| New Sonic MSTing - Where the Streets Have No Name [message #181629] |
Fri, 24 December 2010 10:15  |
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Originally posted by: foxtrax
Original fanfic written by Gojira007. Can be found here.
http://gojira007.deviantart.com/art/Where-The-Streets-Have-N o-Name-98628935
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> How many times had they done this? How many times had Sally rested in Sonic's arms as laser fire and the breeze blew to and fro around them?
Tails: Way too fuckin' much, in my opinion.
> The Princess had long since lost count, though she was willing to bet that Sonic had kept the tally in his mind.
Sonic: Because apparently I have nothing better to do with my life.
> "Hey, Sal!" he called to her suddenly, taking a sharp turn down the dark alleyways of Robotropolis, the SWATBots and hovercrafts still in hot pursuit. "I'm hopin' you managed to plant that bomb of ours in the right place for all the trouble we're getting in tryin' to juice out of here!"
Knuckles: Who the hell talks like this?
Tails: I hope you enjoyed that grating bit of exposition for all the
trouble we got of hiring a crappy writer.
> "Done and done!" she answered, closing her eyes as the hedgehog narrowly avoided running straight into a wall. "In one minute, Robotnik's going to have to watch his Bio-Weapons Development center go up in smoke!"
Sonic: Oh, great. We're dealing with Bleeding Heart activists here.
> Leaping and bounding over the heaps of scrap that came into his path...
Knuckles: Able to leap over heaps of scrap in a single bound!
> Sonic searched through the shadows and steel for an escape route. It was often hard to tell where exactly in Robotropolis he was; it all looked the same to him, and the Blue Blur rarely paid much attention to small details anyway.
Tails: You can imagine why he has yet to overthrow Robotnik.
> So when a partially opened manhole presented itself to him...
Sonic: Hi, my name is Open Manhole. Can I help you with a cliched
escape?
> Sonic chose it as their ride home instantly. "See you losers around!" he called back to his pursuers before sliding through the opening, Sally's surprised screams echoing down, down, down into the sewers.
Knuckles: [author] Oh, wait, that echo was me, me, me...
> With a splash, the pair landed in the most unappealing sludge either could have possibly imagined.
Tails: My God, it's a lake of Hunt's catsup!
> It was far from an unfamiliar situation, Sally thought sadly; much like running away from danger, heading into Robotropolis' vile sewer system was another activity she engaged in with regularity.
Sonic: Hey, here's a tip. Why don't you TRY A DIFFERENT PLAN FOR A
CHANGE?! Anything?...No?...Fine.
> "A LITTLE warning next time?" she grumbled, shaking the muck out of her hair.
> Like a child with his hand in the cookie jar, Sonic grinned cheekily. "Heh heh…c'mon, Sal, when have I EVER been one for warnings?"
Knuckles: [Sonic] I like bringing my best friends into harm's way!
Gives my job an edge.
> The Princess simply sighed in frustration.
Tails: We're with ya, gal.
Sonic: Yeah...wait, WHAT?!
Knuckles: Do you realize what you just said?!
Tails: ...Oh, my God. I just sided with the annoying bitch.
> "It's not the worst habit to pick up." She replied, looking around in an attempt to determine which way they should start moving in.
Sonic: Wait...didn't she say she's been in the sewer system countless
times?
Knuckles: CURSE YOU, SHORT-TERM MEMORY!
> Normally, the hedgehog would have sped them off to their destination, but until the pair knew their exact location, even HE was not impatient enough to risk getting lost in the ever-dangerous Robotropolis sewers.
Tails: Sonic's caught it too? Holy hell, we're in hell. It finally
happened.
> So they trudged through the sewage, looking for familiar landmarks or clues as to where exactly they were. And they trudged. And trudged. And trudged.
Knuckles: INTENSE! TRUDGING! ACTION!
> Eventually, the stream of sewage let off into a disposal area, but the pair was no closer to finding their way home.
Sonic: [Sally] I knew we should've asked that nice mutated alligator
for directions!
> After a time, Sonic was practically ready to jump out of his skin with pent-up energy. "Oh man, Sal, I hope we figure out where we're going SOON…" he grumbled, "'cuz I'm startin' to go just a wee bit STIR-CRAZY!"
Tails: Oh crap, he's gonna go postal! DUCK!
> At that last remark, he stomped one foot to the ground just to relieve some of his adrenaline, only to feel the rusted metal give way under his foot..
ALL: PHYSICS!!!
> “SONIC!” Sally shouted, whirling around instantly as the hedgehog fell.
> For a brief, horrible moment, the Princess feared she had lost him forever as he vanished into that hole. Yet mercifully that moment passed quickly when she heard a pained but light grunt of “Oof!” from below, followed by a wobbly declaration of, “I’m OK…”
Knuckles: [Sonic] My ribs just cracked in twelve places, but I'll
be...ow...okay.
> Down below, Sonic was feeling a bit more sore from his fall than he was about to let Sally know, but he was sincere in saying he was, overall, still good. Yet he slowly realized that the dimly-lit area around him was…different.
