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From: TOPAZ:fantods@ucbvax.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: Re: Smoking and farting - (nf)
Message-ID: <253@ucbtopaz.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 27-Jul-83 12:24:55 EDT
Article-I.D.: ucbtopaz.253
Posted: Wed Jul 27 12:24:55 1983
Date-Received: Thu, 28-Jul-83 20:54:44 EDT
References: fortune.1306
Lines: 23

I go outside in the big wind when I smoke, to make sure nasty
carcinogens don't stink up offices, homes, restaurants (except sleazy
cafes w/expresso + angst) and maybe other places, like elevators.
I smoke outside, or in good ventilation.  I like smoking, but I like
all my little friends, too, who don't like smoking.

What do I do about the woman in the office who eats evil-smelling
vegie-sandwiches all day and then farts all the time.  Big, evil,
disgusting farts.  She's very vocal about even the tiniest whisp
of smoke ambling its way toward her in the hall...yet doesn't seem
to realize that her eggplant-avocado-sprouts mulch which is
producing e. coli heaven in her intestines is spewing METHANE (a
poisonous gas) and who knows HOW MANY other substances (all of
which MUST be bioactive, given the source, right?) RIGHT INTO MY AIR!!!

Secondary smoke is dangerous, ugly, smells bad.  If you don't want
someone to smoke near you, take their cigarette away and if they
get mad, punch them in the solar plexus and the break their nose.
This is very effective.  If they're bigger than you are, use a knife or a gun.
I'm serious, this is no joke, guys.  But if you vegetarian whiners
FART near me one more time, you're gonna get it too.

RIchard Moorman