From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!npoiv!npois!houxm!houxa!houxi!houxz!ihnp4!ixn5c!inuxc!pur-ee!CSvax:cak Newsgroups: net.singles Title: Re: More relationships ending hard Article-I.D.: purdue.506 Posted: Fri Mar 11 10:22:30 1983 Received: Sat Mar 12 08:52:05 1983 References: unc.4747 Wm, I agree that the business of setting a date to settle down or break up is ludicrous. I would like to say that I am still friends with all the women I've broken up with, but I can't; and it's not that I'm not willing. That hurts a lot, because I feel there was something there that caused us to get involved, something that could persist in a good friendship. I am currently involved in helping a (male) friend get over a breakup. He finally saw the girl for the first time since she told him (over two months), and was incredibly apprehensive for the week before. "What if I feel something? What if she feels something? What, then, was all this pain for?" He couldn't understand why she wanted to get together to talk things over, and why he was agreeing. It seemed clear to me that if you have a "good" relationship that goes sour for some reason, there's still a lot of good. If the relationship survived for any period of time, there must have been a lot of commonality between the two partners; there certainly would have been a lot of sharing and good times. Those are excellent things upon which to base a friendship, no? Then why is it usually so hard? In a pensive mood, chris