Sonic: [himself] It says, "Deep 13"...wonder what the hell that
means...
> Clearly, this place had been abandoned for some time; what wasn’t covered in muck, rust, and moss was wrapped up in cobwebs.
Tails: Which makes sense considering that MST3K's been cancelled for
eleven years now.
> All those layers of aging, however, served to hide strange-looking objects…pots and statues, from the look of them, unlike anything Sonic had ever seen before. Eyeing the items curiously, he knew just who would want to take a look for herself.
Knuckles: Summon Leela from Futurama!
> “Hey Sal!” he called up to the squirrel. “There’s something down here I think you’ll wanna see!”
Sonic: [himself] It's a memorial to someone who can cook better than
you!
> Before long, Sonic had tossed a rope from his backpack up to Sally, who tied it up good and tight before climbing down.
Tails: I'd say "that's what she said" here, but that would be too
obvious.
> As soon as her boots touched the ground, the squirrel’s eyes went wide. “Oh…oh my Gosh…” she whispered reverently, staring at the incredible relics they’d stumbled upon.
Knuckles: My God, GOOD Sonic the Hedgehog comics!
> “Yeah, somehow I figured you’d be impressed by all this old junk.” Sonic teased, though he was secretly glad to see her so enthusiastic.
Sonic: Because he was shooting images for Playboy.
> Moving about the underground chamber, Sally looked over each individual piece with absolute awe. Sifting through the filth that covered it...
Tails: Speaking of filth...
> ...she lifted one urn in particular. Shaped like a small bell, its color faded away but still a shade of orange-brown, the urn was covered in strange markings. To Sonic, it was just chicken-scratch, but Sally recognized the text instantly.
Knuckles: You see, she was a chicken in a previous life.
Sonic: PREVIOUS life? How about this life?
Knuckles: Well...[beat]...fine. You want a fuckin' cookie?
Sonic: Yes.
Knuckles: All right, they're in the cupboard in the living room.
> “These…these are MANDARRA artifacts, Sonic!” she said breathlessly, fingers tracing along the symbols.
> The hedgehog cocked his eyebrow. “Mandarra? You mean that ancient buncha Giant Mystic weirdos you’ve been studyin’ so much lately?” he asked disbelievingly.
Tails: I hear they're looking for a virgin to sacrifice.
Sonic: Well, there ain't no virgins in this fandom. Try Sonic
Underground.
> “The same!” Sally answered, whipping Nichole out with gusto.
Knuckles: NicHole! The new, improved Nicole! With many new features!
Tails: For example, they've added an H, and...well, that's about it.
> Pointing the mini-computer at the urn, she flipped it open and said, “Nichole, translate!”
Sonic: [Sally] It says, "Violator and subject to severe penalties and
will be prosecutedt to the full extent of the jam."
> A blue grid of light emerged briefly from the computer, blanketing the urn. Within seconds, the light vanished, leaving Nichole to beep and whirr as its systems computed the visual data. “Translating, Sally.” It spoke blankly.
> Sonic approached Sally cautiously; whenever she went into Archaeologist mode, she could be a bit of a handful to deal with.
Tails: Not nearly as much as her "Trekkie Mode", though.
> “Why so excited, Sal?” he asked. “I mean, yeah, it’s past cool we found all this stuff, but…”
Knuckles: [Sonic] ...this won't sell for much on eBay!
> The hedgehog was cut off as Nichole beeped loudly, indicating the translation was finished. “Translation: Here Rests The Giant’s Ring. Haven To All Mandarras Who Hold Its Secret.”
Sonic: [mobster voice] Say one word about dis, dough, and you'll
regret it!
> If Sally had been excited before, she was downright GIDDY now!
Tails: Oh, shit! Hide the women and children!
> “I knew it, I KNEW it!” she exclaimed gleefully.
Knuckles: [Sally] Maggie DID shoot Mr. Burns! It all makes sense!
> It was more than a little difficult for Sonic to understand that giddiness himself. The last time he’d heard anything about a “Giant’s Ring”, it had all been part of that crazy wizard Naugus’ scheme to lure him into the Void.
Sonic: Uh, I think I might've walked in a little too late.
Tails: It's always like that in the SatAM fandom. Just smile and nod.
> Yet even as he puzzled over what the big deal was, Sally wrapped him in her arms and spun him around.
Knuckles: [singing] We are the champions...my frieeeeend...
> “Oh, Sonic, do you know what this MEANS?” she asked.
> “Um…no.” he answered bluntly, though he appreciated the attention.
Sonic: To the point of getting a boner.
> “The Giant’s Ring was one of the most sacred artifacts of Mandarra culture! According to legend, it holds the key to all the secrets of the Mandarras!”
Tails: Uh...Mandarra Mandarra Mandarra! Am I doing well?
> “It could give us invaluable knowledge, knowledge that could topple Robotnik for good!”
> THAT got Sonic’s attention.
