From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!npois!ucbvax!ARPAVAX:CAD:teklabs!tekmdp!dadla-b!dadla-a!steve
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Title: ABC also invades
Article-I.D.: dadla-a.122
Posted: Mon Jun 14 08:35:59 1982
Received: Wed Jun 16 02:12:08 1982
Reply-To: p!dadla-b!dadla-a!steve

     ABC ALSO INVADES

   Washington (AP) - ABC News announced a retaliatory invasion of East
Falkland, at Goose Green. "We felt the pre-emptive invasion by CBS news
destabalized the strategic balance between the networks, and could not go
un-answered," said ABC correspondent Sam Donaldson.
   There were reports of fierce exchanges of camera-fire between the
two invasion forces. ABC apparently is attempting to intercept both of
the CBS columns, keeping them from reaching their objective at Stanley.
"Once they reached Stanley, there would be no way to dislodge them. We
had to prevent that."
   NBC news has disavowed any intentions of an invasion of their own.
"We are busy with the Lebanese war at this time, and do not have any
forces to spare for what we consider to be a strategically unimportant
objective," said an unidentified spokesman for NBC news. However, leaks
from the highest level of the ruling NBC junta indicated that they are
maintaining full alert status at their Miami news office.
   It has also been reported that cable-king Ted Turner is looking into
an invasion of his own for CNN.
   An urgent meeting of the U.N. security council has been called to discuss
the rapidly escalating news crisis in the Falklands. However, it is
expected that any important resolutions will be vetoed by CBS news.