From: utzoo!decvax!ucbvax!CAD:tektronix!zehntel!sytek!menlo70!hao!woods Newsgroups: net.singles Title: If Not at Work, Where Article-I.D.: hao.454 Posted: Mon Mar 21 18:11:56 1983 Received: Thu Mar 24 08:34:46 1983 This is my first posting in quite a while. I've been very busy and was over 2 weeks behind in the news. I've been observing the discussion about whether or not to get involved with people from work, school, etc. There are some people (myself included) who do not have dynamic personailties, sexy bodies or any of the qualities that "traditionally" make you attractive at first impression. For those like me, the *only* way to ever meet a MOTOS is when normal, everyday life puts me into contact with her. This means neighbors, coworkers or people in the same "social group" are the only possibilities (for the record, the only real girlfriend I ever had was a next-door neighbor, as was my best non-romantic female friend). I have had very poor luck with women I meet for the first time in a "dating" situation. This includes a video dating service, friends-of- friends, and even net.singles . I often wonder at the reasons for this. One of them is that I just don't feel comfortable in a "dating" situation with a woman I don't know very well. Acute nervousness has even been known to make me physically ill in such situations ("Excuse me, sweetheart, while I go outside and throw up..." Sounds like something out of Woody Allen). The conclusion of all this is, I agree wholeheartedly with those who submitted articles which said, in summary, "Why limit your opportunites?". If a MOTOS appeals to you, why should it matter where you meet? True, breaking up is even more of a drag if you have to see the person every day, but if you are thinking about the breakup before the relationship even starts, then you are even more neurotic than I am and will probably always have trouble. Two comments to wrap this up: 1) I will not give up on dating women I meet through "meeting services", including net.singles! However, in view of the number of times I've heard something along the lines of "I like you, but we don't have anything in common", I can't justify too much optimism. 2) My biggest problem in meeting people at work and social groups is that all the women I meet these days are taken! There are several I've met at work that I might have persued were it not for the fact that they already have boyfriends or husbands. Indeed I have some very close (but of course, not romantic) relationships with some ladies I've met at work (and for all you HAO gossip hounds and rumor-mongers, I'm not necessarily referring to my *present* job). I suspect this is the price I (we?) pay for being in a male-dominated profession. GREG ucbvax!hplabs!hao!woods menlo70!hao!woods harpo!seismo!hao!woods decvax!brl-bmd!hao!woods P.S. I'd like nothing more than for some female netter to prove my pessimism wrong, but I'm not waiting with bated breath. I'm much more realistic than optimistic.