Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!floyd!vax135!ariel!houti!hogpc!houxm!hocda!spanky!burl!we13!ihnp4!ixn5c!inuxc!pur-ee!uiucdcs!parsec!holt From: holt@parsec.UUCP Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Re: Your a nice guy but... - (nf) Message-ID: <2357@uiucdcs.UUCP> Date: Fri, 1-Jul-83 23:47:47 EDT Article-I.D.: uiucdcs.2357 Posted: Fri Jul 1 23:47:47 1983 Date-Received: Thu, 7-Jul-83 19:49:22 EDT Lines: 30 #R:ihuxp:-44200:parsec:42200001:000:1484 parsec!holt Jun 30 16:02:00 1983 This may sound a bit unusual, however, here goes.... It seems to me that the best way to end a relationship as friends is to have entered the relationship as friends. In todays hurry, hurry, rush, rush society, the push seems to be go to bed now, get to know each other later. I may be unusual, but, i prefer to become friends with someone, discovering the common ground and potential compatibility, before getting more deeply involved. Thus, when the relationship starts, there is a base for it to stand upon. And if for some reason (or many) things don't work out (as they never seem to), there is still that base of commonality and friendship to draw upon. I'm not saying it isn't difficult to end a relationship. It is. Sometimes it's very difficult. But, if the two people have been friends all along, it isn't ending because one person now dislikes the other, but because of discovered incompatabilities. And for the typical ego (be it male or female), incompatabilities are much easier to accept than outright rejection. This leads to a good line in discouraging an overly zealous member of the opposite (same?) sex - simply point out the obvious differences, and state that one or more is very important to you. It is always much better to be upfront when discouraging a potential suiter. "i've got to wash my hair tonight" will usually just result in another call the next day. Any comments? dave holt !{allegra,ihnp4,ctvax}!parsec!holt