Originally posted by: utzoo!decvax!ucbvax!sf-lovers
Posted: Sun Dec 26 07:04:44 1982
Received: Mon Dec 27 05:52:58 1982
>From SFL@SRI-CSL Sun Dec 26 06:59:30 1982
Reply-To: SF-LOVERS at SRI-CSL
SF-LOVERS Digest Sunday, 26 Dec 1982 Volume 6 : Issue 117
Misc - MIT archives, review of SFL
Stories - Gauger's The Vacuum-Packed Picnic, Heinlein's All You
T.V. - Lost in Space, Invaders, Star Trek
Movies - SW/TESB/ROTJ
Humor - HHGttN #3
Date: 15 Dec 1982 0511-EST
From: TYG at MIT-OZ at MIT-MC
Subject: New Archives
Coming soon! To a branch of the MIT SF Society (MITSFS) near me!
The hardcopy of the SF-L archives!
Yep, i'm assembling a formatted version of the archives to
be left in the special reserve section of the MITSFS. Based
on my copious spare time :-) i'm projecting that volumes
5 and 6 (Jan through Nov 1982) will be available by this Monday
the 20th, with more to follow assuming the ARPAnet doesn't
self-destruct on Jan. 1. If anyone is interested in FTPing
scribe formatted files of the archives, send mail to me and
i'll let you know when they are complete.
Finally, pseudo-simultaneous with the hardcopying, i'm trying
to create edited versions of the archives, deleting temporal
based info (HHGttG is on at 7pm Tuesday in Nome, Alaska),
near identical submissions, and ordering by subject then date,
as opposed to the archive date then subject. Just imagine;
all the Pac-Man and Raiders puns in one file! I'll notify
the net when these are finished.
Date: 22 Dec 1982 15:36:15 CST (Wednesday)
From: Mike Meyer
Subject: Review of SFL
First, I would like to thank our moderator for putting the SW messages
[nearly] at the end of the list. This makes it easy to interrupt out
Second, I'd like to second (third? nthed?) the notion of creating a
separate list for SW/* - or possibly a more general movie list, to
which all those [*** censored by net, but included three lines of
imaginative exploration of interbeing relationships & family trees
***] AP/UPI bulletins can go. (I will resist the temptation to
suggest a name for that list...)
I mean, none of the SW/movie reviews schlock rightly belongs in a
discussion of Speculative Fiction!
With asbestos ready,
From: Pettit at PARC-MAXC
I can recall a story about a couple "walking" a bubble-tent back
to a moon base after a picnic in the nude, and getting a bad
sunburn in the process. I don't remember the name or author.
This was ``The Vacuum-Packed Picnic'' by Rick Gauger, published in the
September '79 ``OMNI'' (page 94).
Date: 24 December 1982 08:37-EST (Friday)
From: Matthew J Lecin
Subject: sex change (SF-LOVERS Digest V6 #114) (GMeredith.ES at
I think it is obvious you are talking about "All You Zombies" by
Robert Heinlein. This short story can be found in a collection of
stories called "The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag", which I
believe is also known as "6 X H"...
Date: 22 December 1982 01:07-EST
From: Greg Skinner
Subject: SF-LOVERS Digest V6 #105
Does anyone out there possess, or know of, a Lost in Space
In addition, does anyone out there have a listing of all the
Lost in Space episodes?
Date: Friday, 24 December 1982 15:31-EST
From: RP at SCRC-TENEX
Subject: "Invaders" TV series query
I always enjoyed this series and thought the suspense and interest was
maintained despite the predictable plots.
However, I believe that David Vincent does "convince a disbelieving
world that the nightmare has already begun". I can remember several
episodes where others learn the 'truth' and my impression is that
David is successful. Can anyone back me up?
Date: 14 Dec 1982 19:51-PST
Subject: Re: Plot "defect" in City on the Edge of Forever
The problem of the tricorder recordings is easily solved with only a
little imagination. It's true that when McCoy jumps through the
display stops, but does it stop immediately? An extra small fraction
of a second could easily account for the extra year or two of history
recorded. As far as that goes, there is no guarantee that the history
display is strictly linear -- it might track some events for a while
and then "back up" to another major thread in the fabric of history.
A similar idea explains how they got the alternate histories. The
guardian displays not only what the past was but what it might have
been. Only one recording need have been made to have *both*
alternative pasts in it, one with McCoy and one without. (After all,
didn't both "already happen"?) When making the first tricorder
recording, and before McCoy jumped, there are already the images of
both histories within the guardian, even though only one of them
"happened." Didn't the guardian say early on in the episode something
like "what was, what will be, what might have been"?
Date: 24-Dec-82 10:00-PST
From: ZELLICH at OFFICE-3
Subject: Re: Henry Miller's "Kirk, etc"
And, of course, you know that when trying to figure out what "T. J."
stands for, the fen immediately came up with "Tiberius James", right?
