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Spoofs, to wit, Quark [message #114324] Tue, 17 September 2013 15:21 Go to next message
okie is currently offline  okie
Messages: 69
Registered: May 2013
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Message-ID: <1156@ihuxi.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 30-Jan-85 15:53:06 EST
Article-I.D.: ihuxi.1156
Posted: Wed Jan 30 15:53:06 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 31-Jan-85 02:24:12 EST
References: <428@topaz.ARPA>
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL
Lines: 13

Quark?  Ah, yes, I remember it semi-well.  I actually kind of
sort of enjoyed the show myself.  Who could forget the two
beautiful cloned sisters and a first officer who is actually
a plant and has to "pollenate" every once in a while?

I also don't remember who wrote/directed/produced the show, but
I remember that Richard Benjamin played Quark.

Anybody else out there remember this?  Can you answer these questions
and add some more details of your own?

B.K.Cobb
ihnp4!ihuxi!okie
Re: Spoofs, to wit, Quark [message #114332 is a reply to message #114324] Tue, 17 September 2013 15:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
vljohnson is currently offline  vljohnson
Messages: 7
Registered: June 2013
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Message-ID: <7239@watrose.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 31-Jan-85 02:34:29 EST
Article-I.D.: watrose.7239
Posted: Thu Jan 31 02:34:29 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 31-Jan-85 03:24:54 EST
References: <428@topaz.ARPA> <1156@ihuxi.UUCP>
Reply-To: vljohnson@watrose.UUCP (Lee Johnson)
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 11
Summary: 

I only saw the show a couple of times, but I remember the pollination
sequence quite well.  The first officer (the "Vegeton") and a woman
(I don't remember, but she was probably a Vegeton, too) were lying on
the floor, side by side, with their arms and legs sticking straight
into the air.  Both were making beeping or peeping noises.  Really
quite silly.

Gee, and I almost thought the show was a figment of my imagination!

Regards,
Lee Johnson
Re: Spoofs, to wit, Quark [message #114354 is a reply to message #114324] Tue, 17 September 2013 15:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
dpa is currently offline  dpa
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Message-ID: <425@ihuxo.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 31-Jan-85 10:11:41 EST
Article-I.D.: ihuxo.425
Posted: Thu Jan 31 10:11:41 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 2-Feb-85 00:25:15 EST
References: <428@topaz.ARPA> <1156@ihuxi.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL
Lines: 15

As I remember, Quark aired about 4 or five years ago and there were
only 4 episodes.  I enjoyed it while it lasted.  Besides Quark, the
captain, the second in command was the "plant" being whose name was
something like Ficus which is a Latin work having to do with plants.
I can't remember the twins names, but I believe they were clones.
The other member of the crew was another alien who kept changing
gender and was called Gene/Jean.

Thier ship was an interplanetary garbage truck and they went around
collecting space baggies.  Can't seem to remember any of the plots.
Probably just as well.
-- 
Dave Allen	ihuxo!dpa	AT&T Bell Labs	Rm: IH 4A-409	Tel:(312) 979-(4378)
Re: Spoofs, to wit, Quark [message #114360 is a reply to message #114324] Tue, 17 September 2013 15:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
schultz is currently offline  schultz
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Message-ID: <227@bgsuvax.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 31-Jan-85 11:33:11 EST
Article-I.D.: bgsuvax.227
Posted: Thu Jan 31 11:33:11 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 2-Feb-85 08:46:05 EST
References: <428@topaz.ARPA>, <1156@ihuxi.UUCP>
Organization: Bowling Green State University, OH
Lines: 10


I remember the guy who played the part of the plant wearing a pressure
guage in his ear to monitor his "turgor pressure."  He was also caught
"pollenating" with the daughter of a visiting ship's captain (I think)
and she wound up getting blasted with a gun that changed her into a pillar
of stone (the fateful blast was aimed at the plant-man).  It was a good 
spoof.

