From: utzoo!watmath!jamcmullan
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Title: Shaggy Dog Story
Article-I.D.: watmath.4254
Posted: Wed Jan 12 09:51:16 1983
Received: Wed Jan 12 23:56:49 1983

I heard this one when I was about 12 years old. I thought it was hilarious,
at the time. It's not the type of thing I usually like, but I retain a
special fondness for it.
                                   --Judy McMullan

Our hero, Fred, had a great love of baked beans. He loved to have them at
least twice a week. Of course, his habit was not without its side effects.
He was fairly well set up for this. His office (all office-mates had refused
to stay) had a venting fan in the window. He avoided social engagements the
day after indulging.
However, the time came when Fred fell in love and when he married, he
realized he could not continue his habit of eating the baked beans he loved,
without driving his bride right out of the house. So, he vowed to give them
up entirely. He was doing well and had not indulged for over a month, when
he was in Woolworth's and the heavenly scent of baked beans caught him by
surprise. The luncheon special!! -- and with pork instead of frankfurters.
How could he resist? He didn't. The side effects didn't start till almost
quitting time.
Fred arrived home that evening and his wife greeted him at the door (obviously
she works at home, using Datapac). She told him, "I have a big surprise for
you tonight, darling. Put on this blindfold and no peeking!!". It was Fred's
birthday, so he went along with this. His wife led him into the dining room
& sat him down at the table. "Just wait here for a few minutes and I'll be
right back." Thank god! Fred had been holding onto a fart since he walked in
the door! As soon as she left the room he leaned over and let go. He fanned
the air vigorously, to try to dissipate some of the smell. However, he had
just settled back down when he felt the urge again. So, he leaned a little to
the left and brrrrrp. Again, he fanned the air like mad. "I'll be there in
a minute, sweetheart!", called his wife. "I'll be waiting, Sugarplum", called
Fred. He had time for another quick one, he figured and let fly. The timing
was just right and his wife returned about a half a minute later. He could
smell a delicious smell of roast beef. "Now it's time to remove the blind-
fold", said she and did so. What was the surprise?























Twelve dinner guests seated around the dining room table!!!