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re:Why the Rebel have problems [message #52059] Wed, 01 May 2013 14:31
tmh is currently offline  tmh
Messages: 3
Registered: May 2013
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Message-ID: <1670@ihldt.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 13-Jun-83 09:44:31 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihldt.1670
Posted: Mon Jun 13 09:44:31 1983
Date-Received: Wed, 15-Jun-83 10:53:24 EDT
Organization: BTL Naperville, Il.
Lines: 45

I just went to see The Return of the Jedi this weekend
and it just struck me that the rebels have real problems.
For one thing it seems that the qualification for being
a rebel general is a past history of criminal behavior
i.e. Han who is a self confessed smuggler and Lando who
is a gambler and runs an illicit mining operation are
promoted almost as fast as they join up. Second it seems
that there is a general for every forty or fifty
soldiers (meaning that there are 2-3 colonels, 4-6
majors, 8-12 captains, 10-15 lieutenents, 10-15 sargents
and one enlisted man, who has to do all the work, in
each rebel unit).  Notice that the last living Jedi
Knight(Darth doesn't count for this) who personally has
saved the rebelion from anileation by destroying the
death star, who led the expedition to save a key figure
of the rebelion from certain death when she was trapped
inside the death star, who is unblemished criminaly and
in support of the rebelion with his heart and soul is
only a commander.  Princess Leia who is a member of the
Imperial Senate(the last check on the Emporer's power),
responsible for getting the Death Star plans to the
rebelion so it can be destroied, who is a princess, of 
high repute and a mainstay of the rebelion takes orders
from generals (i.e. is not one herself).  It's a shame
Jabba the Hutt died if he had joined the rebels he would
have commanded the Rebel forces for sure and probably
gone on to become the father of thier galaxy (hopefully
not in a literal sense).
Of course the Imperial forces are not in such great
shape either.  Well lets burn the brother of the
Emporer's right hand man over a couple of droids.  Lets
use three aircraft carriers to chase one small motor
boat and better yet lets make two of them crash while
doing so and let the motor boat escape while we do. 
What's that Lord Vader, you say you need another set of
admirals because the ones you have are all used up.
Yes, uhm Yes sir, but that's the forth set this week and
admirals don't grow on trees.  Yes Lord Vater I'll see
what I can do.  OMIGOD! a fighter hit the bridge of the
ship and were being pulled into that planet our only
chance is to dock with the death star!  What do you mean
the docking facilities weren't completed?! OOOPs...

				Well that's entertainment,
					Tom Harris
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