From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!seismo!hao!cires!harkins
Newsgroups: net.women
Title: compliment
Article-I.D.: cires.1994
Posted: Wed Feb 23 11:38:07 1983
Received: Thu Feb 24 02:05:33 1983

many times that sort of "left handed" compliment is taken as badly as possible
by the female in question; i think that the problem is much akin to the
difference between oriental and occidental "reality," ie, a function of
our right or left "brainedness" (sorry for that kludge); given that, it
is entirely expectable to find that men view most women as unable to
function well with regard to what men call logic, machines, etc.; women,
on the other hand, find men insensitive,etc. for the same inherent reason;
we both have to realize that there really is a fundamental difference in
the worldview of men and women, and try to be sensitive to that from
either side of the gender gap; given all that, if i were in barb's position,
i would interpret the "compliment" as something like, "you're ok, since
you can relate to things much like a man would; therefore, i don't have to
constantly keep in mind that you're not one."  my brother came up with
a cute aphorism to this general effect: "it's not that women don't have
a full deck, it's just that it's a different one."  ernie harkins