From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!npois!alice!ginny Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: bus Article-I.D.: alice.630 Posted: Wed Jun 9 17:26:22 1982 Received: Thu Jun 10 02:31:47 1982 There was a man who needed a job and since he liked children, he thought he would apply for the position of bus driver with the Board of Education. His application was accepted, and on his first day, his supervisor took him out to the bus to familiarize him with the bus and his route. As they got closer to the bus, the man could not believe his eyes. Parked in the farthest corner of the lot was a bus painted bright yellow. The headlights were big eyes with long eyelashes mounted on the bus, the grill was shaped like a beak, and the bus had feathered wings on the sides. The man said to his boss "I can't drive this thing! It looks ... rediculous!" His supervisor replied "but it makes the children happy, won't you do it for them?" "Well, alright" he agreed, and he was off on his route. At his first stop, when he opened his doors, the plumpest little girl he had ever seen stepped into his bus and said with a big smile "Hi, my name is Patty." "Uh, hi Patty, it's nice to meet you, why don't you go sit in the back of the bus." And they were off to the next stop. At the next stop, another very, very plump little girl got on the bus, and introduced herself with a jolly smile as Patty. "Uh, hi Patty, it's very nice to meet you, why don't you go sit in the back with the other Patty." As the bus driver doubted his job more and more, he drove to his next stop where a very skinny scrawny little boy with buck teeth and a lisp got on the bus. He said to the driver "Hi, my name is Ross, I go to special school so you have to call me 'Special Ross'." Uh, ok 'Special Ross', go ahead and sit in the back. Oh boy, the driver thought, what did I get myself into! Just as the driver was getting discouraged and thinking he would quit, he opened the doors at his last stop and a very nice looking, well groom little boy dressed in a suit entered the bus. "Hi, my name is Steve." "Well hello Steve, it is very nice to meet you. Why don't you sit right here behind me." But as soon as they were on their way, the driver noticed a horrible order reeking through the bus. When he turned around to see what was causing it, he saw Steve with his shoes off, picking his bunions. "That does it! I can't take it any more!" The driver dropped the children off at school, and went right back to his supervisor and said "I QUIT! I can't take this job any more! It's ... it's ... Unamerican!" "Unamerican?" replied his boss. "Why this job is as American as apple pie! Where else but in America can you find ... two obese Patty's, 'Special Ross', little Steve picking bunions on a Sesame Street Bus?"