From: utzoo!utcsrgv!bobr
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: Love, Warmth & Sex vs. Control ??
Article-I.D.: utcsrgv.919
Posted: Sun Jan 23 21:51:50 1983
Received: Sun Jan 23 22:26:08 1983

	I don't think Greg is right when he says that he has absolute
control over his life now that he is single. Quite the contrary, I think 
that we (humans) depend on a ** lot** of things we do not have control
over. For example, having been part of a community of people who I can
discuss and go for a beer with was very necessary for me to complete
my degree.  I'm not saying that I needed shop-talk; I am talking about 
social interaction which we all need. 

	Seemingly paradoxically, many people also need solitude, need to 
be "alone with themselves" at times. But then, if you can work out this 
seeming contradiction in the area of your friendships (i.e. interact well 
with friends, and yes, sometimes go a little out of your way for them but 
still not ** rely ** on them) then it should be possible carry this over to 
intimate relationships. It may be harder in the latter case, though.

	Looked at it this way, the need for love (and warmth and sex)
is just one, albeit "extreme" (??),  of all these human needs which are 
in some way or other "fulfilled" by other human beings.

	Why not see that special girl or woman as just another person who
happens to be your lover ?



			Vell, I am also trying to convince myself,
			Ze Red Baron, University of Toronto