From: utzoo!decvax!ucbvax!ARPAVAX:CAD:teklabs!tekmdp!jimd Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: How To Lose Weight joke Article-I.D.: tekmdp.1241 Posted: Wed Jun 2 14:15:26 1982 Received: Thu Jun 3 05:28:42 1982 It seems there was this man who was extremely overweight. He decided that it was time to do something about his problem. He had heard that there was a new weight-loss clinic in town for men only, so he decided to go down to see what they had to offer. As he walked in the front door of the clinic he noticed a sign which read: ------------------------------------- | Miracu-Loss | | ----------- | | In just 1 hour you can: | | lose 15 pounds ... $80 | | or | | lose 30 pounds ... $150 | |-----------------------------------| /\ / \ Well this guy was a little short on money, so he thought he would try the $80 route this time through. After he paid his money, he found himself standing in what appeared to be an exercise room, all by himself. All of a sudden a cage started descending from the ceiling ... and in the cage, a beautiful woman (naked), with a sign around her neck which read: |----------------------| | If You Catch Me, | | Anything You Want!!! | |----------------------| Immediately, thoughts of splendor started reeling through his mind as the cage door opened and she came out. He raced around and around but in his futile attempt just could never get ahold of her. Finally his hour was up, she ran into the cage, the cage door closed, and the cage ascended back into the ceiling. Sure enough, he had lost 15 pounds. So, he went home only about half satisfied, which made him decide that he would go back and try the "30 lb. weight loss plan". As before, he was standing in another exercise room, which was smaller than the other exercise room that he had been in before. The cage started descending, and thoughts of that beautiful girl and the smaller room was almost too much ... but then ... Terror...He saw that this time there was no girl in the cage, at least not humanoid ...It was a huge female gorilla (obviously in Heat) with a sign around her neck which read: |--------------------| | If I Catch You, | | Anything I Want!!! | |--------------------|