Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!harpo!utah-cs!beesvax!dennis
From: dennis@beesvax.UUCP (Dennis McCurdy)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Heaven can wait
Message-ID: <128@beesvax.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 21-Jul-83 11:38:03 EDT
Article-I.D.: beesvax.128
Posted: Thu Jul 21 11:38:03 1983
Date-Received: Fri, 22-Jul-83 03:35:37 EDT
Lines: 51


Then there was the one about these two friends. One
was named Sam Franks and the other was John Bills.
During their lives here on earth they were pretty
good friends. John Bills was a fairly religious person
and generally tried to do good. Sam Franks, on the other
hand, was rather unscrupulous in his affairs with
others and was generally known for being a cheat and
liar which made him a very successful businessman. Well,
they both died within a short time of each other, Sam
Franks having gone first. When John Bills went, he asked
St. Peter if he knew where Sam Franks was because he wasn't
there to greet him upon his arrival. "I'm sorry, Brother
Bills", said St. Peter, "but your friend is not here. He is 
instead living in a slightly warmer climate down below."
"Oh, no!", lamemted John Bills, "Sam Franks is a good buddy
of mine! I was hoping to have a good time, but now all
I can do is play this stupid harp." St. Peter then explained
that all was not lost because there was a new departmental
policy that allows residents of higher up to visit friends
in lower places during designated visiting hours. The reverse
was not true, however, lower people could never visit higher
places. "We have an image to maintain", declared St. Peter.
He then explained that there was a bus for the Just bound
for below the crust leaving in two minutes. So John Bills
hastily ran to the bus. "There's just one thing", yelled
St. Peter, "the Pearly Gate closes promptly at ten o'clock.
If you are late you will be stuck out here until morning. We
have had a lot of weirdos in this part of the galaxy lately."
When John Bills arrived in hell he found it pretty much the
way they said it would be on earth. Hot. He found a local
native and asked it if it knew who Sam Franks was and where
he lived. "Oh, yeah", it said, "he's the guy who started that
new business around here. He calls it a Disco and its just
around the corner, first alley to the left." John found the
place with no trouble, went in, and immediately found Sam Franks.
They had a great time! Dancing, women, everything he wasn't
allowed to do on earth was freely accomplished. "This is a great
place to visit, Sam", a contented John Bills said as he looked at
his watch. It said 9:55. "Ohmigosh!", he said, "I got 5 minutes
to get back to heaven!" He ran out of the Disco and down to the
bus stop. He found that he had just missed the Just bus and so
he had to run and flap his wings as fast as he could. He got to
heaven as the clock stuck ten and fell through the Pearly Gate 
just as it closed. "You seem to have forgotten something", noticed
St. Peter. John thought for a minute and then he realized what it
was and exclaimed "Oh, no! . . . . .
                 
                 I left my harp . . . in Sam Franks Disco."

(no flames please)