| Mike and Kevin at Exoticon pt. 5 - Shatner Directs [message #168120] |
Mon, 03 November 2008 21:49  |
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Originally posted by: eichlerNOSPAM2
Mike Nelson and Kevin Murphy's Exoticon I presentation, pt. 5
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Kevin: Last caricature, and then we go on to our short. How's that
sound? Wow.
Mike: OK, in the back, with the...
Kevin: With the lack of hair.
[woman with just a single fringe of purple hair on her forehead
comes up]
Mike: With the fringes. What color would you describe that hair as?
Xia: It used to be purple.
Mike: It used to be purple.
Kevin: Would you call that a tonsure?
Xia: I'm not sure...[or she might have repeated "tonsure"]
Kevin: Would you call that a tonsure in the strict monastic sense?
Xia: No, a tonsure goes all the way around your head...
Kevin: Oh, you have like the reverse tonsure because that's where
you usually *don't* have the hair.
Xia: It's a Chelsea.
Kevin: A Chelsea? Like in Chelsea Clinton, who now wears her hair
that way?
Xia: ???? [can't make it out]
Kevin: I, I, yeah, uh...
Mike: I think after the Chelsea Hotel, which burned down several
times...you see, her hair having burned down.
Kevin: I think we have a picture of you BEFORE you cut your hair.
[holds up drawing] Is this about right? And here's a picture of
you...
Woman: There was a lot more of it and it was...[can't hear the
rest, she's not as loud as Loud Joe was]
Kevin: And here's a pre-drawn picture of you after you cut your
hair, before you grew your Chelsea. [holds up bald caricature]
Audience member: Awwwww
Kevin: It's a caricature!!! You people are so...[can't make out
what we're so]. OK, there's just a couple more of these little
notes from the network I tried to get through, but then Joe came
up and we weren't able to...
Mike: What's your name?
Xia: Xia.
Mike: That's important. How do I spell that?
Xia: X-i-a.
Mike: X-i-a.
Kevin: Oh, not like the former prime minister of Pakistan who
spelled his with a 'Z'. You don't have any Pakistani relatives?
Xia: No.
Kevin: That's too bad. [begins reading memo] Memo to everybody at
MST3K, concerning our most recent episode, or one of our most recent
episodes, "The Blood Waters of Dr. Z", we can not use the term
"what's with the net, you dick?" It says 'dick as used here is not
acceptable'. So that does give us some license there. And we had
to change "titty twister". I think it's because we had it "Oh, that
was a bad titty twister, I think I'm bleeding".
[laughs and groans]
Kevin: This is going back a little while, and this is another one of
my favorites right here, and some of these standards have changed as
you'll see, as it says "per standards, 'lick me' is not acceptable".
Well, we finally pushed through "lick me" and we are free to say
"lick me" on our show, and I think...
[audience cheers]
Kevin: I think that's a relevant...[can't make out a couple words
under the cheering]. However, I think I probably agree with most of
the rest of these. "9:42, the pre-teen fondler and coke-vacuum
Kelsey Grammer references are not acceptable as per standards."
Audience: Awwww
Kevin: "And the comment 'go light on the anal probes' is less than
good taste, and too on the nose". I don't know what that means. And
here's just an example of what happens when you work in southern
California, is that you forget that the rest of the world exists.
We had the line "you smell like canned tamales". I think that's
pretty good, especially in the proper context: Mike was all dirty
and greasy and he sometimes DOES smell like canned tamales. And
it says, here's the comment we got: "Except for the mid-west, most
of the farmers that people think of are Hispanic, therefore, this
could be a derogatory statement towards them".
Audience: What?!?
Kevin: Now is this true? Do everybody think...when they think
farmers equals Hispanic?
Audience: No.
