Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!harpo!utah-cs!beesvax!dennis From: dennis@beesvax.UUCP (Dennis McCurdy) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Heaven can wait Message-ID: <128@beesvax.UUCP> Date: Thu, 21-Jul-83 11:38:03 EDT Article-I.D.: beesvax.128 Posted: Thu Jul 21 11:38:03 1983 Date-Received: Fri, 22-Jul-83 03:35:37 EDT Lines: 51 Then there was the one about these two friends. One was named Sam Franks and the other was John Bills. During their lives here on earth they were pretty good friends. John Bills was a fairly religious person and generally tried to do good. Sam Franks, on the other hand, was rather unscrupulous in his affairs with others and was generally known for being a cheat and liar which made him a very successful businessman. Well, they both died within a short time of each other, Sam Franks having gone first. When John Bills went, he asked St. Peter if he knew where Sam Franks was because he wasn't there to greet him upon his arrival. "I'm sorry, Brother Bills", said St. Peter, "but your friend is not here. He is instead living in a slightly warmer climate down below." "Oh, no!", lamemted John Bills, "Sam Franks is a good buddy of mine! I was hoping to have a good time, but now all I can do is play this stupid harp." St. Peter then explained that all was not lost because there was a new departmental policy that allows residents of higher up to visit friends in lower places during designated visiting hours. The reverse was not true, however, lower people could never visit higher places. "We have an image to maintain", declared St. Peter. He then explained that there was a bus for the Just bound for below the crust leaving in two minutes. So John Bills hastily ran to the bus. "There's just one thing", yelled St. Peter, "the Pearly Gate closes promptly at ten o'clock. If you are late you will be stuck out here until morning. We have had a lot of weirdos in this part of the galaxy lately." When John Bills arrived in hell he found it pretty much the way they said it would be on earth. Hot. He found a local native and asked it if it knew who Sam Franks was and where he lived. "Oh, yeah", it said, "he's the guy who started that new business around here. He calls it a Disco and its just around the corner, first alley to the left." John found the place with no trouble, went in, and immediately found Sam Franks. They had a great time! Dancing, women, everything he wasn't allowed to do on earth was freely accomplished. "This is a great place to visit, Sam", a contented John Bills said as he looked at his watch. It said 9:55. "Ohmigosh!", he said, "I got 5 minutes to get back to heaven!" He ran out of the Disco and down to the bus stop. He found that he had just missed the Just bus and so he had to run and flap his wings as fast as he could. He got to heaven as the clock stuck ten and fell through the Pearly Gate just as it closed. "You seem to have forgotten something", noticed St. Peter. John thought for a minute and then he realized what it was and exclaimed "Oh, no! . . . . . I left my harp . . . in Sam Franks Disco." (no flames please)