Date: 25 December 1982 1717-EST
From: Jim Anderson at CMU-CS-A
Subject: Knit Picking and Weapons
Title this "Annoyed at knit picking." Anyone who knows
ANYTHING about military equipment, especially ships or planes , should
know that it is extremely common to retrofit such equipment with the
latest equipment as it becomes available. The Enterprise is supposed
to be overhauled on a regular basis, allowing installation of newer
equipment, as wellas permitting Star Fleet to correct any design
errors discover since the last overhaul.
Also I agree with -ben- and Vaf on the subject of light
sabers, it is probably the lack of range and the long training time
needed to be proficient with a light saber that keep it from being a
more popular weapon. It is similarto the longbow being outmoded by
the crossbow because the crossbow was easier tolearn. The defensive
abilities of the light saber are probably almost totally useless to
some one who has not had extreme amounts of training in the
mystical/martial arts, such as the Force. On the armor worn by Storm
Troopers I would like to point out that the observation of it being
useless is quite wrong. If you watch closely enough you can see that
only blast which hit at an oblique angle penetrate the armor, with
blasts that hit curved sections being more oftendeflected then blasts
which hit flatter areas such as the chest or back. This type of armor
is probably made of composite materials, like the armor used on many
tanks today. It is probably a lot more efficient, given the superior
tech level of the S.W. galaxy. The armor probably has a lot of extra
features such as atmosphere control and supply(notice the similarity
of the helmet to a modern gas mask),blast and radiation
protection,various sensory improvement and extension devices, as well
as a radio and other assorted goodies. Also keep in mind that these
are "Storm Troopers", the Empires equivelent of the S.S., their
mentality would tend toward armor, even if only for the scare value it
P.s. The light saber is also shown being used to parry blaster shots
in the original Star Wars in the scene on the Milenium Falcon where
Luke is being instructed in the defensive prospects of the extension
of sensory capabilities provided by employing The Force.
Date: 20 Dec 82 20:02:17 EST (Mon)
From: Fred Blonder
Subject: Re: THE OTHER
From: harpo!ihnp4!ixn5c!inuxc!inuxa!claus at Ucb-C70
Have all nine parts of the Star Wars series already been
outlined by George Lucas, or is he just making this up as he
As I understand it: all nine movies exist as at least a one-page draft
which no-one other than Lucas is likely to see unless something nasty
happens which would require someone else to take over.
Date: 19 December 1982 02:22-EST (Sunday)
From: Matthew J Lecin
Just a small trivia point:
in the last episode (7) of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (which
just aired this week in the NYC area) we meet up with the
Did anyone besides me recognize their Captain to be the same actor
(name escapes me at the moment) who played Mr. Deltoid in "A Clockwork
Date: 26 Dec 1982 0630-PST
From: SFL at SRI-CSL
Subject: hh 3
***** sri-unix:net.jokes / grkermit!markm / 12:54 pm Dec 9, 1982
Hitch Hikers Guide To The Net
Episode 3 - The Singularans
(Arnold Lint and the crew of the Infinity are trying to decide what
to do now that they are being faced by the deadly Singularans.)
Xaphod: Oh wow, just when we got past the Flamers, we have to run
into the 'Singles'. The Illogical drive won't work this time.
Rod: No, and neither will evasive actions. They all talk that way!
Gillian: What will we do then?
Arnold Lint: I'll tell you . . . we're all going to die.
Xaphod: Shut your cake-hole!
Martin: I tried to tell you this trip would be a real downer, but
would you listen?
Xaphod: I guess we should see what they want.
(Xaphod switches on the two way video telecommunicator and RadaRange.
The face of the Singularan captain appears on the screen. He is a
normal human wearing a T-shirt which says: "Have you ever really
listened to Manilow?" He is also sporting glow in the dark pants and
10 pounds of silver and gold chains arount his neck.)
Singularan: Hey, like I'm Dirk Thawtphull. We were cruising by and
saw your node. Interested in some meaningful relationships, free
from the moral depravity that otherwise infects the net.
Xaphod: Well, I kind of like depravity.
Rod: Yah, me too.
Dirk: Wow, you'd love our S & M encounter group then, fershure!
Arnold Lint: Your what?
Dirk: S & M encounter group. We get together twice a week and
exchange recipes and beatings.
Arnold Lint: How could a group like that command such a strong
Xaphod: Well, the sudden popularity of Jogging induced widespread
adoption of the principles of Single-ism. The subsequent rise of the
sport of 'Joggering' reduced the numbers of Singularans to normal
size. It appears that they may be making a come back though.
