Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site rochester.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!seismo!rochester!steve
From: steve@rochester.UUCP (Steve Hammond)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Who calls first???
Message-ID: <2471@rochester.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 3-Aug-83 15:07:07 EDT
Article-I.D.: rocheste.2471
Posted: Wed Aug  3 15:07:07 1983
Date-Received: Thu, 4-Aug-83 23:54:37 EDT
Sender: steve@rocheste.UUCP
Organization: U. of Rochester, CS Dept.
Lines: 32

From: Steve Hammond  
Here are a few comments on Gene Spafford's letter:

Academic environments are very well suited to repeat encounters.  It is
relatively easy to look up Jane/John Doe in the campus directory to get
a phone number or address.  We(I'm a grad student at the University of
Rochester) are lucky to be in such a situation.  One can almost always
count on seeing a certian MOTOS at a frat party or in the campus bar on
a Friday or Saturday night.

Relying on the other person to call you first is something new to me.  If
I'm interested in someone I(not being timid in the least) couldn't stand
the wait to see if "Jane Doe" wanted to meet again sometime.  It is very
natural for me to say as we are parting from an initial meeting,"I enjoyed
talking with you, can we get together again" or "How can I get a hold of
you; I had a good time and would like to see you again".   This is a clear
indication to her that I am interested.  If she says, "Oh, we'll see
each other around", I usually assume that she wants it kept casual.  If she
gives you her phone number and says when it's a convenient time to call then
she also enjoyed herself and is interested in getting to know you better.

In general I don't think that it is a good idea to mail your phone
number to someone that you are interested.  I have found few women interested
in making the initial phone call.  It seems that society has conditioned them
into thinking that it isn't their place to do it; men are the aggressors.
But again, an academic environment is special in that women may be more
liberated and agressive.  If they are willing to call first, all the more
power to them for shedding their "programmed roles".


						Steve Hammond