| MFT9K Episode I: Hands to Scorch My Skin [message #161601] |
Thu, 22 May 2008 20:55  |
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Originally posted by: PIcaRDMPC
*Turn The Lights Off*
(Things Just Look Better That Way)
DISCLAIMER: Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and its characters are
copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. and are borrowed under the Fair Rights
Use Act for the sake of humour only. No money is made from the
production of this MSTing.
Any and all mentions of songs, fictional works, television shows, ect
ect are copyrighted and owned by their respective creators and are
used under the Fair Rights Use Act for the sake of humour only.
Kingdom Hearts and its related characters are the property of Square-
Enix and Disney.
Hands to Scorch My Skin is the property of Kainichi and is borrowed
with permission for the sake of MSTing. Please note that no insult or
offense is meant by this MSTing; it is meant, instead, as simply
another form of C&C. The original, un-MSTed version is linked at the
end of this MSTing.
MYSTERY FANFIC THEATRE 9000
BY: Kyronea
EPISODE I: Hands To Scorch My Skin
(Cue Theme Song In Five...Four...Three...Two....One...)
In The Not Too Distant Future
In an Alternate Universe
Mike Nelson and Joel Robinson
Are Plagued By An Endless Curse
Caught By Forrester and His Mother Pearl
Two Evil Scientists Out To Rule The World
Their Experiment Needed a Good Test Case
So They Tied Up Mike and Joel and Shot 'Em Into Space!
MIKE : LET! US! DOWN!
JOEL: OH GOD NOT AGAIN!
PEARL AND CLAYTON:
We'll Send Them Cheesy Fanfics!
The Worst We Can Find! (La-La-La!)
They'll Have To Sit And Read Them All
While We Monitor Their Minds! (La-La-La!)
Now Mike And Joel Have No Control
Over When the Fanfic's Begin Or End
Because They Used Those Special Parts
To Remake Their Robot Friends!
ROBOT ROLL CALL:
CAMBOT! (Let's Go!)
GYPSY! (I'll Take Care Of Ya!)
TOM SERVO! (Isn't This Fun?!)
CROOOOOOOOW! (Again! Again!)
If You're Wondering How They Eat And Breath
Or Other Science Facts (La-La-La!)
Just Repeat To Yourself: "It's Just A MiST!"
"I Should Really Just Relax!"
For Mystery Fanfic Theatre 9000!
The lens of Cambot panned over the bridge of the new Satellite of
Love, taking in all the sights and sounds, especially the fancy new
centre table, full of displays and shining lights, along with the
traditional buttons used to contact the Mads. If Cambot had a voice,
it would be sighing right now; Cambot was NOT happy about resuming his
duties, not at all.
Suddenly, the gumball dispenser shaped head of Tom Servo popped into
view. “Hi folks,” he whispered. “Welcome back to the Satellite of
Love. I know what you’re thinking: what’re we doing back, right?” Tom
did his best to shrug; it ended up more of a wave of his body. “I’d
like to know that too, but Joel and Mike aren’t tellin’.”
“Tom!” The voice of Gypsy called from one corner of the bridge. “Come
here!”
“Coming, coming…” Tom answered as he made his way over to the corner,
where Joel Robinson and Mike Nelson awaited him, along with the
hovering Gypsy. They stood over Crow T. Robot, who was only just now
coming online. “Oh, hey Crow!” Tom said. “Nice to have you back,
buddy!”
“Nice to be back,” Crow muttered as he looked around. “Where are we?
What happened?” Then he noticed Joel standing over him. “Joel?!
What’re you doing here?!”
Joel laughed. “Well, it’s kind of a long story…”
“We’re back on the Satellite of Love, Crow,” Mike interjected.
“Oh…oh joy.” Crow sighed and pulled himself to his feet. “Shoulda
figured. I knew living on Earth was too good to last.” He peered
around the bridge, noting the various differences and the overall
higher-technological look of the place. “So how’d we get here,
anyway?”
Mike pointed squarely at Joel. “Blame him. It’s his fault.”
Joel rolled his eyes; they’d clearly argued about this before. “Now,
Mike, come on…you were the one who wanted to use the portal before it
was tested…”
“And you let me!”
“Only because you kept bugging me about it!”
“Well yeah, because the idea was really cool! Why would you show it
to me if you didn’t want to use it anyway?”
“I was just showing you a prototype for kicks!”
Tom and Crow could barely contain their laughter; fortunately, Gypsy
held a cooler head. “Now calm down, you two,” she consoled as she
waved her giant purple head at the two humans. “It doesn’t matter
whose fault it is. It happened and we gotta deal with it.”
“’Course it would be nice to know exactly WHAT happened…” Tom
muttered.
Mike glared at Joel, who after a moment decided to answer Tom. “Well,
like I said, it’s kind of a long story.” He coughed a bit, clearing
his throat. “See, not too long after you guys got back to Earth, I
thought I’d show you some of my new inventions! I never got out of the
habit of makin’ them.
“And I got this idea after watching an episode of Sliders: what if I
invented a real portal to parallel universes? Neat idea, huh?”
“Oh, yes, wonderful,” Mike cursed under his breath.
“Did it work?” Crow asked.
“You bet it did!” Joel answered with a proud grin, though a renewed
glare from Mike dissolved it. “Mike made me use it a little earlier
than I wanted, but it took all of us here. Well…actually it took us to
a different version of Deep Thirteen, but that’s not the point.”
“Wait…if we came with you, why don’t we remember anything?” Gypsy
inquired.
Joel grimaced. “Like I said…I didn’t get a chance to test it. It
kinda overloaded your bodies.”
“Boom,” Mike clarified with a gesture showing an explosion.
If the bots had blood, it would be freezing solid right now. As it
was, they all—even Cambot—did their best imitation of a human shiver
of fright.
Joel smiled again. “Luckily your memory was still mostly intact, so
all we had to do was rebuild your bodies.”
After a few more moments of shivering, Crow finally managed to say
“But that still doesn’t explain how we ended up here…”
“Oh, that? Again, his fault,” Mike gestured vaguely in Joel’s
direction.
Joel grimaced again, but managed to fight the urge to argue back.
“Well, like I said, we ended up in some kinda alternate Deep Thirteen,
only we didn’t realize it at first.”
“And bozo here decided he wanted to explore…I was all for getting the
hell out of there, but nooo, Joel wanted to look around!”
“Mike!” Gypsy shouted impatiently. “Would you PLEASE calm down,
already?!”
Squeezing his fist, Mike bit off a sharp retort and crossed his arms
over his chest, pouting. After a moment, he sighed and said, “Sorry,
Joel.”
Joel acknowledged the apology with a nod. “It’s okay, Mike; we’re all
stressed out.” At the sight of Tom and Crow gesturing furiously for
him to continue, Joel quietly grinned. “Anyway, we looked around, and
when we realized we were in Deep Thirteen, we decided to beat it.
Unfortunately, it was too late.”
“Gasp!” Tom and Crow whispered.
“We felt someone behind us grab us by the shoulders and force us to
turn around.” Joel did his best to make this sound spooky, which was
unfortunately fell rather flat.
Tom and Crow gasped again anyway. “Who was it?” Gypsy inquired,
staying perfectly calm.
Joel said simply, “Dr. Forrester and Pearl.”
“Dr. Forrester AND Pearl?!” Tom and Crow shouted in amazement.
“Yeah, I almost thought we’d gone back in time to when Pearl was
visiting him,” Mike said, “but nope; she’s his partner.”
“And actually the guy who turned us around was some lackey of
theirs,” Joel added, “Some huge guy called Frank “The Bobo” Erhardt.”
He shook his head in bemusement. “It was like the universe was mocking
us…”
“We’ve mocked it a bunch of times; it was bound to happen,” Crow
philosophized.
“Well, the rest seems pretty obvious to me,” Tom said sardonically.
“They needed someone for their experiments and since you two doofuses
delivered yourselves to their doorstep…”
Mike and Joel could only nod sadly at that.
“I wonder what they’ll do to us…” Gypsy pondered after a few moments
of silence.
“Oh, like that’s hard to figure out!” Crow gestured wildly. “They’re
gonna make us watch movie after bad movie while they monitor our
minds, blah blah blah, every freakin’ time…”
“Wrong, booby!” the ever-devilish voice of Dr. Clayton Forrester
boomed from the speakers as his visage appeared on the screen. Like
the one the SoL occupants had known in their own universe, this Dr.
Forrester had black and white hair in a strewn-about Einstein-like
style, green-framed spectacles dangling off his rather pointy nose and
a lime green lab coat rather shoddily buttoned-up. A despicably
sadistic green graced his face as he stared upon his lab rats with
glee. On his right, standing amongst the disorganized papers, beakers,
and other pieces of lab equipment stood his mother, Pearl Forrester,
who like her son wore a lime green lab coat, while her face was
covered with make-up. The make-up just made her own grin look hideous.
Somewhere in the background Frank “The Bobo” Erhardt could be heard
puttering about with a broom, though Mike, Joel and the Bots couldn’t
see him.
“Whaddya mean, wrong?” Crow challenged, trying to sound brave, though
his voice was shaking just a wee bit; Dr. Forrester always had creeped
him out more than Pearl did since his voice was so similar to Crow’s
own. Joel patted his shoulder to bolster his confidence.
“Oh, I’m sorry, did we disappoint you?” Pearl mocked with a little
laugh. “We’re not going to give you movies.”
“That’s right!” her son added, with one of his signature evil
chuckles. “Oh, we were going to at first, but when we heard Joel and
Mike talking on and on about being forced to watch bad movies and how
it never seemed to work…well, we thought we’d try something a little
different.”
“Different?” Tom asked with a hint of fear as Crow glared fierce
daggers of irritation at Joel and Mike, who could only hang their
heads in shame.
“Oho, yes!” Dr. Forrester almost started to hop with merriment, but
he managed to control himself. “It took quite a bit of doing, but I’ve
managed to rig up the theatre for our alternative.” He scratched his
chin in thought. “Now that I think about it, I wonder why we didn’t
just do this from the start…”
“Clayton!” Pearl startled her son out of his thoughts; if she left
him like that he could sometimes go for hours…sometimes it was a
wonder anything got done around the laboratory.
“Oh, sorry mother.” He coughed, clearing his throat. “Now, where was
I…ah, yes, your inevitable doom.” He sent a new grin to his prisoners.
Crow summoned up his courage and fired off, “Oh yeah, Dr. Forrester?!
Well we can take whatever you dish out!”
“Yeah!” Tom agreed. “Crow and I’ve been putting up with this crap for
ten years! You’re not gonna break us now!”
Mike pumped his fist and stepped forward so he was standing next to
the bots. “You got that right!”
Gypsy positioned herself right behind them and gave an agreeing nod.
Joel put his face in his hands; unlike his friends, he wasn’t quite
so enthusiastic. Sure, he knew he could deal with whatever they sent,
but there was no reason to be melodramatic. “You guys…” he moaned.
Dr. Forrester and Pearl shared a deliciously evil laugh. This went on
for nearly a full minute before they finally managed to quiet down.
Wiping away tears of mirth, Dr. Forrester finally responded, “Oh
really? Do you think you can stand the horrors of…” he paused for a
brief moment to give it that extra oomph “fanfiction?!”
“FANFICTION?!” shrieked Tom and Crow with horror as Mike placed his
head against a nearby wall and started to bang it against the wall
every few seconds.
Joel on, the other hand, seemed rather nonchalant. “Fanfiction, huh?”
He shook his head and shrugged. “You are two evil mamajamas, you know
that?”.
“Well, we try!” Pearl said proudly, beaming. “And besides, you have
no one but yourselves to blame!” She laughed again.
Joel, Mike, and the Bots all looked at each other, and as one, they
nodded and resummoned their courage. “Alright, Dr. F, Pearl,” Mike
said. “Let us have it.”
“Oh, want to skip right to it, eh?” Dr. Forrester asked, looking a
little disappointed. “I was hoping we could have some more fun.” With
a shrug, he shouted “Frank! Get over here!”
Frank “The Bobo” Erhardt stepped into view. He was quite a big man,
with a commanding presence, though unlike good old TV’s Frank he was
all muscle. He had a rather bushy beard and an oddly shaped face that
gave him a bit of a chimp-ish look, and he wore a rather short, white
lab coat that looked two sizes too small for him. Hefting his broom,
he asked, “Yes sir, Dr. Forrester?” in a voice that sounded rather
what like one might expect were the current and old voices of Tom
Servo crossed together with TV’s Frank’s.
“Go get the fanfic, Bobo,” Pearl ordered. With a nod of his head,
Erhardt dashed over to the file cabinet to withdraw it, and brought it
over.
Pearl turned her attention back to Mike, Joel and the Bots. “Well,
since you four want to get to it, we’re going to start things off with
a Kingdom Hearts fanfic called Hands to Scorch My Skin. It’s by
Kainichi, and—though a little long—“
“Lot long…” Dr. Forrester emphasized.
“Lot long,” Pearl continued after a brief glare at her son, “and not
quite as bad as what we’ll be sending to you after this, it’ll be a
good test run.” She shrugged. “After all, whatever experience you
might have, we’ve never done this before.”
She gestured to Erhardt. “Send it to them, Bobo.” To the humans and
Bots, she said, “Read it and weep, boys!”
Without a word, Erhardt fed the fanfic into a feeder in front of him
and hit a shiny red button.
Instantly, loud klaxons wailed and multi-coloured lights strobed and
flashed as the bridge shook. “Oh, we’ve got FANFIC sign!” everyone
shouted as they made their way into the theatre.
(DOOR SIX: A Velvet Curtain Opens Up)
(DOOR FIVE: An Iris Straight Out Of Stargate SG-1 Whirls Open)
(DOOR FOUR: A Door From Star Trek: TOS, Complete With The Sound,
Opens)
(DOOR THREE: A Thick Iron Blast Shield Lowers Into The Floor)
(DOOR TWO: A Buzzing Forcefield Deactivates)
(DOOR ONE: Twin Vault-Style Wheels Spin And The Door Opens Up To
Either Side)
Joel carried Tom into the theatre and placed him on the far left
chair, sitting down next to him. Mike sat on Joel's right and Crow sat
in the far-most right seat.
