From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!ihps3!inuxc!inuxa!rael Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: Greyhound Article-I.D.: inuxa.123 Posted: Fri Jul 16 13:07:14 1982 Received: Sat Jul 17 02:12:40 1982 The heroine of our story (a 76 year old woman from Terre Haute, IN) was traveling with her poodle (Max) on a Greyhound bus. They were about half way on their trip to visit her relatives on the East Coast, when a suited businessman boarded the bus and sat next to her. Inmediately, Max (being a very friendly poodle) decided to jump on the gentleman's lap. The gentleman then told our heroine: "Look here lady... I don't want your dog to ruin my suit, so could you please get him off my lap". Our heroine quickly took Max off from the gentleman. About ten miles went by from the previous incident, when the businessman decided to light up a cigar. The lady reacted to this saying: "Please Sir... I'm an old lady and smoke makes it hard for me to breathe. Could you please put out that cigar?". The gentleman (not very happily) put out his cigar. Later on the trip the lady nodded off and Max took the opportunity to once again try to befriend the gentleman. The gentleman then woke the lady and she grabbed Max again and went back to sleep. The businessman decided then to relight his cigar. This woke up the lady and she asked the man once again to put out his cigar, and the man did so. A few minutes after this, our heroine once again fell asleep and once again Max jumped to the chance of making new friends. The frustrated man decided just to ignore the dog and just light up and enjoy his cigar. The lady woke up from the smoke and very angrily told the man: "I've told you I cannot stand that smoke!!! If you try to light up that cigar once again on this trip, I swear I'll toss it out the window!!!" The businessman replied: "Just try that lady, and I'll toss your stupid dog out of the window". The rest of the trip was uneventful, and when they were near their destination (Fort Lee, NJ) the businessman (having forgotten the early incident) relit his cigar. Our heroine was outraged. She reached over, grabbed the cigar opened the window, and tossed it out. This really pissed the man, so he grabbed ahold of Max and tossed him out the window. The lady and the man did not speak for the remaining of the trip. When they got to Fort Lee, the man was feeling so guilty about what he had done that he decided to apologize. "Lady...", he said, "I'm so very sorry about what I've done. When you threw my cigar out I got so upset... but a cigar is just a cigar, a dog on the other hand is something special..." "Don't let it worry you a bit Sir", interrupted the lady as she looked back down the road they came on, "look this way... Max is over there, and he's running this direction". "I'll be darn", said the man, "he must have followed us from where I threw him out. And look... it seems like he's carrying something on his mouth... you think it could be my cigar???" "No", replied our heroine, "I think it's the extra brick from yesterday's dumb joke".