From: utzoo!decvax!cwruecmp!glassner Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: Physicist joke Article-I.D.: cwruecmp.427 Posted: Sat Jan 22 15:29:03 1983 Received: Mon Jan 24 04:52:01 1983 As long as we're telling physicist/engineer/etc. jokes, I thought I would include this one, told to me by my brother several years ago while he was attending Cornell as an undergraduate. One day a very well-dressed man entered the office of the President of Cornell. He declared that he had just won longest shot at the horse races he had ever taken, and was now a multi-millionaire. "I would like to donate several of my millions to this school," he declared, "but there is a condition. To remind me always of where my wealth came from, and to generate more wealth, you must set your finest minds on the task of developing the perfect race horse." The president accepted the challenge, and called together the heads of each of the different departments, to determine which department should get the generous advance the old man had left for the necessary research. The chairman of the Biology Department announced, "Clearly the horse is a biological creature; therefore the Biology Department should do the work." The chairman of the mechanical engineering department then declared, "Why, obviously the solution is a mechanical one; the mechanical engineering department should receive the grant." "No!", cried the systems department chairman. "A complex animal such as a horse is a complete system and must be analyzed as such. We are the logical choice." Well, the argument raged back and forth among the different departments, until the physics chairman spoke up. "The physics department historically has undertaken projects related to all these disciplines. With our equipment, brains, and many undergraduate students the physics department should recieve the project and money." Needless to say, this eloquent speech netted the physics department the project, and they set their minds to it the next day. One year later the old gentleman returned to the president's office to receive his horse and donate the rest of the money. Together the president and the millionaire went to the physics chairman's office. "Have you completed the project? Have you designed me a perfect race horse?" demanded the old man. The physics professor looked up and smiled, and said, "Well, the problem of designing the perfect race horse is formidable and yet unsolved. However," he went on, "we HAVE solved the problem for the perfectly spherical horse." -well, my brother told it originally! a little afraid to sign my name, so I'll just type it... -Andrew Glassner !decvax!cwruecmp!glassner