Message-ID: <687@topaz.ARPA>
Date: Mon, 18-Feb-85 20:19:31 EST
Article-I.D.: topaz.687
Posted: Mon Feb 18 20:19:31 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 21-Feb-85 04:56:37 EST
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From: Steve Dennett 


All this talk about bad SF films has reminded me of three films I saw
(and thankfully, quickly forgot.)  Two of them I can't remember the
titles for, but if anyone else saw them, perhaps they'll remember.

1. "The Final Programme", based on one of Michael Moorcock's Jerry
    Cornelius books.  Civilization is breaking down; the only way
    to save it is for Jerry to evolve into homo sapien's successor.
    He does by entering a machine which fuses him with a woman into
    a hermaphroditic creature that resembles a cave-person in drag.

2.  "Triad(???)", was a big budget film, starring (I believe) Paul
    Neuman.  Set in a future ice age, people were having trouble
    breeding and were plagued by random violence.  Neuman was some
    sort of hunter/trapper.  Also, there were lots of Rottweiler dogs
    running around in the snow.  Weird and very boring.

3.  Title Unremembered - This one came out about the same time as
    "Battle Beyond the Stars."  It was sort of an ALIEN ripoff; a
    space ship lands on a planet to retrive a crystal (or something).
    The crew must make there way into a huge pyramid/mountain.  In
    the caverns they meet their worst fears come alive (i.e., the woman
    who has claustrophobia is crushed in a palpitating cavern).  Worst
    scene: another of the women is killed by her worst fear; she is
    raped by a giant snail (I kid you not) that slimes off her clothes
    (for a flash of bare flesh to wake the audience), and dies moaning.
    Blech!

   Steve Dennett
   (hooked on awful sf films)

-------

Message-ID: <487@ahuta.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 20-Feb-85 23:35:51 EST
Article-I.D.: ahuta.487
Posted: Wed Feb 20 23:35:51 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 22-Feb-85 20:56:33 EST
References: <687@topaz.ARPA>
Organization: AT&T Information Systems Labs, Holmdel NJ
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REFERENCES:  <687@topaz.ARPA>

 >From: Steve Dennett 
 >
 >
 >All this talk about bad SF films has reminded me of three films I saw
 >(and thankfully, quickly forgot.)  Two of them I can't remember the
 >titles for, but if anyone else saw them, perhaps they'll remember.
 >
 >1. "The Final Programme", based on one of Michael Moorcock's Jerry
 >    Cornelius books.  

This was known in the US as LAST DAYS OF MAN ON EARTH and as THE FINAL
PROGRAMME in the UK.

 >
 >2.  "Triad(???)", was a big budget film, starring (I believe) Paul
 >    Neuman.

This was Robert Altman's QUINTET, starring Paul Newman.

 >
 >3.  Title Unremembered - This one came out about the same time as
 >    "Battle Beyond the Stars."  It was sort of an ALIEN ripoff; a
 >    space ship lands on a planet to retrive a crystal (or something).
 >    The crew must make there way into a huge pyramid/mountain.  In
 >    the caverns they meet their worst fears come alive (i.e., the woman
 >    who has claustrophobia is crushed in a palpitating cavern).  Worst
 >    scene: another of the women is killed by her worst fear; she is
 >    raped by a giant snail (I kid you not) that slimes off her clothes
 >    (for a flash of bare flesh to wake the audience), and dies moaning.

 Best known as GALAXY OF TERROR but also released under the titles
 MINDWARP: AN INFINITY OF TERROR and PLANET OF HORRORS.  It was made by
 New World Pictures in 1981, the same folks who made BATTLE BEYOND THE
 STARS the previous year.
				Mark Leeper
				...ihnp4!ahuta!leeper

Message-ID: <728@homxa.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 21-Feb-85 15:02:19 EST
Article-I.D.: homxa.728
Posted: Thu Feb 21 15:02:19 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 26-Feb-85 04:22:24 EST
References: <687@topaz.ARPA>
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ
Lines: 6

It wasn't a large snail...it was a maggot....and you forgot about Erin Moran
(happy days) being squeezed until she burst by wires or cords.
Let me know if I left anything out......

                                            Tom