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From: softech@micomvax.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: About platonic inertia and (gasp!) SEX...
Message-ID: <184@micomvax.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 19-Jul-83 00:09:50 EDT
Article-I.D.: micomvax.184
Posted: Tue Jul 19 00:09:50 1983
Date-Received: Tue, 19-Jul-83 19:57:50 EDT
References: <234@princeton.UUCP>
Organization: Micom, Montreal
Lines: 54


	In reference to the series of articles about how to break the
platonic inertia that seems to bother some of you campers.

	First of all, I tend to agree with windy (!princeton!mckay) that
showing interest in expressing "mutual appreciation in more graphic terms" on
the night you learn the other guy's first name is, to say the least,
precarious. Of course, if the only thing youre interested in is "graphic
expression" as Joe Weinstein puts it, why waste your time, right? Good luck
with the kind of girl you end up with, if any.

	As for Mark Johnson's problem with breaking the platonic circle,
here's the way I see it:

	1) If you are like me, I like to get to *know* a woman before even
	   considering taking her to bed, even if she has the greatest body
	   this side of Bombay. I don't consider other people as meals I can 
	   enjoy just because they may be available.

	2) Just because a woman shows interest in *me* doesn't mean I will be 
	   willing to respond physically even if she *is* pretty and sexy
	   and all that.

	3) Going from a platonic to a physical relationship *always* came very
	   naturally, simply because the intimacy and closeness that developed
	   in those (priviledged) relationships allowed one of us to just come
	   up and say "I'd like to stay over", or "I'm pretty good at fixing
	   breakfast", or more often, to just look at each other with that
	   look that says it all.

	4) If you have difficulty being comfortable with the expression of
	   your desires, you must find out for yourself what it is you feel
	   women will not like. This can vary from one individual to the next,
	   but usually centers around fears of rejection and feelings of
	   inappropriateness. Like Joe Weinstein says, try to become
	   comfortable with the power of your libido, and the idea that others
	   will always understand it (but not always accept the implications).

	5) The attitude of "Ill make friends, then it will be easier to date"
	   is all wrong. If *from the start* you feel there is something
	   special, don't sit on your feelings (pardon the pun). Walk up to
	   (him/her) and say: "I don't know about you, but I feel pretty
	   attracted to you and I would like to take you to [dinner, dance]
	   and get to know you better, but I'm a little shy and not very
	   good at asking for dates..." If you feel really physically
	   attracted but embarassed to say so, tell her ! "Gee, I don't know
	   how to tell you this, but I'm really shy and Im having a hard time
	   finding words to tell you how good you make me feel inside, and
	   how pretty and sexy you look." Be imaginative, but always genuine.


Richard Blouin

...!philabs!micomvax!micomz!softech