Message-ID: <1033@druri.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 21-Jan-85 17:03:33 EST
Article-I.D.: druri.1033
Posted: Mon Jan 21 17:03:33 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 22-Jan-85 06:19:11 EST
References: <297@topaz.ARPA>
Organization: AT&T Information Systems Laboratories, Denver
Lines: 33

Does anyone remember "Trog", starring Joan "Wire Coathangers!" Crawford?
Talk about baaaaad - ugh! I usually *like* bad SF movies, but I could
barely get through this one. Marvelous. Mommie Dearest plays a scientist
in England when some caveman starts to terrorize the local populace, she
tries to make everyone see reason (I love irony), the caveman finally
comes out of his cave and tears apart what must probably be the most
stupid cameraman in the world... Then they capture him and try to teach
him to talk, but some bad guys let him loose and he goes on a very tacky
tour of the local hotspots... Sigh. They just don't make 'em like
they used to.

And talk about horrible costumes! The Troglodyte was a normal person
except for this really cheap gorilla-type mask like you can buy in
any Safeway or Target during Halloween for 20 bucks, and a little 
fake hair pasted onto his arm (which came off at one point when he
was sticking his hands through the bars of his cage).

Sample dialog (which is what *really* made this movie what it is):

Joan - "What you have here is a living example of our ancestors -
        in short, this.. is... Trog!" ("Trog" pronounced "Trog-GUH")

Bad guy to other bad guy - "Sure, you're a man of science - but how
        do you feel, spending your career working for a *woman*?"

Trog - "Unnnngh!"

It's movies like this which answer the eternal question - "What did
they do with washed-up has-been ex-stars before 'Love Boat'?"

Davis Tucker
AT&T Information Systems
Denver, CO

Message-ID: <102@ihlpm.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 22-Jan-85 12:57:28 EST
Article-I.D.: ihlpm.102
Posted: Tue Jan 22 12:57:28 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 23-Jan-85 07:14:40 EST
References: <297@topaz.ARPA> <1033@druri.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories
Lines: 17

> Does anyone remember "Trog", starring Joan "Wire Coathangers!" Crawford?
> Talk about baaaaad - ugh! I usually *like* bad SF movies, but I could
> barely get through this one. 

The whole point to "Trog" was its awfulness.  It's supposed to make you
laugh, not throw up, and sometimes it succeeds.  On the same note, a
more recent release, "Swamp Thing" accomplishes the same effect.

I remember seeing a movie I think was called "Schlock" that was
a more deliberate attempt at humor in the "bad monster movies"
genre.  Another called "Alligator" is one I can't quite figure out,
was it satire, or just unintentional humor?

Now, what I'd like to see is Woody Allen doing to "Godzilla" what
he did in "What's Up, Tiger Lily?"

		Bob Fishell

Message-ID: <1324@orca.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 23-Jan-85 14:09:37 EST
Article-I.D.: orca.1324
Posted: Wed Jan 23 14:09:37 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 25-Jan-85 05:18:54 EST
References: <297@topaz.ARPA> <1033@druri.UUCP>
Reply-To: davidl@orca.UUCP (David Levine)
Organization: Tektronix, Wilsonville OR
Lines: 26
Summary: 

Let us not forget John ("See You Next Wednesday") Landis' homage/parody to
"Trog", called "Schlock."  "Schlock" was the Schlockanthropus, played (as I
recall) by Rick Baker, later to portray Dino De Laurentiis' King Kong and
many other great apes before graduating to make-up professional.

"Schlock" has basically the same plot as "Trog," except that it's played for
laughs.  At the beginning of the film, a scientist (wearing a protective helmet
made of a piece of air-conditioner duct) is descending into Schlock's cave on a
rope when Schlock appears from another cave entrance.  The workman holding the
rope naturally lets go, sending the scientist plummeting into the hole, never
to be seen again.  The movie is full of "Ariplane"-style humor.

In the end, the Schlockanthropus is killed by a line-up of National Guardsmen 
reminscent of the line-up at Kent State.  The last scene (after the credits) 
shows the scientist finally crawling out of the cave with a baby
Schlockanthropus, promising a "Son of Schlock" (which, unfortunately, never
materialized).

This little film came out years and years ago, and it seems to have vanished
without a trace.  Perhaps memory has made it seem better than it actually was.
The last time I saw anything to do with it was a poster at the theatre at the
beginning of Michael Jackson's "Thriller," along with posters from all of
Landis' other films.

David D. Levine  (...decvax!tektronix!orca!davidl)          [UUCP]
                 (orca!davidl.tektronix@csnet-relay.csnet)  [ARPA]