From: utzoo!decvax!wivax!dyer
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: Re: Telepathy II
Article-I.D.: wivax.6664
Posted: Mon Feb 14 02:12:32 1983
Received: Wed Feb 16 03:31:42 1983
References: mitccc.304

I don't want to sound pessimistic, and all the others' comments on
"telepathy" were very good (i.e. ask your partner if it's appropriate)

BUT

Often, acting bored, being busy, not returning phone calls, etc. is a real
signal that the other person just isn't interested.  My own experience is
that if I get a whiff of this behavior, and I'm not close enough to just
come out and ask, I cool down.  If I'm wrong, I'll hear from them again.
If not, well, just as well--no use beating a dead horse.

The key is knowing when to call it.  Generally, a combination of consistent
disinterest (in any of its myriad forms) without any explicit evidence to
the contrary, tells you its time to give it up.  I mean, it's one thing if
she's real busy, but whenever you talk you sense some spark of interest
and enjoyment.  But it's quite another if she's busy and she's never given
you more than her refusals.  I think that often the problem isn't so much
lacking "telepathy", as being unwilling to trust one's own innate appraisal
of the situation when it disagrees with what we'd like to have.

/Steve Dyer