“So,” Mike said, “Here we go again...I've never riffed a fanfic
before...”
“Don't worry, Mike...we can handle it,” Joel consoled.
“Yeah, once we get into our rhythm we'll do peachy-keen!” Crow said
as cheerfully as he could. Then he started to bawl. “Ah, who am I
kidding? We're doomed! Doomed!”
“Ssh, ssh...” Joel whispered. “We'll be okay.”
“Speak for yourself, Robinson...” Tom muttered. They all quieted as
the fic began.
> Hands to Scorch my Skin
>
MIKE(Kilgore): I love the smell of burning hands in the morning.
> Pairings: Axel/OC
TOM: Pairings? Oh, great...romance.
CROW: Joel, what's OC mean?
JOEL: Original character.
CROW: Ooh, a Mary Sue!
>
> Rating: unknown
>
> Summery: How can his eyes seem so cold while the rest of him is
> burning?
MIKE: That's called insanity, dear.
> My name is Kazumi and I am a servant.
ALL: Hi, Kazumi!
> Not a servant to some pompous rich guy, oh no
TOM(Sarcastic): Oh, is the great Kazumi too good for rich people?
> I am a servant to an organization. Organization XIII.
MIKE: So, in other words, a group of pompous rich people.
CROW: A group of pompous rich Nobodies, thank you.
MIKE: Can you really have a rich Nobody?
TOM: Well, sure. What do you call Rupert Murdoch?
> I have served the XIII since it began, when Xemnas was ‘born’.
> I was fourteen when it started, fifteen when his first follower
> joined. Oh, and before you ask, I’m a Somebody. Still got my heart.
>
CROW: Not to mention the hearts of every male character in the Kingdom
Hearts universe.
JOEL: Ah, Mary Sues…is there anything they can’t achieve?
>
> Well, I should probably start this story. This story begins on my birthday..
CROW: Woohoo!
TOM: Party!
> Not just any birthday, mind you, but my eighteenth birthday.
CROW: Saaay...
> Now, I know to any other girl this would be a cause of
> celebration, but not for me. For me it only meant one, terribly
> dreadful thing.
MIKE(Kazumi): I have to stop eating Kid's Meals at McDonald's!
> It meant I had come of age.
CROW: Oh, great, now she’ll have to use painsticks and—
JOEL: Wrong species, Crow.
>
> Xemnas had only two rules;
TOM: One: Don't talk about the Organization.
MIKE: Two: Don't talk about the Organization!
> don’t disobey and don’t touch the underage servants.
JOEL(Kazumi): They tend to break and they're really expensive!
> He’d made the second after he caught Larxene lip-locking
> with the sixteen-year-old chef assistant.
> Now, I’m not stupid,
MIKE(Kazumi): I'm just intelligently challenged.
> I could see some of the men watching me. One, in particular always
> seemed to have his eye on me.
CROW: The return of the Crawling Eye!
>
> Xigbar, the first person to join up with Xemnas. The man was just
> plain creepy. It seemed that every time I turn around, there he was
> there.
JOEL(Bored Advertiser): This statement brought to you by the
Department of Redundancy department.
> Normally, I would just walk away from him, not letting him get
> under my skin. But this day was different.
MIKE(Kazumi): I needed to exfoliate and he was available.
> I was no longer underage,
> no longer off limits, I was free game.
CROW: Woohoo! That’s a saved quarter for me!
>
> I was sweeping the kitchen when he approached me.
TOM(Xigbar): Gonna score me a Kazumi, hehehe...
> I squeezed the handle of the broom so tightly; my knuckles began to turn white.
JOEL(Conspiring tone): We've secretly replaced Kazumi's broom with
Folger's Crystals! Let's watch...
> I was prepared to use it as a weapon, if necessary.
MIKE(Kazumi): A Lethal Weapon!
*The others cringe from the awful pun*
TOM: Hahahaha—no.
>
> “Good day, Kazumi.” Xigbar said in an overly friendly way. “And happy
> birthday.”
>
CROW(Xigbar): I've got a present for you!
*Tom bounces in his chair*
TOM(Kazumi): Oooh, oooh, what is it?
CROW(Xigbar): My continued presence, of course!
TOM(Kazumi): …aww…I wanted a pony…
>
> I fixed my grip on the broom. “Thank you, sir. A good day to you as
> well.”
>
MIKE: No one will be admitted during the gripping “Greeting” scene!
> Xigbar picked up an apple. “How old are you turning again today?” he
> asked, before taking a bite.
TOM(Kazumi): Err...Seventeen! Blue! Pass!
>
> A lump formed in my throat and I couldn’t make it go away.
> “E-eighteen, sir.”
>
> “Ah. So, what does it feel like to be an adult?”
>
JOEL(Kazumi): Shouldn't you know, sir?
> “No different than when I was seventeen, sir.” I quickly swept the
> collected dirt into a pan and dumped it into the trash can.
TOM: A metaphor for the story?
CROW: No, just a metaphor for her life.
*Joel and Mike wince*
> “Now, please excuse me, sir. I have to go do the rest of my chores.” I
> wanted to get away from him as fast as I could.
>
> “Wait a second.” He said as he grabbed a hold of my arm. He backed me
> against the counter, placing his face near mine. “I still have to
> give you your present, and I’d rather not wait till later.”
>
TOM: Uh...
CROW: Should we really be reading this?
MIKE(intrigued): Quiet! This might actually be interesting!
JOEL(Outraged): Mike!
MIKE: What?
> I turned my head away. “Sir, please let me go. Superior will be angry
> if I don’t finish my work.”
>
> “Shush, he doesn’t need to know.” He held my chin, running his thumb
> across my quivering bottom lip. “You know, I’ve been watching you for
> awhile now. You’ve grown so much since I first met you.”
>
TOM(Xigbar): You're ripening well, my dear...
> I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, but all sound escaped me.
MIKE: In a fanfic, no one can hear you scream...
> My entire body was shaking.
*Mike leans closer*
TOM: Uh, Mike...what're you doing?
> His breath was hot on my face and I could smell the apple on his breath.
*Mike leans even closer*
CROW: Mike...?
> My eyes started to water up so I squeezed them shut. I felt his lips brush
> against mine.
*Mike is leaning so close he's on the edge of his seat*
JOEL(Whispering): You're gonna fall...
> Then suddenly I could no longer feel his body pressing against me. I
> opened my eyes to see Xigbar shoved against the wall, an arm pressed
> to his throat. It was another member of the organization, his hood up.
>
*Mike falls over onto the theatre floor*
MIKE: D'oh!
*Joel shakes his head*
JOEL: Told ya...
> Xigbar gasped and struggled to pry the arm off. He coughed, his face
> starting to turn blue. The person released him and took a step back.
> “What the hell were you doing?” The person hissed.
>
TOM(Xigbar): I was...applying chapstick to her lips! Yes, that's it!
>
> Xigbar took in several deep breaths. He glared at the man. “None of
> your damn business!”
>
> “I wonder if Xemnas would feel the same way.”
>
TOM(Singing): I know you feel the same way I do...
> “Whatever.” Xigbar turned and left, after waving at me. “I’ll see you
> later, Kazumi. We’ll finish this then.” I shuddered.
> My savior
CROW: Jesus?
TOM: Muhammad?
MIKE: Buddha?
CROW: Moses?
TOM: Confucius?
MIKE: Shiva?
> sighed, annoyed. “Asshole.”
MIKE&BOTS: Oh.
JOEL: Well that's a weird name...
> He started to leave, but I grabbed his arm.
> He looked back at me. His face was overshadowed by
> the hood. “What?”
>
> I gulped. “I-I wanted to th-thank you, for saving me.”
TOM(Axel): Two hundred bucks, cash, and no trying to pass IOUs again!
> I cursed myself for stuttering. “Thank you, sir.”
>
MIKE: Uh, Kazumi, honey? That's not how you curse someone.
CROW: Yeah, it goes more like this. Ahem. YOU—
*Joel clamps Crow's beak shut with his hand*
JOEL: Shush.
> He nodded. “Xigbar’s a jack ass; don’t let him get to you.”
>
MIKE(Kazumi): But I'm out of Xigbar-B-Gone!
> “Y-yeah…” Damn it, I did it again. I scolded myself. “Um, w-would you
> mind taking down your h-hood so I can tell who you are and th-thank
> you p-properly.”
>
> “Sure, why not.” He pulled down his hood
ALL: Aah!
*They prepare to cover their eyes*
> and a mass of red spikes came out.
*They all let out a sigh of relief*
TOM: When Sonic the Hedgehog goes horribly, horribly wrong.
> Beneath each of his cold emerald eyes was a black line.
> “The name’s Axel, kid. A-X-E-L, got it memorized?”
>
TOM(Kazumi): Sorry, what was that?
> I nodded. “Of course, Axel, sir. You’re number VIII, right?
> You're the one who fought with the key blade master first, correct?”
>
TOM: Wasn’t it technically Marluxia?
CROW: Actually, if you really want to get technical it was Xemnas.
TOM: What? When?
CROW: Remember? Final Mix? The new superboss? That was Xemnas.
TOM: Final Mix? But it didn’t come to North America! It doesn’t count!
CROW: Yes it does!
TOM: No it—
JOEL(Chuckling): Okay, you two…that’s enough.
> Axel sighed. “Yeah, that’s me. You want anything else, or can I go?”
>
JOEL(Mafia Guy): You want I should go rub somebody out?
> “O-oh! I’m so sorry, sir!” I bowed. “I didn’t mean to be a bother.
> Please forgive me.”
>
MIKE(Axel): Fine, but next time, you're outta here!
> “It’s fine.” He turned to walk away but paused. “Hey, kid? What’s
> your name?”
>
CROW: I'm David Hasselhoff.
TOM: Bond. James Bond.
MIKE: Darkwing Duck!
JOEL: Call me Ishmael.
> I smiled at his back. “My name’s Kazumi, sir. Thank you for asking.”
>
> He looked back at me and I could’ve sworn his eyes were a tiny bit
> warmer. “I’ll see you again sometime, Kazumi.”
>
JOEL(Axel. Spookily): In the re-runs!
> My heart sped up. “Y-yes, sir…”
>
> jdhfkjsdhtishdfkjhs
ALL: What the—?!
CROW: Did Kainichi just fall on the keyboard...?
>
> “Hey, Demyx?” I spoke up as I scrubbed the floor of Demyx’s, number
> IX of the organization, bathroom.
JOEL: Oh, I get it! It's a scene change line!
> Demyx was the only member I could really call my friend and talk to.
>
MIKE(Kazumi): Everybody else hated and feared my worship of Satan.
> Demyx was sitting on his bed, fiddling with his sitar. “Yeah, what is
> it, ‘Zumi?”
>
TOM(Kazumi): It's a guitar from India, but that's not important right
now!
> “What do you know about number VIII, Axel?”
>
JOEL(Minniweagan): Oh I hear that Axel boy's just a good kid
MIKE(Minniweagan): Oh, yes, he helped me out down in the market the
other day...what a good boy he is.
> “Ax?” Demyx was now leaning in the doorway. “Why do you want to know?
> You see him?”
>
TOM(Demyx): Because we're all getting really worried about you...
> I nodded, sitting up. “He helped me out earlier. Xigbar came at me
> and Axel pulled him off. He…had a weird look in his eyes.
MIKE(Kazumi): It was...dry...with a touch of...vinegar.
> Are you friends with him?”
>
> Demyx nodded and sat down on the toilet.
*Everyone cringes and covers their eyes*
JOEL: Oh, yuck!
CROW: Have you no shame, man?! No shame?!
> “Ax’s my buddy, but he’s been different lately.
*Mike risks peeking at the screen*
MIKE: Oh, okay guys, we're clear.
TOM: Whew.
> You remember that one kid, Roxas?
CROW(Kazumi): Who?
> The one who left?
CROW(Kazumi): Oh, him!
> Well, him and Axel were best friends. When Rox left it really
> tore him up.
MIKE(Demyx): And I mean really tore him up. Trust me, you didn’t want
to have to clean up that mess.
> He tried to stop him, he even tried to bring him back,
> but he came back empty handed. Ever since then he’s been colder, and
> he gets agitated easier.”
>
CROW(Demyx): But at least he doesn't hit me...too often...
JOEL: Getting a little dark there, Crow?
CROW: I can't help it...
*Crow starts to cry. Mike pats him on the shoulder*
MIKE: Hang in there, Crow.
> “Oh, poor Axel…” I looked at the floor. “I think I remember Roxas. He
> was kinda nice but never seemed like he belonged here.”
TOM(Kazumi): Since everyone else here is a murderous psychopath.
> I stood and brushed off my knees. “He was the key blade master’s Nobody…”
>
MIKE: But I thought the key blade master was a Nobody.
TOM: So the Nobody's a Somebody?
CROW: No no no, the Somebody's a Nobody!
JOEL: Everybody's Somebody?
MIKE: No, everybody's a Nobody!
ALL: Third base!
> Demyx stood as well. He rubbed my shoulder. “Here’s some advice, stay
> away from Axel. If he gets angry he’ll hurt you. And Ax can hurt real
> bad.”
>
CROW(Demyx): Like, this one time, he took a—
*Joel clamps Crow's beak shut again*
JOEL: Don't make me put you in time-out.
CROW(Muffled): I'll be good...
> I shrugged. “I can handle pain, Dem. Well, I’m done with my chores
> for today,
MIKE: So it's time for some Satan worshiping!
> so I guess I’ll head to bed.”
MIKE: Or...that.
> I smiled at him.
TOM: This smile brought to you by Crest!
> “Thanks for talking with me.”
