From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!floyd!vax135!ariel!houti!hogpc!houxt!houxn!dossamg
Newsgroups: net.games
Title: Star Fleet Battles
Article-I.D.: houxn.344
Posted: Tue Mar 15 15:25:58 1983
Received: Tue Mar 22 21:45:27 1983





		       HHHHOOOOLLLLMMMMDDDDEEEELLLL WWWWAAAARRRRGGGGAAAAMMMMEEEERRRRSSSS NNNNEEEEWWWWSSSSLLLLEEEETTTTTTTTEEEERRRR
				Fall 1982
				    by
		      Alan M. Gopin and	Bill Neumann

       BBBBOOOOYYYY,,,, WWWWEEEE''''RRRREEEE RRRREEEEAAAALLLLLLLLYYYY LLLLAAAATTTTEEEE TTTTHHHHIIIISSSS TTTTIIIIMMMMEEEE............

       This is the fall	82 newsletter  of  the	Holmdel	 Wargamers.
       But it's	already	March you say?	Tough, the typist broke	his
       finger, and this	is the earliest	it could get  done.   Think
       of the short wait you'll	have for the spring newsletter.

       BBBBEEEEAAAAMMMM MMMMEEEE UUUUPPPP,,,, SSSSCCCCOOOOTTTTTTTTYYYY....

       In the first skirmish of	the Klingo-Kzinti war (of  our	new
       Star  Fleet  Battles  campaign)	the Kzintis, played by Alan
       Gopin and Chris Sampoli,	learned	some expensive	lessons	 in
       tactics.	 The Klingons fielded 3	D7 class battlecruisers	and
       a CV(T) carrier Tug, all	managed	 by  Bill  Neumann  (a.k.a.
       Ardak  Kumerian).   Alan	 had  the  CV Gladius and Chris	the
       Strike Cruisers Tweedle Dee and	Tweedle	 Dum.	Battle	was
       joined  in  earnest  as	Bill  turned  on  Chris'  2  Strike
       Cruisers, giving	the Tweedle Dee	a very bloody  nose.   This
       caused an immediate tactical withdrawal by Chris, which left
       Alan holding the	sack.  Turning his attentions to Alan, Bill
       used  that old Klingon magic and	charged	the Gladius and	its
       fighter swarm.  The D7 Distraught  was  heavily	damaged	 by
       drones,	but  Bill  pressed  onward, undaunted, until he	had
       closed to point blank  range.   Sub  space  was	alive  with
       Kzinti	calls	for   cruiser	support.   Chris  responded
       sluggishly with one  crusier.   Alan's  fighters	 were  busy
       finishing  off  the Distraught.	It was too late.  The first
       Klingon volley caused over 90 internal hits to the  Gladius.
       The  second  volley  was	 overkill.   The klingons took some
       damage as they dodged the expanding sphere  of  debris  from
       the  CV.	  Meanwhile,  as the fighters made their run at	the
       Distraught, her captain,	Lance Jibip, was heard	making	his
       last  sub space contact:	"Ship finished.	Must self-destruct.
       Wish  me	 luck.	Here  goes  noth....."	This  message	was
       terminated  by  a  blinding  flash  from	the Distraught.	 He
       never got the chance to self-destruct.  However,	the Kzintis
       lost 2 fighters and had 9 crippled in the fireball that used
       to be the Distraught.  As Commodore  Ardak  Kumerian  turned
       his  attention to the finally attacking CS, it was a case of
       Deja Vu.	 Without the massive drone power of the	carrier	 to
       distract	the klingons, the CS was blown to within an inch of
       destruction.   Chris  ordered  the  remaining   cruiser	 to
       disengage  as the Klingons pulled back to a safe	distance to
       finish off the crippled crusier.

       Final  Tally:  Kzinti  losses:  1  CV  destroyed	 with	all
       fighters,  1  CS	 destroyed,  1	CS  with  moderate internal
       damage.	Klingon	Losses:	1 D7 destroyed.	 No other  internal
       damage.	All fighters and shuttles lost.

       OOOOHHHH YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHH????

