From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!ihnss!ihuxl!no5fts Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: trid pun Article-I.D.: ihuxl.174 Posted: Thu Jun 17 14:30:24 1982 Received: Sat Jun 19 05:01:54 1982 A long time ago there lived in Israel a specie known by the name of Trids. These animals, resembling kittens and bunnies, were adored by all--almost all, that is. You see, there also existed in the mountains of Israel a huge, tyrannical beast known as the Fogre Ogre. (One can only speculate as to the cause of his meanness, but the chairman of the zoology department at the University of Tel Aviv is on record as saying that the source of Fogre Ogre's terrible disposition is a continuous abdominal pain much like labor, constipation and premenstrual cramps all combined.) The Fogre Ogre was mean to virtually everyone but meanest to the most adorable animal imaginable, the Trid. Now the Trids have a special fondness for a certain shrubbery which grew only on those hills occupied by the Fogre Ogre. But Trids, being a very optimistic group, were not deterred from attempting to obtain their favorite dessert. Apparently it tasted much like chocolate and induced many of the same hallucinogenic effects as catnip. In the waning summer days just before the New Year (Israel, remember?) began, a certain roly-poly trid very cutely made its way up a mountain to get some "chocolate catnip." When it was about halfway up to the top, the Fogre Ogre bounded out from a cave and drop-kicked the helpless trid down the hill. Trids were also very persistent and so the little fuzzy creature picked itself up and proceeded back up the hill. Again, the Ogre intercepted the trid and kicked it back down the mountain. The Fogre Ogre was obviously deriving much enjoyment from this exercise. The trid was not. The poor little thing was getting bruised from tumbling down the rocky hillside. Nevertheless, the trid started back up the hill in search of dessert. This time the Fogre Ogre kicked as hard as he could. The trid went flying past the foot of the mountain, bounced very hard quite a few times and came to a stop at the feet of a rabbi. The trid sobbed and told the rabbi what had been happening. The rabbi took pity on the trid and carried it back to the mountain. The rabbi knew that the Ogre wouldn't dare touch him. When they got to the top of the hill, the Ogre was sitting with a very nasty look on his face. The rabbi set down the trid and went over to the Ogre. "Fogre Ogre!" exclaimed the rabbi, "I want to speak with you!" The Ogre responded, "Yes, rabbi" as the holy man drew nearer. The rabbi asked the Ogre, "I know that you would never hurt me--so why can't you show this trid the same respect? Why must you persist in kicking it down this hill?" The Fogre Ogre pushed past the rabbi and punted the badly bruised trid back down the hill. Then he turned back to the rabbi and said, "Silly rabbi, kicks are for trids!" Roger Noe