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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!harpo!seismo!rlgvax!keith
From: keith@rlgvax.UUCP (keith)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: You know it's gonna be a bad day...
Message-ID: <942@rlgvax.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 1-Aug-83 22:34:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: rlgvax.942
Posted: Mon Aug  1 22:34:00 1983
Date-Received: Tue, 2-Aug-83 12:02:16 EDT
Organization: CCI Office Systems Group, Reston, VA
Lines: 33

It's gonna be a bad day when...
1)	You wake up face down on the pavement.
2)	Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.
3)	You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes
		out of the city.
4)	Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
5)	You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then
		realize that you don't have a waterbed.

1)	You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back
		of your pantyhose.
2)	Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
3)	Your income tax check bounces.
4)	You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
5)	Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name is George.

1)	Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck
		as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
2)	You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and
		there aren't any.
3)	Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
4)	The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
5)	You wake up and your braces are locked together.

1)	Your son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her
		own business.
2)	You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
3)	You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
4)	You see a `60 minutes' news team waiting in your office.
5)	Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

		Keith
		...![ allegra, seismo, mcnc, we13 ]!rlgvax!keith