From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!floyd!cmcl2!philabs!sdcsvax!sdccsu3!iz328 Newsgroups: net.singles Title: Re: Single Better? Article-I.D.: sdccsu3.259 Posted: Thu Jan 27 04:14:12 1983 Received: Sat Jan 29 02:50:36 1983 References: watmath.4396 Is it not possible to have control AND love\intimacy? When you embark upon a relationship with another, you don't lose control; rather, the two people retain absolute control over certain parts of their lives, and SHARE control over the others- they don't lose it at all. I believe that the inability to share control over the parts of a relationship that are sensitive ( sex, intimacy with people outside the relationship, the giving of room to grow and willingness to adapt to changes in the partner, etc. ) is the reason so many relationships break up (as evidenced by the 50% divorce rate ). The issue is not the giving up of control, buut rather the sharing of it. Jack of Shadows.