Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site micomvax.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!micomvax!softech From: softech@micomvax.UUCP Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: About platonic inertia and (gasp!) SEX... Message-ID: <184@micomvax.UUCP> Date: Tue, 19-Jul-83 00:09:50 EDT Article-I.D.: micomvax.184 Posted: Tue Jul 19 00:09:50 1983 Date-Received: Tue, 19-Jul-83 19:57:50 EDT References: <234@princeton.UUCP> Organization: Micom, Montreal Lines: 54 In reference to the series of articles about how to break the platonic inertia that seems to bother some of you campers. First of all, I tend to agree with windy (!princeton!mckay) that showing interest in expressing "mutual appreciation in more graphic terms" on the night you learn the other guy's first name is, to say the least, precarious. Of course, if the only thing youre interested in is "graphic expression" as Joe Weinstein puts it, why waste your time, right? Good luck with the kind of girl you end up with, if any. As for Mark Johnson's problem with breaking the platonic circle, here's the way I see it: 1) If you are like me, I like to get to *know* a woman before even considering taking her to bed, even if she has the greatest body this side of Bombay. I don't consider other people as meals I can enjoy just because they may be available. 2) Just because a woman shows interest in *me* doesn't mean I will be willing to respond physically even if she *is* pretty and sexy and all that. 3) Going from a platonic to a physical relationship *always* came very naturally, simply because the intimacy and closeness that developed in those (priviledged) relationships allowed one of us to just come up and say "I'd like to stay over", or "I'm pretty good at fixing breakfast", or more often, to just look at each other with that look that says it all. 4) If you have difficulty being comfortable with the expression of your desires, you must find out for yourself what it is you feel women will not like. This can vary from one individual to the next, but usually centers around fears of rejection and feelings of inappropriateness. Like Joe Weinstein says, try to become comfortable with the power of your libido, and the idea that others will always understand it (but not always accept the implications). 5) The attitude of "Ill make friends, then it will be easier to date" is all wrong. If *from the start* you feel there is something special, don't sit on your feelings (pardon the pun). Walk up to (him/her) and say: "I don't know about you, but I feel pretty attracted to you and I would like to take you to [dinner, dance] and get to know you better, but I'm a little shy and not very good at asking for dates..." If you feel really physically attracted but embarassed to say so, tell her ! "Gee, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm really shy and Im having a hard time finding words to tell you how good you make me feel inside, and how pretty and sexy you look." Be imaginative, but always genuine. Richard Blouin ...!philabs!micomvax!micomz!softech