From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!npois!ucbvax!ARPAVAX:CAD:teklabs!tekmdp!dadla-b!dadla-a!steve
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Title: CBS invasion of East Falkland
Article-I.D.: dadla-a.121
Posted: Mon Jun 14 08:08:30 1982
Received: Wed Jun 16 03:43:49 1982
Reply-To: p!dadla-b!dadla-a!steve

   CBS STAGES LANDING ON EAST FALKLAND

   Washington (AP) - CBS announced today that it has successfully staged an
amphibious landing on East Falkland island.
   "We did it to protect the news rights of the American people." said John
Richardson, military spokesman for CBS news. "Despite continued negotiation
both sides in the conflict had refused to end their cease-reporting, and we
felt that another turn of the screw was necessary."
   The landing took place near Goose Green, where 1400 Argentine troops
surrendered to the British two weeks ago. "It was a marvelous landing,"
said CBS correspondent Connie Chung. "Our boys waded ashore amid incoming
artillery rounds, firing their cameras as they went. When the defending
British troops saw our CBS insignia they withdrew immediately, except for
the commander who came forward under a white flag to offer himself for
interview."
   The CBS force plans to split into two columns. One of the columns will
go north to the original British landing point, while the other column will
head north-east to Stanley.
   There was reported to be another CBS invasion force heading south from
the U.S., possibly to make an invasion of Stanley itself. It is supposed to
arrive in three more days.
   "If the cease-reporting doesn't end by then, we'll bring in Mike Wallace
and give them a real dose of fun," said Richardson.