women
tend to be attracted to them.
	Campers, it seems to me that attitudes aren't what's involved here.
Until you get to know a person, you respond to unimportant signals, for
instance, how does he dress, how does he tan, is he engaging, entertaining,
a good dancer.  *And*, since it is socially acceptable in a group of males
to be derogatory towards women (as it is also acceptable in a group of
women to be derogatory towards men) the men who subscribe to this practice
are going to tend to be the entertainers, the extroverts.  Thus, the guys
that can make a good first impression (read hustle the chicks).
	I think a much more important comparison would be who formeth the
longest, most satisfying relationships.  I know a man who drives a Delorean,
makes about 450K a year, is good looking and entertaining.  He will walk
into my bar and the women go slack-jawed and drool ever so slightly.  But...
he has never been able to form a relationship that lasted for more than a
month with anyone that I consider a nice person.  As soon as they find
out what he's *really* like, they drop him cold.
	A lot of y'all have been complaining that you are really *nice*
guys and that you never get anywhere.  We all play certain games, we all
sell ourselves, to our bosses, to our friends, to our professors.  Well,
if the product's good and the public isn't buying, better check out the
marketing end, huh?

		Robert Redford's still sleeping soundly,
		Keith
		...![ allegra, seismo, mcnc, we13 ]!rlgvax!keith

p.s.	I DON'T mean *selling* either.  As a bartender, I think I've heard
	every stupid line/lie in the book.  Women aren't stupid, and if you
	think they are, well, you've got some attitudes that I think ought to
	be re-examined.  However, it's difficult for them to tell you they
	like *your* particular style if you don't walk up and give them an
	opportunity.  I know it would be a lot easier if the world weren't
	so vulnerable, but you guys don't have any trouble at conferences,
	saying to someone, "Did you get the handout on high end parity?  Are
	there any more around?  Do you know anything about the next couple of
	speakers?  Who would you suggest?"  Do you?  For some incomprehensible
	reason, though, men would rather die than to pick out a young MOTOS,
	walk up to her and say "Did you get the handout for registration?
	Are there any more around? Do you know anything about the course
	registration here?  What professors have you enjoyed?"

p.p.s.	Again as a bartender... (recommend the profession to you, it's a
	great way to watch other guys meet girls) if you see a girl for
	20 minutes and ask her out, you've got a good chance of getting
	turned down.  Use that 20 minutes to find out enough about her that
	you can find her again.  A bar she frequents, a racquetball court
	she plays at, a course she's taking.  Then, meet her again, and
	it's a whole bunch easier.  Most women have been exposed to too
	many men that didn't think with their brains.  They're naturally
	wary of pick-up lines.  She's also much more likely to be relaxed
	around you.  After all, she saw you once and you didn't do anything
	*too* bizarre.  And, yes, it takes effort.  I suspect it's worth it.