From: utzoo!utcsrgv!bobr Newsgroups: net.singles Title: Love, Warmth & Sex vs. Control ?? Article-I.D.: utcsrgv.919 Posted: Sun Jan 23 21:51:50 1983 Received: Sun Jan 23 22:26:08 1983 I don't think Greg is right when he says that he has absolute control over his life now that he is single. Quite the contrary, I think that we (humans) depend on a ** lot** of things we do not have control over. For example, having been part of a community of people who I can discuss and go for a beer with was very necessary for me to complete my degree. I'm not saying that I needed shop-talk; I am talking about social interaction which we all need. Seemingly paradoxically, many people also need solitude, need to be "alone with themselves" at times. But then, if you can work out this seeming contradiction in the area of your friendships (i.e. interact well with friends, and yes, sometimes go a little out of your way for them but still not ** rely ** on them) then it should be possible carry this over to intimate relationships. It may be harder in the latter case, though. Looked at it this way, the need for love (and warmth and sex) is just one, albeit "extreme" (??), of all these human needs which are in some way or other "fulfilled" by other human beings. Why not see that special girl or woman as just another person who happens to be your lover ? Vell, I am also trying to convince myself, Ze Red Baron, University of Toronto