From: utzoo!decvax!yale-com!dm
Newsgroups: net.flame
Title: Re: COBOL is a joke
Article-I.D.: yale-com.583
Posted: Fri Jun 11 10:12:04 1982
Received: Sun Jun 13 01:52:13 1982


A theory about COBOL, paraphrased without permission from the author
whose name will be withheld to protect him from any COBOL fanatics.

Postulate #1
	Programming is a somewhat difficult task which not everyone
	is capable of working 9 to 5 at.

Postulate #2
	Big business likes to pay people for working 9 to 5, not the irregular
	hours that many programmers like to keep.

Theorem #1
	Only one in twenty keystrokes used in a COBOL program are really necessary

	PROOF:
		For almost any COBOL program, an equivalent APL program could
		be written in under 1/20 keystrokes of the COBOL.

CONCLUSIONS:
	For people who have trouble doing intensive programming sessions
	COBOL is their salvation. Rather than be constantly thinking where
	the next keystroke must go, COBOL has a built in rest time in every
	instruction. SO... for those who are not capable of programming eight
	hours a day, you can spend eight hours writing COBOL, have many pages
	of code to show your supervisor, and be able to look busy all day
	long, in order to justify your paycheck.

						decvax!yale-comix!dm