From: utzoo!watmath!watarts!geo
Newsgroups: net.women
Title: Re: a compliment (?)
Article-I.D.: watarts.1713
Posted: Thu Feb 24 05:30:56 1983
Received: Thu Feb 24 09:27:08 1983
Reply-To: geo@watarts (Geo Swan)
References: burdvax.567

Women who hear "compliments" like, "you think just like a man",
have my full sympathy.  I think I can really identify with you.
It reminds me of discussions I have had with feminists around here.

The feminists will be sitting around, saying "Patriarchy this,
Patriarchy that, Patriarchy the other thing".  I feel very 
uncomfortable with this kind of talk, and sometimes I will
say something.  Generally, in the most tactful way I know how,
I say, "well, you know, \I'm/ a man."  To which my friends respond
by putting their hand on my arm, or something like that, and saying
"Oh no Geo, when we talk about \men/, we don't mean \you/!
I mean, we've heard what you say.  You're a Feminist!"

I hate hearing this.  While I am all in favour of the mundane
tenets of Feminism, there are a number of aspects to it
that I just can't swallow.  I feel really co-opted when my
friends say this to me.  I get the feeling that what 
they are really telling me is, "Oh no Geo, when we talk about
\men/ (those brute beasts), we don't mean you.  I mean you do
all the right things.  You never get angry  with us.  You never
interrupt us.  You say the right things.  Why you are a 
(provisional, probationary, second class) Feminist, and we
will continue to consider you a Feminist, rather than a brute
beast, so long as you continue to toe the line."

So I think I can understand how women might feel infuriated
by being told that they thought like men, or something like that.

I guess I have raised the issue of what it means to be a man
who is sensitive to the tenets of Feminism.  It is a really
tough question, and I am interested in hearing what other
people on the net think about it.  However, I don't think
that discussion belongs here.  Whem mts@houxo started
this group, she planned for it to provide a forum to support
women.  It would be discourteous to clutter her group with
material of no interest to the originators of the group.
So, if you wish to respond, post to me, or to net.misc.
I will be prepared to summarize.  I am prepared to count
votes for the formation of a group to discuss issues like
this (net.sex-roles(?)).

	Cordially,
	decvax!watmath!watarts!geo	Geo Swan
	Integrated Studies
	University of Waterloo