From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!npoiv!npois!houxm!houxa!houxi!houxz!ihnp4!ixn5c!inuxc!pur-ee!CSvax:cak
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: Re: More relationships ending hard
Article-I.D.: purdue.506
Posted: Fri Mar 11 10:22:30 1983
Received: Sat Mar 12 08:52:05 1983
References: unc.4747

Wm, I agree that the business of setting a date to settle down or break
up is ludicrous. I would like to say that I am still friends with all
the women I've broken up with, but I can't; and it's not that I'm not
willing.  That hurts a lot, because I feel there was something there
that caused us to get involved, something that could persist in a good
friendship.

I am currently involved in helping a (male) friend get over a breakup.
He finally saw the girl for the first time since she told him (over two
months), and was incredibly apprehensive for the week before. "What if
I feel something? What if she feels something? What, then, was all this
pain for?" He couldn't understand why she wanted to get together to
talk things over, and why he was agreeing.

It seemed clear to me that if you have a "good" relationship that goes
sour for some reason, there's still a lot of good. If the relationship
survived for any period of time, there must have been a lot of
commonality between the two partners; there certainly would have been a
lot of sharing and good times. Those are excellent things upon which to
base a friendship, no? Then why is it usually so hard?

In a pensive mood,
chris