| Mike and Kevin at Exoticon, pt. 4 - Caricatures on Patrol [message #168014] |
Sun, 02 November 2008 09:51  |
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Originally posted by: eichlerNOSPAM2
Mike Nelson and Kevin Murphy's Exoticon I presentation, pt. 4
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Kevin: And so, um...before we get to Q&A we're gonna have a
couple more delightful things, and after this caricature...well
we may have to draw a few more caricatures because we're having
a lot of fun. I don't know about you folks but...
One audience member: Woo!
Another audience member: Yeah!
Kevin: We also have a rare short, I think I told you, it's a
Gumby short.
Audience member (Jello?): Gumby!
Kevin: I think we're going to start to get a few more short
subjects back into the show again.
[cheers and applause]
Kevin: As a matter of fact, the tape that we did of short subjects
has turned out to be one of our more popular selling tapes from
Rhino records.
Loud Joe in the audience stands up and says "I..."
Kevin: This isn't the question and answer time yet Joe.
Loud Joe: No, I have a short, if you'd like to run it...
Audience member: Oh no.
Loud Joe: It's in 16 millimeter. I have a 15 minute short on the
care and operation of the Kodak AV126 projector...
Kevin: Are you sure this isn't a snuff film, Joe?
Loud Joe: It's about how to operate a movie projector but you have
to be able to run the film to be able to know how to run the
projector...
Kevin: Thank you Joe...
Loud Joe: ...'cause if you don't...
Kevin, trying to get a word in edgewise: Thank...thank...thank you
Joe...thank you Joe...
Mike: The drive-through hurricane booth was your first stop, wasn't
it?
Kevin: That's right.
Loud Joe: ...have a history of...
Kevin: Joe was on his way here when a state trooper pulled him over
and said "y'all have a drink?" He said "no", and they said
"Well, where's your drink son? You're driving down the highway in
Louisiana and you don't have a drink in your hand? I want you to
direct your vehicle over to the nearest liquor store drive-through
window and get yourself a hurricane in your hand and get back on the
road, OK?" They checked his ID to make sure he was over 21, so he
could defend himself in case...you are over 21, aren't you?
Loud Joe: Yes...[continues on about something]
Kevin: Why are we talking about you? [points at Average Joe] He's
the one we're doing the caricature of...
Average Joe [laughing]: Shut up!
Kevin: There we go. Are there any more...there was a couple more of
these memos...I wanted to work through the rest of these because these
are really delightful.
Mike: Hang on though, we're ready for Joe.
Kevin: Oh.
Mike: You know how you're supposed to exaggerate one feature? That's
all I know about caricature... [starts ripping page off pad]
Loud Joe: Don't tear it!
Kevin: Stand up here Joe. [shows caricature]
[audience laughs and applauds drawing of Average Joe with a
super-sized hat]
Kevin: Certainly exaggerated one feature.
Mike: Thank you, Joe.
Kevin: OK, other Joe, get yer ass up here.
[audience groans]
Kevin: Everyone's booing Joe, what, has he got a reputation here?
Audience: Yes!
Kevin: OK, Joe?
Loud Joe: What?
Kevin: We will do your caricature if you don't say *anything*. I
think, actually Joe, that we've actually pre-caricatured you here.
Is that you? [holds up really nasty looking caricature]. Is that
Joe? Does that look like Joe, to everybody? A young Joe? No wait,
this is Joe, here...
Mike: Here we go.
Kevin: This is one that Mike drew. [holds up even nastier
caricature] Isn't that kinda sad? This is the sad one. We started
doing these...[something I can't quite make out - doing these a
little fast (?)]
Mike: Read the caption.
Kevin: The caption says: I used to watch you with my brother before
he died.
[audience laughs, groans and says "awwwwww"]
Mike: It's fun! Come on!
Kevin: It's a caricature!
Mike: It's his BROTHER'S death, it's fun!
Kevin: It's a caricature!
Loud Joe: [something I can't make out]
Kevin: Joe? What did I tell you? OK? Mike, can you take the
microphone for a moment? I'm not going to ask Joe entertaining
questions because he'll just take too damn long to answer them.
Mike: Joe, you have special dispensation to speak with me. OK?
Loud Joe: OK.
Mike: OK, what do you do for a living, Joe?
Loud Joe: I'm a stagehand.
Mike: Stagehand?
Loud Joe: Yes.
Mike: OK, where? With who?
Loud Joe: With the international alliance of theatrical and stage
employees, local 39 New Orleans, and before that I was a motion
picture projectionist.
Mike: Uh huh.
Loud Joe: I work with Alfred at the New Orleans Worst Film Festival.
Kevin: You HAD to ask him a question.
Loud Joe: With eight...[something else I can't make out. Loud Joe
didn't have a microphone.]
Mike: How many teamsters have you buried?
