| Mike and Kevin at Exoticon pt. 7 - Insert Clever Subtitle Here [message #168123] |
Wed, 05 November 2008 20:48  |
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Originally posted by: eichlerNOSPAM2
Mike Nelson and Kevin Murphy's Exoticon I presentation, pt. 7
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Kevin: Um, let's go back here...plaid shirt?
AdvBoy: It's a privilege, gentlemen. I'm curious, how often, or
do you go back and watch old episodes, be it seasons eight and nine
or even further back?
Kevin: I have to draw you. Would you come up here? I don't know
whether it's...
Mike [lascivious voice]: I HAVE to draw you!
Kevin: ...it's the shirt...in this light it looks like you're...I
just have to draw you.
Mike: You reacted positively.
Kevin: Do we watch old episodes? Well, obviously not, because I
thought this [pointing at screen where Gumby was shown] was from
season ten...
Mike: Kevin... [imitates Kevin smoking a joint]
[Mike turns to his right and sees a woman about two feet from him
taking his picture:] Aahh!
[lots of laughs, and a woman says "show us your best side"]
Mike: Uh, no, we used to watch the shows. Just after they were made,
we'd sit and have lunch and we'd all watch the shows. And then it
just sort of made us sad and hurt us, so...only occasionally do we go
back and watch them, 'cause it's kinda painful. 'Cause the movies,
actually, they sit in your head, and you forget it. It's like
childbirth, you kinda forget everything about it.
Kevin: Until it happens again.
Mike: Then it's like watching videos of the birth again, so... I
haven't personally gone though it, but I can tell you...
Kevin: Childbirth or watching old episodes?
Mike: Childbirth.
Kevin: I went back the other day, actually. I was at home and I was
throwing out some old video tapes and I went through...I found a copy
of "Jack Frost", in my [crowd cheers "Jack Frost", so I miss a couple
words here. Sounds like "in my (something) of episodes"]. Now that
was fun. I really enjoyed that. It was such an odd movie. And
anything we've ever done that's Russian or Finnish...by Alexander
Tushko (sp?), I think that...I think that in their own way, those
films, the Russian/Finnish films are really beautiful, and they're
really nicely done...they're just from another friggin' PLANET! Too
much reindeer...
Mike: If we don't understand it, they deserve our scorn!
Kevin: That's what it comes down to. I think it's too much reindeer
meat in the diet. I think it has a tendency to do that. OK, next
question again...Mike, pick one.
Mike: Let's move further...on the edge of the isle there, sir. Yeah?
Isle guy: Actually, it's kinda a two part question...
Other audience members: Uh oh. Oh no.
Isle guy: Sorry.
Mike: And a codicil.
Isle guy: It's a small question...
Mike: Oh, good.
Isle guy: Do you ever get to a point where you're watching a movie
and you have to turn it off, it's so bad? You know?
Mike: Watching *any*...? Virtually everything I see, yes. But
that's my tendency....[continues but can't hear it over Kevin's
next comment]
Kevin: The Waterboy. I will not go near a block where that movie
is showing...
Isle guy: The second part is like a small request though, because...I
really enjoyed you guys when I was getting my...parts of my teeth
drilled, I was...I got over-medicated...
Mike: Do you live next to DeVassey Engle? [I have no clue who that
is or how to spell it]. [to Kevin, who was busy drawing] He was
getting his teeth drilled...
Kevin: Is it safe? Can you tell us?
Isle guy: It's a small request though...it was the "Beginning of the
End"...
Mike: Some oil of clove(?), that's what you want? No, I'm sorry,
go ahead, I keep interrupting...
Isle guy: It was the episode "Beginning of the End", had Peter Graves
in it though and, uh, yer...that death [deaf?] guy was walking down
and you said "an indy head penny" [corrects himself] "an
*Indian* head penny". And I was curious, could you just say that
'cause I ended up falling off the chair laughing, had to go back to
the dentist.
Kevin: Wow!
Mike: Can I say "an Indian head penny"?
Isle guy: Yes.
Mike [completely flat and totally devoid of emotion]: An Indian head
penny.
[huge ovation]
Kevin: Does it have the same magic it did at the moment you fell off
the dentist's chair? I'm curious, your dentist shows our show while
drilling people's teeth?
Isle guy: No, no, see, I was, uh, I had just gotten back from the
dentist and he gave me these little red pills and it was just...he
gave me too much...
Kevin: So you were doped up is what you're saying? It's not nearly
as much fun when you're sober, is it?
Mike: Did he have any diplomas framed in his office? Or was this
just "Bob's Dentistry"?
Kevin: Was this Feelgood and Associates? Is that the doctor you
went to see?
Someone in the audience: Dr. Chad Feelgood.
Mike: OK, next question. Sir, right back there.
