From: utzoo!decvax!duke!harpo!npoiv!npois!houxm!u1100a!sdo Newsgroups: net.social Title: Re: Harassment? Article-I.D.: u1100a.282 Posted: Thu Jan 20 13:00:38 1983 Received: Fri Feb 4 16:41:47 1983 References: hao.405 Could someone please clarify the door-holding issue? There is a difference between holding the door open until the person behind you catches up (but going through first, yourself) and holding the door open and letting the other person go through first. If a man only applies the second case to women, whether or not they are encumbered with packages, then some women can justifiably claim that this is a form of harassment. On the other hand, and based on personal experience, if a man doesn't apply the second case to women, then some women claim that this is rude. This goes for opening car doors also. The solutions depend on whether or not you are with the person who is holding-the-door/having-the-door-held for you. The rules I am proposing are as follows: 1. If you are with the other person, or just know the other person, for both your sakes, ask what to do/expect before a misunderstanding develops. 2. If you are a man, never hold the door (second definition) for a stranger. 3. If you are a woman, and you don't want men holding doors for you, and a man does, accept it as part of the mans old fashioned behavior. You might even want to thank him. 4. If you are a woman, and you want men to hold the door for you, and one doesn't, accept this as a man who is following rule #2. 5. If the man holding the door is wearing a uniform and cap, it's his job, so thank him and give him a tip. 6. If someone posts an article about this subject, and you disagree, and you see this person following you through a doorway, slam the door in his/her face. Scott Orshan Bell Labs Piscataway 201-981-3064 houxm!u1100a!sdo