[audience laughs]
Loud Joe: None, but I'd like to bury a few carpenters. But that's
a different story.
Mike: What's your problem with carpenters?
Loud Joe: They took some jobs away from us down at the convention
center.
Mike: My mother was a carpenter.
[big laughs]
Loud Joe: No, these are from New Orleans, it's a different story...
Mike: No, she WAS a New Orleans carpenter.
[audience laughs]
Mike [standing and fully belligerent now]: You think that's FUNNY?
[audience roars]
Kevin: Mike, Mike, Mike honey...
Mike [whiney, imitative voice]: Eww, carpenters *suck*. [regular
but still angry voice] STAGEHANDS suck! What would you think if I
said that?
[Loud Joe tries to explain himself as laughter slowly dies down]
Mike: Just kidding, Joe.
Kevin: Yes, it's his job to kid.
Mike: My mother was a stagehand too. You been doing that for a lot
of years?
Loud Joe: Off and on for about 12, 13 years.
Kevin: And how long have you had this particular puffy hat?
Loud Joe: I got this hat in Baltimore at the World Science Fiction
convention.
Kevin: So, you do a lot of these science fiction conventions?
Loud Joe: I've done...I've been doing science fiction conventions
for 25 years here in New Orleans, so...[something else I can't make
out]
Mike: Do you think this has shaped your life in a GOOD way?
[audience laughs]
Loud Joe: Well...I mean, like, I think it has definitely changed me
in some ways...
[Mike and Kevin laugh]
Loud Joe: But I don't mean...I mean whether that's good or not, I
mean, you know. Some people would say...normal people would say
he's a hopeless case, just cart me off to the rubber room and lock
me up with Ed Sullivan...
Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Kevin: That was my next question...
Mike: I can see where that would come up.
Loud Joe: That's what they used to call...in the 50s, I watched Ed
Sullivan, he had his hands, his arms underneath his armpits...
Kevin: He was constantly under heavy sedation. That's true.
Loud Joe [who had continued talking under Kevin, but now abruptly
changed topics]: Ed was in heavy sedation.
Kevin: I knew Ed personally, he was a psychopath, he was on a heavy
dose of thorozine.
Loud Joe: Now people in fandom would consider me the epitomy of
fandom, you know. It's like "he's really cool" 'cause he's a fan,
but if you're in the mundane world, it's just...they go away from
you, they stay away from you.
Mike: Yeah, I can see that as well, actually.
Loud Joe: "Isn't he a wonderful person?" "Yes he his son, don't
go near him".
Mike: I can personally attest to everything you're saying.
Kevin: They said that about John Wayne Gacey (sp?) and they were
totally wrong. Because he was a great artist! You've seen his
clown drawings...
Mike: People forget he was a really good clown. That's the
thing...
Audience member: There are no good clowns.
Kevin: There are no bad clowns. There are only good clowns and
dead clowns. Isn't that how it goes? I'm almost done with Joe
here...
Mike [looking at Kevin's caricature]: It has sort of a Bob Denver
hybridization here.
Audience member: Before or after the crash?
Kevin: Wow. Boy, no, *we're* supposed to say the cruel things
like that. He just said "So he's on fire", because of the Bob
Denver thing.
Audience: Ohhhh
Kevin: We don't...we don't...That's just...
Mike: You sad, sick bastard.
[Loud Joe continues talking even though no one is listening to him]
Kevin: Let's get this right, John Denver is the one who died, Bob
Denver is the one who smokes dope. [looks at the guy in the audience
who made the "on fire" comment] Like YOU, my friend...
Loud Joe: A lot of people who smoke dope don't remember that...
Kevin: Joe? [gives him a "be quiet" look]
Mike: Joe?
Loud Joe: Sorry, Mike.
Mike: Joe, are you in toastmasters at all? Toastmasters? You seem
to have an affinity for speaking in front of people.
Kevin: I think he may be the Toastmaster General.
[audience boos, Loud Joe continues talking]
Kevin [glaring at audience]: What are you booing me for?!?! I'm
sorry Joe, I interrupted you.
[audience laughs and applauds]
Kevin: OK, here we go. I'm putting your hands behind you because
I'm not good at drawing hands, and it also means I'm insecure. At
least according to the art therapist I know. OK.
[Loud Joe continues talking as Kevin starts writing the caption for
his caricature]
Kevin: Hey...Joe...
Several people in audience: ...where you going with that gun...
Kevin: Who..a...won..a..second...world...war.....you...so...smart?
From the Firesign Theater, ladies and gentlemen. Hey-a Joe, who
won-a second world war, you so smart? It wasn't me...it was Firesign
Theater. Stand up here Joe, take your punishment...
[Kevin displays caricature, audience applauds]
Kevin: There you go, thank you very much.
Mike: What the hell was that, Kevin?
Kevin: It was a CARICATURE.
Mike: OK. Uh...
(to be continued...)
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