From: utzoo!decvax!ucbvax!G:ARPAVAX:CAD:teklabs!tekmdp!azure!waynem Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: More Faulty Writing Article-I.D.: azure.900 Posted: Thu Jun 3 14:41:37 1982 Received: Sat Jun 5 01:16:34 1982 The following statements were taken from actual letters received by a local welfare office in application for support (compiled by the Department of Special Education and Rehabilitation, School of Education, University of Pittsburgh and Philadelphia): I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six children. I have seven, but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper. I am writing the Welfare Department to say that my baby born 2 old. When do I get my money? Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy. I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why? I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead. This is my 8th child. What are you going to do about it? Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can't eat or do anything till he knows. I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born. In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing ten pounds. I hope this is satisfactory. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 3 children, one of which is a mistake as you can see. My husband got his project cut off 2 weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since. Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to live an immoral life. You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference? I have no children as yet as my husband is a truck driver and works day and night. In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope. I want my money as quick as I can get it. I've been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve I will have to send for another doctor. Wayne Moore (teklabs!tekmdp!azure!waynem)