       As the Klingon-Kzinti  war  erupted  in	full  swing,  Grand
       Admiral	Alan  Gopin  sent  a massive punitive force against
       Kumerian's squadron.  Kumerian had been reinforced by 2	G-1
       pseudofighters  and  a  replacement for the D7 'Distraught.'
       The Kiznits however had come loaded for bear with  2  strike
       cruisers	(one towing a needle pseudofighter), a frigate,	and
       the "biggest Mutha you ever did see'  -	the  SCS  Hegemony,
       complete	with a full strike group of 6 pseudofighters and 12
       fighters.  The Hegemony is the Kizntis version of a one	man
       band.  Out gunned by over 50% Kumerian still accepted battle
       (cocky SOB ain't	he?).  In a wild series	of ups	and  downs,
       no  one	really	won  this  scrape, but it was one hell of a
       battle!	First, Alan got	one up by crippling the	2  G-1s	 as
       they  suicidally	 charged the Kzintis.  Then Alan got two up
       by hitting the D7 'Didjahaftu' with a drone  swarm,  forcing
       it  to  pull out	of the battle line.  Bill got even as the 2
       strike cruisers and the frigate hit  a  nuclear	space  mine
       planted	in their path by the "suicidal"	G-1s.  Score at	the
       half? EVEN.  As	the  Needles,  supported  by  12  fighters,
       charged	in,  they  set	off  the  second  NSM, wiping out 6
       Needles and all 12 fighters.  This explosion also  destroyed
       5  Klingon Z-2 fighters,	and damaged various nearby shuttles
       and drones.

       By this time, the second	D7 had been hit	by a  drone  swarm.
       The 'Dildonia' was almost destroyed and was left	without	any
       remaining power sources.	 This was in  spite  of	 Kumerian's
       decision	 to  do	 everything  possible  to  save	it from	the
       drones.	Not that old Ardak is a	softie,	its  just  that	 an
       exploding D7 in the midst of a close formation is unpleasant
       (as was soon to be made apparant).

       One strike cruiser and the frigate had pulled  out  by  now,
       leaving the undamaged SCS and one CS to charge the remaining
       Klingons, who at	this point consisted  of  one  D7  in  good
       shape, one CV(T)	in mint	condition, one D7 in fair condition
       but somewhat out	of position, and the 'Dildonia'	 which	was
       definitely no longer at Blue Book value.

       In  very	 rapid	sequence,  the	 following   happened	(as
       transcribed  from  subspace radio and the remaining recorder
       markers): D7 'Destruction': "Holy $%&*, that thing is coming
       at   us!...All  batteries  fire...Damage	 Control??...YOU'RE
       KIDDING...Crom's	Devils... the  CS  is  firing  too...Damage

       Control??...Hello...HELLO...%&$#*...Security	  stations,
       Mutiny in Engineering hull...Hello Commodore Kumerian,  this
       is  the	Snealina  Liberation Army.  The	ship is	ours.  Die,
       imperialist bone-faced  dogs...Kumerian	to  Squadron...Drop
       all  NSMs.  We're not going home.  They won't either....	 D7
       'Dildonia': Prepare for destruction...Drop  Mines...   CV(T)
       'Krebbs':   Warp	  out	of   here...  All  weapons  on	the
       SCS...NOW...	  SCS	   'Hegemony':	    Victory	 is
       ours....$%&*....Damage	     Control...Good...*&%$...Damage
       Control....     OK...10	  drones    point     blank...can't
       avoid...$%*&...Damage  Control....&$#*....   CS #1: What	are
       WE doing	here?  D7 Didjahaftu:  Bring  her  around...Fire...
       All  Ships,  More  Or  Less  Simulaneously: ...they're/we're
       (pick one) gonna	blow!!	CS #1: BOOM.   D7  Dildonia:  BOOM.
       D7  Destruction:	BOOM.  4 NSMs: BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.	SCS
       Hegemony: A Mine	 dead  ahead...another...another...BOOOMMM.
       CV(T)   Krebbs:	 $%*#/....*$#&%...$*%&%....*$&%*....We	got
       her!...Damage Control..	Amazing...Let's	go.  D7	Didjahaftu:
       Ditto.	 CV(T)	 Krebbs:   We	made   it....DRONES!...Hard
       aport...&$#*%...Damage Control...  Make	do.   D7Didjahaftu:
       We did it. We won?!?!??

