From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!npois!ucbvax!ARPAVAX:CAD:teklabs!tekmdp!dadla-b!dadla-a!steve Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: ABC also invades Article-I.D.: dadla-a.122 Posted: Mon Jun 14 08:35:59 1982 Received: Wed Jun 16 02:12:08 1982 Reply-To: p!dadla-b!dadla-a!steve ABC ALSO INVADES Washington (AP) - ABC News announced a retaliatory invasion of East Falkland, at Goose Green. "We felt the pre-emptive invasion by CBS news destabalized the strategic balance between the networks, and could not go un-answered," said ABC correspondent Sam Donaldson. There were reports of fierce exchanges of camera-fire between the two invasion forces. ABC apparently is attempting to intercept both of the CBS columns, keeping them from reaching their objective at Stanley. "Once they reached Stanley, there would be no way to dislodge them. We had to prevent that." NBC news has disavowed any intentions of an invasion of their own. "We are busy with the Lebanese war at this time, and do not have any forces to spare for what we consider to be a strategically unimportant objective," said an unidentified spokesman for NBC news. However, leaks from the highest level of the ruling NBC junta indicated that they are maintaining full alert status at their Miami news office. It has also been reported that cable-king Ted Turner is looking into an invasion of his own for CNN. An urgent meeting of the U.N. security council has been called to discuss the rapidly escalating news crisis in the Falklands. However, it is expected that any important resolutions will be vetoed by CBS news.