>
> Demyx grinned and ruffled my hair, which he knew I hated. “Take care
> of yourself, ‘Zumi. Keep an eye out for Xigbar.”
>
> “Sure, Dem.”
>
> sdjhflawieuhfksdseifh
*The fanfic freezes on the screen*
ALL: Huh?
JOEL: Oh…guess it’s time for a break.
TOM: Fine with me!
Joel picked up Tom and followed Mike and Crow as they exited the
theatre.
(DOOR ONE)
(DOOR TWO)
(DOOR THREE)
(DOOR FOUR)
(DOOR FIVE)
(DOOR SIX)
“Hi guys!” the voice of Erhardt announced as the quartet walked onto
the bridge. Erhardt’s chimpy face lit up the viewscreen with a bright
smile as he waved.
“Oh, uh, hi…Frank, was it?” Mike blinked at the viewscreen, a wee bit
confused. “Where’s Dr. F. and Pearl?”
Erhardt shrugged. “Dr. F. and Pearl had to go deal with the MSU—
that’s the Mad Scientists Union. They’re the ones funding us and
apparently they wanted to renegotiate our funding now that we’ve got
you guys on the Satellite!” He picked up a clipboard and scribbled
some notes down. “So they’re making me watch you guys while they’re
away. I just thought you might want to know.”
Mike glanced back at the others and shrugged. “Oh, okay then.” A
moment of silence passed. “Say, uh, Frank, can you tell us a little
bit about yourself?”
Erhardt raised a bushy eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“Well, we know Dr. F. and Pearl—from our own universe, sure, but they
don’t seem any different here—but we don’t know you.”
Erhardt smiled warmly; he didn’t get a chance to talk about himself
very often. “You want to know how I got involved with them?” A nod of
affirmation. “Well, you know how it is…you’ve just graduated from
college with a useless fine arts degree, there aren’t any jobs
around…”
“Oh, do I know that one,” Mike muttered bitterly.
“Well, anyway, I found out about the position from some shady guy in
a dark alley—he hid his face in a purple cloak and kept referring to
some kind of quest or something—...and here I am!” He gestured happily
towards his white lab coat. “It’s not the best job in the universe,
sure…I’m abused, insulted, experimented on—you wouldn’t believe the
crazy thing they did involve a nuclear reactor the other day—but hey,
it’s a living. And besides, I get to work on an experiment designed to
take over the world! What’s not to love?”
“Well…I suppose…” Mike responded politely, though he didn’t really
agree at all.
“So why do they call you Bobo?” Crow spoke up.
A wan grin lit up Erhardt’s face. “Oh, that’s a long story…it all
started back when I was in middle school—I was the first one to grow
facial hair, you see—“
Mike, Joel, and the Bots decided to tune out the inevitable droning.
“So you guys holding out okay?” Joel whispered.
Tom danced a little, his best imitation of a nod. “Uh-huh. Just
needed to get the old rhythm back.”
“Everyone couldn’t help laughing at the kung-fu,” Erhardt continued,
blissfully unaware of the side conversation.
“Mike?” Joel turned to the other human.
Mike cracked his neck a little. “Yep, like Tommy said, just needed to
warm up.”
“Uh-huh,” Crow agreed, though his voice shook a little. Joel patted
his shoulder.
“And then the zoo incident…”
“Great,” Joel whispered with a smile. “We gotta stick together, after
all.” The others could only nod at that.
“And that’s how I became known as Bobo!” Erhardt suddenly concluded.
A little alarm clock nearby rang fiercely. Erhardt glanced at it and
did a double-take. “Looks like it’s time for you guys to go back into
the theatre!” Without another word, he fed the next part of the fanfic
into the feeder.
Alarms wailed and lights flashed all over the place. “Oh, we’ve got
FANFIC sign!” everyone shouted as they clambered back into the
theatre.
(Continued In Part Two)
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| Re: MFT9K Episode I: Hands to Scorch My Skin [message #161602 is a reply to message #161601] |
Thu, 22 May 2008 20:59  |
|
|
Originally posted by: PIcaRDMPC
(DOOR SIX)
(DOOR FIVE)
(DOOR FOUR)
(DOOR THREE)
(DOOR TWO)
(DOOR ONE)
Joel carried Tom into the theatre and set him in the far-left
seat as the others sat down in their normal chairs. “So, recap…
Kazumi’s a servant, nearly raped by Xigbar only to be saved by Axel,
and gets a pep talk from Demyx,” Tom summed up as the fanfic started
back up.
>
> The next day I was surprised to find Axel standing outside my room
> when I went to do my chores for the day.
CROW: Hello…
TOM: Hello…
MIKE: Hello…
JOEL: Hello…
ALL: HELLO!
*They all pause for a moment*
TOM: You know…that bit just doesn’t work with four people, does it?
MIKE: Nope.
> I blinked a few times in
> surprise. “A-Axel, sir? What are you doing here?”
JOEL(Axel, suave): I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd drop
by...
>
> Axel looked annoyed. “Xemnas found out about what Xigbar did so he
> said you have the day off.
TOM: Yes, when working for Organization XIII, you too can get a free
day off if you're sexually assaulted!
> And to make sure Xigbar doesn’t attack you
> again, I’m supposed to keep an eye on you.” He pushed himself off the
> wall he’d been leaning against. “So, since I’m stuck with you, what
> do you want to do?”
CROW(Kazumi): Well there’s this neat video game called Kingdom Hearts
we could try!
*Tom makes a lot of loud crashing and booming noises*
MIKE(Axel): What was that?!
CROW(Kazumi): Oh, just the fourth wall. So you wanna play first?
>
> I was stunned for a second. “Uh…I…don’t really know…I’ve never really
> had a day off before so…”
TOM(Angry): What?!
MIKE: Yeah, that is a little harsh...
TOM: And it doesn't make any sense! She's a servant, not a slave! She
should get days off!
JOEL: Tom, relax!
*Tom fidgets, looking as though he wants to continue arguing, but he
settles down*
>
> “Oh, take your time deciding. Not like there’s anything I’d like to
> do with my time.” He grumbled.
CROW: Geez, talk about grumpy.
>
> I swallowed thickly. “Wh-what would you like to do, sir? I feel bad
> about taking up your time so…”
MIKE(Kazumi): ...maybe we could just...talk?
>
> He stared at me before his hand shot out, seizing my wrist.
> “Come on.” He began pulling me down the halls, turning this way and that.
JOEL: Scenic tour guide, he's not.
> Within a few minutes we were in the training hall.
>
> I stared in awe at how big it was before wincing in pain.
TOM(Kazumi, singing): There's far too much to take in here!(Talking)
AND IT REALLY HURTS!
> The wrist he had in his hand was starting to burn. “Sir, can you let go please.
> You’re burning me.”
MIKE: And we have title!
>
> Axel glanced at me before dropping my wrist. “Sorry, sometimes I
> forget how hot my body is.”
*Everyone bursts into laughter*
MIKE: Talk about ego...
TOM(Axel): My body's so hot, the Sun needs me to heat it up!
CROW(Kazumi): I can see that...
> He looked forward again and raised his hand.
> Several Dusks appeared. Suddenly there was a pair of flaming
> chakram in his hands.
TOM: Then they all burst into an improv dance number!
MIKE: Oh my God it’s West Side Story all over again!
> “This is what I like to do with my time, kid.
> You just sit and watch, so you don’t get hurt.”
JOEL(Axel): Let a man handle this!
CROW(Kazumi, Whispering): Hmph...jerk.
>
> I nodded dumbly and sat down on the floor and watched him attack the
> Dusks. Soon he got bored and summoned Dancers and Creepers.
MIKE: He summoned Richard Simmons?
> He fought nonstop for an hour before started to show signs of tiring, but he
> still didn’t stop.
TOM: Needless to say, it was too exciting to show here.
> There was only one Dancer left and he couldn’t
> seem to hit it. Every time he sent one of his chakram flying at it,
> it would just dodge out of the way.
MIKE(Axel): Ah, come on, let me hit you!
JOEL(Dancer): Nope!
MIKE(Axel): Please! (Whispering) You're making me look bad!
JOEL(Dancer): Nuh-uh! No way!
It managed to grab him and fling him.
>
> BAM!
CROW: This cheesy sound effect brought to you by Batman!
TOM: Batman! Making cheesy sound effects for nearly seventy years.
>
> He slammed against a wall. The dancer, happy with its victory,
> disappeared to celebrate.
*Mike winces*
JOEL: Something wrong?
MIKE: No...just reminded me of my ex-girlfriend...
>
> I ran over to him. “Axel, sir! Are you okay?!” I grabbed his arm. It
> was burning even through his sleeve. “Axel…”
>
> Axel jerked his arm away, glaring forward and grinding his teeth. His
> eyes were cold as ice. “Damn it.”
TOM: Yeah, I'd be pissed too if my body temperature was so out of
whack.
MIKE: His eyes are like ice and his arm is burning...what, is his leg
going to be soaked next?
>
> It was at that time that something began to eat at my brain.
CROW: Om nom nom!
JOEL: Looks like they forgot to check for zombies...
> How can his eyes seem so cold while the rest of him is burning?
TOM: Oh, no, the fic is looping itself!
MIKE(Depressed Jimmy Neutron): Geez, I sure hope not...
>
> “Axel, sir, are you all right? You’re not hurt, are you?”
CROW(Axel): I—I…ugh…
*Crow mimes Axel collapsing*
TOM(Kazumi): Ah, nuts; I’m out of Phoenix Downs!
>
> He shoved me away and got to his feet. “Leave me alone! Leave me the
> hell alone! I can take care of myself, I don’t need you! I don’t need
> anybody!” his fingers had fire licking at them. “You understand that,
> you stupid kid?! I don’t need anybody!”
JOEL: Axel IS Lone Wolf!
CROW: Somebody needs a nap...
>
> I stared at his eyes. “Are you saying that to me, or to Roxas?”
*Mike places his face in his hand*
MIKE(McMahon): Not a good idea...
>
> SLAP!
>
> My head jerked to the side from the force of the blow. I blinked, a
> few tears slipping out of my eyes as I stared at him.
*They all wince*
JOEL: Sheesh...she didn't deserve that!
CROW: Yeah, Axel, you big jerk!
TOM: Why, I oughtta...
>
> Axel’s chest heaved heavily as he panted. “Shut up! You can’t talk
> about him! You don’t have the right!”
>
> I touched my cheek. “Yes, sorry, sir. Please forgive my insolence.”
MIKE(Kazumi, Whispering): While I secretly plan your demise...
CROW(Axel): What was that?!
MIKE(Kazumi): Nothing, nothing!
>
> “Just get out of my sight,” he spat.
>
> “Y-yes, sir.” I ran out, hoping he didn’t see the tears running down
> my cheeks.
*Joel rolls his eyes*
JOEL: He just acted like a complete jerk. Why does she care what he
thinks?
TOM: Because she's in love with him? Get with the program, Joel!
JOEL: I really don't see why...
> I went to the one place where I knew I could find some
> help; Demyx’s room. He was sitting on his bed, fiddling with his
> sitar as usual.
MIKE(Demyx): Man, I love Guitar Hero!
>
> Demyx looked up when he heard me enter. “Hey, ‘Zu…” he saw the tears
> and jumped to his feet. Immediately he was at my side. “Kazumi, what
> happened? Why are you crying? Did Xigbar come at you again?”
CROW(Singing): Xigbar's coming your way...
>
> I shook my head and sat down on his bed. “I-I don’t…know wh-why I’m
> crying l-like this…I’ve b-been hit a lot h-harder before…” I wiped my
> eyes.
MIKE: Geez, she's really being abused here!
TOM: She should call in the Strong Arm!
>
> Demyx’s face hardened. “Who hit you? I’ll kick the crap out of him.”
CROW(Demyx): And then I'll punch the piss out of him!
JOEL: Ick, Crow...
>
> “N-no!” I grabbed his sleeve. “It doesn’t matter. I’m the one who
> started it. I was a jerk.
TOM: Uh, no, honey, that's the Stockholm syndrome talking.
> I said things I shouldn’t have. Ax—”
>
> “Axel?! He’s the one who hit you?! I thought I told you to stay away
> from him!”
MIKE(Demyx): Why don't you ever listen to me?!
> Demyx was pacing now. “He snapped at you, didn’t he? He
> just lost control of himself and hit you…damn it, Ax…”
>
> I grabbed his arm. “It’s fine, Dem. I don’t care. I just need to stay
> out of his way.”
JOEL(Axel): You stay outta my way and you won’t be hurt, capiche?
>
> Demyx stared at me before setting a hand on top of my head. He
> sighed. “You’re too good a kid, Kazumi.”
>
> I smiled slightly. “I’m not a kid, Dem.”
>
> “Yeah, you are.”
MIKE(Kazumi): Am not!
TOM(Demyx): Are too!
MIKE(Kazumi): Am not!
TOM(Demyx): Are too!
MIKE(Kazumi): Am not!
TOM(Demyx): Are too, darn it!
>
> fsdjfbsdkjthfsdlgnsufrnh
JOEL: Gibberish: the stuff dreams are made of!
>
> My face paled as I stared at the chore list in front of me. Sometimes
> I could’ve sworn Xemnas was out to make my life a living hell.
CROW(Kazumi): The rest of the time I KNEW my life was a living hell.
> My chores for the day were as followed; clean Superior’s office, sweep
> the Hall of Empty Melodies, sharpen number III’s lances, and clean
> number VIII’s room.
TOM: Sharpen III's lances? Shouldn't he be doing that, since they’re
his weapons?
MIKE: Not if it's a euphemism...
*Joel cringes*
JOEL: Ew...
>
> I fisted my hair, groaning.
MIKE: SHE WHAT?!
CROW(Whining): Joel! Dr. Forrester and Pearl didn't say this was a
lemon!
TOM: This is getting interesting...hehehe...
JOEL: Actually, I think she just grabbed her hair and made a fist...
