From: utzoo!decvax!microsof!fluke!vax1:bakken Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: Equal time for political jokes: Jimmy Carter Article-I.D.: vax1.158 Posted: Fri Jul 30 09:26:58 1982 Received: Sun Aug 1 04:42:17 1982 One day while President Carter was sitting alone in a room in the White house thinking about his role as the leader of the free world, the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt paid him a visit. Teddy could clearly see that something was disturbing him, so he asked him what was on his mind. "Well," replied Jimmy, "I just can't seem to command any respect. My own Democratic Congress laughs at me behind by back, the press abuses me, and even the American people think I am a joke. Things are so bad that just the other day I was attacked by a rabbit, and a big one at that -- his teeth were bigger than mine! I finally mustered the courage to splash some water on him just in the nick of time, and that scared him off." "You are a brave man, Mr. Carter," said Teddy, "and you certainly could have ridden with the Roughriders in my day. But tell me, how is the state of our economy?" "Well, its not so good. Inflation is making things much more expensive than we can afford, and the national budget is increasing by 20% every year." "Well I hope you have cut out the nonsense parts of government and made it to exactly what it was meant to do -- defend the shores and deliver the mail." "No," responded Jimmy, "but we did print more money to cover our debts." "A good example of decisive leadership, Mr. Carter. But tell me, what has happened lately in the world of foreign affairs?" "Well, over a year ago some religous fanatics siezed our embassy in Iran -- I believe that was Persia in your day -- and held many United States citizens as hostages." Teddy replied immediately, "You sent in the Marines immediately, of course?" "No," said Jimmy, "but we did dim the Christmas Tree lights this year." "Bully for you, Jimmy my boy." The ghost of the great President paused for a second and said: "You know, Jimmy, you had me worried there. For a minute there I thought you were going to tell me that you have the Panama Canal away!" Greg Bakken