From: utzoo!decvax!ittvax!neiman Newsgroups: net.suicide Title: Re: Toilets and Light Sockets (Reprise) Article-I.D.: ittvax.592 Posted: Thu Jan 27 09:58:32 1983 Received: Sun Jan 30 04:50:22 1983 References: iwsl2.132 Who came up with this particular method of suicide? It seems fairly tacky and not nearly foolproof enough. Imagine how you'd feel if you woke up the next morning on the *cold* bathroom floor with one foot still in the john, a bump on the back of your head, second degree burns on one finger and a blown fuse. The method lacks the basic simplicity and elegance of taking a simple bath and dropping in a line cord. But I guess it depends on how you want to go. I think I'd prefer a) spectacular, and b) as painless as could be arranged. With these constraints, I modestly suggest the following methods. 1. Find a nuclear test site. Camp out near ground zero. Bring a paperback to keep you busy while waiting. This has the advantages of being instaneous. The problems of actually finding the test site, evading security, and leaving the obligatory note in readable form, I leave to the ingenious potential suicide. 2. Rent (or buy, you won't need the money anyway) a hang glider. Take a jump off a convenient mountain. Hang gliding is widely recognized as a socially acceptable form of suicide anyways and you will have several chances to off yourself during the course of your flight. Most spectacular would be to climb as high as possible and unstrap. This is not particularly fast, but I, at least, would be so interested on the way down that I don't think I'd mind. Of course, the problem with this method is that you might get so interested in hang gliding that you'd forget what you were up there for. Not to worry. See previous comment on hang gliding. 3. Become a security guard on the Starship Enterprise (you know, one of those guys in red who always get snuffed in the opening teaser) Probably haven't been much help, dann :-)