Knuckles: About time something did.
> In a blur of blue, the hedgehog dashed about the room at full speed. Normally, Sally would have been annoyed by such a sudden show of force, but it wasn’t hard for her to figure out what Sonic was up to, and she was eager to see his success.
Sonic: ...in the stock market.
> To and fro, in and around, up and down Sonic searched, blowing away the webs and the dust that covered the hidden relics. At last, his mach-speed search concluded. “TA-DA!” Stopping on a dime, the Hedgehog stood with his hands empty in front of him, grinning happily.
Tails: Somebody get that dude some Ritalin?
> “Uh, Sonic..?” Sally muttered, confused.
> The hedgehog’s pleased smile did not falter. “Wait, Sal.” He said smugly. “You haven’t seen the trick yet.”
Knuckles: [Sonic] Now I put the quarter behind my ear, like this...
> He then bent his leg backwards...
Sonic: And cracked his tibula. He is questionable for Sunday's game.
> The flap opened up, and into Sonic’s waiting hands, out flew…
> “The Giant’s Ring…” Sally whispered.
Tails: So, all that showing off in the last paragraph was...
ALL: ENTIRELY POINTLESS!
> Sure enough, Sonic now held in his hands the thick gold ring Sally had studied for so long. “Soooooo…how does this thing work?” the impatient-as-always speedster asked.
Knuckles: It's a suppository.
Sonic: Ack!
> Taking the ring from him, Sally looked it over. “There should be an inscription somewh…ah-HA!”
> There, on the underside of the disc, was a panel of writing, the same kind as on the urn. “The Magic words.” She said. Now Sonic understood.
Sonic: Glad somebody does, because frankly, I'm a little confused.
> For a moment, the squirrel could only look. This was it…these symbols carried the power of an entire civilization behind them. Steeling herself....
ALL: HUH?!
Tails: "Steeling" herself? What is this? I don't even...
Sonic: Is that like roboticization?
Knuckles: Great, now her character will be even more robotic in tone!
> ...she brought Nichole’s scanner to the symbol. “Nichole, Transcribe..” She said. As the scanning grid flashed out again, Sally turned to Sonic. “Better stand close to me, Sonic. I don’t know what’s going to happen when Nichole reads the spell.”
Sonic: For all we know, he could be "Steeled" at any moment!
Tails: Let it go, man. Just let it go.
> He would never say it out loud, ESPECIALLY not to Sally, but the hedgehog was more than a little nervous around that ring. He’d seen magic in all its fury before...
Knuckles: ...in the movie Tooth Fairy.
> Lazaar, Naugus, and all their destructive spells still hung fresh in his mind, and Sally’s as well. Even as Nichole processed the data, she knew the risk they were taking just then. Still, neither one backed down. The promise in that ring was too great to ignore.
Tails: This thing is probably worth billions!
> “Transcribed: Hadorren Anakris Venjer Elysius Numenor.”
Knuckles: Uh-oh, we'd better take Nichole back to the repairmen. She's
busted.
> As soon as Nichole’s digitized voice spoke the words, the symbols lit up bright blue.
Sonic: My God! They have access to Lite-Brite technology!
> Holding the Ring felt like touching open flame, and with a yelp, Sally released her grip on it. Yet rather than fall to the ground, the disc instead floated in mid-air, its markings growing brighter and brighter. Soon, the light had formed a sphere around Sonic and Sally, neither of whom dared to move in the face of the frightening reaction of the ring. Soon, the bubble of blue closed in on them both, and everything became blinding white light…
Tails: Soon, the writer had better stop starting sentences that way,
or soon I'll be forced to do unspeakable things to him. Soon.
> “SALLY!”
> “SONIC!”
> The two cries, desperate for the safety of the other...
Knuckles: Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy...
> were swiftly silenced. The light faded, and the dank underground of Robotropolis was no longer there when it did.
Sonic: So, all that thing does is clean sewers? What a letdown.
> Instead, there was bright blue sky and majestic towers of gold and bronze as far as the eye could see. The sound of rushing water was evident, the sun shined brightly, and all around there were streets and houses. It was a city…a beautiful city.
Tails: Dear Lord, this is like the Mary Sue of cities!
> “I don’t believe it…” Sally whispered. “We found it…we found the Lost City of the Mandaras!”
> “Way Past Cool, Sal!” Sonic said, himself looking around with wide-eyed wonder; the streets seemed to go on forever, and they were so wide…perfect running space!
Knuckles: [Sonic] Wanna just forget about the whole "overthrow
Robotnik" thing and just settle here?
> As for Sally, she was busy admiring the architecture. The buildings were tremendous in scope, fitting considering they were meant to house Giants....
Sonic: ...before their big game against the Eagles.
> Pearly white paint covered them, with roofs of shining gold shimmering in the bright sun, the buildings seemed to reach up to grab the sky.
Tails: These are some pretty gay Giants.
Knuckles: Watch it! Remember what happened last time you brought that
sort of thing up? Don't jinx yourself!
