From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!seismo!rlgvax!oz
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Title: FAMOUS INSULTS/COMMENTS BY GEORGE S. KAUFMAN
Article-I.D.: rlgvax.1115
Posted: Sat Feb 26 00:13:33 1983
Received: Sun Feb 27 02:05:09 1983


My Dorothy Parker lines were well received, so I dare to mention some
lines by another member of "The Algonquin Round Table," Playwrite,
George S. Kaufman.

Apon lunching at the Algonquin Harpo Marx remarked about the high prices
of all the lunch items.
"My g-d George, what the hell can you get here for 50 cents?"

George told him.  "A quarter."

Apon being badgered by someone who was trying to give him advice,
this exchange took place.
"Possilby you don't realize who I am."

"That's only half of it," Kaufman assured him."

"You heard of people living in a fool's paradise?"  Kaufman inquired.
"Well, Leonora has a duplex there."

He was once sitting in a speakeasy in Times Square with Ring Lardner and
heard this exchange between Lardner and a actor-type creature with long
ahir and a flowing bow tie. "How do you look," Lardner asked, "when I'm
sober?"

And I shall leave you with one last Dorothy Parker line.  Once Parker
was looking for a new apartment, and the real estate agent, knowing the
writers fame, kept showing her these elaborate apartments.  Finally
Dorothy had to explain to the agent: "You don't understand, all I want
is a place where I can lay a hat and coat, and a few friends.

(the above liberally quoted from "George S. Kaufman, and Intimate Portrait"
by Howard Teichmann Antheneum, 1972)

				The humbug, OZ
				rlgvax!oz