From: utzoo!decvax!duke!harpo!uwvax!reid Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: For vegetarians.. Article-I.D.: uwvax.499 Posted: Fri Jul 23 00:50:33 1982 Received: Sun Jul 25 23:51:28 1982 A guy in a bar has had quite a few drinks, and the bartender decides that he won't serve the guy any more. "Tell you what, bartender," the guy says, "if I can walk up to that dartboard over there and throw three perfect bull's eyes from twice the normal distance, will you serve me then?" Of course the bartender knew the guy couldn't handle it, so he said, "Not only will I serve you, but the drink will be on the house and we'll give you a prize, to boot." Well, the man staggers up to the dartboard and to the amazement of everyone watching, throws three perfect bull's eyes. The bartender is pretty amazed, himself. The guy sits down for his drink and says, "say, what about that prize you offered me?" The bartender hadn't really thought about it, but he noticed the terrarium that had been behind the bar since before he could remember, so he reached in and gave the guy a turtle that was in there. The man stuffed the turtle into his coat pocket, finished his drink, and left. About a week later, the same man comes into the bar again, and the same scenario arises; except that this time he seems to be twice as drunk as the last time. Well, he manages to connive the bartender into the same deal as the previous time, and, sure enough, manages to hit three perfect bull's eyes. The bartender was scrounging to come up with some piece of junk to give the guy as a prize when the man piped up and offered: "I'll tell you what, bartender, how about another roast beef sandwich like last week, but don't put it on such stale bread . . . ." Ugh.