Kevin: You see, when you're from southern California, you
immediately think that everybody who drives a truck or picks a
cabbage is a farm worker and in here illegally, because of...well,
that's just a little anger that boils over the top. [grabs another
memo to break the awkward feeling that has built up] Oh, we read
that one already. [picks a different one] Oh, this is another one
of my favorites. At the bottom of the page: "'Mike covers his mouth
to stifle a spray of vomit'. Please act this, but we do not want to
SEE the spray of vomit coming out of Mike's mouth". That's one of
my favorites. And this is one you'll see coming up in...you
know, this *was* in "Devil Fish". Did you guys see "Devil Fish"?
Audience: Yeah!
Kevin: There was one shot where the guy was going down the stairs?
You could see one of his...well, I'll just read the comment:
"Page 12 - the testicle shot is staying in, but you need to use a
solid black dot to cover it completely the entire time". We didn't
do that. We just sent it in as-is, and I believe the network put
a little black dot over the... He actually did hang one out.
Woman in audience: Follow the bouncing ball!
Mike [as Kevin looks at his caricature]: I'm exaggerating just one
feature.
Kevin: You are GROSSLY exaggerating one feature, my friend.
Mike: That's all I know.
Kevin: The body looks like it's constructed out of corn flakes.
Mike [looking at Xia]: Oh God, I thought you were. I'm sorry.
Kevin: You're not made out of corn flakes, are you?
Xia: Not that I've noticed.
Kevin: Are you here for the...you're here for the Stevie Nicks
look-alike contest? It's a joke!
Mike: Now you shaved your head to that point, right? You didn't get
ahold of some bad shellfish or something?
Xia: Right.
Mike: Well, I just had to ask, because once I made fun of a guy at
a comic book convention. It was the middle of the night and he was
wearing the darkest of glasses. I made some joke about, you know,
his glasses and he said "Oh, thanks a lot fucker, I'm blind."
[at this point my tape ran out and I had to flip it. I think I
remember Mike getting big laughs for the blind comment, and then
Kevin asking Xia if that was rer real, given name. She said she
had changed it to Xia...]
Kevin: ...name you gave yourself? That is a given name then,
absolutely.
Mike: Yes.
Kevin: Well, thank you for playing our game, Xia. You've won
cash and prizes worth over $3000. Let's give her a hand.
[audience gives her a big hand]
Mike [struggling to turn caricature around]: This'll need some
explanation, come on up here...
[Mike displays caricature with huge thumbs]
Mike: Is that you?!? I've exaggerated your thumbs. Thank you very
much.
Kevin: Inspired by [something I can't make out at all], yes indeed.
[It would have been fitting if he had said "inspired by the secretary
in 'Agent From HARM'", but I don't think that's what he said] Um,
why don't we spool up this short feature we have here, and we'll all
enjoy a bit of Gumby. It's called "Robot Rumpus", please watch
carefully.
Audience member: We have movie sign!
[there's some general mayhem, during which someone informs Kevin that
"Robot Rumpus" has already been broadcast]
Kevin: Oh, Rumpus was done?
Audience: Yeah. It was in 912.
["Robot Rumpus" short starts]
Kevin: Everyone has seen this?
Various audience members: Yes!!!! But it's good! We'll watch it
again!
Kevin [whispered]: I brought the wrong short. Sorry.
[Short is played to much enjoyment. I'm not gonna transcribe it,
just get your tape out and watch it]
Kevin: That was indeed Gumby, "Robot Rumpus", and that was also
indeed my error. I had completely forgotten that this one aired
because at the end of last season I was kinda...sick...and, I had uh,
a horrible, horrible lapse of memory...
Audience: Awwwww
Kevin: Well, and this is frankly what I looked like at the end of
the season last season, this explains a lot... [holds up caricature
of a horrible looking guy with horns] The horns developing out of
my head were probably the biggest problem of all.
Mike: And I've drawn a self-portrait of me when I'm finally done
doing Mystery Science Theater 3000, here we go... [holds up caricature
of an ancient looking man]. [old man voice] Crooow! Now cut that
out, Crow. Gob daba dad. [gibberish]
Someone in audience: We can hold out!
(to be continued...)
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