I have to thank my friend Stefan Kramperth for this one, he shared it in his stream. I was not aware of this modern parody of Edgar Allen Poe’s classic before, and I almost died laughing. As a heavy internet user and bibliophile who loves Poe almost as much as Lovecraft, I had to share this jewel:

QUOTH THE SERVER „404“
(Author unknown, if you know, let me know…)

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I porn-surfed, weak and weary,
Over many a strange and spurious porn-site of „hot chicks galore“,
While I clicked my fav’rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning,
And my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour,
„Tis not possible,“ I muttered, „give me back my free hardcore!“
Quoth the server, „404.“

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I porn-surfed, weak and weary,
For many a quaint and curious website of X-rated lore,
Found the server nearly napping, http replies a-slacking,
Though my loins were filled with burning, yearning for a teenage whore,
And as I paused awhile in hope that service be restored –
Quoth the server, „404.“

Once upon a night-time dreary, as I web-surfed, red-eyed, weary,
I resisted strange and lurid websites of hot sex galore,
But my curiosity grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
I gave in and clicked the link to see what waited there in store.
And with the clicking, came the ticking, of the page that was no more
Quoth the server, „404“

Once upon a porn-site dreary, where I lingered, red-eyed, bleary,
O’er many a strangely grammared page of Russian girls galore,
Closing popups then cascading, spyware programs now pervading,
Came a sight that set me thinking, linking to hot chicks galore.
„‚Fetch the URL,“ I muttered, but browser stuttered as before –
Quoth the server, „404“