From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!Anonymous Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: Merger Announced - (nf) Article-I.D.: harpo.710 Posted: Tue Jun 1 21:14:30 1982 Received: Wed Jun 2 02:50:43 1982 #N:harpo:8300003:000:2274 harpo!Anonymous Jun 1 21:11:00 1982 Here at the labs we get occasional desk to desk memos on important news concerning the bell system. The following came across my desk the in the same official form: ##### ###### # # # ## ##### #### # # # # # # # # # # # ##### ##### # # # # # ##### #### # # # # # # ###### # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # ##### ###### ###### ###### ###### # # ##### #### # # ###### # # #### ##### ##### ###### ## # # ## # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # ##### # # #### ##### # # ##### # # #### # # # # # ## # # # # ##### # ###### # # # ## # ## ## # # # # # # # # # # # # # ###### # # #### ##### # # ###### # # # # ...an up-to-the minute Bell Labs News supplement June 1, 1982 Merger Announced In an effort to stem potentially destructive legislation, AT&T announced plans today to purchase the U.S. Goverment. This decision was not reached lightly, but AT&T chairman Charles L. Brown feels strongly that the change will be in the best interest of the employees, the stockholders, and the Bell System customers. "We have been involved in lengthy debate with officials from every branch of the goverment. There is no feasible long or short term solution to the Bell Systems problems. The Justice Department and the Congress want the country to have the best telecommunications service in the world, and we all felt some sacrifices would have to be made to accomplish this goal," Brown was quoted as saying today from his plush Manhattan office. No major changes are anticipated in either the structure or current staff of the Goverment. However, Brown indicated his intention to make one key personal change. "Timothy Wirth is fired. I wouldn't give him a job in my company if he begged me" was the chairman's only comment. Trading in AT&T stock has been suspended until furhter notice. More details about this announcement will be contained in next week's Bell Labs News.