> Plants and trees bloomed everywhere. The Princess had to hold back tears, because it was all too familiar…it was like being back in the past.
Sonic: When they played the shitty games that sucked ass.
> Back home with Father, no trace of Robotnik or anything to do with him. “…Sonic.” She said softly. “We…we should look around…”
> “Couldn’t agree more, Sal!” the hedgehog replied, ready and eager to see just where these new roads took him.
Knuckles: Hopefully into a GOOD fanfiction.
> Reaching into his pack, Sonic tossed a communicator to Sally. “Keep in touch!” he said, and with that, he was gone.
Sonic: [Sally] Goodbye! Write back when you become a star!
> Of course, presented with the perfect opportunity to do nothing but run, run, run to his heart’s content, that was exactly what the Blue Blur did. Zooming through the massive city, Sonic dashed up and down, to and fro, zig-zagging around and around and around, laughing heartily all the while.
Tails: He was later given a warning by the local police.
> As he dashed giddily about the city, he was surprised at all the little details-details that normally would have passed him by-caught his eye.
Knuckles: What's with all-all the gratuitous-hyphen usage?
> All the open sky (Tails would just love that)...
Tails: [sarcastic] Aw, you remembered...
> the many gardens (Bunnie liked flowers, didn’t she?), mosaics and paintings alongside many of the buildings (Rotor would nerd out to that), and even suits of armor that guarded the doorways of the more regal structures (Ant would either admire them or cower in fear of them, whichever).
Knuckles: I smell petty theft in the near future!
> Plus, Sally seemed happy as could be to have found the place. Sonic knew HE was pretty pleased with their discovery. “It’s a regular slice of heaven…” he thought. “Can’t say I’d mind hanging around for a good long while…”
Sonic: [himself] Hopefully the other Freedom Fighters will have fun
fending off Robotnik without us!
> Coming to a large circled area that seemed to be the center of the city, he ran several high-speed laps before getting back on course. Eventually, he found himself at what appeared to be the border.
Knuckles: As you can imagine, illegal immigration was a problem here,
too.
> There were no further buildings up ahead that the hedgehog could see, and the street seemed to end. “Well, now’s as good a time as any to see if I can figure out just where on Mobius this place actually IS…” he reasoned, pressing onward rather than slowing down.
> The last of the city’s beautiful buildings, two tall spiraling towers that seemed to act as a sort of gate, passed behind Sonic in seconds…and then vanished. Stopping in his tracks, the hedgehog looked behind him. “What the…?”
Tails: Oh, and so is terrorism, apparently.
> It was gone. The skyscrapers, the towers, all of it.
Knuckles: YOU MANIAC! YOU BLEW IT UP!
> The Blue Blur now stood out on some empty, desolate stretch of land overlooking the clouds. Gulping, Sonic realized with no small amount of fear that he might not be able to get back. Taking the plunge anyway, he blazed back to where the gates once were…and felt a great weight fall off his chest as the towers and the buildings all reappeared.
Tails: He then slowly realized he had defecated on city property, and
proceeded to run like hell.
> “Note to self,” he breathed aloud in relief, “do NOT do THAT again.”
Sonic: [himself] No more 7-Eleven chili dogs for me!
> The shock having sucked some of the drive out of him, Sonic decided to check in on Sally. Taking his communicator out, he flicked it on and spoke into the receiver, “Yo, Sal, you read me?”
> “Loud and clear, Sonic.” The squirrel’s familiar voice (a nice comforter after that surprisingly nasty surprise)
Knuckles: It also makes a pretty nice blanket.
> “How goes the search?”
> “Well enough so far,” Sonic said, “though I had a weird little run-in with the city limits…
Sonic: [himself] Long story short, I'm wanted in 26 states for arson
and battery.
> “How bad is it?”
> “The whole place just up ‘n’ vanishes as soon as ya leave!” Sonic admitted.
Knuckles: Jeez, and I thought Canada had tight border security!
> That seemed to give the Princess pause. “Interesting…it must be part of some sort of security measure to make sure outsiders never found this place…” Sally mused.
Tails: Which makes sense considering they made a ring that transports
you to the place...wait.
> “What about you? Things alright on your end?” Sonic asked.
> “More than alright. I’ve found what seems to be some sort of library, not far from where we arrived. I’m sifting through some of the more prominent tomes, trying to learn what I can about this place.” The Princess answered, clearly delighted.
Sonic: Goddamn it, why don't you just put some thick, nerdy glasses on
her and get it over with?!
> Sonic had to suppress a groan. Sally plus libraries was a surefire recipe for BOREDOM. Still, it would do well to calm his shocked nerves, so for once the hedgehog decided to take the plunge.
Knuckles: Take the plunge into a repetitive phrase!
> “Cool, Sal, cool. Hold tight, I’ll meet ya there.”
> “Look for the Golden Dragons,” the Princess instructed. “They’re right in front of the entrance.”
