From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!floyd!vax135!cornell!ddw Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: Swifties Article-I.D.: cornell.4013 Posted: Sat Feb 19 21:43:14 1983 Received: Sun Feb 20 11:42:08 1983 Things have been getting rather dull on net.jokes lately, and there has also been a dearth of truly awful humor. Well, your luck has run out. Herewith, a category of puns that has not been seen on net.jokes, or at least not for some time: Swifties! (For those who are wondering, these things were supposedly so name because they appeared in the original Tom Swift books. Not having read those books, I can't say for sure if this is true.) "Let's play golf," he said coarsely. "Take him down into the dungeon," he said condescendingly. "You should clean these mirrors," he said reflectively. "Get to the back of the boat," he said sternly. "Who turned out the lights?" he asked darkly. "Put down that knife!" he said sharply. "Your hair is a mess," he snarled. "I'm a plumber," he piped. "Give me those rubber bands!" he snapped. Well, you get the idea. Anybody got any others? David Wright {vax135|decvax|allegra}!cornell!ddw ddw@cornell