From: utzoo!decvax!ucbvax!G:ARPAVAX:CAD:teklabs!tekmdp!azure!waynem
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Title: More Faulty Writing
Article-I.D.: azure.900
Posted: Thu Jun  3 14:41:37 1982
Received: Sat Jun  5 01:16:34 1982

The following statements were taken from actual letters received by
a local welfare office in application for support (compiled by the
Department of Special Education and Rehabilitation, School of
Education, University of Pittsburgh and Philadelphia):

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six children. I
have seven, but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of
paper.

I am writing the Welfare Department to say that my baby born 2
old. When do I get my money?

Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited
regularly by the clergy.

I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why?

I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.

This is my 8th child. What are you going to do about it?

Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am now
living with can't eat or do anything till he knows.

I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate.
This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.

In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing
ten pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 3 children, one of
which is a mistake as you can see.

My husband got his project cut off 2 weeks ago and I haven't had
any relief since.

Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to
live an immoral life.

You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any
difference?

I have no children as yet as my husband is a truck driver and
works day and night.

In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins
in the enclosed envelope.

I want my money as quick as I can get it. I've been in bed with
the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things
don't improve I will have to send for another doctor.


Wayne Moore
(teklabs!tekmdp!azure!waynem)