Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!decwrl!flairvax!ellis From: ellis@flairvax.UUCP (Michael Ellis) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: What your Date Looks Like... - (nf) Message-ID: <191@flairvax.UUCP> Date: Sat, 30-Jul-83 03:31:16 EDT Article-I.D.: flairvax.191 Posted: Sat Jul 30 03:31:16 1983 Date-Received: Mon, 1-Aug-83 06:55:12 EDT References: zehntel.1150 Lines: 35 There is something to be said both for and against the "feigning "interest" approach. When I first became single (4 years ago), I had been living in a strongly circumscribed universe, as one would expect from the average middle class husband. Suddenly single and thrown out (railing against the way of the world, I might add), I was suddenly confronted with the diverse ways ways of the bizarre crowd called `singles'. Meeting such folk either drives one away, grumbling such quaint phrases as `dehumanizing, sexist, disgusting' ad nauseam, or, freshly perceiving all things anew, as the chance of a lifetime to meet those of vastly different world-view. My point is that remaining open-minded, even if partially against one's will -- that is, consciously suspending judgement -- has gotta be healthy even if the close-minded drip you end up awakening the next morning stupidly feels shame and other invalid emotions. If you say such flights into expansive mind-set destruction are 'feigning interest', then I suspect you may attribute too much importance to your daily emotional & intellectual state. If you use `suspension of judgement' as a technique for cynically maintaining status quo in your head, subsequently reverting to the egotistic `I picked her up' mentality, then you deserve the self- destructive guilt trips that typically assault hypocritical fools. Plus, you miss out on all that another person found precious in the world. -michael