            Steve Schultz
            bgsuvax!schultz
Re: Spoofs, to wit, Quark [message #114422 is a reply to message #114324] Tue, 17 September 2013 15:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Ted[1][2] is currently offline  Ted[1][2]
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Message-ID: <2166@usceast.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 2-Feb-85 01:42:31 EST
Article-I.D.: usceast.2166
Posted: Sat Feb  2 01:42:31 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 4-Feb-85 04:14:48 EST
References: <428@topaz.ARPA> <1156@ihuxi.UUCP>
Reply-To: ted@usceast.UUCP (System Programmer)
Organization: Csci Dept, U of S. Carolina, Columbia
Lines: 48
Keywords: trash, mostly
Summary: 

Ah, yes - Quark.  One of the original postings was titled something like
"spoof or trash", well I'm afraid mostly trash (in more ways than one.)

The basic premise here was that Quark was the commander of an interstellar
garbage truck (ship), although I don't remember his ever making an actual
pickup.  He worked out of a chaotic space station called PERMA 1, under
the supervision of Conrad Janis (of Mork & Mindy fame).  The whole operation
was overseen by a (disembodied?) head called The Head.

Quark's crew consisted of two beautiful clones, a mostly emotionless humanoid
vegatable first officer and a hermaphordite (which meant not what you would
expect, but that he/she would spend half the time acting super macho and
half the time acting sterotypically gay).  In some of the early episodes,
the science officer was a one eyed old man (he put out the other eye by
falling asleep at the microscope). Additionally, there was some sort of
uncontrolable alien pet on board.

Sound interesting?  Well, maybe.  However, every episode I saw (and they
seemed to be very irregularly scheduled) was horrible except for one.
When I say horrible, I mean in a technical sense as well as the writing,
acting and directing.  The laugh track was the worse I can remember on
any show (and if you remember the laugh track of a show at all, that's a
bad sign).

What was the one good episode?  It was a one hour special Star Wars parody.
Everyone else was unavaiable so The Head had to send Quark to save the
federation (or whatever it was).  With Quark and his crew, the head also
sent an invisible, omnipresent and somewhate klutzy entity called 
THE SOURCE.  The bad guys were headquartered in a space station that looked
exactly like Darth Vader's mask.  I don't know how they did it, but 
somehow the jokes in this one were actually funny and the acting competent.
I remember it with great fondness, even though the laugh track did get out
of hand once (when the 2 bettys were denying that they knew each other).
I was hoping that maybe everyone involved had learned something, but when
I tuned in next episode --- same old awful trash.

			Ted Nolan	..usceast!ted

SOURCE : Quick quark, follow me.
Quark  : Right... Wait a minute, your're everywhere.
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ted Nolan                   ...decvax!mcnc!ncsu!ncrcae!usceast!ted  (UUCP)
6536 Brookside Circle       ...akgua!usceast!ted
Columbia, SC 29206          allegra!usceast!ted@seismo (ARPA, maybe)

      ("Deep space is my dwelling place, the stars my destination")
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Re: Spoofs, to wit, Quark [message #118709 is a reply to message #114324] Tue, 24 September 2013 14:33 Go to previous message
Anonymous
Karma:
Originally posted by: zmh10@udenva.UUCP (zmh10)
Message-ID: <474@udenva.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 26-Feb-85 15:40:39 EST
Article-I.D.: udenva.474
Posted: Tue Feb 26 15:40:39 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 6-Mar-85 04:03:58 EST
References: <428@topaz.ARPA> <1156@ihuxi.UUCP> <425@ihuxo.UUCP>
Organization: U of Denver
Lines: 21

> As I remember, Quark aired about 4 or five years ago and there were
> only 4 episodes.  I enjoyed it while it lasted.  Besides Quark, the
> captain, the second in command was the "plant" being whose name was
> something like Ficus which is a Latin work having to do with plants.
> I can't remember the twins names, but I believe they were clones.
> The other member of the crew was another alien who kept changing
> gender and was called Gene/Jean.
> 
> Thier ship was an interplanetary garbage truck and they went around
> collecting space baggies.  Can't seem to remember any of the plots.
> Probably just as well.
  
The clones were both named Betty.  One plot involved Quark aging premat-
urely, one involved the crew meeting their evil doubles, and so on, all
spoofing various Star Trek episodes.  I forget the robot's name, but he
looked a lot like the one from Lost in Space.  He often had personal 
crises and fell in love with other machines.

Steven Howard.  ex-Quark viewer.

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