MIKE&BOTS: Oh.
CROW: That makes sense, actually…
> “Anything but that! How the hell am I supposed to stay out of his way if I have
> to go in his room?! Ah!” I beat my head as I walked to Xemnas’s office.. “I
> hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life.” I chanted.
TOM: Moments later, in a fit of excessive chanting, Kazumi collapsed
into a fetal position and sucked her thumb to oblivion.
MIKE: Harsh.
>
> “And why’s that?” Xemnas asked from his desk chair, looking up from
> his book.
JOEL: Busted!
>
> I gulped and bowed my head. “N-No reason, sir. I didn’t know you were
> in here.”
CROW(Kazumi): Please don't put me in the boo-box again!
>
> “Hn.” Xemnas returned to his book.
TOM(Xemnas): You're not worth my time.
>
> I got to work, hoping to draw out my time. Unfortunately for me,
> Xemnas was a very tidy person, so all I really had to do in his
> office was vacuum the carpet. I paused in his doorway before whirling
> around. I bowed my head.
MIKE(Kazumi): I use clipped sentences. Like this. And this.
> “Sir, please, may I have the rest of the day off?”
>
> Xemnas stared in surprise. “The…day off? But you just had one.” He
> raised an eyebrow. “Is there something wrong?”
JOEL(Xemnas): Because if there is...
>
> “N-no, sir. It’s just…well, you see…I guess I’m not feeling too well
> today. May I please go rest in my room?”
TOM: So she's using the restro—
JOEL: No.
>
> He seemed to think it over. He sorted through some papers on his
> desk. With a sigh, he finally spoke.
CROW(Kazumi): Ooooh, I hope he says yes!
> “Very well. Just go and clean Axel’s room, then you can rest.”
CROW(Kazumi): Rats.
> He smiled. “Please feel better soon, Kazumi.”
JOEL: Hey, Xemnas isn't nice! I call OOC!
TOM: Joel, EVERYONE’S been OOC so far. Not worth pointing out.
JOEL: Well, sure, but…
*Joel shuts up and pouts*
>
> I nodded. “Thank you…sir…” I turned and marched off to my doom.
MIKE: To she who is about to die...we salute you!
*Everyone salutes*
>
> I knocked softly on Axel’s door, silently praying that he wasn’t in
> there. My prayers went unanswered when I heard a muffled voice say
> “Come in.”
JOEL(Guard): ENTER.
> I opened the door slowly and stepped in. Axel was lying on
> his stomach on his bed, flipping through a book.
TOM: Trying desperately to read it before he accidentally set it on
fire.
CROW(Axel): Oh, darnit! Now I'll never know what happened after Spot
ran!
> “Most of the mess is on the floor.” He said, not looking up.
MIKE: So he's giving her the cold shoulder?
JOEL: Nah...it's lukewarm.
>
> I gaped at the floor, which was littered with empty cans, papers, and
> dirty clothes. I couldn’t help it when a quiet “Wow” escaped me.
TOM(Kazumi): This mess is so...so sexy!
CROW(Morgan Proctor): Dirty boy!
*Crow mimes jumping onto Axel and kissing his face*
>
> Axel rolled his eyes, which were still fixed on the book. “Yeah,
> yeah. Just get to work.”
TOM(Axel): I don't pay you to flap your gums!
>
> I frowned and muttered, “You don’t have to be so rude.” under my
> breath, which he did not appreciate.
MIKE: But if she said it under her breath, how did he hear her?
CROW: Apparently Axel's got superhearing.
>
> “What the hell did you just—” he paused when he saw my face. His eyes
> narrowed. “You.” He sat up. “What are you doing here?”
TOM: You have a nasty habit of surviving…
>
> “I’m supposed to clean your room.” I answered simply. “Not my choice.
> Xemnas said I had to.”
MIKE(Torgo): AnD tHe mAsTEr dOEsn'T LiKe It wHEn i dON't DO whAT hE
sAYs...
> I got to work, doing my best to ignore the stare he had fixed on me. I’d managed to get
> most of the clothes into a hamper before it began to overflow.
JOEL: We're approaching critical mass!
CROW: Quick, use the Tide before it's too late!
TOM: It's not working! We’ve only got fifteen seconds!
CROW: Then we have only one choice...
MIKE: We must use...the bleach.
> I figured I could go get a second hamper later so I began to pick up the trash.
> “When was the last time someone cleaned your room?”
MIKE(Kazumi): And I mean seriously! This place is rank!
>
> Axel frowned and looked away. “About a month. I…I don’t like having
> servants do it. Rox did it for me.”
CROW: So...why did Xemnas tell Kazumi to clean the place up then?
MIKE: Like I said...the place is rank.
> His nose scrunched up. “I hate cleaning.”
>
> I chuckled. “I can tell.”
>
> A few more minutes of silence filled the room before Axel spoke
> again. “Hey, Kazumi, I…well, I need…err…I’m sorry.
TOM(Kira Nerys): Sorry? We're way passed sorry!
> For hitting you. I shouldn’t have…I just have some problems
> when I get angry. My blood boils and…”
CROW(Axel): ...I start thinking I'm someone named Bruce Banner...
>
> “You’re hot.” I stated before I realized what I said. My face turned
> red at the slight smirk on his face. “N-not like that! Oh god, not
> like that! I mean, your body…it’s burning. Y-you feel like you’re on
> fire.”
TOM: Nice recovery there, Kazumi.
MIKE: Eh...I'd give it a 6 at most.
>
> Axel laughed. He held up his hand and a small flame rose up from his
> palm. “Fury of Dancing Flames. That’s my codename, you know.”
JOEL(Axel): I am the god of hellfire!
>
> I watched the flame dance for a bit before looking up at Axel’s eyes.
> In them the small blaze seemed even brighter and I realized that his
> eyes weren’t frozen anymore.
JOEL: Oh, yuck, his eyes melted!
TOM: Great...now they'll get all over the place...stain the carpet...
CROW(Kazumi a la Peasant): More work?!
> They were soft, warm like the fire he held.
MIKE: Axel IS the Hand of Flame!
> I smiled. Maybe he’s not so bad…
TOM: Hmm...maybe she is right. Maybe he is a nice guy after all!
> Then Axel closed his fist, killing the fire.
TOM: Then again...
> He stood. “Alright, to make myself feel better, I’m going to help you.
> Just tell me what to do.”
>
> “Really?” he nodded. “But you hate cleaning.” Again he just nodded..
JOEL(Kazumi): Are you really, really sure?
MIKE(Axel): Yes.
JOEL(Kazumi): Really really?
MIKE(Axel): Yes, damn it!
JOEL(Kazumi): I just want to be sure because—
MIKE(Terran Marine): Are you gonna give me orders?!
> I sighed. “Fine, you can help.” I pointed to the overflowing hamper,
> “You see that? Take it to the hall and put it in your shoot,
CROW(Kazumi): And the shoot’ll chute the laundry into the laundry
room…
> then bring it back. Then I need you to run and get me a few more trash
> bags. I’m not leaving here until your room is spotless.”
JOEL(Kazumi): Now hop to it, soldier!
>
> Axel saluted playfully. “Aye, aye, ma’am!”
>
> gfhgfytgkjhg
MIKE: It speaks in tongues...
CROW: It rattles and shakes in the night...
JOEL: It takes over your dog...
TOM: Get ready for the sequel nobody wanted...
ALL: The Exorcist II: Gfhgfytgkjhg.
TOM: This time...it's personal.
>
> “And he was all ‘It’s over!’ and he grabbed my clones and used them
> to destroy the others!” Demyx exclaimed, waving his arms.“He was
> swinging the Keyblade around and it totally sucked! Then I had to run
> away and when I got back I realized I’d dropped the Olympus Stone, so
> Superior yelled at me! It’s not my fault! I told them they shouldn’t
> send me but they said, ‘You’ll do fine it’s a simple mission’ and
> when I fail I said ‘I told you so’ and then Superior told me if I
> screw up one more time he’d turn me into a dusk and—”
MIKE(Walton Simons): Jesus Christ, Demyx!
TOM: Cut down on the caffeine already! Sheesh!
>
> I pressed a hand to Demyx’s mouth. “Dem, shut up and breathe. Your
> face is turning blue.”
CROW: Thank you!
>
> Demyx took in a few deep breaths before smiling sheepishly. “Sorry,
> but I had a lot to say and breathing’s such a waste of time…”
JOEL(Demyx): I mean, oxygen? Seriously? What a load of baloney!
>
> “I know, but it’s very essential.” I smiled at him. “You’ve had a
> hard time.” Then he suddenly pounced on me. “Demyx!”
MIKE(Kazumi): This is...so sudden!
>
> He giggled and buried his face in my neck. “I missed ya, ‘Zumi!”
TOM: The part of Demyx will now be played by a four year old girl.
> he peered at me. “You didn’t have any trouble while I was gone, did ya?”
>
> “No, no.” I said, letting out a sigh. “Axel apologized and we’re on
> better terms. He even helped me with some of my chores.” I grinned
> and sat up, grabbing his shoulders. “Now tell me everything you saw
> while you were out! I wanna know all the details!”
CROW(Kazumi): Tell me what I want to know!
TOM(Demyx): You want answers?!
CROW(Kazumi): I WANT THE TRUTH!
TOM(Demyx): YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
>
> Demyx laughed and told me. He always did that when he left the
> castle; told me everything he saw, and I always listened intently. I
> could imagine the worlds out there, worlds I wished desperately to
> see. It had been three years since I’d been taken to the castle and I
> hadn’t left once. Even before that I’d never left my hometown. I
> wanted to see the places Demyx and the others saw, wanted it so bad I
> could taste it. “I’ll see it all one day! When I finally get away
> from here I’ll go there!” I would always say at the end of his
> stories.
MIKE(Singing): Wish I could be…part of that world!
JOEL: So she’s exactly like Sora?
>
> I closed my eyes, smiling. I could see myself in the stands of the
> Coliseum and cheering for the fighters. I could see me shaking hands
> with Hercules, congratulating him on his latest win.
TOM(Kazumi): I could see myself being carried away by police after one
too many drinks…
CROW: Only days later, Hercules managed to get a restraining order…
>
> Demyx ruffled my hair affectionately. “You’ll get there one day, I know it.”
CROW: She can Go the Distance!
>
> I nodded. “Uh-huh!” I looked at the clock; it was getting late. “I
> better go to bed.” I pecked him on the cheek and stood. “I’ll see you
> tomorrow, okay?”
TOM: Speaking of late, I think it’s time for a break.
JOEL: Good idea.
>
> He grinned. “Of course, ‘Zumi!”
>
> bnjyrtrgfkyurfygkl
*The fanfic freezes on the screen*
Joel picked up Tom and followed Mike and Crow out of the theatre.
(DOOR ONE)
(DOOR TWO)
(DOOR THREE)
(DOOR FOUR)
(DOOR FIVE)
(DOOR SIX)
Crow and Tom stood behind desks which were on either side of a
large podium, where Joel hovered, wearing a large “Judge” sticker on
his red jumpsuit.. The desks faced each other; upon them were stacks
of papers piled high; Mike sat nearby next to Gypsy, an eager audience
of two.
“We will now start the debate!” Joel announced. “Representing
the side of long fanfics is Crow! Representing the side of short
fanfics is Tom!” Joel withdrew a shiny buffalo nickel from his pocket
and flipped it. “Crow, you go first.”
“Ahem.” Crow glanced down at his papers to find his place.
“Fanfiction, like other forms of writing, can be luxuriously full of
detail and feature many rich characters, locations, and stories. It
can take a lot of words and pages to give the reader the good quality
they deserve, and that’s why long fanfiction is better.”
“Nice opening,” Mike commented. Gypsy shushed him.
Joel glanced over at Tom Servo. “Tom, your rebuttal?”
“Joel, Crow’s got it completely wrong! Fanfiction by its very
nature relies upon preset universes, characters, and so on and so
forth. There’s no need to spend huge amounts of time establishing
unnecessary detail when what’s really important is whatever plot
you’re working on. I say fanfiction should get to the point and remain
short and sweet!” Tom danced a little, clearly proud of his rebuttal.
“Crow?”
Tom stared straight into Crow’s yellow eyes to try and through
him off. Crow ignored him. “Joel, Tom fails to see that fanfiction
isn’t always limited to what’s already been established! Why, just
look at today’s fic: we’ve got an original character! Kazumi needs a
lot of explanation and detail alone just to flesh her out. And look at
the story being told! Joel, by its very nature fanfiction can’t stick
to just what’s been pre-established, or else it’ll just be re-hashing
what we’ve already seen.”
Without prompting, Tom immediately retorted, “And why should
originality have to be so long? Like you said, look at today’s fic:
Kainichi is showing us Kazumi through the whole plot rather than
wasting huge amounts of time fleshing her out before getting to the
story itself!”
“Which is in itself long!”
“Too long if you ask me!”
“Well I didn’t ask you!”
“Oh, yeah, well—“
Joel whipped out a large gavel and banged it on his podium.
“That’s enough!” Crow and Tom immediately quieted, both look rather
sheepish. After a moment, Joel continued, “Crow, Tom, we’ll hear your
closing statements now. Crow, you first.”
With a glower at Tom, Crow spoke. “Ahem. In order to truly
convey the story and its characters, fanfiction should be long. As
such, long fanfics are better than short fanfics.” He gestured to Tom.
Tom said, “It’s simply clear that for a fanfic to be good, it
has to be short and to the point. If it goes longer, it just becomes
bogged down in meaningless detail and pointless extra plot. I say
short fanfics are better than long!”
Mike and Gypsy applauded the end of the debate. Crow and Tom
stared at their maker as he stood there pondering. “So, who won?” Crow
asked impatiently after a few moments.
Joel raised a hand and started to speak, but klaxons and
lights interrupted him. “Save it for later, we’ve got FANFIC sign!”
