Message-ID: <537@topaz.ARPA>
Date: Wed, 6-Feb-85 16:14:09 EST
Article-I.D.: topaz.537
Posted: Wed Feb  6 16:14:09 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 8-Feb-85 01:19:45 EST
Sender: daemon@topaz.ARPA
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.
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From: Robert.Zimmermann@cmu-ee-faraday


    While I agree that 'Plan 9' and other Wood specials are terrible;
that is really excusable because they were grade-C pictures.  When they
were made, the standard theatres showed newsreels, cartoons,
one-reelers, a serial or two, and the featured film.  These (grade-C)
movies were just used as fillers, and nobody took them seriously.

    Now, my nomination for the Worst SF movie of all time is (drum roll) ...
'The Final Countdown'.  A movie which gives new meaning to the word 'pointless'.
A modern day aircraft carrier is transported (deus ex machina) to the day
before the attack on Pearl Harbor.  The entire movie is spent deciding whether
to believe what has happened, and then deciding what to do about it.  Finally,
when they decide to stop the attack they are (deus ex machina) transported
back to the present.  An all-star cast!  A huge budget!  A moron writer!
Come to think of it, that describes 'Dune' rather nicely.

    By the way, 'Quark' was not bad SF, but very good satire.  Each episode
spoofed a different SF cliche.  There was the StarWars epsiode with a talking
(and very fallible) SOURCE (played by Hans Conreid).  There was the Ultimate
Computer episode which forced Cmdr. Quark to enter the ship through the
space-baggie door, and ended with the disconnected computer tumbling through
space to the tune of the Blue Danube.  My favorite episode had a scene where
Ficus Ponderata was 'cross-polinating' with the daughter of the evil Emporer:
they were lying on their backs with their limbs in the air, calling the bee!

Robert Zimmermann (raz@cmu-ee-faraday)

'Ficus... I ... I ... I think I can feel the bee coming ...'