[The "Hitch Hikers Guide to the Net" defines 'Joggering' as a sport
originated in Australia to combat the sudden drop in productivity
caused by having everybody jogging. Australian champion Bruce Karnage
describes the sport: "Well, there is a different way of catching both
male and female joggers. If it's a male, you flush him out into the
open with cigarette smoke, then chase him down in your 4 x 4 Land
Rover. When he's tired, bump him with the fender to stun him
momentarily. Then get out and with your driver pick him up by all
fours and run him head-first into the side of the truck. If it's a
female, bait a likely spot with designer jogging wear and then wait
for a flock to arrive. When one becomes interested, sneak up behind
her, very quietly. Then when you are about two feet away, and you can
see the sun dancing on her richly tanned flesh carressing her well
toned figure into a visual symphony of delight, split her skull with
a handy two-by-four. It's a lovely sport!" The sport later became
known as 'Walkmaning'.]
Rod: We were on our way to Netrothea to pick up some ... uh ...
fuel, yah that's it.
Dirk: Well, we've got plenty of fuel, come on over and we'll let
you have it.
Xaphod: No, it's OK.
Dirk: I insist!
(The Singularan ship lets out a pink and purple polka-dot ray that
engulfs the Infinity. Arnold Lint and company find themselves in a
room on the Singularan ship. It is decorated right out off the floor
of a K-Mart. K-Tel's "Feelings" album is playing "You light up my
existence" in the background, on the ceiling is a gigantic mirror,
and in one corner is a gigantic mood-bean-bag chair.)
Gillian: How awful!
Martin: Actually, I kind of like it, in a depressing sort of way.
Arnold Lint: Where are we.
Dirk: You're aboard the Singularan vessel "Sincerity". You will
remain here until you learn to develop meaningful relationships over
the Net. Meaningful relationships based on honesty, truth, and having
nothing to do with physical appearance. Relationships which will grow
as you and your partner, or partners, share, or don't share, things
you have, or don't have, in common. You will learn how to have
every other sentence include the words 'special' or 'meaningful
Xaphod: If he says "meaningful relationship" once more I'll have to
pray to the porcellan buddha.
Rod: Sickening, isn't it.
Dirk: Right, enough of this. Wait here and we'll start programming
you for meaningful relationships.
(Xaphod bends over a nearby table and vomits, the 12" CRT on his
shoulder starts scrolling "Uuuggghhh")
Gillian: What did you mean about "programming" us?
Dirk: We'll have to make you compatible with the environment and
take away all your inhibitions when discussing your personal life on
the Net. You'll be subjected to countless sessions watching
repeats of "The Dating Game", "The Newlywed Game", and "Celebrity
Wife Swapping". And that's only Stage 1!
[The "Hitch Hikers Guide to the Net" points out that the three old
earth TV shows just mentioned were actually the basis for a huge
inter-conglomerate stock monopolizing sceme started by The Phone
Company. The questions asked on these shows were actually coded
messages issued by The Phone Company to the conglomerates it was
working with. These messages told the associated conglomerates about
which stocks to buy based on information gained by The Phone Company
by listening in on the phones of importanat companies. The client
corporations paid The Phone Company 1 million dollars for each such
message. The seemingly idiotic contestants were, more often than
not, government agents trying to break The Phone Company's code.
Chuck Barris, the originator of the shows, was later found to be a
financial genius, rivaled only by Howard Hughes.]
Rod: We gotta get put of here!
Rod: You know what really gets Singularans put off? Rudeness and
Arnold Lint: What?
Rod: Rudeness, if we act real crude and rude, they'll beg us to leave!
Xaphod: Great, let's try it!
(Dirk returns with three gorgeous women and one well built female
Rod: (To the first girl) Wow, look at that pair!
Xaphod: (To the second girl) That's a lovely grab!
Rod: (To the third girl) OK love, drop 'em!
Martin: (To the female android) I wave my private parts toward
approximate vector coordinates.
Gillian: (To Dirk) Say Dirk, if you get some Saran-Wrap and
chicken wire, I'll get the honey and the plunger.
Dirk: Get out of here you disgusting filthly maladjusted perverts!
(The three women and one andriod exit with great haste. The crew of
the Infinity is beamed back to their node.)
Dirk: Good riddens. Put on the flip side of "Feelings" and pass
the cheese dip. It's their loss, for only we know what true
meaningful relationships are. Only we know the feeling of wholeness
that comes from showing, or not showing, what one feels, or doesn't
feel, with someone special we care about. We aren't hung up on
physical things, we are spiritualists. At least, that's what we tell
Xaphod: Right, now on to Netrothea, nothing can stop us now.
******************** End Of Part 3 ********************
Will the crew of the Infinity reach Netrothea, or will Nothing stop
them? For the answers to this, and other useless questions . . . Tune
in next time . . . same Net-time . . . same Net-channel.
End of SF-LOVERS Digest