From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!floyd!vax135!ariel!houti!hogpc!houxt!houxn!dossamg Newsgroups: net.games Title: Star Fleet Battles Article-I.D.: houxn.344 Posted: Tue Mar 15 15:25:58 1983 Received: Tue Mar 22 21:45:27 1983 HHHHOOOOLLLLMMMMDDDDEEEELLLL WWWWAAAARRRRGGGGAAAAMMMMEEEERRRRSSSS NNNNEEEEWWWWSSSSLLLLEEEETTTTTTTTEEEERRRR Fall 1982 by Alan M. Gopin and Bill Neumann BBBBOOOOYYYY,,,, WWWWEEEE''''RRRREEEE RRRREEEEAAAALLLLLLLLYYYY LLLLAAAATTTTEEEE TTTTHHHHIIIISSSS TTTTIIIIMMMMEEEE............ This is the fall 82 newsletter of the Holmdel Wargamers. But it's already March you say? Tough, the typist broke his finger, and this is the earliest it could get done. Think of the short wait you'll have for the spring newsletter. BBBBEEEEAAAAMMMM MMMMEEEE UUUUPPPP,,,, SSSSCCCCOOOOTTTTTTTTYYYY.... In the first skirmish of the Klingo-Kzinti war (of our new Star Fleet Battles campaign) the Kzintis, played by Alan Gopin and Chris Sampoli, learned some expensive lessons in tactics. The Klingons fielded 3 D7 class battlecruisers and a CV(T) carrier Tug, all managed by Bill Neumann (a.k.a. Ardak Kumerian). Alan had the CV Gladius and Chris the Strike Cruisers Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Battle was joined in earnest as Bill turned on Chris' 2 Strike Cruisers, giving the Tweedle Dee a very bloody nose. This caused an immediate tactical withdrawal by Chris, which left Alan holding the sack. Turning his attentions to Alan, Bill used that old Klingon magic and charged the Gladius and its fighter swarm. The D7 Distraught was heavily damaged by drones, but Bill pressed onward, undaunted, until he had closed to point blank range. Sub space was alive with Kzinti calls for cruiser support. Chris responded sluggishly with one crusier. Alan's fighters were busy finishing off the Distraught. It was too late. The first Klingon volley caused over 90 internal hits to the Gladius. The second volley was overkill. The klingons took some damage as they dodged the expanding sphere of debris from the CV. Meanwhile, as the fighters made their run at the Distraught, her captain, Lance Jibip, was heard making his last sub space contact: "Ship finished. Must self-destruct. Wish me luck. Here goes noth....." This message was terminated by a blinding flash from the Distraught. He never got the chance to self-destruct. However, the Kzintis lost 2 fighters and had 9 crippled in the fireball that used to be the Distraught. As Commodore Ardak Kumerian turned his attention to the finally attacking CS, it was a case of Deja Vu. Without the massive drone power of the carrier to distract the klingons, the CS was blown to within an inch of destruction. Chris ordered the remaining cruiser to disengage as the Klingons pulled back to a safe distance to finish off the crippled crusier. Final Tally: Kzinti losses: 1 CV destroyed with all fighters, 1 CS destroyed, 1 CS with moderate internal damage. Klingon Losses: 1 D7 destroyed. No other internal damage. All fighters and shuttles lost. OOOOHHHH YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHH???? As the Klingon-Kzinti war erupted in full swing, Grand Admiral Alan Gopin sent a massive punitive force against Kumerian's squadron. Kumerian had been reinforced by 2 G-1 pseudofighters and a replacement for the D7 'Distraught.' The Kiznits however had come loaded for bear with 2 strike cruisers (one towing a needle pseudofighter), a frigate, and the "biggest Mutha you ever did see' - the SCS Hegemony, complete with a full strike group of 6 pseudofighters and 12 fighters. The Hegemony is the Kizntis version of a one man band. Out gunned by over 50% Kumerian still accepted battle (cocky SOB ain't he?). In a wild series of ups and downs, no one really won this scrape, but it was one hell of a battle! First, Alan got one up by crippling the 2 G-1s as they suicidally charged the Kzintis. Then Alan got two up by hitting the D7 'Didjahaftu' with a drone swarm, forcing it to pull out of the battle line. Bill got even as the 2 strike cruisers and the frigate hit a nuclear space mine planted in their path by the "suicidal" G-1s. Score at the half? EVEN. As the Needles, supported by 12 fighters, charged in, they set off the second NSM, wiping out 6 Needles and all 12 fighters. This explosion also destroyed 5 Klingon Z-2 fighters, and damaged various nearby shuttles and drones. By this time, the second D7 had been hit by a drone swarm. The 'Dildonia' was almost destroyed and was left without any remaining power sources. This was in spite of Kumerian's decision to do everything possible to save it from the drones. Not that old Ardak is a softie, its just that an exploding D7 in the midst of a close formation is unpleasant (as was soon to be made apparant). One strike cruiser and the frigate had pulled out by now, leaving the undamaged SCS and one CS to charge the remaining Klingons, who at this point consisted of one D7 in good shape, one CV(T) in mint condition, one D7 in fair condition but somewhat out of position, and the 'Dildonia' which was definitely no longer at Blue Book value. In very rapid sequence, the following happened (as transcribed from subspace radio and the remaining recorder markers): D7 'Destruction': "Holy $%&*, that thing is coming at us!...All batteries fire...Damage Control??...YOU'RE KIDDING...Crom's Devils... the CS is firing too...Damage Control??...Hello...HELLO...