From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!utah-cs!haas Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: Summer Quarter Course Offerings Article-I.D.: utah-cs.656 Posted: Fri May 14 13:31:05 1982 Received: Sat May 15 03:46:30 1982 The following courses will be offered Summer Quarter: SELF-IMPROVEMENT AND HUMAN RELATIONS: Creative Suffering Overcoming Peace of Mind You and Your Birthmark Guilt Without Sex The Primal Shrug Ego Gratification Through Violence Molding Your Child's Behavior Through Guilt and Fear Dealing With Post-Realization Depression Whine Your Way to Alienation How to Overcome Self-doubt through Pretense and Ostentation Reduce Your Way to Success BUSINESS AND CAREER Home Burglary Made Easy Money Can Make You Rich Career Opportunities in El Salvador How to Profit from Your Own Body (rescheduled from last term due to public demand) The Underachievers Guide to Very Small Business Opportunities Tax Shelters for the Indigent Voter's Guide to America's Cities Exploiting Lust - How to Enter the Lucrative Slavery Market HOME ECONOMICS How You Can Convert Your Family Room into a Garage Cultivating Viruses in Your Refrigerator Burglarproof Your Home with Concrete Basic Kitchen Taxidermy The Repair and Maintenance of Your Virginity What to Do with Your Conversation Pit Christianity and the Art of RV Maintenance Extend Your Food Budget by Salvaging Road Kills Save Money with Backyard Burials CRAFTS Self-Actualization Through Macrame Needlecraft for Junkies Cuticle Crafts Gifts for the Senile Bonzai Your Pet Braille Taxidermy HEALTH AND FITNESS Creative Tooth Decay Exorcism and Acne The Joys of Hypochondria High Fiber Sex Suicide and Your Health Biofeedback and How to Stop It Skate Yourself to Regularity Understanding Nudity Tap Dance Your Way to Social Ridicule Optional Body Functions The Home Suppository Diet Aerobic Sex Aerobic Abstinence Beginning Coed Mud Wrestling VICTIMOLOGY Get the Most from Your Victim Story Latent Victimology - How to Bring Out the Victim in You The Ultimate Victim - You Can Be One Too Competitive Victimology - Winning by Losing The Total Victim How to Be Your Own "Mr. Bill" The Inferiority Complex: How Simple It Can Be Victims Make Better Lovers Creative Victimizing Victim Phraseology - Learn to effectively use phrases such as: It's not fair, You made me do it, It wasn't my fault, I didn't have time, But I didn't know, etc. TOO LATE TO CLASSIFY How to Build Glass Houses with Brick Windows -------