(Continued in Part Three)
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| Re: MFT9K Episode I: Hands to Scorch My Skin [message #161603 is a reply to message #161602] |
Thu, 22 May 2008 21:03 |
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Originally posted by: PIcaRDMPC
(DOOR SIX)
(DOOR FIVE)
(DOOR FOUR)
(DOOR THREE)
(DOOR TWO)
(DOOR ONE)
Joel carried Tom into the theatre and set him in the far-left
seat as the others sat down in their normal chairs. “Another recap:
Kazumi fights with Axel, gets another pep talk from Demyx, cleans
Axel’s room, and talks to Demyx…again,” Crow summed up as the fanfic
started back up.
>
> Two weeks had gone by without much excitement.
JOEL(Gary Shandling): Okay, two weeks just passed…
> I was walking through the halls, bored out of my mind. Demyx was out
> doing something for Xemnas and I hadn’t seen Axel for a couple days.
> I was hoping Demyx would get home soon; he’d promised to bring me
> photos when he returned. I couldn’t wait.
TOM(Kazumi): Demyx! The photos are all out of focus again!
CROW(Demyx): Sorry! I was taking them too fast!
>
> I walked into my small room and plopped down on the twin-sized bed. I
> took in a deep breath and slowly relaxed. Before I know it Dem will
> be here, showing me pictures of Hallow Bastion.
CROW: Hollow Bastion is sacred now?
JOEL: Must’ve been blessed by Saint Ansem.
> He’ll tell me everything he did, the people he saw, and the things he found.
>
> There was a soft knock on my door and I sat up. “Come in!” The door
> opened and Axel stepped in, his face grim. He shut the door. “What’re
> you doin’ here, Axel?” I asked, not liking the expression on his
> face.
*Soap Opera Music starts playing*
TOM(Axel): Kazumi…I…I’m in love with someone else!
MIKE(Kazumi): No…who?!
TOM(Axel): …Demyx!
JOEL&CROW: Gasp!
MIKE(Kazumi): No…it can’t be! For you see…I’m pregnant! With his
child!
JOEL&CROW: Dun dun duuuun!
>
> Axel cleared his throat. “Kazumi, I…I have some bad news.” He looked
> away from my face. “Demyx, while he was in Hallow Bastion…” he
> swallowed, “he…faded into the darkness.” I could feel my body grow
> cold. “I’m sorry, Kazumi, he’s gone.”
CROW: What?!
TOM: No…
*Mike sniffs*
MIKE: I’ll never forget him…he was always so hyper…and nuts…
JOEL: Eh, he’ll be back. They’re always back in things like this.
>
> I didn’t move; I didn’t speak. No, it was impossible. Demyx couldn’t
> be gone. Not my Demyx. Not my klutz of a best friend.
CROW(Kazumi): He’s too clumsy to die!
> My body went numb as I stared at Axel. “You’re wrong.” I said in a whisper. I
> couldn’t even feel him hugging me as the tears started to roll down
> my cheeks. “You’re wrong. You’re wrong.” I chanted it, as if that
> would make it true. “You’re wrong.”
TOM(Announcer): And for the third year in a row, the prize for best
chanter goes to Kazumi! Let’s hear it for Kazumi folks!
*Joel, Mike, and Crow applaud*
>
> Axel hugged me tighter and I thought I felt something warm drip onto
> my shoulder. Was he crying? Why would he cry? I was the one who lost
> my best friend. I was the one who lost the only one who ever
> understood me. “I’m so sorry.” He whispered, not letting go.
ALL: Aww…
*Joel sniffs and wipes his eye*
JOEL: He’s so…so sweet…
TOM: Somebody get me a toothbrush…
>
> I shook my head. “You’re wrong! He…he can’t be! He promised me!” I
> broke down, letting out loud sobs. “He promised me! He said he’d be
> back and bring me pictures!”
MIKE(Kazumi): Sure, they’re always blurry and out of focus, but
they’re mine, damn it!
> my nails dug into Axel’s skin as a clutched him. “Damn it! He can’t do this to me!”
>
> Axel continued to hold me, rocking me slightly. Slowly his warmth
> crept over me, killing the coldness that I was wrapped in. I buried
> my face in his shoulder. His cloak was wet from my tears. “Dem…” I
> would say quietly and he would shush me.
TOM(Singing): Hush little baby…don’t say a word…
CROW(Singing): Axel’s gonna buy you a firebird…
TOM(Singing): And if that firebird can’t fly…
CROW(Singing): Axel’s gonna make somebody die!
*Everyone glares at Crow*
CROW: What?
*Tom, Mike, and Joel all just shake their heads in shame*
>
> I don’t know how long we stayed like that, him holding me as if I was
> a small child and me hanging on to him, but before I knew it I was
> asleep.I was dreaming. In the dream I was free, living in a small
> house on a beach.
MIKE(Kazumi): And there was this strange man hanging around my door…
*All hum the tune to Gilligan’s Island*
> Demyx was there, though I don’t remember where. I
> just remember him smiling at me and ruffling my hair.
JOEL: When he suddenly turned into a bear!
TOM: Eh, this reader just really doesn’t care.
>
> jkgugjkhlkjhkjgkl
CROW: Okay, I’ll bite: why is Kainichi using gibberish for scene
change?
MIKE: Because she gets paid by the letter? How should I know?
>
> I stood in a small room. I couldn’t place it, but it looked so
> familiar. In a corner sat a young girl with long brown hair. Her pale
> face was tear streaked as she stared at the floor.
MIKE(Girl): Green and orange shag carpet…why?!
> She hugged her knees to her chest. She didn’t move when the door
> opened and a blond man walked in.
*They all hum the theme to the Dick Van Dyke show*
>
> I stared at him. I…I know him…
TOM: Mind filling us in then?
>
> The man walked over to the girl and crouched down next to her. “Hey,
> kid,” he spoke softly, “you okay?”
CROW(Girl): No! I’ve been waiting out here for hours! What took you so
long?!
>
> The girl shook her head. “No! I hate it here! I wanna go home!”
JOEL(Singing): Day-o! Day-day-day-o!
MIKE(Singing): Daylight come and she wanna go home!
>
> He sat in front of her. “Things aren’t so bad. I mean, you’ve been
> here a year, haven’t you found anything you like?”
CROW: Oh that makes perfect sense—huh?!
TOM: She’s been there for a YEAR and they’re only just NOW talking
about this?!
> she just shook her head again. “C’mon, kid, there has to be something.”
>
> That’s when it hit me
TOM(Noir): The shock hit me like a falling piano…I never did recover
from that day…
> ; the man was Demyx! And that girl was me when I
> was younger. I tried to run to him but my feet wouldn’t move. “Demyx!
> Demyx, it’s me!” I called to him. “Dem!”
MIKE: And suddenly it’s Ghost all over again.
JOEL: But Demyx is the one who’s dead…
MIKE: Quiet, you!
>
> The girl smiled slightly and sniffled. “Well, I got a friend like
> you…”
ALL(Singing): You’ve got a friend in me…
>
> Demyx smiled and ruffled her hair. “That’s right; you always got me,
> ‘Zumi.”
ALL(Still Singing): Yes, you’ve got a friend in me!
>
> The younger me laughed and batted his hand away. “Don’t do that, I
> hate it!” she hugged him.
CROW: And she squeezed him and called him George!
TOM: Poor Demyx was never the same after that…
> “Promise you’ll always be here?”
>
> “Promise.”
JOEL(Demyx): At least until Sora beats the crap out of me…
>
> Darkness engulfed me again
CROW(Rocky J. Squirrel): Again?!
TOM: Wait, when did it happen the first time?
> and I could feel myself sweating. I
> blinked opened my eyes and saw more black. Huh?
MIKE: Hey, don’t look at us. You’re the author.
> I stared forward until it hit me; it was an Organization cloak.
> I looked up to see Axel’s sleeping face. My face got hot as I slowly
> realized what was happening. Axel was holding me.
*Tom imitates sleazy trombone music*
JOEL: Gee, I wonder why…
>
> I swallowed at the lump in my throat. My arms were pinned to my sides
> so I couldn’t move them. “A-Axel, sir…” I said quietly, “Axel, wake
> up.”
TOM(Kazumi): Wake up, honey! It’s time for work!
>
> Axel’s nose twitched but he continued to sleep peacefully.
>
> “Axel, please wake up!” I said loudly.
>
> Axel jolted up, me still in his arms. “Wha…” he blinked at me a few
> times before immediately pulling his arms away as if he’d just been
> burned. (no pun intended). I fell to the floor with a loud Thump.
*Crow imitates canned audience laughter*
JOEL: We’re on a collision course to wackiness!
> He jumped up and started to help me up. “I’m so sorry, Kazumi!”
TOM(Announcer): I’m So Sorry, Kazumi, the brand new Broadway Musical!
CROW(Announcer): Featuring lyrics by Andrew Lloyd Webber, it’s sure to
have you in stitches!
>
> I rubbed my sore butt as soon as I was steady on my feet. “Ow…” I
> gave him a look. “Why were you sleeping in my bed?”
MIKE(Axel): Uh…because it’s a Sleep Number bed?
>
> Axel’s face turned slightly red and he raised his hands defensively.
> “Y-you were freaking out so bad last night I thought you might…do
> something…drastic. Like running away or hurting yourself…so I stayed
> and I guess I fell asleep…”
*Crow laughs*
CROW: Remind me never to hire him for a suicide watch…
>
> “Why didn’t you just have Dem—” I froze, everything catching up with
> me. That’s right…Demyx is gone. I spun around and ran out the door,
> not knowing where I was going. I could hear Axel yelling after me but
> I ignored it.
JOEL: The part of Axel will now be played by a sock puppet.
*Mike holds up a sock puppet that looks vaguely like Axel*
MIKE(Sock Puppet): Hi!
>
> Before I knew it, I was standing in Demyx’s room. It was exactly the
> same, as if Demyx had never left. Rage was bubbling up in me and I
> kicked his dresser.
TOM(Dresser): Hey, what’d I do?!
*Tom mimes the dresser kicking back*
CROW(Kazumi): Owie owie owie…
> “You promised me!” I shouted angrily, “You
> bastard! Why make a promise you couldn’t keep?!” I grabbed a small
> vase of flowers from one of his bedside tables and threw it at the
> wall. Hot tears poured down my cheeks as I continued to destroy his
> room. “You said you’d always be here for me! Liar! Where are you
> now?!” I slid to the floor, my shoulders shaking with silent sobs.
> “How could you do this to me?” I asked quietly. “You were my best
> friend…I can’t make it without you…I need you…” I punched the floor.
*Everyone is stunned silent*
TOM: That was actually…touching…
MIKE: Yeah…I really feel for poor Kazumi.
JOEL: Eh, she’ll be okay. Any minute now Axel’ll show up …
>
> About an hour later
*Everyone falls out of their chairs*
ALL: D’oh!
> I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Axel.
> “C’mon, kid.”
*Everyone climbs back into their seats*
TOM: Sure took him long enough…
MIKE: Kazumi must be related to Speedy Gonzales.
>
> I stood and buried my face in his chest, not wanting him to see me
> cry. “I’m -hic- sorry.”
CROW(Kazumi): I—hic—got into the vodka again…
>
> He sighed and rubbed my back. “It’s fine.” He looked around the room..
> “You really did some damage. Why don’t you go back to your room, I’ll
> take care of all this.”
TOM(Axel): Yep, shouldn’t be too hard…just a little fire here, some
fire there…
>
> I nodded, slowly letting go of him. “Thanks…” I went back to my room
> and collapsed on my bed.
JOEL(Announcer): Collapsible Kazumi! Only $29.99 plus tax! Buy yours
today!
>
> hjkghluityugjg
CROW: Luit yu too, scene change! (Whispering) Whatever that means…
>
> I was washing the dishes a week later when I felt someone pulling on
> the back of my shirt.
JOEL(Gary Shandling): Okay, a week has just passed…
TOM: Time really flies in this fic, huh?
MIKE: Could’ve fooled me…
> I dropped the plate I’d been washing and it
> crashed to the floor. “What?” I looked at who was pulling me. “Axel?”
CROW: Well, duh! Who else would it be?
>
> Axel stopped and put his hand in front of him. A portal opened. He
> shoved me through it before going in, the portal closing behind him.
TOM: And suddenly it’s an episode of Sliders.
CROW(Kazumi): How long are we here for, Axel?
JOEL(Axel): Three years…
>
> I looked around. I was in a town full of neon lights. Axel pulled me
> back to prevent me from getting run over by a tram car.
MIKE: Unfortunately he pulled her into the path of another tram car.
*Tom makes a squishing noise*
TOM: Whoops…
>
> “Idiot, watch where you’re going!” he said, cursing.
>
> I looked around again, mesmerized by everything I was seeing. “Where
> are we? Why’d you bring me here?”
JOEL(Kazumi): And when can we get something to eat? I’m starving!
>
> Axel sighed. “You’ve been moping around the castle for the past week
> so I decided to do something about it. I remembered Demyx once told
> me you really wanted to go to another world one day, so here you are.
TOM(Axel): Jest call me a taxi, babe.
> Welcome to Twilight Town. Of course you can’t stay here but—” he was
> cut off as I tackled him, hugging him tightly.
>
> “Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!!” I cried out. “This is the nicest
> thing anyone’s ever done for me! Thanks so much!!”
CROW: Boy, she sure got over Demyx in a hurry.
>
> Axel’s face reddened a bit and he looked away. “Whatever.”
>
> hbjghjfvgjkhfhgfhgf
MIKE: Scene changes like that give me the heebeejaygees…
>
> I licked a sea salt ice cream with earnest.
CROW(Earnest): Finger-lickin’ good!
> I had officially decided that I’d never tasted anything better than the blue stuff.
JOEL(Congressperson): I move that we declare nothing tastes better
than the blue stuff!
CROW(Congressperson): Second!
TOM: What is a sea salt ice cream anyway? Isn’t all ice cream made
with salt?
