Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site uwvax.ARPA Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!harpo!seismo!uwvax!reid From: reid@uwvax.ARPA (Glenn Reid) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: lying to pick up MOTOS Message-ID: <1006@uwvax.ARPA> Date: Tue, 26-Jul-83 23:08:58 EDT Article-I.D.: uwvax.1006 Posted: Tue Jul 26 23:08:58 1983 Date-Received: Wed, 27-Jul-83 21:42:29 EDT Organization: U of Wisconsin CS Dept Lines: 43 ----- News saved at Tue, 26-Jul-83 21:59:41 CDT Glenn Reid replies: Hmmmm. I have spent the last five minutes thinking hard about this issue. I was at first tempted to agree with Glenn Wichman that deception is not a good idea, but then I changed my mind again--not to advocate dishonesty, exactly, but I think the intent of my first message was a little misconstrued. Tact. That might be the crucial word. In my opinion it borders on rude if, in the first 15 minutes of knowing someone, you attempt to pin them down, by asking them out, asking for their phone number, etc. Most people have no idea what you are really like after 15 minutes, and most people are downright hesitant about agreeing to anything, special circumstances like love-at-first- sight excepted. I don't think that "feigning interest in heritage" is lying. I suppose everybody is at least a little bit interested in heritage--I am. The "lying" might be found in the fact that your motive in asking is twofold: First to find out about them, their heritage, their family name, and second to leave yourself room to track them down again later, if it seems appropriate. I think that this approach is reasonable, because you don't put any pressure on them. The problem I find is that I am too shy, or too much a "gentleman" to ask point-blank questions like "Can I call you? What is your phone number?" And time and time again someone I am attracted to (and with whom there might be some mutual attraction, I daresay) disappears, never to be seen again, because there is no way to find people like that.... Some actually go as far as to run ads in the paper: "To the blonde woman on the East Towne bus with the french poodle. I was walking on State St. with an ice cream cone and ran into a tree when I saw you. Perhaps you noticed me, and would like to call me." Not bloody likely. I still think that my method is a good one. I almost always will admit my "trickery" to the woman in question if things work out. One is forced to, really, since you usually have to explain how in the world you got their phone number. But people are usually flattered if you are willing to do a little research to track them down, rather than just let things slide.... This is getting long. I'll shut up. Glenn Reid ..seismo!uwvax!reid (reid@uwisc.ARPA)