Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site umcp-cs.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!seismo!rlgvax!cvl!umcp-cs!beth From: beth@umcp-cs.UUCP Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Input from Women Message-ID: <1179@umcp-cs.UUCP> Date: Wed, 27-Jul-83 11:46:05 EDT Article-I.D.: umcp-cs.1179 Posted: Wed Jul 27 11:46:05 1983 Date-Received: Sun, 31-Jul-83 20:02:40 EDT Organization: Univ. of Maryland, Computer Science Dept. Lines: 53 So Ray Bloom wants to know why women aren't writing to net.singles. Well, I haven't really had much to say on any topic. But I suppose I could try to comment on some topics. I can't speak for any of the other women on the net, but I personally don't go for the macho type of guy. I don't go to bars, don't care for large parties, and have never been impressed by an opening line. I would rather meet someone either in class, at work, or through a friend and get to know him casually. I want to be friends first. If we go out someplace, one or the other of us may treat, but usually we split expenses (unless the guy has this idea that it's more manly to pay for us both, which I don't think it is). This approach has worked several times, and even when the romantic relationship was over, the friendship remained. This is not to say that being friends afterwards is easy, but it is possible. No real relationship is easy. You have to work at it, but if you want things to work out, you will try to compromise and work out the rough spots. At times, no matter how hard you try, the relationship won't work. Then you must decide whether it is worth trying anymore. If it isn't, part amicably. As for what to do on "dates", I have found the following to be fine methods of spending one's time together: Play bridge. (Duplicate provides opportunities to meet others.) Picnic, even in the living room. Work the crossword puzzle. Play racquetball. Go to the cheap movies on campus. Attend experimental plays on campus. (These were free.) Visit the local sites. (Pretend you are tourists and visit all the places you've never gone to around town.) Go watch tourists tour the local sites. (Forgive the previous two entries, I went to college at the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, VA. But this should work in other locales.) Canoe or paddleboat on local small body of water. Visit the zoo. (In fall and winter, it is empty.) Join a coed volleyball team (This is a good way to meet others.) I'd also like to mention that one reason there might not be a flood of mail from women is that there probably aren't hordes of women out there on the net. And at least here, most of the women on the net are either married or involved in somewhat serious relationships. There are many males out there who are available and would like information on how to find females. Therefore, the males want to correspond on net.singles. Well, at least that is a theory. Flame to me personally if you must. Beth Katz -- UUCP: {seismo,allegra,brl-bmd}!umcp-cs!beth CSNet: beth@umcp-cs ARPA: beth.umcp-cs@UDel-Relay The University of Maryland at College Park Computer Science Department