> I smiled over at Axel, who was leaning against a nearby shop. He was dressed
> in casual jeans and a long-sleeved shirt so he could blend in and ‘keep an eye
> on me’.
MIKE: So his spiky red hair doesn’t stand out at all?
CROW: Eh, it’s a Japanese video game. What do you think?
> He chuckled, most likely cause I was positive I had some ice cream smeared
> across my mouth.
TOM(Axel): Actually, that’s the poison.
JOEL(Kazumi): Wha—hurk!
*Joel mimes collapsing*
>
> “I’ve never seen a girl pack it away like you.” Axel commented as I
> bought another ice cream. Earlier he’d stared in amazement as I
> wolfed down four hot dogs and three pretzels.
TOM(Kazumi a la Sailor Moon): *garrg garrg garrg* Boy this is good
stuff! *garrg garrg garrg*
>
> Despite what you might think, Xemnas did pay his servants.
JOEL(Xemnas): They think pencil shavings are legal tender…
> Twenty munny a week. I was never sure what he expected us to spend it on,
> since we never left the castle. Over the years I’d saved up four
> thousand two hundred munny and never thought I’d get to really spend
> it.
*Crow whips out a calculator*
CROW: So, in total, looks like she’s been serving them for…four years,
four months, and fifteen days.
TOM: Huh. From that earlier description I would’ve figured a lot more
than that.
MIKE: Maybe it doesn’t take into account that year she sat around
complaining?
>
> I laughed and shoved the ice cream in his mouth. “It wasn’t for me,
> you dolt!”
JOEL(Axel): OH MY GOD! BRAIN FREEZE! BRAAAIN FREEEZE!
>
> Axel coughed and caught it.
TOM: Uh, it was shoved in his mouth. What’s there to catch?
CROW: Maybe he kept it from going down his throat?
> He raised an eyebrow, but started to eat it nonetheless. “That was very disrespectful.”
MIKE: Not to mention stupidly dangerous, but hey, why worry about
that?
>
> I shrugged. “We’re not in the castle. Out here I’m not a servant and
> you’re not a master. We’re just people.” I took in a deep breath. “I
> feel so free!”
JOEL(Singing): I feel so free…so free to be me!
>
> Axel watched me for a bit and I wondered what he was thinking but
> soon was distracted by a passing cat. I knelt down and started to
> play with it.
CROW: Kazumi: the poster child for ADD.
>
> “Kazumi…what would you do if you could be free? If Xemnas just let
> you go?” he asked out of the blue.
TOM(Kazumi): Well, I’ve always wanted to go to Seaworld…
>
> I let the cat go and stared up at the sky. “I want to explore the
> universe.” I smiled over at him. “I want to see all the worlds out
> there.” I looked back at the sky. “It’s my dream. I want to swim to
> Atlantis. I want to roar at the peak of Pride Rock. To fly in
> Neverland, cheer at the Colliseum, meet Santa, I wanna do it all!
> Then when I’m done, when I’ve seen everything out there, I want to
> find a world to call home.” I sighed. “I’d do anything for that.”
MIKE(Kazumi as Genie): Ah, but who’m I kidding? That’ll never happen…
>
> Axel nodded and looked at the setting sun. “We better get back.”
JOEL(Axel): If we hurry we can still make happy hour!
CROW(Kazumi): Woo-hoo!
>
> I frowned a bit and stood. “Alright.” I followed him. “Hey, Axel?”
>
> “Hm?”
TOM(Kazumi): How am I following you if you didn’t go anywhere?
CROW: Pfft. Details, details…
>
> “Thanks.” I blushed for some reason and stared at my feet.
MIKE(Kainichi): Must…force…romance!
> “This all…well, it meant a lot to me. I had a lot of fun.” A light bulb lit
> above my head and I ran so I was beside him.
TOM: I’d run too if a light bulb literally appeared over my head…
> “Does this mean we’re friends now?”
*Joel hums Queen’s “You’re My Best Friend”*
>
> Axel looked at me from the corner of his eye. “I suppose.”
MIKE(Telsek): Yes.
>
> A smile spread across my face. “And does that mean I can come hang
> out with you sometime?”
JOEL(Axel): Sure, if you like barbeque!
*Joel mimes Axel setting someone on fire*
>
> “Sure, I guess.” He was giving me a strange look. “This leads to your
> room so I’ll see you later.”
TOM: Wait…huh?! How does a look lead to her room? Or anywhere for that
matter?!
>
> I nodded and, on sure impulse, hugged him. “Thanks a lot, Ax.” I ran
> through the portal but still caught him saying “Ax?”
CROW(Axel): Ax?! I use chakram’s, thankyewverymuch!
>
> highsdiasdhvfkausdhf
CROW(Druggie): Oh man…this scene change makes me so high…
MIKE: Really stretching for that one, huh?
CROW: Oh, bite me, Nelson.
>
> “Don’t you have anything better to do?” Axel asked, irritated.
TOM(Axel): Go away kid; you bother me.
>
> “Nope!” I giggled as I continued to mess with his spikes. “I still
> can’t figure out how your hair can be so…so…well, how it can be like
> it is and yet so soft.”
CROW: Two words: Artistic. License.
>
> Two weeks had passed since Demyx had ‘died’ and I couldn’t stop
> myself from growing irreversibly close to the redhead.
JOEL: Oh my God she’s planted roots!
TOM: Quick! Get the weedkiller!
> He was currently laying on his stomach on his bed with his head at the foot.
MIKE: Apparently Axel is a contortionist.
> He’d been reading a magazine before I came in. I was sitting on the
> floor in front of him, running my hands through, pulling on, and
> musing with his spikes.
JOEL: What scarlet treasures these hairs be, these mighty roots of
creativity…
CROW(Whispering): Psst. Kainichi! It’s “mussing!”
>
> Axel growled and swatted my hand away for the thirteenth time. “Will
> you stop that?”
JOEL(Kainchi): Thirteenth, get it? ‘Cause it’s Organization XIII and…
oh never mind…
>
> I shook my head and started running my hands through his hair again.
> I laughed when he stopped complaining as I started to scratch his
> scalp. He actually closed his eyes and leaned his head closer. “Oh
> my, does the big bad Axel like having his head scratched?” I teased.
*Everyone stares at the screen in shocked silence*
TOM: We’re crossing into a whole weird area here, folks…
>
> He flipped me off but let out a disappointed groan when I stopped.
> “Don’t stop.” He ordered.
CROW(Singing): Don’t stop me now!
MIKE(Whispering): Crow, I don’t think that song works for this—
CROW: Hush!
>
> “Don’t flip me off.”
>
> “Don’t you give me orders.”
TOM(Kazumi): Don’t you talk back to me!
>
> I stuck out my tongue at him. He shot me a look and I pulled it back
> in. “Fine, you win.” I started to scratch his head again. “Better,
> you controlling asshole?”
CROW: Better than an uncontrolled asshole…
TOM: Oh, yuck…
MIKE: That’s it. I call no more potty jokes.
*Joel looks like he’s barely holding back from puking*
JOEL(Weakly): Second…
>
> He nodded. “The big bad Axel’s happy now.”
*Everyone whistles “Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf*
> He said with a small smile on his face. A few minutes of silence
> passed before he spoke again. “Hey, Kazumi? Want to do me a favor?”
JOEL(Kazumi): But I thought I already was…
>
> I pulled my hands back. “Yeah?”
>
> He sat up and started to unzip his cloak.
*Joel and Mike scream*
MIKE: Oh my God it IS a lemon!
JOEL Well…maybe it won’t be too bad?
MIKE: Have you lost your mind, Robinson?!
> “Could you give me a massage? I have a knot and it’s killing me.”
TOM(Kazumi): Why sure…I’ll just untie it with my delicate fingers…
CROW(Axel): Muscle tension, you idiot!
TOM(Kazumi): Oh.
*Tom laughs like a ditz*
>
> I’d given Demyx massages plenty of times, so it was no big deal.
> “Sure, I gue…” My voice trailed off as he pulled his shirt off to
> reveal his skinny, yet strangely muscled chest.
*Tom starts laughing*
> I started to wonder why I’d never noticed how nice and soft
> his skin looked.
*Tom laughs harder as the other three start joining in*
> My eyes traveled over his chest to his faint four pack.
> A few scars were scattered across his front, probably from past battles.
*Tom and the others are all now laughing super hard. They finally
manage to stop after a few moments*
TOM: Ah…funny stuff, Kainichi, funny stuff…
>
> “Kazumi?” Axel spoke, snapping me out of my ogling. He raised an
> eyebrow. “You okay?”
CROW(Kazumi, Stunned): Oh I’m fine…just like you…
>
> I nodded and got up. He laid back down and I claimed on top of him.
JOEL(Lawyer): I’m sorry, but your claim won’t hold up in court.
MIKE(Kazumi): Oh darn it!
> After hesitating a bit, I straddled my self on his lower back and
> started the massage. His muscles relaxed at my touch as I kneaded at
> the tense knots.
TOM(Singing): Kneading, kneading, kneading…Kazumi is kneading…Kazumi
is kneading, all day!
>
> Axel let out a pleased groan. “Yeah, that feels great. Been forever
> since I got a good rub.”
JOEL: Aye, there’s the rub/For in that sleep of death what dreams may
come…
> He arched his back a bit and hissed when I
> touched a small scar near his neck. “Hey, watch it. That’s a
> sensitive spot.” I apologized and continued. Then he somehow managed
> to roll over without knocking me off.
CROW(Kazumi): ‘Course it did break my spine…
*The others wince*
MIKE(Kazumi as Zazu): Pardon me, sir, but…get! Off!
>
> Now I was straddling his hips and could feel my face grow hot. “Ax,
> what’re you—”
>
> “You gotta do the front for it to be a massage.” He said, as if it
> was obvious. He put his hands behind his head as a pillow. A minute
> passed and neither of us moved. “Well, you gonna do it or not?”
TOM(Axel): Are you gonna do it or am I gonna have to make ya?
CROW(Kazumi): I’d like to see you try!
>
> I nodded. “Yeah, I’ll do it.” I hesitated before running my hands
> over his chest.
MIKE(Axel/Tickle Me Elmo): Heehee! That tickles!
>
> Axel’s eyes drifted closed as I continued the massage. He breathing
> evened out and I figured he was asleep so I got off. I grabbed a
> blanket and covered him. I paused, staring at his calm face.
JOEL(Kazumi): I keep using clipped sentences!
TOM: A sense of flow! Try using it!
> My eyes fixed on his parted lips and I swallowed thickly.
> No, I can’t. It wouldn’t be right. I told myself. But…just
> one wouldn’t hurt.
CROW(Kazumi): He’s not going to finish that Jolly Rancher anyway…
>
> I swallowed again and leaned down. I’d never kissed a boy on the lips
> before, not counting that lip brushing with Xigbar.
MIKE(Kazumi): Plenty of girls, though!
> Okay, just do it.
TOM(Kazumi): Alright, DEAR, I’m doing it, DEAR.
> Do it, get it over with, and get out of his room. Softly, I pressed
> my lips to his. A few seconds passed and I pulled away, my face on
> fire. I did not just do that! Oh, lord! How am I supposed to look him
> in the face again?! Oh, god…I— A voice interrupted my thoughts.
CROW(Axel): You have displeased me.
JOEL(Kazumi): Gasp!
>
> “You really suck at kissing.” I looked down at Axel, who was staring
> up at me.
MIKE(Axel): And by suck, I mean literally! Yuck!
>
> “Axel, I-I-I…SORRY!!” I bolted out the door.
*Suddenly a red light washed over the theatre*
TOM: What the…hell?
*The intercom activates*
GYPSY: Everyone! The Mads are calling!
TOM: Joy.
MIKE: Let’s go see what they want…
>
> jfhsduifksjhcasudfk
*The fanfic freezes on the screen*
Joel picked up Tom and followed Mike and Crow as they sped out
of the theatre.
(DOOR ONE)
(DOOR TWO)
(DOOR THREE)
(DOOR FOUR)
(DOOR FIVE)
(DOOR SIX)
Dr. Forrester and Pearl waited impatiently for their prisoners
to appear on the viewscreen. Finally, after what seemed like hours,
Joel, Mike, and the Bots arrived. Mike cheekily looked at the Mads and
said, “Welcome back, sirs!”
“Thank you,” Pearl answered sarcastically. “Bobo told you what
we were doing?” She glowered at the assistant, who cowered and fled to
sweep the room, shying away from the two scientists.
“Uh-huh…said you were renegotiating your funding or something
like that.”
“Yes, we were,” Dr. Forrester replied with an irritated frown;
he had been sorely tempted to tell the MSU representatives where they
could shove it during the negotiations but he had somehow managed to
keep his cool. “They wanted something really ridiculous out of us, and
we had to agree or else they’d have canceled our funding.”
Mike, Joel and the Bots giggled. “Oh, what’s that?” Mike
asked.
Pearl groaned. “Apparently, they want us to “keep your minds
fresh” or something like that by making us invent things every
experiment and exchanging them.” She growled, and muttered under her
breath, “Why we have to do it too I don’t understand at all…”
“Oh, I get it!” Joel said in understanding. “They wanna make
sure that the fanfic that breaks our minds will work on anyone, not
just people who’ve been run down!”
“JOEL!” Mike, Tom, and Crow all scolded, not liking the way
their friend was talking. Joel smiled sheepishly.
Dr. Forrester scratched his chin in thought. “Hmm…maybe it is
a good idea after all…”
Crow murmured under his breath, “Though it sounds more like a
lazy fallback setup…”
Joel clapped his companions on their shoulders and gave the
Mads a thumbs up. “I know it sounds kinda kooky and lame, but it’ll be
fun! I used to do this all the time with the old Dr. F.”
“Yeah, that was a lot of fun,” Tom interjected. Crow nodded
his agreement.
Mike did not agree. “I dunno guys…I’m not very good with this
sort of stuff.”
