From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!uwvax!doug
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Title: Re: How To Lose Weight joke
Article-I.D.: uwvax.406
Posted: Thu Jun  3 14:52:08 1982
Received: Sat Jun  5 00:47:25 1982
References: tekmdp.1241

here's another weight loss joke:

It seems that Marvin had been extremely overweight his whole life.
Finally, seeing that the best times of his youth were slipping away,
Marvin decided to commit himself to finally staying on a diet.

Although he weighed at least several hundreds of pounds, Marvin persisted
in staying on his diet.  He was going to lose weight while he was still
young and have all the fun, nice clothes and beautiful women he always
fantasized about.

The struggle was long and hard.  The long, hungry days stretched into
weeks and months.  Marvin was often tempted to go off his diet, but
the thought of a sensual, exciting future kept him at it.

Finally, after months and months and months of effort, Marvin had
lost enought weight to have some fun for the first time in his life.

He threw out all his old clothes and bought himself a brand new
wardrobe.  He got rid of his gas guzzler and bought himself a
spiffy new, small sportscar.  Then Marvin set out for Florida to
enjoy the beaches and the sun and the women for the first time.
Finally his life would be worth living!

He was about five miles out on the interstate when his new car ran
out of control and he ran off the ride into a ditch and was killed
instantly.

After the smoke cleared a bit, his spirit rose from the car.  He
looked about him, at his wrecked car, his destroyed future.  He
shook his hands angrily at God and asked, "how could you do this to
me?  All my life I have been grossly overweight and could never
enjoy myself.  Finally I worked hard at getting myself in shape
and wanted to enjoy life a little.  Why me?  Why me?"

Suddenly the sky opened up and a voice from the heavens answered,
"Look, I'm sorry Marvin.  To tell the truth, you looked so good
I didn't even recognize you!"