Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1a 7/7/83; site rlgvax.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!harpo!floyd!cmcl2!philabs!seismo!rlgvax!keith From: keith@rlgvax.UUCP Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: being shy Message-ID: <865@rlgvax.UUCP> Date: Fri, 22-Jul-83 10:45:24 EDT Article-I.D.: rlgvax.865 Posted: Fri Jul 22 10:45:24 1983 Date-Received: Tue, 26-Jul-83 20:13:14 EDT Organization: CCI Office Systems Group, Reston, VA Lines: 43 22 July 83 RE: You know, I'm getting tired of seeing advice that suggests that you should just walk up to someone you are attracted to and say "Hi, I'm rather shy but I thought that we might have something in common...."Well, you know, I'm getting tired of people that b&m about how being shy is so terrible, and how they just *don't* know what to do about it. I spent a large portion of my life being **very** shy. So don't tell me I don't know whereof I speak. Of course that's the advice that's given. Being shy isn't like having VD. There's no pill that just makes it go away. To become less shy, you are going to have to work at it... and that means deliberately placing yourself in situations that make you feel shy and learning to deal with them. I have a close friend who is a feminist. However, she has a real problem making a decision for herself if men are around. I'm only a friend and she'll defer to me on *everything*. It is almost impossible to get her to say what she really thinks. AND, if you point this out to her, she replies that she was brought up this way and that she can't change. (Extremely offensive/rude/uncouth exclamation deleted.) She may have been brought up that way, but if you want to change *badly* enough, you will. If you want most *anything* badly enough, you'll get it. An ability to deal with people fits into this category. I personally hate to be jerked around... especially if it's by myself. Sure, there are things in my life that I probably can't change. Being shy isn't one of them. Keith ...![ allegra, seismo, mcnc ]!rlgvax!keith p.s. Also, if being shy *is* one of them, complaining about it isn't...