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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!decwrl!flairvax!ellis
From: ellis@flairvax.UUCP (Michael Ellis)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: What your Date Looks Like... - (nf)
Message-ID: <191@flairvax.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 30-Jul-83 03:31:16 EDT
Article-I.D.: flairvax.191
Posted: Sat Jul 30 03:31:16 1983
Date-Received: Mon, 1-Aug-83 06:55:12 EDT
References: zehntel.1150
Lines: 35


	There is something to be said both for and against the "feigning
     "interest" approach.

	When I first became single (4 years ago), I had been living in a
     strongly circumscribed universe, as one would expect from the average
     middle class husband.

	Suddenly single and thrown out (railing against the way of the
     world, I might add), I was suddenly confronted with the diverse ways
     ways of the bizarre crowd called `singles'.

	Meeting such folk either drives one away, grumbling such quaint
     phrases as `dehumanizing, sexist, disgusting' ad nauseam, or, freshly
     perceiving all things anew, as the chance of a lifetime to meet those
     of vastly different world-view.

	My point is that remaining open-minded, even if partially against
     one's will -- that is, consciously suspending judgement -- has gotta
     be healthy even if the close-minded drip you end up awakening the
     next morning stupidly feels shame and other invalid emotions.

	If you say such flights into expansive mind-set destruction are
     'feigning interest', then I suspect you may attribute too much
     importance to your daily emotional & intellectual state.

	If you use `suspension of judgement' as a technique for cynically
     maintaining status quo in your head, subsequently reverting to the
     egotistic `I picked her up' mentality, then you deserve the self-
     destructive guilt trips that typically assault hypocritical fools.

	Plus, you miss out on all that another person found precious in
     the world.

-michael