From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!ihps3!ihuxv!aark
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: My attitude towards marriage
Article-I.D.: ihuxv.305
Posted: Thu Sep  9 13:56:43 1982
Received: Fri Sep 10 04:48:17 1982


What is marriage?

Marriage is a relationship in which a man and a woman become one.
As it says in Genesis, "A man leaves his father and mother and
cleaves to his wife, and the two become one."  When a marriage
is broken by divorce, it is not a couple separating back into
two singles, it is a single shattered into two halves.  Marriage
is a relationship established and empowered by God.  The model
God sets for marriage is one of total commitment and love so
great that one is willing to do anything, even die if necessary,
to bring good to the other.  Paul wrote in his letter to the
Ephesians, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church
and gave himself up for it."  Such commitment and love is impossible
unless it is given to me by God.  When two people marry, they must
be able to say, "Lord, our lives are committed to you.  We believe
that you have called us to marry one another and that you will
constantly empower us to give each other the love and commitment
you desire."

Since this is what marriage is, is it any wonder that two trends
in our society are correlated: the loss of personal belief in and
commitment to God, and the increasing incidence of divorce and
casual attitudes towards marriage?  If one is not committed to God, 
then marriage indeed becomes a meaningless social rite, done only
to please relatives, casually entered and exited.

The marriage ceremony is not for the relatives, or the state, or
society.  It is for two people to publicly declare to God, in the
presence of witnesses, that they intend to become and remain one.
The ceremony then becomes a source of strength.  When things get
rough in the marriage, as they surely do, the couple can look back
and say, "Yes, we are married, as we declared publicly to God and
to our friends.  We should therefore not seek to break our marriage,
but rather work out our problems."

I speak this way out of deep personal conviction.  This is how I
view my wife - she is one with me - and our marriage - God called
us together and is constantly empowering and increasing our
commitment and love.  These were also my attitudes when I was
single.  How many of the rest of you feel as I do?

Alan R. Kaminsky
...ihps3!ihuxv!aark