Tails: [Sally] They'll want you to answer a secret question. The
answer is "crowbar". Don't ask, just go with it.
> In a flash, the hedgehog tracked the library down. Taking a deep sigh, he walked inside, and was greeted by the sight of Sally practically flying about every corner of the building.
Sonic: [librarian] Sssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
> Snatching books off of every corner, scanning them with Nichole every so often, the squirrel looked to be moving almost as fast as Sonic, a fact which got the hedgehog chuckling. Noticing the sound, Sally stopped her rushing about with a bit of a blush.
Tails: Is she gonna actually buy something or what?
> “O…oh, Sonic! There you are!” she said even as she finished taking down the latest scroll from one of the many gargantuan bookcase.
> Sonic gave her a cockeyed grin. “Gettin’ real caught up in all this, aren’t ya?” he asked, amused.
Knuckles: [Sally] I'm sorry, I have a problem!
> Placing the scroll in her pile...
Sonic: I know what this fanfic is a pile of, but that's beside the
point.
> Sally tried her best not to look TOO embarrassed at having been caught in such an indulgent moment...
Knuckles: ...on film.
> “W…well, this is all just…y’know, a LOT to take in, that’s all…” she said lamely.
> The hedgehog merely laughed. “Face it, Sal: you are now OFFICIALLY the biggest nerd on Mobius!”
Tails: So what am I? A bedpan?
> Shooting a frustrated glare at Sonic, the squirrel snatched one of her selected books and opened it up. “Yes, well, while YOU were out joy-riding, I was doing ACTUAL research!” she replied snidely.
Sonic: [Sally] And totally not flipping through porn, no!
> “From what I’ve read, the Mandarras created this place thousands of years ago when they became fearful for their survival. It was designed to be a safe haven they could retreat to in the event some calamity or other were to endanger their civilization.”
Knuckles: Wow, if only I gave two shits!
> “Yeah? Well then, where ARE they?” Sonic asked.
> Sally sighed. “I wish I could say…I guess something terrible DID happen to them, but they weren’t able to make it here in time…” she said softly.
Tails: The writer's attempt at sympathy, ladies and gentlemen.
> Feeling a bit awkward now for having spoiled Sally’s good mood, Sonic tried to lighten the atmosphere.
Sonic: [himself] You know, a funny thing happened to me on the way to
the village tonight...
> “Hey, they left a great pad behind for us to find, right?” he offered sympathetically.
> The Princess smiled. “Thanks for trying, Sonic…”
Knuckles: [Sally] Very, very badly.
> “I suppose so. This place really IS wonderful, too…it has a water supply, large stocks of food from all over Mobius, and it’s perfectly hidden.”
Tails: Uh, Sally, your standards for a good city are lower than
Obama's approval rating!
Sonic: [Sally] Oh my god, this place has a functioning system of
government. A FUNCTIONING SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT!
> “’Perfectly Hidden’?” Sonic interjected. “That have anything to do with the little vanishing act this place pulled when I went outside the city limits?”
> Sally nodded. “Mm hm. According to my research here, the Mandarras intentionally chose a remote and isolated area of the world to keep outsiders away, but just to be safe they used their magic to cloak the entire city. Anyone outside its limits wouldn’t be able to see it, and just assume the area was totally empty.”
Knuckles: [outsider] Whoooooaaa, I must've been totally high back
there!
> “Man, these guys took their security SERIOUSLY…” Sonic said, a bit surprised at just HOW protected this place was.
> “Joke if you want, but Robotnik would never be able to find this place.” Sally said, looking the library over with a certain longing in her eyes..
> “Good point…” Sonic conceded.
Sonic: I mean, it's not like his SwatBots probably patrol the sewers
every day and might find this ring...wait.
> For a moment, silence hung in the air.
Tails: Thank the great maker.
> In Knothole, even when no danger was present, there was always a sense that their peace could be short-lived…that any second, some horrible machine could tear down the trees surrounding them and burn the home they’d made for themselves to the ground in seconds.
Knuckles: They had watched a little too much Captain Planet.
> No such sense existed here. Here, everything was safe. “So. What now?” Sonic finally spoke aloud.
Sonic: I dunno. You wanna put some action in this fanfic before I
snap?
> Sally pondered over that question a good deal before answering, “Well, I’d love to take an extended tour,” she said, then hastily added, “You know, see the rest of this place. For strategic reasons.”
> “Hey, any excuse to run is fine by me.” Sonic said with a shrug.
Tails: Glad to see you're such a fragging help.
> So the duo assumed the familiar position, Sally cradled in Sonic’s arms, and stepped out of the library. The sun had begun to set, turning the sky a glorious shade of gold that covered the whole city. “Nice touch…” Sonic chuckled.
Knuckles: Okay...the creepy meter in this story just went up to
eleven.
Sonic: Notice they didn't say WHAT Sonic was touching.
Tails: Great. It's Obsession all over again.
