From: utzoo!utcsrgv!phyllis
Newsgroups: net.women
Title: Working Mothers
Article-I.D.: utcsrgv.981
Posted: Fri Feb  4 21:02:07 1983
Received: Fri Feb  4 21:27:41 1983

I am a working Mother.  I have two daugthers aged 10 and 7 who bathe
regularly, eat three VERY healthy meals a day, wear clean clothes
daily, are not loved starved, who do above-average work in school, and,
I think, feel more loved and cared for than some other children I know
whose Mothers stay at home.

I am a daily netnews reader, and in the almost two years that I have
been following the discussions on the net, I have contributed only a
few articles.  This time, however, I feel compelled to submit this
article since I am furious at the generalizations that are being hurled
out by many unknowing, tradition-entrenched people.  So there are seven
dirty, love-starved children--does that necessarily imply that all
children of working Mothers are that way?  Of course not.  What sort of
environment have these children been brought-up in; what are their
parents like?  All of these influences count as much, if not more, than
the fact that their Mothers work.

For the most part of the first four years of my "Motherhood", I was at
home.  I taught six hours a week at the University of Toronto--the
hours I used to call "my sanity time".  I felt very little fulfillment
staying at home, cleaning the house, shopping, etc., although I did
enjoy many of the hours I spent with my children.  Once I went to work
full-time, I found that I was a better parent (I know it sounds like a
pat answer, but I really think that in my case it is true), and that my
relationship with my children improved.

Before I started to answer this, I asked my children what they thought
about me working.  They looked at me as if I were nuts, and asked me
"Why, what's wrong with working.  We are fine".  We discussed it for a
few minutes, but nothing negative came out of our chat.  My children
are well taken care of during the day.  They call me at lunchtime and
after school.  Like most computer people, I sometimes work later at
night, and they understand that as well.

I was away at Unicom and haven't read all of the recent articles in
net.women, but most of the negative discussion appears to be from men.
Are there any other working Mothers out there who are pleased with the
way their children are turning-out, and who prefer working to staying
at home?  Are the men who are partaking in the discussion Fathers?  If
they are, and their wives/mates are at home, do these women find it
fulfilling to be there?

I don't condemn women who are stay-at-home Mothers.  It should be
realized, however, as others have stated, that for many, it is
necessary to have two incomes, or for the woman to work due to other
factors, e.g. being a single parent.  I definitely do NOT believe that
a parent should sacrifice his/her existence (I am not talking about
life-death situations) for children.  If a woman likes to work, needs
to work, and her children are well-looked after, great.  Perhaps
someday better daycare/babysitting facilities will be available at
cheaper rates so that more women will have better options.

Before condemnations are generalized to over 2K people, they should be
examined carefully, and experience should be a high mark in this
examination.  Entrenchment in out-dated ideas holds individuals and
society back.


					Phyllis Eve Bregman
					decvax!utzoo!utcsrgv!phyllis