Sir Right Back There: What do you think of the Hollywood Godzilla
movie, and have you seen the new Gamera movie yet?
Mike: Godzilla, what do we think of it and Gamera, have we seen it?
Kevin?
Kevin: Well, Godzilla, I think that ultimately the cartoon series
will probably be much more successful and better than the movie
ever was.
Guy in the audience: Already is.
Mike: I actually did not see the movie. I'm...not a huge fan.
Woman in the audience: You didn't miss anything.
Kevin: I DID see the movie, and I just, you know, I think there's a
lot of people in Costa Rico that deserve to be pissed off...or in
Honduras who deserve to be pissed off that that movie was made for
700 jillion dollars or whatever it is. There ought to be a board of
taste and appropriateness for people that...have to give the money
back if the movie sucks that bad. Or at least be FINED 200 million
dollars, you know? I think that should be called the James Cameron
law.
[generally agreement and applause]
Mike [looking at Kevin's caricature]: You put him in a Halston
dress. What's that?
Kevin: I don't know. I just HAD to draw you. I just HAD to draw
you.
Mike: No, that's pretty good. That's your...probably your best
one, I think.
[Kevin tears off and displays caricature, audience laughs and
applauds]
Mike: [something I can't make out - maybe "looks like Paul"]
Kevin: You kinda do look like Paul. A little bit. Yeah, yeah.
Uh, Ghost in the Shell [referring to someone wearing a "Ghost in
the Shell" anime t-shirt. Possibly Booga?].
Ghost in the Shell guy: Uh, two quick questions...
Kevin: Anime fan? Excuse me, anime fan?
Ghost in the Shell: Yes. Very much so.
Kevin: I'm sorry. There's medication for that now.
Ghost in the Shell: Hasn't helped. Hasn't helped.
Kevin: Oh. OK.
Ghost in the Shell: Um, number one, have you...
Kevin: What, a two-parter?
Ghost in the Shell: Yeah. Two-parter.
Kevin: We got a bunch of Sam Donaldsons in the audience. OK, I'm
sorry.
Ghost in the Shell: Have you ever considered MSTing "Queen of Outer
Space" or "Zardoz", and is there any news about chances of getting
MST3K in Canada?
Another Canadian in the audience: Yes! [applauds a bit]
Kevin: Ah, that's a good question. "Queen of Outer Space", well,
apparently Barry Schulman thought we had done it already. From the
Sci-Fi channel. He...you know, he *still* doesn't know about that?
That he actually made a gaffe there. I don't know how many people
were at our last convention, but the president of programming for the
network got up and said that the first time he saw our show he
watched us do "Queen of Outer Space", which we had never done. And
luckily, everyone in the audience was very restrained and very
quiet and they didn't yell out LAME-O! Which they could have done
and it probably would have scotched our chances to be on the network,
so it's a good thing... "Queen of Outer Space" is another one of
those that I think is probably a little too renowned, a little too
classic in its own sense for us to do, besides it would be...
Some guy in the audience: Oh, bull! Do it!
Alfred (or someone else from the New Orleans Worst Film Festival):
We've done it!
A woman from NOWFF: Yes, we have. We've done it!
Kevin: I was about to say besides, besides it would be too expensive
for us to get to put on the show.
Mike: And what was the other movie?
Kevin: Zardoz! Man...
Mike: Zardoz! Sean Connery! Brrrr...noyw [that's as close as I can
come to spelling the noise Mike made].
Kevin: I could see it now. I can see Mike in a pony tail wig and a
leather thong...
[crowd cheers enthusiastically]
Mike: I don't know if you can see it now, but you can see it in
about 45 minutes. Let me go to my room and...
Kevin: I mean, that would be nice, but...did you have a fourth or
fifth part to your question?
Ghost in the Shell: MST in Canada.
Kevin: Oh, MST Canada, you know that's an interesting question. The
Sci-Fi channel has always been frustrated by their relationship with
the Canadian equivalent of it and I don't know why we have...we don't
have enough Canadian content in our show, except for that movie we
did with Zap...
Most of the audience, along with Kevin: Rowsdower!
Kevin: ...and I think if anybody, you know, at the national
television board of Canada were to SEE that show, they'd probably
assure that we could never go there because we...what was the lovely
song, one of my favorites...
Audience: Oh yeah! Oh Canada!
Kevin: You bacon loving, francophilic...what was it?
Mike: The salute to Canada? Yeah...
Kevin: You good for nothing, francophilic, bacon-loving bastards.
Your country's just a lousy piece of sh....and then it's cut off.
That's the kind of thing that doesn't do well, you know, in
diplomatic relations. When you say things like that.
Mike: Uh, I think we'll probably have just one more question, right?
(to be continued...)
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