“You’ll get the hang of it, Mike,” Joel said with a grin. To
the Mads: “So, you guys got an invention yet?”
“What? No! Of course not!” Pearl snorted.
“Oh.” Joel shrugged. “Well, guess we’ll just have to start
that next time, then.”
“Yeah, yeah, save it for later, Captain Enthusiasm!” Dr.
Forrester gestured to Erhardt. “Get them the last part of the fanfic
already!”
“Right on it!” Erhardt fed the last part into the feeder.
“What, no more break already?!” Tom whined as the sirens and
lights of FANFIC sign waved them back into the theatre.
(Concluded In Part Four)
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| Re: MFT9K Episode I: Hands to Scorch My Skin [message #161604 is a reply to message #161603] |
Thu, 22 May 2008 21:09 |
|
|
Originally posted by: PIcaRDMPC
(DOOR SIX)
(DOOR FIVE)
(DOOR FOUR)
(DOOR THREE)
(DOOR TWO)
(DOOR ONE)
Joel carried Tom into the theatre and set him in the far-left
seat as the others sat down in their normal chairs. “To recap: Demyx
dies, Kazumi has a freaky day-dream, then Axel takes her to Twilight
Town and later she kisses him after a lot of weird creepy stuff,” Mike
said. The fanfic continued.
>
> Once again, I found myself avoiding Axel. It had been only a few days
> but I still couldn’t believe what I’d done. I’d actually kissed him!
> Standing in my room I found myself banging my head on the wall
> lightly. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”
TOM: Geez, with all the chanting she does, she could be a one-woman
monastery!
CROW: Nah, she’s not celibate.
>
> It wasn’t just that I’d crossed the line between servant and master,
> or even the line between friends; it was the fact that I actually had
> feelings about Axel.
MIKE(Eric Bauman): You have now, officially, CROSSED THE LINE!
> They were small, yes, and could have been easily overlooked.
> And now I knew things could never be the same again.
> Things would be awkward, and we’d most likely just stay away from
> each other. Leaving me alone.
JOEL(Kazumi): Leave me alone, me!
>
> I hated the thought of being alone. Hated it with every fiber of my
> being.
CROW(Kazumi): Except for that little one on my left big toe. That
one’s just nuts.
> I needed to have someone with me to make it through life.
> Someone who could at least pretend to care about me.
MIKE: She should talk to the United Way. I hear they have a Big
Sibling program now.
>
> “I’m so stupid.” I muttered to myself, leaning against my bedroom
> door. I sighed and started walking towards the kitchen to do my
> chores. “Maybe if I just apologize to him…ugh…I hate my life.”
MIKE: I take that back. She needs Zoloft, and lots of it!
>
> I washed dishes with a few other servants for an hour before I
> noticed them staring at me and whispering to each other. I raised an
> eyebrow. “What is it?”
CROW(Kazumi): Why must you unnamed characters bother me?!
>
> One blonde girl looked down. “It’s just that…well, we heard that
> you…kissed Mister Axel and…we know that Mister Xigbar had stuck his
> claim on you…”
JOEL(Servant): And those stickynotes aren’t cheap, ya know!
>
> I rolled my eyes. Great, just what I need; rumors. “I did nothing of
> the sort and Mister Xigbar doesn’t have any claim on me whatsoever.”
TOM: In the event of rumors, Kazumi will disavow all knowledge…
> I started scrubbing the dishes again. “And I’d think you guys
> wouldn’t be so childish to gossip.”
MIKE: Ah, gossip: truly the foundation of any society.
>
> Another girl scoffed. “Yeah right, you can try to act innocent if you
> want. We all know that you were banging Mister Demyx before and now
> you’ve moved on to Mister Axel.”
TOM: Woah!
CROW: Oh no she didn’t!
>
> I stared at her in shock. “What did you just say?” I resisted the
> urge to slap her. “How dare you be so disrespectful! Demyx was a good
> man and—”
>
> “Yeah, says his toy. So, how was he in bed?”
MIKE: Mrow!
CROW: Hiss!
>
> My self-control gone, I went to slap her but found my wrist caught in
> a gloved hand. I looked back. My eyes widened.
JOEL(Kazumi): Master Hand?!
>
> The girl gasped. “M-Mister Xigbar! What are you doing here, sir?”
TOM(Xigbar): I’m selling these fine leather jackets…
>
> Xigbar’s one eye went to her.
MIKE: While the rest of his body stayed put.
BOTS(Jafar/Iago): Eeeugh…
> “You ladies are excused. I believe Kazumi has to explain a few things to me.”
JOEL(Xigbar): What were you doing on the night of August the 18th?!
MIKE(Kazumi): Giving Axel a sponge bath?
BOTS: …
>
> The girls looked at each other unsurely. Xigbar growled. “I gave you
> an order.” At the sound of his voice they rushed out. He looked down
> at me, a smile coming to his face. “That’s better.”
TOM: You know, somehow I just can’t picture Xigbar growling like that.
MIKE: Yeah, it’d be more “Get out dudes before I go totally radical on
you!”
>
> I tried to pull my wrist free. “Sir, please let me go.”
CROW(Olivertwistbot): Please, sir, you’re hurting me!
>
> He shook his head. “No, we still have some unfinished business, Kazumi.”
JOEL(Xigbar): You still haven’t paid your income taxes!
> With a jerk I fell against him and one of his arms snaked
> around my waist. His other hand grabbed my chin.
TOM: So he DID let her wrist go then.
MIKE: Looks that way.
> “You’re mine, Kazumi. The sooner you learn that, the better off we’ll be.”
CROW(Singing): Mine, mine mine…
>
> I jerked my face away. “Let go of me! Superior will—”
>
> “Superior won’t know anything.” He fisted the back of my hair,
> forcing me to look at him. “Because you’re going to keep your mouth
> shut, or else.” As if to prove his point, he gave my hair a sharp
> tug. “Now, be a good girl and do what I tell you.”
TOM: Uh-oh…
JOEL: Come on, Kazumi, fight back already!
MIKE: Are you kidding? This is obviously a set-up for Axel to be the
hero again.
CROW: Like once wasn’t enough…
>
> His lips were on mine and they slowly traveled down my throat.
MIKE: His LIPS traveled down her throat?!
TOM: Sheesh, is everybody a contortionist around here?
CROW: Well, those Dusks are pretty limber…
> With tears in my eyes I reached back to the sink, trying to find something
> to use as a weapon.
JOEL(Kazumi): Hmm…meat grinder, no…kettle, no…cast-iron pan, no…ahah,
a plastic plate!
> My fingers curled around a handle of a knife. Quickly I attacked him with it.
*Tom makes a slicing sound*
CROW: Xigbar’s pants fell around his ankles. Hilarity ensued.
>
> “AHH!” Xigbar screamed, jumping back as he held the large gash on his
> left cheek.
MIKE: A gash on his cheek? I kinda figured she’d stab him with it.
JOEL: Nah, Kazumi’s too elegant for that.
> He glared at me. “That’s it, you’re dead.” His guns
> appeared in his hand and I terror shoot through me.
CROW: Too bad Xigbar’s immune to Fear.
*Tom shakes his head*
TOM: Those damn status spells…they never work on the enemies you need
them for…
>
> I backed away, the knife held tightly in my hand. He aimed one gun at
> me and I squeezed my eyes shut. I heard it fire. “Axel!” I screamed
> in fear.
JOEL(Pilot): Uh, tower, this is Flight 211, Clichéd Hero sequence.
Request clearance for runway one.
MIKE(Tower): Flight 211, you are cleared for landing.
>
> After ten seconds went by and I realized I was still alive and
> unharmed, I slowly opened my eyes. I stared in disbelief at what was
> in front of me and dropped the knife. Axel was standing in front of
> Xigbar, his hands on his throat, Xigbar’s guns tossed to the floor.
JOEL(Pilot): Roger, tower, we’re landing now.
*The Bots imitate the sound of an airplane landing*
JOEL(Pilot): Tower, this is Flight 211; we have landed. Repeat, the
Clichéd Hero sequence has landed.
>
> Axel’s hands had flames licking at them, burning the flesh on
> Xigbar’s neck. “I thought I told you to leave her alone.” He snarled
> through gritted teeth.
MIKE(Axel): Ptooie! I need to stop eating sand.
>
> Xigbar hissed in pain. “Let me go!”
>
> “Apologize to her!”
>
> “Fuck off!”
TOM: Not a smart thing to say to someone holding you by the throat…
CROW: Gasp! Does this mean we don’t have censors now?
JOEL: Crow, we never had censors.
CROW: Oh.
>
> I could see Axel’s hands tighten before he shoved Xigbar to the side,
> causing him to fall over. Xigbar held his burnt neck, coughing. Axel
> turned to face me, his eyes hard ice.
TOM: Uh-oh…looks like his eyes froze again.
MIKE(Resigned): I’ll get the blowdryer…
> “You okay, Kazumi?” He reached out to touch me but I took a step
> back. “Kazumi?”
>
> I stared at him, eyes wide. “Y-you’re angry…you burn when you’re
> angry.”
*Everyone applauds*
MIKE: Congrats on figuring that out, Kazumi!
JOEL: Took her long enough
> I looked at his hands, which no longer had flames on them.
> “Wh-why are you here?”
CROW(Axel): Geez, talk about ungrateful. Remind me never to save your
butt again…
>
> “What are you talking about? You called me.”
*Tom giggles*
TOM: So, what, he moves at the speed of light now?
JOEL: He’s no Flash, that’s for sure.
> He looked down at Xigbar, a disgusted look on his face. “Let’s continue
> this somewhere else.” He grabbed my wrist, ignoring my wince, and pulled
> me through a portal.
*Everyone hums the tune to Portal*
>
> We were in my room. I rubbed my wrist, which was slightly red.
MIKE(Axel): Indian burn!
> “Thank you…” I said in a low voice, looking away from him.
>
> Axel shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I’ll take any chance to kick
> Xigbar’s ass.”
JOEL(Axel): I’m kicking ass and chewing bubble gum! But I’m all out of
gum…
>
> “Oh…”
>
> A moment of silence enveloped and I half expected him to leave, but
> he just continued to stand in front of me.
CROW: Aw, crap! Axel locked up!
TOM: That’s what they get for running him on Vista…
> Finally he spoke up, “Why won’t you look at me?”
ALL(Singing): Why won’t you look at me…!
>
> I swallowed, feeling my cheeks get a little hot. “B-because…I don’t
> want things to be…awkward.”
MIKE: Uh, Kazumi, you’re making things more awkward that way.
>
> “Awkward?”
TOM: You know, clumsy, bumbling, inept…
MIKE: Wrong awkward, Tommy.
>
> I nodded. “Yeah…since I…y’ know…k-kissed you…”
ALL(Singing): When a kiss isn’t just a kiss…
>
> For some reason, he seemed to find that funny and started laughing.
> “You’re an idiot, kid.” He took a step closer. “Look at me.”
TOM: Some Romeo he is…
>
> Hesitantly, I looked up. I let out a squeak when he leaned down and
> kissed my lips briefly. “A-Axel! What’re you doing?!”
CROW(Axel): Tasting you…mmm…strawberry!
JOEL: Eww…
>
> He grinned. “Nothing. You sneaked one, so why can’t I?”
>
> My face was on fire.
MIKE: That’s why, you idiot!
*Crow pulls out a fire extinguisher and fires it at the screen.*
CROW: There ya go, Kazumi!
*Pearl’s voice pipes into the theatre*
PEARL: You’re cleaning that up after the fanfic, Crow!
CROW: Ah, nuts.
> “N-no! You can’t—I mean, we can’t—It’s wrong!”
TOM(Axel): If this is wrong, I don’t want to be right…
>
> An eyebrow went up at that. “Why?”
>
> “B-because! We just-just can’t! It’s not allowed!”
CROW(Kazumi): The law is the law!
>
> One of his hands went to my back and pulled me closer. “You talk to
> much.” He said before his hot mouth was on mine again, this time more
> demanding. I felt myself melt against him.
TOM: The Incredible Melting Kazumi!
MIKE: So what makes Axel better than Xigbar, again?
>
> A minute later he let me go and I panted for air. He gave me his
> token smirk before kissing my forehead and exiting my room.
JOEL(Kazumi, Ominous): You’ll pay for that, fire-boy…
>
> jhjkhsdklvjhskljvhkl
CROW: Oh my God! It’s a mass grave of lowercase letters!
MIKE(Solemn): We say goodbye to those we have lost today…
>
> My eyes hurt the next day from lack of sleep. Due to the confusion a
> certain fire-wielder
TOM: The Human Torch?
CROW: Pyro?
MIKE: Black Mage?
JOEL: Hermione Granger?
MIKE&BOTS: Yeah—huh?!
> had left me with I had been wide awake all night.
>
> I rubbed my eyes, yawning. “Damn it, Axel.” I leaned against the
> wall, sighing. “I can’t make it through the day like this…wonder how
> much trouble I’d get in if I bailed? Hmm…”
TOM: Probably a lot since you were kidnapped and forced into this job…
> Midst my contemplating I didn’t notice someone approach me and only
> noticed when they slipped their warm arms around my waist. “Axel!” I
> cried, squirming as he kissed my neck.
CROW: So how’d he know she was awake?
MIKE(Omnious): The walls have eyes…
>
> Axel smirked down at me, bending down to kiss my neck again. “Good
> morning, dear.” He said jokingly. “How’d you sleep last night?”
JOEL: Ba-dump-chiss!
TOM(Monotone): Ha-ha-ha.
>
> I pushed him back, as far as I could. “You’re annoying.” I stated
> blankly.
>
> “So I’ve been told.” He grinned, “Kiss me.”
ALL(Singing): Kiss me baby…
>
> Rolling my eyes and blushing I pecked him on the lips. “So…what does
> this mean?”
MIKE(Jack Skellington): What does this mean, what does this mean?!
>
> His arms tightened around me. “It means you’re mine. If you don’t
> like that, then tough. Alright? Alright.”
