From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!uwvax!doug Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: Re: How To Lose Weight joke Article-I.D.: uwvax.406 Posted: Thu Jun 3 14:52:08 1982 Received: Sat Jun 5 00:47:25 1982 References: tekmdp.1241 here's another weight loss joke: It seems that Marvin had been extremely overweight his whole life. Finally, seeing that the best times of his youth were slipping away, Marvin decided to commit himself to finally staying on a diet. Although he weighed at least several hundreds of pounds, Marvin persisted in staying on his diet. He was going to lose weight while he was still young and have all the fun, nice clothes and beautiful women he always fantasized about. The struggle was long and hard. The long, hungry days stretched into weeks and months. Marvin was often tempted to go off his diet, but the thought of a sensual, exciting future kept him at it. Finally, after months and months and months of effort, Marvin had lost enought weight to have some fun for the first time in his life. He threw out all his old clothes and bought himself a brand new wardrobe. He got rid of his gas guzzler and bought himself a spiffy new, small sportscar. Then Marvin set out for Florida to enjoy the beaches and the sun and the women for the first time. Finally his life would be worth living! He was about five miles out on the interstate when his new car ran out of control and he ran off the ride into a ditch and was killed instantly. After the smoke cleared a bit, his spirit rose from the car. He looked about him, at his wrecked car, his destroyed future. He shook his hands angrily at God and asked, "how could you do this to me? All my life I have been grossly overweight and could never enjoy myself. Finally I worked hard at getting myself in shape and wanted to enjoy life a little. Why me? Why me?" Suddenly the sky opened up and a voice from the heavens answered, "Look, I'm sorry Marvin. To tell the truth, you looked so good I didn't even recognize you!"