> Together they explored the city. Together they saw the sights: a majestic stadium whose dome was a series of spiraling beams that weaved together like a metal web…
Sonic: Until the dome COLLAPSED UNDER SEVERAL HUNDRED POUNDS OF SNOW
JUST LIKE THE METRODOME DID! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!
> ...the labyrinthine aqueducts that carried water to every corner of the city…a large, open field whose cheerful statues suggested it was meant as a playground...
Tails: Because what playground would be complete without a creepy
statue overlooking the scene?
> …the centerpiece of the city, a titanic tower that reached up higher than any other structure, culminating in a large sun-like golden ornament at its top…and by the end of it, they were on the rooftops, laughing giddily at the day’s experiences.
Knuckles: Meanwhile, several hundred miles away in Los Angeles, a
hedgehog, a fox, and an echidna are pleading for their collective
sanity.
> “Admit it, Sonic, you nearly jumped out of your SKIN when you saw that statue!” Sally giggled.
> “Hey, HEY, it was a freaky statue, OK? I’d hate to meet the kids raised on THAT sorta thing…” Sonic defended, even as he himself chuckled at the memory.
Sonic: [himself] I mean, were those his actual teeth, or were they a
freaky Halloween thing?
> The sun was cresting on the horizon now, the last of the red light peeling back for an encroaching darkness. Looking out to the sky, Sally sighed in amazement. “I can’t believe how quickly the day went by…” she said.
Tails: Well, for me it couldn't have ended slowly and painfully
enough.
> “The others are probably worried sick about us, and we were so caught up in…”
> “None ‘o’ that, Sal.” Sonic interrupted.
Knuckles: "The others" are probably dying at the hands of Robotnik
even as we speak! Get to it, you morons!
> “We couldn’t contact the others even if we wanted to..."
Sonic: [himself] And Lord knows we don't ever want to...
> “I guess…” Sally replied half-heartedly. Then, unable to keep it in any longer, she said, “We could bring them here, you know. Tails, Bunnie, Rotor, Antoine…all of them. All the Freedom Fighters.”
Tails: And leave the enslaved planet defenseless?
Sonic: You talk about it as if that were a BAD thing.
> “Yeah, I’d thought of something similar myself…” Sonic replied, now following Sally’s eyesight out into the ever-darkening sky.
> “We’d never have to worry about Robotnik again. He couldn’t find this place even if he knew it existed, which he doesn’t anyway. We could start all over, make a new Mobotropolis here…” the squirrel continued.
Knuckles: Or he would just destroy your old home and rule over the
rest of the planet...
> Sonic was not quite sure what to say to that. What COULD he say? It DID sound nice…just…well, wrong, somehow.
All: YAY! AN ACTUAL THOUGHT!!!
> It was rare the hedgehog engaged in much deep thought...
Tails: You daaaaayyyummmn right.
> ...but the prospect of staying here in this miracle city was one subject that seemed to warrant the effort. Truth be told, there was nothing about the city that warranted their NOT living there.
Sonic: I mean, they have actual toilets on this planet! TOILETS!
> It had everything anyone in Knothole could ever want or need, it was beautiful to look at and fantastic to live in, and the day he’d spent there was one of the most enjoyable the Blue Blur could remember.
> Yet to LIVE there? To give up the fight with Robotnik? That simply did not sit well with Sonic…
Knuckles: Things are starting to look up, guys.
Sonic: Yeah, this might end well after all!
Tails: Don't. jinx. it.
> He and everyone he cared about could easily have a long, happy life in this place until the end of their days. The burdens of a war they never should have been forced into would be gone for good! What POSSIBLE downside was there to that?
Knuckles: Okay, he is officially almost as indecisive as Brett Favre
now.
> It agonized Sonic to no end that he could not figure out the answer to that, but neither could he shake the feeling that such an answer existed. Instead, he came to realize how tired he was. It had been a long, exciting day, and the time for sleep was quite evident.
Sonic: [dramatic mighty voice] The time for sleep is nigh...
> “Dunno about you, Sal…” he yawned, “but I’m getting pretty sleepy…”
> “Hm? Oh, yes. Yes, of course…” Sally replied half-heartedly.
Tails: [Sally] Yes...sleep. Whatever you say, my glorious master.
> Truthfully, SHE was agonizing over the tempting choice before them as well.
Knuckles: An actual thought coming from HER, too?
Sonic: Yeah...and this fanfic still kinda sucks regardless.
> A second chance at having a real, secure home was simply too good to dismiss out of hand. To relieve themselves of having to be a society AND a guerilla unit…to spare Tails of a future filled with violence…
Tails: [sarcastic] Yay, I've been name-dropped.
> …to finally give themselves the chance to just be normal citizens again…that potential existed here, and Sally wanted to seize it so badly.
Sonic: [himself] I wanna seize YOU in bed tonight, mm-hmm!
> Yet there was that ever-present voice of doubt, the voice that whispered that what she TRULY wanted was to not have to worry about fighting anymore, that she was just being selfish and giving up now that an easier alternative presented itself.
Knuckles: If it takes them THAT long to make the decision, they're not
really heroes!
