From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!floyd!vax135!ariel!hou5f!hou5d!houxz!houxi!houxa!houxb!houxq!houxo!mts
Newsgroups: net.women
Title: re: Working(Selfish) Mothers
Article-I.D.: houxo.148
Posted: Mon Jan 31 14:51:55 1983
Received: Tue Feb  1 10:15:43 1983


At the cost of brevity, my initial response (to the young woman
deciding whether to have children) seems to have been grossly
misunderstood.  I am working 40 hours a week for economic and
personal reasons.  I am exceptionally lucky in having the best
babysitter that a woman would want for her children -- my mother.
(But let's not knock the other warm, loving women out there
who are very capable of this task.)
But, I must say, I really love my two little girls.  My husband
and I spend more time with our children on weekends and in the
evenings than with anything or anyone else.(that's why my
house rarely gets cleaned).

My one most important point was directed to the young woman's
anxiety about burnout, where I feel it's so important to take
care of your personal needs to avoid burnout. I was exaggerating
about being just 'fed and healthy', because I'm the first
one to do arts & crafts, play educ. games, visit museums, etc.
with my older daughter.

It's not easy being a working mother.  I can sympathize with those
unfortunate women who don't have supportive husbands  and mothers
to assist in their needs.  But it is definitely the most difficult
task you can tackle -- being a mother and a career-person.

I make 2.5 times the amount my husband makes -- that's the major
reason I work. If I didn't work, I probably wouldn't
be able to have and raise the two darling children we have.

One final point, if you can bear with me.  Last week, my older
daughter was in the hospital for 5 days. If I'm such a 'selfish'
mother, how come I stayed there with her the entire time, 24 hours a
day, since this was the first time she'd been in a hospital, and
it was a frightening experience for her.  I don't likeit
when some people make rash comments and label certain women
as being selfish for whatever reason.  I respect women for
whatever they decide to do with their lives-- be it only wife, only
mother, both mother and career-person, or whatever.
Every woman has a legitimate reason for being and doing with her
life as she chooses. And I will openly support that right and 
privilege. 

P.S. thanks Yigal, etal.

mt sarantakos (MTS)
!houxo!mts