Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!wivax!decvax!microsof!fluke!ssc-vax!uw-beaver!tektronix!tekcad!keithl From: keithl@tekcad.UUCP Newsgroups: net.movies Subject: Meaning of Life Songs - Sacrilegious Message-ID: <487@tekcad.UUCP> Date: Sun, 3-Jul-83 15:57:43 EDT Article-I.D.: tekcad.487 Posted: Sun Jul 3 15:57:43 1983 Date-Received: Thu, 7-Jul-83 02:03:24 EDT Lines: 147 Here are most of the words of three songs from the "Meaning of Life" by Monty Python. The Galaxy Song Every Sperm is Sacred Christmas in Heaven I haven't seen these on the net yet, although there was a request some months back. These are transcribed from the album. The last two songs are not obscene but are definitely sacrilegious. These songs are submitted without permission, probably in violation of innumerable laws, and a number of axioms. THE GALAXY SONG (Eric Idle + John du Prez) Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown, and things seem hard or tough, and people are stupid, obnoxious, or daft, and you feel that you've had quite enough... Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving and revolving at nine hundred miles an hour, that's orbiting at ninety miles a second, so it's reckoned, a Sun that is the source of all our power. The Sun and you and me, and all the stars that we can see, are moving at a million miles a day, in an outer spiral arm at forty thousand miles an hour of a galaxy we call the Milky Way. Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars. It's a hundred thousand light years side to side. It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light years thick, but out by us it's just three thousand light years wide. We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point. We go 'round every two hundred million years. And out galaxy is one of millions of billions in this amazing and expanding universe. The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding in all of the directions it can whiz; as fast as it can go, the speed of light you know, twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is. So remember when you're feeling very small and insecure, how amazingly unlikely is your birth. And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'cause there's bugger all down here on Earth! *** And now, for something completely tasteless *** EVERY SPERM IS SACRED (Michael Palin & Terry Jones) There are Jews in the world, there are Buddhists, there are Hindus and Mormons and then there are those that follow Mohammed -but- I've never been one of them. I am a Roman Catholic and have been since before I was born, and the one thing they say about Catholics is they'll take you as soon as you're warm. You don't have to be a six-footer. You don't have to have a great brain. You don't have to have any clothes on, you're a Catholic the moment dad came ...Because... Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. (2x) Let the heathens spill theirs, on the dusty ground. God shall make them pay for each sperm that can't be found. Every sperm is wanted, every sperm is good. Every sperm is needed, in your neighborhood. Hindu, Taoist, Mormon, spill theirs just anywhere but God loves those who treat their semen with more care. (misc choruses) Every sperm is useful, every sperm is fine. God needs everybodies, mine, and mine, and mine. Let the pagans spill theirs on mountain hill and plain. God shall strike them down for each sperm that's spilled in vain. (misc. choruses and finale) CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN (Eric Idle + ???) Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, it's truly a real honorable experience to be here this evening. A very wonderful and warm and emotional moment for all of us - and I'd like to sing a song for all of you... It's Christmas in Heaven, all the children sing. It's Christmas in Heaven, hark hark those church bells ring. It's Christmas in Heaven, the snow falls from the sky. But it's nice and warm, and everyone looks smart and wears a tie. It's Christmas in Heaven, there's great films on TV. The Sound of Music twice an hour and Jaws one, two and three. There's gifts for all the family, there's toiletries and drapes(?), there's (garbled) and (garbled) and less video games. It's Christmas, it's Christmas in Heaven! Hip-hip, hip-hip-hip hooray! Every single day, is Christmas day! It's Christmas, it's Christmas, it's Christmas in Heaven! Hip-hip, hip-hip-hip, hip-hip-hip hooray! (fades) *********** Perhaps someone else can figure out the garbled parts. If this is received well, I'll transcribe the lyrics of the restaurant scene with monsieur. Yours in Pythonery, -- Keith Lofstrom uucp: {ucbvax,decvax,chico,pur-ee,cbosg,ihnss}!teklabs!tekcad!keithl CSnet: keithl@tek ARPAnet:keithl.tek@rand-relay