From: utzoo!utcsrgv!chris Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: Russian Humour Article-I.D.: utcsrgv.935 Posted: Thu Jan 27 10:46:43 1983 Received: Thu Jan 27 11:26:34 1983 Some jokes out of Russia: ( from "Russia Dies Laughing" ) * A man in Moscow was arrested by the KGB after running through the streets shouting, "The whole world is suffering because of one man!" Asked by the interrogator who he had in mind, he replied, "Hitler, naturally," and was set free. On the way to the door he paused and then asked, "Excuse me, but who did you have in mind?" * President Kennedy comes to God and asks, "How many years before my people will be happy?" "Fifty years," replies God. Kennedy weeps and leaves. De Gaulle comes to God and asks, "How many years before my people will be happy?" "A hundred years," replied God. De Gaulle weeps and leaves. Khrushchev comes to God and asks, "How many years before my people will be happy?" God weeps and leaves. * Brezhnev and Napolean meet in the next world. "If we had had such a brilliant commander as you in the Soviet Union instead of Stalin," Brezhnev says to Napolean, "then we would not have allowed Hitler to cross our threshold." "And if I had had newspapers like your Pravda," says Napolean, "not a soul would have heard about Waterloo." * A Soviet architect was on a trip abroad. A foreign architect invited him to his house. He showed his Soviet guest around the house. "This is the hall," he explained, "and this is the sitting room. This is my study, those are the children's bedrooms, this is the main bedroom, and this is a spare room for visitors. Then there are the kitchen, the dining room, two bathrooms, and a lavatory." "It is a very good arrangement," said the Soviet guest. "What sort of arrangement do you have?" "Much the same, only without the partitions." * An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an American are arguing about the nationality of Adam and Eve. "They must have been English," declares the Englishman. "Only a gentleman would share his last apple with a woman." "They were undoubtedly French," says the Frenchman. "Who else could seduce a woman so easily?" "I think they were Russian," says the American. "Who else could walk around naked, feed on one apple between the two of them, and still manage to think they were in Paradise?" (this was in the September '82 World Press Review.) Chris Retterath.