Sonic: Not just heroes...but SONIC Heroes!
Tails and Knuckles: GAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKKKK!
> It was all but impossible to decide which voice, bore greater validity...
Sonic: [Sally] Should I go with Ryan Drummond or Jason Griffith? So
hard to choose.
> and tired as she was, the squirrel was not interested in trying. “C’mon, Sonic,” she said softly, “we’ll sleep inside this building for the night.”
Tails: [Sally] I hear they have free CineMax.
> Sonic thus took her into his arms again, running down the building’s side as he had done before to get them up there in the first place.
Knuckles: Elevators had not been invented yet.
> They entered the gargantuan structure, finding a good warm spot. Then, side by side, they lay down together, covering themselves in a long piece of cloth located nearby. Both slept. Both thought over the day’s events and their possible effects on the future. Both dreamed.
Tails: Huh. How very Cartesian.
> The light of the morning sun shined in through the window, stirring Sally from her sleep. Rising up out of the cloth, she stretched nice and long. “That’s the best sleep I’ve had in ages…” she thought, looking down at Sonic, who still lay snoring on the ground.
Sonic: She sleeps pretty damn well next to someone who snores like
that.
> She grinned. Yet she also felt herself frowning. Seeing him like that…lying next to her…it made her think.
Knuckles: [Sally] How should I drug his chili dogs?
> There was a bright, prosperous future to be had here. Families…children…would be safer here than anywhere else on the planet.
Sonic: Perfect. More "should we stay in this perfect city thus leaving
our friends behind and letting Robotnik destroy the secret village"
BS. You know what? IT'S GETTING OLD.
Tails: Phew. I was starting to think this might actually turn out to
be a decent story!
> Yet to gain it would require a tremendous sacrifice. She’d done the research; the Giant’s Ring (tucked safely in Sonic’s backpack now) could only be used four times before its energy was depleted completely.
Tails: My "Sudden Plot Contrivance Sense" is tingling...
> She and Sonic had already used it once. To go home, they would have to use it again. If they intended to bring the rest of Knothole’s villagers back to the city, it would take a third time.
Knuckles: Yeah, thanks. We can do the math.
> Then…then there would be a choice. They could remain in the city and spend the rest of their lives in peace…or go back to the endless war with Robotnik and never see this wonderful place again. “In other words,” Sally mused to herself, “I’m still stuck at the same crossroads I was yesterday…”
Sonic: That's because you're a fucking idiot, Sal.
> With a sigh, the squirrel roused herself to her feet, taking a moment to appreciate the blazing dawn that slowly rose over the city.
Tails: She slowly realized that it wasn't the sun, but A COMET COME TO
COMPLETELY DESTROY EVERYTHING! GAAAAAAAAHHHH!
> A soft yawn signaled Sonic’s awakening, and, quills frazzled every which way, he too soon rose out of the blanket. “Mmmmmmm-MM! THAT is what I’d call a relaxing sleep…” he said with a contented yawn, blinking the last remnants of exhaustion out of his eyes.
Knuckles: Come to think of it, I'm surprised they found sleeping
quarters in a building that has been indicated TO NOT BE A HOTEL OF
ANY KIND.
> Sally laughed quietly, but it was not hard to tell her thoughts were still as conflicted as they had been before. The hedgehog could sympathize; he was still unsure about this whole situation.
Sonic: Aaaannnnddd...we're back to square one.
Tails: My God, this comic is a Mobius loop! ...Wait.
Knuckles: What did I say about puns?
Tails: I didn't mean it! Seriously!
> “Still…I’ve…WE’VE…got a lot of thinking to do…”
> Sonic sighed dramatically. “You KNOW I hate thinkin’, Sal…”
Knuckles: We're already well aware.
> The Princess normally would have asked him to be serious, but somehow…it just didn’t feel right this time. “I’m…I’m going to the library.” She whispered.
Sonic: [Sally] Maybe some Us Weekly would cheer me up.
> “Sal…” the hedgehog offered apologetically, but found himself unable to finish.
Tails: Take some Alka-Seltzer!
> So Sally walked downstairs, out of the house and into the streets.
Knuckles: Where she got flattened by an 18-wheeler coming in the other
direction. THE END! Can we go now?!
Tails: I wish.
> Sonic watched her go back, toward the library, and smacked himself on the forehead. “Smooth move, hedgehog…” he mumbled in frustration. A part of him wanted to go after her, but he knew Sally well enough to know when she wanted some time to herself.
Sonic: You know, unlike two fanfics ago, when he was an obsessed
freak!
> Still, he was not about to just sit around this place standing still.
Knuckles: "Sit around standing still?"
Tails: Yeah, as opposed to sitting around the place lying down.
> Once Sally was out of view, the hedgehog took off himself down the opposite direction.
Sonic: "Took off himself"? That sounds painful.
Knuckles: I'm starting to think that the writer is now broken.
> “Morning Jog oughta do me some good…” he thought hopefully.
