From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!seismo!hao!cires!harkins Newsgroups: net.women Title: compliment Article-I.D.: cires.1994 Posted: Wed Feb 23 11:38:07 1983 Received: Thu Feb 24 02:05:33 1983 many times that sort of "left handed" compliment is taken as badly as possible by the female in question; i think that the problem is much akin to the difference between oriental and occidental "reality," ie, a function of our right or left "brainedness" (sorry for that kludge); given that, it is entirely expectable to find that men view most women as unable to function well with regard to what men call logic, machines, etc.; women, on the other hand, find men insensitive,etc. for the same inherent reason; we both have to realize that there really is a fundamental difference in the worldview of men and women, and try to be sensitive to that from either side of the gender gap; given all that, if i were in barb's position, i would interpret the "compliment" as something like, "you're ok, since you can relate to things much like a man would; therefore, i don't have to constantly keep in mind that you're not one." my brother came up with a cute aphorism to this general effect: "it's not that women don't have a full deck, it's just that it's a different one." ernie harkins