From: utzoo!decvax!yale-com!glaser
Newsgroups: net.women
Title: Re: friends and lovers
Article-I.D.: yale-com.1041
Posted: Thu Mar 10 03:00:52 1983
Received: Fri Mar 11 02:26:05 1983
References: crimson.1469 sun.210 hou5f.228

Lloyd claims that:

      Unfortunately, sex and/or its enjoyment (let's not get bogged down
      in semantics) falls into two broadly based categories; namely,
      gratuitous and intimate. The former is usually considered to have
      selfish motives while the latter tends to be reserved for the
      "closest" and therefore the "most intimate" of friendships

      Given this premise, the suggestion of sexual activity from either
      sex attempts to move the relationship to one or the other categories
      with predictable results.

I disagree strongly with this.  The two categories of "gratuitous" and
"intimate" are endpoints of a continuum.  Having experienced several points
along this range, I would say that it is the quality of the relationship
(both before and after things get physical) that determines the degree
to which sex is "gratuitous" or "intimate."  Sure, sex complicates
relationships, but to argue that it metamorphises a relationship into
either "gratuitousness" or "intimacy" strikes me as specious and maybe
even closed-minded.

Rob