From: utzoo!decvax!ucbvax!ARPAVAX:CAD:teklabs!tekmdp!jimd
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Title: How To Lose Weight joke
Article-I.D.: tekmdp.1241
Posted: Wed Jun  2 14:15:26 1982
Received: Thu Jun  3 05:28:42 1982




     It  seems there was  this man who was extremely overweight.  He 
decided  that it was time to do something  about his problem. He had 
heard that there was a new weight-loss  clinic in town for men only,
so he decided to go down to see what they had to offer.
     As he walked in the front door of the clinic he noticed  a sign
which read:
		-------------------------------------
		|	     Miracu-Loss            |
		|	     -----------	    |
		|	In just 1 hour you can:	    |
		|	lose 15 pounds ... $80	    |
		|     or			    |
		|     	lose 30 pounds ... $150	    |
		|-----------------------------------|
				  /\
				 /  \

     Well  this  guy was a  little short  on money, so he thought he 
would try the $80 route this time through.  After he paid his money,
he found himself standing  in  what appeared to be an exercise room,
all  by himself.  All of a sudden a cage started descending from the
ceiling ... and in the cage, a beautiful woman  (naked), with a sign
around her neck which read:

		       |----------------------|
		       | If You Catch Me,     |
		       | Anything You Want!!! |
		       |----------------------|

Immediately,  thoughts of splendor started reeling through  his mind
as the cage door opened and she came out. He raced around and around
but in his futile attempt just could never get ahold of her. Finally
his hour was up,  she ran  into the cage,  the cage door closed, and
the cage ascended back into the ceiling. Sure enough, he had lost 15
pounds.
     So,  he went  home only  about half  satisfied,  which made him
decide that he would go back and try  the "30 lb. weight loss plan".
As  before,  he was  standing in  another exercise  room,  which was
smaller than the other exercise room that he had been in before. The
cage started descending, and thoughts of that beautiful girl and the
smaller  room  was  almost too much ... but then ... Terror...He saw
that this time there was no girl in the cage, at  least not humanoid
...It was a  huge  female  gorilla (obviously in Heat)  with  a sign
around her neck which read:

		      |--------------------|
		      | If I Catch You,    |
		      | Anything I Want!!! |
		      |--------------------|