From: utzoo!decvax!microsof!fluke!vax2:sysate Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: Seattle Jokes Part 1 Article-I.D.: vax2.453 Posted: Tue Feb 15 08:53:42 1983 Received: Sun Feb 20 12:45:19 1983 The following is the first of a series of topical Seattle jokes. They are shamelessly plagiarized from "the Weekly" issue dated Feb. 9, 1983. Seattle fans enjoy. GREAT BIG MOMENTS IN SEATTLE HISTORY March 29, 1869 The women of Seattle take a vote and decide they don't want the right to vote. The vote is unanimous. June 1876 The city raises $2,100 and buys its first fire engine, the "Always Ready". The Fire Department buys four dozen hats and belts. A fire breaks out on First Avenue South. The firemen race to the fire with their hats and belts - and forget the fire engine back in the garage. August 1895 Mark Twain comes to town. Later, he cracks: "One of the nicest winters I ever spent was a summer I had on Puget Sound." Summer 1935 The Ferry System unveils its pride and joy: the Kalakala, which means "bird" (or more precisely "goose") in Chinook. On a sunny day, you could see it from outer space: a shiny steel slug oozing a trail across Elliot Bay. Though it rattles like a pailful of rivets, there is not one rivet or bolt in its 276-foot solid-weld body. Thanks to its solid-state chassis, "you could die of asphyxiation in there in ten seconds," says one observer. Later, the Kalakala gets turned into an Alaska fish plant; in 1983 it's sold for scrapola. An admirer sadly recalls: "It always looked like it could've flown, but those wings on the side were much too small. It looked like a sick little bee stuck out there on the water." Spring 1981 Senate Democratic staffer Blair Butterworth, discussing turncoat Democratic legislator Peter von Riechbauer, notes that "when they circumsized him, they threw away the wrong part." Craig Smith