       More or less.  Final score: Klingons 972	(including 351	for
       attacking   outnumbered)	 Kzinti	 496.	A  Klingon  victory
       (redefining the term Phyrric).

       AAAANNNNDDDD OOOONNNN TTTTHHHHEEEE OOOOTTTTHHHHEEEERRRR	FFFFRRRROOOONNNNTTTT............

       The following is	 a  transcription  of  Klingon	intercepted
       Hydran  sub  space radio	transmissions: Chris Sampoli is	the
       Hydran Commander, Scott Kennedy commands	the Klingon  Hydran
       frontier	squadrons.

       Admirals	Log: Hydran Date 3170.4
       Report on battle	of XX Quadrant

       Orders from His Royal Highness  Hydraxan	 XI  were  for	the
       Royal  Hydran  Navy  1st	Fleet to proceed into Klingon space
       and probe in force to determine Klingon strength	 along	the
       frontier.   THE	RHN 1st	Fleet included the DN Hydraxan VII,
       DDs  Helios  and	 Hera,	Scout  Mercury,	  and	4   Harrier
       pseudofighters.

       We proceeded at Warp 4 across the border	with  all  scanners
       and  sensors  at	max.  Sub space	communications were silent.
       Within five parsecs, the	scout scanners picked up 3  Klingon
       D7 cruisers, and	6 smaller craft, most likely G-1s escorting
       the D7s.

       At this moment, my communications  officer  reported  a	sub
       space  transmission  from  the Klingon Commander.  "You have
       entered Klingon Space!  Surrender or you	will be	destroyed!"
       Before  I  could	 respond to this message, my communications
       officer sent the	Klingons the  following	 reply:	 "You  fuzz
       faced  mother  rapers  sleep  with Lyrans!" This	brought	the
       morale up a bit.

       I ordered my fighers to scramble, along with the	IX  Harrier
       squadron	 under	command	of Lt. Krashnburn.  His	orders were
       to intercept the	Klingon	pseudofighters.	  We  received	the
       following  message  over	 sub space radio from him: "This is
       Lt. Krashnburn.	We have	engaged	 the  enemy.   We  are	now
       receiving incoming fire."

       On the Hydraxan VII, the	monitors  could	 not  pick  up	the
       engagement  because  of	the  extreme range.  Then six large
       explosions lit up the screens.  They appeared to	 come  from
       Lt.  Krashnburn's  quadrant.   The scanners couldn't pick up
       our squadron.  We  then	intercepted  a	garbled	 sub  space
       message	from  the  Klingons:  "#$%&#...Break  of@----...All
       Ships Repeat...?!/#$...Dis..gage" At this point,	the Klingon
       Fleet was reported to be	fleeing.  All but 2 of the ships in
       Lt. Krashnburn's	melee  were  taking  off  for  deep  space.
       Unfortunately,  none  of	the IX Harrier squadron	returned to
       report.

       I ordered  our  transporters  to	 lock  on  th  one  of	the
       Harrier's jettisoned recorder markers.  The contents read as
       follows:

       Captains	Log Supplemental: I have reported back	to  Admiral
       D.  Lerious  tha	 the  enemy has	been engaged by	the Princes
       three eyes.  The	Klingons have  destroyed  Harrier  #3  with
       their  first  volley.   The  explosion  has  caused  a chain
       reaction.					     Damage
       was....#$%?...Been...Taken...#$%?...Hssss...Most		 of
       crew...Dead...  Am Las....

       Epilog:	As Fleet  Admiral,  I  have  recommended  that	Lt.
       Krashnburn be awarded the Royal Hydran Cluster.	This action
       was a tactical victory for the Royal Hydran Navy.   (And	 an
       object  lesson  in  not flying in close formation when using
       Exp 2 self destruction rules. --- Ed.)