From: utzoo!watmath!jamcmullan Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: Shaggy Dog Story Article-I.D.: watmath.4254 Posted: Wed Jan 12 09:51:16 1983 Received: Wed Jan 12 23:56:49 1983 I heard this one when I was about 12 years old. I thought it was hilarious, at the time. It's not the type of thing I usually like, but I retain a special fondness for it. --Judy McMullan Our hero, Fred, had a great love of baked beans. He loved to have them at least twice a week. Of course, his habit was not without its side effects. He was fairly well set up for this. His office (all office-mates had refused to stay) had a venting fan in the window. He avoided social engagements the day after indulging. However, the time came when Fred fell in love and when he married, he realized he could not continue his habit of eating the baked beans he loved, without driving his bride right out of the house. So, he vowed to give them up entirely. He was doing well and had not indulged for over a month, when he was in Woolworth's and the heavenly scent of baked beans caught him by surprise. The luncheon special!! -- and with pork instead of frankfurters. How could he resist? He didn't. The side effects didn't start till almost quitting time. Fred arrived home that evening and his wife greeted him at the door (obviously she works at home, using Datapac). She told him, "I have a big surprise for you tonight, darling. Put on this blindfold and no peeking!!". It was Fred's birthday, so he went along with this. His wife led him into the dining room & sat him down at the table. "Just wait here for a few minutes and I'll be right back." Thank god! Fred had been holding onto a fart since he walked in the door! As soon as she left the room he leaned over and let go. He fanned the air vigorously, to try to dissipate some of the smell. However, he had just settled back down when he felt the urge again. So, he leaned a little to the left and brrrrrp. Again, he fanned the air like mad. "I'll be there in a minute, sweetheart!", called his wife. "I'll be waiting, Sugarplum", called Fred. He had time for another quick one, he figured and let fly. The timing was just right and his wife returned about a half a minute later. He could smell a delicious smell of roast beef. "Now it's time to remove the blind- fold", said she and did so. What was the surprise? Twelve dinner guests seated around the dining room table!!!