%&$#*...Security stations, Mutiny in Engineering hull...Hello Commodore Kumerian, this is the Snealina Liberation Army. The ship is ours. Die, imperialist bone-faced dogs...Kumerian to Squadron...Drop all NSMs. We're not going home. They won't either.... D7 'Dildonia': Prepare for destruction...Drop Mines... CV(T) 'Krebbs': Warp out of here... All weapons on the SCS...NOW... SCS 'Hegemony': Victory is ours....$%&*....Damage Control...Good...*&%$...Damage Control.... OK...10 drones point blank...can't avoid...$%*&...Damage Control....&$#*.... CS #1: What are WE doing here? D7 Didjahaftu: Bring her around...Fire... All Ships, More Or Less Simulaneously: ...they're/we're (pick one) gonna blow!! CS #1: BOOM. D7 Dildonia: BOOM. D7 Destruction: BOOM. 4 NSMs: BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. SCS Hegemony: A Mine dead ahead...another...another...BOOOMMM. CV(T) Krebbs: $%*#/....*$#&%...$*%&%....*$&%*....We got her!...Damage Control.. Amazing...Let's go. D7 Didjahaftu: Ditto. CV(T) Krebbs: We made it....DRONES!...Hard aport...&$#*%...Damage Control... Make do. D7Didjahaftu: We did it. We won?!?!?? More or less. Final score: Klingons 972 (including 351 for attacking outnumbered) Kzinti 496. A Klingon victory (redefining the term Phyrric). AAAANNNNDDDD OOOONNNN TTTTHHHHEEEE OOOOTTTTHHHHEEEERRRR FFFFRRRROOOONNNNTTTT............ The following is a transcription of Klingon intercepted Hydran sub space radio transmissions: Chris Sampoli is the Hydran Commander, Scott Kennedy commands the Klingon Hydran frontier squadrons. Admirals Log: Hydran Date 3170.4 Report on battle of XX Quadrant Orders from His Royal Highness Hydraxan XI were for the Royal Hydran Navy 1st Fleet to proceed into Klingon space and probe in force to determine Klingon strength along the frontier. THE RHN 1st Fleet included the DN Hydraxan VII, DDs Helios and Hera, Scout Mercury, and 4 Harrier pseudofighters. We proceeded at Warp 4 across the border with all scanners and sensors at max. Sub space communications were silent. Within five parsecs, the scout scanners picked up 3 Klingon D7 cruisers, and 6 smaller craft, most likely G-1s escorting the D7s. At this moment, my communications officer reported a sub space transmission from the Klingon Commander. "You have entered Klingon Space! Surrender or you will be destroyed!" Before I could respond to this message, my communications officer sent the Klingons the following reply: "You fuzz faced mother rapers sleep with Lyrans!" This brought the morale up a bit. I ordered my fighers to scramble, along with the IX Harrier squadron under command of Lt. Krashnburn. His orders were to intercept the Klingon pseudofighters. We received the following message over sub space radio from him: "This is Lt. Krashnburn. We have engaged the enemy. We are now receiving incoming fire." On the Hydraxan VII, the monitors could not pick up the engagement because of the extreme range. Then six large explosions lit up the screens. They appeared to come from Lt. Krashnburn's quadrant. The scanners couldn't pick up our squadron. We then intercepted a garbled sub space message from the Klingons: "#$%...Break of@----...All Ships Repeat...?!/#$...Dis..gage" At this point, the Klingon Fleet was reported to be fleeing. All but 2 of the ships in Lt. Krashnburn's melee were taking off for deep space. Unfortunately, none of the IX Harrier squadron returned to report. I ordered our transporters to lock on th one of the Harrier's jettisoned recorder markers. The contents read as follows: Captains Log Supplemental: I have reported back to Admiral D. Lerious tha the enemy has been engaged by the Princes three eyes. The Klingons have destroyed Harrier #3 with their first volley. The explosion has caused a chain reaction. Damage was....#$%?...Been...Taken...#$%?...Hssss...Most of crew...Dead... Am Las.... Epilog: As Fleet Admiral, I have recommended that Lt. Krashnburn be awarded the Royal Hydran Cluster. This action was a tactical victory for the Royal Hydran Navy. (And an object lesson in not flying in close formation when using Exp 2 self destruction rules. --- Ed.)