Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site rochester.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!seismo!rochester!steve From: steve@rochester.UUCP (Steve Hammond) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Who calls first??? Message-ID: <2471@rochester.UUCP> Date: Wed, 3-Aug-83 15:07:07 EDT Article-I.D.: rocheste.2471 Posted: Wed Aug 3 15:07:07 1983 Date-Received: Thu, 4-Aug-83 23:54:37 EDT Sender: steve@rocheste.UUCP Organization: U. of Rochester, CS Dept. Lines: 32 From: Steve HammondHere are a few comments on Gene Spafford's letter: Academic environments are very well suited to repeat encounters. It is relatively easy to look up Jane/John Doe in the campus directory to get a phone number or address. We(I'm a grad student at the University of Rochester) are lucky to be in such a situation. One can almost always count on seeing a certian MOTOS at a frat party or in the campus bar on a Friday or Saturday night. Relying on the other person to call you first is something new to me. If I'm interested in someone I(not being timid in the least) couldn't stand the wait to see if "Jane Doe" wanted to meet again sometime. It is very natural for me to say as we are parting from an initial meeting,"I enjoyed talking with you, can we get together again" or "How can I get a hold of you; I had a good time and would like to see you again". This is a clear indication to her that I am interested. If she says, "Oh, we'll see each other around", I usually assume that she wants it kept casual. If she gives you her phone number and says when it's a convenient time to call then she also enjoyed herself and is interested in getting to know you better. In general I don't think that it is a good idea to mail your phone number to someone that you are interested. I have found few women interested in making the initial phone call. It seems that society has conditioned them into thinking that it isn't their place to do it; men are the aggressors. But again, an academic environment is special in that women may be more liberated and agressive. If they are willing to call first, all the more power to them for shedding their "programmed roles". Steve Hammond