Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!harpo!floyd!idis!mi-cec!dja From: dja@mi-cec.UUCP (Dave J. Aronson) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: long stupid joke (the best kind!) Message-ID: <125@mi-cec.UUCP> Date: Fri, 22-Jul-83 17:26:11 EDT Article-I.D.: mi-cec.125 Posted: Fri Jul 22 17:26:11 1983 Date-Received: Sat, 23-Jul-83 04:36:14 EDT Lines: 66 A rather long and poor joke, told to me by a friend a few years ago: Three men met on vacation in Scotland. Each man noticed that the other two were also carrying bagpipes, with tartans identical to his own! They soon discovered that they were long- lost relatives, having been willed the bagpipes by their great- great-grandfather. Needless to say, they soon became good friends, travelling everywhere together, and usually taking the bagpipes with them. Eventually, the vacation ended and they all had to go back to work. The visited each other frequently at their places of employment, always bringing the bagpipes. They became even more dirty and tattered over the years, but they still carried them as a sign of their fast friendship. One day, they were at the first man's workplace. He was a biologist. They were watching a detached frog's leg kick when a particularly clumsy grad student knocked over a stack of germ cultures, right onto the bagpipes! They managed to clean most of it off, but it left noticeable stains. The next week, the other two visited the second man, a chemist, in his lab. As they were brewing tea over a bunsen burner, another particularly clumsy grad student knocked over a rack of chemicals, right onto the bagpipes! They managed to clean them off before it ate any holes, but it left stains. A while later, the third, a radiologist, received a visit at the hospital. While he was making some adjustments on the x- ray machine, yet another particularly clumsy grad student nudged the "on" switch, spraying a highly concentrated dose of high- energy radiation right at the bagpipes! "At least we don'a have to clean 'em off this time!" flamed MacDonald. "Aye, but look a' 'em! They're movin'!" wondered MacDougal. "It's alive!" screamed MacDoan. A large amorphous beast, covered in the family tartan, with eight legs and a beak with two loud droning nostrils, got off the table and scurried out of the room. After a while spent in shock, one spoke. "'A think 'A know where 'tis! 'T'll be down by th' loch, sittin' on i's eggs!" announced MacDougal. "Eggs? Will i' na' be nursin' i's young?" asked Mac- Donald. "What're ye talkin', laddies? Wha's goin' on?" questioned MacDoan. Sure enough, that's where it was. They snuck up on it with nets, captured it, and sold it to the zoo, as the world's first and only plaid-billed octopus. Please don't flame about technical details... -Dave Aronson idis!mi-cec!dja da2p%cmcctd@cmuc (412) 682-9580