From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!utah-cs!haas
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Title: Summer Quarter Course Offerings
Article-I.D.: utah-cs.656
Posted: Fri May 14 13:31:05 1982
Received: Sat May 15 03:46:30 1982

The following courses will be offered Summer Quarter:

SELF-IMPROVEMENT AND HUMAN RELATIONS:
  Creative Suffering
  Overcoming Peace of Mind
  You and Your Birthmark
  Guilt Without Sex
  The Primal Shrug
  Ego Gratification Through Violence
  Molding Your Child's Behavior Through Guilt and Fear
  Dealing With Post-Realization Depression
  Whine Your Way to Alienation
  How to Overcome Self-doubt through Pretense and Ostentation
  Reduce Your Way to Success

BUSINESS AND CAREER
  Home Burglary Made Easy
  Money Can Make You Rich
  Career Opportunities in El Salvador
  How to Profit from Your Own Body
       (rescheduled from last term due to public demand)
  The Underachievers Guide to Very Small Business Opportunities
  Tax Shelters for the Indigent
  Voter's Guide to America's Cities
  Exploiting Lust - How to Enter the Lucrative Slavery Market

HOME ECONOMICS
  How You Can Convert Your Family Room into a Garage
  Cultivating Viruses in Your Refrigerator
  Burglarproof Your Home with Concrete
  Basic Kitchen Taxidermy
  The Repair and Maintenance of Your Virginity
  What to Do with Your Conversation Pit
  Christianity and the Art of RV Maintenance
  Extend Your Food Budget by Salvaging Road Kills
  Save Money with Backyard Burials

CRAFTS
  Self-Actualization Through Macrame
  Needlecraft for Junkies
  Cuticle Crafts
  Gifts for the Senile
  Bonzai Your Pet
  Braille Taxidermy

HEALTH AND FITNESS
  Creative Tooth Decay
  Exorcism and Acne
  The Joys of Hypochondria
  High Fiber Sex
  Suicide and Your Health
  Biofeedback and How to Stop It
  Skate Yourself to Regularity
  Understanding Nudity
  Tap Dance Your Way to Social Ridicule
  Optional Body Functions
  The Home Suppository Diet
  Aerobic Sex
  Aerobic Abstinence
  Beginning Coed Mud Wrestling

VICTIMOLOGY
  Get the Most from Your Victim Story
  Latent Victimology - How to Bring Out the Victim in You
  The Ultimate Victim - You Can Be One Too
  Competitive Victimology - Winning by Losing
  The Total Victim
  How to Be Your Own "Mr. Bill"
  The Inferiority Complex: How Simple It Can Be
  Victims Make Better Lovers
  Creative Victimizing
  Victim Phraseology - Learn to effectively use phrases such as:
	It's not fair, You made me do it, It wasn't my fault,
	I didn't have time, But I didn't know, etc.

TOO LATE TO CLASSIFY
  How to Build Glass Houses with Brick Windows
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