From: utzoo!decvax!ucbvax!CAD:tektronix!teklabs!done Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: More "Swifties" Article-I.D.: teklabs.1761 Posted: Sun Feb 20 17:37:47 1983 Received: Tue Feb 22 04:04:19 1983 Sorry, folks, but I really can't contain myself with these things: "My medical practice isn't doing too well lately," he said impatiently. "I just got a job as a construction worker!" he beamed. "You may be overdue for a pair of glasses," she speculated. "How dare you use cocaine in this house!" she sniffed. "The snow outside seems to have disappeared," he thought. "What kind of bread do you want on your sandwich?" she asked wryly. "Take the prisoners down to the basement," he said condescendingly. "My fingernail seems to be bleeding," she said quickly. "These lions are my pets," he said with pride. "I've just been drafted by the Seattle Seahawks!" he proclaimed. "Somebody just took a picture of me," she shuddered. "You must learn to keep track of your money," he advised sensibly. "We've decided to publish your classified advertisement," she admitted. "You always act like such a pig!" she squealed. "Walter Pidgeon was my favorite actor," she cooed. "That CBS News anchorman just talks too fast," he said rather hastily. "I grew up near Three Mile Island," she radiated. "My body didn't really develop until high school," she said tittilatingly. "Our camping trip was ruined when the tent collapsed," he said portentously. "How do I get this rifle to hit the target?" he asked amiably. "There seems to be a rattle somewhere in my car," she said lucidly. I fear that the possibilities for this humorous art form are endless, and that I should quit before I lose what's left of my mind (he said mindlessly). Don Ellis Tektronix ("What's the weather like in Oregon?" he asked precipitously.) ("Water you talking about?....Wet did you say?")