> Indeed, after several laps around the city, Sonic felt MUCH better.
Tails: [Sonic] I can't believe I ate the WHOLE thing!
> So much better, in fact, that he had made up his mind on what to do with the Giant’s Ring.
Sonic: Dude, Gas-X doesn't work THAT well.
> Thus he was back in front of the Golden Dragons, intent on sharing his answer with Sally. Yet when he walked inside, she was nowhere to be seen. “Sal?” he called out. “SAL?!?”
Tails: Here's a tip. Try searching more than just the entrance!
> Scurrying about the gigantic library, the hedgehog felt the creeping tendrils of fear beginning to approach his chest as he looked around for any sign of Sally only to keep coming up short, only for them to mercifully retract at the sight of a long staircase heading upwards.
Knuckles: Uh-oh. Run-on sentences, bad analogies, repeated words. I'm
having ÆdS flashbacks!
Sonic: I'm starting to feel the "creeping tendrils of fear", too.
> Hoping beyond hope to find what he thought he’d find up there, Sonic rushed up the stairs. Sure enough, they led him to the roof of the library.
Sonic: Does the concept of security even exist on this planet?!
Tails: I doubt it. I think that's why they want to stay there. The
shoplifting's probably easy there.
> Also sure enough, there stood Sally, standing at the edge of the building, arms wrapped around herself. The hedgehog prepared to speak to her, but just as he opened his mouth, she beat him to the punch. “This place really IS perfect…” she said wistfully. “But there’s one problem…”
Knuckles: [Sally] It's run by Democrats.
> Slowly, she turned around to face Sonic. Her eyes brimmed with tears; clearly, she had done a good deal of soul-searching since she’d gotten up that morning. “It’s not Home.”
Sonic: [Sally] Oh, and our friends are alone in another dimension. Oh,
and Robotnik is probably destroying our home. Oh, and...
Tails: Let it go.
Sonic: But--
Tails: Let it go! It'll be over quicker!
> Wiping her eyes a bit, taking a moment to recompose herself, she walked over to Sonic, who simply looked at her understandingly. “No matter how happy I am here, I can’t…I CAN’T live here knowing that I’ll be leaving the rest of Mobius behind. Knowing that I COULD be fighting Robotnik but chose not to…”
Tails: [Sally] On the other hand, we can sell our bootleg Crush 40
tapes without fear of prosecution...
> Sonic let his arms open, and she entered them graciously. Hugging the squirrel warmly, he felt himself tearing up a bit. The Princess had taken the words right out of his mouth.
Knuckles: And horribly twisted them.
> The worst part of it, though, was that in truth Sonic had realized from the beginning what his choice would inevitably be.
Sonic: He had read through the whole script before filming.
> How could it be anything else? The fight for Mobius’ freedom had come to define their lives so much, even if they DID want to let it go, they could not. Not until it was over.
Tails: Not until they beat the torch puzzle in Lost Labyrinth Act 2.
> “I just couldn’t do that, Sonic…” he heard Sally’s hushed voice whisper tearfully into his ear.
> “I couldn’t either, Sal…” Sonic assured, hugging her that much tighter.
Knuckles: [Sally] Gack! You're...crushing...my windpipe...
> After a time, they exited the library. Sonic now held the Giant’s Ring in his hand, and both were looking at it as if it was the center of the entire universe.
Sonic: It was that boring.
> “We leave,” Sally said matter-of-factly. “We leave and go back to Knothole and tell the others what happened. We bring them here, let them spend a day in this place, and then…we let them choose. All of them.”
Tails: Wait, what happened to that "leaving Mobius behind" speech?!
Are you staying or not?!
Sonic: Why does it matter anyway? Aren't there, like, hundreds of
other groups of Freedom Fighters around Mobius?
Knuckles: Wait...I never thought of that.
Tails: Yeah, and Robotnik probably doesn't know most of them exist, so
they have the element of surprise on their side!
Knuckles: Come to think of it, what exactly did Sonic, Sally, and the
others accomplish in this series?! BUPKISS!
Sonic: So, anyway, back to what passes for a story.
> It was the only fair thing to do. Just as she could not stay there herself, Sally could not bring herself to take that same chance away from the hundreds of others who lived in Knothole.
Knuckles: Wait, HUNDREDS?! Either that's one hell of an inconsistency
or I've gotta catch up on the comics!
> Hundreds who might not be so conflicted about living in the Mandarra’s haven. Both she and Sonic had a fair share of worries about giving them that choice-they were short-handed as it was, and if even a handful chose to stay, things would only get harder-but both knew it was the only right thing they could do.
Sonic: Yeah, hyphens-still do not work-that way.
> “Well…here we go.” Sonic said as Sally took Nichole out to scan the ring again.
> Once more, the words were spoken and the spell activated.
> Both took one last look at the dream they were about to awaken from before light consumed their visions again.
Tails: I had the most wonderful dream...except Sally was there.
Knuckles: Come on, let's just go.
[Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles get up and leave.]
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