JOEL(Quagmire): Hehe…Awright!
>
> I nodded. “Fine, but…” I gulped and blushed before wrapping my arms
> securely around his neck,
TOM(Kazumi): Squeezing harder and harder until HIS EYES STARTED TO
POP!
JOEL: Woah, calm down, Tom…
> “that better mean…th-that you’re mine as well.”
>
> “Sure thing, babe.”
MIKE: Soitainly!
>
> mhvdksuhfksjdhfkls
CROW: Now lesse…move this letter here…and…nope. No hidden words.
>
> Life couldn’t have been better unless Demyx was still ‘alive’.
> Everyday I got up early, tore through my chores, then rushed to
> Axel’s waiting arms. I no longer had any issues with Xigbar; the man
> knew to leave me alone, and the other servants had long since stopped
> their senseless whispers about me. I was, for the first time since my
> parents had died, truly happy.
MIKE: And a one, two, three…
ALL: Awww…
TOM: So does this mean it’s over?
>
> Two months had gone by since me and Axel had been official.
JOEL(Gary Shandling): Okay, two months have just passed…
TOM: Nope. Darn.
> Every week he’d take me to a new world. He said he wanted to help me make
> my dream come true while he was still around to see it. I hated when
> he talked like that.
MIKE(Kazumi): I mean, sure, I’m going to murder him in his sleep one
day, but he doesn’t need to remind me!
>
> The organization had been getting killed off by the Keyblade wielder,
> it was all too obvious. The last one was Xalden. Luxord was lucky to
> have escaped. Though Axel was cocky, I could tell he was afraid of
> fading into the darkness.
CROW: Okay, okay, hold it! HOLD EVERYTHING!
*The other three look at Crow, confused*
CROW: Axel betrayed the Organization at the Battle of Hollow Bastion!
Why’s he still running around free?
MIKE: And why’d it take two months just for Sora to revisit Port
Royal? Come on!
TOM: Right! That doesn’t make any sense at all!
JOEL: Eh, just roll with it guys. We’ve just got a bit more to the end
here anyway.
*The Bots and Mike fidget a little, but they settle down*
>
> I sat next to him on his couch. He was casually reading a magazine
> he’d picked up somewhere. I laid my head on his shoulder and let out
> a sigh.
TOM: She’s not going to start chanting again, is she?
>
> “Something wrong, babe?” Axel asked, not looking away from the
> magazine.
JOEL(Axel): I only care THIS much!
>
> I looked up at him. “Axel…lets run away.” That made him laugh. “No,
> I’m serious.”
MIKE(Axel): But running away never solves anything! It said so on the
T.V.!
>
> “I’m not going to turn on the Organization, Kazumi. I’ve done too
> many horrible things to do that.”
*Crow picks up a pillow and slams his face into it repeatedly*
>
> I straightened and continued to stare at his face. “Ax, I love you. I
> don’t want to lose you like I lost Demyx.”
>
> He sighed and set down the magazine. He pulled me to him. “You know I
> can’t say that back. I’m not capable of ‘love’.”
JOEL(Singing): ‘Cause I’m not capable of love…
>
> “That’s wrong.” I felt my eyes water up. “Just cause it doesn’t beat,
> doesn’t mean your heart’s not there. Axel, please, lets just leave. I
> don’t care where we go, as long as we’re together.”
MIKE(Kainichi): Sappy romance is good romance!
>
> “Hey, c’mon, don’t cry.” He ran a gloved thumb under my eye to wipe
> away the tears. “I don’t run, Kazumi, you know that. I never run.”
*Tom puts away a copy of “He bravely ran away”*
TOM: Darn it…I was waiting to use that!
>
> I shook my head. “If you die…I don’t know what I’ll do…”
>
> “Then I just won’t die.”
>
> “You can’t control when you die, Ax.
CROW(Trelane): I decide who lives and who dies!
> If you could, I’d still have Demyx. And my parents.” I sniffled.
> “Axel…I can’t lose you. I love you. I don’t care if you don’t
> think you can love me back, it doesn’t change the way I feel.”
TOM(Phil): There’re some things you just can’t change…
>
> His hand massaged my scalp, making me sleepy. We sat in silence. When
> he finally spoke I was mostly asleep so I’m not sure if he actually
> spoke at all. “If I could, I’d love you too.”
MIKE: And again, one, two, three:
ALL: Awww…
>
> vjksdhvjkshfkljdbh
MIKE(McMahon): This could be it!
TOM: We’re almost finished, guys!
>
> “Axel! That hurts!” I said as Axel pulled me sharply through a
> portal. We were in Traverse Town. I looked around. “Ax, what are we
> doing here?”
JOEL(Riker from Insurrection): Good question…
> He pulled me to him roughly, planting his lips on mine.
> They were cold. I pushed him back. “Axel, what’s going on? You’re
> cold! You’re never cold!”
CROW: Must’ve been chewing Dentyne Ice…
>
> Axel looked around anxiously. “Kazumi, you love me, right?”
>
> I nodded. “Of course, but what does—”
>
> He put a finger to my lips. “Then you’ll do what I say.”
TOM: Kazumi IS the Love Slave!
> He pressed a small pouch in my hand. “Kazumi, I want you to take
> this munny and buy a train ticket. Then I want you to go as far away
> from here as you can. Go to Hallow Bastion or something, I don’t care.
> Some place safe.”
*Crow looks like he’s about to nitpick again but a glare from Joel
keeps him silent*
> He kissed me. “Kazumi, I’m never going to see you again.”
ALL: GASP!
>
> “What? Axel, what are you talking about? I’m not leaving you. What’s
> going on? Tell me.”
>
> “I have a chance…to help Roxas. And I’m going to, but I won’t be able
> to come back from it. If the fight doesn’t kill me, Xemnas will.” He
> grabbed my hands. “Roxas…I have to help him, even if it means my
> existence. Even if it’s not my Roxas, I have to. You understand,
> right?”
MIKE: Okay, show of hands: who saw this coming?
*Everyone raises their hands, except Tom, who simply flails*
>
> Tears were rolling down my face. I nodded, choking back a sob.
> “B-but, what am I supposed to do without you? I don’t want to be
> alone again, Axel. I love you. I need you.”
JOEL: Poor Kazumi…I really feel for her.
*He pulls out a handkerchief and dabs at the tears forming at his
eyes*
>
> His lips pressed against my forehead and a portal of darkness opened
> behind him. “I’m sorry.” He turned and the portal closed. And that
> would be the last time I would see him.
ALL: Bye, Axel!
TOM: We’ll miss ya, buddy.
>
> I fell to my knees, crying hard. I punched the stone ground, wincing
> as one of my knuckles broke.
>
> The End
*Everyone stands up and cheers*
CROW: Alright! Finally!
MIKE: We made it!
TOM: Boy that was a long one. I’m really looking forward to—
> PSYC!!
ALL: Oh come on!
*They all sit back down*
TOM(Garfield): People who write things like that should be dragged out
into the street and shot…
>
> “You’re Axel’s friend, right?” A quiet, timid voice asked from above me.
CROW: Oh, don’t tell me…
>
> I looked up. In front of me stood a blonde girl in a white dress.
ALL: Naminé?!
TOM: What’s she doing here?
> She smiled and extended a hand. “We must hurry, I don’t have much time..
> Riku’s waiting on me.”
JOEL(Riku): Waiting is such hard work…
MIKE(Riku’s Boss): Oi! Riku! Table six has been waiting for five
minutes!
JOEL(Riku): Oh why did I ever take this job…
>
> I took her hand. It’s not like I have much to lose. I thought
> bitterly. She guided me to the old mansion through the woods. We
> entered a computer room where a group of kids were sitting,
> completely focused on the computer.
CROW(Kids): Praise Vaal!
> The girl gestured for me to be quiet. She led me down a hallway.
>
> I stared at giant egg in front of me. I looked over at her. “What…?”
MIKE(Naminé): Oh, Yoshi laid this. Just ignore it.
>
> The girl smiled and gestured to an egg in the corner. In it was….no…
>
> “Demyx?!” I cried in disbelief.
JOEL: WHAT?!
TOM: Cue dues ex machina!
>
> She nodded. “Yes, he’s been sleeping here for awhile.” She looked
> around the room. “DiZ built this place to restore Sora’s memories but
> after that decided to use it to study Nobodies. If you step inside,
> you’ll be able to be with Demyx again. And Axel when he returns.”
CROW: B-but DiZ HATES Nobodies…
JOEL: Just don’t think about it, Crow…
>
> My eyes watered up. “Really? That…that’s too good to be true.”
>
> She shook her head. “A world will be constructed from your memories
> and dreams.”
TOM(Naminé): We call it…Fantasy Island.
*All hum the tune to Fantasy Island*
>
> I stepped over to the egg. I touched it. “I’ll get to be with them?
> Forever?”
>
> “Forever.”
CROW(Timmy Turner): FOREVER!
>
> A tear rolled down my cheek. “Thank you so much…”
>
> The girl smiled. “My name is Naminé.”
ALL: Hi, Naminé!
MIKE: ‘Course we already knew that…
>
> “Thank you, Naminé.”
>
> I closed my eyes as the egg closed around me. Then I was on a beach,
> running to hug Demyx for the first time in ages.
>
> The End, For Real
ALL: THANK GOODNESS!
TOM: Let’s get out of here.
CROW: Uh-huh!
*The intercom activates again*
PEARL: Not till you clean up that mess!
CROW: Oh, darn it!
Joel picked up Tom and followed Mike as he left the theatre.
Crow snatched a roll of paper towels from a shelf on the wall and got
to work.
(DOOR ONE)
(DOOR TWO)
(DOOR THREE)
(DOOR FOUR)
(DOOR FIVE)
(DOOR SIX)
Crow finally joined Joel, Tom, and Mike on the bridge, who
awaited them with Gypsy. “I am never making a mess in that theatre
again…” Crow swore as he sat down with his companions.
Joel snuck a quick grin, and then asked, “So, what did you
guys think of the fanfic?”
“Well,” Mike responded after a moment of thought, “it actually
wasn’t that bad. Sure, the romance was kinda corny, but there were
some pretty good moments in there.”
“Like anytime Kazumi was ranting,” Tom interjected.
“Yeah. I think that, for an original character, Kazumi was a
pretty good one.”
“It wasn’t all good, though,” Crow said. “I like how Kainichi
was trying to go with the storyline of KH II, but she kinda made some
pretty huge errors there near the end.”
“It didn’t help that her sentences were clipped all over the
place,” Tom said. “Like I said during the fic, she needs to find a
sense of flow.”
“A certain other person could use that too…” Mike muttered as
he glared at Cambot. To the rest, he said, “And then there was that
ending…”
“Oh, jeez, don’t remind me…” Joel groaned.
“Yeah, tell me about it,” Tom scoffed. “The whole fic was
really kinda sad, so I figured it was going to stick with that theme
in the ending, right? But noo, Kainichi has to have a feel-good
ending, so she whips out a whole bunch of dues ex machina complete
with even more canon errors!”
“She definitely would’ve done much better to stick with the
first ending,” Joel agreed. “That second ending was not good at all.”
“But I gotta say that overall, I actually kinda liked it,”
Crow said. “Kainichi’s definitely got some talent.”
“Uh-huh,” Mike nodded. “If she keeps up writing, she could
turn out to be a pretty good one.”
“That’s right,” Joel said. “If you’re reading this, Kainichi,
keep up your writing!” Everyone winks at Cambot.
The red light of the Mads washed over the bridge. Gypsy
pressed the button to bring them up on the viewscreen. “So, whaddya
think, sirs?” Mike asked them.
Dr. Forrester and Pearl looked to each other and shrugged.
“Well, like mother said before,” Dr. F answered, “it was a test run.”
“We’re definitely sending your shorter fanfics in the future
though,” Pearl shuddered.
Dr. Forrester could only nod in agreement. “And don’t expect
anything good anymore, bambinos! You’re gettin’ the full enchilada of
bad fanfics next time!” He glowered. “And don’t forget that invention,
or you’ll be seeing how you like breathing without oxygen!”
Pearl sighed and gestured to Erhardt. “Push the button, Bobo.”
“Sure thing, Clarice!” Erhardt replied cheerfully as he pushed
the button.
THE END
*MST3K Mighty Science Theatre theme*
Thanks for reading! I know for a first attempt it’s probably
not the best MSTing you’ve ever read—the host segments are, shall we
say, not so great, and I really wish I’d chosen a different fic once I
got about halfway through it or so—but I had a lot of fun MSTing this,
even so.
Kainichi, thank you for letting me MST this fic, and I meant
what I said up there in the final host segment: you’ve got a lot of
talent. Keep it up.
I also want to thank Megane 6.7 for inspiring me to start
MSTing. I hope it doesn’t feel like I ripped you off anywhere…I did
borrow the Gary Shandling “time passing” riffs, but I hope you take
that as a compliment, since I definitely meant it that way. I hope
this new MSTing series can live up to yours someday.
I would like very much to thank Jim Gadfly for his MSTing page
full of tips for those looking to become MSTers, and ESPECIALLY for
that amazingly useful source formatter tool of his which I happily
used to format the fanfic and will use in the future for other
episodes.
I also want to thank Best Brains Inc. and Joel Hodgeson for
creating Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and giving us ten years worth of
laughs. We’ll keep circulating those tapes.
Again, thank you for reading this. By all means, leave a
review where you found this or send one to my e-mail. Keep an eye out
for more Mystery Fanfic Theatre 9000 pretty soon!
Email Kyronea at picardmpc@gmail.com
http://www.angelfire.com/va/gadfly/mst3k.html --- Jim Gadfly’s
MSTing page
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4112482/1/Hands_to_Scorch_my_Ski n
--- The Original, Un-MSTed version of the fanfic.
*Twang!*
> Axel glanced at me before dropping my wrist. “Sorry, sometimes I
> forget how hot my body is.”
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